From All-American to Administrator: Becoming Uncommon with Alexis Crimes

From All-American to Administrator | Becoming Uncommon with Alexis Crimes

What does it take to evolve from an elite athlete to an impactful leader?

In this episode of *Becoming Uncommon*, I sit down with Alexis Crimes, former All-American volleyball player, national champion, professional athlete, coach, administrator, and mother, to explore the lessons learned throughout her remarkable journey in sport and leadership.

Alexis shares how competing as a multi-sport athlete in high school helped shape her athletic foundation and why versatility may be one of the most underrated tools in athlete development today. She reflects on her experiences competing at the highest levels of collegiate and professional volleyball, the sacrifices required to pursue excellence, and the invaluable guidance she received from her grandfather, whose influence helped shape her character and approach to life.

We dive into the power of partnership and collaboration, discussing how championship teams are built through trust, communication, and shared vision rather than individual talent alone. Alexis provides unique insight into what it takes to win at the highest levels and how those same principles apply to leadership beyond sport.

Now serving as a collegiate athletics administrator and leader, Alexis discusses the transition from coaching athletes to coaching coaches, leading larger groups, and developing a broader organizational vision. She shares lessons on leadership, culture building, empowering others, and creating environments where people can thrive.

Finally, we discuss one of her most important roles yet—being a new mother. Alexis opens up about balancing the demands of collegiate athletics, leadership responsibilities, and family life while navigating the challenges and rewards of parenthood.

Whether you're a coach, athlete, administrator, parent, or aspiring leader, this conversation is filled with valuable lessons on growth, resilience, service, and the pursuit of uncommon excellence.

Topics Include:
• Growing up as a multi-sport athlete
• Lessons from elite collegiate and professional volleyball
• The impact of mentorship and family guidance
• Building championship cultures through collaboration
• Transitioning from athlete to coach to administrator
• Coaching coaches and organizational leadership
• Leadership lessons in collegiate athletics
• Motherhood, balance, and personal growth
• What it truly means to become uncommon

#BecomingUncommon #AlexisCrimes #Leadership #Volleyball #CollegeAthletics #WomenInSports #AthleteDevelopment #Coaching #SportsLeadership #NationalChampion #Motherhood #HighPerformance #PersonalGrowth

Transcript

SPEAKER_05 0:00

Hey, what's up everyone? This is Coach Richardson, and I'm here with another episode of Becoming Uncommon. And for me, again, Becoming Uncommon has been a great journey just because I've been able to catch up with some amazing people, been able to explore and identify some awesome journeys of you know how to achieve success, looking at greatness and just everything in between. And so uh with me I have Alexis Crimes. Uh Lexis and I go way back. Um maybe we might share the year a little bit later, but I'm okay. What year was it? So it was like oh seven, oh six, oh five?

SPEAKER_00 0:34

Yeah, I four was my first year.

SPEAKER_05 0:37

Okay, so oh four. So 22 years ago.

SPEAKER_00 0:42

It feels like yesterday. I'm not even gonna lie, it feels it doesn't feel that long ago.

SPEAKER_05 0:46

I'm glad you feel that. Um I feel every year in between. But uh Lexus was an amazing uh standout volleyball player, and while we're we're at Long Beach State, she was there, you know, what I would consider kind of the heyday, um, and was again one of those really cool inspirational athletes that you saw, had a huge presence on campus, big personality. Um, I, you know, watching her come in her freshman year, I was a transfer and be able just to kind of you know take on every challenger and dominate. And so it's a lot of fun uh watching those times. But um, Alexis, why don't you introduce yourself? What are you up to now?

SPEAKER_00 1:22

Um well hello, I'm Alexis Crimes. I am now the associate head coach for Indoor, the head beach coach, and I'm the senior woman administrator at Cal State LA.

SPEAKER_05 1:34

All right. So um you didn't just uh wake up one day and fall into this role.

SPEAKER_02 1:40

No.

SPEAKER_05 1:40

Um so let's go way back. Um, but because yes, there's a lot of to go into, you know, obviously um you grinded as a coach, and you know, you did you weren't just handed opportunities like you've I kind of watched incrementally, like you grinded, like you went through a lot of different stages. Um you had a stellar athletic career uh and you know, a lot to take from there as well. But what led you? Did you always want to get into coaching? That's like no, okay.

SPEAKER_02 2:11

No, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_05 2:12

So, like when you're going into college, what were your majors? What were you thinking? What did if I would have asked the Lexus back in 04, like, what are you going to be doing in 22 years?

SPEAKER_00 2:21

You would have said I was gonna be a doctor, anesthesiologist. So I went into college pre-med, and then I switched, and then I got my undergrad and grad in criminal justice.

SPEAKER_04 2:33

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 2:33

So then after that, after I was like, you know, wanting to be an anesthesiologist, I was like, okay, I'm gonna do CIA, FBI, those type of things. Yes, yes, that was that was I was like because my last name is crime, so I was like It only makes sense. Detective Crimes, you know, that it just it just worked with me. But I got my master's, so I call myself the master of all crimes.

SPEAKER_05 2:55

Okay, there we go. Master crimes. Um so you want to be an anesthesiologist. When did that shift change? Like when or because it kind of hits you like a it's like a like a numb thing, like when you kind of stumble into coaching, right? Like how what was that first like a moment where you're like, I want to do this?

SPEAKER_00 3:15

Well, to answer your first question, how I got into it is when I retired when I was done with the national team and everything like that. Um, I got a call from uh Corpus Christi, uh Texas AM Corpus Christi, and they were saying, Hey, we someone recommended you. Would you love to come out here? And so I was like, sure, why not? Why not? You know, I you know it's an opportunity, I'm gonna do it. And I felt I had all this knowledge. I got all this knowledge after playing professionally, I wanted to share it, and so that's how I really got into it. And so being able to just share my knowledge, that was my biggest motivation. Okay, and I just kept kept going with it.

SPEAKER_05 3:54

Hmm. So you kind of you got you got a call, Corpus Christi is beautiful. Um, how'd you like it out there?

SPEAKER_00 4:02

It was nice, but it you know, it's the only school if I remember correctly, Division I school that's on its own little island, so it's it's kind of isolating, but it's nice, people are wonderful, it's beautiful. I you know, I I enjoyed it. Um, but I left after pretty much a little less than a year because I just had to come back and be home with family.

SPEAKER_05 4:21

Awesome. So okay, now now going even further back, what got you into athletics? Like obviously, um, you know, volleyball was like your main pursuit, but you do you remember like your first exposure to sports?

SPEAKER_00 4:35

My first exposure would be track and field.

SPEAKER_05 4:39

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 4:39

Track and field, yeah. I played for uh played. I ran for the Golden Bears. Okay, yes, and I remember going to track meets at uh Silmar High School, um, running the 100, the 200th, four by four by four, four by one. Yeah, that's that's my first awesome.

SPEAKER_05 4:54

Okay, so you know you got a little track in your blood. I did. Um, so what was that journey like? So you got exposed, you know, through track and field, you play various sports, a couple sports, like how how did that go? And then how'd you how did it all manifest into being volleyball being your main sport?

SPEAKER_00 5:10

So I did I did track for a while. I did track, I did ice skating. My grandfat my grandparents put me into a lot of different things.

SPEAKER_04 5:17

Ice skating.

SPEAKER_00 5:18

Yes, I did ice skating. I thought it was gonna be the black Michelle Kwan. Um then middle school, I did basketball. So I was more basketball track were my two main things.

SPEAKER_04 5:28

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 5:28

Then my junior year, my friend in high school was like, hey, would you come with me to try out for volleyball?

SPEAKER_05 5:35

Junior year of high school?

SPEAKER_00 5:36

Of high school. That's when I started. And I only did it because she asked, because she wanted a friend. And I was like, no, because my usually my first semesters of high school was to focus to get make sure my grades were great, so I had a good foundation going into the spring because I was doing travel ball and track and field, so I knew that's a lot to juggle. I was always what high school? Uh so I went to two, I went to Edawanda and I went to Quartile. Well, Quartile first and then Edawanda. So my first semester, I wanted to make sure I was good with you know my grades. And I was like, volleyball for me, I was like, I it was a really girly sport, you know. I was a track and basketball. That was my thing. Also, I did Taekwondo, so I was also doing that as well. Um, but I did it, you know, as my friend, and then I just kind of just took off because I tried out and within a couple of weeks, uh, one of the coaches from USC came to came to my practice uh at Courtsville. Um I had a whole bunch of colleges starting to recruit me, yeah, within a couple of months. So it just kind of and then I went to a tournament and I saw the director of USA and they said, Hey, are you trying out for at that time it was the youth national team? And I said, No. Um, my you know, my mom couldn't afford to do it, and he said, Hey, don't worry about it. I will waive all of it. Just come and try out. Tried out, uh, got picked to for like the first, like the first half of the the tryouts, and then I made the team and then I was off to Poland, and it just kind of was a world win.

SPEAKER_05 7:11

That is crazy. Yeah, off a whim.

SPEAKER_00 7:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 7:14

Okay, what when was the deciding, or do you remember the moment where you're like, I'm gonna go this way with volleyball and and basketball is gonna go back here?

SPEAKER_00 7:22

Well, it my co one of my coaches, my travel coaches, like, hey, you gotta make a decision because I was doing travel um volleyball, and they the club was paying for me to to go, but at that time I was going back and forth. Like I literally would leave high school practice for basketball to then go to club, and it just became much a lot, and so he was like, You have to make a decision, yeah. So um, and I had a lot of opportunity with volleyball, so I was like, okay, I'll I'll go with volleyball. But I was being recruited by both because I was actually leaning of going to uh Arizona to do both basketball and volleyball.

SPEAKER_05 8:02

Oh, no way, yeah. Is that common even now? That's that ever happened.

SPEAKER_00 8:06

Yeah, there's there's there's several athletes that that do both.

SPEAKER_05 8:09

Interesting.

SPEAKER_00 8:09

Yeah, and so I just made the decisioning decision when I met Brian and I saw um all of the athletes that he produced from the Taiba to Cheryl to Daniel Scott, and you know, they looked like me, and I was like, okay, if he if he can do that for them, he could for sure do that for me. So that's what I mean by decision.

SPEAKER_05 8:27

Yeah, because I I mean I know you're tough because if you can survive those years of Long Beach State, like I don't know too many athletes today that could survive.

SPEAKER_00 8:35

Oh, no. Yeah, no, it but even then, I think within my four-year period of being there, over 20 people transferred. So it was That's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_05 8:46

Like, yeah, yeah, like to be able to like stay in it.

SPEAKER_00 8:49

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_05 8:50

That was before the portal.

SPEAKER_00 8:51

Oh yes, uh yeah. But I I was raised, my grandfather always raised me, if you're gonna do something, do it. You know, don't find an excuse, figure it out, like figure it out. So I didn't really know that there like I knew yes, you could transfer and stuff like that, but I don't think it would have sat right with me to transfer because something didn't feel right. I just had to figure it out. I had to, you know, grind and eventually things would fall my way, but to not do it because it was hard, my grandfather didn't raise me to be like that.

SPEAKER_05 9:23

Because you had two hard coaches, Debbie and Brian. Those are they're tough.

SPEAKER_00 9:26

They're tough, but I I work well with discipline. I work well with structure. So if you tell me to do something to do it, like that that for me, after all the coaches I've had throughout my whole career, I've learned I work better in that in that way.

SPEAKER_05 9:43

Yeah, that's awesome. And I bet like even now, can you reflect on like some of the things that you learned being in that environment to like how you coach now?

SPEAKER_00 9:53

Yes, I I think I'm very I'm very much like Brian and Debbie. Um sometimes I give Debbie looks because Debbie was known for her looks. Like, what the hell are you doing? But Brian, very the structure and understanding there's no one person is the team, everybody is the team. And so when you have a team out there, there's not one person who can do something special just because they can score. No, you're only able to score because you need someone to pass the ball, you need someone to set, you know, there's there's a system to it, and so just making sure everyone feels that there's no iron team, there is everybody, everybody is needing, you know, uniformity. I'm very big on that and discipline. So I carry a lot of those lessons.

SPEAKER_05 10:37

That's awesome. Okay, so now as you're kind of navigating your early coaching career, um, what are some of the the paths and kind of twists and turns that helped you how you got to Cal State LA?

SPEAKER_00 10:48

How I got to Cal State LA. Um, I was at a recruiting tournament, Triple Crown, and I saw Juan Figueroa. That's who I coach with here now. I have known Juan since we were 17 years old because when we were both on the junior, um he was on the Puerto Rican junior team, I was on the USA uh national team. And we had a tournament in Winnipeg for the qualifier for the world championships. And we all we stayed in the same hotel, and it was the USA women, the Puerto Rican men, and the Cuban men. And so, and how it was, it was like an enclosed dormitory. And so that's how we that's how I I met him. So when I saw him about almost 20 years later, it was just like, oh my god, what's going on? You know, I can't believe you're coaching. I hadn't really seen him. I saw him once before, but not, you know, we kind of just lost touch. And he was like, Why did you tell me you were in coaching? You know, I'm at Cal State LA, and I was like, I didn't know, I didn't have your number, and things like that. Um, he's like, dang, I if I if I would have known, I would have hit you up. And so I was like, Oh, it's okay. And then I saw him again, and he was like, My assistant left, would you would you want to come coach with me? But this was right before COVID. Oh no, yeah, this was right before COVID. And so, right when we were the process of doing everything, things shut down, and so it took a minute to get you know to get hired here, but that's the sh the short version of how I I got here.

SPEAKER_05 12:14

Okay. And so for coaching and like coming as an athlete, I think a lot of people have a hard time kind of separating the two, like your athletic identity and like your coaching identity. Um, what are some things that you've struggled with with when it comes to like developing your own personal leadership style, like how you you know coach and teach, um, you know, drawing off your experiences and background?

SPEAKER_00 12:41

The hardest thing is to understand I'm not coaching myself. They how they view the game and how they view being athletes totally different. I was always taught if someone teaches you something, pay attention, listen, you know, absorb. Take what works for you and everything that doesn't, you know. Be respectful, say thank you, okay, you know. But kids, athletes, they're not like that. Sometimes they're just here just to be here, they're not here to get better, they're not here for whatever reason. And so I had to learn how to keep my standards, but understand how to coach for what works for them. So if they're just here just to be here, okay, I have to, that's how I'm gonna coach them. But if they're if they tell me, hey, they want to be good, I'm going to coach you by what you tell me. Because I'm very literal. I've learned that from coaching. I'm very, very literal. If you I've had athletes tell me, okay, I want to be the best middle blocker. Okay.

SPEAKER_05 13:40

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 13:41

I'm going, I'm, I can help you get there. I can't necessarily guarantee it, but I can help you along that journey. And the problem I'll have was is sometimes they just say what they think I want to hear. And so when I hold them to the standards in which they told me, then there it's it's oh, it's I don't want to do this, da da da da. And so, and then not that I take it personal, but I'm like, you told me this, this is what you wanted, you know, and I had to learn to really dive into athletes like, are you sure this is what you want? Because I will push you because this is what you said, not because of what I said, this is what you said, and I need to know because if that's not what you really want, then I need to know, I have to tailor my expectations of what you're of what you really, really want. And so, like it's really having a conversation with them and building that relationship. Because when we were in college, not to say I didn't have a relationship with Brian, but it was just he was my coach, I was the athlete. So he wasn't my friend. He, you know, not to say I didn't respect him that like I couldn't talk to him, but there was I don't know if I can explain it properly.

SPEAKER_05 14:53

Like he didn't know your favorite flavor ice cream.

SPEAKER_00 14:55

No, he knew, like, no, he knew, like, he knew like I'm me and French fries were like this.

SPEAKER_05 15:00

So don't get in between your French fries.

SPEAKER_00 15:02

But we couldn't have that because you know Brian was very strict about that. But no, it's just uh my coach is my coach. I didn't look to them to, I'm not gonna cry on their shoulder or anything like that. I'm looking to them to lead me to be the best version of myself. I didn't necessarily build a relationship outside of that because I didn't look to them for that. Like my coach is my coach, my friends are my friends. If I need to do that, I'm gonna do that. But I feel with this generation, you have to sometimes build that relationship to kind of gear them where they need to go, type of thing. And not to say Brian didn't, but I just knew whatever the coaches told me to do, I'm going to do because I trusted in what they were what they were doing. I knew they weren't gonna steer me the wrong way. But I feel like maybe this generation, they need to have that relationship first before they feel you can guide them. Yeah, and for me, I'm like, look, if I say it, just it I'm I'm trying, I'm not here to steer you in the wrong way. I want you to be great, but you have to kind of have that relationship. So for me, I've had to learn to build that before I can kind of guide them. And that's and for me, that's kind of hard because I'm just like, hey, just do it.

SPEAKER_01 16:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:13

But it's like, no, let's build the relationship. And and you know, and it's it's good um to have that, but it's just that's my thing. I'm really trying to get better.

SPEAKER_05 16:24

Yeah, because I yeah, when I'm thinking about is like uh the that level of implicit trust, just come in with trust. Like that you have to actually build rapport.

SPEAKER_02 16:35

Yes.

SPEAKER_05 16:36

But I think maybe on the flip side, that that transformational type coaching approach, I you know, loosely use that, but it's it I think it can get deeper. I think now we can have maybe deeper impact, deeper trust, but it does, and because maybe there's just more information out there. And I think um, you know, with the you know, I think sport in general is becoming more transactional.

SPEAKER_04 17:01

Yes.

SPEAKER_05 17:02

That so like athletes are almost looking at it like that, and they have to know that you care about them a little bit deeper so that you can ask them to run through the wall type type thing. So yeah, no, it's uh it's getting it's changing. The world is changing for sure.

SPEAKER_00 17:16

It really is, and because for me it's like I didn't need all that. If you're my coach, you're my coach.

SPEAKER_05 17:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:26

And I trust, I trust that you were you're gonna lead me in the right direction. Um, and if not, then I have to have the uh wherewithal to know, okay, take what I need to take, and then do what I need to do to make sure I'm safe as an athlete.

SPEAKER_05 17:42

And so now, yeah, you know, obviously coaching, um, being a head coach and leading um a really great program here at Cal CLA, um, you're like you have some um administrative responsibilities. How did that come about?

SPEAKER_00 17:56

So maybe my second year being here, I was helping our chief of staff and our compliance officer. He couldn't make uh an event and he needed help. So I was helping facilitate, and my AD saw me doing that, and he was like, Hey, I think you'd be great as a senior administrator. And I was like, Well, what is that? Um, and so they told me, they're like, You just help out here and there. I'm like, okay, cool. But then something happened with our chief of staff, he had to go and leave, and then that gave me more responsibility. Um just opened the door for the city. It opened the door, so because now I'm in charge of admissions for the athletic department and housing for the athletic department. That's why you saw an athlete come in here before. And so in the beginning, it was a lot. It it just it was a lot because I'm doing this and and the program and it so yeah, it was it was a lot, and then before um, before that, I was just okay, I was just assistant coach, you know, and then I'm doing like as assistant coach, I'm kind of also doing a double double role. So I'm doing you know, making sure we're getting um the hotels and you know, things like that. So the beginning it was a lot. I'm not gonna I'm not gonna hold you. But now I I I've found my my groove. I kind of navigate things.

SPEAKER_05 19:15

Well, kind of walking through the fire kind of gets you ready so that now you can, you know, be better to like delegate and yes and kind of understand big picture.

SPEAKER_00 19:24

Yes, and it wasn't a walk, I was literally thrown into this fire. I it I it was like, all right, here, yeah, let's let's let's let's figure it out. And now and it's different because I'm a coach, but I also have to be an administrator dealing with coaches. So it it it it's it's a it's a very fine line. I have to I have to balance. And because a lot of in the beginning, I don't think some of the coaches were like, Well, why is she doing this? And I'm also you know young, and so it's like and I'm having to tell certain you know, certain people, hey, you have to do this, this, this, and this. So it's also finding my voice in in that because I can lead the young, but now I'm having to tell my peers what to do. You know, it it it it was difficult in the beginning.

SPEAKER_05 20:09

No, you like I think I love that you found find your voice.

SPEAKER_00 20:12

Trying to every day.

SPEAKER_05 20:14

Every day. Um, no, going into your athletic career because uh stellar athlete, um, do you mind not being shy and kind of I mean, obviously, you know, um I wanna I want to hear even about like high school stuff as well. Um, you know, accolades, you know, championships, you know, um college accolades, all the way through up to your professional career.

SPEAKER_00 20:38

Oh, I don't even know if I'm gonna remember all of the accolades.

SPEAKER_05 20:41

As much as you can. The ones that the ones that um stand out.

SPEAKER_00 20:47

Uh man, I don't think in high school, no, we won some, we won some like conference championships. Like in basketball, won conference championships, um college. So college, I was four-time all-American, um West region uh player, player of the year. I really honestly I really don't remember outside much of that. Um then That's pretty good.

SPEAKER_05 21:15

That's that's a lot.

SPEAKER_00 21:17

I went, I played professionally for 10 years. I was the Olympic alternate for the 2016 games. Um in terms of overseas, I won a lot of what is it? Not conference, I guess conference championships or league. There we go. I went one leagues and league championships. I did pretty well. I did that for about 10 10 years. So I played in Puerto Rico. My that was my first year, and we won the whole thing. So that was that was awesome. Went there, um did the national team, what did that, did Austria, did Italy, did Azerbaijan, Poland? Vienna and Turkey.

SPEAKER_05 22:02

Oh wow.

SPEAKER_00 22:03

Yes.

SPEAKER_05 22:03

Have you seen the world?

SPEAKER_00 22:04

I have seen the world. I have seen the world.

SPEAKER_05 22:07

I yeah, before they had leagues out here, I was well, what did what is some of the like the biggest takeaways going from college to professional? Like for you.

SPEAKER_00 22:15

Ooh, the game is faster.

SPEAKER_05 22:16

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 22:17

The game is faster. And the biggest thing is that that came into my head is it's a business.

SPEAKER_05 22:23

More than more than college.

SPEAKER_00 22:24

More than college, because remember, I wasn't, we weren't there with the NIL, you know, type of thing. So when you go professional, you are the business. You have to make sure you handle all of this to be able to last overseas. When you're in college, you have the you have a training room where you have all of the amenities that you will need. You know, you don't have to worry about it. Anything's wrong. You have multiple trainers that can help you, that can rehab you, all those things. When you go overseas, you might have a trainer, but you that trainer may not know all of the things. I had one one country, I had a trainer who was also our driver. He didn't know how to tape ankles, so I had to learn how to tape ankles. I had to teach him how to tape my ankle. Um, they don't have all of the things, so you have to make sure when you go over there, you have everything. And with that, so let's the health-wise. Then when it comes to business, there's the business of the contracts. Making sure you know what you're putting in the contract, make sure you know what you are signing in these contracts. Because a lot of times they'll say, Oh, yeah, sure, don't worry about it. But word is not bond over there, it's what's in that contract. So you have to make sure you say, Hey, I want this, this, this, and this. Because if not, they are not going to honor the verbal. Now, as you're over there longer and you maybe develop relationships, that might shift. But when you first go in it, no, you have to make sure that that contract is tight, is it's very tight, and understand that the relationship with your agent is it isn't it's not necessarily a friend, it's a business. So make sure they're advocating for you. You, you know, sometimes I had agents, I literally had I literally had an agent who told me, because I was with the national team, we just won, I won Puerto Rico, and so I was asking for more money. And with the agent, if I give more money, you get more money. And he said, Well, what makes you think you deserve more money? Just because you have your last name on the USA jersey. And at the beginning, when I was younger, when he said it to me, I was like, dang. But now I'm thinking, yes.

SPEAKER_03 24:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:40

Yes. I I'm not asking after I've had a losing season. I'm asking after I've done doing something. And in that season, we were like 22 and I think we went 22 and oh before we lost our first game. And we lost one before we even won the, you know, even we lost one game and then we went on a run and won the championship. And so it was like, as an Asian, I don't feel you should necessarily say that. So it's learning how to advocate for yourself and you know, do all those things. So it's it's a lot, and then the game itself is a lot faster. You know, now you're playing with when you were in college, you have there's good people, but there's few. When you get to college, everybody's good. Not college. When you get to professional, everybody's good. And so it's learning how to, you know, find yourself, keep yourself healthy, and you know, the longevity of a season. Because I play for the most part long seasons. Puerto Rico's a short season, but for long season, eight eight to ten months. Yeah. That you're over there and by yourself in a country where you know sometimes there's days where you don't even talk. Outside of like maybe your practice and you know you're just yelling stuff. Yeah, you're you're yelling stuff, and then you just you go home, and if you don't have anybody with you, yeah, you're just you don't you may not be talking.

SPEAKER_05 26:05

Dang. Oh well, you learn a lot about yourself.

SPEAKER_00 26:08

You do, you do, but for me, I I loved it. Now, when it got closer to time to come home, I was like, I'm ready to come home, I'm ready to come home, but I I didn't mind it. I'm an only child, so I'm I'm used to being being by myself, so it was it was okay. It was alright.

SPEAKER_05 26:26

That's so cool. So, what what are some of those lessons that you take from your professional career that you help with your athletes today?

SPEAKER_00 26:32

That's a good question. Who I think awareness, self-awareness, understanding yourself. You're gonna be in this world where people are gonna tell you who you are, and you have to be able to say, You can tell me that, but I know who I am, and be okay with that. And being playing professional, you're you have there's so many coaches. Oh no, you should do this, you should do that, you should do that, and you're trying to find your voice. And I just really had to find out who I was and be okay with myself because I saw so many athletes who were like, Oh my god, you're amazing, you're this, you're that, but I had to be okay to say, I'm good, I'm amazing. And so I try to tell athletes figure out who you are, figure out how you are as an athlete, how what your personality is, what you like to do, and be okay with that, and be okay with the mistakes, but understand you are not the mistake, because that was that was something I struggled with in college and also playing professional is figuring out that my mistake does not define me, and that I'm enough even with a mistake, because as an athlete, it's very not transactional, but it's very if you make a mistake, ah you know, the crowd is like, what the hell? You know, and there's the the ebb and flows, and sometimes I would always ride the highs and I would ride the lows, and I had to learn how to find the middle, and the middle is enough, you are enough, and if you are low, okay, figure out the why. What is causing X, Y, and Z, and understand there's a way to get out of it, and that you don't have to be stuck in that. And so I was very um uh what is it? I focus on the why. Why is very big on for me because that helps me kind of stay here versus staying staying down here.

SPEAKER_05 28:26

So, who are some of your mentors like when it comes to coaching? I think um, obviously, you know, having watched and been around and kind of seen you navigate your coaching career thus far is like who are some of the standout like mentors that you really kind of you know hinge, you know, who you are today on?

SPEAKER_00 28:47

Brian and Debbie, I think, are a big foundation of who I am because they were a good chunk of my volleyball career. So I'm they are, but I also everybody is anybody that has ever coached me, my coach Ryan, uh that was for my club basketball team, how he was with discipline. I I take bits and pieces from everybody that I really look up to that I'm like I respect. Okay, let me just take take from that. So, because I someone asked me that before, and I really stressed over it because I was like, I don't know who is my men, my mentor. I worked, I work a lot with uh Matt Ulmer. Um, he was at Oregon, now he's at Kansas because he was my volunteer, and now he's the head coach at Kansas for volleyball. So I work with him as well, but I just take anybody, and it doesn't necessarily have to be volleyball, um, basketball, any any sport, anyone that I'm like, all right, you're you're doing great at it. What can I pull? What can I pull from that? So I'm not I'm not stingy in in terms of mentors, and anybody can be my mentor because everybody there's something that somebody's a master at more than me. So I try to pull pull from there.

SPEAKER_05 29:57

Uh what about um the Duke Coach, uh Kara?

SPEAKER_00 30:00

Oh yes, handle hard better.

SPEAKER_05 30:01

Yeah, I think that's her that's her I saw that on your yeah, yes, yes.

SPEAKER_00 30:04

Um, yeah, see, just anything. I just finished reading Don Stanley's book. Oh really? Yes, I I am I I'm a sponge. I think the how I got here is because I absorb. I take, I take from people that are better than me, and I try to figure out how I can instill that into myself. Yeah, that's again my grandfather, he he was a big advocate for that, and so and that's how I learned how I was able to do what I did in volleyball. It's not because I was better than anybody. Now, I will say I can jump. I had a really good job. I I can jump, I'm a jumper, but there's a lot of girls that can jump. There's a lot of girls, but for me, what got me to where I am and what I did is because I just absorbed. I I can just take in, you can tell me something, and I'll be like, okay. And I would do literally what you what you say. And because I'm like, I I can see, I can trust my discernment is is very I'm I trust it, and I'm like, all right, I can see you know what you're talking about. Let me take what you're what you're saying, and let me just do exactly what you're we're doing. And then my body can tell me, ah, this isn't working. How can I tweak it a little bit, you know, here and there, but you tell me to do something? Alright, cool. I'm gonna trust it.

SPEAKER_05 31:18

Yeah, that that is actually very unique because um I think sometimes what I'm noticing while I when I think back about like our current athletes is that they have a hard time trusting their instincts. Yeah, like they they do see what you're saying, like maybe hey, I can learn that from that person, or I can take that and apply it. Like they their instincts are telling them, like, yeah, take that. But like there's like this doubt, and they don't they know how to listen or kind of um I guess build that that resiliency to like trust who they are to be able to take things from others without feeling like they're compromising their own ex.

SPEAKER_00 31:57

I never thought about it. I I I'm not saying I never had doubt, but I always think, well, why if they can do it, why can't I? What about them is so much sp is so special that I can't do it. Because I always feel like there's something in me that can do it, like there's something in me that I can be whatever I want it to be. So I just but I have to figure it out. So, like, for example, trying to get back on the national team because I tore my meniscus in the 2012 quad. So I wasn't with the national team for a while. But something in me said I can do it. Now I had doubts, I had tears, I had like the people that I was with, they're you know, they're already surpassing me. But I was like, something in me said I can do it. Something in me to the point where I wrote the national team coach, I wrote coach cards and said, Hey, I want to come back. And no one's ever done that. And um before I was even ready, before I was even ready, but then I spent I spent almost a year and spending about seven to eight hours a day studying the game when I was overseas because you have a lot of time, you have a lot of time, you have a lot of time, and I just studied the game because something in me said I could do it, and I had no roadmap, and I tried, I tried to look, I Googled athletes that were never on the team before that tried to get back, never pulled up anything, didn't find anything, and so I was like, okay, well, maybe I could just be that person, and so I was reaching out to all of my resources and saying, okay, I would take video, send it to them. How can I be better? What's wrong with this? I had to take the ego out of it because one, I don't like looking at myself, so like I may not necessarily watch this video because I'm critiquing myself. Um, not because I don't want to sport, but like I'll I'll watch it, but just not really watch it because I'm I'm my biggest critic. But I had to take the ego out of it, and I said, Hey, tell me what was wrong. Tell me this and that. I had to learn. There was a lot of things I didn't know about volleyball because again, I started when I was 16, and so I went through it super fast.

SPEAKER_05 34:09

Yeah, you started late.

SPEAKER_00 34:10

I started late, so there's a lot of things that I fell through the cracks, so I had to go and learn, had to cross-reference and you know, a lot of those things, and there was a times where I'm like, I don't know what I'm doing. I I'm I I could be doing something, and they're gonna be like, No, and I just wasted all this time. But I was like, I had to do it. I I just had to, like the spirit in me just said, do it. And they came, like the literary coach cards came to Turkey to come watch me play. Oh, no way, and then later I found out they spent hours, they said they spent like over 10 hours watching film with me to see if I um would have the opportunity to come back, and unbeknownst to me, but I I I put in the work, and so for the kids that are like, oh they're not sure, if they have doubt, I'm like, do it anyways, do it anyways, do it even when it feels uncomfortable. And boy, was I uncomfortable. I had to learn how to meditate. I like to really meditate to the point where I was able to meditate for 20 hours and focus on my breath and not get lost in the thought. And it that sounds like oh 20 minutes, but no, that's that's that's a long, a long time because we have about 50,000 thoughts a day. And it's just being able to focus on the thought or focus on what I needed to do, man. I sometimes I'm like, man, I did that. And so I'm like, well, what's my next, what is my next thing? So even now, and so to the point with the doubt. So now I'm like, well, can I do that again? Can I pick something and do that again? And that's where it's scary for me, it's like, man, but I did all that and I didn't necessarily a hundred percent get what I want. And so I'm I'm scared. I'm like, well, can I can I focus and go towards something? But what if I don't achieve it again? What if what if I don't achieve? So now I've done two things I haven't achieved, but everything that I learned up to that point has put me in this position I am now.

SPEAKER_05 36:14

Yeah, because it seems like um people want a a level of certainty, or like I've had a conversation with an athlete not too long ago, is uh it's like don't negotiate with yourself, you know, like don't be like, I'll do this if there's like there's like a real chance, you know, like they they don't really want to invest quite yet. And that's what I'm I I'm working on as a coach right now is especially for community college athletes, is kind of helping them have that level of vision about like who could you possibly be like be delusional about it almost and and start working towards it, you know what I mean? And don't don't compromise.

SPEAKER_00 36:54

I don't necessarily think it's delusion. I saw I see what I want to see because I know I can make it reality, but I don't think it's delusional. Before we won the n their the national championship here, I envisioned it. Now, did people think I was delusional? Yes, but I didn't take that as my reality. I thought it was possible for me and for our program. I didn't think it was delusional. Because again, if other people can do it, why can't I? Nobody's you guys, nobody has more power or anything like that. It's just you decide to make you make a choice and you work towards it. And that's and that's where I that's what I choose to believe. And so I believed it could happen. I didn't know when, but I visualized it. I saw it, I I created the vision of how I wanted it to be. And I just kept I just kept visualizing and visualizing, and we got it.

SPEAKER_05 37:57

That's amazing.

SPEAKER_00 37:58

Now it wasn't just me, like I just because I saw it didn't mean it wasn't going to happen, but I worked towards it. Even Juan, when I told him that, he was like, Yeah, that's you're he was like, You're delusional. He told me that, but I didn't his words weren't my gospel. I was like, I we can do it, we can do it, and I'm gonna work towards these girls for us for us to get there.

SPEAKER_05 38:25

So, and maybe that's what makes me a little different, a little different, a very a lot of different yeah, because I just think you're very a lot of different you know, I'm different.

SPEAKER_00 38:33

Don't get me wrong, I'm very, I'm very different. A lot of people think I'm weird and all those and all those things and that and I didn't say that, but no, I hell I'm weird, I already know that. But in terms of sometimes what I can do, I don't think it's delusional. If I want to say, hey, I I want to go get a Bugatti, all right, I can do it. I don't know how, but I'm gonna visualize it. But the hard part is is visualizing it and trusting what you're seeing because sometimes you can have the vision, but you don't trust it, and that's where it's kind of glitches. But when I for for us winning the national championship, I didn't glitch. I was like, okay, I can do this, I just gotta figure out how.

SPEAKER_05 39:17

Yeah, and well, I mean, because then yeah, like I mean, we can go all in, you you've heard all the stuff about like manifestation and kind of that, you know, um, and it's tough to like you're saying that you lived it, you know, and but for people that maybe don't have the internal fortitude to really push through some of the doubts, because like from that that that vision to actually executing, there was ups and downs and moments where a lot of people probably could have allowed doubt to make them go right or go left and you know kind of detour from what their vision is. And I'm sure there's moments when between the vision of w wanting to win the national championship and actually winning, there were girls probably came and went, you know, there's moments of like dysfunction or adversary, you know. I mean, it doesn't mean that there wasn't, you know, um, like a linear path. So um, how did you navigate, you know, those moments where maybe most people would maybe concede their vision or something like that?

SPEAKER_00 40:28

I had the doubts, I had all the things. I had all the all the things I did like I had everything that would make that made me want to stop, but I just paused. I didn't stop because I wanted it, because I'm very big on if you could be great, I could be great. So how do I figure it out? You just just figure it out, like you just figure it out, figure it out until you actually get it. Figure it out until you get it, and because I just I I when I see people that are doing great things, I want to do great things as well. So how do I do it? Yeah how do I do it? And so in that process of of the natty journey, we lost. We I think so I got here, we lost in the 316, we went to the final four, final four, natty. No, no, so lost the lost in the 316, natty, final four, natty, final four. So we lost we won in my first three years here. We got the yeah, we got the natty. So I got him, I came in 2020, 2023 won.

SPEAKER_04 41:44

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 41:44

So it was like we got there, we lost, you know, and so it was a process, but it was like, okay, we we can figure it out. I don't I don't know how to explain it because there was there was doubt with me. I definitely have a lot of doubt, a lot of insecurity. What do I know how to coach? Do I know how to be like every you know, everybody else? Do I know all the things, all the things come in my head on a daily, you know, because I see I see my peers and I'm seeing what they're doing. I'm like, well, do I really know how to do it? That that internal voice sometimes comes in my head of the people of what they said about me, that what I couldn't be, what I couldn't do. That is that is still constantly in my head. You asking me to do this, I'm like, why would you want to interview me? You know, what what about me is going to make someone be like, oh, I don't want to listen to what they're gonna say. I I have that, but then I also think, but why not me? And sometimes that why not me is powerful than my any any doubt that I might I might have.

SPEAKER_05 42:49

Yeah, that's awesome. Because yeah, I I have this. I I mean when you said that, like I really resonate because every problem has a solution. It's like, are you willing to fight and work and spend the time on the solution? Some solutions don't come overnight, it might take a few XYZs, but there is a solution. So are you willing to find it? And when you do find it, are you willing to accept it? That that one I had a hard time with a few months ago. That's a story for another day. But um, but now I want to kind of uh talk a little bit about the state of college athletics. You have a very unique role. Um, I think Division II is a beautiful spot just because you do still get the diamonds in the rough, um, you still get to make impact at a deeper level, um, and the level of competitiveness is extremely high and getting higher on a regular basis. Um, so what is your kind of just a hot take on the state of uh NCAA sports right now?

SPEAKER_00 43:46

It's a big business. Yeah, it's a big business. Just in terms of the D1 level, yeah, it's yeah, the Power Five, that's really what's going on, and then then just the mid majors. And I think for us, where we're at, we we can. compete with the mid-majors. We because we usually a lot of times we play division one teams.

SPEAKER_04 44:05

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 44:05

Um, especially not necessarily not during season, but during spring. Like we played Pepper Dyne, we played uh Fullerton. We were supposed to play Fullerton. So we're always playing those teams. So we're in the sweet spot of of um of competition. And our conference is is ambitious. It's a really, really good competition. And so it's I think we're in a good spot to always compete and really just put ourselves in a position that we can be you know national competitors, contenders. There you go. So I'm liking it.

SPEAKER_05 44:41

So when it comes to um because I'm looking at like you you're talking we talked a little bit about like the transfer portal and things but for me coming from community college um I don't see especially when I just look at division one and women's volleyball there's not a lot of community college transfers. And so um I'm just wondering like what is because it seems like and I don't know this like I my my daughter right now is 10 she's not involved in volleyball. So um but I hear it and I've seen it you know the world like oh travel and there's tournaments every every weekend they practice they have hitting coaches and this and that there's so much going on so it's like um in terms of the opportunities for young women like what is it seems like the top ones get picked up and then there's this trickle down but what happens at like what is your take or perspective of community college and and like getting them to the NCAA level just because like I said I haven't seen it much to the division one level?

SPEAKER_00 45:51

Or yeah yeah you just have to you have to have transferable habits that are going to get you the D1 level you have to be able to score consistently block pass whatever the position is and I think sometimes at the when you're at the JUCO level they don't have the consistency that a D1 coach is looking for I in my in my opinion that's where I think is the discrepancy. You know they can score but can they score consistently can they score you know against bigger blocks or you know can they how is their passing all those things I just I think there's a lacking of the consistency that is needed to get to the D1 level in in my opinion. And then how about for like D2 or for like the D2 I think it's a little easier um because there is not as much uh stress of looking for not to say D2 is not looking for the consistency but it may not be at as a high level as a D1.

SPEAKER_05 46:54

Because would you say that you have there's more latitude to develop like hey like we'll we can maybe you maybe those are think those can be learned skills.

SPEAKER_00 47:06

Yeah yeah I uh yes I just I think at the D1 level they're already looking for you to be good. They're not necessarily always trying to like a finished product yeah they're not necessarily trying to develop you and what they are trying to develop is small but when you're at the D1 level you already have to have that arm. You know and they're willing to make little tweaks but to teach you how to completely hit that's they'll find someone who can actually already hit you know to completely block that's that's just gonna take a lot you know they'll take some little tweaks here and there but to the sometimes the kids at the JUCO level you have to re you're you're gonna have to shift a lot of things a lot of things on terms of the physical and also the mental the mental the the difference in my opinion the difference between D1 and D2 is there's players that are just as good in the D2 level but their mind isn't there. They don't have that mindset. Whereas the D D1 level like they're ready to go okay hey let's go.

SPEAKER_05 48:05

And in the JUCO level is the same thing their mind is just they're not they don't have that growth mindset that we're necessarily looking that we're necessarily it's such a small window of time in life that it's like by the time you know that so when it comes to recruiting what are some of the um I want to get like when you look at a recruit you're that just makes you glow and what are some of the things that like are like eh red flags?

SPEAKER_00 48:31

The ones that make me glow effort they just yes tireless effort. Yes they're effort um how are there as a teammate giving high fives cheering when they're on the bench they're not playing they're cheering for their teammates they're you know they're not sitting there sulking doing all that and things of that nature um I think those are two biggest things that I really that stand out. And then the ones that are you're like okay I'm steering away from are the ones that they make a mistake and they go off. They turn their back to their teammates. They have no effort they're it just about themselves. And when you play it's not about yourself it's about about the team. Yeah you could be the best player on the team but you can't be the best player by yourself. And if you wanted to be by yourself then you have to play an individual sport.

SPEAKER_05 49:21

Go to track. No watch when I watch volleyball it's such an organism it is very much an organism. It is crazy more than any I mean a lot of other team sports it is like because it like it moves together. It's like a you know a it's like a dance.

SPEAKER_00 49:40

Yeah and always said volleyball is a dance.

SPEAKER_05 49:42

Ooh interesting yes it's a rhythm to it yeah so when it comes to recruiting what are some of the things that like so I got like effort and a great teammate make your red flag you know like selfish bad attitude something like that um but what are some of like your if you had to call like your recruiting philosophy what would you say is like you know some of the things that you hang your hat on as a recruiter?

SPEAKER_00 50:07

Hmm that's a good question. I d you know what Juan is uh he does a lot of the recruiting not to say I don't but he does a good chunk a good chunk of it and I always hear him talking about like for an outside hitter if they can't pass they're not playing they they aren't playing he's very big because Juan was a big outside hitter or was an outside hitter so he's big on that so for me I would say it's just more how you are as a a person how how are you when you're playing because I feel like I can teach you how to play but I can't teach you how to be an athlete I can't teach you how to if you see your teammate on the floor I I got you I'm gonna help you um your bad body language I can't teach all I can't I can't reverse that in four years. I can try but I want to teach you how to be a good player. And so my philosophy is just how are you when nobody's looking and if you are if you're someone that I'm like I would love to go to that person all right then I I would want you on the team and then I can I can teach you everything else I'm confident enough I can teach you everything else I gotta figure out but I can teach you but I don't want to have to teach you how to be a your character.

SPEAKER_05 51:28

I don't have to do I don't have to do all that I I really don't I laugh because like that's kind of what I do you know I mean like I have to I I just had a conversation not too long ago with a young person about hey like this is how you respond when a coach is tough on you. And if you respond how you responded and you were at the four year that's not going to be good and you have to learn how to overcome what's inside like I have that yeah so I laugh because like I said I just had that conversation like like literally right before I came but yeah but it's it but it's one of those things it's it's uh it's a great journey um so now what is next for you Miss Crimes like what's like what do you what do you see on the horizon? Obviously you have a a bundle of joy that I got a chance to meet yes so that's amazing um I love the just the baby feel like my because I heard you know there's this quote you know you know Instagram they see everything it's like you don't remember the last time you like carried your kid and then like just picking her up right now is like when's the last time I carried Callie is my 10 year old is like because she's big and long is like like her feet would drag if I carried her. Oh but yeah so obviously you have um your future uh volleyball player there but um she can be anything she doesn't really track and field then I'm gonna recruit that's actually the first portion going there we go yes all right I got dibs um but yeah so what what's on the horizon? Man anything well one learning how to navigate being uh a mom and a working and a working mom just just trying navigate that because she's only nine months so I'm really I'm really new to this so I'm really trying to figure it out but the first thing that comes to my head I want to win another national championship okay we're gonna win another national championship you know what's better than winning a national championship what winning another one you don't skip me yes so winning that um I would love to be a a head coach a head coach somewhere I don't know necessarily where but I would love to be a head coach but I also love working with Juan me and Juan we are like a great team that's cool I feel we're like Brian and Debbie we're like we're just like we work really really it's like working with it's working with family he's um harper's god uh godfather um so it's it's I I love working with him so you know maybe us working somewhere else or me being a head coach I I think that would be great um but also there has not been a female a black female division one coach that has won a natty so that's also been in my in my head to be the first to do that there has never been a black female coach that's ever won there's been assistants but not a head coach wow so um I definitely have you know thought about that and then as an administrator I've also thought about that because I like doing that I just got accepted into the EFW uh effective facilitation workshop for the NCAA and so doing that is like I'm I'm super excited for that so I was like hey maybe an A D there's not very very few women uh black women ads in uh college athletics so I'm also thinking about that I I really know the it the world is my yeah it's just open awesome so I don't I don't know I don't know yeah I don't know yet but I know it's gonna be something big all right so you got yeah you're on your launch pad that's because um based on what you're saying earlier you know you you when things come into a vision for you like you I lock in yeah yeah I lock in it's something in in my spirit when it's when it's when it's on me I I have to go I have to go for it but right now it's not really it's kind of quiet.

SPEAKER_00 55:33

You know it has some rumblings but where to really steer I don't know yet.

SPEAKER_05 55:37

Yeah and it's cool because like obviously you seem like you're you've been eager to take on things to be and these these new responsibilities are really kind of sharpening your leadership um you know obviously your voice and kind of your vision and um maybe giving you a deeper perspective of like what is this thing that I'm working in so that you know um because it's coaching is hard and it and it's really tough because I find that it's like coaching is those things that where you plant seeds and sometimes you never see the fruit of your seed. You just never know why or when it's gonna come up come about but yeah yeah it's it's a fun one.

SPEAKER_00 56:21

It's it yeah it's fun it's a frustrating one because it's you think you got them and then you have a practice where you feel like it just it's all went down down the drain or you're just like they frustrate you or things like that and then the next day they do something you're like ah okay it comes together. It comes together so for me that's just something learning how to just to navigate and to understand the ebbs and flows of being a coach where there's good days and there's days where I'm like should I be coaching should I I have those yes yes yeah I'm like I understand that I I think I think I I make the wrong decision.

SPEAKER_05 56:57

So it's and just knowing that to that feeling shall pass and if it doesn't then that's when I have to learn how to put that yeah all right so what is uh some words of advice that you would give to um some young aspiring student athletes um you know based on kind of where you see college going maybe they have aspirations to competing at the next level like what are what are some things you want to leave them with one if you want to do something do it but do it don't half ass it don't do it because it sounds good do it because you want to do it and then get to work and getting to work means really getting to work understanding the game understanding yourself and be consistent with it greatness only comes from consistency not from doing it every other when you feel like it feelings are fleeting but goals and dreams and accomplishings accomplishing them last forever so really work your goal where you are really spending time getting better and not doing something because it sounds good and that's the biggest thing because I hear a lot of athletes tell me oh I want to do this this this and when I say okay well what did you do today to work towards your goal oh well I have nobody cares about an excuse either you want it or you don't there is no try is either do it or don't and so that's the biggest thing and sometimes that's hard for some people to um to to to digest because it's like oh you you wanna you want to argue your limitations and there is you can't you just do it and I know it sounds cliche but if you really want something you put everything towards it and you're gonna have to sacrifice some things.

SPEAKER_00 58:44

There is gonna be a sacrifice either it's relationships or a lot of times it's hanging out with other people that's where their sacrifice is going to be because you're gonna have to spend time educating yourself on what you want to do or putting in the work or you know working out or whatever the case may be. But once you actually accomplish it it's gonna it's gonna be be worth it. But you have to really mean what you say and then put the work in.

SPEAKER_05 59:12

Yeah because I um that's when you say sacrifices I was helping the coach and and we were talking and it's like when you're actually in it you really want it it's not actually sacrifices. They're just things that you do right it's just this is just what I do. I train I do this I go here I don't go there I don't do this that's because that's what I want to do. They're not seen as sacrifices. Exactly and that's when I notice that somebody's not on track when they're like look what I'm sacrificing. Well that's the problem you think you're sacrificing instead of just on your journey.

SPEAKER_00 59:44

Yeah but sometimes there is sometimes there is going to be some sacrifice in the sense of I'm gonna have to miss my family's reunion I'm gonna have to miss this birthday party I'm gonna have to those type of things you're going to it's either you're going to work towards this or you're going to go towards that. So there is that there that there is that type of sacrifice about like ice cream oh yeah that that's what I was no but yeah there's those for me that was the type of sacrifice I'm not gonna be able to hang out with my friends I'm not gonna be able to hang out with my friends. I'm not gonna be able to do that. Where even because that might you know that it might wear on that relationship right yeah it's like yeah and and at that time when I was going towards stuff I I was okay with that I was okay with hey I may not have strength in these relationships and so and then later on I was just like hey this is what it was and if we're really good friends and if I'm able to communicate what it was and they're able to accept it great and if they're not I understand but I'm not living in regret and I wouldn't I never want to live in regret because then I'm gonna look at you or whatever I thought I was not sacrificing for like if I chose you over my goal and I didn't really and I'm not okay with how that goal went then I'm gonna look at you and I'm like well I did X, Y, and Z. I could have been doing this, but I was here and I never want to be I I don't want to put that on somebody and I don't want to live with that. And I I would rather live with I went towards my goal I would rather be selfish at the end of the day I'd rather be selfish and focus on that goal and know I'm doing it and then okay if I have to later on focus on strengthening relationship I will but I'm okay with me first and I'm okay with that.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:39

Hmm that's awesome thank you so much thank you for having me amazing thank you oh no you're amazing this is awesome thank you all right guys thank you uh another episode of Becoming Uncommon um coach crimes where can they find you and uh yeah find me here Mike LA are you like talking about Instagram and stuff?

SPEAKER_00 1:01:56

Um Instagram oh okay Instagram Miss Crimes M I S S Crimes like I don't commit a lot of crimes all one word.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:03

Yeah yeah all right sounds good thank you guys thank you all this was awesome