Rewrite Your Story: Intuition, Reinvention & the Power of Narrative

We all live inside stories, about who we are, what we're capable of, and what's "realistic." But what if those stories aren't fixed?

In this episode of Edge of Excellence, hosts Jess DeForge and Bryon Beilman sit down with Dora Farkas, Ph.D., Director of Business Development at Connex Ecommerce, author, storyteller, and leadership advisor, to explore how intuition and narrative drive meaningful change in careers, leadership, and life.

Dora shares how she built a six-figure consulting business as a stay-at-home mom, what her experience with mental health during her Ph.D. taught her about trusting herself, and how she helped a B2B company shift from a product-focused pitch to a compelling human story. She also opens up about her fiction trilogy — Choice and Lost Illusion — and what she's discovering as she writes the third book.

This conversation covers the neuroscience behind intuition, the strategic power of storytelling, and practical ways to access both, whether you're leading a team, navigating a pivot, or just ready to rewrite your own narrative.

Dora's Links

• DoraFarkas.com 

Dora's Books

• "The Smart Way" to Your PhD 
• Choice 
• Lost Illusion 
• The $20 SaaS Company 

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:03

This is the Edge of Excellence, empowering people to shape the future. Let's inspire, innovate, and explore together. I'm Jesta Forge, and today's episode is about something deeply human, the stories we tell ourselves and how those stories shape our careers, leadership, and lives.

SPEAKER_03 0:23

And I'm Brian Beilman, and joining us today is Dora Farkas, storyteller, author, leadership advisor, and someone who has built her career from intuition, reinvention, and business narrative. Dora has helped founders reshape their company stories, co-authored two books with a CEO to humanize a brand, and built a six-figure consulting company rooted in her own personal experiences. I've personally seen Dora's leadership in action through her work at Toastmasters and leading network events through her work at Connect ECommerce. Dora, welcome to the Edge of Excellence.

SPEAKER_00 1:01

Thank you, Jessica. Thank you, Brian, for having me. It's a real pleasure and honor to be here.

SPEAKER_01 1:05

Yes, I'm so thrilled to have you here. And Dora, before we dive into today's topic, I'd actually uh love for you to walk us through your background and the journey that led you to the work that you're doing today.

SPEAKER_00 1:17

Yeah, thank you for asking. So interestingly enough, my background is in science and engineering, and it sounds a little counterintuitive that that's what actually led me to my work around intuition. And what happened was that I was working on my PhD in biological engineering, and that was probably the most difficult thing that I've done in my life. Because especially towards the end, I was having a lot of health issues, and there were issues with my research. And after almost six years, I really thought I would need to drop out. Wow. Yeah. And but there was something in me that said, I need to keep going, like I need to give it a little bit more time. And what happened was that because of my health issues, I couldn't type for long periods of time. I was forced to take breaks. So I would go on a lot of walks. And I discovered that when I went on the walks, that's when I had the intuitive insights about how to tie pieces of my dissertation together. So places where I felt really stuck, where I felt like, for example, if I had conflicting data in one section, then I thought, oh, like I can't write this. I have to like tear up this chapter. But when I went on a walk, I got this intuitive insight. Oh, that's how I can put this together. That's how I can make that narrative. And I discovered that I get these intuitive insights when I'm not in front of my computer.

SPEAKER_01 2:43

No, I think that's so strong. And is something I've heard, you know, other people on our team talk about, even, you know, when you're so deeply involved in a project, to your point, it sounds counterintuitive to step away when you feel like you've hit a block of some sort, like you need to like stay there and dive into it further. But it's actually the stepping away, getting some fresh air and you know, getting a new perspective that really helps unlock solutions to problems. So I love that that, you know, is how you kind of worked through those those problems that you were having to get your PhD.

SPEAKER_00 3:14

Yeah, yeah, it was really amazing. Yeah, that's actually what helped me to finish.

SPEAKER_01 3:18

No, that's I think that's so healthy. That's so healthy and so important for people to hear.

SPEAKER_03 3:23

I was also just in uh the you know, the fact that you're so in tune with your intuition is is somewhat of a superpower, I think, because I've mattered, I'm I'm I'm reading this book to uh it's called The Gift of Fear, and it's about and it's um it was really about how intuition is almost nearly always right, and logic sometimes clouds things up. And and in this is there's uh this person was talking is talking about using intuition to avoid to keep yourself safe. Uh and so, but it would I'm just into this, but now I'm now how how uh how timely that we're we have uh yeah someone who's who's really in tune with their intuition.

SPEAKER_01 4:03

No, absolutely. So Dora, when people hear you speak or they read your work, what do you most want them to walk away with?

SPEAKER_00 4:13

What I want them to walk away with is that we each have a story that we tell ourselves, and most of the time those stories are not true. Like we tell ourselves, I cannot write a book, I'm not capable of going for that job, et cetera. And we can each choose to tell ourselves a different story, but the story we're gonna tell ourselves has to be something that is true to us. So we can't say, oh yes, I am capable of a job that we know is out of our reach because we're not gonna believe it. But going back to my dissertation, the story that I started telling myself every day was I can go from A to B today. Like that's it. I'm just gonna get this little piece done. And that and that felt very believable. Um, so, or for example, another great story you can tell yourself is when I need help, I can find people to support me. That's also very believable. So these are the stories that are more empowering and more true that can actually lead you to your end result that you would love to have.

SPEAKER_01 5:14

No, absolutely. And when we chatted before jumping onto this recording, you had said uh the statement if if you change your story, you can change your life. And I walked away from that call, like feeling so empowered by that statement. And it's something that I've been really marinating on a bit since that conversation. Can you kind of unpack that a little bit more?

SPEAKER_00 5:35

Yeah, I keep going back to my dissertation, but that's actually why I'm here in the first place. So I had that choice, you know, am I gonna drop out or am I gonna give it another go? And really the only thing that I did was change that statement. Like, what can I do today? Like, what is that small A to B that I can do today? So that led me to finish my dissertation, which led me to then work in the pharmaceutical industry and then write my first book, The Smart Way to Your PhD. And then that put me on a path to uh creating my six-figure consulting business and then other career uh opportunities, as well as my other two books. So that one little change just put me on a completely different trajectory.

SPEAKER_01 6:19

Yeah, it's interesting that you're talking about kind of these smaller steps that kind of helped you break what might have seemed rather daunting into something actionable. We were just having another conversation on a different episode about something similar when it comes to business and it being overwhelming sometimes to think about goals within business and how really it's about, you know, kind of dialing in and breaking things up into smaller, more targeted goals. So, you know, from what you're saying, that applies to, you know, your personal life as well, which is so important to be able to do.

SPEAKER_00 6:50

Yeah, yeah. I mean, almost anything I've achieved was always like the small things stacked together.

SPEAKER_01 6:56

Now, is this something that you had the skill set in intrinsically to be able to do for yourself? Or did you rely on others or mentors to kind of help you think about that path or think about ways to break, you know, something that felt really overwhelming into smaller pieces?

SPEAKER_00 7:11

Yeah, I've always had mentors. Uh, during graduate school, I had wonderful mentors, but there's only so much that they can do. Like at the end of the day, I'm the one who has to execute the plan. The mentor can tell me what are the small pieces, how to break it up, but I need to be the one to do it. So, yeah, I mean, of course, I had mentors all throughout my career in education.

SPEAKER_01 7:34

Yeah, I think that's so powerful. Now, you mentioned that changing your story really impacted your path, which led you to writing your first book, The Smart Way, um, to your PhD. And that book has sold over 30,000 copies. Can you talk a little about the inspiration that brought you to writing that book?

SPEAKER_00 7:52

Yeah, what I realized was that a lot of people are stuck in a PhD program sometimes for 10 years, more than 10 years, like really way past when they should be. And, you know, personally, when I was in graduate school and later as a postdoctoral fellow, I saw students say, okay, next year I'm gonna graduate. Then at the end of every year, it was like next year and next year. And I thought about, you know, why is this the case? These are intelligent people, they have good mentors. Why, why are they stuck in school? And it occurred to me that that they don't have a plan really, that they just kind of go into it without really, it's it's very fuzzy. And the inspiration behind the book was that if you have a plan, you know, just a couple of pieces, a couple of structural elements, you can really speed up the process, you can communicate better with your advisor, and you can prevent a lot of the mistakes that keep people stuck in school for a long time.

SPEAKER_01 8:48

Oh, I think that's so powerful. And essentially what you created was a resource that may have been very helpful to yourself. So you need to kind of reach back and forward to those that are, you know, coming up. Um, you were open in our conversation, you know, before this call about mental health challenges that you had, you know, during the process of getting your PhD. How did that vulnerability shape the book?

SPEAKER_00 9:13

Yeah, that's a great question. So when the book was published in 2009, they didn't really talk much about mental health challenges in graduate school. That has since changed. But while researching the book, I discovered that about one in four graduate students report having mental health challenges. And those are just the ones who report it. Right. The ones who experience it is probably much higher. So by being vulnerable about this, it helps students feel um more open about it, more like they were not alone, and it helped them to get help for the situations they were in.

SPEAKER_01 9:53

Yeah, and I think that speaks to um a much bigger impact that you've had overall. Cause while it's one thing to have some sort of guide to help you successfully make your way through your PhD and to have that accomplishment, I think it's a whole other thing to do that mentally taken care of. And so to have both and to have a resource that like kind of helps you feel seen and heard and maybe gives you um the courage or the motivation to speak out or to acknowledge some of those mental health challenges is really powerful. And um I think it's a really cool thing that the book has been able to give back to that community.

SPEAKER_00 10:30

Yeah, thank you.

SPEAKER_01 10:32

Absolutely. So, what did that experience teach you about trusting your intuition over, say, like external formulas?

SPEAKER_00 10:42

Yeah, what that taught me is to really go with my gut feeling. I mean, it's not something that I was taught because I do come from science and engineering, which is a very logical field. Everything has to be proven, you need proof for everything. And it didn't seem logical for me after finishing my PhD in science and engineering to then embark in writing a book. And actually, I started writing the book when I was pregnant with my first child. So, you know, there's like a lot going on, right? Actually, most of my book, uh, so it was published when my uh yeah, my when my younger daughter was like two years old. Like I was writing the book during my busiest time as a mom, which seems very counterintuitive. But actually, it was a really good time to write it because I found little spots during the day and I wrote it. But that's what taught me to go with my intuition. Like it seemed like the worst time, but it actually ended up being a good time to write it.

SPEAKER_03 11:43

Well, let me uh let me uh something that kind of came about when you were talking here is that I so from my working with you, you've you're very open to helping others, right? As uh I mean you've you're always uh great about you know offering your your assistance to others, but when you're going through your PhD at the time. I I I wondered, did you did you well going back and reflecting, did you find that there was a cultural challenge where you know you're in a very competitive, you know, one of the best schools in the country, science, you know, everyone's just kind of like just work through it, you know. It's uh it's a you know, we're all hard. It's uh so do you find I mean you maybe things have changed, but did you looking back, do you think that was there a cultural element that maybe um people who listen to this might say uh we need a change here?

SPEAKER_00 12:31

Yeah, definitely. So when I had my consulting business uh around helping people finish their PhDs, I would go to these networking events and I would tell them what I was what I was doing, and they said, Well, if you need help to get through your some people said, if you need help to get through your PhD, you shouldn't be doing your PhD. Like that was that's like an old school mindset that you should be able to get through it without any help. And if you can't, then that's not the right path for you. Interesting. And even though nobody said those words to me when I was going through graduate school, I think that there's just that cultural expectation that all of a sudden you go from undergraduate where everything is really structured for you, to a graduate program where you're completely independent. Like there's almost like you set your own schedule and you're expected to come up with a completely original research topic. So it's definitely uh a big jump. But I think since then a lot has changed and there's a lot more support and structure for students.

SPEAKER_01 13:36

That's good. And I'm glad that you know, that's the impression that it's it's evolving, I hope, you know, over time. And you know, Brian, you mentioned the book that you're reading about embracing fear, accepting fear, or something like that. And um it it's makes me think about like listening to your intuition. And while it's something that uh, you know, we have all of us, it's something that I think a lot of people dismiss. And so I'm curious why you think so many people dismiss their intuition.

SPEAKER_00 14:09

I think we've been taught to focus on logic. Like our entire education is all built around logic, like this is what we have proof for. Uh, but what's interesting is when I go to book readings for my books and I talk about intuition and I share some intuitive experiences, especially as a parent. And I ask, okay, who else had intuitive insights about their kids, about when they needed to go to the doctor or about their pets? And you know, everybody raises their hand because most parents or pet owners, they just know when they need to take their child or pet to the doctor. Like, so those are really good examples of intuitive insights where people actually listen because someone we love needs help.

SPEAKER_01 14:54

That's so interesting. And I think it's so applicable in the sense that it's often so much easier for us to do something for someone else, especially someone we care so much about, yeah, yeah, not for yourself. Um, so you've talked a bit about, you know, rewriting your story and storytelling. How do intuition and storytelling intersect for you?

SPEAKER_00 15:15

Yeah, that's that's a great question. I think what they have in common is that they're both self-referential. And I'm gonna explain what I mean by that. So my my my two books, my two novels, they were written intuitively. So when I sat down to write them, I only had a very vague idea of what the plot was, what the tension was. I actually took a writing course on how to write intuitively. And I just started writing it and I didn't know what was gonna happen. I didn't know what was gonna happen more than two sentences ahead. I just it it basically the book was written as I was writing it. Um, or when I went out on walks and had intuitive insights. But um, and so the storytelling, when you tell your own stories, you want to be self-referential. You don't want to emulate somebody else, you don't want to write like somebody else, you don't want to sound like somebody else. You you can find your own voice by just writing and telling your story. So that's that's where the two intersect, and they both come from you.

SPEAKER_03 16:15

On the I was thinking about the intuition thing, and and and I just um you know, the intuitive part of it, you know, you you can because you come from a uh an engineering or or sorry, a science background, and there's it's logic. And I just thought um there's interesting that there's a the a famous chess player, Magnus Carlson, he's one of the best chair chess players in the world, and and and when when asked about how he plays chess, he has an intuition about which movie's gonna make. And he and he goes, Yeah, he knows that's right, but then he goes back and he does go through the logic. The logic kind of gets in the way. He knows all the rules of chess, and then he and then uses his logic to verify his intuition. And and you're talking about in intuition, and I think in a almost a different way I've never even heard it talk about. Like you're intuitively writing, you're just going with the flow. Like, are you in like a flow state? You're kind of like just following your, you know, following your own journey as you're creating it in your head. Is that that's a that's a different way I've heard uh I haven't heard it described that way before. That's interesting.

SPEAKER_00 17:19

Yeah, yeah, it is. Um, I mean, when I write a story, I literally make it up as I write it, but there's usually a theme. So I I mean I don't just write random things. Like there's like a lot of journaling exercises where you do a brain dump. That's that's not what I do. So there's there's some kind of theme. So, for example, when I wrote Choice, I knew going into the book that it was gonna be about a single mom who fights against all odds to keep her only child, going going through a divorce, a custody battle. And I knew that I was gonna talk about that. We all have the power to choose our focus. We can either focus on our fears or focus on what we love to create. So I knew those things. And then, and then I just started writing. So I was focusing on that theme, but I was and I asked myself, okay, what's the next step? What's the next step? And I was just listening. Oh, yeah, that's what's gonna happen. That's what's gonna happen. So that's kind of how it evolved. And many times it sounded absolutely crazy to me. That's the other thing about intuition, because I wrote the entire draft and then something felt off. And then it and then I heard a voice say, Well, half the point of view has to be from the service dog of the main character. I'm like, oh my God, I have to rewrite this whole thing. And that the service dog's point of view was what gave the story flavor, because that's not something you find in a lot of books. So half the book is every other chapter is written from the service dog's point of view. And it was just like something that came to me, and it's uh people people love the service dog. Just love her voice. She's very sassy, the generally sassy. So that's what gives it flavor.

SPEAKER_01 18:56

Oh, that's fantastic. And I I think that's so interesting to the concept. I guess I made assumptions about authors and how there's always this like plan, or they all they already know the ending or something. And so this idea that you're just kind of letting it be flowy and so authentic is so cool that you're able to do that. Um so I want to shift for a moment to to talk about your work at Connect e-commerce because you helped them shift the company's story from a data syncing tool to a human founder narrative. Right. Right. Can you talk a little bit about that and why that shift mattered or was so important?

SPEAKER_00 19:37

Yeah, yeah. I'd be happy to talk about that. So, our founder, uh Joe Anderson, he founded the company in 2010 and it was a data syncing tool between QuickBooks and e-commerce marketplaces. And at the time, I think we were the only solution for certain use cases. So, really, all we had to do was have a listing on an app store, and people came to us because there wasn't much else. But over time, I joined the company in 2020. Um, over time, there were competitors, and it was much more difficult to stand out in the market. We all sounded the same. Oh, yes, our software can do this, our software can do that better, but that's not really a good enough differentiator that you can do something a little bit better. And so when I started working with Joe, I heard him talk about the fact that he started his business with a$20 investment. Like, oh yeah, I still have the deposit slip from the bank, right?$20. And he grew it into a multi-million dollar business. And he has a very interesting personal story about how he didn't have venture capital, he just had a corded phone that he picked up, you know. Um, and I said, you know, you really need to put this into a book. Like, how did you actually go from$20 to multi-million? Because we hear these success stories, but nobody talks about how you actually did it. So um, so I helped him to write a book. He wrote down his ideas, I structured it into seven different chapters. So he published uh his first book, The$20 SaaS Company, a couple of years ago. And it really shows that our company has a mission. It's not just about syncing data, it's about freeing people from the pain of manual data entry. And it also helps people to distinguish what can a machine do and what does a human need to do, which is really important in the age of AI. So we're very aware of these social situations, and that's what that's what makes our company much more human and relatable.

SPEAKER_01 21:37

Yeah, and I would assume that you know is helpful in building trust and authenticity with you know the people that you're trying to reach as well. So if you were to, you know, broaden this concept for those that are listening in, um, can you speak to how storytelling works especially well in the B2B space?

SPEAKER_00 21:58

Yeah, yeah. Really humanizes the conversation. So whenever I go into a conversation with someone, I'm in business development, I always want to learn a little bit about them. Like, where are you calling from? I do a little bit of reading about them up front because we're all human. We all have families, we all have situations. And when you tell a relatable story, then people are much more likely to be engaged with you in the conversation. Because if you just tell them the lesson, it just goes in one ear, out the other. They can't, they can't relate to it. But when you tell it through a story, that's comp that's gonna land because that's how our brains are built. Like we are we engage with stories, and so we're gonna remember it.

SPEAKER_01 22:42

No, absolutely. And I've read you know a lot lately about you know, this was very common in B2C and not as common in B2B in the past. And so there's a lot of information coming out now about how B2B really needs to adopt this and and how B2B is adopting it because of that. Because at the end of the day, even in a B2B environment, the consumer is still a person, and people want to buy from people, they want to connect with people. And I imagine the deeper we go into the world of AI, the more people are going to crave that human connection. And therefore, I I assume the storytelling component is going to be, you know, only more important moving forward.

SPEAKER_00 23:24

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 23:26

So I'm curious, how do you think leaders can use storytelling to help build culture and connection, you know, within their company?

SPEAKER_00 23:33

I think that stories are a great way to bring teams together. So, for example, if you have a team-building meeting, if you're just focused on, oh, this is the project we need to get done, let's do A, B, and C, people will contribute, but they're not really that engaged. But if you tell a story you can share with your team, this is where I'm coming from. For example, Joe always shares that his mom was in data, manual data entry for decades, and how that impacted his life, and that makes his story very memorable. And employees want to know where where is the leader coming from? What's his motivation? What's his why? And when you tell a story, then people understand your why, and that's when they're going to be much more engaged in the project, they're gonna go the extra mile, they're gonna get more creative. That's the other thing. It unlocks creativity. So I think storytelling is a great way to get everybody on the same page and focused on the same mission.

SPEAKER_01 24:33

I think you know, something that you mentioned here is you know, explaining the why. And so I think it's also important for leaders to know their why and explore that a bit, you know, and and that may be, you know, a good first step into kind of figuring out what that story would be to share. Brian, I feel like that's something you do well here at Ayuvo as well.

SPEAKER_03 24:55

Yeah, it really resonated with me what you said is around I think if you have a why and you like like some like Joe, share if you share your why, I think it empowers people saying, uh I I I like that why. I want to be part of that why, I want to do something. And you know, the why the why is typically bigger than we wanna, you know, or we want to sell more uh sinking data. Whether like we want to, we want to empower, we want to help people in some way, whatever, whatever may be, whatever the why is, I think that's gets people on board. And I and everyone's swimming in the same direction, but feeling good about it. I think that's so I think that's very powerful what you said.

SPEAKER_01 25:33

Have you ever experienced leaders that you've worked with maybe finding that level of vulnerability um uncomfortable as far as you know being afraid or just uncomfortable to share their story or their why? You know, you're speaking about Joe and sharing, you know, personal information about his family. And, you know, do you think that's a a block for some people, or do you find that it's just something that comes easily enough once they know that that's like something that can be beneficial within the company?

SPEAKER_00 26:03

Oh, I think it's very scary to be vulnerable. Uh you know, people don't want to get emotional in front of an audience. Yeah. So I do think that it's very scary. And also people are not really sure what does vulnerability mean? How much do I need to share? Like, you know, there's a spectrum. How much so with vulnerability, my take on it is that you only need to share as much as is necessary for the audience. You don't need to share all the details, but just opening up a little bit about what you went through, that you're also human, that you had these challenges is often enough. So I think that the reason a lot of leaders are not vulnerable is well, first, they may not even know that that's useful. Right. Second, they don't know how much to share. And third, I mean, it is hard. It is hard to be vulnerable in front of an audience. But if you are able to do that, that's actually gonna break through a lot of the barriers. I I think that's the best icebreaker is vulnerability.

SPEAKER_01 27:04

For listeners who may be thinking that intuition sounds too abstract. How can they access their intuition practically?

SPEAKER_00 27:15

It's actually not as difficult as it sounds because we all have it. We all have intuitive insights, just some people are more in tune with it, they hear it more. But I think we've all heard stories about people getting ideas in the shower. It's because we usually don't do work there. Yeah. Like we're we're we're tuned out. So when we step away from our computer, there's a part of our brain that is still working through that problem. And there are other parts of our brain that become more active. And so when we go out on a walk or do something else, there are ideas that are connected in our minds. And that's how we come up with intuitive insights. So I think that for listeners, if you go on a walk, if you go on a run, if you go to a dance class, just go outside away from your computer. I think you'll find that you will get intuitive insights about something. It may not be what you're looking for necessarily in that moment, but you will you will get something.

SPEAKER_03 28:11

Yeah, it sounds like it's also this is Jeff, we had a podcast earlier, and there's some such similarities in this where we're where life right is so busy all the time, and you're go, go, go, and and you know, and and being um, you know, looking at your history door, you you do you get stuff done, right? And there's always that, but taking that time to go for a walk, taking that time to maybe take an extra long shower. A shower is my my that's my super spot right there. Like I'm always like, oh yes, this is what I need to do. So those those moments to to quiet your mind a little bit and maybe things come come to you easier or helps it would help the audience here, I think. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 28:53

Yeah, it's definitely something I find I've struggled with um trying to force myself to take that step back and to walk away. But my husband and I recently got a puppy and it's forcing that on me to have raising to go outside. And it's it's been so helpful, just the fresh air alone on such a consistent basis. I think, especially working from home, working on a computer, there's easily could be a day where I hadn't stepped outside to gotten fresh air in the winter. Um, so I think that's so true. So you've talked about, you know, moments of stillness and creative play. Um, and it kind of speaks to what you were talking about, Brian. And why are those you know so powerful?

SPEAKER_00 29:35

Those moments of stillness are really powerful because that's when we can hear our insights. If we're always go, go, go, then there isn't really space for anything new. We're just going through our to-do list, just checking things off. So, where is there room for creativity? There isn't. And what I find is that when I do take a break from my computer, I usually find a shortcut. Like that, that's what's interesting. Like it almost feels like I have more hours in the day when I take the time off because I just get more done. I don't know how it works exactly, but like I find like I'm I'm trying to get to an end result. I'm not trying to just go through a to-do list. I'm trying to achieve something. I want to write my speech, I want to submit this proposal, etc. And when I go on a walk and I get an idea, I'm like, oh, okay, I can just do it this way. And it's like a shortcut. So that's how it can actually save us time.

SPEAKER_01 30:29

And when we speak about creative play for adults, what does that actually mean?

SPEAKER_00 30:34

I think it's very uh person-dependent. So for some people, it's very physical, like they want to go out and dance. Uh, some people like to paint or play cards, games. So it's, I think we all have an answer. Like, if you ask yourself, what is creative play for me, you'll get an answer. Like, you know, like that's what I meant by being self-referential. Like you ask yourself, and most likely you'll come up with a memory from when you were eight. Yeah. Like whatever you like to do as a child is probably something you'd enjoy now.

SPEAKER_03 31:06

Well, and and Dora, I know that we we spoke in the past that you, one of your, you mentioned uh one of your creative play is painting.

SPEAKER_02 31:14

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 31:15

Right? So I can imagine so you know, uh, do you find do you find uh getting invlost in a in painting, does that do you get those intuitions during that time, or are you focused on painting that thing you're doing? Is it or are they are they singular or does it does that open your mind?

SPEAKER_00 31:32

It definitely opens my mind. Yeah, I think I wrote an article once about feeling really stuck in the book that I'm writing right now. Like I just felt like it's a dead end, like this book isn't going anywhere. And then my intuition told me to start painting like a pink lily or something like that. And so I I found a tutorial and started painting. And as I was painting, you know, it's kind of repetitive. It's not very, it doesn't really require that much painting. Well, it depends on the kind of painting you do, but what I was doing was a bit repetitive. And as I was painting, I got these ideas of how to continue the story, and I was able to continue it. And in my article, I wrote that I was writing the book without being in front of the computer. I was just writing it in my head and getting these ideas, and now I'm almost done with it. So it's it really just helped to dislodge this block, the painting. So that was great.

SPEAKER_01 32:24

That is, and that's exciting to hear that you're almost finished with it. So congrats on that progress. It's interesting to me talking about, you know, creative play. Um, I in my past life I was an early education teacher, and so there was science behind the need to involve play with early childhood education. And unfortunately, it's something that you really lose as you go along in the educational system. And then as we become adults, life gets really serious and we, you know, lean more into that logic and less into the intuition, less into play and creativity. Um, with your background, I'd love for you to speak to that science behind all of you know what you're talking about when it comes to intuition.

SPEAKER_00 33:06

Yeah, I think when we go out and play, whatever that means for us, whether it's painting, whether it's playing a sport, whether it's playing with our kids or our dog, it's basically just a way for us to have unstructured time and give space to those ideas to congeal in our brains. So it's it's just a way for us to practice creativity. And it's unfortunately something that a lot of people lose as they go through life. Right. But but it's always there. And what I find most amazing is that you don't need a lot of it. Like you really only need a little bit. For example, if you do 15 minutes of something that you really love, like that can actually dislodge those creative blocks. So you don't have to feel like, oh, and now I need to commit to this painting class for hours every week. It's I think I was only painting for about 15 minutes when I had an idea of what to write in my book. So it's just a little bit really makes a difference.

SPEAKER_03 34:03

So, Jess, I think we we all need to go have a recess, right? You know, like like in school.

SPEAKER_01 34:09

Yes, absolutely. I'm gonna write that into our journey at Ayuvo. Everybody has recess. So, Dora, you have your PhD in bioengineering. Can you dive into the science behind intuition and just kind of demystify that for us a little bit?

SPEAKER_00 34:26

Yeah, it goes back to what I was saying before about when you take a break, when you stop focusing on what's in front of you, then there's a part of your brain called the default mode network that becomes more active. And this part of your brain can help you to connect the dots where other where normally, logically, those dots wouldn't have been connected. So, for example, um, going back to my PhD, I had these conflicting data sets. Well, how do I put that into my dissertation? And then I had this idea. Well, if I look at the different experimental conditions, then that will explain why the data didn't match up. But I didn't get that idea while I was just staring at the data. But when I stepped away, I went on a walk. I remember looking at the trees. I was writing my dissertation in the spring. It was, we had some beautiful days here in Boston. And I remember I connected those dots because that part of my brain, the default mode network, started coming up with these ideas. And there is scientific proof for what that part of the brain can do.

SPEAKER_01 35:32

I think that's powerful to know that you know, this is so much more than something that's like nice to talk about. Like there's actually behind it that backs and supports, you know, what you're talking about here. So, how do you think leaders then can model intuitive decision making within their companies?

SPEAKER_00 35:50

I think it's really important for leaders to not just react, but to really take space to respond to whatever is happening around them. Um, for example, I know a lot of leaders when they're faced with a crisis type of situation, they go on a walk. They they go on a walk and they allow the answers to come to them because when there's a crisis, you feel very emotional. There's a lot of information, a lot of things coming at you. And in that moment, it's it's very difficult to make a decision. So most likely you'd make a decision from the logical part of your brain, but you're actually missing a lot of the information. But when you go on a walk, you're allowing all of those ideas to congeal and you're using the different parts of your brain so you can come up with an idea that will address all those concerns. And I've I actually do know of leaders who were able to resolve very difficult problems just when they were going on walks. It's I think Charles Darwin, for example, he got his ideas when going on walks. So that's very cool. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 36:57

Yeah, I I've heard I've heard I've heard Steve Jobs very similarly. Like we gotta go for walks with people or go walks or you know, and and to think about that. I I I actually similar, I'm I'm not gonna um compare myself to some of these great inventors, but I but I I will find I uh often tell myself after I go for a walk, I should do that more often. And you know, like and because because of you know, whatever it does to my brain or even just blood flowing through your system uh walking, uh I used to see a lot of people walking and it I didn't quite understand it until I started experien experiencing it. So yeah, I look through my window and everybody's walking, and now I know it's a it's it's a great thing to do.

SPEAKER_00 37:40

Yeah, and I think there are stories of great leaders like Bill Gates, who takes two weeks off just to think. So yeah, so there are a lot of examples of leaders who just take that space to think, and that's how they come up with these intuitive insights and ideas.

SPEAKER_01 37:56

Yeah, it makes me think about the culture of a company and how important it would be for you know a company to have such a strong culture in order to support employees being able to make intuitive decisions. Yeah. Because you need a culture that's going to support you saying, I'm recognizing that I've hit a wall or that I need to take a break and take a step back and go for a walk or do whatever it is that you know feeds that, you know, creativity for them individually. Um, and that also requires trust and empowerment. And so, Brian, I know that's something that you're really passionate about. I'd love to hear, you know, your thoughts around that.

SPEAKER_03 38:33

Yeah, well, you you kind of said it all well, very well that yourself there. But I think you, if you as a as a as a leader, if you trust your people to do the right things and know, like, hey, you know what, they need to go for a walk, or maybe they want to take their dog for a walk, or maybe they just sometimes um we have this funny phrase at at Ayuvo. Um somebody says, I've got potato brain, I gotta go for, I gotta go for a walk, or I gotta do whatever, right? And they realize that they're where however they are right now, they're just not being productive. And so they, you know, it's I think it's funny. They don't even have to tell us they're doing it. I I love, you know, I just picture these potatoes growing out of their brain. So um, but yeah, but I think you have to have a culture that says that's okay, and that you're not like um that people are we only have so much capacity, and you'll do your best work if you feel like A, I'm supported, and B, I can I can find that space that's gonna allow me to do my best work. And it may not be at the time that's good for everybody else, but you know, so I think uh I'm just elaborating what you said, Jess. You said it, you said it very succinctly, and that's uh I like that.

SPEAKER_01 39:40

Thanks, Ryan. So, Doris, something that you know I talk a lot about um is imposter syndrome. And I'm curious to get your thoughts on how storytelling can actually help reduce imposter syndrome.

SPEAKER_00 39:54

Yeah, that's uh that's a great question. And I think that when leaders tell stories, then they need to be at least a little bit vulnerable, right? Like when you tell a story. And when you're vulnerable, it helps other people to open up as well and to share as well. And when they do that, then you realize that we're all in the same boat here. We all have our insecurities. Many times we feel like we're not good enough, that we're not doing as well as we could. So then the imposter syndrome kind of becomes like a moot point because, like, if we all feel like we're not, we don't belong here, then we all belong here, right? So just by people opening up to each other, it it definitely reduces that imposter syndrome that many of us feel.

SPEAKER_01 40:37

Definitely. And I I will say an impact you've had on me already, you know, when we chatted first and you mentioned that that statement of, you know, you change your story, you change your life. It really resonated with me in this. I think sometimes, you know, it's easy to have a feeling, you know, and and you're not even naming the feeling. It's like this uncomfortable feeling in your body. Or, and then, you know, I found that with that statement, I'm almost able to pause and ask myself, like, what is the story I'm telling myself in this moment? And when I acknowledge it and I see it, then I feel like I'm empowered to rewrite it and to look at it more clearly. So, you know, that is one way that just, you know, talking with you has helped me with imposter syndrome is just kind of reframing the way I look at it through the storylines.

SPEAKER_00 41:28

Yeah, that's incredible. In fact, just being aware of the story that you tell yourself is already very empowering, even before you rewrite it. So I'm really glad that was helpful. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 41:38

And knowing uh both of you a little bit, I I see such similarities about, I mean, Jess, you were a a uh a teacher. You teach, you know, and and you bec you had a passion for marketing, came to marketing, you know, Dora, you were in biomedical engineering and you were, you know, and and now you're uh you know leading an e-commerce team and writing books, and I get and part of uh of telling yourself stories is you're creating your stories, right? You're you're literally writing the next chapter of your of your life, right? So so it's amazing.

SPEAKER_01 42:13

Yeah, there's so many different paths, and just because you've you know started on one path doesn't mean there's not other paths available to you as you go along. So, Doris, you're you're currently writing the third book, as you mentioned in your trilogy. And what are you personally discovering about intuition and narrative right now?

SPEAKER_00 42:31

Yeah, so it's interesting because after each book that I wrote, so I published three, and after each one, I felt like I don't have another book in me. Like I did, I'm just out of ideas. There isn't another book in me. And what I'm discovering now is that there's always more. We we always have more to share. And as I'm writing this book, like there's more stories, more lessons that are coming out. And because I'm writing it intuitively, I didn't know I was gonna share that when I was beginning to write the book. So that's really what I want listeners to walk away with is that there are more, always more stories inside of us that we can share.

SPEAKER_01 43:07

Oh, I love that. I feel like that would have been a line I would have loved to use in the classroom too. That's a very powerful line for learners at any level, I feel. So if there's someone listening or watching right now that feels stuck in a story about themselves, what's one small shift you feel they could make?

SPEAKER_00 43:26

I think identifying the story, like you've said before, really thinking about where am I stuck? What is the story that I'm telling myself, and then making a small shift, such as I can go from A to B today, or I can always find people to support me, or I can find the time, something like that, that's really a small shift, I think is really critical because it's it's very difficult to make like a 180 shift, right? Like that's that's not gonna happen. But if you're able to shift your trajectory by one degree, then Then over a long period of time, you're gonna be on a completely different path. And I think when people realize that you just have to make these tiny shifts, then it's easier to implement those changes.

SPEAKER_03 44:11

I wanted to bring up something uh that I recently learned about Dora that I'm so fascinated by. And uh so um I've I met Dora. Um we go to the same gym, and then we also happen to be in the same Toastmasters where where where we give speeches and we practice our oration and so forth. And and uh Dora is uh currently in the third level of a competition right now to be uh so she's won twice now, and so she's going to matter in fact, I think it's tomorrow, right? Tomorrow you guys competing again. And so one one one of the reasons when we're talking about this, but one super superpower Dora really has is she really tells stories very well. And and I'm uh frankly, I was a little jealous because she does not only does this, but she memorizes these things. And I'm always and I I I try to speak and I'm like, and I and I and I get down to like three or four bullets, and I'm always thinking I'm gonna forget this thing, and I realize nobody's gonna know if I forgot this, but that's okay. But it's very apparent that that you're telling a story, and it seems like you're just it's very eloquent. And I know that you do in Toastmasters, you do a lot of work to prepare to make it look like this happens. But what I recently learned from one of your posts is that you are in memory competitions.

SPEAKER_00 45:33

Yes, yes, it's true.

SPEAKER_03 45:36

And you uh so tell me about like how that's a journey that I've I'm fascinated by.

SPEAKER_00 45:41

Yes, yes, I I'd be happy to. Um, so actually, I I started that journey because my memory started slipping after I turned 40. I mean, let's, you know, most people experience this little slips here, little slips there. It got kind of bad for me where I left a bag of groceries in the car overnight. I think that was my breaking point. Like, like, you know, I can't do this anymore. Like, I have to find a solution. And my intuition somehow led me to um these memory experts who have courses on how to improve your memory. And at first I was just like, okay, I'm just gonna do these. They're like mnemonic techniques where like you do things around the house so that you remember where your keys are and reminders. So it started I just by like, I just want to get through my to-do list. I was a single parent, and I just want to be able to get through my day without dropping too many balls. Like, that's literally how it started. But the people who wrote these books were actually memory champions. And I'm like, oh my God, like, how do they do these things? And I don't know how exactly I started to compete, but I'm like, okay, I'm just gonna give it a shot because it sounds fun. And so when you memorize anything, um, like digits of pi, which you know, I can memorize hundreds of digits of pi, um, it's actually not, I don't memorize the digits, it's actually I convert it into images. Like you learn how to convert anything into images, and so it trains your creative powers, like your your creative imagery. So the these memory competitions is all about how quickly you can translate information into a story, actually, into a story in your mind.

SPEAKER_01 47:30

Oh, wow. Yeah. That's fascinating. And now I want to try it.

SPEAKER_00 47:35

Yeah, no, I was actually thinking about holding workshops on this because like it's actually really fun. It's it's it's it's so fun. And sometimes people retire from these competitions and they're like, but I really miss it. Like, you know, so it's just a very cool thing.

SPEAKER_03 47:52

I mean, I thought for our listeners, you know, you they're talking about techniques and the science of intuition and storytelling and then memory, and they're they're all they're all tied together uh in this the way you've constructed this. And uh I think uh, you know, our our listeners can can take a lot from this conversation of how just yeah, anyway, just take one of those components uh and and you'll be I think you'll be better off.

SPEAKER_00 48:17

Yeah, I mean just this morning actually I had a it's an online competition. So just this morning I had one and it's it's just like a lot of fun, like it's just kind of fun, fun way to something fun to do during the day, I guess.

SPEAKER_01 48:30

It's yeah, so that's awesome. Fun, but also functional, right? Like it's yeah, a very important muscle.

SPEAKER_00 48:38

Yeah, it is it is like exercise for your brain. So when I don't do it, I it's the same feeling as when I don't go to the gym. It really, it really does feel the same way. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 48:49

Yeah. And I I feel like you could argue it's just as important to make sure you're exercising your mind as it is exercising your body. Yeah.

unknown 48:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 48:58

Again, especially with AI automating everything and almost thinking for us on so many levels. You know, having the ability to purposefully set aside time to exercise your brain, I think is so important.

SPEAKER_00 49:11

Yeah, my kids who are 18 and 20, they really stay away from AI because they're like, well, we don't want to outsource our thinking. And I'm really proud of them for saying that because it, you know, I think there have been studies that show that people who use AI a lot, parts of their brain actually shrink. Like I think that they've they've seen that. Like uh, I've heard that from somebody who is a thought leader in AI right now. So yeah, it's it is really important to not get too much help.

SPEAKER_01 49:39

So, Dora, we do have a question for you to end our segment here. And since you are a first-time guest and hopefully you will be on the episodes, we would love for you to share a fun fact about you that might surprise people.

SPEAKER_00 49:54

Yeah, so one fun fact is that by the time I was 11, I had gone to school in three different countries and had to learn in three different languages. Wow. So I was born in Hungary, but when I was one, we went to Mexico for five years. So I went to preschool there until I was six. Then at six, we went back to Hungary. From six to eleven, I went to a Hungarian school. And then at 11, we went to New York. So I learned in Spanish, English, and Hungarian, these three languages. Um, so it's definitely made me aware of other cultures and other people, and I think that's what fueled my curiosity because these three countries are very, very different culturally. And when I lived in Hungary, it was still communist. So going from communist Hungary to the US was definitely like a big shift, and they're both very different from Mexico.

SPEAKER_01 50:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 50:53

That's what uh and actually the Mexican experience was the is the cultural setting for my novels. True. Yeah, absolutely. Um, but yeah, this experience is what made me very curious about people and different cultures. I love that.

SPEAKER_03 51:09

Yeah, that's awesome. That's yeah, yeah. Well, Dora, this this conversation has been both practical and empowering. I know there are listeners out there who want to explore your books and and work more deeply. So, where can people connect with you the best? Find your books or learn more about your work?

SPEAKER_00 51:29

Dorafarkas.com, just my name.com.

SPEAKER_03 51:32

That's simple. Awesome. We'll we'll put that in the show notes. So if anybody's looking at the notes, we will uh find a great way to find you. That's perfect.

SPEAKER_01 51:41

Yes, we will link that as well as information about your books um in the show notes too. So today's conversation reminds us that the stories we carry are powerful, but they're not permanent. And intuition isn't mystical or reserved for a few. It's accessible in everyday moments of stillness and creativity. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe, share it with someone who needs to hear it, and visit ivotech.com for more conversations at the intersection of leadership, culture, and growth.

SPEAKER_03 52:10

And whether you're leading a company, navigating a career pivot, or questioning the story you've been telling yourself, remember alignment starts internally. And thanks for listening. And until next time, stay curious.

SPEAKER_00 52:24

Thank you very much for having me.

SPEAKER_01 52:26

Thank you for tuning in to the edge of excellence. We hope today's insights empower you to shape your future and rise to your full potential. Let's continue to grow, innovate, and lead, pushing the boundaries of excellence.