Episode 31: Life and Limb - Evan Baughfman

What if happiness could be guaranteed with a single bite? We read Evan Boffman’s Life and Limb, a desert horror tale where a determined runner named Rafe—rebuilding his life with a carbon fiber blade—meets a towering, talkative saguaro that offers permanent euphoria and relief from thirst. The Sonoran heat blurs into myth as rattlesnakes block the trail, cholla cling with wicked barbs, and coyotes circle with quiet precision. Through it all, the cactus speaks in a calm baritone, holding out a pink fruit that promises bliss without burden.

Thank you To Evan Baughfman for the permission to share this story on Connor Reads Books

Content Warnings: 

Harsh language

Mystical Cactus

Animal Attacks

Mauls of the Wild:

• https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/mauls-of-the-wild-evan-baughfman/1148791503
• https://www.amazon.in/Mauls-Wild-Collection-Animal-Fiction-ebook/dp/B0G1XB1XN3
• https://thesummitbirmingham.com/buy/product/mauls-of-the-wild-a-collection-of-animal-attack-fiction-barnesnoble-32463c?model=0

Evan Baughfman:

• https://www.instagram.com/agent00evan_716/
• https://www.amazon.com/stores/Evan-Baughfman/author/B08BSQZ2X6?ref=ap_rdr&shoppingPortalEnabled=true&ccs_id=784d4a39-0061-4d3d-91fa-1d71c55fdd80
• https://newplayexchange.org/users/1708/evan-baughfman
• https://www.linkedin.com/in/evan-baughfman-62a1b4137/

Murderfish: 

Murderfish on Audible 

Voice Over, Mixing and Mastering Credits:

L. Connor Voice - Website

https://www.instagram.com/l.connorvoice/

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100095473899665

Music Credits: 

Louie Sanders, https://www.instagram.com/soundmonksound/

Transcript

Welcome And Content Advisory

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Well, howdy, listener. A lot of the things I like to read might not be suitable for all audiences, so please check out the episode notes and listen with care. Well, howdy, listener, and welcome back to another episode of Connor Reed's Books. Today we are doing a story read. We are reading Life and Limb, written by Evan Boffman. Now you might recognize that name. Uh two weeks ago, the last episode, we had an interview with Evan where we are talking about, you know, his writing experience, you know, if you're familiar with my author interviews. Uh, and he's also celebrating his new book, Malls of the Wild, which is a collection of like horror short stories that he has written. And Life and Limb is one of these stories. I got a chance to read the stories from Malls of the Wild. A lot of them were very fun, and I think that this one was one of my favorites, probably because I'm a local Arizonian and I also am a little bit of a botanist, so I really enjoy the sort of plant theme to this particular story. And check out the episode notes for links to that interview with Evan, and also, more importantly, perhaps, check out the links in the show notes for Evan's book Malls of the Wild. He's also featured in Murderfish, and I will attach some links to the book and the audiobook in the show notes as well. So go ahead and check out that work in the show notes and enjoy the rest of this episode. Life and Limb. Written by Evan Boffman. Even though the Arizona Sun did its best to wear him down, Rafe hardly slowed his pace. He ran along the Sonoran Desert Trail, between Brittlebush and Dockatillo, daring the heat to vanquish him. If he wanted to compete in the Boston Marathon again, his mind had to be stronger than his body. With the Mesa Phoenix qualifying race only a month away, Rafe needed to ensure that every step of every workout carried him closer to success. In the past, Rafe had been a machine. Nearly impervious to self-doubt and pain. His slim frame and competitive nature had made him a college cross-country and track star. After graduation, he'd earned medals in 5Ks, 10Ks, and more. Rafe always finished a foot race near the front of the crowd, no matter the distance. Now, a decade later, and after a car wreck, Rafe had a carbon fiber prosthesis secured below his left knee. Though he'd mostly gotten used to his adopted gait, he still had trouble with backaches brought on by an unfortunate bout with thirty-something itis. Rafe's C-shaped running blade often invited stares. So he trained out in the wild, away from other people. In the middle of the desert, there were no stoplights or bad drivers, no baking asphalt or noisy construction crews. There were awe-inspiring canyons and riverbeds, cacti and clear skies, vibrant scenes lifted from art gallery walls. There were rattlesnakes, too. The sun didn't give Rafe much pause, but the venomous serpent now lounging in the dirt directly ahead of him brought Rafe to a standstill. The snake, coiled in the center of the trail, shook its tail. It warned Rafe not to get any closer. Damn. Rafe hadn't planned to double back so soon, but he knew there was no safe way around the warning reptile. Rafe assured the serpent that he was leaving, and retreated a few steps. Once out of the snake's strike zone, he turned away from the animal, zooming back the way he'd come. Rafe knew that, about ten minutes ahead, the trail branched off into an alternate path, one he had explored a couple of times before. Two and a half minutes into his rattlesnake retreat, Rafe found himself approaching a massive Sawaro, the Columnar cactus standing six meters tall. A spiny arm bulged on either side of the plant, each appendage mimicking a bodybuilder's limb. Had the tree-like Titan been beside the trail when Rafe passed by before? How could he have possibly missed such a monster and ignored its impressive shade? Indeed, the cactus cast a generous shadow across the footpath, and Rafe chose to pause inside its gloom. If nature was offering him a respite from glaring daylight, he might as well take advantage of the opportunity. He pulled his hydration pack straw into his mouth. As Rafe gulped water, he studied a trio of empty cavities in the cactus's front. At one point, they had been home to woodpeckers or owls, but now they looked like the eyes and mouth of a malformed jack-o'-lantern. Above the eyes, a pair of smaller protuberances had begun to sprout from the Sawaro's flesh. They curved upward, away from the cactus's brow, resembling rising devilhorns. Suddenly, the plant reached for Wraith with one of its sidearms. He ducked the attempted grab, the straw falling from his jaws, cactus spines nearly scratching his skin. Had it been the wind? Had a gust bent the branch, giving it a sudden appearance of life? No breeze blew. The desert was perfectly still. The Sawaro swiped at Rafe again, its body creaking as it strained for its prey. Once more, Rafe dodged the attack. Dumbfounded, he stumbled away from the cactus, backpedaling in the opposite direction of the beast. The plant's roots extracted themselves from the earth, whipping around its base like tentacles. They turned the cactus counterclockwise, bringing Rafe face to face with its Halloween grin. Rafe ran. He sprinted down the trail, back toward the rattlesnake. He'd rather confront the reptile than this crazy cactus creature. Perhaps the snake wouldn't even be there anymore. Maybe it had already slithered off into the sand. Rafe's legs propelled him closer and closer to a definitive answer. His hamstrings screamed. His heart hammered, his sweat spilled. Hopefully he was putting real distance between himself and the sentient Sawaro. Hopefully its roots had given up and chosen a separate route. But on second thought, was Rafe even fleeing an actual entity? Could the cactus have been some kind of heat-stroke-induced illusion? Rafe did something that runners were never supposed to do. He looked over his shoulder to determine the proximity of his opponent. He was rewarded with a terrifying sight. The cactus was chasing him, gaining ground on its own pair of thunderous feet. The thing's roots had twisted into human-like legs, carrying the creature after Rafe, its lower extremities pumping as powerfully as pistons. Rafe yelped. If he didn't somehow channel the college kid competitor slumbering inside him, that bipedal nightmare would soon be hugging him tighter than an Iron Maiden. Rafe raced forward. He learned that his prosthesis was a piston too. And so was his will to win, his desire not to be shishkebobbed under a grueling sun. If he could lose the cactus somehow and find safety, then he could slow down and use his phone. He could call a friend or the Forest Service and try to explain what the hell was going on. Up ahead was where the rattler had rested. Thank God. It seemed to have moved on. But as Rafe approached the empty spot in the trail, he heard the snake's warning call. It hadn't gone far after all, just barely into the brush. But as Rafe approached the empty spot in the trail, he heard the snake's warning call. It hadn't gone far after all, just barely into the brush. Too late, Rafe noticed the camouflaged creature sitting there, within reach. It sprang for him. To miss the strike, Rafe contorted mid-stride. The snake missed its target. Rafe lost his balance. He tumbled off the footpath and end over-ended down a steep slope. He slammed to a stop in the middle of an unwelcoming patch of choya. More specifically, an unfriendly cluster of jumping choya, the desert's most vicious vegetation. This particular cactus species was known for its aggressively clingy, spiky bulbs. Once they got a hold of something, they refused to let go. Rafe groaned. Dozens of barbs pierced his skin, accentuating the agony brought on by blooming scrapes and bruises. Christ! His prosthis had broken free during the fall, and was now discarded in the dust, halfway up the incline. Rafe yanked himself away from the Choya, but a number of its bulbs detached as well, holding firm to his arms and neck like needy parasites. They dug deeper into his spasming muscles. Someone giggled. Was the Choya taunting him? Were auditory hallucinations symptoms of a concussion? The Sawaro appeared at the top of the crest. Fucking hell. Rafe screamed, Go! Leave me alone! Wincing, he forced himself onto his lone leg. He began to hop for his running plate. Behind him, the Choya said, Oh crap! The big dude. The giant gingerly began its descent. Stepping over rocks, lizards, and flowers. Rafe had zero chance of getting to his prosthesis before the monster Sawaro did. Stubborn as he was, he still tried. A frightened tarantula fled the moving cactus. The spider scurried in Rafe's direction. He hopped over the bug, but then slipped on a jutting stone and landed on his tailbone. The Sawaro stood beside his blade, examined it. That's mine! Rafe shrieked. Don't fucking touch it!

SPEAKER_01 9:53

I understand.

SPEAKER_00 9:55

The beast spoke from its lowermost orifice.

The Offer Of Endless Euphoria

SPEAKER_01 9:58

You have no reason to trust me. Its speech, unlike the Choyas, was a booming baritone. But I'll be gentler than my cousin.

SPEAKER_00 10:10

What the fuck are you? The Sawaro scooped the prosthesis up into its arms. It brought the limb to Rafe, who hurriedly secured the thing to his knee, despite every little movement exacerbating the Choyabarb pain. I've watched you, said the Sawaro.

SPEAKER_01 10:27

You've been here many times before. Don't worry, Raf said through gritted teeth. I won't be coming back. You're frightened. I'm sorry. Plants don't walk and talk. Because those spines have stuck to you, we're now connected through our suffering. And we can communicate. These needles hurt you too, huh? Sharp things don't tickle, human. For the time being, as long as you share in our pain. You, me, my cousin. Together, we are cactus.

SPEAKER_00 11:15

Uh don't want to be a cactus. Just want to be me. Raf glowered at the Choya. Asshole.

SPEAKER_01 11:22

The Sawaro turned to his cousin. Release him, but leave some spines behind.

SPEAKER_00 11:29

Yeah, whatever you want, big dude. The Choya was quick to reply. No problem. Yes, problem. Raf staggered to his feet. Leave zero spines behind. How about that?

SPEAKER_01 11:42

Then I'd have to give you some of mine, said the Sawaro. You don't want these. They're much larger.

SPEAKER_00 11:53

Rafe could see that was true. He moaned as the Choya bulbs retracted from his skin. All done, confirmed the Choya. Left him with three. The bulbs returned to their home base, jumping like kangaroo rats. Indeed, Raf's right elbow still stung. He asked the big dude, What's all this about? Why'd you come after me?

Choosing Effort Over Shortcuts

SPEAKER_01 12:16

The monster said, I want to make you an offer. I want to make you an offer. Give you my help. Help? It's in my nature to help others. My body's been home to a variety of animals over the years. It's provided shade, comfort, to countless passers-by. And then there's my fruit.

SPEAKER_00 12:44

What fruit? The Sawaro reached into one of its eye sockets and removed a bulbous pink orb. It doesn't sprout often, the cactus explained.

SPEAKER_01 12:56

I store whatever grows for safekeeping. Okay. Rafe didn't take the fruit. You look quite uncomfortable. Miserable, if I'm being honest.

SPEAKER_00 13:11

I just fell down a hill.

SPEAKER_01 13:14

Eat this, and it'll put you into a never-ending state of euphoria. Excuse you? Desert life's rough. How else do you think I manage to stay so cheery out here with spines extending from my flesh? Eat this fruit, and my happiness will pass on to you.

Coyotes Close In

SPEAKER_00 13:36

I don't need some kind of weird psychedelic drug to make me feel like listen, I'm not even unhappy, okay? The Sawaro gestured to the prosthesis.

SPEAKER_01 13:48

Weren't you just running away from something? Yeah, you. Before that. I run for fun. Humans run for fun? Some of us do. How is it fun? You grimace, breathe heavily, and sweat profusely.

SPEAKER_00 14:12

I don't expect a cactus to understand, but and it also gives me a little break from whatever difficulties I might be dealing with at a given time. Difficulty means unhappiness.

SPEAKER_01 14:23

The cactus offered the fruit again. You should eat, and also inherit my ability to survive the sun without much water.

Pokeman Rescues Rafe

SPEAKER_00 14:34

Speaking of water, Rafe was feeling faint. He drank from his hydration pack. Was this thing telling him the truth? If so, and he ate the fruit, he'd be close to his old self again, classic college Rafe, a guy with very few worries. Plus, if he didn't have to drink a lot of water and lug around a hydration pack every time he hit the trail, the future could be bright. Rafe could qualify for 50 Boston Marathons if he wanted to.

SPEAKER_01 15:01

The Sawaro added, I've helped someone like you before. A slightly younger human. This was in another place long ago. Where a different part of me was planted. I can regenerate from parts of myself that break away. The beast smiled. This slightly younger human called me Pokeman. Great name. He visited me after. Hey, Pokeman, he said. Thanks for choosing me. Rafe was silent for a while. Then Well, I don't need to be chosen.

SPEAKER_00 15:45

Don't need to be helped. I'm fine. But you said you have difficulties. A difficulty isn't necessarily a bad thing. Overcoming an obstacle makes you a better, stronger person. You don't build character by taking shortcuts, by taking handouts. You've got to put in the work. Pokemon was puzzled. You really don't want my assistance? Rafe shook his head. Losing this leg a few years ago taught me the importance of adapting to difficult situations. He stared at the fruit in Pokemon's grasp. Your offer's generous. Part of me wants to take it, but I I just can't.

SPEAKER_01 16:23

Frankly, I never thought a human would turn this down.

A Gift To Plant Elsewhere

SPEAKER_00 16:29

Every advantage I get in life, I want to earn through hard work, okay? Perseverance. It's taken me a while to get as comfortable as I am with all this. To truly get back on my feet. Rafe rapped against the prosthesis with his knuckles. This reminds me I can do anything, if I'm smart about it. If I'm honest about it.

SPEAKER_01 16:50

This is surely a surprise, isn't it, cousin?

Outro, Thanks, And Links

SPEAKER_00 16:55

Yeah, said the Choya. Not the choice I would make. Rafe replied. Being lucky, being in the right place at the right time? It doesn't sit well with me. I've got to earn all my happiness. Thanks, but no. He removed the final Choya spines, tossing them into the dirt. He then jogged back up to the trail, hearing the words of Cacti no more. Rafe made sure to enter the footpath away from where the rattlesnake had lain. He ran again. After making sure Pokemon wasn't following him, Rafe eased his pace. His adrenaline was fading. In truth, he felt horrible, bloody and beaten. The sun felt more like an enemy than it had before. He was still pretty far from his car. Could he even make it back to the vehicle on his own? Walking now, he took the phone from the hydration pack pocket. Fucking fantastic. The device was cracked. The screen wouldn't function. Something stepped onto the trail ahead. A coyote, followed by another, and another. All three animals yipped, only fifty meters away. Rafe stopped, groaned. Seriously? He knelt down and palmed the fist-sized rock. More yipping behind him. Two more coyotes, forty meters away in the other direction. Fuck off! Rafe hurled the stone at the encroaching pair. No coyotes were harmed in the making of that fastball. It sailed wide, skipping into the desert. Rafe roared. He cursed. He wildly pitched stones again and again. He even flung his phone. The entire pack remained, unflinching. Then, as one, the five hunters trotted toward their kill. Rafe veered off course, into soft sand. Christ, no, it was like running at the beach. He wasn't built for this, not anymore. He grew slower by the second. The coyotes glided over to him with ease. He shouted for help. The carnivores brought him down. One of them clamped onto his legs. One tore the prosthesis free. The third leapt onto Rafe's back, attempting to bite his shoulder. Instead, its teeth punctured the hydration pack. Water sprayed. The mini geyser burst startled the canines, preventing the final pair from darting for Rafe's throat. For a few moments, the confused quintet watched their crawling prey flee at a subtortous speed. Before they could resume their attack, Pokeman arrived, clutching nasty Choya bulbs. The Sawaro threw its cousins' bits. Thankfully, the cactus had better aim than Rafe. The Choya connected with a trio of coyote hindquarters. The wild dogs yelped. The other two snarled and snapped at Pokemon. The friendly monster pummeled one of them to the ground with an angry arm. The last coyote was punted across the sand with powerful roots. The entire pack scampered off, bellies empty, Choya holding strong. Thanks, Rafe squeaked. Pokemon brought the prosthesis over. Before Rafe could resecure his appendage, the cactus gripped his hand, stinging Rafe with sizable spines. Ow! Are you okay? Rafe stared at his pierced palm. Not a fan of this form of communication.

SPEAKER_01 20:16

Those animals, said Pokemon. Did they harm you? Mostly just hurt what was left of my ego.

SPEAKER_00 20:23

Thanks again.

SPEAKER_01 20:24

You're welcome.

SPEAKER_00 20:26

I'm here to help. The Sawaro held its fruit out to Rafe once more. Yes? Rafe gently pushed the gift away. I'm plenty happy with just being alive. Still have plenty of places I'd like to visit before I'm gone. He put on the prosthesis. Pokemon smiled.

SPEAKER_01 20:44

That sounds nice. Visiting places. Can I go too?

SPEAKER_00 20:49

Go how? The cactus removed one of its horns, and now offered it to Wraith instead of the fruit.

SPEAKER_01 20:57

Take this with you, please. Over time, this peace can develop into another me and experience another place. Plant it someplace beautiful where humans abound. Why don't you go into the city? All of you, I mean. That's a long journey, isn't it? Besides, do you think I would be accepted there?

SPEAKER_00 21:26

Rafe imagined Pokemon traveling on Mill Avenue, offering happy fruit, and people screaming down the street. He imagined a militarized police force arriving on scene with machine guns and flamethrowers. Rafe said, You're probably better off here.

SPEAKER_01 21:43

I'd like at least a part of me to thrive elsewhere. I'd like to be more helpful if I could.

SPEAKER_00 21:51

Rafe took Pokemon's puny protuberance. Perhaps Rafe could propagate the plant at a botanical garden, or even his own front yard. He unzipped his tattered hydration pack and placed Pokemon Jr. inside. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 22:06

The cactus beamed. Need any further assistance? Um you know where I can find some water? Yes. Walk with me.

SPEAKER_00 22:17

It's not far. Rafe then followed Pokemon to his favorite oasis, saying hello to a variety of chatty cacti along the way. The End. And that's a wrap on another episode of Connor Reed's books. The Story Read. I don't know if I should title these. Maybe I should. A huge thank you to Evan Boffman for having an interview with me and for letting me get my pick of his stories in Malls of the Wild. Again, this is one of my favorite. Evan, great work. Um, I'm super excited to share this. I hope you're pleased with this. Uh, listeners, please go check out the Malls of the Wild link in the show notes. Go check out the Murderfish link in the show notes, and you know what? Go check out more Connor Reed's books episodes. Why not, you know? Anyway, thank you all so much. Thank you, Evan. I really appreciate it, and we'll keep in touch. Thanks. Thank you all so much for listening. Again, if you like this episode, please leave a review. It takes a couple moments, but it really goes a long way and helps other people find this show as well. Also, you can follow me on my social medias. Uh, I'm more active on Instagram. You can find me at LConnor Voice. And I'll put links to my Instagram in the show notes as well, so you can go ahead and check those out and get in contact with me if you want to see some more of the content that I'm creating. You may be wondering, hey, I write short stories. How can I get Connor to read mine? Well, I do have a submission page. Granted, there are some, you know, rules and stipulations that you gotta kind of fit into, but uh, go ahead and check out lconnorvoice.com, go to the contact me portion, and send me an inquiry. And I'm gonna make that a lot easier for y'all uh in the future, just so you know. Um, well, that all being said, thank you so much for tuning into this episode. And until next, we turn the page to loo.