The Uncharted Path - Ep. 06: Waiting to 'Be Ready' is Killing Your Growth

If you’ve ever told yourself, “I’ll launch when I know it’ll work,” this episode is going to lovingly call you out. We’re diving into the sneaky lie that keeps so many female founders playing small, and how your ego is actually reinforcing it in the name of “safety.” This isn’t about eliminating fear, but rather understanding it and moving anyway. By the end, you’ll have tangible ways to shift out of overthinking and into aligned action.

Show Notes
In this episode, I share:

[00:14] The common lie female founders tell themselves that keeps them stuck playing small
[01:35] The truth about the ego - why it’s not the enemy and what it’s actually trying to do
[05:04] How perfectionism, overlearning, and “one more tweak” keep you from launching
[08:32] My personal story of waiting years to launch and how I finally broke the cycle
[15:10] Practical tools to move forward: mindset rewiring, emotional awareness, and taking small action

Key Takeaways

• You will never have a 100% guarantee of success, and waiting for it is what’s keeping you stuck.
• Your ego isn’t the problem; it’s trying to keep you safe, but often at the cost of your growth.
• Perfectionism and over-preparation are often just fear in disguise.
• Small, consistent action builds the proof your brain needs to feel safe moving forward.

Resources and Next Steps

1. Subscribe so you don’t miss upcoming episodes on strategy, energetics, and soul-led business growth.
2. If this episode hit home, please rate & review the show. It helps more CEOs find their playground.
3. Come hang out on Instagram: instagram.com@tracylynnmurray and LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/tracymurraycreativeservices, or visit tracylynnmurray.com

Transcript

00:00 Hello, hello, my soul CEOs. Welcome back to the Uncharted Path Podcast. I'm your host, Traci Murray, and this podcast is for the doers, the dreamers, and the disruptors.
00:14 Today, we're going to be talking about… We're going all about the lie that we tell ourselves as digital female founders that makes us keep playing small.
00:25 So, without further ado, let's get into it. Now, today. Today is going to be a bit about the ego and some myths about the ego, some busting things, all leading up to the lie.
00:46 So, we're going to be talking about, uh, the lie that we tell ourselves that keeps us from taking those opportunities, going to that next level that we can feel and hear that we are meant for, playing big, and that is the lie.
01:04 of what I call the lie of the guarantee, and that is that once I know it's successful, or once I know it will be successful, then I can do it, and that is the lie that is going to keep your business small and going to keep you stuck.
01:27 But first, let's talk a little bit about, there we go, my mic was stuck, let's talk a little bit about the ego.
01:35 So, here's the rant, here's my rant on the ego. I'm sure you've heard it before, people talking about the ego being bad or we need to kill the ego.
01:48 They couldn't be more wrong. The ego is not bad. It just is. And it is just trying to do its job of keeping you safe.
02:05 And like there is a ton of it. As a female founder in the digital business world, unpredictability equals unsafe. So then the ego freaks the heck out and we start spiraling.
02:24 All those. What ifs and reasons that we can't do it and the whole the whole list. Right. So where I don't know exactly where this connotation that the ego is bad and it's something that we have to kill or get over that came from.
02:40 Exactly. But the, the ego's number one job is to keep us safe. And again, this goes back to, and I'm sure you've heard of this, that human evolution, and especially like evolution of the brain, has not caught up with, or doesn't happen nearly as quickly as how quickly the world, uhm, evolves in this 
03:09 digital modern age. We're talking about evolution that takes millennia compared to, look at the difference between where we were 10 years ago to today with tech, let alone 100 years ago, you know, 1926 to 2026.
03:27 Huge difference. Yeah, if you look at, like, actual evolution of a species over 20 years, it's not even a drop in the bucket.
03:36 So, it goes back to that. That in the times where we needed to survive and survive. And survivability was an everyday question.
03:48 Of course, the ego was looking out. And really, the ego is like your subconscious. It's all the things that happen that, you know, if it was all done consciously, like.
04:00 Breathe. Look out for that. Did I check that? Is that danger? Is that okay? I'm scanning for this. You wouldn't be able to do anything doing that all consciously.
04:08 So it's all the subconscious. But what it's doing is scanning for those threats. Making sure that we stay where we are, that homeostasis, and don't do anything that's too risky so that it can keep us safe.
04:25 Because it used to literally mean keeping us from losing our lives. However, now, today, in the modern world, that equates to looking at all those, the risks that feel subconsciously like it's keeping us safe, but it's actually keeping us smart.
04:48 small, uhm. You know, it's, it's what comes up as the like what-ifs that keep you from taking action. Seeing all of the risks in something versus the opportunities, doing all of that like, oh, it's just, it's just so.
05:04 it's not quite ready. I just have to make these couple little tweaks. Once it's perfect, then I can do it.
05:10 You know, and the theme of today, that waiting for that guarantee, that once I know it's guaranteed to succeed, then I can launch that baby.
05:22 And until then, can't launch it, it's not ready, which then we end up going nowhere, right? So, let me tell you a little bit about my story.
05:36 Uhm, if you've listened to the first post, you know that I knew that I wanted to have my own business for a very long time.
05:46 And, you know, I had done the whole corporate ladder and did the whole, like, burnout, uh, of what I went to school for.
05:53 And I tried so many other things. My poor husband. Thank God he has the patience of a saint. But I tried MLMs, travel blogging, gluten-free lifestyle stuff.
06:08 And it wasn't until 2022 that I started freelancing after almost a decade. And I will tell you, OpenBook was totally, totally worth it.
06:25 A big piece of that was being afraid to pick the wrong thing, then getting down that road and wishing it would've been something different, but going, oh no, that other thing I should've picked didn't work.
06:40 No, it's not available anymore, no, it's not an opportunity, I missed the bus on that one, and regretting it. So all that led to spinning wheels combined with being afraid that if I didn't pick the right thing that it wouldn't succeed, and then same thing, now you're down years into it and lost money
07:05 , you know, financial difficulties, all of that, and so it just kept spinning. Meanwhile, time just keeps ticking by, you know, even, even when it comes to this podcast, I wanted to launch it for so long, not, and when I say long, I'm not talking about, like, one to two years, I'm talking about more 
07:32 like five to seven. But instead of launching it, I became a course-a-holic, trying to make sure every little t was crossed, every little i was dotted, uhm, and I will tell you, also not actually implementing what was taught in the courses, just going to the next one of, that's gonna solve my problem,
07:52 uhm, and questioning that direction so, so, so much. And what, one time, finally, I was listening to, uhm, James Wedmore's podcast, Mind Your Business, On Walk, which is a great idea, by the way, to get out of the house, get out of the office, take a walk, uhm, this is gonna sound weird, but actually
08:22 , like, as you're walking, look from side to side, it's an EMDR thing with how the brain's wired, uhm, great idea, so, definitely do that, but.
08:32 when I was listening to that, I realized that I was looking for this guarantee. I was telling myself, I can launch this, and it wasn't just the podcast, it was offers as well, I can launch this, when I know that it will be successful, and this is what so many of the female founders I work with, I've 
08:59 seen repeated, that once they know it's going to be successful, successful, then they will launch it, whether it's the business, the product, the mastermind, when it's guaranteed to bring steady, long-term, stable income, when it's going, when I know it's going to be successful.
09:20 a success, I will launch it. Now, what's the problem with that? Big, massive problem. We can never guarantee it. You're never going to get to that point that you can say, ah, this is guaranteed to be a success without a doubt because it's just something that there is no guarantee.
09:45 There is no, you can be sure about it. You can believe in what you're doing, but there's no way to get that true, hundred percent.
09:52 percent guarantee. So then, because our ego is trying to keep us safe, it's like, okay, well then, we gotta keep working on it, I guess, until we get that guarantee.
10:04 And the way our subconscious brain works, it is such a bunch of tricks you into continuing to work on it and continuing to iterate instead of just getting the thing out there, you know?
10:18 And in needing that guarantee, the ego has successfully stopped your venture into the unknown. So for your ego, it's like, this is great, man.
10:31 She's not going to do it. She's going to stay in the predictable world that increases our risk or increases our chance of safety, lowers our risk.
10:40 So from the subconscious perspective and the nervous system, it's like, okay, great. Everything's, everything's good, warm and cozy. Even though you're feeling miserable, right?
10:54 Um, so you just. End up landing then and continuing to. Perfect it, iterate it, search for that one perfect thing that's going to answer the problem, you know, and maybe you convince.
11:12 It's like, oh, if I just figure out the right thing for this piece, well, then I could at least increase the chances.
11:24 That's just another angle of the same thing. You know, that's leading you to the end, like, okay, let me work on just this one little piece, or let me take this one little course for this one piece of it.
11:33 It's the same story. It's just prolonging you. Uhm, you know, and that almost happened to me with, with other. Uh, offers as well, not just the business as a whole or the podcast.
11:49 It's something I have to actively watch all the time. And my husband has to lovingly remind me of all the time.
11:58 Uhm, but I also have. I had a client once who, instead of just lever, er, launching an offer and validating it to see, like, is there real interest here, she kept building out more of the back end, adding more things, building more structure into the CRM, into how it would be carried out, what it was
12:27 going to look like, and all that was doing was, number one, making it more accessible. more complicated, but number two, also avoiding putting it out there to see if the thing is actually going to sell, and then you also end up not launching it because now it's like, oh, crap, I've invested eight months
12:47 of my life, my business, so now the subconscious also starts working out, okay, more excuses not to launch it.
13:04 Whereas if you would have put it out there at, like, the two-week mark and validated it before doing all the behind-the-scenes stuff, uhm, you would at least know.
13:19 So, I know this isn't like a little bit of a tangent that I was starting to go down, so let me pull it back in and we will do an episode all on validating offers and things first.
13:30 But what I'm getting at is essentially because you'll never achieve that. A guarantee of knowing this thing is going to be successful, like truly consciously knowing you'll always keep working and not launching.
13:47 And the kicker is, like I said, you could feel miserable while you're doing it. But your ego would rather have you miserable and safe than the risk of doing something unpredictable and being unsafe that could endanger your life.
14:08 You know, it would rather deal with predictable misery than go somewhere new and scary. And again, it's not a bad thing.
14:16 It just is. It's just your ego trying to keep you safe. It's something evolutionary that's very good and still dangerous.
14:24 Today helps us stay safe legitimately. Like how many times have you like, I just know I shouldn't do that. I don't know why.
14:32 I just know. That's also the ego helping out there, too. But. How? How can we actually get beyond this? Because, of course, speaking from experience, it's a whole heck of a lot easier said than done of, OK, yeah, that's just my ego.
14:50 I just need to do and I just need to launch it and I just need to go ahead and and put it out there.
14:56 It is not that easy, you know, speaking from experience, and I'm sure you know as well. So while we can't guarantee, there are still things we can do to help shift it.
15:10 And, like, one that I was starting to touch on is doing that early validation to try and gauge some of that success level.
15:17 But you know me, I like to look at things on all planes. So mentally, emotionally, physically. So let's talk about some of the things you can actually do.
15:28 You can tangibly, start doing to help kind of flip the switch there. So mentally, this is where working on rewiring the subconscious, rewiring how the brain actually works and uses it.
15:44 using what's called neuroplasticity, which is how the brain can change over time. And two things that I like to do here, one is future visioning.
15:56 And this really works best when you have, you know, a deep definitive decision to make, and future vision, decision A, what that looks like, and decision B, what that looks like, and which one is the picture that you would be able to look live with.
16:17 So, example of this, when I was kind of at that crossroads of, okay, I was still working my nine to five, my freelance business had taken off, but I couldn't keep doing both.
16:28 I either needed to say, well, that was fun. But, I'm going to stick with the stable thing and stick with my corporate job, or I'm going to take the leap.
16:40 I'm going to leave corporate. I'm going to, you know, go down the freelance route full time. And one of the things that I did.
16:48 Was that future visioning of, okay, let's zoom out five years. What does a future with staying in corporate look like?
16:58 What does a future with freelancing look like? And taking into all the considerations like the instability, um, of freelancing versus like the pros and cons of corporate, all of that.
17:13 And I'm here today, so clearly you know which one I chose, but that's an activity that I like. And another one that really, really helps on the rewiring part is what I call anchoring and proof.
17:26 And I learned this from Alexander and Ninfo. It's one of my favorite things to do is look at, first you want to look at.
17:36 What is the, like, trait that you're either you're finding yourself stuck in and then what's the opposite? Or what is the trait that you're, you know, looking for?
17:50 Or like, let's say, for instance, that you're feeling yourself be very not confident in your ability to, uhm, be engaging when you speak.
18:04 But what you're considering is launching a podcast. So, one of what you want to do then is look at, okay, I want to find proof of when I've been engaging when I speak.
18:16 And start writing down the times, even if they're little tiny times, that you have had that proof. And you're starting to what you start to do is build into your brain, show it the evidence and the proof that you are that.
18:33 And that helps us start pruning those, actually, truly, if you looked at it like in a scan, pruning back. the neural connections in your brain that lean into the, oh, I'm not good at that, I'm not good at that, and actually grow the connections of the thoughts of, oh, yeah, I'm captivating when I speak
18:56 . Oh, I'm captivating, look, I was captivating that time, look, I was magnetic when I spoke that time, and starts to build those pathways.
19:03 So that's on the mental side. On the emotional side, this might sound a little bit woo-woo, uhm, but. Just go with it for a minute.
19:15 I mentioned before, it's not about killing the ego, it's about recognizing that it's just a part of you. It's not good or bad, it's a evolutionary system.
19:28 It's there for a reason, but it's just recognizing that it's going to pop up at times that it doesn't need to, and recognizing, like, okay, I am feeling this emotionally.
19:44 That's coming from the ego wanting to keep me safe, but there's actually no danger here. No imminent threat. Everything is okay.
19:56 I'm safe. And you can even, I've even seen people say, like, thanking their ego or their inner child for, like, oh, thank you for trying to keep me safe.
20:06 It's actually all good here. Uhm, I appreciate, you know, the, the warning of threats, but we're safe. Everything's okay. And, uhm, just, whether you do that or not, just recognizing that it's going to come up, but you don't have to give it meaning if you don't want to.
20:27 And then, number three, on the physical side, And couple of things here. Number one. One is just to get all of that extra energy out when it gets too much, because, and, and I'm sure you've seen this, the more that you start to, let's say, like, get anxious, and then you start to feel it, and then you
20:46 think more, and then you feel it more, and it's like, it's just this snowball effect, you can break that pattern by starting to dispel the extra energy.
20:55 It's the same thing dogs do when they shake off. So literally, put on music and just get the extra energy out.
21:04 Shake it out, like, kickbox it out, put on a YouTube kickboxing class, uhm, I've even seen people, like, scream into a pillow or punch a pillow, just get that excess energy out.
21:16 But more than a lot of times in those instances, walking isn't. It's a little too slow, right? Like, we actually gotta move a bit quicker, uhm, and then the other thing is, take small action.
21:30 This also helps with the anchoring and proof. Don't take the really big thing, take it in small steps. And then each time those steps work out, you're further proving to yourself.
21:41 So, like, create the email campaign, create the landing page, reach out to your network to validate an offer. And each of those times, if the world doesn't blow up by doing that, you can then look at, like, start building that evidence of, I've done things, and it's been okay.
22:05 And, because the biggest thing is, across all of these, is, just like a muscle, you need to exercise it. So, you have to start building these habits.
22:16 But, doing those, starting to employ some of these, you will start to help get past that lie of, I'm waiting for my guarantee, or if I just work harder or do this right, I can, I can guarantee that's going to be successful and then I can launch it.
22:34 This will help start to break that down. And, we can go much deeper in other episodes. Let me know, like, put in comments if there's specific questions you have on this.
22:46 We can definitely go into specific examples, break it down more, apply it to different scenarios. I gotcha. We can certainly do that.
22:56 But that is all I have for today, so have a great rest of your day. Thank you for joining me on the Uncharted Path podcast, and I will see you next time.