Title: Digging Wells of Trust
Navigate with Tim Austin, Season 5, Ep. 56
Intro:
Pastor and author Craig Groeschel states, “One of the biggest myths about leadership is you have to be in charge to lead. Leadership is not about title. Leadership is about trust.”
Welcome back to another episode of "Navigate," a podcast designed to help take the guesswork out of transition. I'm your host Tim Austin, and today, we will be reflecting on building trust through transitions season and how our approach to communication either hinders or helps the trust-building process.
Navigating successful transition seasons requires trust building. But that’s not always easy. It can sometimes feel like digging a well in hostile or unknown territory. So let’s dive in and hopefully get some takeaways that we can apply immediately in our unique situations and the relational dynamics that go with them.
Body:
Don’t wait until you’re thirsty to dig a well. – African Proverb
I like to compare the process of trust building with the ancient practice of digging wells. In the Bible, wells were regularly places of divine appointments and answers to prayer. They were places of provision, but also points of contact. A good well was reliable, life-giving and life-sustaining.
Likewise, when we dig wells of trust through the seasons - with God and with others - we are storing up a reliable source of relational capital, namely trust. Relational trust is something valuable we can draw from when navigating tough transitions marked by uncertainty.
Relational trust is built one stone upon another, one conversation at a time. But it’s common for emotions to run high in times of change, and that shows up in our conversations during heated transition moments. Yes, you know what I’m referring to….those moments in seasons of change when our trust well has run dry and we are most prone to become impulsive, impatient and defensive. The potential for conflict to sabotage our attempts to communicate well is very real.
Creating wells of trust involves the initial work of establishing (think digging) and the ongoing work of maintenance (think clearing debris). Establishing wells of trust takes initiative, discipline and trustworthiness. Maintaining wells of trust may involve seeking reconciliation, defending and protecting trust, and advocating for each other. We hold the power to set the tone and maintain and atmosphere of openness and trust with others.
So, conversations are key components to digging wells of trust. In fact, trust can only go so deep without open, honest dialogue. But these conversations, particularly when transition is at the core, can be extremely challenging. To complicate matters, there may be a history of poor communication and offense. The good news is that resets are possible, and here’s a few tips that can help:
1. Communicate don’t just comment.
Have you ever been in a conversation where it feels like you’re being told, talked down to, even reprimanded? How did it feel? What was accomplished? On the other hand, when have you engaged in conversations where healthy two-sided dialiogue is welcomed? Where you felt heard and valued? How did that feel? Which of the above scenarios built trust?
One-off remarks and voicing opinions outside of healthy conversations can be detrimental to trust building. One-sided comments usually break down rather than build trust. Hit the pause button and invite healthy dialogue.
2. Validate what you’re hearing the other person say, even when you don’t agree with what is being said.
Try hard to understand the other person’s point of view through active listening. Let them know you’re hearing their concerns and feelings around the topic. Listen without interruption and summarize what you’ve heard. This approach is validating toward the other person and has the potential to break down walls of mistrust that have been built up.
3. Use questions to move toward a problem-solving, non-defensive mindset.
I can tell when I’ve taken a defensive posture because I’m doing more telling than asking. Not only does this signal my own own defensiveness, it also causes the other party to respond in a similar way. Before we know it, we’ve multiplied offenses and stirred up defense mechanisms. Shifting to question mode and putting the problem on the table can help people let down their guard. Then we can get back to working together to solve complex issues inherent in transition.
4. Build in some flexibility.
Transitions can be emotional roller-coaster rides. Some changes we never see coming. They blindside us. The person in transition will appreciate some flexibility and space to explore options that come up, even after they’ve made a decision that seems firm. This is the grace principle at work. Let’s not get so legalistic and rigid that we ignore personal needs and withhold compassion from someone who is navigating tough choices brought about by change.
Effective Communication is a key ingredient in all forms of change management. If you’re leading change in your organization or church, what would it look like to prioritize transparent and consistent communication across all levels, keeping everyone informed about progress, challenges, and successes.
Transparent, consistent, Open communication builds trust and reduces anxiety. I don’t know about you, but I would love less anxiety in 2024. And that just might require a more grace-oriented approach…
“Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone. “ – Colossians 4:6
Here’s to establishing and maintaining deep and lasting wells of trust as we transition into 2024…one conversation at a time.
Outro:
That's all for today's episode of "Navigate". Thank you for joining us on this journey of embracing change with fresh eyes of intentionality. If you’ve enjoyed listening, can I encourage you to take a minute and leave a rating or review on your favorite listening platform? That would really help.
If you’d like to learn more about the 1:1 and group coaching services I offer, head over to encompasslifecoaching.com and then book your complementary discovery call with. Let’s have a conversation! I’ll catch you next time.