Third Culture Kids with Emma Austin

Tim's guest for this episode is Emma Austin, a young adult TCK who has spent most of her life living in Central Asia and Turkey. She is also Tim's daughter.
Navigating transition from high school to the next thing can be challenging for any young adult, but TCK's bring a unique set of challenges and strengths to the process. Join Tim and Emma as they talk about what it's like to journey with God and surrender to Him through big choices.

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Notes:

The term third culture kid (TCK) may be new to some.  TCK's are people who were raised in a culture other than their parents' or the culture of their country of nationality, and also live in a different environment during a significant part of their child development years. They typically are exposed to a greater volume and variety of cultural influences than those who grow up in one particular cultural setting. The term applies to both adults and children, as the term "kid" refers to the individual's formative or developmental years.

TCKs move between cultures before they have had the opportunity to fully develop their personal and cultural identity. The first culture of such individuals refers to the culture of the country from which the parents originated, the second culture refers to the culture in which the family currently resides, and the third culture refers to the amalgamation of these two cultures. (Source: Wikipedia)

Tim and his wife Eve have raised three TCK's, who are now young adults with some stories to tell.

Transcript

Timothy Austin: 0:05

Welcome, everybody to navigate. I'm your host, Tim Austin. And this is the podcast designed to take the guesswork out of transition. And whether you have a transition looming in your future or you're trying to make sense out of the past or current transition season, this show will help you think more creatively and plan more strategically, around any transition season you find yourself in. At navigate. It's all about leveraging the challenges of change for optimal growth. Emma Austin is what some refer to as a third culture kid or TCK for short. She grew up in Central Asia and Turkey before returning back to the states for her high school career. She graduated from public high school in 2020, and has recently been on a gap year adventure, which I will let her tell you about. Emma is also my daughter. And it's not often that we get to bring our kids into the work we do and give them a voice and a way to tell their story. So I'm super grateful for him his willingness to have this conversation, no bribes, no pressure, just a desire to tell her story. So by the way, if you are a proud parent of a young adult navigating a transition season themselves, you might want to hit the pause button and invite them to listen in with you. Or at least share this episode with them. Because you're in for a treat. So get ready to hear from an authentic truth teller, my daughter, Emma Austin. Okay, well welcome Emma to my podcast. I'm glad you join me. Thanks. It's good to be here. Yeah, well, I want to hear I know the listeners want to hear about you and a little bit of your journey and your story, particularly as it relates to some of the transition that you've gone through. But first, why don't you start off by telling us where you lived and you pulled on life, where you've where you've lived and what you're doing now?

Emma Austin: 2:08

Yeah, so I grew up in Tajikistan and Turkey, lived in Tajikistan till I was about nine years old, and then lived in Turkey for three years. That was during middle school. And then we moved back to North Cal for my high school career. So that was four years. And now I just got back from the world race by Gabby with the world race. And I'm just at home for the summer. And then I will go in September, end of August. Two alumni team lead for the same organization for worldway. So

Timothy Austin: 2:50

Very cool. And, how did you come to that? Because your journey has been mostly overseas until high school, and then you came back, we came back as a family. And you did your high school years in Northern California. First of all, just briefly, how was that? How was high school after living in the States after living overseas for so long?

Emma Austin: 3:06

Yeah, it was a it was hard. The transition for sure. I there's a lot of loneliness. And just like, not really, I mean, I didn't necessarily really want to be in the States I loved where I was in Turkey in, I thought that I would be at the school I was for the rest of high school. So it's kind of a shock moving back to the States. And yeah, I just remember a lot of loneliness in those first few years. Really all of high school, honestly. But just feeling like people didn't get me. I went to a public high school, and then, like, I remember, I just was kind of over that lonely feeling like, in my, like, sophomore, junior year. And so that's when I just like started to like, want to fit in more and take steps to fit in. And so I feel like in doing that I lost like a little bit during those few years, who I had become overseas and just who I was, because I wanted to just be known so much. But yeah, I walked away from the Lord a little bit during that, but came back to the Lord. My senior year, I'd say and then yeah, so it was tricky, and really just, yeah, I don't know.

Timothy Austin: 3:49

Well, you mentioned wanting to be known. And I think that's really common with third culture kids, kids who grew up on the field and, and, and that wrestling with identity and so you went through some of that struggle through high school. And now you're on this journey you called the World Race and tell our listeners a little bit what is. What is the world race? Is it a? Is it a 10k? What do you have to do? Okay.

Emma Austin: 4:07

It has nothing to do with the running. Yeah, not running. It's essentially I mean, they have different programs. I did their gap year. So the gap year is nine months long and traditionally, three months, three different countries. But why it's called the road race. I think that's because of the their other program called 1111, which is 11 countries in 11 months. So it's like a race. Okay, each country.

Timothy Austin: 4:23

Okay, so what what have you been doing? Up to this point in the world race? What has been your, what has been the focus for you?

Emma Austin: 4:34

Like nine months. Yeah. So we were in Georgia or a training period, that was about three months long. And then we launched to Cost Rica in January. And we ere in Costa Rica for three m nths. And then after that, we w nt to the Dominican for tw months, and basically in eac place. The world races part ers with different minist ies. So that's, we work through ork with there.

Timothy Austin: 4:48

Okay, so you partner with local ministries on the ground. Yeah. evangelism, whatever kind of help and serve serve in different ways. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And you've told us a lot of some of the ways you've served, it's been very diverse, and that a lot of different kinds of opportunities. So let's go back to how you navigated that choice. So you get out of high school. And you're faced with? Do I go to college? Do I do something like the world race? And I know, there are probably other options. There were other options you were considering? How did you navigate that? Because I'm asking, because sometimes there's that pressure to do, I'll just do what everybody else does. Or I should, I'm going to lose time if I do something other than college or, you know, there's that. So how did you navigate all of that?

Emma Austin: 5:18

Yeah, I think, um, it was really easy to get, like, wrapped in that mindset of, Oh, I'm going to be behind like this, like everyone else is going to college. I'm just going to be Yeah, behind. But, um, college was originally what I wanted to do, probably cuz everyone else was doing. And so I applied and got accepted to college. And it turned out that it wasn't going to work out for me to go in the fall semester. And so I was going to have to defer to January, or just wait a whole year. And so I was kind of almost forced, I guess, to look at other options. I mean, I could have chosen to gone to another college, but I just figured I wanted to go there. And so I was like, okay, maybe the Lord wants me to do something like why why am or just like some sort of discipleship training thing for a little bit. So I looked into like, three month options, like system thing that would hold me off until January. And then I just found the world race, and it was nine months long. And I was like, really wrestling with Just like throughout?

Timothy Austin: 5:54

Yeah, throughout this time, it's been What? How that. Because it was like, that's a whole year off from like, my life. It feels like you know, which I learned Now, obviously, it's not, but that's what it feels like in the many months now? Since you've been part of it? moment. And so I was like, okay, really praying about it. And really, the Lord just confirmed it in my heart, like telling me that, like I was not ready for college. And that's why all of this had happened. He had led me to this point that he wanted me to take a whole year off for him to just work in my part and change some things and what a word that he spoke was purging, because I just and I see that now obviously, in retrospect, looking back, like there was so much like that he had to purge and there were other things I had to bring up in me like good things. And I really was a year of that of him, like breaking, breaking things and healing things. And so I'm really glad that he brought me to that place, but I definitely wouldn't have chosen at first. Yeah. Yeah. So you did. Yeah, but you're glad you did?

Emma Austin: 6:31

Yes. Yeah.

Timothy Austin: 6:31

Okay. Let's talk a little bit about identity purpose. And some of the some of the lessons that you've been learning and the growth opportunities for you this as being part of this world race and and being part of this program. You have a lot of community you're you're living in tight quarters with people you're on teams, you know, you're you don't have to, you know, go into Are the details of the structure but you're in a great opportunity, a great place to grow and to learn. Tell us a little bit about what what are some of the lessons that you've learned or you are learning through this experience?

Emma Austin: 10:12

Yeah, I think tha I mean, one of the biggest les ons I learned, had to do wit like, just really basic th ngs, I feel like that I had know like, who he says I am or w o he is, but I, I hadn't believe them yet. And so the Lord r ally was walking me through that this year, just learning to beli ve those truths. Yeah, just si ple truths, like I'm loved by t e Father. Like, I feel like as a TCK as a, as a person who had rown up in a Christian househ ld, I always knew about the ord's love, and I knew that h loved me. But I think that beca se that I think that because I w s almost like, raised in a hristian environment. That was omething I took for granted because I just, yeah, I never eally believed it. And so the Lord really walked me thro gh what it means to like, be ieve and live out of that truth, like knowing that I am loved. A d yeah, I think another thing t at as a TCK, and many TCK is are prone to do is, like, jus adapt to their environments, hich is great. It's a great t ing, great skill to have, bu also can be something where we ose ourselves. And so yeah, th s year, the Lord walked me through a lot of like, ju t me facing the fact that I had ut my identity in the people hat surrounded me and not n him, and that I had looke to people for validation. An yeah, just fulfilled by people what they thought or said to m, and so the Lord just walked me through that. And I could ee that so clearly in Georgia, ecause I was like, often real y lonely, which is crazy, bec use I was surrounded by this a azing community. But during t is training period, in Geo gia, I was often just so l nely. And yeah, and I think th t was the Lord really breakin that, like desire for validat on in me from others. And so th n it was cool to watch him walk e through after ga like, then h was like, Okay, now you can start learning these things that like, you are loved by me and st rt believing them. And that was like, life changing. For me. I as like, I always knew I was oved. But I didn't like it's ju t crazy.

Timothy Austin: 12:44

Yeah, what a powerful lesson to learn. And s mething that is so found tional to your, you know, your rowth and success in the futur, wherever God leads you, where er he takes you, or whate er kind of times come that are h rd or challenging, or, you know, when you're tempted to not belie e that, you know, your ident ty is in him. And yeah, you c n go back to this, go back to th s kind of as an anchor for, or your life. Yeah, it's and I was just thinking, as you were alking how it sometimes hurts for when the Lord kind of strip away things. Uh, yeah, the f rst part was kind of a strip ing away of some of the false beliefs, mindset, diffe ent things that you were belie ing in order to then start with kind of a clean slate, you k ow, and to build, build you, ou know, with that, right, you k ow, with the right persp ctive and mindset and to build that into you. But it is a proce s where you have to be patie t, isn't it?

Emma Austin: 13:52

Yeah, yeah. uncomfortable. And just, I do't know that. If he couldn't h ve started teaching me thos things, if I had was still ho ding on to like, friendship or just others opinions, you kn w, because I was putting that above him. And so, yeah, the br aking is really uncomfortable. B t yeah, I'm thankful for it.

Timothy Austin: 14:15

Yeah. Any anyth ng else in that area? Any other lessons learned in terms of yo r identity or purpose or anyth ng or anything else that you'd like our listeners to know about

Emma Austin: 14:30

Well, I would just add on to what I said before with talking about being loved. knew that. I learned that hat was like, my sole purpose. A d I think that on top of like wa ting other people's valid tion, I had often just strived a lot for things and been in this constant state f striving. And so I just, the e's just So much security and ar est and knowing that all I ever ad to do was be loved by the by the Lord. And that Yeah, I didn' I couldn't do anything to earn that or, or anything like th t. And that goes back to believ ng because I knew that but I di n't believe that. So Well, yeah, I think that was just somethin I wanted to add. That's good. eah.

Timothy Austin: 15:22

Yeah. What missed opportunities might you have had? Had you not chosen this route? And you would have chosen strict college straightaway? Wow. Yeah. Um, I know, it's hard to, but you know, cuz, but but just what could have been some missed opportunities? Do you think?

Emma Austin: 15:43

Well, I def nitely think that just the com unity aspect. And I mean, I kno you can find good community in ollege and, but I've just nev r experienced community like tha on the race. And once. Onc, like, the Lord walked me thr ugh a lot of that stuff, he gav me some of the Swedish swe test friendships that I cou d really ever hope for. And so ust really cool. Living in tha. And I think I probably wou d have learned, I learned som of the stuff that I learned thi year, but it would have tak n me a while, or it would hav come at a later time. And so'm just thankful like, the Lor taught me some of that now, so can, like, start moving fro there. And yeah, I can't, I don t know what else.

Timothy Austin: 16:30

So as a TCK as a, as a, as a third culture kid growing up overseas, and knowing how to adapt, how has that helped you? Or maybe even hindered you personally, as a parent, watching my third culture kids, I see a lot of strengths in terms of the way they're the way they can adapt and be flexible, and, and all of that, and yet, you may have experienced some things challenging because of that or not. What do you think?

Emma Austin: 17:02

Um, yeah. I think that it's very helpful, like the flexibility aspect of it on the race, because you rarely know really, what's going to happen, obviously, like, you have an outline of your like, day to day schedule. But you Yeah, things often come like very unplanned, we always say like, no expectations, like don't have expectations, because you don't know what's going to happen. And so that was super helpful in that, and yeah, I think just like, having a background of living overseas was helpful in general, just being more comfortable and adapting more easily to what each country the cultural aspects are. And what I think TCK is often have like a more just like, not a higher sense of like, what's acceptable and not acceptable, and countries and can just like, catch on to that stuff really quickly, just so that that was definitely very helpful. Yeah, I don't know, any unhelpful aspects. I think what I mentioned earlier with just like, relationships with people like being who you think you should be in those relationships instead of your actual, real self, but yeah,

Timothy Austin: 18:30

yeah, I think that's good. Okay, well, good. This has been really great. And, and so we're, I want to encourage, oh, I mean, anybody who has a, you know, a kid who's transitioning from high school to college, whether they're TC Ks or not, I think there's always that there's always that piece of owning your faith, purse, you know, personally, knowing who you are in Christ. So all of that journey is part of life. And it often happens or excels. Like, when you're kind of transitioning from one thing to the next, you know, so what advice or encouragement might you give to someone in high school who's looking at next steps? Third culture kids or not, but but we've been talking about third culture kids and so that's a big part of our lives. So but yeah, what advice or encouragement might you give who, for those who are like trying to navigate all these choices and change and changes?

Emma Austin: 19:34

Yeah, um, I would definitely say that something I wished someone had told me when I was looking at these options is that where the Lord has you is where right where you're supposed to be in that you can never be behind or lagging in life if you're in his will and following him and so just yeah, take comfort in the fact that like, if you're obeying Him and following him and going, where he's leading, like, that's all you need to do. And that's right where you need to be. And yeah, I just think it's so like I said earlier, so easy to get caught up in the like agenda or the way we think our life is supposed to go based on how other people's lives are looking. And yeah, it's just where he has us right where you need to be. And yeah, I don't know.

Timothy Austin: 20:31

I kind of hear you saying avoid comparisons too.

Emma Austin: 20:34

That's a big one. Y ah, for sure. Yeah, and honest y, another thing that I would say is this doesn't real y have to do with like making a ecision on like, college or w atever it is. But just Yeah, like, looking at the truths th t you know about the Lord and ab ut yourself and just like d gging deep and asking yourse f, do I really believe his about the Lord? Really? D I really believe this about my elf? Honestly, that is it g ing to help you so much in w atever decision or transitio you make? Because Yeah, once y u're like, believing and liv ng out of those truths, yo find so much security and, and yeah, that's just gonna help a lot.

Timothy Austin: 21:25

Yeah, yeah. That's great. Great advice. So tell us as we wrap up here, what's next?

Emma Austin: 21:33

So in end of Augus, I will go alumni team lead for the world race. So that basicall means that I will be leading group of girls for three mo ths at the beginning of their ga year with roll Dre so exactly hat I did last year they're oing this year and so I just get to lead them, because I've alr ady done the thing. And I get to just show them the ropes, w lk alongside them, encourag them challenge them in their fi st few months. So yeah, I'm real y excited.

Timothy Austin: 22:06

Great. Yeah. Great. We're excited for you and and to track with you on this journey. So thanks again for joining me for this episode of navigate.

Emma Austin: 22:19

Yeah, thanks for having me.

Timothy Austin: 22:22

I hope listening in on this conversation with Mr. Austin has been encouraging for you. You won't want to miss the next episode, where we continue the conversation about TC KS, with my guest and longtime friend shad Phillips. Thanks for joining me today for this episode of navigate podcast. I've been your host Tim Austin and you can also find me hanging out at encompass life coaching calm as a coach and a blogger. If you want to leverage the growth and discovery opportunities in a transition season, reach out to me at encompass life coaching calm and learn how some one on one coaching can create space for intentional conversations, which then become catalysts for growth in any season you find yourself in. I hope this has been helpful to you and if it has Would you mind rating the podcast writing a review and sharing on social media. And of course, you can always subscribe so that you're sure to get in on the next episode, and I'll catch you next time.