Comedyville Horror Podcast
Join us each week as a brother and sister attempt to review and talk about a horrible horror movie.
Comedyville Horror Podcast
Episode 22: Let's test if crystals and healing stones work
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In this episode we investigate if crystals and healing stones actually work.
Well, I won't tell you the color because that'll give it away. Uh but you can actually turquoise. No, you can it has a scent. What? And that might help you. Because No, it doesn't. It helps with hemorrhoids. Oh my god. Put that one in my butt.
SPEAKER_07Sick. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00All right. Welcome to Comedy Bill Horror Podcast. We are your host. I'm Russ. I'm Tosh. And today's episode, we are we're talking about rocks.
SPEAKER_06Oh. I thought it was cristal.
SPEAKER_00Crystals?
SPEAKER_04Yeah, like the like the champagne bottles. No? Okay. But okay, rocks.
SPEAKER_00Well, okay, so and that's so yeah. It's uh stones, gems, uh, crystals, crystal meth, we will be doing crystal meth on We will not the pot. Can I just say if there is something in your life that you fucking love doing, uh do it.
SPEAKER_04Not meth.
SPEAKER_00Even if it is meth, uh do something that you love because uh what I hate is when people are like totally sober and you can tell like they fucking hate their lives because uh you can't do anything. Like what do adults do? Like if you're gonna meet up with someone, like where do you go?
SPEAKER_04Well, there's so many mocktails nowadays, but I feel like people like who are straight at the end.
SPEAKER_00Who wants to spend $15 on a drink that's not gonna fuck you up?
SPEAKER_04You can just have water.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_04I mean, I feel but I feel like those are the people that are like super fit, right?
SPEAKER_00Like they focus on like they do fucking CrossFit and shit, or like parkour or something.
SPEAKER_04Like I parkour. Yeah, parkour? Yeah, it's like still a thing, isn't it? I don't know. Jump off rocks.
SPEAKER_00I don't I've never seen anybody actually parkouring.
SPEAKER_04Oh well I know a girl who's like goes to like parkour, like I don't know, places. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Like they have meetups where they parkour like jump off of fucking picnic tables. Yep.
SPEAKER_04So I feel like if you were straight edge, fuck. If we were straight edge, we would be super fit. What?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I was straight edged uh like in high school and shit, into college.
SPEAKER_04Is this when you were like a bodybuilder?
SPEAKER_00Because like well, yeah. Well, not a bodybuilder, a powerlifter. Powerlifter. Huge difference. Fuck, get it right.
SPEAKER_04Oh my god, sorry.
SPEAKER_00But no, it was uh because I didn't even drink until I like was 21.
SPEAKER_06Oh, and you didn't do anything else before that?
SPEAKER_07Hmm?
SPEAKER_04You didn't like do anything else before you started drinking?
SPEAKER_00No.
SPEAKER_04Oh, so you were really straight edge.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_04You didn't smoke any weed?
SPEAKER_00No. Not until not until I was an adult.
SPEAKER_04When did you get into pipes?
SPEAKER_00Like tobacco pipes? Yeah, like a real like that I was Yeah, I was 22.
SPEAKER_01Oh.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. That's when you started. It was literally like down the deep. I started drinking, I started chewing, uh, started fucking smoking cigarettes, just all like I should have started earlier, but I didn't.
SPEAKER_04I mean, probably a good thing that you didn't.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Well, so I can't say that I'm I was straight edge because uh I fornicated.
SPEAKER_06Oh.
SPEAKER_00That's against uh the fucking straight edge. Uh and I had I would drink caffeine.
SPEAKER_04Well, I don't think straight edge means that you're Mormon.
SPEAKER_00No, I think that's you have to be Mormon to be straight edge. Yeah. Uh but like fucking that's what I hate too, is like uh the whole thing, like, because me and my friend group in high school, we were like, we don't need to fucking party and get drunk and shit. Like we can like we can have fun uh just sitting around and fucking talking. Kind of like what we do here. But I mean, we do drink.
SPEAKER_04I mean Cheers. Cheers. To not being straight edge.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, fuck being straight edge. The best though is like That's really nice though. When you I was the opposite and argued all the time. Adults with the straight edge, uh the the big thing was to get X's on your hands, like like when you're a minor, like you can't drink, you know? So you had the X's on your hands.
SPEAKER_04I've never seen it.
SPEAKER_00So they would get it tattooed, and then like later on in life, when they stop giving a fuck, then they're fucking drinking with like the X's on X's tattooed.
SPEAKER_04Oh, it looks like I just went to a concert.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_04That's funny. Huh. I didn't know that. Now I'll have to look.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Let's get let's get to stones.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_04So um and meth no, not meth, sorry.
SPEAKER_00Let's do meth. Oh yeah. Crystal meth. Um what is your experience with this type of uh witchery? Uh seriously. Uh gobbly gook.
SPEAKER_04I don't know. I I love stones.
SPEAKER_00Like normally I rock like some sort of crazy like stone necklace or like big earrings or like what it is and what it does for what you have, right?
SPEAKER_04I mean, no.
SPEAKER_00I just forget immediately.
SPEAKER_04They're pretty.
SPEAKER_00Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_04Like, I mean, you know, like I think like amethyst or something is supposed to be for like strength or what's your birthstone? Uh a diamond.
SPEAKER_00Oh Jesus.
SPEAKER_04I'm an expensive bitch. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Uh you know what mine is? The fucking the pink one.
SPEAKER_04Citrine?
SPEAKER_00Or no, I think sometimes it's opal.
SPEAKER_04Oh no, that's April. April's either opal or a diamond. I don't know. Oh, wait, no, you're October. You're right. Because it can be it's it depends on which ones that you read. Isn't it amethyst and it's the purple one?
SPEAKER_00Also, I'll say this.
SPEAKER_04You're also colorblind. So good luck on that.
SPEAKER_00But fucking uh looking into stuff, it is all over the place.
SPEAKER_04Oh, there's a shop not too far from here that literally has every type of crystal. And then you can like it has like all the like beaded bracelets, which normally I wear like five of them. I'm not today.
SPEAKER_00Um I have I have these bracelets that I got at the buckle.
SPEAKER_04And so Oh my god, did you just say the buckle?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, so uh this one actually has a cross and like a little Bible verse on it. As being a Satanist, I wear uh a bracelet that has a a Bible verse.
SPEAKER_04That hasn't gone up in flames. Um but yes, there is a I guess the only like like real stones other than the ones that like I'll wear as like an accent piece. Um I don't know, my friend gave me little stone dicks.
SPEAKER_00And I put What do you do with the stone dick?
SPEAKER_04I put it in my plants.
SPEAKER_00So like the like just like a little is it like a healing stone?
SPEAKER_04Uh maybe.
SPEAKER_00And it helps the plants heal. Yeah, it helps them grow. Gets them hard.
SPEAKER_04It does. I did just get a new bud. Um but yeah, so that's really what I have, other than my bracelets, which I tr I mean, I guess I kind of try to learn what they mean, and then I forget.
SPEAKER_00So yeah, exactly. That's that's my thing is I need it like written down somewhere. Yeah, like well, and you can't even because when you look up stuff, it is different for like because I was looking up like uh what ones for money. And no joke, if you're gonna mention Yeah, like if you Google it, all of them. Oh, well, you like it's literally all of them.
SPEAKER_04Because it's just some stoned hippie being like, this stone means.
SPEAKER_05I know.
SPEAKER_04Well, that's weird.
SPEAKER_05Anyways.
SPEAKER_04Um, but yeah, so it's like gotta be just like a stoned hippie making up all things.
SPEAKER_00Well, yeah, like all of like I swear, like most most of the what is this? New age, I guess, right? Most of this type of shit is unfounded, uh completely made up bullshittery.
SPEAKER_04I mean, it's for like people who are having a hard time through life, and they're like, I'm gonna meditate, and that should help me not want to murder someone.
SPEAKER_00Go to a bar which I should put and drink.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_00Stop fucking buying. I spent a bunch of money on fucking rocks.
SPEAKER_02I told them not to.
SPEAKER_00But I I wanted to do it for this, so we'll get into this later. But preview I spent a bunch of money on fucking rocks so that we can test it.
SPEAKER_04We're testing.
SPEAKER_00But we gotta do our homework. We have to eat our meat before we get the pudding.
SPEAKER_04I don't know. That sounds highly inappropriate.
SPEAKER_00I think that I saw that on something.
SPEAKER_04All right, let's never yell that.
SPEAKER_00So some of the information, some of the history, our meat for this episode. Um, like literally for as long as humans have been around, we we have had jewelry, uh like things. Like for some reason that's it's almost like in our like DNA is to like collect things. Yeah, like make like trinkets, make uh things, you know? Mm-hmm. So it's it's literally been around. Um what is it? Some of the earliest uh they found beads carved from a mammoth tusk in Russia that dates back 60,000 years ago.
SPEAKER_04That's crazy.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. And they found uh beads made out of like sharks' teeth and shit, like fossilized sharks' teeth.
SPEAKER_04Oh yeah. I mean, but I feel like like even the Native Americans, right? They would make like all sorts of things out of like the chest pieces and all that like decor for like ceremonies out of ribs and so some of the oldest uh amulets, like a a a big thing, you know, like a like not a bead.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Like because a bead takes multiple things. So an amulet, I believe, is like a a bigger, like a big stone.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, that's what that's what I like to wear.
SPEAKER_00Uh one of them came out of uh Baltic amber.
SPEAKER_04Oh, I love amber.
SPEAKER_00That uh dates back to some 30,000 years ago.
SPEAKER_04Um did it have like a fossilized you can find them with like fossilized like mosquitoes and stuff in them.
SPEAKER_00Those are fake. You know that?
SPEAKER_04I mean, maybe some of them are.
SPEAKER_00Any any one that you see is most likely fake.
SPEAKER_06What?
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_06No.
SPEAKER_00Mm-hmm. I I guarantee like any one that we will see in our lifetime uh is fake. Because the the real ones, I'm sure, are like in like the fucking the archives of like the Smithsonian. Like we're not gonna like see one in fucking real life.
SPEAKER_04And they're like super expensive if they're real.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. It's not like fucking Jurassic Park where they just fucking find one and I mean you're probably right. Okay. Um, so let's also there there's also bracelets and uh necklaces and other type of like jewelry made out of gems and stones and all this uh that date back uh like 4,000 BC that we have found.
SPEAKER_04That is so crazy.
SPEAKER_00Let's see. Uh there's also uh ancient Egypt.
SPEAKER_04Mm-hmm. They love their stones.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, they gems. Yeah, they had all sorts of uh they're known for like ruby, right? Yeah, like extravagant uh and gold. Yeah, one would call gaudy. But like, you know, like they were definitely like a fucking like an Italian woman.
SPEAKER_04Like reality shows.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Like Oh, I need my regular carrot. Yeah. Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_00They had to like show off.
SPEAKER_04Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_00They were boasters, but they also they also did a lot of like uh protection stuff. So it wasn't just like showing off like uh they did like healing stones and like fucking protect from bad vibes or whatever.
SPEAKER_04I mean, I get that.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_04That's what I hope all of mine do, even if it didn't say it.
SPEAKER_00Um, so also ancient Greeks did, and the word crystal comes from the Greek word for Crystal. No.
SPEAKER_04Okay.
SPEAKER_05Ice. Ice baby. Doom doom doom ding doom. Doom doing doom doom.
SPEAKER_04Well, is that because the diamonds looked like ice?
SPEAKER_00Well, but I think like like a a crystal, like rose quartz or you know, like it looks kinda because it's like filmy a little bit. Yeah, like it's like opaque.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, okay. I like it.
SPEAKER_00You know? The word uh amethyst.
SPEAKER_04Oh, just talked about that.
SPEAKER_00Uh means not drunken. Oh it was worn as an amulet to prevent drunkenness and hangovers.
SPEAKER_04Huh. I should be wearing that every day.
SPEAKER_00No, see, I want I want the drunkenness.
SPEAKER_04I don't want the hangover.
SPEAKER_00Well, yeah.
SPEAKER_04So do you just drink and then you put it on when you're done?
SPEAKER_00Oh that I don't know how what's the science on this? How does that work?
SPEAKER_04I don't know.
SPEAKER_00We'll have to test it out.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, I have a big Anatist necklace that I just got. I'm really excited about it.
SPEAKER_00Jeez. Uh also, uh Chinesees.
SPEAKER_04Oh, what did they do? They had like beads.
SPEAKER_00Well, so the they were uh heavily into jade for a long time. Yeah. Like, yeah, we've we've all seen like the little statues and all that, you know.
SPEAKER_04Um I do love jade. I have a couple of jade pieces.
SPEAKER_00There was a show about, I think it was like fucking called Jade Hunters.
SPEAKER_04Oh.
SPEAKER_00And it's like they're in like Alaska.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, I think it's like isn't it really hard to like come by now or something? I don't even know.
SPEAKER_00I don't know if it's hard to come by. I think it's just hard to get to because it's mostly.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Um and so like up there, it's a very short season to get it. And then you don't know the quality of it until you cut it. So it's always like a huge gamble for them because it it looks like just a fucking rock, like a big boulder. They're like, ah, it's probably Jade in there. And then they try and sell it for like millions, hoping that it's really good quality, and then it ends up almost all the time not being.
SPEAKER_04So I wonder, like, um, and I I guess, well, there's a few that probably still have them, but for a while, every time I would go and get my nails done from like a you know, Vietnamese salon or whatever, they always had these like jade bracelets. Just a jade circle bracelet. Bangle. Yeah, bangle. And it was be so tight that I'm like they put it on when they were children. Seriously, I'm not even kidding. So I asked, like, how long have you had that on? And one lady, she's like, Oh, like 20 years. I never take it off. I'm like, well, she couldn't take it off.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, you have to either break it or smash your hand.
SPEAKER_04Or yeah, like completely smash your hand. It was it's just I like I was just like, What? There's no way you would ever be able to get that off. You would have to lube up your hand and your wrist.
SPEAKER_00Well, even then, it can only go so much.
SPEAKER_04I think they just break their.
SPEAKER_00Like when I put it in my in my butt.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. And then you and then it comes out. But seriously, like how I mean it's like foot binding, right? You'd have to like bind your hand for a while to be able to get it.
SPEAKER_00Why is that? It's always like Why was that a thing? Why is it always like Asian culture of like torture?
SPEAKER_04No, because remember it was like Ethiopia that had like the neck rings.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_04And then they would stretch their necks, but then you couldn't, like, they could never take them off because they have to be a big thing. Yeah, otherwise their head would like fucking fall. Oh, they'd snap their neck. I remember watching like a documentary on that. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Amazing. And it's still practice, but I don't think near as much. I think they've found awful. Uh like the health benefits of it.
SPEAKER_04It's a bunch of bullshit.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Like they just made it up.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, like fucking rocks.
SPEAKER_04And like what guy was like, that's hot? How many rings do you have on your neck? Do you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_00Like guys are weird. The like it takes almost nothing for a guy to get a boner. So it's like, Jesus.
SPEAKER_02I was watching a stretched-out giraffe lady would be like super hot.
SPEAKER_00Or no, yeah, you have HVO Max.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00From you. Because it's mine. Uh but there's look up the the murders of uh glitter. What the hell did they glitter ball?
unknownWhat?
SPEAKER_00Uh it's a disco ball. It's in Louisville, Kentucky. So Louisville, like, created uh the disco ball. But they called it like something stupid, like a glitter.
SPEAKER_06Okay. Glitter ball. We'll call it a glitter ball.
SPEAKER_04Uh what's the premise?
SPEAKER_00It's these two gay guys that murdered someone and buried him in the basement. But like they were into like fucking everything. Like uh tying up, like fucking waterboarding, like uh being peed on. Like they were into like everything. Yeah. And meth.
SPEAKER_04Probably.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. But no, you should watch it. It's only two like really long episodes, but like really long.
SPEAKER_04Can't wait.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, but it's really good.
SPEAKER_04Okay. All right, I'll watch it.
SPEAKER_00Uh so back to fucking rocks. Um, let's see. This talks about religion. Uh yeah, nobody cares about that. So during the the Renaissance.
SPEAKER_04Um they had weird shit.
SPEAKER_00So in this kind of, I believe, uh started like the using the stones for healing in like kind of modern day life, sort of, you know. Um it was actually like accepted during that time. Well, yeah, and I think it was sound.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, it was uh It was like a healing thing, right?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I think it was probably they were looking for fucking Any sort of answer.
SPEAKER_04And I think like to like smallpox.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I think the the healing stones, like that this is it.
SPEAKER_04This is the answer.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, kinda like gave them something that they were looking for. Let's see. Let's let's get into like modern day, more now. So although uh no longer in use medically, like, because I think ancient stuff, they were like fucking rubbing rocks on people and they're like, you're healed now.
SPEAKER_04I'll still do that shit now.
SPEAKER_00Well, but I don't think any actual doctor like I think like a tribe had like a doctor and he was like rubbing fucking stones on people, he's like, you don't have AIDS anymore.
SPEAKER_04You also don't have the smallpox. Yeah. And you won't affect the rest of your family as they die one month later.
SPEAKER_00But since we're no longer medically doing that type of shit, people still believe in this fucking this shit.
SPEAKER_04I mean, so much that even so I, you know, I work obviously in hospice. There are a few hospice agencies in town that also have a like reiki person and like do like the holistic side of it.
SPEAKER_07Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Which I think is great for some people. I mean, if that's truly like what your beliefs are.
SPEAKER_00Um see, and that's but when I like I can't gasp argue with someone where it makes them feel better.
SPEAKER_04Right. Like if this is giving you peace of mind, it's great. But if I'm gasping for air, don't rub a rock on me and tell me it's gonna be.
SPEAKER_00Don't throw rocks in my throat if I can't breathe.
SPEAKER_04But I'm like, seriously, give me the morphine, open up my airway, and don't let me suffer.
SPEAKER_00Instead of crystal, give me crystal myth.
SPEAKER_04Well, I mean, whatever it takes, but I'm like, I don't know. Again, I know a lot of people believe in that with the healing power and the Reiki when like like reading your aura and like all the things, I don't know, colors or something, whatever.
SPEAKER_00That's have I told you that for the last like few years I've been watching like uh like Indian, like not our Indian, but uh from India. Uh the Reiki uh head massages.
SPEAKER_01Oh, no.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, oh it's so relaxing. It's like ASMR. Like I love ASMR stuff. But these guys, and it's so funny because they like beat the shit out of like they're like fucking doing this shit.
SPEAKER_04Like as a head massage? That sounds terrible.
SPEAKER_00I don't know. I like it.
SPEAKER_04You've had one done?
SPEAKER_00No, I mean I like watching it. Oh, I mean, watching it. There's no way that I can, like, not with this hair.
SPEAKER_04Oh my god. Can no, that's like I couldn't. I'm never that girl that's like, rub your fingers through my hair. Okay, immediately stuck. Like, no, like flies get stuck in my hair for like at least like 30 minutes.
SPEAKER_00Like a a rose bush.
SPEAKER_04It's so bad.
SPEAKER_02Oh, it's really terrible.
SPEAKER_00Um, but so there's also Native American, indigenous people, obviously. And so in the I guess desert, like we talked about like Navajo and stuff. It's always turquoise.
SPEAKER_06Yes.
SPEAKER_00Uh with like the desert.
SPEAKER_05Is it found?
SPEAKER_06Turquoise?
SPEAKER_05In the desert?
SPEAKER_04Like Arizona.
SPEAKER_00Isn't it? We should go and try to find it.
SPEAKER_04I went to a couple of years ago, I went to Tucson, um, where one of my friends uh that's where her family lives, and we went to oh, it was really cool. It was like, I think one of the oldest Catholic churches in the United States, if not the oldest, it was Sun Hobby or Mission.
SPEAKER_00In Arizona?
SPEAKER_04Tucson.
SPEAKER_00I highly doubt that.
SPEAKER_04Well, and I said in the United States.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Okay, well, maybe Where did we start in the United States? Fucking Plymouth Rock.
SPEAKER_04Well, whatever. That they built. I don't know what the story was, but when you when you like you could go there in the morning or whatever and like tour it, and it was crazy. It was awesome.
SPEAKER_00Was it in like the middle of the city?
SPEAKER_04It was in the middle of the desert.
SPEAKER_00Oh, really? And then See, have you ever been to the Alamo in San Antonio?
SPEAKER_04Not the Alamo. What's the other one in Tucson? Where they do the Westerns? Oh, because I went to that one.
SPEAKER_00Oh.
SPEAKER_04Um But I was gonna say the Three Amigos was filmed there.
SPEAKER_00Oh like a Dude Ranch thing or whatever?
SPEAKER_04No, it was it's like famous.
SPEAKER_00Oh, I don't know.
SPEAKER_04But when you would leave the tour, that's when like all of the it was like a flea market, right? All the like indigenous, like whatever people were there.
SPEAKER_00Fucking scam shit.
SPEAKER_04No, like there the turquoise was so beautiful and so cheap. Like, because it's just there's an abundance of it. I got some of the coolest pieces of turquoise I've ever seen in my life.
SPEAKER_00Oh, I know I when I lived in uh El Paso, there was a so many fucking like turquoise like dealers around, and I never stopped. I should have.
SPEAKER_04Oh my gosh, seriously.
SPEAKER_00Never even fucking looked.
SPEAKER_04It was cool. There was like rock stores everywhere.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. The fucking the Alamo, like how you said it was out in the middle, nowhere in the desert. Yeah. So I thought that the Alamo, like, uh like picture the battle of the Alamo, right?
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_00It was what, 10,000 uh Mexican soldiers against like 300 American soldiers.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_00Uh I thought it would you'd have to drive down like a fucking dirt road out in the middle of the fucking desert. No, it's literally downtown San Antonio.
SPEAKER_04Well, I mean, there wasn't all those places around there.
SPEAKER_00No. Well, yeah. Now there's like the river walk where you just get fucking shit faced.
SPEAKER_04No, I'm like, are you sure this wasn't just a place called the Alamo and it was a bar?
SPEAKER_00No, it's the actual Alamo. Ozzy Osborne pissed on it.
SPEAKER_04Is this the one that's in Period's Big Adventure?
SPEAKER_00Uh I have a confession.
SPEAKER_04Oh my god, if you tell me that you have never seen that.
SPEAKER_00I have not. I know I've started it like Oh, we're gonna watch it. I think it was like I went to watch it as a kid, and my mom was like, oh, this is not something you should watch.
SPEAKER_04Why?
SPEAKER_00Because my mom was an insane person.
SPEAKER_04Oh my god. I watched it like every single day for at least two years of my life.
SPEAKER_00I don't know if she's a homophobe wanted a pee-wee pee-wee doll for Christmas.
SPEAKER_04And he got cherry instead and was pissed.
SPEAKER_00What's cherry?
SPEAKER_04Cherry was the chair that would talk.
SPEAKER_00Oh, a chair.
SPEAKER_04Uh-huh. Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_00I'm dumb.
SPEAKER_04We'll watch it one of these days.
SPEAKER_00So, yeah, so uh turquoise uh was very precious to like Native Americans. Like it was uh like a protector stone. Uh oh good.
SPEAKER_04I'm glad I got a lot of it. But then I think like the northern right tribal natives, they would like use um right, maze. They would dye like pieces of like bone and like things like that, and like corn. And so they would use the different colors of the maze to like I mean, they must have used some sort of way to break it down. That's what I hate about like the desert had like yeah, they had like all this fucking cool shit. And then we're like scalping views.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, we had like fucking feathers. That was all that we had.
SPEAKER_04Rabbit teeth.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Like a something dumb. Yeah, buffalo ribs. Corn.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. You can't pass down corn.
SPEAKER_04I mean, you can pass it like it's the regular stuff. But I'll pass you, I'll pass down some corn to you.
SPEAKER_05I don't want it.
SPEAKER_00Uh so I I think I'm done talking about like the history of it. Now let's get into a fun little game.
SPEAKER_04No shit.
SPEAKER_00That I like to call uh let's blindfold Tosh and put a rock in her hand and see what she feels.
SPEAKER_06What do you mean what I feel? Well, these these rocks have powers. Oh.
SPEAKER_04Okay. If you put a piece of petrified shit in my hand I could not find petrified shit.
SPEAKER_00I tried, but I could not find it.
SPEAKER_06I did pick up a piece of that once. What?
SPEAKER_04I was with my nephew and we were on the beach and we were seashell hunting and we had a baggie, and so we just picked up a bunch of shells, and most of them were covered in sand. And then once we left the beach, like we're driving, and he's just handing them to me, and he's like, Look at this one, Aunt Tosh, look at this one. And he handed me one, and I'm like, This one's like curly or something. And I just kept like rubbing it and like it just kept coming apart. And I'm like, It's shit.
SPEAKER_02I just remember like opening up the window and like throwing this piece of petrified shit out of the window. It was, yeah. I mean, he was like five, like it was hilarious.
SPEAKER_00But did I tell you when we were me and my wife were in Florida and uh she loves like seashells and stuff, so she was collecting them every every single day. She would collect them. We'd be on the beach. And so we'd bring it back, we'd bring them all back to the Airbnb that we were at, and she had them in the the kitchen sink, and during the night we could hear like Oh god, was it a crab?
SPEAKER_04You had a crab.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. A bunch of them still had animals inside of them.
SPEAKER_04No.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_06Oh no.
SPEAKER_00What'd you do? Boiled them.
SPEAKER_06You ate them?
SPEAKER_05Well, yeah.
SPEAKER_06You can't just Were they like hermit crabs?
SPEAKER_00Some of some of the shells were like huge.
SPEAKER_03Like Oh my god, and you killed them?
SPEAKER_00Well, yeah, we needed the shells.
SPEAKER_03Oh my god, that's terrible. That's actually funny though.
SPEAKER_00Well, and it was because uh at first I was like, let's just put it outside, you know? And then it was like it went like uh down the patio, like trying to fucking crawl away.
SPEAKER_07Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And then I'm like, nah, motherfucker. Like, then we boiled them.
SPEAKER_04Oh my god, you're terrible. That's awful.
SPEAKER_00Eh.
SPEAKER_04All right, well.
SPEAKER_00So we're going to set up this fun little game.
SPEAKER_04I'm so scared.
SPEAKER_06I can't see shit. Okay, am I good? Yeah. Okay. All right. Okay. Are we recording?
SPEAKER_00Yeah. We I never stopped.
SPEAKER_04Okay, thank God.
SPEAKER_00Um, so this is the game. As you can see, Tosh can't.
SPEAKER_01That's right.
SPEAKER_00She is blindfolded. So that That's us.
SPEAKER_07Just kidding. Jesus.
SPEAKER_00Okay. So that way she can't try and uh cheat. Yeah. With uh like what would they look like or whatever. Uh so I I spent uh a small fortune on these fucking things. Actually, it was like 30 bucks. So what we're gonna do is you're gonna hold out your hand, and I'm gonna place a stone on it, and you give it a few moments and see if you can tell anything.
SPEAKER_06Okay.
SPEAKER_04I'm ready.
SPEAKER_00Alright. So, and also I want to point out I did cleanse these, and so it actually might not work for you because I programmed them to me.
SPEAKER_04Oh fuck. What do you mean you cleansed them? Did you piss on them?
SPEAKER_00No, it's a whole because I was like, I bet these motherfuckers are gonna say some fucking dumb shit.
SPEAKER_04Like I bet you just blacklit them because you wanted them all to be uranium.
SPEAKER_00No, it's I uh literally you just have to fucking wash the goddamn things.
SPEAKER_04Oh, really?
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Well, because it can have like when you pick it up in a store, it can have like fucking anybody's paws all over it. Oh so I did wash them. I mean, just for sanitary reasons. Great.
SPEAKER_04Can't wait to get your next cold.
SPEAKER_00Uh she didn't get sick from me. Uh this is the first one.
SPEAKER_04Can I like guess the color? Can everybody see that?
SPEAKER_00Why does the color matter?
SPEAKER_04I don't know. Because then I I'll know maybe what it is.
SPEAKER_06No. It's like a like a brownish, reddish hue. So how oh, this is amethyst.
unknownNo.
SPEAKER_00But how does it make you feel?
SPEAKER_06Oh. I feel like is that your dominant hand?
SPEAKER_04Uh well, it was until my mom switched it. Well, God, okay. Oh shit. Okay, hold on. See, clearly I'm not sh I'm not cheating.
SPEAKER_06Um this makes me feel uh like like excited.
SPEAKER_04Maybe. Like what? It makes me feel like like I'm like it's taking some of my stress away. Or sleepy.
SPEAKER_00I think you you were getting close because you were you said it makes me feel ha happy. Yeah. Yeah, it makes me feel so this is citrine.
SPEAKER_04Ah, I almost said citrine.
SPEAKER_00And it's for success, joy, and prosperity.
SPEAKER_04Oh, well, I love that. I'm gonna eat it now.
SPEAKER_00Oh is that how you get the powers? Yeah, I think so.
SPEAKER_04Then you have to will you sift through my poop later to get these back? You might be able to return them if you clean them.
SPEAKER_00That's what we should do a podcast of where we drink gold schlager and then we try and get the gold flakes? Yeah.
SPEAKER_04I think it would no, that's like that weird purpley sparkly drink that I thought my poop was gonna be glittery and it wasn't. I drank a lot of it one time.
SPEAKER_00That's bullshit.
SPEAKER_04Um, okay, so I'm just like a black color, maybe or green.
SPEAKER_06Feeling green. Ooh, maybe blue. This is like calming. Calming and like making me feel less anxious. Maybe uh soothing.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, so honestly.
SPEAKER_04Rubby? Uh I just want to rub it because there's like holes in it, and so it it's like scabby kind of doing pretty good at this, actually. Oh god, you guys are a witch.
SPEAKER_00Which is free, Agate.
SPEAKER_01Agate.
SPEAKER_00Uh it's for stability, patience, and emotional balance. And it's also used to connect to nature.
SPEAKER_04Oh, well, that's totally me. That's maybe that's why I felt so calm for a hot minute.
SPEAKER_00Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_04Okay, okay. How many of these fuckers do we have?
SPEAKER_00Uh fifteen. Oh, Jesus. I don't know if we're gonna go through all of them. Uh let's see. Try that one out.
SPEAKER_04Hematite.
SPEAKER_06No.
unknownDamn it.
SPEAKER_06Amethyst. No. Uh bitch. Hold on.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_06This is gonna be more maybe relaxation. Like serenity. Um I close. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Like serenity, meditate, like this feels like a meditation rock. Like to find like my spiritual, like a spiritual guide rock.
SPEAKER_00It kind of goes a little deeper than just meditation.
SPEAKER_04So like my spirit animal.
SPEAKER_00No, see, now I think you're going further away.
SPEAKER_04Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_00It's rose quartz.
SPEAKER_04Oh shit.
SPEAKER_00Okay. Uh and promotes love, compassion, and peace.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, okay. So you I said serenity.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, so you you're on like the right track for a lot of these.
SPEAKER_04I was getting all these freaking rocks wrong, but again, I can't see them.
SPEAKER_00Okay. So this one is I'll I'll give you a little hint on this one.
SPEAKER_06Mm-hmm. It's a a man-made one. A man-made one. Yeah. Oh.
SPEAKER_04Like he did I say like the hematite? The hemat that's not man-made though, is it?
SPEAKER_00I don't think so.
SPEAKER_04Yamethist.
SPEAKER_00No.
SPEAKER_04That's not man-made.
SPEAKER_00Uh b so What color is it? Well, I won't tell you the color because that'll give it away. Uh but you can actually turquoise. No, you can it has a scent.
SPEAKER_06What?
SPEAKER_00And that might help you. Because No, it doesn't. It helps with hemorrhoids. Oh my god. Put that one in my butt.
SPEAKER_04It's sick. Yeah, I need to clean these. Fucking bleach. Smells like it's like a meth rock.
SPEAKER_00No, it doesn't have a smell.
SPEAKER_04Oh, dick. This one is tiger eye. No, that would not be man-made. I don't know, like a brushed coal.
SPEAKER_00No. But so this is. What does it make you feel?
SPEAKER_04It makes me feel. I don't know. This one gives me like. This isn't isn't calming to me.
SPEAKER_00Opposite of calming.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. It makes me feel like excited and like.
SPEAKER_00Honestly, good job.
SPEAKER_04Like but like a little anxious.
SPEAKER_00Mm-hmm. So it's Goldstone.
SPEAKER_04Oh, cool. Get that shit out of my hand.
SPEAKER_00It's the uh like the sparkly brown rock.
SPEAKER_04And yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. So it gives ambition, courage, motivation, motivation, and also boost energy.
SPEAKER_04Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_00I felt that I can't believe that you are like Oh, look at that. You think I'm a googly googly or sensitive to these things. Uh oh, by the way, that last one was not in my butt.
SPEAKER_04Oh, well, it smelled like it was. I'm just kidding. Oh God, if I hit my fucking face on this thing right now.
SPEAKER_06Okay. Um Okay, so this one this one makes me feel like clarity.
SPEAKER_04Like my like mindfulness or um like kind of like I can.
SPEAKER_00I don't know how I can feel this. So this is wait, what color is it?
SPEAKER_04Turquoise.
SPEAKER_00No.
SPEAKER_04Okay, wait.
SPEAKER_00You keep saying turquoise. Is that the only one that you can do?
SPEAKER_04I said the hemat hemat.
SPEAKER_00I'll give you a hint. I don't have that one.
SPEAKER_04Oh.
SPEAKER_00The hematite or whatever.
SPEAKER_04Okay, fine. This is a no, we already had agate.
SPEAKER_00This is amethyst. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04This makes me feel like nature and adventury.
SPEAKER_00Uh so it's for luck, prosperity, and emotional healing.
SPEAKER_04Oh, well, okay. Maybe it's the emotional healing. Alright, maybe I got that one wrong.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I mean, but well, and that was 'Cause kind of I don't know how you how do you feel lucky?
SPEAKER_04I'm feeling lucky. Oh. Big old nugget.
SPEAKER_06Ooh, this is smooth. This one is amethyst. I'm right, aren't I?
SPEAKER_00No, so God damn. I realized that no, I'm saying like trying to give you like saying yes or no.
SPEAKER_04Well don't. I know you can't. Sorry.
SPEAKER_06Um I would say I don't know, sounds kind of making me a little jittery. Like uh excitement, maybe? Or I need to use a different word. Um like I could go out and do a bunch of stuff.
SPEAKER_04Like energetic, maybe? Like more energy coming from this stone.
SPEAKER_00That is red jade. Oh, okay. And I have this in my it supports physical stamina.
SPEAKER_04Didn't I just say I could go out and do a bunch of shit?
SPEAKER_00Courage. I am so smart. Grounding and combing.
SPEAKER_04Okay. It's the stamina.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. That's so honestly, I am very shocked of this. Like, holy fuck, like you being able to get a lot of these, like, kind of sort of spot on, but I so a lot of these are like very vague.
SPEAKER_06This one like makes me feel like at peace. And like I don't know, kind of like just very relaxed. Like the stress just melted away. Like more.
SPEAKER_04Kind of like when I've said like that mental clarity kind of. But maybe like I could be lucky.
SPEAKER_06And this is Jade.
SPEAKER_00This is turquoise.
SPEAKER_04Oh my god, the one fucking time I can't say it.
SPEAKER_00Right. The one the one time.
SPEAKER_04Well, you're like, why would you say turquoise?
SPEAKER_00So this is like totally protection, healing, communication, luck.
SPEAKER_04I said I could be lucky.
SPEAKER_00Oh I don't know how you fucking feel luck.
SPEAKER_04I don't know, but we're gonna go and get lottery tickets and stuff.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that we are going oh we are going to test some of these out.
SPEAKER_04Except I didn't say turquoise, I said jade.
SPEAKER_00Um okay, so I I might skip a couple of these because it's kinda some of them are a little bit of like a rerun.
SPEAKER_06Um Okay, this we'll do this one. Tiger eye I like when you guess I'm not gonna tell you what it is. Um This makes me feel like I don't know, like uh like w like I like courageous, like wisdom, like feel smart holding this.
SPEAKER_04Maybe like in connection to like nature.
SPEAKER_00Well, this is Maramba Amethyst. And this is to calming protect negative energy and calm the mind.
SPEAKER_04Huh. Okay, I got that one wrong.
SPEAKER_00Um, okay, let's skip some. I mean, because we don't need to do like fucking 45 minutes of like kind of the same thing.
SPEAKER_04Oh fool's gold. Oh shit. But isn't like fool's gold or no, it's not fool's gold. It's gotta be maybe it's like a gold nugget of sort.
SPEAKER_06Like prosperity, success, fortune.
SPEAKER_00Good fortune. How do you feel like holding like what is it, what is a giving off? Because I feel like now you're just trying to guess.
SPEAKER_04Like, no, like I feel like you can like I don't know.
SPEAKER_06Like it's like a I mean, physically it feels rough. Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_04But it's like that right, like it's not smooth, so it doesn't feel as calming, I would say. But like some of the other ones when I felt like anxious or like it was almost like a tingly sensation. This just feels like sturdy, like stability, like a sturdy rock in my hand.
SPEAKER_00Like an actual rock. Because that one's not polished like the other one.
SPEAKER_04I feel like this is just a fucking rock from your fucking outside. This is like this is just gravel from your this is peacock ore.
SPEAKER_00Oh it's very shiny, like you know, when like oil is like in water and it has that like oh yeah.
SPEAKER_04Is that what it looks like?
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Oh, cool.
SPEAKER_00Uh and it's for happiness, joy, and positivity.
SPEAKER_04Oh well.
SPEAKER_00And you felt none of them. You've been getting worse at this. Okay, so we might just do one more. Let's see.
SPEAKER_04Okay, let's see if I can get this one right.
SPEAKER_00What should we end on?
SPEAKER_04I figured it was from your fucking gravel pit or something.
SPEAKER_00Okay, well we'll end on this one, and then I'll I'll actually give you like some of these because I'm pretty sure these are fake.
SPEAKER_06Okay, this one. Oops. This one is soothing. Um not soothing. I don't know. Now I feel like a little burst of energy. But still like a calming energy.
SPEAKER_04Like relaxed, but yeah, like more How do you feel about it? But I can feel like energy though.
SPEAKER_00How do you feel about yourself?
SPEAKER_04I mean, I feel fine. So I feel like self-esteem booster?
SPEAKER_00Uh Dragon Jasper.
SPEAKER_04Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_00Uh promotes courage, removing self-doubt. Oh, uh, stability, and boost energy.
SPEAKER_04Oh my god. I felt didn't I say uh no? I felt like I had an energy boost.
SPEAKER_00Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_04That's so weird.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_00Okay.
SPEAKER_04Okay. So am I good to unblindfold?
SPEAKER_00No, let me damn it.
SPEAKER_04Now you're just giving me fake rocks?
SPEAKER_00So I I bought these and I because I was just gonna do it about these.
SPEAKER_06But do you feel anything? Mm-mm. Like I just no, like I just feel like cold.
SPEAKER_04You like that cold feeling they get? Like when you get like tingly a little bit? That's what that feels like.
SPEAKER_00No, I don't know. You don't know, you don't get that? Do I get tingly?
SPEAKER_04No, I don't feel anything. I mean, I feel tingly, but I think it's because I'm cold.
SPEAKER_06Uh well, so what about what about this? I mean, maybe no, like a little less cold, maybe.
SPEAKER_00Okay, so and I I swear I think these are all just plastic. You can take your blind.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, it feels like it feels excuse me.
SPEAKER_00Because I gave you the the turquoise one first and then like a rose quartz or whatever. But I I'm pretty sure these are all plastic. Yeah, like I don't think those are scratching that one. Like you can see, like, you know, like we're oh yeah, like for a lot of them, you were like pretty darn close. Uh, this is that peacock orb.
SPEAKER_04Oh, that's cool. Oh my goodness, these are cool. So So I'm a witch.
SPEAKER_00Further testing. Well, you were getting worse like as we went on. But further testing, which ones should we take with us? Let's see. Um well, the one that I said was luck.
SPEAKER_04This wait, oh yeah, turquoise for sure. Isn't that what I said it was lucky?
SPEAKER_06And this one. And did I get any of the colors right? What about the one I said blue?
SPEAKER_00No.
SPEAKER_04Damn.
SPEAKER_00The all of the blue were at the end, and I didn't even we stopped here. Dang it. And I didn't even do that one because that is the same as this. It's just how it's form.
SPEAKER_04Okay, what's it about?
SPEAKER_00But I thought it would like fuck you up, but I didn't I didn't feel like doing it.
SPEAKER_04What was another lucky one?
SPEAKER_00Basically, just these two are the most um luck ones.
SPEAKER_04I'll throw on my turquoise earnings.
SPEAKER_00It works out because there's two of us.
SPEAKER_04So perfect.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. All right. Um that was fun. Yeah. Um, we just got five dollar scratchers uh with our stuff with our lucky rocks. And let's see if we are cajillionaires. Actually, the most that we can win is fifty thousand dollars. So we're gonna win two. We can't even retire.
SPEAKER_04Okay, what do we do here?
SPEAKER_00Uh let's see, match three identical symbols.
SPEAKER_04And you've win the prize, Sean, for that spin. Match. What is that?
SPEAKER_05A nine?
SPEAKER_04And the what's this thing?
SPEAKER_05It's a a nine.
SPEAKER_06Win five times. Here we go. Big time. God, you're going way faster than me.
SPEAKER_05It ain't hard to see, but three of them need the same.
SPEAKER_04Well, you just wait. Time to win. Mine I'll rug down.
SPEAKER_05Alright. I did not win.
SPEAKER_04Which oh no, it's a ladybug. It's trickery. See, I'd like to really.
SPEAKER_05Just need a lightning bull.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I needed that.
SPEAKER_05Alright, come on. To win the bonus.
SPEAKER_06Oh wing!
SPEAKER_04I got a lightning symbol.
SPEAKER_05Ten dollars.
SPEAKER_04Hold the phone. Maybe there's more.
SPEAKER_06What if I win another lightning symbol?
SPEAKER_05Well, I hope so.
SPEAKER_04So you just gotta rub your rock on it. You didn't do it. Oh moon. I won ten dollars technically five because this was a five-dollar ticket.
SPEAKER_05Well, yeah, so winner, winner. I guess technically you won.
SPEAKER_04Because I touched all the rocks.
SPEAKER_05But we're gonna double down.
SPEAKER_04We are.
SPEAKER_05Should we put that into kino?
SPEAKER_04We're gonna go play kino. I mean we're gonna win.
SPEAKER_05Because we are gamblers. That is true. We do with our rocks.
SPEAKER_04Alright. I'm gonna go get my winnings. Here we are.
SPEAKER_00All right.
SPEAKER_04We at a neighborhood wand.
SPEAKER_00We doubled down. We're playing Kino. And for anybody that doesn't know what Kino is, it is uh it's yeah, it's you pick numbers.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, it's kind of like bingo.
SPEAKER_01It's the luck of the draw.
SPEAKER_00But uh, so we we did it a two-song. Each one of us picked a number.
SPEAKER_04If I already won ten dollars at a scratch op ticket, we're gonna win like at least one weight.
SPEAKER_05At least a billion. Like, well, we have to get enough to retire off of.
SPEAKER_04Well, that's when I win my million. What did I get? Some lifetime millions for a lifetime or something?
SPEAKER_05Yeah, millionaire for life.
SPEAKER_04When does that get uh those numbers get called?
SPEAKER_05Every day.
SPEAKER_04Oh.
SPEAKER_00So tomorrow?
SPEAKER_04I'll find out tomorrow if I'm a millionaire for life.
SPEAKER_00I mean, I I play it every day.
SPEAKER_04I'm pretty sure with this. And this, I will be.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I'm I'm leaving all of the stones with her so that I'd won. Uh yeah. Cause she actually felt all of it.
SPEAKER_05And all right, so uh We did not win.
SPEAKER_04We didn't win. Um, but that means I'm gonna for sure win the whatever million for life. But we did win this beef jerky.
SPEAKER_00Oh, just so you know, like maybe this this is like a 50-50, so we split it. We have these.
SPEAKER_04We did.
SPEAKER_00Well, if you win the millionaire for life.
SPEAKER_04Oh, oh well, we'll see though.
SPEAKER_05Uh yeah.
SPEAKER_04Depends on who lives longer, you know what I mean? Um, but then we won this. So maybe, or it might be on my bill. We'll see.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. So we possibly didn't win.
SPEAKER_04That is correct.
SPEAKER_06So we sucked.
SPEAKER_05Moral of the story is don't gamble with rocks.
SPEAKER_06And well, maybe how would you say that tomorrow?
SPEAKER_04After I win million error.
SPEAKER_00You're not gonna win.
SPEAKER_04Bang! Yeah, let's see if that's on my bill.
SPEAKER_00Hopefully, we won a gazillion dollars.
SPEAKER_04Oh, yeah, we're gonna for sure go get some tickets or something.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Uh, which you you'll have already found out if we won or not. We don't know yet. We don't know. But uh, like always, we love you guys. And please like and subscribe and pretend to be kind to each other. Bye.
SPEAKER_06Bye.