Episode 29: The Lockness Monster

In this cryptid episode we explore if the lockness monster can even be real.

Transcript

SPEAKER_04 0:00

You ready? Okay.

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Ooh ooh. It's the tip of the tongue. The tip of the tongue.

SPEAKER_04 0:08

What are you doing? Ooh.

SPEAKER_00 0:10

It's like my vocal warm-up. For what I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 0:17

Can we just fucking start it? I thought Okay.

SPEAKER_02 0:41

So welcome everybody to Comedyville Horror Podcast. We are your host. I'm Russ. I'm Tosh. And this week's episode, we're talking about a cryptid.

SPEAKER_00 0:51

Yes.

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A big cryptid. The biggest maybe, actually.

SPEAKER_00 0:55

We don't know that.

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Well, yeah. But we're talking about the Loch Nest Monster.

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Ness.

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So get yourself a libation. Sit on down.

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Buckle in.

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Because fellas. We have so much information about this cryptid.

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We do.

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And there's we're gonna have like a series. We're gonna periodically do a little cryptid episode just talking about what we know.

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What's out there, the mystery behind it, the folklore.

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So uh before we get into this, the legend. Can I just rant about something that's stupid?

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Here we go.

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Have you noticed a local fast food restaurant? It's called Runza.

SPEAKER_00 1:36

And for people that don't know, it's like a staple in Nebraska.

SPEAKER_02 1:40

Yeah, it's their runza sandwich is like a it's like a loaf of bread with like hamburger and cabbage in it.

SPEAKER_00 1:48

Like inside of it. It's fun.

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But they used to be they used to be bigger and made with love.

SPEAKER_00 1:54

And like connected. Now it's just like a like it falls apart.

SPEAKER_02 1:59

Yeah. But so all of them are doing like a remodel. Have you noticed this?

SPEAKER_00 2:04

No. I don't go there.

SPEAKER_02 2:05

Yeah, I don't either. But just driving, I've seen it a bunch of times. And like the fucking the sign like by the road for Runza.

SPEAKER_04 2:15

Yeah.

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It says homemade fresh. A fast food.

SPEAKER_00 2:22

I find that very hard to believe.

SPEAKER_02 2:24

A restaurant. I've that we have to sue them.

SPEAKER_00 2:26

I feel like that's false action.

SPEAKER_02 2:28

It cannot be homemade if it's made at a fucking fast food restaurant.

SPEAKER_00 2:32

Well, it's not a home.

SPEAKER_02 2:33

Yeah. It ha yeah, to be homemade, it has to be made in a home, you fucks. I hate how we we have become so accustomed to just being lied to.

SPEAKER_04 2:48

Yeah.

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All the time.

SPEAKER_04 2:50

Always.

SPEAKER_02 2:51

Like uh So at the time of recording, uh last night there was a a shooting at the White House. Mm-hmm. And I'm pretty sure it's all staged because I was thinking the same. An hour later, he was like uh he gave a press conference like immediately, which is like there wasn't enough stuff going on like to draw attention. Mm-hmm. But it's also like he immediately was like, see that the Hilton where this was at, the security just it it's not a very secure place. That's why we need this elaborate ballroom at the White House that we ran out of money because we deported all the people that were building it. I'm pretty sure it's all staged so that he can just get government funding for it instead.

SPEAKER_00 3:44

Oh, probably.

SPEAKER_02 3:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:47

Maybe. Who knows? Why? But I was thinking that. I'm like, is it like too much, you know, has there been too much press on, you know, the attacks and the war and like whatever?

SPEAKER_02 4:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:01

That now we need like, oh, feel bad for me. Somebody tried to do it.

SPEAKER_02 4:04

Because it's always, yeah, exactly. It's always like whenever there's something like Epstein files, somebody shot him in the ear.

SPEAKER_00 4:12

Like, I mean, I don't know.

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And then there's the whole he's talking about like pardoning just Lyon Maxwell. And it's like, okay, so if you do, you're literally saying that you're a monster and everything is true. I mean, and I don't understand.

SPEAKER_00 4:30

I don't know. Seems very political.

SPEAKER_02 4:32

If Epstein was murdered in prison, which I think he was, probably by the current Epstein administration.

SPEAKER_00 4:39

Maybe.

SPEAKER_02 4:42

But like why why have they not just fucking murdered Gislaine Maxwell? She keeps threatening to fucking, you know, sing like a canary.

unknown 4:49

I have no idea.

SPEAKER_02 4:50

Like, just murder.

SPEAKER_00 4:52

Okay, wow. Millet's cut that out.

SPEAKER_02 4:54

No, it's just f well.

SPEAKER_00 4:57

I mean but it's we do not condone murder.

SPEAKER_02 5:01

No, yeah. Not at all. But I'm just saying, like, if they did it so easily with the guy, like, why not like the handler?

SPEAKER_00 5:12

So, like, that's like a different situation.

SPEAKER_02 5:15

He was what?

SPEAKER_00 5:16

He was like imprisoned. So is she different.

SPEAKER_02 5:18

She's in prison.

SPEAKER_00 5:19

Well, then what are you?

SPEAKER_02 5:20

She's in like a a nice prison.

SPEAKER_00 5:22

Yeah, I'm sure it's like fancy. It's like the Ritz-Carlton of the Waldorf of prisons. Um well, I don't know, but let's get into monsters or a form of monster. And we're talking about the Lochness monster.

SPEAKER_02 5:36

Nessie.

SPEAKER_00 5:36

Yeah, old Nessie. But also known as Champ. Right? Because the most common or the uh what am I trying to say? The area that there's been the most sightings is in Lake Champlain. Champaign.

SPEAKER_02 6:00

I think that's a different monster.

SPEAKER_00 6:01

I mean, I think it's technically supposed to be the same one. Yeah, but and that's really like where it the folklore kind of began.

SPEAKER_02 6:11

Yeah. Um because it like it all started. This whole thing was was he a fucking dentist or something? The guy that took the black and white photo.

SPEAKER_00 6:23

He was a scientist.

SPEAKER_02 6:24

Was he?

SPEAKER_00 6:25

Or surgeon.

SPEAKER_02 6:26

A doctor. Yeah. I think because it's called the surgeon, surgeon's photo.

SPEAKER_00 6:30

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 6:30

Yeah. And time and time again, that has been debunked.

SPEAKER_04 6:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:34

And I believe on the guy's deathbed, he said that it was like a a submarine or or a boat or something that he put something like some sort of like fake submarine.

SPEAKER_00 6:45

And I think that's the right, that's the question is what these sightings, and I have it listed here. Um like they began, right, in Scotland. Scotland. Um in like 565, like AD, right? Well, or B C. I don't even know.

SPEAKER_02 7:10

People have been on drugs forever. But also, like, I think too, because what what is the town that's on the lock? And something, but they have like totally like encapsulated Loch Ness, like their high school mascot is like fucking Nessie. But I think it was a way to get people to go to this fucking miserable place.

SPEAKER_00 7:36

Do you really think it was miserable though?

SPEAKER_02 7:38

It's rainy all the time.

SPEAKER_00 7:40

Like Well, so the history behind it or the folklore behind it, right? It's when like the sea, right? Like it like created an island or it created it like locked up.

SPEAKER_02 7:53

Yeah, it's like it's being fed from like the the ocean, and then it goes out like a river, I believe.

SPEAKER_00 7:59

Right. And then so that's like the whole like Lake of Champlain, too. Kind of same situation happened where however many years ago, 2,000 years ago, it was part of the Atlantic Ocean, and then right, like it locked up. And so what they believe, or some believe, is that there was some migrant sea creature that got trapped into that freshwater lake and then had to adapt.

SPEAKER_02 8:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:26

Which I don't know. I feel like that could potentially be.

SPEAKER_02 8:32

The visibility is almost zero.

SPEAKER_00 8:34

And the depth, it's almost like um, what's the like lake mean where it's like the depth is like 500 feet?

SPEAKER_02 8:42

No, it's uh 750 feet.

SPEAKER_00 8:45

Something, right? At the middle, it's kind of like a big bowl.

SPEAKER_02 8:48

Well, and they they think they may have found a deep, like a deeper trench in it. But the problem is, so they they have like taken all this sonar, like all this shit to like try and find the monster or whatever. But like they can never replicate anything, even like this trench that they supposedly found, like they couldn't replicate it.

SPEAKER_00 9:13

So um, yeah, so I do have some notes here.

SPEAKER_02 9:18

What do you think uh the Lochness monster eats? Like fucking haggis?

SPEAKER_00 9:25

Haggis?

SPEAKER_02 9:26

Yeah, isn't that like a a Scottish thing?

SPEAKER_00 9:30

I thought it was like spotted dick or something. Spotted dick. You know, that's actually I think it has like raisins in it.

SPEAKER_02 9:37

Spotted cow?

SPEAKER_00 9:38

No, spotted dick. It's literally like a type of food. It's like a Scottish food. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:43

Is it spelled like D-I-C-K or I'm pretty sure? No.

SPEAKER_00 9:48

Yes. Yeah, I saw there was like a can of it that I saw at um what's that fancy world market?

SPEAKER_02 9:55

I I need to see. I please want to see a photo of spotted dick.

SPEAKER_00 10:00

Please let me know what's in it too. Um so it was five 565 AD was Nessie's first bad press, right? Um so according to what the legend says, it was Saint Columba saw a water beast, but then basically came well, the when they found like, I don't know, right? I mean it's 560, so whatever form of written communication they found said that it was the Ten Commandments on stone tablets. And then it talks about a water beast. Um what did they say? It was more like the head of a serp of the head of a serpent and the body of a whale or something like that.

SPEAKER_02 10:40

Oh, that's fucking ketchup. So spotted dick, if you're wondering. It's a traditional British steamed pudding made from sweat, flour, sugar, and dried fruit, usually raisins.

SPEAKER_00 10:55

See, raisins. There's your spots.

SPEAKER_02 10:57

Yeah. It uh dating back to at least the 1850s was a stable, a staple school dinner.

SPEAKER_00 11:05

Mmm, sounds like a very sweet dinner.

SPEAKER_02 11:08

I feel like uh giving children spotted dick should be illegal.

SPEAKER_00 11:15

What are you having for dinner tonight? Spotted dick is on the menu. Um so 1933, that's when like the whole modern Nessie mania exploded, right? That's where like they were like, oh my gosh, this whole like Loch Ness monster thing, it's huge.

SPEAKER_02 11:35

What'd you say 33?

SPEAKER_00 11:36

Yeah, 1933.

SPEAKER_02 11:38

Cause that um that jives with like the time where all of this stuff started happening, like where aliens around that time. Well, so that started like the Roswell, that was what, like was it 40s?

SPEAKER_00 11:57

I think it was 40, like 43 or 44.

SPEAKER_02 11:59

Yeah, so like that where like people started getting real into like what else is there.

SPEAKER_00 12:04

Right. And the reason behind it and why they think that there was more sightings is because coincidentally they had recently built a road around the lock so more people had access to the road.

SPEAKER_02 12:16

More people are there, right?

SPEAKER_00 12:17

Yeah. Like it's not like you're going into the wilderness and like trying to get to water's edge, I guess.

SPEAKER_04 12:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:23

So people would start seeing mysterious humps in the water. However, at this time, there was also more ships. And so a lot of the hoax behind it, or you know, whatever the misinterpretations or misidentifications is that even if you had these large ships, they were creating waves. And normally if they had these creations of these waves, it would be like three separate, like rolling waves. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:53

It looks like humps, but it's it looks like humps. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:56

Like my humps, my humps, my humps, my humps.

SPEAKER_02 12:58

My lovely lady lumps.

SPEAKER_00 12:59

Right, check it out. So um we're we're really good. That's our day job. Or a night gig. Uh so that's where you know people would say, like, oh no, it's just a floating log.

SPEAKER_02 13:13

Um, you know, but I think most of the time it's other other things that people cause the human brain is crazy where like we will finish a connection in our head. You know what I mean? Like we'll see something that like we don't understand, but then we'll finish it.

SPEAKER_00 13:34

Well, it's perception versus reality, right?

SPEAKER_02 13:37

Yeah. And I think that's what a lot of it too is that like for all of the all cryptids and stuff, is like you see something that like doesn't make sense immediately, but then your brain connects, like, oh, I've seen something similar to that. Yeah, like uh just making up shit, basically.

SPEAKER_00 13:59

Well, you gotta how do you make that perception into a reality, right? So you have to like correlate it with something else.

SPEAKER_02 14:07

Yeah, like that's that's the difference with like being the first one.

SPEAKER_00 14:11

Well, so that was 1934, was the surgeon's photograph. So you you were talking about that. So that's the most famous Nessie photo, right? That like everyone has seen that.

SPEAKER_02 14:20

Yeah, every everybody's seen that photo. And it's been debunked.

SPEAKER_00 14:24

And then um so it turns out that it was a toy submarine, right? With a monster head glued on top of it. So that's when so it was the 50s to the 70s, so you are correct that this is like the peak of like everybody wanted to find a monster.

SPEAKER_02 14:42

Everybody wanted to And what do you think that like I think a lot of it was probably new equipment.

SPEAKER_00 14:49

People tourists.

SPEAKER_02 14:51

I think people in general need to have something else in life. Like it can't just be like fucking cut and dry.

SPEAKER_00 15:00

Hold please. You're just gonna have to chill out with everybody lay down.

SPEAKER_04 15:09

Not there. God damn it. Just lay down. I can sit.

SPEAKER_00 15:27

No, when we dissociated. I don't know. When is interesting?

SPEAKER_02 15:32

Okay. Oh where were we before? We were so rudely interrupted. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:40

Oh, we were talking about like why? Like why was it that 50%?

SPEAKER_02 15:42

Well 'cause in human nature is always like there's gotta be more right? Right. Like just like religion and stuff, I think, is like people always expect there to just be more than what we can see. And I think that's a lot of like what all of cryptids are is well, I think we want there to be more.

SPEAKER_00 16:07

I mean, I think we, you know, don't want to think that we're like like the only I don't know how to do it.

SPEAKER_02 16:16

Like we've we've intelligent all already. You know what I mean? Like it's like when you get to the end of it, then it's how boring done.

SPEAKER_00 16:24

Right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:27

Like it's it's still a mystery. Well, so I think that's where And then people get boners if they think that they see it. They're like, oh yeah, I s I saw Nessie.

SPEAKER_00 16:36

I mean, and but like there's people who have literally devoted their entire lives to finding like big things.

SPEAKER_02 16:44

How the fuck is there money in that? There cannot be. They have to be Nepo babies or something.

SPEAKER_00 16:50

And they got so that's also why they think like the 50 50s to the 70s was like a big like, right? Like everybody's gonna go research and like it was like the boom of trying to find these like.

SPEAKER_02 17:01

Yeah, because there was there was a big thing of uh well, because sonar was invented. Well and uh just like because I want to say like uh 30s, 40s, 50s, that was a big treasure hunting thing too, like where everyone was trying to go to like ancient places and you know, like all the all that shit was on their minds figured outs, I swear to God.

SPEAKER_00 17:38

Yeah, so pretty much like that's kind of funny. So every ripple in the water during that time, they're like that's Nessie. Every log floating downstream, that's Nessie.

SPEAKER_02 17:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:49

Everyone knew they would get their name in the paper.

SPEAKER_02 17:54

So people were like trying to, you know, like I want to be famous for seeing, you know.

SPEAKER_00 18:01

Then it became like all this money was coming into the the city, the town of people, researchers, and like tourists, right?

SPEAKER_02 18:09

Cryptozoologist.

SPEAKER_00 18:10

And so they're like, oh my gosh, the more we can get this name in the paper, the more money we can make, right? For our locals. So that was a huge thing.

SPEAKER_02 18:20

Um I mean, because if I went there, I'm totally buying like a little fucking Loch Ness Monster plush toy.

SPEAKER_00 18:27

Oh you know, like I mean, I want like a sticker for big. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_02 18:30

Like if I if I did go there, I I would I would have so much shit.

SPEAKER_00 18:35

I mean, absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 18:36

Well, like I I was just at a a metal show and went up to the merch, I spent so much money on Did you really?

SPEAKER_00 18:45

What what show was it?

SPEAKER_02 18:46

Lorna Shore insert video here. Future me. Because they wanted to sell the merch. So they had like the venue, the steelhouse employees selling the merch.

SPEAKER_04 20:58

Oh.

SPEAKER_02 20:59

And like I get it, like, so like they go on a tour, right? They got one of their friends probably to sell the merch. So they the plane ticket, they're paying them, you know, like a salary or whatever to sell the merch.

SPEAKER_00 21:15

They had to have the people the workers, the employees of the place.

SPEAKER_02 21:19

Of the venue had to sell it. And I'm sure they wanted to take a cut of it too.

SPEAKER_00 21:24

That's ridiculous.

SPEAKER_02 21:25

Yeah, like it's it's such bullshit.

SPEAKER_00 21:27

They own merch.

SPEAKER_02 21:28

Yeah, exactly. And that's most of these bands, unless you're the headliner, you're not making money off of ticket sales. You're making money off of merch. This is their livelihood.

SPEAKER_00 21:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:38

And you're trying to take a percentage of that livelihood.

SPEAKER_00 21:42

Like they won't be coming back to that venue.

SPEAKER_02 21:45

Probably not.

SPEAKER_00 21:45

You know, that sucks.

SPEAKER_02 21:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:48

Well, so I watch your bath. Back to but you bought a blot of burnt. We're talking about how much shit we have. I know.

SPEAKER_02 23:04

Well, but it's like I want to support.

SPEAKER_00 23:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:08

You know.

SPEAKER_00 23:09

Well, yeah, then you'll have to go to another show.

SPEAKER_02 23:14

I'll just fucking I'll just go online. Yeah, buy it online. Like come straight from them. Like, I don't give a shit about shipping.

SPEAKER_00 23:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:22

Like it's a lot better than corporate greed fucking taking shit.

SPEAKER_00 23:25

There's a lot.

SPEAKER_02 23:26

Yeah. No, there's not. I've never heard of that.

SPEAKER_00 23:29

Whatever.

SPEAKER_02 23:29

Nobody has ever profited off of anything bad.

SPEAKER_00 23:32

Dear God. Somebody's really on a fucking soapbox today.

SPEAKER_02 23:35

It's because it's just it keeps it keeps going. Like we want like four years of nothing. Like just crickets.

SPEAKER_00 23:45

That's not gonna happen. So let's go back to what what people truly thought and some still believe Nessie is. A prehistoric, is it plot plesiosaur?

SPEAKER_04 24:03

Pleiasiosaur.

SPEAKER_00 24:04

Pleiasiosaur, which in so they have like they found some ancient bones of it, this thing, right?

SPEAKER_02 24:10

What who did?

SPEAKER_00 24:11

I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 24:12

A fucking the local drunk.

SPEAKER_00 24:14

Look it up. No, it's crazy looking. So in talking about it possibly being like some sort of migrant, right? Like prehistoric sea creature that has adapted because it needed to adapt. It either died or it could be.

SPEAKER_02 24:27

It could live that long. Like a single one.

SPEAKER_00 24:30

So yes. Why? Because I recently caught a sturgeon. That's right. A shovel nose sturgeon. Insert photo here. Boop for future rests.

SPEAKER_02 24:42

How big was it?

SPEAKER_00 24:43

Um it was it was a good size.

SPEAKER_02 24:46

Oh, so that's just a little one.

SPEAKER_00 24:48

Right, but shovel nose do not get as big as a pallid, which they say pallid sturgeons are even more prehistoric. This thing is wild. Have you ever like caught one or held one?

SPEAKER_02 25:00

Well, I no. Like they've watched the uh river monster. Or what was it? Was it a show? Yeah, River Monsters.

SPEAKER_00 25:07

Well, so these so typically like the original, like, right, like the giant lake sturgeons, even like up north, can they're huge, they can get huge. I mean, these things are gigantic.

SPEAKER_04 25:17

Six feet.

SPEAKER_00 25:18

Oh, yeah, if not bigger.

SPEAKER_04 25:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:21

So the thought that I mean, even here in Nebraska, you can go to a river and catch one.

SPEAKER_02 25:29

Yeah. Can you imagine like but a single one living that long?

SPEAKER_00 25:36

We don't know how deep that water is.

SPEAKER_02 25:39

No, we no, we do know how deep that water. I literally told you 750 feet.

SPEAKER_00 25:44

I was talking about Lake Mead in Nevada.

SPEAKER_02 25:49

Yeah. It's fucking it's drying up.

SPEAKER_00 25:51

Oh my god. Okay, whatever. Anyway, so it's 750. That's so it's deep, right?

SPEAKER_02 25:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:55

There's probably like caves and like all sorts of things. So we don't know what's living in there. Anyways, it could be some type of sturgeon, a prehistoric fish. Or is it a giant eel?

SPEAKER_02 26:11

The eel doesn't make much sense to me. I mean, there are like freshwater eels.

SPEAKER_00 26:17

Well, it was like humps.

SPEAKER_02 26:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:19

It's there are freshwater eels and they're freaky.

SPEAKER_02 26:23

Yeah. You can go to that that big?

SPEAKER_00 26:27

Uh yeah, guaranteed.

SPEAKER_02 26:29

No, not not for as big as people claim. I like it, yeah, it might have a pituitary gland issue or something to get freakishly large, like an NBA player or something. Oh my god. But seriously.

SPEAKER_00 26:45

Whatever. It could have been, oh, look, a giant sturgeon. Some sort of a like version of like an old prehistoric dinosaur that's water like adapted to I think one of my biggest things is so it it it's obviously eating fish, right?

SPEAKER_02 27:05

Right. I don't think that there would be a no like a giant monster creature would run out of food in that so fast.

SPEAKER_00 27:18

Well, there's also talks that it can move to land.

SPEAKER_02 27:24

If it fucking evolved and grew legs.

SPEAKER_00 27:27

I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 27:28

It's it's just eating people.

SPEAKER_00 27:29

If it's a water horse, yeah, it clearly needs to go have some hay or something. Or maybe it's adapted to both eating fish and plankton and people berries or leaves.

SPEAKER_02 27:47

It probably has a little Betty White out there, like put in a cow. Yeah, that's right. Like leg placid.

SPEAKER_00 27:55

I mean, so like hoaxes, right, got pretty weird, but people have faked footprints, photos, monster heads, like carcasses. Like they've literally like I mean, I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 28:07

Have I ever told you about the we met this guy, special needs, and he like he claimed that he owned a Bigfoot skull.

SPEAKER_00 28:19

Okay, wait, so this guy he claimed he had a Bigfoot skull.

SPEAKER_02 28:23

And I was like, Did you find it? He's like, No, I bought it on eBay. I'm like, Okay. Definitely real. It's probably like a good And he showed me the listing and it was like$600. I'm like, you you poor baby.

SPEAKER_00 28:37

Well, somebody took advantage of that.

SPEAKER_02 28:38

Don't be spending your disability money on that.

SPEAKER_00 28:42

Right. That was not a good financial decision.

SPEAKER_02 28:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:45

Some like at all. I mean, but then again, I buy taxidermy.

SPEAKER_02 28:51

Well, yeah, fucking financial decisions. Like, my fucking teeth are gonna cost a fucking fortune.

SPEAKER_00 29:00

What do you have to have done?

SPEAKER_02 29:01

Well, so first, uh, which uh the episodes might get because I don't know how how bad it's gonna be.

SPEAKER_00 29:08

Your teeth look fine. I like you said you there were there's a cracked one though, right?

SPEAKER_02 29:12

Well, yeah, and I haven't been to the dentist in almost 20 years. So the first part is like uh two straight weeks of uh they have to like peel back my gums.

SPEAKER_04 29:26

Oh to clean. Oh, ow.

SPEAKER_02 29:29

Yeah, like and they they're only doing half of it at a time because they have to like numb me and yeah, they have to use like a fucking like a laser and shit. Yeah, it's it's a lot of this is just to start it. Like, this isn't even like doing any of the fillings. I don't know if I'll do it this year, but I have to get all of my wisdom teeth taken out because one of them is like Oh, you haven't done that? No. I haven't been to the dentist since I was 17 You have all your wisdom teeth? Yeah. So you have six wisdom impacted. Yeah, like it's uh smashed. And so it's gonna be like a they'll have to fucking dig it out.

SPEAKER_00 30:15

That's what I had two that were impacted and had them but that was like, I mean I think it was like twenty.

SPEAKER_02 30:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:22

But they had to like crut like almost like crush it to like dig it out. Yeah. Or whatever.

SPEAKER_02 30:26

Like mine's already like crushed.

SPEAKER_00 30:28

And then they've left a piece of tooth in my bone, in my jawbone, and it created like an abscess, and I didn't know. Like I woke up one morning and I was like, Well, who were my first? Super fucking swollen. And I had to go back in because I didn't have insurance at the time. So I was a demo at like the school of dentistry, and so it was like half off, like it was super cheap, right?

SPEAKER_02 30:54

If you're like still expensive, it was ridiculous.

SPEAKER_00 30:57

I mean, I was fucking, I was a poor college student, and so I went in and I was like, something's wrong, like my face is swollen. And they're like, We can try to give you Novacaine to numb it, but it's so swollen, like we have to go back in and get that because they had to do another x-ray, which was painful in itself, because you gotta like move your jaw forward and it couldn't. And they're like, Oh, there's a piece of tooth left, so we have to go in and like irrigate it, like get it cleaned out. No anesthetic, like nothing, no anesthetic. And the Novocaine didn't work. It was the one of the how are you not like oh you can't. I mean, I couldn't. I was like, like I just had like tears coming down my face.

SPEAKER_02 31:40

Like it was just this I know like we we already had fears, but this is like doing anything with teeth. That's why I haven't fucking gone in fucking 20 years.

SPEAKER_00 31:52

Fuck contacts. Nope.

SPEAKER_02 31:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:56

So then you so then you have that done, and then what? Then you have cavities?

SPEAKER_02 32:00

Yeah. Uh yeah, doing all the fillings, which 20 years worth of fillings is a lot. But like on the bright side, like none of them are deep.

SPEAKER_00 32:11

Oh, that's good. They're like more surface.

SPEAKER_02 32:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 32:13

So like Can't they just knock you out for all of this?

SPEAKER_02 32:16

I wish like just fucking just rip all of my teeth out and give me fucking titanium teeth. That way, like, this never happened.

SPEAKER_00 32:25

I don't have to keep fucking- even like veneers, like people who get veneers, they like have to shave them out.

SPEAKER_02 32:30

I know, like, that's so fucking crazy to me because like Can you imagine the sensitivity?

unknown 32:34

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 32:35

And like Oh my god, I have to use sensitivity.

SPEAKER_02 32:37

There's no going back. You start that and then you have like little dagger teeth for the rest of your life.

SPEAKER_00 32:45

And then you become the what's that guy that's like the lizard man? Like that's his teeth, you know? Fuck that. So yeah, so we'll figure out what that looks like. But so pretty much like why? Like, why does Nessie still endure to this day? I mean, this has been how many years?

SPEAKER_02 33:03

Like, yeah, I think now it's not so much of like, is Nessie real? I think now it's the belief in the idea of Nessie now.

SPEAKER_00 33:14

Right. It's the mystery, the folklore, like murky water, and people going, well, what if there's something crazy in there? Like a dinosaur, like a prehistoric.

SPEAKER_02 33:23

I mean, they've they've done so many scans of that entire block that it's like there's no fucking way, you know?

SPEAKER_00 33:32

I don't know. I mean, I'm do I think that there's a lot I don't know if I believe in like a Lochness monster. Like I said, I would believe in some sort of like more larger or more like evolved, like lake sturgeon that is just huge. And because they're so creepy looking and so prehistoric looking that it'd be easy to confuse. Yeah, and because they're bottom dwellers, right? People don't typically see them surfacing. Do they surface probably during a spawn? Probably, right? I mean it's like why, right? Like whales surface. I mean, they're mammals, like eventually, like they have to come up for air.

SPEAKER_04 34:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:22

Right. So could there be something similar that has adapted that maybe originally But I feel like in order to adapt would take generations. It has. I mean, I told you it was multiple nessies that are fucking in order to Well, maybe that's why there were so many What am I trying to like so many people saying that they saw so many sightings because there were more. And now, who knows, right? Like who knows what water pollution's in there and like all this other shit.

SPEAKER_02 34:57

But wouldn't wouldn't that maybe they died off? Body of washed up by now? Like if if there were multiple.

SPEAKER_00 35:04

What if they weigh so much?

SPEAKER_02 35:09

They're just full of rocks.

SPEAKER_00 35:10

Well, they could be in a cave system.

SPEAKER_02 35:12

Maybe they eat rocks.

SPEAKER_00 35:13

Maybe there's cave system. Maybe they do. Like there could be some sort of cave system that nobody has ever found and nobody knows about because the water is so murky. That's where they just go to die.

SPEAKER_02 35:25

Well, I do believe that's right on a fault line. Like that's why it's so deep. Maybe it goes down into the center of the earth.

SPEAKER_00 35:32

And we'll never know.

SPEAKER_02 35:34

Or will we? We need a billionaire in like a Home Depot submarine to go down there.

SPEAKER_00 35:45

I mean, yeah. So the historical assessment. Probably not a monster, a prehistoric monster. But she's pretty famous. Yeah. So that's cool.

SPEAKER_02 35:57

It's it's it's mostly the idea that people are latching on to.

SPEAKER_00 36:02

And I think that's you don't believe there's some that there is something that could be out there that we don't know about.

SPEAKER_02 36:07

Not a fucking lake monster. Because that's so much easier than like like Bigfoot could be anywhere. A lake monster is literally in a fucking lake. Like that's uh a much smaller area to investigate than the entire world. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 36:26

I mean, I don't know. There's so much on it, like you could go for years and years.

SPEAKER_02 36:32

I think it's it's the idea. It's not so much of an actual monster.

SPEAKER_00 36:38

I don't think it's a monster, but I think it's something prehistoric that has adapted. That's my theory.

SPEAKER_02 36:44

And with that, I think we we Scooby-dooed this shit. We solved it.

SPEAKER_00 36:48

We solved the mystery of Nessie.

SPEAKER_02 36:50

So thank you everyone for listening and watching or whatever, whatever it is that you do.

SPEAKER_00 36:56

Whatever.

SPEAKER_02 36:57

Jerk off. I don't know. I don't care.

SPEAKER_00 36:59

We don't. And treat yourself.

SPEAKER_02 37:02

Yeah. Please pretend to be kind to each other.

SPEAKER_00 37:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 37:05

We love you.

SPEAKER_00 37:06

Peace.