Episode 31: Executions can be fun!

This week we talk about some of the fun ways people have been executed.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

So Russ, what would your last what would you want for your last meal if you were like, let's say on death row?

SPEAKER_01 0:06

My last meal uh a baby chicken.

SPEAKER_02 0:12

What?

SPEAKER_01 0:13

Yeah, like you you have the little egg and then you you tap it with a spoon and then a little baby chick comes out and then you no are you talking like a Cornish hen? No, just uh an alive baby chicken.

SPEAKER_00 0:49

Or really going out with a bang.

SPEAKER_01 0:51

I think it would be funny though, like to get something like get like Chipotle that like gives you diarrhea on your last day. But then like wouldn't anything give the prisoners diarrhea because they're I just don't know how you could even eat.

SPEAKER_00 1:07

You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 1:08

Who gives a shit? A lot of them just don't. Like they they don't want a last meal. What would your last meal be?

SPEAKER_00 1:20

Well, I mean, let's face it, anything would give me diarrhea at that point. So I'd probably go all out. Like I'd go for like all of the things that I can't ever eat. Like it would be no, well, I mean, yeah, that might kill me. I'm alert. Exactly. So I'd probably do like, yeah, like like Alfredo. Like all of Alfredo. Yeah, like cream-based sauces. Anything cream based. That's what I would go for.

SPEAKER_01 1:49

Or like the cum of an Asian man.

SPEAKER_00 1:52

You know how difficult it would be for them to well, and then they would just be like, no, we're just gonna kill you.

SPEAKER_01 1:59

Yeah, that's you get the the shamrock shake and a McRib.

SPEAKER_00 2:02

Oh my god, I would have like every flavor of a bullet. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:09

So like that'll delay your execution for like a couple years.

SPEAKER_00 2:14

And like real french fries.

SPEAKER_01 2:16

Like real some five guys' french fries.

SPEAKER_00 2:18

Oh, something like that. Something real bad for me.

SPEAKER_01 2:22

What welcome everybody to Comedyville Horror Podcast. We are your host. I'm Russ. I'm Tosh. In this week's episode, we're talking about the fun, wild, wacky world of executions. Executions. So grab a drink, sit on down, listen to us talk about some of the strangest, wildest forms that I did not even know.

SPEAKER_00 2:45

Like I just want to know what wacky person was like, you know what? I feel like this, this right here is a good way to really make it Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:57

And there's there's a lot that we're just not even really gonna talk about. Like the normal, like the hangings.

SPEAKER_00 3:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:03

Like guillotine, you know, stuff like that. Like it's that that's pretty it's mainstream murder.

SPEAKER_00 3:10

I mean, there's some wild stuff, you know. You think like crucifixion was bad for our Lord baby savior.

SPEAKER_01 3:16

Because that that was like the it was a terrible execution back then was crucifix.

SPEAKER_00 3:22

Crucifixion, yeah. Which wow. Wild, right? You would think like, okay, that sounds pretty terrible.

SPEAKER_01 3:29

I mean, I did watch Passion of the Christ.

SPEAKER_00 3:32

Oh, I tried to watch it on Easter and I couldn't find it.

SPEAKER_01 3:35

It's fucking awful.

SPEAKER_00 3:37

Like sad.

SPEAKER_01 3:38

It's one of the worst movies. Because it's fucking two hours of like porn.

SPEAKER_00 3:46

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 3:47

Because it's just like beating the shit out of Jesus the whole time. Sorry.

SPEAKER_02 3:53

Let's come come here. Everybody get over here. Come here. Lay down. How about you?

SPEAKER_00 4:00

So let's like get right into it.

SPEAKER_01 4:02

Well, let's let's talk about some of the current forms of execution, because uh what was it, two days ago? Uh our current president added uh firing squad to federal executions. And so we have the most common is uh lethal injection, and that's usually a three-stage process. It's in uh 34 stage. It it might actually be more than that, but the first one I believe was uh pain.

SPEAKER_00 4:40

It's like a sedative, right?

SPEAKER_01 4:42

Yeah, and then the second one is a paralyzer. And then the third one is to stop your heart. Uh so and then there's also like a a newer one is nitrogen hypoxia.

SPEAKER_02 4:59

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 5:00

Where it's it's a a gas chamber type of thing where they just, I believe, pump in nitrogen so that like oxygen, like you just suffocate, basically.

SPEAKER_02 5:14

That's awful.

SPEAKER_01 5:15

And then there's firing squad. And I don't know if it is true. I've always heard that firing squad is one guy has a real bullet, but they don't know.

SPEAKER_00 5:26

But they don't know who.

SPEAKER_01 5:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:28

I think that's true. That way, like nobody has this guilt.

SPEAKER_01 5:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:33

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 5:34

But I I believe there were some instances where like they all missed. And like the people, like the the condemned would still be alive. Like that would be the most terrifying thing. Like you hear it and you're like, ha ha ha.

SPEAKER_00 5:48

Yeah, and then they're like, well, let's do it again.

SPEAKER_01 5:51

Yeah, they're like, gotta do it again.

SPEAKER_00 5:53

Like you've already trapped yourself and pissed your pants, and like now you're just gonna go through that whole emotion again.

SPEAKER_01 5:59

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00 6:00

And then there's uh I think it would pass out from like fear.

SPEAKER_01 6:03

I yeah, I I'd shit myself.

SPEAKER_00 6:05

Definitely. For sure.

SPEAKER_01 6:08

Unless though, like by the time you're there, you're like, I'm ready. Lord Jesus, take me. I'm sure that's what they say. But so, and then the last one is electrocution.

SPEAKER_00 6:22

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 6:22

It seems old timey because it is old timey, and this is often the second option. Like a the first one didn't fucking work, so we'll just electrocute them.

SPEAKER_00 6:32

Well, I thought like Texas finally got rid of Oh, eight states still do use the electric care?

SPEAKER_01 6:37

Yeah, an option. And I think most of them are like No thanks. The the final option. Like if like lethal injection, because so there's some controversy on where they're getting these drugs.

SPEAKER_00 6:50

Right.

SPEAKER_01 6:50

I believe Nebraska was got sued for their last execution.

SPEAKER_00 6:55

Well, didn't they?

SPEAKER_01 6:56

Because they got like fentanyl from China.

SPEAKER_00 7:00

Well, and hasn't there been like lethal injection where like it didn't work?

SPEAKER_01 7:03

Yeah. There's there's a lot of like botched ones.

SPEAKER_00 7:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:07

Like uh like the gas chamber. It was before it was the nitrogen, it was a cyanide. Like they had a a thing in this gas chamber where they would put the cyanide in a like an acid, I believe, and then it would fill up the chamber. But the problem was they didn't fucking test it to see if it leaked. So like everybody watching got real fucking sick.

SPEAKER_00 7:34

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 7:35

Yeah, the the gas chamber thing was like the shortest run of execution.

SPEAKER_00 7:40

Except for like World War II. I mean.

SPEAKER_01 7:42

Yeah. Well, Hitler, he did a real good job at it.

SPEAKER_00 7:47

Apparently. He and like all the scientists working on that.

SPEAKER_01 7:50

Yeah, but uh, so that that's the the current ones.

SPEAKER_00 7:54

Just terrifying in general. Don't do anything that puts you into you know on death row.

SPEAKER_02 8:00

So how do you feel about state uh executions? What is your opinion on them?

SPEAKER_00 8:11

I go back and forth because do I feel like we as human beings should ever like play God, right? No. I mean but you look at life in prison, how much does that paying how much is how much are we paying as taxpayers to keep somebody in prison for life or feeding them, you know, sometimes they're getting their education, like all of these things, right? But I think when it comes to like, let's say somebody who did like a horrible crime, like murdered someone or a child or something like that in like a horrific manner, I think whatever manner they murdered someone in should get they get payback. That same way. I don't know. You know, there's the eye for an eye, but also I don't know. I mean, I I've never like right, like I've never been in that experience where like I'd know somebody who murdered someone and like or someone who got murdered, what would be my thoughts behind it?

SPEAKER_01 9:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:16

I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 9:16

You know, I think there's so many ifs behind it, but see, and my opinion is well, let me ask you this. When is it ever morally right to kill a human being?

SPEAKER_00 9:30

Well, that's what I'm saying. Like never.

SPEAKER_01 9:32

No, it's never morally especially when the state is doing it in all of our names.

SPEAKER_00 9:40

Right. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 9:42

And like with the how much you know, prison cost, stop giving them fucking all these resources. They have more shit than I do, and I'm not in prison. You know, like fuck three square meals a day?

SPEAKER_02 10:01

Fuck I don't even get that food.

SPEAKER_01 10:04

Yeah, and like all of the And I don't know, like is death right the healthcare that they get? Like I don't fucking have that. Like that it's bullshit.

SPEAKER_00 10:15

But I go back and forth.

SPEAKER_01 10:17

Yeah, I mean I still don't I still don't think that no matter like no matter the crime, nobody should be murdered.

SPEAKER_00 10:26

Well, I think like like a life sentence you have to think about what you did.

SPEAKER_01 10:32

Yeah, make them miserable their entire life. Yeah, like that, like that's a much bigger punishment than just solitary confinement for like a year at a time. Yeah. Just to just have like a have a like a chamber where they just get butt raped constantly. Or that probably goes against like Geneva convention. Or like fucking like laughing gas.

SPEAKER_00 11:10

Your abs would hurt so bad.

SPEAKER_01 11:12

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 11:12

Like your mouth, like that would actually be that'd be a good one.

SPEAKER_01 11:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:17

Oh, there I could think of so many different or like just like a room full of like rats. Like figure out what their biggest fear is. Like they have to go to like a hypnotist and like, you know, psych people.

SPEAKER_02 11:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:31

And then whatever their biggest fear is, that's what they have to experience. But it could be at like random times.

SPEAKER_01 11:36

Oh fuck, mine would be going to a Catholic church.

SPEAKER_00 11:40

Oh, I thought it was the dentist.

SPEAKER_01 11:41

Well, yeah, that too. But God, going to a fucking Catholic church, because it's like we just make you four hours.

SPEAKER_00 11:47

But it would be like all in Latin. It'd be like the old Latin mass where you just in Spanish through it.

SPEAKER_01 11:53

Where I'm just like, I don't know what the fuck is happening.

SPEAKER_00 11:55

Well, you know Latin. You know Latin?

SPEAKER_01 11:57

Yes, all of it. Stop it.

SPEAKER_00 12:00

Well, maybe they do have Spanish masses somewhere, but everywhere.

SPEAKER_01 12:04

This is America. We speak Spanish here. So let's get into some of the more, I guess, obscure.

SPEAKER_00 12:11

I would say gruesome. Like Yeah. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 12:15

Um, the first one that I have is falling, where it's just fucking pushing people off of a cliff. I don't know why this is so funny to me, where it's like just like just picturing it in my head. Like they're like standing on top of the cliff and then they're like, this is beautiful, get off of here. Just kick them off.

SPEAKER_00 12:34

See it never.

SPEAKER_01 12:36

Yeah. Uh did you ever say uh Midsummer? Midsumar?

SPEAKER_02 12:44

It's a a horror movie, but it's like in daytime.

SPEAKER_01 12:49

It's crazy.

SPEAKER_00 12:51

Yeah. Where they're like in some sort of weird like cult thing. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:54

Did you ever see that?

SPEAKER_00 12:55

It is it was wild.

SPEAKER_01 12:57

And it starts out where they're like jumping off of the cliff, and then there's that fucking big hammer. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:02

That that was a wild one.

SPEAKER_01 13:05

Like possibly Iran might still be doing the fucking pushing them off a cliff. Okay, so uh next one is crushed by elephants.

SPEAKER_00 13:18

That's sounds awful.

SPEAKER_01 13:21

It is definitely like a metal song. Like a death metal song, I'm pretty sure. Like, could you imagine? Like, so they would train these elephants to like not like kill them right away.

SPEAKER_00 13:35

Like totally play with them.

SPEAKER_01 13:36

Yeah. Like fucking fling them around. They'd fucking cut them up and shit.

SPEAKER_00 13:41

They'd yeah, they'd attach blades to their tusks.

SPEAKER_01 13:45

Elephants are like they do like that the fucking like butterfly knife with their trunk.

SPEAKER_00 13:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:51

That'd be funny. And then they stab them with their trunk.

SPEAKER_00 13:54

They just put peanuts in everybody's trunk.

SPEAKER_01 13:56

They have a like a bandana.

SPEAKER_00 13:58

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:59

It'd be awesome.

SPEAKER_00 14:02

There was a movie though. Um God, was it on it? Might have been like Game of Thrones or something, where there was a scene where the guy gets his head crushed by an elephant, and it is like super graphic. It's like a grape pops.

SPEAKER_01 14:18

Yeah. Well, it uh how much how much does an elephant weigh? Like 6,000 pounds?

SPEAKER_00 14:25

Like yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:26

Like three ton?

SPEAKER_00 14:27

Three ton, maybe two ton? I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 14:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:29

But that's insane.

SPEAKER_01 14:31

Yeah. That would be. That would be but like other than like the fucking elephant like playing with you and torturing you, like the having your head crushed would be like real fast.

SPEAKER_00 14:41

Like I think you'd be like pretty and then you're done. Yeah, that's true. True statement. Still not something I would want to experience.

SPEAKER_01 14:50

No, thank you. I think even like the falling, like being pushed off of a cliff, I think that would be still just as terrifying because you're seeing it fucking happen.

SPEAKER_00 15:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:02

Like you know it's the ground is coming.

SPEAKER_00 15:06

Yeah, the end is near.

SPEAKER_01 15:07

Yeah. Yeah. We also have Death by a Thousand Cuts. And this was mostly in China, and they would tie them up to a pole, and pieces of skin and also whole limbs were very slowly cut and taken off.

SPEAKER_02 15:27

That's awful.

SPEAKER_01 15:28

Mm-hmm. While they're like the whole goal of it was to keep them alive as long as possible. Like that. Could you imagine though, like where like the first one, you're like, ow! Like a paper cut. Like, oh gee.

SPEAKER_00 15:44

Why'd you do that?

SPEAKER_01 15:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:48

Ow, yowie, yowie, yowie, yoi.

SPEAKER_01 15:50

God. They're like, we only have 900. Like, we're just beginning.

SPEAKER_00 15:56

Yeah, seriously. It's just like a fork or a butter knife.

SPEAKER_01 15:59

So, and I do want to say, I I'm pretty sure like today's like execution stuff, it's all based on making the killing part easier for the executioner. Like, that's why lethal injection is such a big thing, because it's not traumatizing.

SPEAKER_00 16:17

Well, and I think for the family, like if families are witnessing.

SPEAKER_01 16:22

I feel like if if we had like a serial killer murder in our family, like I wouldn't care like how you know what I mean? It's not like I would love them anymore. Like, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 16:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:34

Yeah. Like, why why the fuck would that matter? Okay. So this year is America's 250th birthday. And well, let's talk about that for a second.

SPEAKER_02 16:48

What do you mean?

SPEAKER_01 16:49

The 250th?

SPEAKER_00 16:51

Well, like w what are we doing for it?

SPEAKER_01 16:54

Oh, I don't know. But uh what we should do is have a good old-fashioned revolution.

SPEAKER_00 17:00

Oh boy.

SPEAKER_01 17:01

I was like, 200 250 years is like we're due for another one.

SPEAKER_00 17:08

Maybe.

SPEAKER_01 17:09

You know, overthrow the government. Throw some fucking some tea in the goddamn river because we fucking shut down taxes. Uh anyways. So when do you think of America? What do you think of?

SPEAKER_00 17:27

When I think of America?

SPEAKER_02 17:29

Yeah. What what is America? I don't even know.

SPEAKER_01 17:39

I'm trying to set you up for the what are you setting me up for? Like apple pies, fucking wrestling, monster trucks.

SPEAKER_00 17:46

None of that.

SPEAKER_01 17:47

Eagles. Bald eagles.

SPEAKER_00 17:49

Bald eagles and red, white, and blue.

SPEAKER_01 17:52

Because this brings me to our next form, Blood Eagle.

SPEAKER_02 17:58

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 18:00

So it comes from Nordic legends of Vikings.

unknown 18:05

The Vikings.

SPEAKER_01 18:07

So when they decided that someone needed to be executed, they would slash their back to give access to their ribs. And then the ribs were broken and twisted upwards and out, kind of like wings. See this. Then they would also pour salt in it, because why not?

SPEAKER_00 18:26

I mean. Is that where the term pour salt on your wound came from?

SPEAKER_01 18:31

Probably.

SPEAKER_00 18:32

I watched this in that it was like a series called The Vikings or Vikings. It was super gory and graphic. Like the shit they did. I'm so glad I did not live during that time.

SPEAKER_01 18:45

Then to finally end the person, they'd rip their lungs out and drape them over the wings. Super awesome.

SPEAKER_00 18:53

It was awful. I mean, there's an like, don't you just wonder though? Like, I know that they did all of these executions to make it like to display, right? This is a symbol of what's going to happen or what will happen is that it's not a good thing.

SPEAKER_01 19:12

It's to put fear into people so that they don't do right.

SPEAKER_00 19:16

But like, okay, let's what wack-a-doodle is going to this extreme of like, you know what sounds good? We're gonna also rip out their lungs and then we're gonna display them like wings because it's like kind of see-through. Like, what?

SPEAKER_01 19:28

Yeah, it takes a fucked up person to just be like, we need to like it's like a director. Can you give me a little bit more gore?

SPEAKER_00 19:37

I really need you to make sure no one does this again.

SPEAKER_01 19:42

That would be funny, like a director, like a film director, like at executions.

SPEAKER_00 19:48

Like, hold on, let's try that again.

SPEAKER_01 19:50

Yeah, we're gonna need another take. Because I just I wasn't feeling it.

SPEAKER_00 19:56

Right. Like that, what is it, a thousand cuts? They're like, you're only at 500. We should probably do another 500.

SPEAKER_01 20:05

Yeah. We're gonna need a start over.

SPEAKER_00 20:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:08

And could you could you give me more?

SPEAKER_00 20:11

Yeah. Maybe take a limb off, you know? Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:16

Uh um, next up we have uh keel hauling. So this wasn't an execution. This wasn't planned to kill someone, but most of the people died that were keel hauled.

SPEAKER_00 20:31

Yeah, refresh my memory what that one was.

SPEAKER_01 20:33

So, what they would do for these sailors, uh, because we know sailors are they're always like perfect human beings.

SPEAKER_00 20:42

They are.

SPEAKER_01 20:43

So it was like they got caught stealing a candy bar or something when they were in port, then they would have to be keel hauled. Uh they the person would be tied with a rope. I believe it was usually like their their hands would go to one side and like then on the other side of the boat would be like their feet, and they would like literally drag them along the bottom of the boat, often like barely giving them any air. But the the worst was most of the boats were covered in barnacles on the bottom. So it would the few that did survive this would have major scars for the rest of their life. Um oh, he had a good old-fashioned one.

SPEAKER_00 21:32

What's that?

SPEAKER_01 21:33

Uh soup.

SPEAKER_00 21:36

Soup?

SPEAKER_01 21:36

Yeah, just uh just boiling people.

SPEAKER_00 21:39

Oh god. And then there was the goal, like they would boil metal and then pour it on them.

SPEAKER_01 21:47

Mm-hmm. This uh so the boiling was from East Asia to England, where they would often place the person in a vat of boiling liquid, sometimes oil, water, toxic. Sometimes to make it more gruesome, they would put them in cool water and let it heat up.

SPEAKER_00 22:10

That's like a witch's brew.

SPEAKER_01 22:12

What was the one the the bowl?

SPEAKER_00 22:15

Oh, they would so it was like a bronze bowl with the cavity was hollow. And so they would put people in they would lock them in. They would lock them in this bowl and then put a fire underneath. And so they're just roasting them. They're literally roasting alive.

SPEAKER_01 22:32

Yeah. That would so like because uh like it was a small area in there, so it's not like you could get off off of the floor that's burning.

SPEAKER_00 22:42

Like you're like cramped in. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:46

What was the I bet you could you could pee on it.

SPEAKER_00 22:50

You wouldn't have that much pee.

SPEAKER_01 22:53

Well, but it would cool it down enough for a little bit, right? I mean, that sounds Or no, because you wouldn't want to do that, because then it would boil it. Because isn't pee, doesn't pee turn into like ammonia?

SPEAKER_00 23:05

Probably. You just die from your own pests.

SPEAKER_01 23:07

Yeah. Wow, that'd be better than fucking burning.

SPEAKER_00 23:11

Like being These are like really gruesome ways.

SPEAKER_01 23:14

It's like an oven, like just being roasted.

SPEAKER_00 23:16

Yeah, you're roasted.

SPEAKER_01 23:17

Like a fucking pressure cooker.

SPEAKER_00 23:20

Probably. Oh, and then I read that they also had like pipes that would come out of the bowl, and so their screams would sound like bowl noises.

SPEAKER_01 23:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:31

And so there'd just be like all these people watching.

SPEAKER_01 23:34

Yeah, just listening to a bullshit. That is though, like I wonder, I should have looked up when did we stop doing public executions?

SPEAKER_00 23:48

I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 23:49

Because that it was very popular, like for hangings.

SPEAKER_00 23:52

Hangings, that's what I was thinking of. Like maybe, I mean 650s? No.

SPEAKER_01 24:00

Six fifties.

SPEAKER_00 24:01

No, fit like 1950s. I don't know. Because there was like horse quartering. I mean, I feel like all of this weird.

SPEAKER_01 24:10

Because I was during the 13th century mostly. Which is uh wait, what is that?

SPEAKER_02 24:18

1200s? I don't know. I think you're the expert on that.

SPEAKER_01 24:23

Well, it's like it's opposite because it's it's not the thirteen hundreds, because the first century is zero to a hundred.

SPEAKER_00 24:32

Right. So why so wouldn't it be like what did you say the fourteenth? So it'd be the thirteen hundreds.

SPEAKER_01 24:38

So it's the fourteen hundreds. Fourteen hundreds. So you're after what what century are we in? What the fuck? Why am I so fucking retarded? I don't even know what century we're in. I know. So the uh drawing and quartering, so drawing was being tied to a horse and drugged to the gallows. And then after they were hanged or disemboweled or beheaded, they would quarter them by tying ropes to four horses. Well, sometimes only two, depending on how big the town was. If they hit if it was a one-horse town, that made it harder.

SPEAKER_00 25:21

You know, you might be able to find it.

SPEAKER_01 25:22

You'd have to tie them up to a tree. Um yeah, running in opposite directions. Oh my gosh. And this was usually only for those guilty of treason. This was a special one for the treasonous. But luckily they abolished it in 1867.

SPEAKER_00 25:48

Oh. It's quite a few years that they were allowing this.

SPEAKER_01 25:52

Mm-hmm. Uh I I just have one more uh I am not gonna say this right. Oh Poina Coley. I yeah, something.

SPEAKER_00 26:08

I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 26:08

I I can barely read anyways, and then if it's not in like third grade English, then we need some layman's terms over here. Uh so this punishment is it was in ancient Rome.

SPEAKER_02 26:26

Oh, this one's terrible.

SPEAKER_01 26:28

Where what is it? The a part in cases of parasite.

SPEAKER_00 26:34

Oh, this is so for Isn't this the one where they would put them in sacks?

SPEAKER_01 26:39

Yeah, but this was for if a person killed their parents or close family members. This is like a special one reserved for them. They would sew them into a leather sack with a number of animals in, including dogs, monkeys, snakes, roosters.

SPEAKER_00 26:57

Nope, I would die.

SPEAKER_01 26:58

And then they throw the bag into water. If the the animals didn't kill the person, then they would just drown.

SPEAKER_00 27:07

I feel like though. Couldn't you just it's a leather bag. Wouldn't you just hold the rooster's feet and be like, just peck at it until it opens?

SPEAKER_01 27:16

Well, but I feel like why why kill the animals? Like, why do they gotta be involved? Can't you just put a snake? Can't you just put them in a fucking bag and just throw the bag in? Like, why why you gotta kill the animals too?

SPEAKER_00 27:29

Or if you're like concerned on whether or not they can get the job done, throw them in like a locked building.

SPEAKER_02 27:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:36

You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 27:37

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00 27:38

I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 27:41

Well, you don't want them you don't want them to have enough room to fight back.

SPEAKER_00 27:44

Well, I not a building. Okay, like a small room, like a tiny room. Closet.

SPEAKER_01 27:49

What what would be the worst of a dog, a monkey? What did I say? A dog, a monkey, a snake, a rooster.

SPEAKER_00 27:56

Well, for me a snake, but I would die of fear.

SPEAKER_01 27:59

Yeah, but like if it's not that poisonous of a snake, like yeah, just bite you.

SPEAKER_00 28:04

Well, like what kind of monkey are we talking about?

SPEAKER_01 28:07

I know. See, I think a fucking like a chimpanzee would like rip your fucking arms off.

SPEAKER_00 28:12

They're like super strong.

SPEAKER_01 28:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:13

And then eat your face.

SPEAKER_01 28:14

Yeah, exactly. Like, I think that would be the worst. Like a fucking a chicken. Like, yeah, they have spurs. But like Roosters are mean. Well, yeah, but like I think a monkey would probably be the shove its fucking fist in your ass and then use you as a puppet.

SPEAKER_00 28:33

Sick.

SPEAKER_01 28:34

It puts on a a little puppet show for everyone watching.

SPEAKER_00 28:40

Oh lord.

SPEAKER_01 28:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:43

I mean, but I feel like the dogs too, like, I mean, I'm sure they were like these trained dogs to just rip.

SPEAKER_01 28:50

But it's just sad. Like you you train these animals to be like fucking like vicious and stuff, and then you kill them. Like that's sad.

SPEAKER_00 28:59

I don't know. These are like really messed up ways to die.

SPEAKER_02 29:05

It kind of makes me a little sad.

SPEAKER_00 29:07

You think about I know it makes me sad too, but you think about like, right? We read up on and we've talked about like serial killers and like, right, like some of the crazy things that they've done. But I mean, or you think back to like, right, Native Americans. Like they would scalp people. Can you imagine? That would be like a terrible way to go. And I don't, I'm pretty sure they're not gonna be able to do that.

SPEAKER_01 29:32

No, the no, the the scalping usually was they were already dead, and then they would take the scalp. Because there's that famous one in Nebraska. I think the the library has it.

SPEAKER_00 29:43

What?

SPEAKER_01 29:44

Yeah, a guy in like the fucking pioneer days or whatever.

SPEAKER_02 29:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:50

Uh they got attacked by Native Americans and he played dead.

SPEAKER_00 29:57

And was scalped.

SPEAKER_01 29:58

And was scalped. And so he fucking had to sit there and get his fucking his forehead.

SPEAKER_00 30:05

How would you not scream?

SPEAKER_01 30:06

Like how would that I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 30:08

But uh You'd have to pass out from shock.

SPEAKER_01 30:11

So well, yeah, he did pass out, and when he woke up, he started walking towards the town or whatever, and he found his scalp, like the Indian dropped it.

SPEAKER_00 30:21

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 30:22

And so he took it back with him and had it like tanned and he kept it and he like traveled around doing with a hat on? No. He like there's pictures of him. I'll put pictures up of the guy like without hair. Yeah, he's yeah, he's like bald from where it happened.

SPEAKER_00 30:41

Oh my god. Because they weren't able to put Well, yeah, they didn't have like skin graphs back then.

SPEAKER_01 30:47

But I think he traveled around just talking about how fucking terrible savages are.

SPEAKER_00 30:51

Oh my god, scary. That's crazy. I mean, there's some crazy shit out there.

SPEAKER_01 30:58

What else should we talk about of executions? I don't know if there's I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 31:02

I think we were just going for like the like grimmest, group most gruesome, yeah. Just weird, like wild forms. It kind of makes ours seem kind. What a gentle killing.

SPEAKER_01 31:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:16

What how but I just don't feel like yeah. I don't know. Taking other people's lives just not my jam, you know what I mean? Yeah. Like, I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 31:26

Of the the current ones, which one would you choose? I wouldn't feel like the lethal injection can take a while.

SPEAKER_00 31:42

Yeah. And I don't I don't know if I would want like that, like knowing what's happening, but feeling paralyzed like I can't move. Right?

SPEAKER_02 31:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:52

But then just having my heart stop, eh. But I'd probably do the firing squad. Just take my own.

SPEAKER_01 31:57

Yeah, I think the firing squad.

SPEAKER_00 31:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:59

The worst though would be if they miss.

SPEAKER_00 32:01

I know. If they're like, do you have any final words? I would be like, don't miss. Please. If you miss, I'll kill you. I only want to shit myself once. Not twice.

SPEAKER_01 32:12

And I'd probably take up smoking like that instant, like have a cigarette while they shoot me?

SPEAKER_00 32:19

I mean, whatever.

SPEAKER_02 32:21

Do they put a bag over your head? Is that still? I would think so. You want to look at everybody?

SPEAKER_00 32:31

I'm guessing they would put a bag over your head. Or do they have you face?

SPEAKER_01 32:36

Does the executioner still have the black bag over their head? Like in the movie? Like was that a thing? Because it it was to be anonymous.

SPEAKER_00 32:46

Yeah, but that's you don't want to be the the kid. That was like the guillotine and like the head chopping, and then they'd hang their heads from like a wall.

SPEAKER_01 32:57

Yeah. It's still the same thing. I mean Man, I miss the old, the old gore days where you could see like videos of like executions and like fucking like beheadings and shit online. Now you can't. It's sad. Stop it. The world that we live in now is terrible.

SPEAKER_00 33:16

I'm sure they're out there in the dark web.

SPEAKER_01 33:18

Well, yeah, that's the thing. I'm not I'm not going to the street.

SPEAKER_00 33:21

Don't be looking that. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 33:24

Okay. All right. I think that's we solved it.

SPEAKER_00 33:28

It all sounds awful. Um so yeah, just don't go on death row.

SPEAKER_01 33:35

Yeah. Whatever you do, don't get executed.

SPEAKER_00 33:39

And also don't kill anyone. Just in general.

SPEAKER_01 33:43

Or commit treason.

SPEAKER_00 33:46

Or kill a family member.

SPEAKER_01 33:47

Okay. Or don't even you know what? Don't go to prison.

SPEAKER_00 33:52

That's what I said. Don't at all.

SPEAKER_01 33:54

Don't go to jail.

SPEAKER_00 33:55

Yeah. Just make good choices.

SPEAKER_01 33:59

Like us. We are perfect.

SPEAKER_00 34:02

And listening to this podcast is a great choice.

SPEAKER_01 34:05

Yeah, because if you go to jail, you can't listen to us.

SPEAKER_00 34:09

You probably can. Fuck I can. I mean, you make as many phone calls as you want to, so whatever.

SPEAKER_01 34:14

They do like fucking video chatting and shit.

SPEAKER_00 34:17

Yeah, it's the weirdest thing.

SPEAKER_01 34:18

All right. Anyways, please pretend to be kind to each other. We love you.

SPEAKER_02 34:23

Peace.

unknown 34:24

Bye.