From Silence To Strength: Mothers, Work, And Healing

The quiet rules we were handed—smile, cope, don’t make a scene—don’t stand a chance once real stories meet open air. We sit down with women who lead at work, parent at home, and carry the invisible load of being told to be capable without feeling. The conversation starts where most tiptoe: the myth that strong leaders don’t show emotion. We flip that script and talk about emotion as a skill—naming it, using it, and teaching it to our sons so they inherit a fuller vocabulary than “fine” and “angry.”

From there, we walk straight into the hard rooms: domestic violence that impacts men and women, the corrosive reflex to blame survivors, and the way betrayal invites people to ask the wrong question—what did you do—rather than hold the right person accountable. The honesty gets personal as we unpack how compliments can carry hidden agendas when past trauma turned flattery into a weapon. We trade practical tools for healing in place: accept a compliment with a clean “thank you,” resist the urge to shrink, and practice giving agenda-free affirmation to rebuild trust in small, safe ways.

By the end, the message is simple and fierce. Speaking your truth out loud shapes the ground you stand on. If you’re scared to start, whisper it to a wall, record a voice note, or tell a friend who can hold it without fixing. You are not alone, your voice is worthy, and your story matters more than the silence that kept it hidden. This is not just a podcast; it’s a gathering place for people who are done living small and ready to turn pain into purpose, one honest sentence at a time.

If this moved you, share it with someone who needs the reminder, hit follow so you don’t miss what’s next, and leave a review with the one truth you’re ready to say out loud. Your words might be the light someone else has been waiting for.

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:12

Hey friends, Jennifer Ednings here, the Heart behind the Cal Eye Collective. Welcome back to episode two of our two-part season finale. The last episode, you heard about these beautiful women sharing exactly why they wanted to join this movement in the first place. Of course, per usual, we got a little off topic and we shared a lot of things that women just deal with in general. This week we're digging a little bit deeper and we're gonna talk about the things that women have been told to stay quiet about for a very long time. So we're gonna just dig right into it because you've already done all the pleasantries and there's no need for that. Um, so I'm gonna just are you ready?

SPEAKER_01 0:51

Because yeah, it's usually complicated questions. Yeah. Well, here you go.

Juggling Leadership And Motherhood

SPEAKER_03 0:54

That's what you signed up for, asshole. All right. You are ready, but we're gonna start studied. I well, well getting a black point that maybe we should, maybe that's a you problem. Okay, we're gonna start with rose and do it. We're gonna start with rose. So my question for you is tell me something women are expected to stay quiet about.

SPEAKER_02 1:20

Man, what a good question. I think women often are expected to be quiet about the challenges of being a boss at work and a good mother at home. And that it is absolutely possible to it is possible.

SPEAKER_03 1:38

But I think that it is an underrated task. I think that there are, in my opinion, a lot of men who get to go be bosses at work, who have a supportive wife at home, who's taking care of the family. So I would love to open that up a little bit as to what it's like to be a leader as a woman who's also still expected to maintain a home whose children may end up in therapy, but may also have you as a like as a topic, right? Like, I mean, there's that. They'll be fine. They'll be fine.

SPEAKER_02 2:17

Every parent screws up their kids. Every single one of us. No, I'm just I've already promised them that.

SPEAKER_03 2:24

Good, good, good.

SPEAKER_02 2:25

Let's just set the tone of honesty. Like, you're gonna go to counseling. Amen.

SPEAKER_03 2:30

You're well, I'll pay for it.

SPEAKER_02 2:31

No, I'm not sure. My parents. I'm trying to mess you up in better ways than I was messed up. But what I've learned is that every child is going to counseling because of something their parents did or did not do that their parents have no idea about.

SPEAKER_01 2:53

And growing up is realizing that your parents are humans.

SPEAKER_02 2:58

100%. They were really just trying to figure it out and do it.

SPEAKER_01 3:02

They're like you, just you know, and I'm not a parent, so I give kudos to any mom at all. Because being, I don't know, I spend three seconds with a child, and I'm like, how do people do this full time? Like, I just I can't do it. I don't understand it. Wait, it doesn't have two. I admire and respect any woman that has ever had a child because nope, like nope, that's a lot. That is it's just a lot. I can't even take care of myself half the time. So just picturing a full-time thing that you have to, you know, raise up and stuff. That's a lot. It's a lot. So congrats for being superheroes, like superheroes.

SPEAKER_03 3:39

What I I don't disagree with you, I absolutely agree with you. Um, I did challenge you on your episode because you said something similar. You do have a caretaker heart and you take care of everyone. So I remember challenging you a little bit on the fact that I questioned if you couldn't consider yourself a mother to those. I think you mother a lot. Are you a mother? No. But I mean that include I meant that more specifically to Mark. For me, you have you have mothered me. You have mothered me to every extent of the word the last six months, and I'm very thankful for you. So, Marissa, how about you? Something women are expected to stay quiet about.

Emotions Aren’t “Crazy”

SPEAKER_00 4:24

Oh, I had one and then it disappeared. It's ADHD all the way. Um, some oh, emotions, our emotions.

SPEAKER_01 4:32

Like, you know, you're not too emotional.

SPEAKER_00 4:34

Don't be emotional. Too emotional. Like you're crazy, you're crazy. Let's change it. Let's change it up, right? Let's change it. Let's get really deep here. Um, our crazy. You know, what is that prompted from? We can't talk about our crazy.

SPEAKER_01 4:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:52

You're not allowed to stay quiet about your crazy. No, I own my crazy.

SPEAKER_01 4:55

Hide your mental illness. But is it crazy? Back in the day. It's not, is it crazy?

SPEAKER_03 4:59

It's not.

SPEAKER_00 5:00

It's emotion.

SPEAKER_03 5:01

Is it not what we were genetically designed to be?

SPEAKER_00 5:05

Absolutely. Absolutely. We were designed to be emotional. We're the caretakers. We're the we were we were the razors. And I'm not saying that men aren't good caretakers and and aren't good raisers, but um, that's why we have emotion. That's why we are emotional. We are emotional creatures. Um, it that's what's required to nurture. And I think that we've been told too long that um keep quiet about emotion.

SPEAKER_03 5:31

You're not allowed to do that. Do all the things that we would like for women to do, rear the children, you know, do all the things and take care of the household. But please, if you don't mind, don't have any feelings about it. Don't and certainly if you do, if you could please just keep expressing them if you don't mind, because that's that's annoying, right?

SPEAKER_02 5:49

Yeah, but doesn't that lack of ability to even communicate about emotion create men who don't know how to label their emotions?

SPEAKER_03 5:59

Yes, very much so.

SPEAKER_02 6:01

So, you know, that's one of the things as a mother of a male child. I mean, he's not a child anymore, but I always wanted to really make sure that my son knew that there were more emotions than mad, happy, and angry. Amen. Because how do you manage the things you don't know how to identify? And that isn't just something as a woman we're not allowed to talk about. But in general, as a human, it is we are made to not talk about our emotion and what a um disservice that we're doing to our society.

SPEAKER_03 6:36

Yes, you can't even put a name to what it is you're feeling. How are you supposed to understand how to manage it? You can't pull into your toolbox to, you know, a broken roof or leaky plumbing and pull out what you know can fix those things if you don't know that it's leaky plumbing that's wrong with your home because they are taught or not taught not to feel those things. I remember I not remember, I'm told a lot, and I'm sure we've all heard it, you know, men are not men don't cry. Men don't cry, men don't feel things, and that's so wrong. And I almost feel bad. It is false, and I feel bad for the men that are taught that because what a what a difficult vessel to be inside knowing you cannot express anything that happens to you without being labeled weak or less than or at the worst, not a man.

SPEAKER_00 7:37

I call that a red flag. A man that can't cry because men don't cry. That's a red flag for me.

SPEAKER_01 7:45

Where did how did they get there? I think that yeah, we need to start teaching our sons, right? I mean, essentially it's up to the mother to teach the sons that emotions are okay and that you're okay. You should be able to express yourself and you should be able to reach out when needed. And for now, there is somebody out there that can help you no matter what you want to do, whatever big or small it is, and that you should be able to express it or say it without fear of the judgment and everything else. And that I think is also on mothers with sons. I don't know about, but uh have that responsibility to essentially raise them to know that it's okay to not be okay, like to be able to express it without and being like whatever.

SPEAKER_02 8:32

But I think it even comes back all the way to this podcast, like exactly what the call like collectivism about is creating a space where you can be seen and heard for exactly what's going on. So although it's one of the things as a woman, it isn't, it doesn't stop there. It is exactly what we're talking about bringing lightness or bringing light to everything that is dark because humanity is struggling with it, indeed, not just us as women.

Teaching Boys Emotional Language

SPEAKER_03 9:04

I agree with that. I was posting something recently about domestic violence, and um it does carry uh I don't know what the right word would be, assumed that it's the woman that is the one that's being violated. But domestic violence absolutely does work both ways. Absolutely. The emotional the taxing, just the weight of a man having to step forward and say, I am being domestically violated, I am being abused, because society will say, Well, you just kind of poked fun at, which is normal. It goes back to what we're taught. Oh, stop being such a baby about it or whatever. But it is actually there and it happens.

SPEAKER_01 9:51

Um Yeah, well, they've proven that with any experiment. A woman hitting a guy and pushing him around down the street doesn't get looked at, but let a man push a woman down the street and bam, there's a whole nother side of people just ready to attack her, right? Or attack him. Sorry.

SPEAKER_00 10:06

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Mob mentality.

SPEAKER_01 10:09

For sure. For sure.

SPEAKER_00 10:10

Mob mentality, they're always gonna go after the guy.

SPEAKER_03 10:12

For sure, always, every single time. It's not there's one particular person on my Facebook that I followed, and he is struggling right now in a custody battle, or not even custody battle, just co-parenting battle. He just wants equal rights. He's like, I'll pay whatever, I don't care. I just want to see my kid. And and we're definitely going on a whole nother topic here, but he he can't even see his kid without fighting tooth and nail because it goes back to society assuming mothers are correct, assuming mothers are the right ones. Um, and that's not necessarily true, and I really don't remember how we got there actually.

SPEAKER_00 10:51

And probably because of emotions. We were talking about emotions and how we were not supposed to talk about it, but it even segue to the men and how they can't show emotions.

SPEAKER_03 11:02

True, true. We could have to be fair with my the way my brain works, we could have been talking about like I don't know, seafood, and I could have somehow pivoted us in there to that for sure. I will bring us back for the sake of this. I love it.

SPEAKER_01 11:13

We are again, as women do, becoming emotional.

SPEAKER_02 11:21

We're just talking in loose. We enjoy I have really enjoy circle.

SPEAKER_03 11:26

I do too, because you can pull so many things together and relate them together that you would never have thought could possibly relate. Um, so you both have answered the question and now it's on you, and I understand how you feel about the right question. Something women are expected to stay quiet about.

SPEAKER_01 11:48

Oh, uh anything that happened to them that was traumatized. Like you're not supposed to talk about it, right? Because if you come forth if something happened to you and it's suddenly it's now an issue.

SPEAKER_03 12:02

Do you feel like you have to prove it?

SPEAKER_01 12:03

Yeah, you have to prove it. Like, what were you wearing? What did you do to make what role did you what role did you play in your own abuse?

SPEAKER_02 12:11

That's like workplace violence. Yeah. Any type of violence, right? But I mean, like, think about it. What did you do? You work in the hospital, like, oh, the patient attacked you. What did you do? Yeah, what did you do? I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 12:22

I I asked him what his name was. Right. Like, that makes a fucking difference.

SPEAKER_01 12:27

Saved the word. You're sitting there charting, and somebody just comes up and slams the phone at your head, and like, you know, like what did you do? I'm like, I was just sitting here, I don't know. I clocked in.

SPEAKER_03 12:36

Yeah, that's all I did. And that is such a great point. Um that it can go, we can talk about middle school trusco, we can talk about all kinds of things. Um, and while I understand some points of view and I can understand some logic to some of the argument, I am tired of being asked what I did to provoke or deserve someone's poor behavior. Yes, nothing I could ever do would make you deserve it. Somebody act in the way they acted. So I posted recently about my third upcoming divorce and whatever were to come on that, season two. Um, and someone was like, well, because I said something about uh infidelity lying within every marriage I've had. Like, well, you should make better choices.

SPEAKER_01 13:31

I don't blame you. I'm sorry.

Domestic Violence Cuts Both Ways

SPEAKER_03 13:40

I'm sorry, what I should make better choices for the men that I was married to that they decided to cheat on me. What choices may I just just just uh just you know question you ladies, what choices could I have made differently that would warrant or or prevent a man from making the absolute decision to cheat on me? Now, could I lay out all the reasons why I probably could have left the marriage prior to that? Sure. I won't. But I just that type of mentality completely baffles me. If I make a poor decision, would you even make them cheat? Like, what are you talking about? I don't know. I don't know, make them perfect. I mean, I wasn't perfect, right? And I wasn't. And I can I have made poor decisions. And when I was called to the table to account for those decisions, I did because they were my decisions. Regardless what led to me making those decisions, I still made my decision, which was mine to make. So anyone that could say to me what that I should make better decisions or choices, because the three men that I chose to marry chose to be uh shitty. Um, and the last one within 35 days of marriage, how did I deserve that?

SPEAKER_00 15:15

How do you choose that? Let me just let me just go that direction. Like, how do you how do you make a better choice? Because when you're dating somebody, how do you know that that's what your future is better smart?

SPEAKER_03 15:28

She's talking about anyway. Go ahead. You're a dickhead, but go ahead.

SPEAKER_00 15:33

How do you if you if you're always with this person and this person's on their best behavior and they and are you supposed to not believe them? Are you supposed to just always be skeptical? Because what what happens then? Then you don't have a true relationship. So you did everything right, you led with your heart, which you always do, you gave it your all, and you gave your love freely. They made the decision. That's not on you. How do you choose? How do you make a better choice? Um, not knowing that that's somebody's nature. They're not gonna tell you that that, hey, hi, I'm so and so, I'm 37 years old.

SPEAKER_03 16:14

I wasn't on the dating app.

SPEAKER_00 16:16

And um, I'm a serial cheater.

SPEAKER_03 16:19

Yeah, I promise you that wasn't disclosed, right? And the truth of the real sad truth is because of the nature of the women are signs, there's always signs. You're you're changing her, Michael. Um so because of the nature of women that are people pleasers and givers, honestly, probably could have written on his bio, I serial cheat, looking for the one that will make me stop. And I'm like, I can do it. I can I can I can fix that. Like you could have, you did that, but you could have, and I still invented her. You would have um he did that to one do it too. At the end of the day, like I'm I am dealing with the the I'm dealing with the consequences of my decisions, which is fine. I can't do that. I just don't know that I understand the world and society, how they the audacity, which is an all-time high, um, to make the comments like, well, you should have made better choices. It goes back to the then the other episode, like that that faithfulness was a choice on the menu. I was like, meh, meh, for me. I'll skip that the menu. I'll take the trauma, I'll take the the emotional neglect. No worries, that's what I would like if you could mind. It's on sale. I'll take it. Um anyway, and I'm again, I don't really know how I got there, but um, because because that's what women expect to stay quiet about. Yeah, the things that happened to us, yeah, and us voicing our stories about it, which only keeps us all in silos. Speak up. We are literally sitting in individual silos throughout the entire universe.

SPEAKER_00 18:01

Not anymore.

SPEAKER_03 18:03

Not anymore. And that is exactly the purpose of this next time. Absolutely saying that. That's why is this true?

SPEAKER_01 18:09

They are so smart at the end. I'm just here. You're not just pretty faces, and you're like, the cob line. And I'm like, oh yeah. Well, that's why we're here. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 18:26

Which is even more beautiful for you because you could give a shit less about the name of this podcast. You can care less about whether whatever, all you truly care about is helping the next woman that hasn't quite figured it out yet. Be a voice, yeah. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 18:45

You're be that voice for sure.

SPEAKER_03 18:46

You absolutely are. Your episode again hasn't aired yet. We've got about, I don't know, 18 hours. Um, your mother was a beautiful role model for you.

SPEAKER_04 18:56

Oh, yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_03 18:57

And not every girl had a mother like yours that pushed and pushed and pushed for women empowerment, be happy, choose yourself. Some of us grew up differently. Yeah. And so where you're right, I could have listened to a random best friend who may or may not be in the room, uh, to the warnings that you gave.

Blame, Infidelity, And Choice

SPEAKER_01 19:19

I was getting the T. Do not marry him. That's Madeza, do not marry him t-shirt and sign, and then I'm gonna go, I'm gonna do what I'm gonna do. And we have to figure it out. Yeah, that's the thing that frustrates you, right? When you see somebody and you're like, don't do this, don't do this.

SPEAKER_00 19:34

But you love her anyway. Oh, absolutely. And that's that's the important thing, right?

SPEAKER_01 19:38

Uh yeah, we love you anyway, and so we love you as you are, we're bringing always want them to improve and be better, yes, because we see how good they are, right?

SPEAKER_00 19:50

You see, you always want the best for your people, your tracking.

SPEAKER_03 19:54

But I think going back to that comment is we can see I can see you ladies in my own view, which is could not respect you more, envy every single one of you, wish that I could be more like you every day. But I imagine if you were to look at all that in my brain, what I could uh compute out on a list of things I see about you, you would question 95% of what I wrote. That's just how we are as women. We question our worth and our value. And like I you probably would assume I'm only saying what I say to you for the lights, for the camera, for just to be nice.

SPEAKER_00 20:36

I don't.

SPEAKER_03 20:37

At least I'm glad you don't. I don't think we have to get behind this where we're drooping. I'm very far behind in this healing journey that you ladies are.

SPEAKER_02 20:46

Apparently, we would not have said yes if that's really what we're doing. Oh, the whole call.

SPEAKER_03 20:51

Okay, okay. I appreciate that. I appreciate that. Yeah, no, you're getting this. But wait a minute. Yeah, wait a minute, wait a minute.

SPEAKER_01 20:58

The game for you, the call-like collective is the main. Look at her, she didn't have the name. Yeah. Yeah, I was trying to.

SPEAKER_02 21:04

I was like, look at the like her kind of everything. I know.

SPEAKER_03 21:11

Okay, but I do have a question then, because this actually is for me. You guys, you can sit here and tell me uh 20 days, uh not 20 days, in 20 different languages, how great I am. I'll be like, oh, thank you. And I walk out there, I'm like, that is a lot of that isn't true. Do you guys really not doubt like the compliments that are given to you?

SPEAKER_00 21:29

I have this is a generous terrible at accepting comments. Comments. Comments, compliments every week.

SPEAKER_03 21:35

You accept them very freely.

SPEAKER_02 21:37

I learned as a younger person, and um through a lot of a lot of that a lot of self-hate back that um people only give you like why am I gonna take the time to give you a compliment if I don't believe it? And even if you've taken the time to give me a compliment and you don't believe it, positivity came out of your mouth. So thank you. Yeah. I got time I love to say thank you. I love that because that's not my reality. You're supposed to say thank you, not convince them why you're not supposed to have it. There you go.

SPEAKER_03 22:12

Well, I will say thank you.

SPEAKER_00 22:14

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 22:15

But uh not a single bit.

SPEAKER_00 22:17

Do you question the motive?

SPEAKER_03 22:20

Oh eight times out of ten.

SPEAKER_00 22:22

Okay, so going back to things that we are not supposed to talk about, and we don't talk as well. So I'm not gonna talk about it. So in some other experiences, compliments come with consequences. Um, when we're talking about trauma.

SPEAKER_03 22:41

Well, unpack that for us.

SPEAKER_00 22:43

Oof. It's a deep one. It's rough. We're here, it's hard. And we have like another 32 minutes. Um as a child, I was we had a friend in town, and I went walked from my bathroom, which was literally maybe a foot of where you can see from the couch, from the bathroom to my bedroom in a towel. And I was like seven. And later on, years later, um, this person would compliment me all the time. I was up visiting in another state, and we crossed paths, and I was like 15 years old, and he's paying compliments and paying compliments. You're so beautiful, you're so smart, you know. How did you get here? You know, all of all of these wonderful things, and then um made a sexual advance towards me and then told me that it was my fault because of the time when I was seven, and I walked from the bathroom to my bedroom, you know, for all of two seconds. Um so I learned at 15 that those compliments came with consequences. And so now an agenda. Yes, an agenda. Um, like there was a motive. There was a motive to break down my walls, to make me trust him, to you know, to level that field so that he had an opportunity. I'm thankful that nothing went further than that, but you know, that was a moment that was a moment for me. And I think from that moment on, anytime I receive a compliment, and it's not necessarily just from men, I just I don't trust it. I don't always trust compliments. So I am terrible about accepting compliments, and I usually will try to downplay. There we go again, downplay, downplay the compliments. So, you know, oh, I love that. I love that shirt. Thanks. Uh, I've had it for 20 years, you know, it's it's old. Something like that. And I catch myself and I have to catch myself. And sometimes when I'm it's on the tip of my tongue to say something else, I just have to say, oh, thanks, and then force myself to walk away because the natural part of me wants to come back with something. I want to come back with something. I want to come back with either downplay it or take the attention off of me back to them, you know, deflect.

SPEAKER_01 25:16

Thank you for sharing this.

SPEAKER_00 25:17

So yeah, it's you know, everybody has different realities. So um, yeah, I suck at compliments.

SPEAKER_03 25:25

Hey friends, Jennifer Eddings here, the heart behind the calllight collective. You know, I created this space for you, I created this space for me, I created this space for all of us. This is a space that is designed for us to come in and speak about the things that are heavy. For anyone that is navigating a difficult situation, for anyone that has found themselves standing in the middle of life just looking for the light. Around here, we talk about the things that aren't easy to talk about. We talk about the things that people typically are quiet about or whisper about. We talk about the things that literally can set someone free once they know that they're not the only one going through it. So, this is my ask of you. I want you to be just as much of this movement as I am and the women who sat in these chairs before you. I would love for you to share your story with me. Write to me. Tell me what you're going through. Share a situation that you've been navigating through and you just would love some outside perspective on it. Or if you just really need to know that you're not alive, you can email me at ComeFormeasures24 at gmail.com. I would love to hear from you. Whenever you need something or you need someone to be there for you, I beg of you just to hit the call icon. And I promise I'll answer it. Because at the end of the day, all of us are just walking each other home one conversation at a time. That was that was very profound.

SPEAKER_01 26:49

And I and I love it and very much, you know, very much so. It is, it's always something that you that at the time you don't see, and then later on you're like, oh my god, like that's why. This is why I am the way I am now, is because of something that happened right 7, 15.

SPEAKER_03 27:07

And I'm not just a dick that doesn't want to take compliments, I am a product of trauma. Trauma.

Compliments, Motives, And Trust

SPEAKER_02 27:13

And and but here's the thing: it's not okay to stay there, right? Like it's one thing to say it's a sh that I don't feel comfortable taking a compliment because of something that happened to me, but then to give them the power to allow them to keep you from feeling worthy of a compliment. That's the work. Yeah, that's the work. That's the work that's the work. Just to your point, I mean, often, I mean, just in relationship when you're learning to date, the guys that like you after they stop hitting you when you're like in you know, second grade, is it's that's a horrible thing, right?

SPEAKER_01 27:49

Which but I mean it is true when you're boys and crap. Let's not start that podcast right now. I'm just trying to season that.

SPEAKER_02 27:58

That is how young, like that's how dating kind of starts. Yeah, the ones who give you the compliments, and then to have people who aren't authentic. And so to ruin that for you. But you know, as I've walked the planet, what I've really learned is we'll tell people when they're doing wrong or when they need to improve, or we'll be quick to coach them or to call them out, but we're not just as quick to tell them something positive that we think of them. And so that's really something that I've worked out on my own, that when I see something, if I've thought a positive thing about you, I say it. I say it. I love that. Yes, and so with that intention, there is if I'm gonna compliment other people, I have to be able to take it. Yeah, if I have to be able, if I'm gonna give you a um, what is even the right word? Like it's not it, it it has no weight.

SPEAKER_00 29:01

It isn't, it isn't meant to build you up. It's meant to be what it is, it's a freaking compliment. But there's no, what was the word we used early? There's no agenda. There's no agenda. No, there's literally just uh it's like seeing somebody that you don't know that you're passing, and they are like a total dime piece, and just having the freedom and the gorgeous holy cow, you look amazing. Just wanted to let you know there's no agenda, I'm never gonna see you again. Right. So she's very good at that.

SPEAKER_02 29:32

Oh my god, I love your shoes. But in order to do that, I feel like you have to take it. I just did that when I got my nails done the other day. I got my nails done. There were a lady came in, she was in these green pants and uh a tan and white shirt, and I was like, Sister, your outfit is fire. Where'd you get them pants? And then she said, Oh, I was so self-conscious leaving the house this morning. She said, I'm still moving. And this is actually an outfit, and there's a shirt that goes with these pants, but she couldn't find it. And she thank you. And I was like, Oh, yeah, I'm planning my next work outfit off what you're wearing today. So just having that moment of vulnerability, too. It changed her day.

SPEAKER_00 30:16

I love that, and it elevated your mood and your energy too. So, because that was a total energy.

SPEAKER_03 30:23

Absolutely. We get so much change of that. Now I do well with strangers' compliments.

SPEAKER_00 30:31

Same.

SPEAKER_03 30:32

Those are right, those I better make those random. I like your shoes, I believe them. And and this is again season three, four, whatever. Um it's the ones that I know the most that I question their compliments because I don't under, I don't know for sure their motive or if they are using it as a manipulation tactic to get me to do something that I want me to do for them. Um, but I imagine we could un do a whole episode on that, I'm sure. At least for one episode, probably. But I do appreciate being in the company of two women who can say, yeah, no, actually, no, mm-mm. That's not, that's not me. And also appreciate being in the company of another woman that can say, yeah, me too. That it it's it's important that both exist and that we're honest with each other. Because this, and I want to speak speak for Marissa. This tells me there's light at the end of this particular tunnel. I can get where you guys are. I am not there yet, and I dare not pretend to be, but I can get there. And and I appreciate you both for being so open about that. I do want to go on to the next question. Um, because I have some fun questions too.

SPEAKER_02 31:42

I didn't read fun questions.

SPEAKER_03 31:44

I know we have to have a deep one.

SPEAKER_01 31:47

You bring up another deep one because I know you're like, ah, geez, like relation all night.

SPEAKER_03 31:57

I don't know. Um anyway. Um, okay, okay, ladies. As much fun, so future, I probably should plan a three-episode finale um because we could probably sit here and just unfold all of this for hours. Um, one thing I do want to ask you guys before we go um is that, and this is gonna be the closing essentially, for the woman that is listening, that is afraid to speak, what is one thing that you wish you could tell her? And Marissa, I would love to start with you.

Owning Trauma Without Staying There

SPEAKER_00 32:32

I would say that if you're afraid to speak, sometimes speaking out loud and hearing your truth out loud gives it the power that it that you need to fix it, to accomplish it, to tackle it, to heal. Um, so hearing that out loud, saying it, sometimes just saying it. You can say it to a wall, just say it out loud because then you're gonna find that power. You're gonna find where it is.

SPEAKER_03 33:02

I love that.

SPEAKER_00 33:03

To either heal or move past it, or or you know, if you're stuck, if you're scared, sometimes hearing it out loud takes the fear away.

SPEAKER_01 33:13

I love that, Crystal. I know you're not alone. No matter what you've been through, no matter what you think, it's just you, it's not everyone has dealt with it in one way she does. So yeah, you're not alone.

SPEAKER_03 33:27

I think it's probably a haunting statistic of how not alone you guys are.

SPEAKER_01 33:33

Men and women.

SPEAKER_03 33:34

It's yeah, you're not alone. And the more women like you are brave enough to sit here and tell your own truths and your stories, the more women, the more other women will be able to understand that they truly aren't alone and they'll feel empowered to share as well. So I I appreciate that. Rose, let's pull it home with you.

SPEAKER_02 33:53

Um, I would tell women that you're worthy of being heard, and so to say it anyways.

SPEAKER_03 34:00

Say it anyways. I I love that. And I I probably would have you unpack that, but I have a feeling that it would lead to a lot more than we have time for. Um I I'm gonna go ahead and I I could literally sit in these conversations with you guys forever, and it doesn't feel like we've been sitting here for almost two hours talking about this stuff. And even sitting in this, in this situation or in this setting, even though I've already spoken and I know you ladies individually, I still feel so much more validated in my own life experience, knowing that there are other people that have felt it too. Because at some point I know I told myself that I deserved the things that bad that happened to me. And knowing that you guys have shared similar stories, and knowing that I can look at you and say that you didn't deserve a bad thing that happened to you, I can now ease more easily believe that I didn't probably deserve it. So I I will never be able to thank you guys enough for being here. Um your voices have been heard, your laughter has been felt. And I am so thankful, and on behalf of anyone that's listening, more than two people. I know that they thank you as well. She lectured me about that the other day. Um I am gonna take a second to turn my couch this way now. And if you forgive me. Thanks for having us. We're not we're not done there. Okay, all right, all right, I'm the host, remember? All right, I'll tell you when to say that. Okay. All right, I'm gonna shift over to this camera. Actually, yeah, this camera. Um, and if you forgive me, most of the things that I say are off the cover. Um, but I do want to read this because it's it's just that important to me. Um you've now heard every story built in season one. And if you've really been listening, you know that this is not just a podcast. This is truly an uprising. These women sat down, these and others and my son, and told the truth. Not the filtered kind, not the version that keeps the peace, the kind that shakes the ground just a little bit. And when their words hit the air, something has moved. I've seen it in messages in the hallways and break rooms, people finally talking, finally saying me too, but they're saying it out loud instead of swallowing it. That's what truth does and truth multiplies. People like to reduce my story to a mugshot. They like to whisper like it's a warning. They try to use my pain as proof that I should have stayed small, but my pain became my purpose and I am not ashamed of it. I have walked through hell and I came out with my spirit on fire. I didn't crawl out of that to stay quiet. Women are done being quiet. Let this be a physical example that we are tired of staying small. I am not afraid to lead the charge. This is my kingdom work, reminding every woman who listens that her voice still matters, her story still matters, she still matters. The more we speak, the more we find each other, the more we tell the truth, the less room there is for shame to grow. That's the revolution we've started here, one story at a time. Season one is now over, but the mission is not. We have cracked something open that cannot be closed again. So rest, breathe, and get ready because season two is coming. Louder, braver, and completely unafraid. We are not finished, not even close. My name is Jennifer Eddings. All my love, all my light. This is the calllight. And that is it.