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The Drop Box
Austin Powers in Goldmember
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On this episode of The Drop Box, I’m joined by my guest Karlo as we take a groovy trip back into the absurd, over-the-top world of Austin Powers in Goldmember. From unforgettable one-liners to some of the wildest characters in comedy, we break down what makes this movie such a chaotic classic and whether it still holds up today.
Hey everybody, just wanted to chime in really quickly before the episode gets rolling here. Just wanted to let you all know that the Dropbox is expanding. We have created a YouTube channel. You can now find us at the Dropbox Movie Podcast on YouTube. Feel free to leave a comment, leave a like, or a dislike if you think it's shit. That's always okay too. Thank you all so much for everything that you do, and as always, enjoy the episode. You're listening to the Dropbox. The only podcast where rewinding is optional, and late bees don't apply. Where each episode we chat with guests, dive into a new movie, and probably spoil it. What's going on, everybody? Whether this is your first time listening, or you are a returning listener, it is so great to have you here with us on the Dropbox. So that was awesome. This is this is that was a good one. That was really good. So today we are gonna be talking about none other than Austin Powers and Goldmember. Does that sound good, Carlo? Yeah, baby. So no further introduction is required. We're just gonna get right into it. Groovy. Groovy. Now we're cooking with some fucking peanut oil, boys. Well, the opening credits are rolling, man. What uh why Austin Powers? What brought your interest? I don't know.
SPEAKER_02You asked me to come in on the podcast and what will be a movie, and I just threw Goldmember out there for the movie. Yeah, just to see if I wanted you to say no for some reason, but you said yeah about the movie. I'll talk about anything, bro. And I'll watch anything. I just want to see. Yeah, I'll watch anything. Oh, this is tough not the Shaguar. The Shaguar. I wonder if he did all his own stunts in this. How did they get Tom Cruise to agree to this? Even for the five minutes, right? Yeah, seriously. Well, the opening cast is uh it's a dream team. Oh yeah, there you go.
SPEAKER_03This is the best movie, dude.
SPEAKER_02Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_03This is my shield. This is my second time watching this today.
SPEAKER_02Today. Today. Well, I watched it once today, too. This is my second time too. That I can't lie. I can't lie. It's my second time watching it today.
SPEAKER_03Really?
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03We've both, this is our second time watching this today. That's crazy.
SPEAKER_02But like my 50th time in total. Really? Yeah. You haven't seen it that many times. You're lying. You are lying.
SPEAKER_03What do you think this is the best in the trilogy?
SPEAKER_02I think out of the trilogy, yeah.
SPEAKER_03Dude, this this is it's like non-stop gags from start up.
SPEAKER_02Nonstop daddy issues from finish. Oh yeah. Yeah, baby.
SPEAKER_03How did they convince Tom Cruise to do this? Yeah, it's right, and Gwyneth Paltra was Dixie. Dixinormous. Dixinormous. Oh, yeah. How hot is she, dude? Oh, she is, baby. Oh, that aged like a box of moldy cheese, huh?
SPEAKER_02Yes, Kevin Spacely. Danny DeVito has mini mini me. The gun is bigger than him.
SPEAKER_03Austin Pussy.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, baby.
SPEAKER_03And they got Steven Spielberg in this bitch.
SPEAKER_02Man, this is when it becomes a musical.
SPEAKER_03What's that?
SPEAKER_02This is when it becomes a musical.
SPEAKER_03Oh, dude. The fuck does Shagedelic mean? Shagodelic. What does Shag Adelic mean? Like awesome?
SPEAKER_02What is that like? Sexy and awesome? Super sexy awesome. Super sexy awesome.
SPEAKER_03You gotta have mojo, babe.
SPEAKER_02If you lose it, you've lost it all.
SPEAKER_03Remember in the second movie when he lost his mojo. When he's lost his mojo, yeah.
SPEAKER_02He couldn't get no honeys.
SPEAKER_03This is the best movie.
SPEAKER_02We should learn this choreography.
SPEAKER_03Oh, Steven Spielberg is not having it. Why is Beyonce in this? How do they convince her to do this?
SPEAKER_02That's how they got people to watch.
SPEAKER_03How fine is Beyonce.
SPEAKER_02Oh, she is sexy.
SPEAKER_03Oh my goodness.
SPEAKER_02There's Murray Poppins. Singing in the Rain. Singing in the Rain.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. That's an homage to Singing in the Rain from like 1955 or some shit.
SPEAKER_02Austin in a tutu.
SPEAKER_03By all accounts, Mike Myers is a dickhead in real life. By all accounts. You ever hear that?
SPEAKER_02I heard, yeah, yeah. Oh my god. He's like a like a diva.
SPEAKER_03That's what I've heard. Who's Quincy Jones?
SPEAKER_02Quincy Jones, one of the greatest producers. He is? The guy with he kissed them. On the cheek. Austin Powers kissed Quincy Jones. On the cheek. Oh, Winnie Spears. Brittany Spears. What year was this movie? Like 2022? 2002. 2002. 2002. And Britney was popping around this time.
SPEAKER_03Oh my god. She was on top of the world in 2002. Before she had her public meltdown.
SPEAKER_02Oh man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she almost stabbed herself a couple times dancing with a with a knife. Oh god.
SPEAKER_03Dancing with a knife. But there was that whole free Britney movement a few years ago. You remember that?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, because her daddy had her curve locked up. In a conservatorship.
SPEAKER_03Conservatorship? Is it is that how that's said? She's like in her 40s now. Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_02And she looked like she hurt. What do you mean? In her 60s. She looks like she's old. Now she does? Yeah, I think so. She looks like she had a tough life. We can edit all this out, you know. You don't have to.
SPEAKER_03Dude, I don't give a fuck. This is great content.
SPEAKER_02Authenticity pays the pills. That's what's up. Oh man. Thank you for the invite, man. This is just breaking the ice for me right here. Isn't this great? I'm about to be your code your co-host.
SPEAKER_03Now here we go. Man, finally, Dr. Evil. Let's go. This is the best. Mike Myers plays.
SPEAKER_02He just got back, too.
SPEAKER_03He plays like four people in this movie. He's he's Austin Powers, he's fat bastard, he's Dr. Evil, and he's gold member. He's gold member. He's four people. He's like the Eddie Murphy of like. He's like Eddie Murphy. He played like white Eddie Murphy. Dude, literally, he is like the white Eddie Murphy. Remember a nutty professor when Eddie Murphy played like the whole family.
SPEAKER_02The whole family, yeah.
SPEAKER_03Hercules, Hercules, Hercules. I love God.
SPEAKER_02He had a smelting accident. The baby fell asleep. You know he's dead. The little guy? Yeah, he's dead, dude. What do you mean the little guy's dead? In real life, he's dead.
SPEAKER_03Wasn't he like in like in Game of Thrones the other day? No, dude, he's been dead for like a while. He committed suicide. Really? Yeah, Vern Troyer. He committed suicide. He was too alcohol intoxication. Deliberate suicide from alcohol intoxication.
SPEAKER_02He like really got alcohol poisoned.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, he was suicide by alcohol poisoning.
SPEAKER_02Wow.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02He was two foot eight. He was that little.
SPEAKER_03He did at what the fuck was it? That concert where like people went savage at Woodstock or something when he introduced Limp Biscuit. Yeah, yeah. His voice was so high pitched and he was like, Limp Biscuit. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02He likes chocolate. Mitty Me likes chocolate? Yeah. And Scotty don't. Yeah. Yeah. Scotty don't. Scotty don't. There's a kid in our in our job. Every time he comes to the window, I say, Scotty don't. Scotty don't. That's what you say to him? Yeah. Refer into this right here, Scotty don't.
SPEAKER_03Scotty don't. Scotty don't.
SPEAKER_02Man.
SPEAKER_03Should we tell the people how how the fuck we know each other? Yeah, why not? We work together.
SPEAKER_02You are co-workers. I am.
SPEAKER_03We we are co co-workers-ish.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03Kind of. What do you do, Carlo?
SPEAKER_02The chef.
SPEAKER_03He's the chef. You don't have to say where you work. It's totally confidential. No, we keep no one knows where I live.
SPEAKER_02Do people know what you do?
SPEAKER_03No, no one knows what I do. But all they need to know is that we work together.
SPEAKER_02Yes, yes, and I'm the chef. Carlo is a cook. Come on, how are you gonna downgrade me like that? When I'm trying to say I'm the chef, are you just gonna chef cook?
SPEAKER_03Isn't that like what's the difference?
SPEAKER_02I'd rather be a cook than a chef.
SPEAKER_03Why?
SPEAKER_02Well, the chef has to really manage the kitchen and you ever been like a sous chef? Yeah, yeah, that's what I am right now. That's what I am right now. Like David takes care of all the paperwork and Oh, really?
SPEAKER_03That's how that does that's how that goes down.
SPEAKER_02I do uh do most of the cooking, the dinner, you know? Serve lunch when he's gotta go take care of the paperwork. I take over the kitchen. How much paperwork is involved? It's a lot, you know. There's payroll, there's inventory. David does all that? Yeah, yeah. David does payroll? David does payroll. David pays me. He does the inventory, he orders, among other things.
SPEAKER_03And you just eat and you do all the cooking.
SPEAKER_02Not all the cooking, because he does, he does, he leaves me pretty good setup. He does breakfast and lunch.
SPEAKER_03I come in, I serve lunch, and I do the You know how to season some motherfuckers, dude. You know how to season that shit. Yes, sir. Yeah, you are. Fuck yeah, you are. Speak speaking, speaking of Puerto Rican.
SPEAKER_02You gonna bring it up?
SPEAKER_03What do you mean, what am I gonna bring up?
SPEAKER_02No, I said, are you gonna bring it up? You're gonna bring it up.
SPEAKER_03Super Bowl?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, the halftime show. I love the halftime show.
SPEAKER_03That was a lot better than I thought it was going to be. I'm gonna be totally honest.
SPEAKER_02He had a lot of surprises, yeah. Lady Gaga! Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Like Lady Gaga, I that was not on my bingo card. Lady and Ricky Martin came out.
SPEAKER_02Ricky Martin. Ricky Martin sang the most important part of the whole message that my brother was trying to deliver.
SPEAKER_03I didn't understand any of it. Could you translate it for me?
SPEAKER_02Well, Ricky Martin, Bad Bunny has a song in his last album that says that I don't want to happen to Puerto Rico what happened to Hawaii. To what? To Hawaii.
SPEAKER_03Like the fires?
SPEAKER_02No. Becoming a state. Like it got colonized and became a state.
SPEAKER_03He didn't want Puerto Rico to become part of the United States. Is that what I'm understanding?
SPEAKER_02No, not.
SPEAKER_03No? No, explain it.
SPEAKER_02Explain it. Like the history of Hawaii. I don't know. We're gonna get like into history here. We could watch Austin Powers, but we could get into some history. You know, the history of, you know, Hawaii, Guam, not Guam.
SPEAKER_03I don't know any of that. You do you know about the history of Hawaii?
SPEAKER_02It's similar to the history of Puerto Rico. You know, it it got like sold to the United States and we we've we was a colony, first of all. It's my favorite song. Daddy wasn't there. To take me to the fair. This is where where all the daddy issues begin. Where I noticed them.
SPEAKER_03Take me to the fair. When I was so I'm so glad I watched this, bro. This is top notch. Daddy wasn't there. We're about to meet our friends Fuki Me and Fuku.
SPEAKER_02And ironically, they say they twins, right? They are twins. They don't look nothing alike. No? No. They're just two Japanese girls, bro. They don't even look alike. They don't even look like sisters. You're lying. Oh shit. Yeah, watch watch. Look at her. Look at her. Now the other Japanese girl comes in. She gotta look a little longer face. Look, they're not twins. Pause it if you want. They're not twins. Turn around.
SPEAKER_03Oh my god. What do you mean? They look exactly like.
SPEAKER_02They got different noses. Look at their noses. Look at their eyes. The one on the right. Maybe I'm just maybe. It's not because they're smiling, because they're both smiling.
SPEAKER_03Maybe I'm just racist and I think all Asian people look alike.
SPEAKER_02That's what Steven Spielberg did here.
SPEAKER_03What do you mean, Steven Spielberg?
SPEAKER_02I don't know. Isn't he the director there?
SPEAKER_03Of the in-universe Austin Powers movie.
SPEAKER_02I know, I know, I know. He's not the real director. Spielberg wouldn't stoop this slow. He just came out in the movie. Look, right here, you can tell better.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I g I guess they have they have different features.
SPEAKER_02This amount, yeah. Is that on your bucket list? What does it say? Threesome with Japanese twins.
SPEAKER_03Threesome with Japanese twins? Sure, why not? Is it on your bucket list? I never thought about it. Well, you know. You've been alive longer than me. You ever you ever taken part in a threesome with two Japanese women?
SPEAKER_02No, I have never been that fortunate.
SPEAKER_03That isn't that is unfortunate.
SPEAKER_02Well, you still young, you can probably, you know, put on your bucket list and achieve it.
SPEAKER_03I'll have to put it in between writing Yeah, that's how that's the idea to put it in between two Japanese. I gotta put it I'm gonna put a j a threesome with two Japanese women in between riding a jet ski down the Statue of Liberty and getting circumcised by a redneck.
SPEAKER_02Well, the jet ski's more possible than all the other ones. I don't know.
SPEAKER_03I'll find a redneck and I'll give give it give give it the chop. Dr. Evil. Oh, just the flashback. No, this is when the no, I mean like isn't this scene with the flashback over them at the the British Naval Academy or whatever? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02It's funny you say that. Cause in this movie there's a scene that Ozzy's like, they're using all the same jokes from the second movie.
SPEAKER_01They're doing the same boobs off the book. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Boobs, Aussie.
SPEAKER_02Boobs, Aussie. Boobs. Daddy wasn't there.
SPEAKER_03Daddy wasn't there to take me to the fair and change my underwear.
SPEAKER_02You see how he runs up to the door and it doesn't open now? What? He ran up to the door and smacked it and it didn't open. Loot him run. Yeah how he did that? Yeah. I'll wait a couple minutes. Okay.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, baby. Yeah, baby. Yeah. Master evil. Dude, the the the kid who does Dr. Evil here is so good. Yeah, he is.
SPEAKER_01What a good impression. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02His evil laugh. It's so good. Who throws a cupcake?
SPEAKER_03Nice to meet you here, too.
SPEAKER_02And they got they got a perfect bullseye on his head. Oh, dude, how can you not?
SPEAKER_03Why does that this movie have like such a stacked cast? Why is Tom Cruise, Gwyneth Paltrow, Kevin Spacey, Danny DeVito, and Beyonce, and fucking who am I forgetting?
SPEAKER_02Michael Cain. But when it came out, you know, it was it was a hit.
SPEAKER_03There still is a hit.
SPEAKER_02It still is. I've watched it over 50 times, so since it came out, was it over 20 years already? 24 years this year. 24 years. Would you like to see a fourth one? Ah well, the way this one ends, that there should have been one a long time ago.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Wait, you told me to wait.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, once he leaves. Once he runs up to the door again.
SPEAKER_03Squid Pro Row.
SPEAKER_02Pro Row. Mini Me. He loves his Minimi so much.
SPEAKER_01It's a hard knock life. For us.
SPEAKER_03That's that's super bowl. Watch, look, look, look. That was pretty good. Oh yeah. And it opens right up.
SPEAKER_02I never noticed. You never caught that? No. No, sir, Connor. Come on.
SPEAKER_01The door to itself just opens up. Oh shit. How does he go back in time? He just hops. He hops around.
SPEAKER_03Wait, look.
SPEAKER_01Wait, look. The diopad. He just he just enters the year.
SPEAKER_02Oh god, I can't breathe. Oh man. 1975. And he just stops hopping around after he presses the red button. His groove suspension in that car.
SPEAKER_03Oh my god.
SPEAKER_02Oh man. Was 1975 really like that?
SPEAKER_03What year were you born in?
SPEAKER_0284.
SPEAKER_03Oh, you weren't alive in 75?
SPEAKER_02I'm an 80s baby. I'm not that old, Conor.
SPEAKER_03You were born in 84?
SPEAKER_0284. 1984.
SPEAKER_03What are you 38?
SPEAKER_02Nice, thank you. You're bad with your math.
SPEAKER_0394, 2000 for 20. You're 42?
SPEAKER_02Yes, sir.
SPEAKER_03Holy fuck.
SPEAKER_02Damn, you didn't know that. You finding out now?
SPEAKER_03I thought you were 40.
SPEAKER_02I'm about to be 42 in November.
SPEAKER_03It's your favorite part, huh? Any scene with Beyoncé is just top notch.
SPEAKER_02He has a kissing scene with her, too.
SPEAKER_03Of course. I knew that. And she sings so good. Her voice is so sexy, dude.
SPEAKER_02And she wasn't married yet by this time. She got married in 2008.
SPEAKER_03Too bad her husband is about as good looking as a bag of dicks. Shit. We gang like that? What's that? We uh okay. He is an ugly motherfucker. Jay-Z, that's like how does that match up?
SPEAKER_02It doesn't, you know?
SPEAKER_03Like the pockets match up. I mean, is he worth more than her? He's gotta be worth more than her. Are they both billionaires at this point?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, because she hasn't made I don't know. Her last album was Country and Oh, I forgot about that. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03I bonded really I bonded really good with a lady who cut my hair over that album.
SPEAKER_02You serious?
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02What do you mean?
SPEAKER_03I last time I got my hair cut. She was cutting my hair, and I had some help by Post Malone and Morgan Walling came on. And we were just chatting and vibing, and I was like, why is it that like everyone lately has gone country? I'm like, Post Malone went country, Beyonce went country, Falling in Reverse went country, Jelly Rolls full country now. Like everyone just went to full country. And she was like, Oh yeah, I'm rather die with Beyonce though. I love all things black. And I'm like, oh no doubt, no doubt. Oh shit. And I was like, no, yeah, no, I was like, no doubt, no doubt. I just love the fact. What did I say? I was like, I think it's bullshit the fact that she won country album of music album of the year over Chris Stapleton.
SPEAKER_02No, that's it.
SPEAKER_03Like that was cra that was crazy to me. Yeah. And uh that's not me d diminishing what Beyonce has done. Like, she's great, she's iconic, she's the fucking queen bee. But she come on, her first country album beats Chris Stapleton. Nah, nah. Nah. That was that is kind of crazy. That was BS to me. Oh, there you go. Nathan Lane. Diving Turkey. Foxy cleaner. Oh, you said the man what name was? Nathan Lane. Nathan Lynn. He he that guy, you ever seen The Lion King? Yeah. He's the voice of Timone, the Meerkat. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but he doesn't talk here. He's just mouthing what Beyonce is saying. Wasn't he in the movie where Robin Williams was in the city? He was in the birdcage. The birdcage. He was in the birdcage with Robin Williams.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Did you ever see the OJ Simpson show on FX with Cuba Gooding?
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03He was on the Dream Team. He was one of the lawyers. He acted his ass off in the OJ show. That was good all around.
SPEAKER_02I didn't watch too much of it.
SPEAKER_03I just two or three times, bro.
SPEAKER_02Really? The whole thing? Yeah.
SPEAKER_03It's that good. Cuba Gooding is great. Because he plays OJ and he's great, and they leave it deliberately ambiguous. And what is this on? It's on Hulu. On Hulu. I believe it's on Hulu. But Sarah Paulson was Who was the lady that was trying to prosecute OJ? Marsha Clark and the guy that played Johnny Cochrane was fucking great. David Schwimmer played Robert Kardashian. Just top-notch. Everyone was great. Okay, okay. Oh yeah. I gotta look into that. The people versus OJ Simpson. American crime story. It's like an eight-episode miniseries. That's the one with John Travolta in it? Yep, yep, yep. He played, he played um who the fuck did he play? Play one of those Bob Shapiro. He played Bob Shapiro. He was great. Oh, he was real good. He had makeup on and shit, right? Yeah, oh yeah, a whole lot of makeup. Oh, dude.
SPEAKER_02He took a viagma. I stuck in my neck. English people really talk like that.
SPEAKER_03Maybe famous. British people. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02She sat on a turtle. She sat or shot.
SPEAKER_03Shat on a turtle.
SPEAKER_02She shedded on a turtle.
SPEAKER_03She's filing his nails. I never noticed that either.
SPEAKER_02Oh, we missed him skating. When he lifts his yeah, roller skating. When he lifts his legs over his his head. The smell of it. The taste of it. He said we're both swingers. You got a top body. You both stringers. A cigar and a waffle. Pipe and a crepe.
SPEAKER_03Bong and a blinch.
SPEAKER_02I would like a bong and a blinch.
SPEAKER_03That would be pretty nice.
SPEAKER_02That is so nasty.
SPEAKER_03What is it? Skin?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, he peels his skin and eats it. Oh, he saves it. In the Dutch. Dutch. That's racist.
SPEAKER_03It's funny though.
SPEAKER_02I like the way he jumps into the time machine.
SPEAKER_03We're under arrest.
SPEAKER_02Sugar. Dive turkey.
SPEAKER_03It's weird, but like Beyoncé's voice works so well for the part. I can't explain it. Like her voice makes it funnier. Like it works with like the silliness of Austin Powers.
SPEAKER_02And the lingo they make her make her say, yeah. I didn't know the time machine could drive.
SPEAKER_03That's great. Dude, you ever seen Scooby-Doo Monsters Unleashed?
SPEAKER_02I remember seeing it, but I don't remember the movie. We're gonna have to review that one too. Dude, we're gonna have to review it. Scooby-Doo 2. Super high. Dude.
SPEAKER_03Oh, yeah. There you go. Get you some of that, man.
SPEAKER_02Oh, this is the best part. Scotty does. He went from Scotty too. He's like a proud father. Would you smash? And my wife is gonna be watching this. Your what your wife knows you're here? She knows I'm here recording with you, yeah. Podcast, so she's gonna be like, let's see what you said.
SPEAKER_03Show dude, show her the movie and she'll understand it was a joke. Take what one look at that lady and go, oh god.
SPEAKER_02No, I wouldn't. Uh, you're you're a loyal man. These are the people that made him evil. Look at his uh his bandana. I know. He's gangster. That's his baby mama. I was just rather died.
SPEAKER_03She was on the Disney Channel in Nickelodeon.
SPEAKER_02She was.
SPEAKER_03She played the principle? No. She played the principal on iCarly. And she played the other principal on Ant Farm. Really? Yeah. Ant Farm. Ant Farm was on the Disney Channel in like 2011. I was in like the fifth grade. What year were you born in? 2000. 2000. 2000. 2000. Brandon Millennium, baby. My first birthday was the day after 9-11, if you can believe it. So September? September 12th.
SPEAKER_02My brother's birthday, September 18th. Yeah? Yeah. He's 89 though.
SPEAKER_03Your brother's 89.
SPEAKER_02No, no, he's the year he was born in. 89. 89. Tim Mother Fizzle.
SPEAKER_03This is the best movie.
SPEAKER_02Right, right. You see what I told you? Oh. You see? And high as fuck. Oh man. This is the best.
SPEAKER_03Stick that in your piping spookage.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_01Oh.
SPEAKER_02Oh, he's just like the flavor flav.
SPEAKER_03Where did those where did the woman come from?
SPEAKER_02Where'd they get those ladies? Those are the beaches. Beaches? Be biatches. Put a mop on their head, right? Oh, that's right. And they become biatches.
SPEAKER_03Dr. Evil is escaping from prison. And then they maybe.
SPEAKER_02On the motorcycle.
SPEAKER_03There's someone at work right now. I'm not going to say any names, but there's someone at work who is not a native English speaker. And we have been gradually filling him in on like American English lingo. And he had heard the word midget for the first time. He had never heard the word midget, and he was like, What does midget mean? And I was like, it's like slang for someone with dwarfism. And he's like, Midget, midget, midget, midget, midget, midget, midget, midget. He also heard it was the funniest thing.
SPEAKER_02He also heard the word poopoo platter. Oh, dude, yeah. And he almost poopoo himself. When he heard poopoo platter? When he heard poopoo platter. And that it was something people eat.
SPEAKER_03Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_02He shitted himself.
SPEAKER_03Do they not have Chinese food in Venezuela?
SPEAKER_02I don't know.
SPEAKER_03Have you ever been to Venezuela?
SPEAKER_02I'm Puerto Rican.
SPEAKER_03That doesn't mean you've never been to Venezuela. Have you ever been to Puerto Rico?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah, I've been to Puerto Rico.
SPEAKER_03Were you born in Puerto Rico?
SPEAKER_02I was born in Puerto Rico.
SPEAKER_03You really were born in Puerto Rico? No shit. Where about?
SPEAKER_02Ganoana.
SPEAKER_03Really? Yeah. That's sick. That's sick. You know where I was born, Carlo?
SPEAKER_02Where? In Stowe. Stowe. I don't know. Somewhere over there by Worcester.
SPEAKER_03Brother, I was born in Framingaham.
SPEAKER_02Framingah. Flamingham. You see, I knew you was in Worcester County, boy.
SPEAKER_03I was, dude, I've the furthest I've ever been is Florida. I've never left the country.
SPEAKER_02And everybody that vacations go from your area goes to Florida.
SPEAKER_03Pretty much.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03I don't know if I'd want to leave the country now with how fucking polarized everything is.
SPEAKER_02Well, Puerto Rico, you don't have to leave the country.
SPEAKER_03Oh yeah, that's part, yeah. That's central Central America, though.
SPEAKER_02Centrally America. That's what you want to say, right? Centrally United States. Because America's the whole both of the continents.
SPEAKER_03It's called like Puerto Rico, Cuba, that whole area. That's the Caribbean. It's called it's I thought it was just nationally referred to as Central America.
SPEAKER_02Central America is El Salvador, Guatemala.
SPEAKER_03Oh, am I mistaken?
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Oh, okay. Mexico and further down towards South America.
SPEAKER_03Oh, really?
SPEAKER_02Panama.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_02That's Central America.
SPEAKER_03Oh, I learned something new. So Puerto Rico isn't a part of Central America.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. No. No, it's part of United States of America. But it's I did.
SPEAKER_03Oh, wait, look at this.
SPEAKER_02Well, I guess you can say it's part of Central America. Yeah, it's the Caribbean.
SPEAKER_03He farted. Look at his little how he flopping Finns. We look look at his face. It's the best. No, I I all my life I've been operating under the illusion that Puerto Rico was like a central part of Central America.
unknownHuh.
SPEAKER_02Well, geographically, I guess it is in the Central America area. You know?
SPEAKER_03Interesting. I didn't do that. I'm learning so much geography from you.
SPEAKER_02I like geography a little bit.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. I like local geography. Local geo. Well, you haven't never never left the states. You have never left the 49 49 states. 48. 48 states.
SPEAKER_03There's 50.
SPEAKER_02Right?
SPEAKER_03You said 48.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Cause two of those states are not on the same. Oh, wait, like what?
SPEAKER_03Hawaii is in the touch?
SPEAKER_02And oh, and Alaska's. We're really learning about geography tonight.
SPEAKER_03Dude, Alaska's up at like the tip of Canada.
SPEAKER_02Yes. You think Trump is gonna buy Greenland? Well, Drump can do whatever he wants nowadays. Oh god. He took over Venezuela, so yeah.
SPEAKER_03Oh, dude. I was talking to my sister like a week ago, and I I just proposed the question. I was like, uh since when are we allowed to like bomb foreign countries and kidnap their leaders? I know that he's being accused of some heinous shit, but it just seems the way that they went about it, about executing it, was just kind of not the best.
SPEAKER_02What did your sister think?
SPEAKER_03She agreed. She agreed. I I was just like, wow, I didn't realize we had the power to do that. I don't know. That just seemed crazy to me.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, it is kind of crazy. It is kind of crazy, but hey, they did it to Puerto Rico.
SPEAKER_03When did they do that to Puerto Rico?
SPEAKER_02In nine in 1898.
SPEAKER_03Oh wow. The United States did that?
SPEAKER_02Yes, sir. First we were a part of Spain, and then the United States came in with the Spanish and American War and the Jones Act. It's called the Join Act. Okay. They acquired Puerto Rico, Guam, and the Virgin Islands, I believe. Who was in the White House in 1898? You got me there. I look it up. Look that up. Who was the president in 1918?
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Who was in the White House? William McKinley. William McKinley was the president of the United States. I don't know, just leaving the country right now, just I feel like I feel like everyone thinks we're idiots. I feel like everyone is laughing at us. Like low-key. I feel like the world is laughing at us.
SPEAKER_02Low-key?
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02I might be wrong on my facts, so you know you can't really like quote me on this shit. No, like your word isn't golden, but I mean I you know more than I do, so I have no reason to miss. I wasn't ready to come on here and talk history and stuff.
SPEAKER_03No, that's that's that's okay. It's just we're just we're just riffing here, brother.
SPEAKER_02Alright, alright. Once we get no backlash over this, like, you know, I don't know what he's talking about.
SPEAKER_03No, fuck that shit. Dude, then that's their problem. We're not journalists.
SPEAKER_02No, no, no, we're not.
SPEAKER_03We're just two dudes chilling watching Austin Powers. Exactly. We have no journalistic integrity here.
SPEAKER_02So what made you want to start doing this?
SPEAKER_03So it was someone at work about a year ago, and he had a podcast, and I asked him, I was like, Oh, by any chance, can you make money doing this? And he was like, Yeah, yeah, you you can. And I was like, Oh, I'm not doing this to make money, I'm doing it as a hobby, and I I love m filming TV, it's always been just a passion of mine, and now I'm literally able to do it as like a hobby that can potentially pay me money.
SPEAKER_02Filming TV. I always wanted to get into doing videos and shit.
SPEAKER_03I remember being like six years old going to Walmart and just begging my mom to let me buy buy her let I wanted a movie, Carlo.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Wanted a movie. I wanted a movie, and I was like, buy me a movie, buy me a movie, and she went, buy me a movie. I've always loved it.
SPEAKER_02Movies is the shit.
SPEAKER_03It's I feel like it's the best storytelling art form. Like, where else could we see something this ridiculous? Only in the movies. Only in the movies. Yeah, look at how bad this green screen is. Look at this. It's awful. I've never noticed that. You never did, dude. I noticed that immediately. Oh my god, bro. The first time I watched this, I was like, that is awful.
SPEAKER_02I pick up on shit like that. I probably doze off, usually doze off during that part or something, because that's some shit.
SPEAKER_03I love how we was literally doing just a Shrek voice for fat bastard.
SPEAKER_02Shrek voice. I didn't even notice that.
SPEAKER_03That's literally a Shrek voice. Hey, donkey!
SPEAKER_01Donkey!
SPEAKER_03You know my favorite Helen Hunt movie? Twister!
SPEAKER_02Fat bastard. He's the Yokosuna. Yokosuna means grand champion, too.
SPEAKER_03His whole character is just poop humor.
SPEAKER_02Poop. And he's singing a pizza song.
SPEAKER_03Oh my god.
SPEAKER_02Yeah? That's how you feel?
SPEAKER_03She she is beautiful.
SPEAKER_02I think you gotta type, Connor.
SPEAKER_03Oh, uh you wanna know my type?
SPEAKER_02I I think I see your type.
SPEAKER_03Like like brown.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, like Beyonce Brown.
SPEAKER_03Specifically, like specifically, like caramel.
SPEAKER_02Yeah? You gotta be caramel. Okay, okay. Connor. Okay. Kana likes some flavor.
SPEAKER_03My first, well, my first girlfriend was Puerto Rican. Okay. We dated for three and a half years.
SPEAKER_02And this was in Framingham?
SPEAKER_03No, no, no. Uh when I before I moved out of my mom's house when I lived in Worcester County.
SPEAKER_02Worcester County. Yeah. Framingham is Worcester County, just saying.
SPEAKER_03I don't think it is. I don't think Framingham is in Worcester County.
SPEAKER_02It is.
SPEAKER_03Very small town with like 2,000 people.
SPEAKER_02Google it.
SPEAKER_03What?
SPEAKER_02Is Framingham in Worcester County?
SPEAKER_03No, it's in Middlesex County.
SPEAKER_02Middlesex?
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Oh, so you're gonna enter that out.
SPEAKER_03Maybe. I don't know. There's a lot of people in this state. Matitties!
SPEAKER_02So he's fighting himself in this? Yeah. This was cool.
SPEAKER_03Good you knew! I can't do a Scottish accent.
SPEAKER_02Steps on them and they're all square fat bastard flying through the air.
SPEAKER_03You're gonna see Shrek 5 when it comes out?
SPEAKER_02Shrek 5? I don't even know it was a little bit more.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, you never you didn't see the trailer for Shrek 5? No.
SPEAKER_02Have you seen the trailer to Mario Galaxy?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, dude. You gonna see that shit?
SPEAKER_02Yes, I'm gonna see that shit.
SPEAKER_03Wait, you have a Nintendo Switch?
SPEAKER_02Yes, sir.
SPEAKER_03You a big Mario fan?
SPEAKER_02I am a Mario fan.
SPEAKER_03Very I I fuck with Nintendo.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah. Grew up on Nintendo. Nintendo Super Nintendo.
SPEAKER_03I played like the very first Mario Kart when I went home for the holidays. That shit is wild. Like this last one? The most recent Mario Kart? No, no, like the very first ever from like 2006 or something.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, from the Super Nintendo, I think it was.
SPEAKER_03From like the first ever Nintendo Wii. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02That's not the first Mario Kart.
SPEAKER_03When was the first Mario Kart?
SPEAKER_02Let me get my facts right.
SPEAKER_03Fat bastard just shit his pants.
SPEAKER_0292 and Super Nintendo.
SPEAKER_03The first Mario Kart came out in 1992. And the Super Nintendo. Oh my god. Wow. I played the one from like 2006.
SPEAKER_02And you think that's old. I played the one from 1992.
SPEAKER_031992 wasn't that that's not too long before I was born.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, before you was born.
SPEAKER_03Dude, most shit was before I was born. I never lived through the 90s, bro.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, no, you was born after. Dr. Evil. Scotty, don't whoa, Scotty's gonna bow. I love when she screams in all the movies when she opened the tank, lowered the missile, or fucking lower the globe and it falls on his head.
SPEAKER_03Are those sharks with freaking laser beams attached to their frickin' heads?
SPEAKER_02The best evil son ever. Who you think about self-green in this?
SPEAKER_03All I hear is Chris Griffin.
SPEAKER_02Chris Griffin.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Well, I see the little kid from Scream. Scream?
SPEAKER_03Wasn't he like in the first Scream? No, he wasn't in Scream. He was in the It with the with the clown in like 1990 with Tim Curry. Yeah. You remember that? How young he was in that? Yeah, look at how young he was in it.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was so young. Oh, scary movie.
SPEAKER_03Seth Green was in Scary Movie. Scary movie. You know they're making another one? They'll bring it back. The Wayans are coming back to do it. Well, what was that? Scary movie, the new scary movie movie? Oh, yes, like Sarry Movie 7. Something like that. The Wayans are coming. The Wayin brothers are coming back to do it.
SPEAKER_02Okay, okay. Oh no, I'm thinking Scream. My bad. I'm thinking Scream.
SPEAKER_03Sorry, sorry. Seth Green wasn't in Scream. In Scream. No. I don't think Seth Green was in Scream. I'm getting all my shit fucked up. Dude, look at how bad the green screen is, Carlo. Wait. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02They're on the bridge.
SPEAKER_03It's so bad.
SPEAKER_02You know, I just realized something now that you said it.
SPEAKER_03What is it?
SPEAKER_02Seth Green. And who's the other green guy that who's the other Seth that does Seth McFarlane? McFarlane. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, they're they both are on family.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I always confuse those two. That's what's going on.
SPEAKER_03That's what happened. Okay. Yeah, no. Seth Green is Chris Griffin. And Seth McFarlane, he does Peter Griffin, he does Brian, he does Quagmire and Stewie. Okay, okay. He does all four of those. Giggity.
SPEAKER_02You a Quagmire fan?
SPEAKER_03He's funny. A pervert, but he's funny. Hardcore dude.
SPEAKER_02His dad is the transvestite. Remember that episode?
SPEAKER_03Quagmire's dad is trans.
SPEAKER_02Didn't he almost bang him? Brian did. Brian. Brian.
SPEAKER_03Brian. When when Brian found out that Quagmire's dad was transgender, he puked for like a minute straight. It was it was very funny.
SPEAKER_02Yo, your family guy friends. Dude, the cutaways are so funny.
SPEAKER_03It's such lazy humor, though. It's like, oh gee, I oh gee, I remember this nervous since I was like, uh I remember this nervous since I saw Goodwill Hunting with Paul Schreiner. That's stupid. I saw one the other day. It was like it was like, oh god, I haven't been this scared since I was Matt Damon's neck. And then it's so stupid, it's like, hey Matt, hey Matt, are you gonna do another movie when you pay a wet another well-educated Boston street tough? And he's like, hey, shut up, you! He's like, what are you gonna do? Choke me? I'm your neck. I'm your neck, you'll die. It's so stupid.
SPEAKER_02That is crazy. Oh man.
SPEAKER_03This sucks worse than Easter Sunday or Richard Keys. That's what they say.
SPEAKER_02I would like to be your co-host. You want to be my co-host. Yes.
SPEAKER_03Well, you gotta do this at least at least once a week. Dude, I don't know if I can do this once a week, but if you want to come on frequently, we can totally do that. Shit, hell yeah. You can totally do that. It'll give me a reason to make episodes. Yeah, yeah. Well, because I recorded another episode earlier today that I'm gonna have out soon, and I'm recording another one on Saturday. What do you recorded earlier? I'm recording an episode with uh two uh two friends of mine on Saturday. And I recorded an episode another episode today, and I'll leave it a surprise as to what it is. I'll let you see it when it comes out. It's a surprise. Okay, okay. It's a shocker. Does it have to be movies or to can it be current events? I mean, I'd like to start off with a movie and we can lead into current events. Like I'll give you an example. Like I had a friend that wanted to talk about the NBA gambling scandal. Okay. And I said, okay, we can lead in with Space Jam. Space Jam? Yeah. It was UBC Space Jam? Yeah. Yeah. And then we'll be like we'll we'll talk about Space Jam and then why why do you like basketball and the gambling scandal and all that? Okay, okay.
SPEAKER_02So you guys reviewed Space Jam.
SPEAKER_03Stay tuned. Space Jam is coming up. Space Jam. It looks like a dick.
SPEAKER_02What and two small little balls.
SPEAKER_03Two small little balls.
SPEAKER_02That's his gold, member.
SPEAKER_03What does this car look like? Why does Beyonce? Walk around and like abra this whole movie. And I'm not com I'm not complaining, but like never noticed. I didn't. Wait a minute. I I I did is what I meant to say.
SPEAKER_02Like the whole movie? I don't have to pay attention now. Almost the whole movie, yeah. Earlier he smacked Dr. Evil's wife's butt when she walked by. And now he's hitting on the Austin Powers girl. Nigel Powers. So he's hitting on both his kids. Well, sorry, Ruan. Spoiler.
SPEAKER_03Spoiler alert.
SPEAKER_02Both his kids' girlfriends.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, Nigel Powers is perfect on everyone.
SPEAKER_02Look at the little cars. What do they look like? Little peepees. What do the cars look like? Like little sperms? What the fuck? They do? Turn the Yeah, look. What's them little cars look like? What are they? This part's fucking stupid. Oh shit. Who is that?
SPEAKER_03That's so good.
SPEAKER_02He got preparation H in his rear. You know what preparation H is? What's preparation H? What's that? Heroin? No. What is it? It's like hemorrhoid cream or something. Hemorrho cream. That you put on people's butt and stuff. You serious? You don't know what that is? No?
SPEAKER_03I didn't know preparation H was referring to hemorrhoid cream. I never knew that.
SPEAKER_02You know he's got a a submarine full of semen, right? Dr. Evil? Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02He's got a submarine full of semen.
SPEAKER_03Bro, that that that joke, I heard that joke in middle school, bro. Oh yeah. Bro, what's long hard and full of semen? A submarine.
SPEAKER_02Well, you was in middle school like in 2015. The year before. 14.
SPEAKER_03What year were you in middle school?
SPEAKER_0299, 98, 99.
SPEAKER_03That was when you were in middle school? Yeah. What was middle school like in the 90s?
SPEAKER_01You stupid.
SPEAKER_02The same?
SPEAKER_01The same? Yeah, I don't get it. Yeah, the same.
SPEAKER_02Cutting class, fighting. I don't know. Did you play in your Ataris? Uh Atari, no. I was some Super Nintendo mode at that time. Oh my god.
SPEAKER_03That's Shag Italic, man.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, groovy, baby.
SPEAKER_03Yo, he kicks the shit out of him. Minnie Me doesn't talk at all. He doesn't say a word.
SPEAKER_02He makes noises. He writes a couple of letters. He hits them with mash shit. He fucks them up.
SPEAKER_03Puts him in a pillow. In a sack?
SPEAKER_02That's like what a pillow sack? It's a pillowcase. In a pillowcase.
SPEAKER_03You remember the pillow sack race of 2004?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, no. I remember the pillow of the sack races, but. Of 2004? No, what was so special of it? Were you in it?
SPEAKER_03Dude, I wish I was. The Pillow Sack race of 2004 was a tradition. What? Explain. I don't understand. I'm pulling shit out of my ass. I don't know. I don't have any direction with what I'm saying. 2004. Okay. Yeah. Should I Google it? Sure, see what comes up. The Pelo Sack race of 2004.
SPEAKER_02Pillow sack race.
SPEAKER_03I know a potato sack race. Oh, the potato you would fit in a potato sack rather better than you would in a pillowcase.
SPEAKER_02I'm not mini me size. He's Shagadalic.
SPEAKER_03Oh my god.
SPEAKER_02Now he's mini af any what is it? Mini Austin?
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02He's a when we first see him talk. Does that count as lines in the movie? Writing them?
SPEAKER_03I mean, uh uh it's not it's not verbal, but I guess. You gotta get paid for for that, right? Yeah, of course. He got paid.
SPEAKER_02Would you like one? Yeah. Connor's asking the same thing. Dude, uh dude, Foxy.
SPEAKER_03The things I would want Beyonce to do to me. Fiona Foxy Cleopatra? Foxy. One million billion can dollars.
SPEAKER_02Cold fusion. And the shade the the tractor beam comes out of his ass.
SPEAKER_03It's a freaking space laser.
SPEAKER_02Like boobs.
SPEAKER_03Titans, yeah!
SPEAKER_02Big juicy melons.
SPEAKER_03Titans, yeah!
SPEAKER_02Oh, this is your favorite part, right? As you were saying.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, that's the best.
SPEAKER_02Rest in peace, Ozzy.
SPEAKER_03Rip Ozzy Osborne. Boobs, Ozzy.
SPEAKER_02Where did the satellite the boob satellite go? I don't know. It just disappeared.
SPEAKER_03Oh no, the the car is on the bottom of Dr. Evil's ship.
SPEAKER_02I didn't know they made a wet suit that small.
SPEAKER_03Me neither. With a tank and everything.
SPEAKER_02Oh oh oh.
SPEAKER_03That's so funny.
SPEAKER_02Oh, here we go. Cool. Is it a different color or the same?
SPEAKER_03No. She was she's just wearing an orange one now. She's wearing a green bra, now she's wearing an orange bra.
SPEAKER_02I axes. I know you would notice. I know you you're paying attention.
SPEAKER_03Of course. Like you're not. Shut up. Dude, any man on this any man on this earth would not pass up the opportunity to look at Beyonce's boobs. What are you mad?
SPEAKER_02He went bald real quick.
SPEAKER_03This is like the best character arc I've seen in a movie since Michael Corleone and The Godfather.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Is that top grade?
SPEAKER_02Top notch. Yeah, dude.
SPEAKER_03You get it, you get it.
SPEAKER_02Top notch, man. The tiny legs. That is the one of the best parts of this movie. What was that? Apple cider vinegar?
SPEAKER_03Apple juice. Oh, apple juice. You really got a problem, buddy. But I see if you see a physician, that is disgusting.
SPEAKER_02He put his face on his hand on his face. This is fucking cool if Minnie Me was really carrying Austin Powers. Hey man. Right? Minnie me.
SPEAKER_03Minnie Me's is the G for that one. Minnie Me's a stud. Think so? Yeah. Look at him.
SPEAKER_02He's like a little pony. What was the glove for? I didn't get the glove part.
SPEAKER_03I don't know. I think it's just to add to the ridiculousness of the fact that it looks like Minnie Me's hand is Austin Powers schlong. Wiener. His water broke. He's having a baby. Oh.
SPEAKER_02Austin Powers is giving birth. This is fucking crazy.
SPEAKER_03There goes Mini Mee.
SPEAKER_02And he falls right in her lap. Well, little man. He a great little man. Oh, baby mama. You see baby mama?
SPEAKER_03Dr. Evil's baby mama.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that's really his right hand. She's been with him since what? 1960-75?
SPEAKER_03Really?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, when he was locked up when they went back in time, remember?
SPEAKER_03Which one did they do that? When they had Scotty. Was that Shagged Me?
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Oh, I haven't finished that one yet.
SPEAKER_02No. Oh man. What's going on here? What's going on? Oh. He's not gonna let him shoot him. What do you mean, your son? Plot twist. Dougie!
SPEAKER_03Dougie?
SPEAKER_02Ugh. Scotty's his grandson.
SPEAKER_03The car just exploded. What a young Michael Cain.
SPEAKER_02It's his best days. Doesn't like the Dutch.
SPEAKER_03They share a border with the Dutch.
SPEAKER_02He don't like the Dutch.
SPEAKER_03What a weird demographic of people to be racist towards. The Dutch? Like, what the fuck?
SPEAKER_02That's a white race, right?
SPEAKER_03Like, right? Yeah. People from the Netherlands, dude. You don't get much whiter than the Netherlands. I'm serious, bro. You don't get much. Maybe, maybe maybe Sweden. But you don't get much whiter than the Netherlands, bro.
SPEAKER_02He's a brother. Just like that.
SPEAKER_03He forgives them.
SPEAKER_02Well, I think they're twins. You think they're twins? I think. I don't know. They have the same mother and father.
SPEAKER_03Hey, some twins look nothing alike. No. Look at my sister and I. Oh shit. How ironic. Yeah, yes, I have a twin sister. Yes, we look nothing alike. That's a good thing. Yeah, for her. I hope she don't hear this. What's that? I hope she don't hear this. I don't give a fuck if she does. She'd think it was funny if she heard it.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, baby. That's your uncle saying it to you. Like he hates his whole family right now.
SPEAKER_03What a villainark.
SPEAKER_02Is Minnie Me like his little brother?
SPEAKER_03I have no idea. I don't think Minnie Me is Dr. Evil's son. Is he?
SPEAKER_02No. How did A clone, so the little clone that would be That's what he is?
SPEAKER_03He's a clone of Dr. Evil?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, so that's like his little daddy.
SPEAKER_03Maybe. Gonna dive in and get it.
SPEAKER_02He's got a second key. That spare key. His dog!
SPEAKER_01My vinky was a key. My vinky.
SPEAKER_02His vinky was the key.
SPEAKER_03See how flexible he is with his legs? Oh my god. You can put his legs behind his head.
SPEAKER_02The tractor beam. Coming out his ass. What? It says Diddy on his ass. I never noticed that. You see that shit?
SPEAKER_03Dr. Evil has a tattoo of Diddy. That says Diddy on his ass. No shit. What the fuck? That aged like a pack of moldycraft mac and cheese. What the fuck? Wow. Hey man, it's 2002. Diddy wasn't a pervert in 2002. At least that that we knew of. Wow.
SPEAKER_02Well, now in 2006, we do. 26, 2026, now we do. 24 years later. Wow.
SPEAKER_03Even back then there were signs, you see? In 2002, yeah. There were signs that Diddy was a Diddy like booty. That Diddy Diddy had a cum dungeon in 2002. He got motherfuckers tattooing their name in his ass. Dr. Evil went to the Diddy parties. He is wearing white. The white parties. Oh shit. You're under rest, sugar. That's John Travolta. Tremorkin a pancake.
SPEAKER_02John Travolta has gold manbo. That would have been a great movie. Tom Cruise has Austin Powers.
SPEAKER_03Seriously.
SPEAKER_02Tom Cruise, right? That would have been a cast.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, Tom Cruise, Gwendeth Paltrow.
SPEAKER_02What? Kevin Space. Kevin Spacely.
SPEAKER_03Danny DeVito.
SPEAKER_02That would have been good. That's good.
SPEAKER_03Fab Bastard. I went on the subway diet.
SPEAKER_02The Jarrett diet. Just like Jarrett. Hey, that's the consequence, right? You're losing weight. Your neck looking like a vagina.
SPEAKER_03Hey man. All that excess skin, you gotta get surgery to get it off.
SPEAKER_02Clip that shit off, huh?
SPEAKER_03Seriously, was just get some scissors and just clip it.
SPEAKER_02What was that episode that I think Peter Griffin, like, he was held it, held it back with like close hanger clips?
SPEAKER_03Peter Griffin did? All of his excess skin. I thought that might have been the Simpsons.
SPEAKER_02The Simpsons.
SPEAKER_03I'm Ken Prockman. And then his skin started to sag and he went. And he clipped it in the back.
SPEAKER_02We see Scotty taking over the chair in the Hollywood.
SPEAKER_03Scotty finished his villain arc.
SPEAKER_02Scotty doing the moonwalk and shit. We just did that podcast like that. That's a We just did that.
SPEAKER_03Dude, that's a rap on Goldmember, Carlo.
SPEAKER_02What do you uh What the fuck?
SPEAKER_03What do you what do you think of Goldmember?
SPEAKER_02Goldmember is one of my favorite corniest movie ever. Yeah? Yeah.
SPEAKER_03What turned you onto Austin Powers?
SPEAKER_02Well, the the Spies Who Shagg Me.
SPEAKER_03How did you hear about the Spy Who Shagged Me?
SPEAKER_02Well, you know, it was a hit movie, and I don't know. I got intrigued with the mojo, babe.
SPEAKER_03You got, do you like Mike Myers? I like Mike Myers, yeah. You ever see that SNL skit he did with Macaulay Culkin when he was in the bath with him? No.
SPEAKER_01Look it up. Look it up. Look it up, look it up.
SPEAKER_03Just did you touch my bum? That's what they say in the video. Cheeky monkey. Really? Yeah. That's like the the guy. Holly Culkin, SNL.
SPEAKER_02That guy from Roxbury Nights, right? Night at the Roxbury.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02That he said, you touch my bum?
SPEAKER_03You touch my butt? Oh no, that a bit different thing. Yeah, yeah, but well. Yes. Oh shit. This is this is when SNL was still funny. Still funny, it's not funny no more. I mean, it has its moments every now and then, but it's not consistent. My collie Cokins is a little kid there. Yeah. This is like right after he did Home Alone.
SPEAKER_02Sometimes my daddy pays for his mama. I'm a cowboy. That's right. Bum lookers. Oh shit. And you're saying this is when SNL was funny?
SPEAKER_03Yeah. This was like dude, this was like Adam Sandler, Chris Farley, Chris Rock, David Spade. The boys were on.
SPEAKER_02John Foley's my guy. Remember, I told you about doing Tommy Boy or The Black Sheep or something like that.
SPEAKER_03Beverly Hills Ninja.
SPEAKER_02Beverly Hills Ninja. Right?
SPEAKER_03You like Chris Farley?
SPEAKER_02I like Chris Farley, yeah. I like Chris Farley.
SPEAKER_03Tommy Boy is a classic.
SPEAKER_02And so is Beverly Hills Ninja.
SPEAKER_03You ever see um Black Sheep? Yeah, seen Black Sheep. Black Sheep was a good one.
SPEAKER_02Black Sheep was a good one. Tommy Boy. I like the butter, but Black Sheep was alright.
SPEAKER_03David Spade has the acting ability of my left testicle.
SPEAKER_02Well, that's like the guy where from The Master of Disguises, remember that he was like turtle turtle? Dana Carter Turtle. That fucking turtle guy. Dana Carro. That fucking scene haunted me for a long period of my time.
SPEAKER_01You wanna see it? He put a yak. Turtle turtle. I can't breathe.
SPEAKER_03Masters of disguise. Oh, you know you're you know what you're in for with this guy.
SPEAKER_01Oh shit. I'm fire turtle. Oh shit. Oh man.
SPEAKER_02Oh man. Turtle turtle. What the fuck?
SPEAKER_03Oh my god, I've never seen this.
SPEAKER_01Yo he bit his nose off.
SPEAKER_03Oh yeah. Oh my god, damn.
SPEAKER_02Dude, that scene is one of the funniest. That was fucking great. Bro, and I can see that shit over and over again and laugh the same fucking way all the time. Oh man. Master of the skies is.
SPEAKER_03Oh, that's fucking top notch. So, Carlo. Yes, you know what we do on the dropbox? We rate movies on a scale of one to ten using the decimal system. Really? Really? How would you rate Austin Powers and Goldmember on a scale of zero to ten? From zero to ten, mine. I'd give it an eleven.
SPEAKER_02You give it an eleven? Fuck it.
SPEAKER_03I'd go higher. I'd give it a 20.
SPEAKER_02You liked it that much?
SPEAKER_03Dude, this movie should have won the Oscar for Best Picture.
SPEAKER_02How are you fucking with me now? Dude, dude, that I like it as much as an eight. That's why I've watched it so much.
SPEAKER_03If I had to be honest, I'd give it maybe a 6.75.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah. Realistically, it's like a five.
SPEAKER_03It it's really funny.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, but it's funny, yeah. There's something to take out of balls with a couple joints. Oh yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03For sure, sure.
SPEAKER_02You know.
SPEAKER_03All of her bra outfits. Yes, uh. Shit's crazy. All right, Carlo. Thank you so much for coming on and thank you for being my host, man. You betcha, pal. We'd love to have you on again. We'll make it happen again sometime, brother. Alright, until next time on the drop box. Peace out, everybody. Dropbox.