My Chakra Healing Experience

I wanted to share with you guys why I was gone for a few weeks. 

As I continue to walk through life trying to rediscover myself and heal myself from past traumas, I want to share my experience with Chakra Healing therapy that I had a few weeks ago. It was a beautiful yet sad experience. Reopening cuts that I thought I had healed myself but really just put them in the back burner. Healing is a very roller coaster journey, and it’s ok to feel all the emotions. As long as you find a way out. Enjoy listening to my experience and I hope it encourages you to start your process. 

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:01

Hi, free spirits. Welcome to another episode of Life Walking Journey and to all my new free spirits. Hi guys, welcome. How's everyone doing? I do want to apologize, guys, that I randomly out of the blue disappeared on you guys. I just feel like I needed some time to myself. I needed to uh process some things uh that I recently went through. Um, but in this episode, guys, I did want to talk about healing. I know that this whole podcast has been about that, uh, about letting go and making changes, and honestly, just forgiving yourself, uh, you know, for going through things in life. But I wanted to share an experience that I recently did with you guys, uh, about I want to say three Sundays ago, three or four, I believe. Um, no, it was three weeks ago. Uh I did this Reiki healing therapy, which is, you know, it's a chakra uh alignment. And I wanted to share the experience with you guys. You know, I'm a very uh spiritual person, as you guys all may know. Um, I like to experience different things of spirituality. And um my best friend Ilalia actually recommended this to me like I want to say like two years ago, and uh she shared with me her experience of uh you know how she felt and you know how healed she felt right after. And she kept telling me you should do it, you should do it. And every time I would talk on the phone, she would always bring it up. But somehow I just you know paid no mind to it. I was like, eh, whatever. Went through life dealing with bullshit per usual through my ups and downs, and you know, obviously having to go through healing uh in the last eight months to now, uh, still learning myself, you know, and uh about myself and then you me because obviously a lot of the things about myself from the past don't identify with me now. So I'm I'm trying to rediscover myself while you know trying to survive still in life in this crazy ass world that we live in. Um finally one day, you know, I woke up and I was just like, maybe it's time, maybe it's time for me to go try this, you know, chakra healing therapy. And one day I just hit her up and I told her, I'm like, what's that lady's number? Let me just, you know, let me let me book the appointment now because if I don't do it, I will never you know commit to it. So I ended up making the appointment. Uh went to this therapy session, and it was the most uh how can I say saddest but yet beautiful experience that I've ever encountered in my life. Excuse me. I the instant that I got there, obviously the door was locked. Was it locked? Actually, no, it wasn't locked. Uh, I walked in and it was empty, and I just heard, hi Sergio, from like afar, and I was just like, Whoa, I was like, who's you know, who's talking? And next thing you know, some lady comes out, super friendly lady, super sweet, super nice. I will recommend her, guys, too, for you guys to try her. She is in downtown Pomona. Most beautiful spirit greeted me like you know, like we knew each other, and I I don't know, I had this sense of why do I know you? And then I think in that moment when I thought that she sensed what I was thinking because when I when I thought that question to myself, I was just like, Why do I feel like I know her? And I was walking behind her, she was just like, I know you feel weird. She goes, but we've met before. And I was just like, What? I was a I was a bit confused, and she was like, We've met before in in your past life, and I was just like, Oh, I was just like, Interesting, and um, you know, the instant that I got there before we went into this this healing room, she cleanses you with, you know, with some herb, I want to say it was sage or or an essence, an essence, actually, and she's saying some stuff, and the whole time she's like um cleaning me, she's just like coughing and like touching her throat, and then she was just like, You have a lot of communication issues, and I stood quiet and I was like, Yeah, I I do, you know, and in that sense, I feel like I've always had communication issues because I was always silenced all my life by family, by you know, wannabe friends, uh, exes, you know, ex-partners, whatever. That I feel like the moment that I always wanted to speak up, I was always silenced. Oh, I wasn't, you know, I wasn't allowed to have an opinion. So I felt like growing up that that was an issue with myself, even now, you know, up to now I'm learning to communicate and express my feelings. But I I I do struggle with communication for that reason because obviously I carried trauma from the past uh that I thought, you know, that I already healed and you know moved on from. But apparently, you know, I was still carrying them, you know, to this day. And I'm learning, you know, now I'm getting more comfortable with speaking up, but being respectful and not hurting no one's feelings. So, you know, we went, she went out with the cleaning, and and then you know, we went into the room, we sat down on the floor, and the whole time, you know, she's explaining to me like this is what I want to tell you guys. So a lot of people confuse it for brujeria. It's not brujeria, it's a healer. There's a difference. This is white witch, and then there's a obviously black witch. Uh, I went to a white witch, which is a healer. They don't do any type of magic work or anything on people. Basically, all they do is they tell you about you to uh basically give you the tools so you can make the changes. So they're basically all they're doing is telling you about yourself. So she brought out a deck, and obviously, she was just choosing random cards, and she she, you know, she went off. She went off um telling me stuff about me that I was just like, god damn, she like she's on point. You know, she started, you know, speaking of a relative of mine that passed away years ago, and obviously she was talking about my my godfather, my Nino, and she told me, you know, he was he's in the room with you. Um, he, you know, he's always watching over you, and and it made me kind of emotional in the moment. I was just like, oh damn, I'll just like this is this is beautiful, you know, for her to know this information, and I didn't had it, I didn't even have to give her any information. And then she obviously started talking about myself, me having communication issues. Obviously, she brought back to when I was a childhood, you know, certain incidents. Like, she was actually on point bringing up um scenario scenarios of things that have happened to me as a kid, and I just would say yes or no. And it just tripped me the fuck out, to be honest with you. You know, we talked, we prayed. Um, basically, what she was doing is just reassuring before I laid down that you know that I know that I was safe and that I that I was loved. She kept telling me that throughout the whole thing. She's like, I love you, I love you. She also happened to mention during a reading that obviously her and I have been together before in past lives that I have come to her for help. I I was just like, I was blown, guys. Like it was it was crazy. I would my mind was blown, and then she started telling me that she can see all the versions of me in my past life, all my reincarnations up to today's. Yeah, and I'm hoping that I get some clarity from that because I do pay for that every single day. But that my purpose as a my sole purpose has come to an end, and I'm gonna basically you know be here to fulfill what I came here for, and then I wasn't weren't going to reincarnate anymore, and that was the reason why I'm not having a family, and I've always been desperate to have a family, and you know, she was just like, you know, you it's time for you to close all these entire chapters of you and and you know move on to the next to the next thing, which kind of confirmed, guys. Uh, that it's funny because I've been very vocal about this for the last couple years. How I always say, like, I feel like I need to get things right now, like I need to get things right in this lifetime. Like, I don't know before before meeting this lady. I just like I need to get it right. I can't be this way, I can't be that way, I need to be forgiving, I need to, you know, not hold any grudges with anybody. Uh forgive, forgive, and just love, love, and and just let things go and not get frustrated. And it's just it was crazy how I've been feeling that, and she confirmed that that I that I needed to get things together in this lifetime. And then she also gave me some information, you know, about me uh being the reason why my bloodline would heal. I don't know how, but she did tell me, you know, your your family, which is what you pay for all the time, you know, you're gonna be the one to heal them by watching you heal and you succeeding and you moving up in life, they're just gonna follow. And that made me really happy, guys. It made me it made me really, really happy inside because I have always worried about my my family. Uh, I remember in the past, I feel like in the past, in my 20s, if I wasn't the way I was, I feel like I would be so much way not better, I guess, but I would be in a different life style than I am now. I would be more ahead of you know what I want to be, but I was too stuck in whatever drama or whatever was going on with my family. You know, my brothers always getting into some trouble, my mom was having trouble with my brothers, and I was constantly worried, always getting involved in their and you know, their problems, and I was too focused on on letting my family fall apart that I lost myself throughout the years, you know, and I doubted so much of that for so many years. Finally, when I I started leaving my ex about six years ago is when I started, you know, learning about myself, when I was finally by myself, my strengths, what I'm capable of. Uh I got closer to God, and uh my biggest fear came true. I all bonds that I had with my family were broken due to some problems. Um obviously I wasn't allowed to be around my family because of a certain situation, and and whether they believe me or not, I was very, very broken when this happened because my family was everything I knew like all my life. Like I was just like, you know, always them, you know, holidays, birthdays, events, uh whatever it is you guys want to say. I was always there with my family, and to have to step back and and and just watch them live life without me, and they felt like they were okay with it. I I I I was shattered, and I and I constantly bring this up to my parents, and then they just brush it off, like you're just being sensitive. But I'm just like, no, like this is exactly why I pulled away from my family, because they don't acknowledge that, you know, that feeling that that like I'm so sorry, like we made you feel this way. Um but that was the hardest time of my life. Like, I going no contact with them or being told, like, oh, don't come over because of this, and it's just it was it was it was sad for me. And at the same time, you know, obviously I was going through my breakup, uh, being at my place at a place by myself. Um it was just very lonely, it was very quiet. Uh, a lot of my days I just spent them in my apartment crying, uh, trying to figure out what the fuck was going on with my life. Why is it that I lost everything? Like I had lost, you know, the partner, the you know, my family, and you know, I didn't have much friends at the time, and it just I life just felt very lonely. And then I got I started you know overworking myself so I wouldn't feel anything, and I also caught on to the fact that I was enjoying that feeling just because I didn't want to feel it. You know, um being not invited to certain things and just watching on social media, like it just it hurts so much. But I've mentioned this before, and I'm gonna mention it again. I am so thankful for those moments because it made me stronger, it made me a whole different person, it made me who I am today. I learned a lot about myself around that time where you know I was at my lowest, and somehow I still woke up every single day, made the best out of it, and still go out with my friends and be happy. But that's a whole nother story, guys. But uh back to my healing therapy. Uh see, guys, I always get off track. Stop distracting me, guys. Stop distracting me. Just kidding. But um, you know, it's just little things that she was just mentioning during the therapy that I was just blown away, and I was just like, okay, like okay, let's let's give me the tools. She taught me certain things about me that I I need to work on, which I agree on. That's one thing that I learned about myself in the last few years is learning to accept that I'm not perfect. Not saying that I that I claim to be perfect, but I was always scared to to admit it, like be vocal about it. But she did tell me, she goes, You've mastered a lot of things in life. The only thing you haven't mastered is your emotions. I guess I tend to think things a little personal sometimes, and and I back away from people, which I do, you know. I be when I'm passionate about something and and and I know that I'm being for real and it's coming from the bottom of my heart, like I tend to think things take really tend to I'm I'm so sorry guys. I tend to take things a little personal. Um, and I'm we're I'm getting better at that now. I'm getting better at not taking things when people are reacting or saying mean things to me. And before I just to snap back and be like, no bitch, like don't talk to me that way. Like, who the fuck do you think you are? But I've learned over the last few uh few months that not every response needs a response, not every response need my needs my damn energy, and and I just much rather walk away or not even say anything if I have nothing nice to say. But definitely, you know, I agree with her with the emotions. Um, you know, she did tell me once I do master that, which I'm hoping it's soon, because I I strive to work on this every single day, is that I will move on to the next level of life. You know, she did mention that you know, just how heaven is different levels. Um is here on earth, but you know, obviously, society is very stuck in everything that's going on in this world, like you know, social media, your phones, TV, uh, drugs, sex, uh, whatever you want to call it, any distraction that we have here on earth. Like, I feel like we were we're supposed to be here with none of that, and just with nature, human, and animals, and that's it. Like, just you know, I feel like if it was just that, we would be amazing. I think we would all have natural superpowers, but I mean that's only a myth of mine. But um, it's it's crazy how how how all this works. So finally, you know, we we she has me lay down on the floor, turns off all the lights, uh, turn uh turns on you know spiritual sounds, and she has me like just breathing, doing break breathing techniques, uh, tells me to get in a position where I would feel comfortable like if I was falling asleep. And I'll just like, well, you know, I sleep on my side, so kind of on my side. Just kidding. The only reason why I didn't want to be with my back is because I have back issues, guys. When I got on my accident fusible, I my back's not the same anymore. I can't drop it low. Uh, but I laid there, you know, kind of on you know, on my side, but still on my back. And I was like, okay, I'm ready. You know, I had my eyes closed, she's talking to me, you know, saying sweet things to me. She was like, Oh, you know, you just know that I love you, and you know, we're gonna heal you. Uh, we're gonna make sure you you, you know, you get the right tools, and she's just placing crystals all over me, uh, throughout the center of my body, on the sides, and then um, she gets those crystal bowls that you know they make those sounds. And I kid you not, guys. I didn't even take any, I didn't even smoke weed. Okay, you know, guys, go ahead and smoke weed, mind your business. But um, when she hit that first freaking bowl, guys, I don't know what she did to me. That I just went it was like I was out, like asleep. I couldn't move. And then she starts talking, she starts talking, and then I can hear her, and I'm and then in my head, I'm just like, Why can I move? She asked me a question, and I felt like I was shaking my head, but I know I wasn't. Um, she did tell me out loud, she goes, You're gonna be in a deep sleep, but you can still hear me. And I'll just like damn, like this is I don't know, girl. I don't know. This is a deep sleep. This is a fucking coma. Like, if it was so deep that I couldn't even move out that I started like feeling like I needed to panic, and she just kept telling me, like, breathe, just breathe. So I started breathing a little bit, and then basically what she did was we're gonna go back to three years of your age, you know, from when you were born to now, that really impacted your life, you know, to who you the person you are, but to the moment that you started healing. And I was like, Okay, so she took me back to when I was eight years old. When she said to when she said the eight years old, it was like they turned on a TV, or if I had just opened my eyes and I was seeing someone in front of me, and I actually saw eight-year-old little Sergio, and I was blown away, and I I kid you not, like it felt like I just had my eyes open and I was just looking straight at him. And I looked very upset, like if I was depressed, if like if I was sad, and then um she did tell me, she goes, You see little nine-year-old, I'm sorry, eight-year-old you, right? And then I just hummed like uh-huh. And then she goes, Okay, she goes, he looks very upset. How about you go up to him and you hug him and you tell him it's not your fault? The moment she said that, I I started crying hysterically, like very, very hysterically. And I was shaking, and she was just like, just hug him and tell him it's not his fault. And I just remember hearing myself telling eight-year-old me like it wasn't your fault. What that means, guys, is that was the first time I was molested as a kid. Um and it's crazy because that outfit that I was wearing in that vision, guys. I remember that damn outfit. I remember that outfit like it was yesterday, and it was just tripping me the fuck out. And then she started moving the bowls and I can hear the bowl, you know, her making the sound, and then she I don't know what she banged that it just went. And then she jumped to 11-year-old me. I can see 11-year-old me. Um same thing, she told me to go up to him and tell him you're okay, you are safe, it wasn't your fault. I was also molested around that age by someone very, very, very close to us. Um and I remember around the time it was like the most darkest times of my life. A lot of suicidal thoughts always crossed my my mind as a as a kid. Like for being a kid, like those thoughts should have not been going through my mind, but they they did. After that, we jumped into 15 year old me. No, I'm sorry, 16, 16, if I'm not mistaken. I think it was 16. Um yes, it was 16. Um, because she also brought up when I was um Sorry, mom, if you're listening to this, I know I never told you this. I was roofied at a party. You know, I thought it was grown, and I, you know, asked my mom to go hang out with my friend. I'm not gonna say her name. Uh to her house to watch a movie, quote unquote. And um, in reality, we were gonna sneak out and go party. So we went to a party, and you know, obviously everybody's just having a great time. People are smoking weed, you know, people are drinking alcohol. Obviously, I was underage, so I wasn't really doing much. Finally, you know, somebody comes and offers me a drink, and um, you know, I didn't think much of it, and I was just like, I don't drink, I've never drank it in my life. And I remember I drank that first beer and I felt fine. Then they gave me a mixed drink, and that's the last thing I remember. I don't remember leaving the place. I remember waking up in a room and it was pitch black. I can see the shadow of a man, a bald man. Um, when I was getting conscience, uh he was obviously you know making out. He was behind me, he was making out with my neck, trying to pull off my clothes, and I was just like, No, no, no. I was like, I can't, I need to go home, and then he was just like, Oh, I'll take you back to the party right now. And I was just like, What the fuck is going on? Blacked out again. You know, next thing I know when I'm getting conscious again, uh he's on top of me, and we're both fully naked. Um I remember begging him that I didn't want to. I remember telling him I was in pain and I just I wanted to go home and he wouldn't he wouldn't let me go. But I was so drugged that I I couldn't even fight back. Like that's the scary part. And um blacked out again, and next you know, the next day I wake up and I'm in my friend's house again, and there's a guy on the floor by the sofa, my friend's on the sofa, and then I'm in the floor on the other side of the sofa. And I just remember waking up and I had the nastiest headache ever. Um, and I was just like, What happened last night? And she was just like, Oh, nothing, like you were here, you you know, you fell asleep, and then I was just like, No, like this is no, like I was just like, Well, I dreamy, like I didn't even, you know, I only had two drinks, and in my head, I was just like, Damn, is this what alcohol does to you? Um, next thing you know, like I get up and I go use the restroom, and sure enough, you know, I I I I sat down and you know, you know, you know when you know when when you have sex, obviously. I was just like, oh no, like it is real. Like I sat there and I used the restroom, and obviously what came out was you know immense. See, man, and I was just like, so I wasn't dreaming, it's it's real. So I kept asking her, like, I woke her up, I was like, what happened? Like, did I leave the the house? I was like, where was I? Like she was like, No, you were here the whole time. And I was just like, No, it's just like I was in this room, I had this and this and this and that. I was like, I was in a car. I remember in the moment, I was like, I was I was in a car, and then I woke up at someone's house, and then I'm back here. He's like, Well, you went to the store really quick with I'm not even gonna mention his name, and I was just like, Oh shit, this motherfucker roofied me and used to excuse of going to the store because he knew you know how fast I was gonna work, and that's when I lost conscience when I got in the car. Um, I left the place, and you know, it it it it it stayed with me for many many years. So during the healing, that's who she was telling me about about those traumas that I went through, you know, obviously recapping, you know, who I am as a person, as a soul. And the whole time I just as she was you know hovering over me with her hands, and I don't know what she's doing, humming or talking, I don't know. Uh basically what she's doing is she's realigning your chakras. Because if you guys don't know, we are aligned of chakras from her head all the way to her, you know, the bottom of her feet. And she was telling me like, I'm gonna realign it. Hopefully, you know, you know, life gets back on track for you. And you know, she's mentioning other things, you know, they're a little personal. And the whole time I was crying, and you know, she was touching me, she could tell me it's like you're our loved, remember you're our loved, and it was just a beautiful experience. It was sad at first, you know. Some some obviously some stuff was you know a little painful to recap or reopen. And I don't think I have thought about what happened to me as an eight-year-old for a very long time. So, reopening that woman, knowing that because of that scenario, you know, it kind of shaped of how I handled and how I maneuvered through life sometimes. Um, but it was definitely an experience, guys. Um, I will do it again. I will do it again. Uh, this time I want to do it with indigenous medicine. That's one thing I want to try so bad. Uh, she did tell me that you know, if when I was ready, I can do that one. And I'm I'm thinking of going back and doing it. Like it just it's very, very beautiful. Like I kid you and I guess before I started seeing all this vision. So when she was praying over me or whatever she was doing, um, I was just seeing colors, like the most beautiful bright colors. Like literally our chakras are you know, blue, red, pink, yellow, green, uh, other colors of the rainbow. And I kept seeing those dots of each color just like floating around everywhere. And obviously, they were not aligned, they were just everywhere. So I was just like, damn, like if that's you know, they're supposed to be in a straight line, then my fucking life's a hot mess. And um, they were just moving everywhere, and then you know, after a while you got stopped that it's that stopped, and when she was doing the you know the sounds with the bulls, um I can see the waves of the sound, I can hear the waves when she talks sometimes. I kept seeing visions of people, but I couldn't pinpoint who it was. I can see the shadow, but I can't see who it was. Um, one particular uh shadow kind of resembled my Nino, so I was just like, No, like I don't want to be with that illusion that you know that was him. But it was definitely an experience, guys. Um, after we finished, you know, we hugged. Uh, she could tell me I love you. She's like, like, you know, like she was a mom, and I felt so comfortable, guys, so comforting, so much love in that room. Even when I was in that deep sleep, I felt so much peace and love. Like, it was so overwhelming of how much love and peace I felt, even just listening to her talk, it was the most beautiful thing. Um, so if you guys are in the journey of healing, I I would recommend it, guys. Like, honestly, I would recommend it. It's it's it's a beautiful experience, it's nothing bad, it's nothing demonic. That's what people you know try to title it sometimes. And I feel like those that say that are though are the demonic ones, and they are the demons because obviously it bothers them. Um, but yeah, it was beautiful, it was very, very, very beautiful. You know, this is the road to healing, you know, and I've always been the type of person to be open-minded and try things. Um, and you know, she did mention that I was gonna go through these wave of emotions for the like the next 21 days while you know while I was healing. And I kid you guys not like the next day, guys. I was just crying every fucking second I could in my car before going to work and my lunch break and my breaks, like by myself, and it just you know, and it just felt like it wasn't a sad, it wasn't a cry of sadness, it was a cry of I don't know, like relief. Like, I don't know, like guys, I can't express it. I can't, I mean I'm sorry, I can't explain it. Like it was just I don't know. And then I had a moment, you know, a day where I just felt very sad, and then you know, they that I did have a day, uh guys, that I wasn't that I did snap, I'm not gonna lie. Um, but it was it's part of the emotions, you know. She did tell me it's gonna, you know, one day you're gonna be mad, one day you're gonna be sad, one day you're gonna be, you know, motivated, one day you're not. But if that's gonna be, you know, the next 21 days, and after that, you know, you're gonna start feeling the change. But I mean, I automatically started feeling the change soon right after, like the next day. And have like I mentioned before, you know, I wasn't really emotional in the last three years. I couldn't find myself crying. You know, I had my moments where, like, you know, obviously my you know, I might not, you know, you feel my nod in my throat, and the tears start running a little bit, but never to like the extremes where I cry hysterically. That has always been my go-to to heal myself in life, growing up up to you know, three years ago. Uh and feeling myself cry again like that, like a little kid, felt really, really good. I forgot how that felt. Like it was three years of me not being able to cry. Like it was just it was just something that I I wasn't used to because I was so used to, you know, feeling my emotions. Um, but for some reason, you know, obviously it got turned off. I feel like it was just for my protection for whatever I was going to deal with in the next three years. And sure enough, you know, the last three years have been crazy, crazy but manageable, you know, and I'm thankful that those experiences did happen because it uh it's taught me a lot about myself. It's taught a lot about it's taught me a lot about being strong, being thick skinned, uh being more commutative, uh being more understanding, more loving, more forgiving. It's just it's it's taught me a lot. And I'm thankful for every experience. I don't ever like to try to think to myself like, oh pobrecito, le pasó esto. Like I never want to be that type of person. Like it's just it's an experience. That's what life is. We're all here to experience things, and it just depends on us how we want to handle things, guys. Um, and a lot of people we go through we go through rough times, and we automatically want to shut down and not you know face the problem or the issue. We run away from it. We go party, we go drink, we go do drugs, we go have sex with random people. Like, we we like we run away from our problems. That's just our in our nature as a human. We run away from our problems, and having to learn to face them and not run away from it, guys, have been the best thing that has ever happened to me. Um, because I was always afraid, and now like I'm not like I'm not afraid to run away from my problems. You know, one thing I did mention. Um for some for about for most of you, some of my listeners that follow me on social media know that back in the days I used to post a lot about myself, especially when I lost weight. I used to post a lot of pictures of myself, and I stopped out of nowhere. I don't know if it's because I was dealing with life or or maybe it was the trauma that I was carrying from when I was a kid, but for almost two years, guys, I wouldn't look at myself in the mirror. I don't know why. When I stopped feeling my emotions, I never wanted to look in the mirror because when I saw when I would see myself in the mirror sometimes, I felt like I saw a pathetic person. I felt like I saw someone that was weak. I felt like I looked ugly. Like, I don't know, like it was I can't express it, guys. I just couldn't look at myself, I couldn't look at myself. Obviously, I would look at myself only to do my uh hair, but I wouldn't look like my eyes, so I wouldn't look around, I'll just be looking at my hair. And and yes, guys, I actually did that uh for like about two years, like I just didn't like looking at my body, I didn't like nothing, nothing. I would just wouldn't look at and after that healing therapy, guys. I kid you not like I came straight home and I was just like, let me shower uh to get out this whole day off of me because that's what I like to do when I come home for work and stuff like that. I like to shower and to get the negativity off of me. So I came home and you know, obviously took off my clothes in the shower to get into the bathtub, and I looked at the mirror, and for the first time, I looked in the mirror, guys. I looked straight into my eyes, to my face in the mirror, and I smiled and I just told myself, You're beautiful, and I felt so happy telling myself that like a damn nerd, guys. I I felt it felt so good. I blushed, I was just like, Yeah, you look good, you know, even though you know my gordito now, but it's okay. Something to keep you guys warm at night. Just kidding, but um, yeah, for the first time in in a couple years, guys, I was just like, Wow, you're you're handsome, like you're beautiful, like smile, like I felt so good, and I remember being in the shower and I got so emotional, and I was just laughing in there, I was smiling, and I was just like, damn.

SPEAKER_00 35:39

I have not been able to tell myself anything nice in so long. Like, it's just I've been so caught up with the world, with everything that was going around me that I forgot about taking care of myself, and you know, I I like the fact that I'm emotional now again. Sorry, sorry guys, but I'm glad that I I got in tune again with my feelings because I missed that part of me.

SPEAKER_01 36:04

Because me crying, I don't know if it's a cancer thing or just a me thing, but crying has always helped me heal myself and just like go whatever the heck I was dealing with, you know, in life or at that time or in during the day, like crying would just help me heal, it would hibernate me.

SPEAKER_00 36:29

So having to not feel that for for two years, guys, like it was it was frustrating, and I couldn't find myself not even going to a funeral or anything, like it just I was like, okay, like where's the tears at?

SPEAKER_01 36:46

But definitely I have been really emotional and now that you know when things happen since that therapy, like I do tend to sorry, I do tend to um cry now and and and I laugh every time I cry and I always say thank you to God.

SPEAKER_00 37:04

I was I just say thank you. I'm just like oh my god, I never thought I never thought I would see that side of me again. I thought I I honestly thought I was gonna become those people like that were very cold-hearted, that are cold-hearted, and and you know, ex can express any emotions. And I was just like, damn, I never wanted to be that in life regardless of what the fuck I was going through.

SPEAKER_01 37:27

And sorry guys, I have mocos. Um I just I was scared that I was gonna become that cold-hearted person, but thank you God. Like I I didn't become that I did temporarily, but not for a long time. But it was it's been it's it's been life has been in the last few weeks. That is the reason why I wasn't around, guys. You know, I did that therapy, and I was like, you know what? I don't want to feel pressured to talk, I don't want to feel pressured for nothing, not even for the podcast. And you know, I even canceled the wool when you know another broadcaster that I was gonna go into his studio and record, which I'm hoping that we can reschedule that. But I was just like, no, like I owe I you know I owe this time to myself. Like I wanted to just feel every emotion in those 21 days, and and and and I feel ashamed by nothing or no one. So I was just like, I'm not gonna do the podcast for a couple weeks, maybe three, you know, let things you know fly by after this healing. I just want to focus on myself, you know, late around the house a lot, watch movies, you know. I actually went out a lot and you know, have been out and about with family. And life just been feeling really beautiful after this session of of of uh you know Reiki healing, and I would I would I would do it again. I want to do it again. Like I said, I want to do the indigenous medicine one, which I heard that was pretty crazy. Like they actually have you get in tune with your spirit. Um, because I don't know if you guys know we have a soul and we have a spirit, but I wanna try it because I'm gonna trip out because if this girl don't help me, I am about to go buy me some mushrooms, guys, and I'm about to go do it in nature somewhere by my goddamn self. But you know, I definitely missed you guys so much in the last few weeks. Um, I kept thinking about you guys a lot. All of you guys, it's 1111. Make a wish. Amen. Okay, sorry guys. Um, but yeah, I I I missed you guys so much. I I kept thinking about you guys the entire time. I kept uh thinking of new things to you know to talk about. Obviously, a lot of things have happened, you know. Rescheduled this podcast with uh with my friend so we can actually get that on and going on YouTube and then on my page because you know guys it's nothing but going up now, you know. Now now that I'm healing, I feel like a lot of change has been happening in my life, guys. A lot. Um, and I'm just rolling with the punches, I'm just rolling it with life. Um it's just life life, it's been crazy, like I said. Uh, but I'm ready to get back in there, I'm ready to go, you know, all full throttle. I'm ready to go all in again and close this season pretty soon and you know, start getting ready for the next one. I'm really praying to God and next you know, season we're able to do bigger and more because obviously, guys, we keep growing and and growing and growing, and I'm just very thankful to God that you know, I don't know how we got to this point that you know we're constantly just getting played in different countries now, and you know, we're getting played now, like the new countries that we're getting played is Canada, Brazil, United, United Kingdom, Italy, you know, South Africa, Chile, like it's all these amazing countries that I would never thought in my life my podcast would ever be played at. I just thought it was gonna be local here, but you know, it's getting played all over the United States. Uh, that is about 294 percent of my listeners of the United States, and then obviously everything's all spread out through all the continents. Uh, but we're officially, you know, now getting played in 14 countries, guys. 14. Oh my god, United States, Singapore, Spain, Vietnam, uh, Germany, uh, Finland, Canada. Uh, can pronounce this one? Luthenian, Lithuania, Brazil, uh, United Kingdom, Italy, South Africa, Chile, and the Philippines. Again, guys, thank you so so much from the bottom of my heart for being here listening to my life, you know, walking through this healing journey with me. And I'm hoping that a lot of you guys listeners are also healing and making changes in your life because that's what we're supposed to be doing here in this world, guys, helping each other. And I feel like it's my calling. I don't know why, but I'm just rolling with the punches, like I said. God knows who, but I'm leaving it in God's hands. Thank you guys so so much, and to all my listeners, guys. I hope you guys come back. I love you.