Morbid Mondays - Episode 35 - The Erfurt Latrine Disaster

Trigger Warnings: Gross stuff, death, literal feces

Today Katy tells Brian about the funniest, and grossest, thing to ever happen in a land dispute. Welcome to Erfurt, Germany, HRE! The party is upstairs, head on up.

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Transcript

unknown 0:00

Right.

SPEAKER_02 0:00

There we go. We're on. We're live.

SPEAKER_00 0:02

And now, coming to you live from Yonkers. Greetings.

SPEAKER_02 0:10

Hello.

SPEAKER_00 0:11

Welcome or welcome back to Morbid Mondays, your unhinged source for What the Fuck Moments Throughout History, where we will take turns giving you a weekly tour through all of the gross, gory, and downright moments in history. We're your hosts. I'm Katie.

SPEAKER_01 0:29

And I'm Vlyan. I was like, I didn't see that coming back.

SPEAKER_00 0:36

Okay. All right. Let's get the fuck into this because this episode is in fact a lot of.

SPEAKER_02 0:43

So trigger warnings?

SPEAKER_00 0:45

Trigger warnings are um unsafe buildings, um, literal shit.

unknown 0:52

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 0:53

Nobility. Um really, really, really petty feuds. Uh that's the I'm not gonna go into a whole lot of details, so like I feel like I don't need a whole lot of trigger warnings, but this episode's gross.

SPEAKER_02 1:08

Nice.

SPEAKER_00 1:09

So welcome, dear listeners. Can you tell I watch Bridgerton again? Um to the Erfurt Latrine disaster.

SPEAKER_02 1:19

The what?

SPEAKER_00 1:21

Erfurt? Erfurt. It's a place in Germany, apparently.

SPEAKER_02 1:24

Erfurt, latrine Erfurt sounds like something you do in a latrine.

SPEAKER_00 1:32

So the story came to me courtesy of my partner, who was in Oklahoma at the time, helping his company bail out of an extreme IT crisis, and I get a random message in the middle of the goddamn day. Like I'm mopping. And it just it just says Erford, it what was it? No, it didn't, you didn't even say Erford. It said latrine disaster, 1184.

SPEAKER_02 1:57

From Oklahoma. Makes perfect sense.

SPEAKER_00 2:00

What? I text it. No, you're good. You're good. You're good. This this episode's gonna be kind of short, so like once again, feel free to rip. Uh, because it struck me so sideways at the time. I've babe, what? Huh? Just look it up. All right. So it did, and I put a pin in, and I was like, oh, absolutely, this is a morbid Monday episode. Yes. And then I probably forgot about it for like a week and a half and some change. Until I realized literally yesterday, oh shit. It's my turn to present on Monday. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. What am I gonna do? Wait a minute. I have this one on bat on the back burner. So I immediately start researching. I grounded myself to my desk. I didn't, I wasn't allowed to have my phone. That didn't last very long.

SPEAKER_02 2:51

Turns out you need it for things. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:53

Who knew? Uh my mom's like having part of her roof renone. It's it was it was weird. So I start digging. Because when you type in Latrine Disaster 1184.

SPEAKER_02 3:06

1184? Uh-huh. The year.

SPEAKER_00 3:08

Yes. 12th century.

SPEAKER_02 3:10

Holy shit.

SPEAKER_00 3:11

This was a long time ago. There is, in fact, only one entry that pops up. And it is, in fact, this. And I didn't know. I had no earthly idea about anything about this. No clue. I knew nothing. I walked into this blind AF with the exception of like context and definitional clues.

SPEAKER_02 3:34

We gotcha.

SPEAKER_00 3:36

I'm going to let that stand from just the very like name of the subject itself, latrine disaster. Oh dear. Someone's privy broke. What happened? Oh boy. So, okay. Germany as we know it didn't become Germany as we know it until I'm going to say relatively recently in history.

SPEAKER_02 3:57

Super recent. Yeah. Like 1900s.

SPEAKER_00 3:59

Yeah. So Germany used to be a various like collection. Because city-state's not the word, but like like country states.

SPEAKER_02 4:10

Yeah, a lot of people refer to them as the free principalities or free states.

SPEAKER_00 4:14

There we go. That's so much better. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:16

At this time, Franckish.

SPEAKER_00 4:18

Yes. Right. Because there's a very big portion of it.

SPEAKER_02 4:21

And then you have so the uh Merovingian dynasty.

SPEAKER_00 4:26

And a whole bunch of names that I cannot say.

SPEAKER_02 4:29

Yeah, for real.

SPEAKER_00 4:31

And like, like, forget I got hung up on the Tharangis at one point because I was like, huh?

SPEAKER_02 4:36

You're from Star Trek, right? Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 4:39

Thank you. Because like I heard it. I was listening to a podcast about it, because you know, you gotta do chores.

SPEAKER_02 4:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:46

And he and he said the Ferangis, and I was like, the who?

SPEAKER_02 4:49

The uh the the bodyguards. No, no, that's Varangian. Um, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:54

There's a whole lot of like exposition that goes into this and that that that would literally take us hours. So I cut most of that out because there is so much. I listened, I listened and took notes for so much extra stuff, just trying to understand what was going into this, and then I decided, you know what? Throw it all away. We're gonna focus on the event itself with like a little bit of backstory. And I and I know I know that some of you really are interested in like the the setting for the story itself, but there was so much. You don't understand there was so much.

SPEAKER_02 5:31

There's not a lot of stability in in like medieval dark ages, the literal dark ages, right?

SPEAKER_00 5:38

The 12th century. Yeah. 12th. Uh so yeah. I'm I'm I'm going to I'm going to read you how I summed it all up to myself. So Germany isn't Germany as we know it yet. There's this weird schism where the monarchy thinks it's in charge and the church thinks it's in charge of the monarchy, and nobody's really sure what's going on. The left doesn't know what the right's doing, and oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 6:03

We are for a little while in the period of there's a Christian king that has like four wives.

SPEAKER_00 6:08

It was so weird.

SPEAKER_02 6:10

It was weird.

SPEAKER_00 6:11

And like the Holy Roman Emperor, like can tell the Pope to fuck off, but like also can't, but then he might also be the next Pope. It's weird. It was so weird, and then the king of Germany might also be the next Holy Roman Emperor. Plot twist, he was.

SPEAKER_02 6:28

And meanwhile, in Turkey, yeah, Romans are still there.

SPEAKER_00 6:33

It was so much. Like I was I was setting into this, I was getting ready to like write down all of my usual, and this is what's going on in this time period, just to give you kind of, you know, a general map of the area. And like there was just so much. My chaos brain could not handle how much there was. So I just deleted all of it. Threw it away, ripped the page out, started over. So, to quote myself, now in this particular time period of the left hand doesn't know what the right is doing or care what the right is doing, there's this this this two families of nobles that are kind of like kind of royal, kind of not. Like, like one family is like the an a family of archbishop, and the other one is Landgrove, which is basically a kind of a dukedom kind of thing. Like they're they're they're high-ranking nobles. But for some reason, they these two families get into this horrible kerscuffle over this piece of land where each family believes that they are entitled to this piece of land. Like, this feud gets started over basically, we own this plot of land, no, we own this plot of land, no, we own this plot of land. I hate you, I hate you more. Like, it's very Pat Field and McCoy. Thank you. I couldn't think of it. All I could hear was b-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding. I was like, that don't say that.

SPEAKER_02 7:55

No, not that one.

SPEAKER_00 7:56

They're not doing dealing with Bantos, no. So they have they have this incredible beef with each other. And I wrote their names down. So please forgive me because there is this weird. I was working with about four different sources. So I'm not sure if this guy's name was Ludwig or if his name was Louis. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 8:21

That might be a Sigurd Siegfried kind of thing.

SPEAKER_00 8:24

I thought so, but I wasn't sure, so I wrote them both down. But he was Thrickin.

SPEAKER_03 8:32

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 8:33

Okay? I got that part. That part at least was for sure. And then there was Archbishop Conrad of Mines.

SPEAKER_01 8:41

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 8:42

Thank you for having the most pronounceable name in all of this, Conrad.

SPEAKER_02 8:46

Yeah. Way to go. Way to go. I do love how sometimes you hear like, you know, what is essentially like old German or high German things or like part or Norse words. This dude's name is just Mike. Yeah, yeah. And they're just like, oh, right, because our language came from Yeah, like, and somebody's like, well, he was in the town of, you know, Hillsby, or, you know, like Hillsby or whatever. And then you're just like, well, that sounds way too pronounceable to be in like old Norse. And then they and then you have to stop and think. I was like, oh, right, because like half the towns in northern England were named by Vikings.

SPEAKER_00 9:21

Like, thank you, Assassin's Creed, for teaching me part of that.

SPEAKER_02 9:25

Yeah, yeah, dude.

SPEAKER_00 9:26

There were so many bits of playing Assassin's Creed, Valhalla specifically, that I was just like, there's no way that's true. And then lo and fucking behold, it was.

SPEAKER_02 9:34

Yeah. A lot of a lot of the places are just like, where's the word heathen come from? That's just what they called them. Yep. You know, like that's where's the, you know, where do the all these towns come from? It's like, oh, they're all Norse names.

SPEAKER_00 9:47

Yeah. And like, and and once you break down the Norse name of something, I'm I'm I'm I'm procrastinating, can you tell? Yeah. You it suddenly makes a whole lot of sense.

SPEAKER_02 9:55

Yeah. Yeah, it's like we have uh I'm uh I lived in a town for a little while called Crosby, which is a Scandinavian naming scheme, and it's town of Cross. Yeah. And so it's like, okay, it's the crossroads town. Yeah. It's on a railroad track. Yeah, it was like that's yeah. Yep. It's you you it it becomes really understandable very quick, but because our language is like 10 fucking languages in a trench coat.

SPEAKER_00 10:21

Yes. Our language is is the count culmination of our language mugging every other language in a dark alley.

SPEAKER_02 10:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:28

Give me your adverbs.

SPEAKER_02 10:30

Some helpful classism from the French. Yeah. All of our fancy words are Norman words. Yeah, like that's yeah. That's fun.

SPEAKER_00 10:37

Alright, so our boys, I'm gonna call him Ludwig because that's fun to say. It's hard to say, but it's fun to say. I'm gonna call him Ludwig and Conrad are beefing so hard. And I cannot stress this enough. They are beefing so hard that the Holy Roman Emperor has to step the fuck in and be like, y'all.

SPEAKER_05 11:02

Chill.

SPEAKER_00 11:03

Like, to the point where he, like, in the middle of his son, King Henry the Sixth, which by the way, we have a Holy Roman Emperor, and his son is the King of Germany, who was thought that he it was thought that he was going to be the next Holy Roman Emperor as well.

SPEAKER_02 11:18

And semi-elected, right?

SPEAKER_00 11:20

Like that's yeah. It's it's weird. It's a strange system. It confused me reading it. Like, I enjoyed reading about it, but I was just like, I don't understand this. Yeah. I am maybe not smart enough for this.

SPEAKER_02 11:32

It's just yeah, we no longer moving moving further into history from here, we get into the dynastic kingdoms. And but Germany, like the the area around Germany and in lower Scandinavia and and other like kind of parts of France and stuff, kind of stay like that for a long time. I mean, like throughout the like even uh, you know, famously like Prince Albert of Victoria fame, you know, like because she's the person in all the pictures. Uh he was from a place called Saxe Coburg, which existed because some guy married another guy, and then that principality became a different country for a little while.

SPEAKER_00 12:14

That happens a lot. Like that's that's how you get a whole bunch of those tiny little microcountries that like usually get absorbed in through a marriage.

SPEAKER_02 12:21

Yeah, all throughout like the what I guess we would call the imperial age. Central Europe is just like a constantly shifting map. Yeah. Prussia's there. They are involved in everything.

SPEAKER_00 12:35

Prussia, Prussia got fingers in everybody's pie.

SPEAKER_02 12:37

But like, you know, like there's there's all that shit. It just constantly moves around. But so so we've got these are our Hatfield and McCoy. Yes. And they're pissed off.

SPEAKER_00 12:46

Yes, the Landgrove and the Archbishop are like ready to throw hands at each other over this little like piece of land that neither of them can agree that the other owns for some reason, and like it's getting so bad that the Holy Rona Emperor is like, I need y'all to calm the fuck down and work it out. So I'm gonna send my son. His son, the 18-year-old king of Germany. Henry the Sixth, just trooping it. He's on his way to Poland to go conquer it, I guess. Do you know how hard it was to find out why the fuck he was going to Poland?

SPEAKER_02 13:24

Oh, pagans.

SPEAKER_00 13:27

It took me the better part of an hour to like pinpoint why was Henry the Sixth, King of Germany, going to Poland, Google. Why? Why to conquer it? Oh, okay, cool. Thank you. You couldn't have told me that an hour ago.

SPEAKER_02 13:42

What yeah, Poland is like on people's shit list for it was very wealthy for a little while. Yeah. And then uh because of like banks, basically. And then it was one of the last strongholds of of non-Christian religion. Well, like parts of Sweden and and Poland and Finland.

SPEAKER_00 14:00

They lost.

SPEAKER_02 14:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:02

Henry won. Uh, so on his on his military march into Poland, he gets a letter from his father, the Holy Roman Emperor, that I it I don't know why that blows my mind so much, but it does.

SPEAKER_03 14:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:15

He gets a letter from the Emperor, and he's like, hey, I need you to go, like, slap this shit down. Like, make them work it out. I'm tired of it. He's like, Ugh, okay, fine. So he does. He veers off course from going to Poland and goes to this little place called Erfurt to go settle a dispute between two nobles. Now, of course, any time that you get a overarching ruler of an area, like the Emperor.

SPEAKER_03 14:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:47

The Emperor for the Emperor. Um, yay, we finally got a 40k reference. Or a king.

SPEAKER_02 14:54

You're you're definitely a better dad, though.

SPEAKER_00 14:59

Anybody's a better dad than who? Uh you're you're gonna get you're gonna get quite the collection of nobles who are like, oh shit, this is gonna be our opportunity to, you know, talk to a grown-up. They think about the 18-year-old coming to settle a land dispute. So there is there is quite the collection of nobles that end up in this place. And there's a little bit, depending on your source, there's a little bit of discourse between where this meeting was held, and there's an actual name for it that I unfortunately did not write down. But it it's kind of the word I want to use for it is an all thing.

SPEAKER_02 15:36

Yeah, sure. But it's whatever their version of that is. Yeah. Like a conclave of sorts.

SPEAKER_00 15:42

Basically, yeah. It's a it's a collection of nobles coming together to work things out, to talk to someone who is of a higher rank than they are to get a ruling on things.

SPEAKER_03 15:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:51

And so hat our Hatfields and McCoys, the Archbishop and the Landgrove, um, Ludwig and Conrad, are of course commanded to attend because this shit's about them. And all these other nobles are like, ooh, this is our chance. We should maybe go. So they do. And of course, King Henry comes with his own retinue of people.

SPEAKER_03 16:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:15

So I'm I'm I'm I'm setting I'm setting the scale for you to to make you understand that this is more than just four dudes in a room talking at each other.

SPEAKER_02 16:24

Yeah. There's larger political stakes.

SPEAKER_00 16:27

This is anywhere from like a hundred dudes to two hundred dudes. And there are various certain servants and knights and clerics and all of that clerics. Clerks. Although I suppose there were clerics at the point at the time.

SPEAKER_02 16:40

Yeah, yeah. Um and probably like, I mean, all kinds of man-at-arms and marshals and yeah, all kinds of shit. I mean, it would come with a literal retinue every year.

SPEAKER_00 16:51

So so there's a bit of discourse between whether it was actually at the monastery of St. Peter or if it was in the provost of Erfurt's like office house. I'm gonna go with monastery because that feels uh more like like legal. Correct. Yeah. Like if if nothing else, simply for the scale of it. Like the sheer number of people. Because at the least you're going to have 90 people or so. At the most, you're gonna have about 200 or more.

SPEAKER_02 17:26

Yeah, unless you're unless well and granted, all these people maybe have the kind of house that is like a castle, but like also I think you're right. Like I I would side there too, because I if you're gonna this is this is a legal dispute. Yeah. Right? And and at the end of the day, it was usually the church that you know what I mean, like the kingdom set laws, but the church is the ones that keep the de the paperwork.

SPEAKER_00 17:50

Yeah. And the and you're most of most of your clerks are going to be clergy.

SPEAKER_03 17:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:55

So it makes sense that it would be at the monastery itself. But like I said, depending on your source, it's either at the provost of Erford's house, which is, if you don't know what the word provost means, because I didn't, I had never heard it before. Uh basically it's the HBIC. He is the head bitch in charge.

SPEAKER_02 18:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:13

We just throw in that internet slang around.

SPEAKER_02 18:15

For for what exactly though?

SPEAKER_00 18:17

Okay, we've all uh this is the guy in charge of the meeting. Of of the of the area of the church. Like it was a it was it was a a smidge nebulous on like in charge of what? It just means the provost. He is in charge. So I'm not sure if he's like the the like head church guy or if he's like the mayor of the town.

SPEAKER_02 18:43

Okay. I see. But either way, he has he's the the first line of like legal authority here.

SPEAKER_00 18:49

Yeah. And there there are some versions of this story because I read I read about three different versions of it. Where it is held at his office, and I'm not sure if it if it's like strictly his business office or if it's like his office within his home. Or if it was at or and then another version and it was held at the monastery itself, which would track a little more for what you're going to find out.

SPEAKER_03 19:15

Ah, okay.

SPEAKER_00 19:16

Ryan, you you have you have woodworking knowledge.

SPEAKER_02 19:19

So little. Yeah, not not great.

SPEAKER_00 19:21

Not a lot, but enough. Enough. You made you made the nifty little stand that our mics are here are sitting on.

SPEAKER_02 19:26

Yeah. And you have you have I made this.

SPEAKER_00 19:29

Oh, I didn't know you made this. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:30

I made the table that we're sitting next to, the the bookshelf.

SPEAKER_00 19:34

Yeah. I didn't know you made that.

SPEAKER_02 19:35

I mean, these are pre-cut. Oh, well, obviously. But all the yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:38

Rock on, dude. Look at you.

SPEAKER_02 19:41

All right.

SPEAKER_00 19:41

So yeah. This this this this next series of statements will will be relevant. Untreated wood attracts insects.

SPEAKER_04 19:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:50

It rots. It is it's it's wood. It is a natural thick, right?

SPEAKER_03 19:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:56

Like, and even even like pier and beam roofs, thatch roofs, which would have been very prevalent at the time, they all require regular maintenance and changing because these materials rot.

SPEAKER_02 20:08

Yeah, con in fact, uh the the English name, the last name, Thatcher. Yeah, it comes from that.

SPEAKER_00 20:14

Thatching a roof, yeah. Yeah. Which is very cool and still a very relevant way to to roof a building. And hilariously, there is a conflict going on right now over like the last two Thatcher's Guilds, about uh you're you're gonna love this. What the fuck? Listen, listen, listen, listen, listen. So they're they're beefing over uh importing the the fibers, not fibers, um Yeah, the the straw. The sh the straw.

SPEAKER_02 20:44

Or reeds, I guess, in some cases.

SPEAKER_00 20:46

I think they're reads. I don't I don't know enough about thatching. I just I I was I was told this and then I read about it and I giggled, and this met this information is about a month old. So it's just kind of been rattling around in my head. But these two Thatcher's guilds are are like beefing over imported thatch versus homegrown thatch.

SPEAKER_02 21:04

Ah.

SPEAKER_00 21:05

Because one is much, much longer than the other.

SPEAKER_02 21:09

And this is about historical accuracy to some degree.

SPEAKER_00 21:12

And quality, I think.

SPEAKER_02 21:14

Yeah. But it I think thatch English roofs with French thatch. That's bullshit.

SPEAKER_00 21:21

I had a good giggle over it because like I I recognize that thatch roofs are still a thing. Yeah, they across the pond.

SPEAKER_02 21:29

There's a whole town of them in Japan. Yeah. Uh sure Shiro something go.

SPEAKER_00 21:34

Um I was I was deeply amused that like, you know, the the what how many thatchers are left? Like six. It's gotta be in two different guilds, so there's three and three.

SPEAKER_02 21:42

It's like until they started building that castle in France, there was like no large block stone masons left, and now there's like a bunch of them.

SPEAKER_00 21:50

Yeah, that was anyway. That was fun. So that that's gonna be our first little like launch off topic.

SPEAKER_02 21:58

Jesus Christ. It's some Beefing of them in some pub. Good band name, beefing that beefing thatchers. Yeah. Excellent.

SPEAKER_00 22:06

Okay, so you you you know that natural fibers or natural not natural fibers. Ooh, there's the costumer in me. Natural uh materials.

unknown 22:15

Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 22:15

But not word. Natural material Materials. I quit. Cut. We're done. This episode's not happening.

SPEAKER_02 22:26

Yeah. Natural material. Natural materials. Natural material forms in a cave. And then you gotta walk with Sephiroth in fight of a dragon.

SPEAKER_00 22:33

Please. I will walk with Sephiroth anywhere.

SPEAKER_02 22:37

All right. Natural material will decay. And it it moves.

SPEAKER_00 22:42

It moves, it decays. It it does what natural things do, which is return to dirt.

SPEAKER_02 22:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:50

That is that is the that is the nature of things.

SPEAKER_02 22:54

Especially if you are um, well, in central Germany and therefore probably using pine for a lot of things. Yeah. So like softwoods uh do this a lot more than hardwoods because their pores are open. And so that's why you don't use soft woods for like cutting boards. That's a piece of carpentry information for anybody who's listening to this.

SPEAKER_00 23:12

I think mine's bamboo.

SPEAKER_02 23:14

Which is closed, yeah. It's it's also waxy.

SPEAKER_00 23:16

So imagine it's July, July 25th, specifically, in this region of Germany. Right? Now, I had a German Exchange student when when we were younger. So I w I I am relatively familiar with the climate over in Germany.

SPEAKER_02 23:34

Um cold. Wet. No, but and I've apparently have amazing summers.

SPEAKER_00 23:41

Yeah. Where is it? Hang on. I'm I'm trying to pull up a map for you so I can show so I can show you exactly where this place is in Germany.

SPEAKER_02 23:49

It's gotta be up north, right? Because he just came from Poland.

SPEAKER_00 23:52

It's a it's it's a little bit central. Like it's it's central east.

SPEAKER_02 23:58

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 23:59

I'm showing him where it is on the map.

SPEAKER_02 24:00

It's where is it on the map? I don't see it at all.

SPEAKER_00 24:03

How do you not see it? It's right there.

SPEAKER_02 24:05

Oh, Erfurt. There it is. Oh my god, it's a tiny blip, and the it is dead center of like, yeah. It's okay.

SPEAKER_00 24:14

It's like center leaning east of Germany.

SPEAKER_02 24:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:18

So July in Germany.

SPEAKER_02 24:20

It's a crossroad in between like Berlin and Munich.

SPEAKER_00 24:24

So it's like you're you're looking at it being about 75 degrees.

SPEAKER_02 24:27

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 24:28

And like, let's let's take about six degrees off of that because you know, global warming is a thing. Or excuse me, climate change is a thing. So it's about 70 degrees.

SPEAKER_02 24:39

Because this is a high altitude place in the summer.

SPEAKER_00 24:42

That's mind-blowing for us Texas natives.

SPEAKER_02 24:46

I'm envious. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:47

Same. I had a friend in Ireland who was complaining about it being 74 degrees in the middle of fucking August.

SPEAKER_03 24:53

Oh my god. Or no.

SPEAKER_00 24:55

I don't remember. I don't remember where when we had the conversation, but she was like, it's so hot, I'm dying. And she's and I was like, How hot is it, muffin? Her nickname. I don't want to out her on the internet, but she said it's 20 degrees. And I was like, Alright, put that in freedom units.

SPEAKER_03 25:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:13

Because America will do anything but use the metric system. To us, that seems temperate.

SPEAKER_03 25:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:19

Nice. Ideally. To them, it was fucking hot. And you also have to remember that this is the 12th century, so clothing is It's fucking wool.

SPEAKER_02 25:27

Everything's everything's wool and flax.

SPEAKER_00 25:29

Yeah. So they were they were a bit warm. And they packed anywhere from a hundred people to two hundred people into one room.

SPEAKER_02 25:38

Jeez.

SPEAKER_00 25:39

In the middle of summer.

SPEAKER_02 25:40

At least it is in a building that's probably fairly cool on the inside, but like allegedly.

SPEAKER_00 25:46

So what do you know about plumbing from this particular period?

SPEAKER_02 25:53

So if you're lucky.

SPEAKER_00 25:54

Because this is the dark ages.

SPEAKER_02 25:56

If you're lucky, your town has not been picked clean for stone, and the Roman system is still in place.

SPEAKER_00 26:03

Mm-hmm. Yes. Thank you.

SPEAKER_02 26:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:06

I love that you know that because that's literally the note in my in my notes right now is so Rome had a working sewer system.

SPEAKER_02 26:13

Yeah, they had lead-lined pipes. Mm-hmm. Uh that didn't shit.

SPEAKER_00 26:17

Some houses had running water.

SPEAKER_02 26:18

Yeah, it did, in fact, work very well. Yeah. And uh and that's not even new. Like toiletry exists in Crete in the Greek period. Like people did have a good idea of how to get shit away from your house.

SPEAKER_00 26:30

Because they may not have known about germs or bacteria theory, but they did equate with they did equate human waste with sickness.

SPEAKER_04 26:38

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 26:39

So, and that's that's typically why your outhouses, your latrines, any sort of the shitter was generally away from your home or further out of town.

SPEAKER_03 26:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:50

So there's there's this whole known connection between human waste and illness.

SPEAKER_02 26:56

Yeah, you've got in in many, many, many castles, you have a kind of like shoot system where you go into a privy and then you're basically crapping into a chimney. Yes. Except for it's upside down and the pipe in the cesspits. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yes.

SPEAKER_00 27:12

You are exactly correct. The cesspits. Now we take a great big step backwards from the Roman piping and plumbing and all of that into the dark ages, where everybody's shitting in a hole.

SPEAKER_03 27:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:25

And like, to the point, like it I will never understand how we went backwards because Rome had it figured out.

SPEAKER_02 27:34

Because the guys that came into Rome, this area was never really Rome. Well, no, I think But they would come in. Most people who lived outside of Rome that had Rome's level of technology did so because they were auxiliary units. Yeah. So they worked within the Roman military and then they left and they took some of that back with them. But I mean, think about when you go into like a major city, right? How much are you really learning?

SPEAKER_04 28:05

True.

SPEAKER_02 28:05

You're you're learning whatever you're doing as a job, right? But like Rome's level of technology was so high compared to a great deal of the world. I mean, unless unless you were in certain parts of the Middle East, like the the Mediterranean Middle East, like Lebanon and stuff, or you were in like China.

SPEAKER_00 28:27

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Good point.

SPEAKER_02 28:29

Uh, there wasn't there's not a lot. I mean, if if you're you know what I mean? If if you're in like the Black Forest, you do have some high technology things, right? Like um, there are people out in the plains that know how to make you know glue out of bone and all kinds of shit. They they have technology. They don't have a treadmill operated salt mine. You know what I mean? Like there's shit like that.

SPEAKER_00 28:51

So, yeah. Alright, you you have you have cowed my ire at this.

SPEAKER_02 28:57

Yeah, they but they were taking apart the aqueducts for the stone. Oh, it's so annoying.

SPEAKER_00 29:01

Yeah, like that you you you fucked yourselves. You fucked yourselves.

SPEAKER_02 29:04

Well, probably too, that the the the problem is is that if something breaks and you can't fix it, you might as well just use the raw materials. Yeah, true. You know, like they simply did not have the industry that was necessary to do what the Romans were able to do.

SPEAKER_00 29:23

It just irks me because like so many things could have been just sidestepped if they just kept up with that. Now, granted, lead lead pipes are bad. Lead pipes are eventually gonna drive you crazy.

SPEAKER_02 29:37

But this is like galena lead, though. This isn't like uh pure lead. This is this is like lead rock ceramic. Yeah, so like it's it's this wasn't the lead that they were adding to their wine to sweeten it. Yeah, they figured that out pretty quick. Yeah, they did that and they were like, oh, it makes the wine sweet, and then everybody started going fucking wigging out, and they're like, oh, it's because of this. Because they they had a level of logic where they basically said what changed. Yeah. Right? And they they were fairly before science, but scientific about a lot of things.

SPEAKER_00 30:07

Um theory's been around forever. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 30:11

So like in in Germany at this time, you're talking about if you're lucky you have a shoot cess pit. Mostly you have uh a kind of closet that kind of where the water closet thing comes from, but a closet where you have a bunch of buckets below two holes in a wooden bench.

SPEAKER_00 30:35

And that that are that will that will nightly or weekly be picked up by the nightmen.

SPEAKER_03 30:40

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 30:40

Which is an entire job that was absolutely fucking revolting, but it was one of the most revered jobs.

SPEAKER_02 30:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:51

Like it was it was a big deal if you were selected to be a nightman.

SPEAKER_02 30:56

Because you well, because if you did it in a especially, you know, not so much in like later period England, right? Because you're just like a guy that's it's like being a ragman. You're just employed to go change privy pots. But if you let's let's put this into context, right? If you're a guy that is a night soil man, a nightman for a castle, you have the run of the castle.

SPEAKER_05 31:19

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 31:20

You have to be a trusted person. Yes. Because just like in prisons today, like orderlies are the spies. Messages get pushed around from from like cell block to cell block by the guys pushing the brooms. They have a lot of they hear everything. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:36

You know, it's like it's really kind of like the uh this uh what what is it? Um Stewards of the Stool.

SPEAKER_02 31:43

Yeah, yeah. I mean, you're somebody's always around, you know?

SPEAKER_00 31:46

Yeah. So I I I went on this whole tangent about Night Soil and the Nightmen, and like I my there's one, two, three, four, five, five paragraphs of this in my notes because I was fucking fascinated by these people that like were kind of the the the sung but unsung heroes of this whole era.

SPEAKER_03 32:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 32:10

Because they were they were they were cleaning out the the preview pots, the preview chambers. Like they were they were taking the illness away from town.

SPEAKER_03 32:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 32:17

And they were doing it all at night because it smelled so bad. And these are also the same people that like they're they they create the night soil, yeah. And they they know the rotation of it. That that because I think it's what I think it's four months refuse is in soil and all of the huh in it is is before it burns out, basically. Yeah, and you can use it as fertilizer, because we were still using humanitizer up until I think the 90s.

SPEAKER_03 32:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 32:48

Yeah, I think, I think. Don't quote me on that. Um, or you can fact check me. I'm I'm allowed to be wrong.

SPEAKER_03 32:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 32:54

I'm saying I probably am wrong, but it was it was relatively recently that they stopped using human fertilizer because for cholera. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 33:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:03

And like, you know, you get that wrong by a month and you're congratulations, you have dysentery and you're dead.

SPEAKER_03 33:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:10

Um so yeah, these these people were like saving civilizations by carting around shit.

unknown 33:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 33:17

And like emptying cesspools and so they didn't have the the culture that so many other world cultures have, whereas like if you're a leather tanner or you make garum, or you're you know, like something like you're thought of as like kind of unclean. Yeah. That's a big thing in like east East Asia.

SPEAKER_00 33:34

We keep coming back to Rome for this, but like the the launders in Rome because they used piss to bleach the whites.

SPEAKER_02 33:41

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, phosphorus. Yeah. Yeah. And everybody was like, We're not phosphorus, urea, I guess. Ammonia. That's the word. There you go.

SPEAKER_00 33:50

I knew you'd get there eventually.

SPEAKER_02 33:51

Yeah, it was like it's in there, phosphorus is in there, but that's not why it's bleach. Uh, cool. Okay, so we got we got these guys. Uh, we now know what toilet situation we're working with.

unknown 34:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:03

So in this in this area, they had they had a latrine. They had, you know, the the long rows of of holes on a bench, the shitters, and then the chutes, and then the cesspit down below. And these cesspits, like the big cesspits, would usually only be emptied or or you know, tended to about once a year.

SPEAKER_02 34:27

Yeah, because that normally there's not that many people using them. Yeah. But we've got like 200 guys.

SPEAKER_00 34:34

Like 200 dudes. And you're probably so this the reason I chose to believe the monastery side of this is is you'll you'll understand, because we're we're coming up on it. Because a monastery would have the volume.

SPEAKER_02 34:50

Yeah, it would it would have the open space. Even if it didn't, it would be expected to take care of the sick from time to time.

SPEAKER_00 34:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 34:57

So it would have more room for people.

SPEAKER_00 34:59

Yeah. I've dude, I've summed up like so many paragraphs of my notes in like everything we just talked about. So give me just a moment while I recollect my thoughts.

SPEAKER_02 35:09

Yeah, while you're reading that, I'm gonna vamp a little bit. Please do. But I I do, I also I I I'm leaning towards the monastery as well because the whole world was unstable, the Catholic Church was not.

SPEAKER_00 35:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 35:24

If you wanted something official done, cross borders, cross lands, cross legalities, you enter the church.

unknown 35:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:32

Because the the church was like, I like I and once again, we're we're at this weird schism where like various monarchies think they're in charge, but the church also thinks it's in charge of the monarchies. So like this this the pope is it was it was explained to me in the most back asswards way possible that the pope thinks the king can't be the king until he says so, and the king thinks that the pope can't be the pope till he says so.

SPEAKER_02 35:58

Right. Because the king, the holy Roman Empire often in this day put the Pope kind of in charge, but also in order to be seen as the successor of Rome, which is why they called it the Holy Roman Empire Emperor to begin with, was that you kind of needed to be crowned by the Pope. Yeah, because the last Roman emperors were since Constantine.

SPEAKER_00 36:24

So we have 200 plus people, various nobles, their retinues, all gathered in this one place that I'm gonna say is the monastery, because I feel like the monastery is gonna have enough room.

SPEAKER_03 36:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:39

They're up in a room on the third floor, which for those that don't dabble in like medieval architecture, your third floor is gonna be the coolest room. It's also usually going to be the largest. It's gonna have a breezeway. Like it's typically that's where you're gonna put large gatherings. That's why in his in in well-researched historical novels, you'll heal you'll hear people, the main character usually talking about, and I had to go up the stairs to get to the vault room.

SPEAKER_03 37:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:09

Kind of thing. Because your ground floors are typically gonna be where your servants are, because that's gonna be your kitchens, your stables. That's that's your workforce. Second floor is usually gonna be residential, third floor is gonna be show-off.

SPEAKER_02 37:22

Um Yeah, we we're into the uh in Tudor architecture, the wooden layer above everything else.

SPEAKER_00 37:29

I'm so glad you know that. I'm so glad you know that. Because remember how I asked you what happens the wood?

SPEAKER_02 37:37

I didn't even realize I was tying that together.

SPEAKER_00 37:39

Thank you, Brian. I appreciate your segue. Intentionally or not.

SPEAKER_02 37:43

So Oh God. Alright, so now we have 200 people in a room who are shitting way too much above old wood, and the joists are not built for this amount of people.

SPEAKER_00 37:58

Oh, it's like you already know. Oh shit. Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 38:03

I just watched a video by the lovely strange eons about a website that's like about like shitty stuff on the internet, and a guy trying to put a uh a tub into his the floor of his house, and he cuts through one of the support joists because he wants to sink the tub like an infinity pool, and everyone telling him that he's a moron, because the way that joists work, okay, people don't always understand this. When you have a structure like wood, right? Like a structure like a floor in a home above above the ground floor, second, third story, whatever, the joists not only take the pressure from you standing on them, they compress. So what will happen is like like as the house, as you're bending the middle of the house, it's pushing, it's taking that pressure. If you overload or you damage these joists, they're all rotten or whatever, they just kind of fold in. Modern joists are made in an I-beam because the I-beam is a very stable structure on all sides, right? Old joists are usually just a timber frame. It's usually like a fucking four by four. And when they rot, they just collapse. Catastrophically. You can see this in old barn houses when you go up like old barns, when you go up on like the second or third in the loft, yeah. They're just beams that go like from side to side.

SPEAKER_00 39:37

Yeah. With occasionally like a sheet thrown across it. Yeah. Yeah. We live in the south. Yeah. We know.

SPEAKER_02 39:44

Yeah, these old, old smoke houses because the smoke preserves them.

SPEAKER_00 39:49

So we're in this monastery. We got 200 people up on the third floor. And I'm sure, I'm sure that our Hatfields and McCoys are screaming at each other, probably stomping, because these people had no chill. We we read about like the the rules and regulations of nobility and you know the gentry, but a lot of that didn't come about until I want to say the 16th and 17th century is when we started getting like, you know, the rules of decorum, largely.

SPEAKER_02 40:21

In this area specifically, because Maximilian has a lot of rules. Yeah, like Maximilian was a was loved fucking duels and tourneys and shit. Yeah. But he wanted them done in a way that didn't spill out into towns all the time. Yeah. And knights were violent. So incredibly so.

SPEAKER_00 40:41

This is the 12th century.

SPEAKER_02 40:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 40:43

Before any of that has gotten started.

SPEAKER_02 40:44

Yeah, way before.

SPEAKER_00 40:46

So I I I can imagine in my head that our our our Landgrove Ludwig and our Archbishop Conrad, who's the cousin of the king, by the way, BT Dubs, uh, is are just going the fuck at each other. Like they are about to throw hands, I presume. Like I can imagine that this argument is getting very heated. They're probably stomping, screaming at each other. You have 200, you have 150 other, let's sit, let's set it at 150 other nobles in the room that are like watching the tea. And then probably their various knights and servants all like milling and moving about in between, doing servant-y things or, you know, guarding the door or whatnot. And then suddenly, the floor collapses.

SPEAKER_03 41:36

Jeez.

SPEAKER_00 41:37

This wooden floor on the third floor of this monastery just whoop surrenders.

SPEAKER_02 41:46

Super quick, too.

SPEAKER_00 41:48

Collapses from the inside. Hits like literally collapses so hard when it hits the floor beneath it, it collapses that one.

SPEAKER_02 41:56

Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 41:58

And takes them all the way down to the base layer. Do you know what the base layer is? Because we spent about five minutes talking about it.

SPEAKER_02 42:04

It's just a bunch of shit.

SPEAKER_00 42:05

The cesspool.

SPEAKER_02 42:10

Oh god.

SPEAKER_00 42:13

Now.

SPEAKER_02 42:14

I want to say, isn't this a funny moment? And they're all just standing and shit, going, uh. However, like I said before, they have a tendency to fold in. So all these people are gonna be like on top of each other.

SPEAKER_00 42:30

There were four main causes of death for this incident. I love you. I love you. I appreciate you so much. You are the best brother. There were four main causes of death for this incident. The fall itself, as in the collapse of whoop! Yeah, just down you go! Getting taken out by that, getting hit by the debris from the collapse. Drowning.

SPEAKER_01 43:00

Oh.

SPEAKER_00 43:02

In literal shit. And suffocation.

SPEAKER_02 43:07

From being dead.

SPEAKER_00 43:08

Now suffocation. Some of you may be wondering what? How? It's like, yeah, the air is gross, but um, dear friends. Human refuse when it begins to uh decay.

SPEAKER_02 43:26

Oh shit.

SPEAKER_00 43:27

As it were, releases hydrogen sulfide.

SPEAKER_02 43:35

It's pushing the oxygen out of the air, like out of the room.

SPEAKER_00 43:39

Heavier than air. So the second you breathe that, you can't get it back out. One breath at high at one breath of hydrogen sulfide out of at the proper level can kill you.

SPEAKER_02 43:55

Holy shit. Yeah, it's like the lake thing, like the acidic lake thing. You walk in, you bat. Down a tire shoe and then you die.

SPEAKER_00 44:02

And or the uh the the little the little mini eddies in the in the ocean of the super salinated water.

SPEAKER_02 44:09

The look like yeah yeah yikes.

SPEAKER_00 44:12

So the floor gave the fuck up and took 60 people with it.

SPEAKER_02 44:18

My god. Well, at least the whole thing didn't fold. Because that's the like the thing, that's when you see these really, really old buildings, the way that they're just kind of like the reason the Tudor stuff looks the way it does, where it's kind of like going out and out and out, is because they have beams over a layer.

SPEAKER_00 44:34

Well, yeah, and they're like, build on top of this. Outside of the uh of the tutor buildings, how they have those cross beams, like almost always.

SPEAKER_02 44:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 44:42

Like they have a very distinct like stucco and beam look.

SPEAKER_02 44:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 44:47

Stucco the right word? Yes. Okay, cool. Just making sure. I don't house. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 44:53

I would call it stucco. I'm sure they had a different uh like waddle and daub or something. That's probably it. Yeah. But but by the time of the like the definitely in this era, but like by the time of the tutors, there's a plaster look to it. Yeah. And then it's kind of like building a house with Jingle blocks. It gets wider as it goes up. And and that's not out of the ordinary. Yeah. So like that I'm I'm very surprised, like the roof and everything didn't come down. Right.

SPEAKER_00 45:24

Because like when you're just sucks in.

SPEAKER_02 45:28

Yeah, like, and you're just like, oh man, like the whole house, it it just kind of collapses and then everything kind of falls to the middle. You know, like I said, it's it almost looks like it folds, you know.

SPEAKER_00 45:37

Well, apparently this one, this one, the outer structure was built well enough that that did not happen. Yeah. But our inside just hollowed itself out. Shit. And our homeboys, King Henry, 18-year-old king of Germany, and his cousin Conrad were saved from this. Why you ask? Because the homies were sitting on the windowsills.

SPEAKER_01 46:01

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 46:03

We were just chilling. Rose just being bros. Yeah. Sitting on the stone windowsills. That's how they were that's how they were saved from this. And other other nobles that that didn't, you know, fall in and die, uh, were were basically like clinging on to other bits of it. And there's they launched the the monastery, it launches this whole rescue with like extended ladders.

SPEAKER_02 46:30

Yeah, because I guess you just put the ladder over the cesspit. You have something to grab on to.

SPEAKER_00 46:35

It was fucking wild reading about this. Because, like I said, there's three or four different accounts of like how the rescue went down, but in almost all of them, there's ladders involved. And like in one account, it says that Henry and Conrad are sitting in like chairs on the stone section of it, which I under like, okay, the only reason I understand where you're coming from with the stone section is because I build shit in Minecraft.

SPEAKER_02 46:59

Yeah. Because you're you're getting bigger as you're going up.

SPEAKER_00 47:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 47:03

Yeah. Uh but like your floor, the stone section of the floor is the is the wall of the section below you.

SPEAKER_00 47:10

Yeah. So there's a little bit of discourse. I personally love the idea that King Henry is just sitting there, like elbows on his knees, one hand, like he's doing the why am I here face? Listening to these two dudes scream at each other, sitting on the windowsill, and then all of a sudden, whoop, the floor goes the floor falls off.

SPEAKER_02 47:33

Somebody hears a loud creak and then just chaos.

SPEAKER_01 47:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 47:37

And then suddenly the of disturbing that much sewage. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 47:45

Yeah. So needless to say, like I like I said, Henry and Conrad survive. And you remember our boy Ludwig?

SPEAKER_03 47:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 47:54

The landgrove also survived. He's his anti quote, mangled body was fished out of the cesspit.

SPEAKER_01 48:03

Whoa.

SPEAKER_00 48:04

And not only did this motherfucker live, he made a full recovery.

SPEAKER_02 48:09

He's gonna get that fucking land. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 48:15

Shortly after this, like literally, Henry is rescued and he says, man, fuck this shit. And bounces.

SPEAKER_01 48:23

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 48:24

Leaving this dispute completely unsolved.

SPEAKER_02 48:27

You know what, though.

SPEAKER_00 48:29

The Archduke and the Landgrove continue to beef.

SPEAKER_02 48:34

Look. Fuck this. Literally, literally, fuck this shit. I'm out.

SPEAKER_00 48:42

I was hoping you would make the joke. I left it open for you.

SPEAKER_02 48:48

Oh my god, that's crazy.

SPEAKER_00 48:51

Yeah. So that's that's that's the story. Like there's there's it's the the floor fell out. Whoop! Into the shit. 60 nobles. Into literal shit. I just, you know, if you can imagine how traumatized the survivors were. You never go upstairs again.

SPEAKER_02 49:11

No, there's like dead people around you that have fucking aspirated fucking shit. I mean, and hydrogen sulfide. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 49:20

I want to say I remember. Can no, I'm not gonna look that up. I wanna say there's a chemical, or not a chemical, a a gas you can breathe that makes your that makes your voice really, really, really low. Like hydrogen makes it super high. Is that what it is?

SPEAKER_02 49:36

I'm pretty sure it's it because xenon's a noble gas, and so it's not I thought so, but it wasn't sure. It's super heavy. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 49:44

Because my brain was like in that in that like 60 seconds before your brain suffocates from lack of oxygen, because all of the oxygen has been pushed out of your lungs because you've breathed in this gas that is heavier. I wonder what your voice sounded like. Like, did it slow down your vocal cords like xenon does?

SPEAKER_02 50:00

So I I doubt it, because xenon is dense. That's the it's a gas, but it's it's it's a dense particle. So I don't know. And I I think it's xenon. I'm gonna have to look that up really quick.

SPEAKER_00 50:11

Um Well, I the the only reason I brought it up is because that's what I was thinking, and I was thinking of the Mythbusters episode when Adam did it. Like just inhaled a balloon full of this gas and just sounded like Darth Vader.

SPEAKER_02 50:24

Sulfur hexafluoride. Oh my god, that's awesome. Whatever the fuck that was.

SPEAKER_00 50:38

So I I can imagine that all of these nobles went to this meeting meeting expecting tea, not really expecting how shitty it was gonna get.

SPEAKER_02 50:47

Yeah. Oh man, I almost missed it. Oh man, that's shh. Yeah, what what do they did did they leave any notes about like how they felt about this or what how they tried to solve this problem?

SPEAKER_00 51:04

It's weird because like the account of it exists in verbal history, but doesn't get written down for another like hundred years.

SPEAKER_02 51:14

Yeesh. So do we know like because now we have the the possibility of like shit getting weird. Um but like people just kind of like embellishing.

SPEAKER_00 51:26

Yeah, yeah. So this one was fun because it's it's it's generally accepted as a thing that happened. Like, like it is it is a historical event. Uh but our accounts of it are kind of spotty, which is why there's so many different versions of it. And I thought it was I thought it was fun because I mean come on. Dunking the ruling class and shit.

SPEAKER_02 51:49

Yeah, yeah. Pretty good.

SPEAKER_00 51:53

And all of it kicks off. Like this whole meeting kicks off because two dudes are like, no, I own it. No, I own it. Meh.

SPEAKER_02 52:00

If only we can get a bunch of tech bros above a waste management facility.

SPEAKER_00 52:08

Oh my gosh. So yeah, that was the latrine disaster of 1184.

SPEAKER_02 52:13

That's that's crazy. That's nuts.

SPEAKER_00 52:16

A floor collapsing. Now, granted, I understand that we this this was a period where untreated wood was a thing. Like you you didn't have oh hi.

SPEAKER_02 52:27

There's a very floppy kitty that has joined us.

SPEAKER_00 52:31

My arm just got used as a pillow and I am enchanted. Focus. Untreated wood. This is a period where untreated wood is the thing, shut up. Don't you dare laugh at me. Uh is is is not only a thing, but it's the it's the thing. It's the regular thing because they didn't have chemicals to treat the wood like we do now.

SPEAKER_02 52:49

Yeah, you would you would uh typically I mean everybody's got a different way of doing this. Yeah. But like in the Far East, it's usually like you can lacquer it or you can cover it in like a lime-based plaster, which is why like when you see like uh Japanese castles and they're they're like black and white, yeah, it's plaster and then lacquer or terracotta for the tiles. Um, one of the reasons why you don't see like siege weaponry that's very fire-based is because it doesn't work on this building. Yeah. The plaster doesn't burn.

SPEAKER_00 53:18

So like it just falls off. It's basically stone.

SPEAKER_02 53:20

But also like because the lacquer itself doesn't burn. Yeah. And so like, but you uh like nail polish. Yeah. So then some people might uh use fire treatment. Like you see that in China a lot, the uh the bamboo that's used for a lot of things.

SPEAKER_00 53:36

One that is thousands of years old old is just oiling the wood.

SPEAKER_02 53:39

Yeah. Yeah, literally just like lin like we would see blind seed oil now, but yeah, but like oil just in general, you know, like and uh Ironically, oil was also how like oil and wax were were were also how you rainproof stuff. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, like so they they had their they had their their ways of doing it, but time and climate and use and if you're lucky it gets so old that it doesn't matter anymore, and it's like stone. Yeah. Basically, but like This was not the case. That rarely ever happens, to be honest.

SPEAKER_00 54:15

And they put they put 200 motherfuckers.

SPEAKER_02 54:20

Strangely enough, you know the wood that lasts like the longest, like stuff that we have, things that are just used. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. The oils in your skin will secure it, essentially. Yeah, you get like these super old, you know, somebody's got like a a line level or or a tool haft or a sword or something that's been handled by people for like hundreds of years. You know, like and it's oily and black, and that wood is like fucking petrified. You know, like but you uh yeah, still the beams. Fire, fire and rot were a major issue all throughout these times. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 54:55

Because I the this was this was a time period where we didn't have things that we take for granted now, like steel.

SPEAKER_02 55:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 55:01

Or or even taking it back a little bit further than that, iron.

SPEAKER_02 55:05

Yeah, the idea of putting a steel beam in a building in in you know the the pre-Renaissance period. Insane.

SPEAKER_00 55:14

Yeah. Because not only were you gonna get that much steel, but like it's gonna be so heavy.

SPEAKER_02 55:18

It's the enough steel to to man an army.

SPEAKER_00 55:21

I mean, like that's but they had other things to make without.

SPEAKER_02 55:24

They had other things that yeah, like that's that would be it was so incredible. Until you get to like the mass industrialization uh period that that's not really possible for most places. And then even like I mean the greatest works of art of the Renaissance period, like the casting arts that were using bronze, like the sports of horse and stuff. That's like reference. Reference. Yeah, revolutionary. You know what they use that for while we don't have it? Cannons. It was it was broken down to make cannons.

SPEAKER_00 55:54

Huh.

SPEAKER_02 55:55

Bronze.

SPEAKER_00 55:56

Oh yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 55:56

And so like that they got into a big fight. Had to use it. That's what I've heard, anyways. I don't know, I may be completely wrong on that. But um, goddamn, just 200 dudes falling into shit's pretty crazy. I don't even know how to I'm like given facts because I don't know how to process that. Even if you live, if it gets in your eyes and shit.

SPEAKER_00 56:18

Oh yeah, yeah, the infections alone. Yeah. Like the the there look, there's a reason that the the nightman and night soil and like that that entire industry of moving human waste was a thing even before we had German German bacteria.

unknown 56:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 56:35

Like the theory around it. People had already connected human waste to illness. I mean cholera.

SPEAKER_02 56:42

Yeah, you get the the miasma theory at some point where people were just like, it's the smell. Because so many the smell. Yeah. There's so many like rotting things.

SPEAKER_00 56:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 56:54

It when you're smelling it, you're smelling particles. And those like so they they were wrong about miasma theory, but sometimes they were right.

SPEAKER_00 57:02

But they like weren't all the way wrong about the city.

SPEAKER_02 57:03

Yeah, they weren't all the way wrong. If you're in the if you're in a con a close confine with something that is rotting, you might get sick from it.

SPEAKER_00 57:11

So I imagine that the people that fell in and even like survived, like the ones that didn't die from drowning or being crushed or suffocating.

SPEAKER_02 57:21

Damn. The grossest mosh pit of all time.

SPEAKER_00 57:25

Just can you imagine how sick they were afterwards?

SPEAKER_02 57:29

Everyone.

SPEAKER_00 57:30

Every one of them. Oh my god. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 57:34

Just from the thought.

unknown 57:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 57:35

You know what I mean? Like, even if even if it's completely burned out, it's totally safe. I mean, not obviously for ingestion or something like that, but it's not carrying like a bunch of disease, regular disease. It's just like bacteria from the breakdown. The thought alone of that memory would make you ill.

unknown 57:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 57:54

I imagine they were the the survivors were deeply traumatized. Uh poor Ludwig, though. Like he was bound to goddamn determined to get that land.

SPEAKER_01 58:03

Yeah. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 58:05

I fell in shit for this.

SPEAKER_02 58:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 58:09

But in German.

SPEAKER_02 58:10

Some of you have said I do not have rights to this land. Some of you need to eat a goddamn apple.

SPEAKER_00 58:24

Oh Jesus. Fucking Ludwig versus Conrad. I fell in shit for this. I watched you fall in shit for this. It's still mine.

SPEAKER_02 58:35

You know what's crazy? Not one bit of corn. Wasn't in Europe at the time. No corn.

SPEAKER_00 58:43

I cannot believe you went there.

unknown 58:47

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 58:49

Alright. I told you this was going to be a short episode because, like, literally, I normally have like seven to nine pages of notes. I had four.

SPEAKER_02 58:58

Dude, I like the short ones because you get to riff on it more.

SPEAKER_00 59:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 59:02

I unfortunately have done several that were just like very fact laden, and it's just me rattling numbers off for 30 minutes.

SPEAKER_00 59:08

And there's nothing wrong with that. They're educational. It's fun. It's like I like learning things. I have Cheetos in my bag. Hey! Time.

SPEAKER_02 59:18

And that is not officially an indication of lying. Hot chip.

SPEAKER_00 59:26

Oh, oh. Oh, I feel so stupid. It just booshed right over my head and my roots are showing. Fucking blonde.

SPEAKER_01 59:36

Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh shit.

SPEAKER_00 59:39

So yeah, that was the latrine incident of 1184, courtesy of my partner, who is always on the lookout for weird and morbid shit.

SPEAKER_02 59:46

That's pretty weird and morbid.

SPEAKER_00 59:48

And definitely shit.

SPEAKER_02 59:49

Yeah. Oh god. Oh my god. This could be literally like the thing that sets off. We we have a tendency to do stories that are like, and this is why we have fire codes or whatever. This I wonder there's gotta be whole sections of German free states that reference this story of like, and this is why we check our joints.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:14

Probably. Like I didn't look much further into it because once again, I I procrastinated so hard, and I will be the first person to admit that I was still working on this when you came to pick me up today. He calls me and he's like, I'm in your backyard. Brian, I haven't even showered.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:36

Literally what you said. And after hearing this story, some of you may need to shower. Just to feel clean, you know.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:45

This one this one was a little gross. That's why we gave the trigger warning at the beginning. Oh, yeah. So thank you very much for joining me on this chatastic adventure.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:56

There are at least 150 people in this story who know exactly what it feels like to be a not quite well-chewed peanut.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:11

Oh no. Let's talk about eat shit. We're done. We're done.

unknown 1:01:18

Cut. Damn it.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:22

All right.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:23

Bye, guys.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:24

Bye.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:24

Let's go get something to eat.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:27

Oh, I'm making chicken spaghetti tonight.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:29

Oh, wow. Oh, God. All right. This is yes, bye.