The Viewfinder Sessions | S1:E4 | Let's Go North

In this engaging conversation, Shaun Antle speaks with Kaila Walton, a plus-size hiker and photographer, about her journey in photography, the impact of nature on mental health, and the importance of representation in outdoor activities. They discuss the challenges of social media, the need for authenticity, and how creativity can serve as a coping mechanism. Kaila shares her experiences living in the North and how it has shaped her perspective on life and nature. The conversation culminates in a rapid-fire question segment, providing insights into Kaila's thoughts on photography, mental health, and the beauty of the outdoors.

Takeaways

• Kaila Walton is a plus-size hiker and photographer advocating for body positivity in outdoor activities.
• Photography helped Kaila appreciate the small details in nature and slow down.
• Living in the North has given Kaila a unique perspective on life and nature.
• Kaila emphasizes the importance of representation for plus-size individuals in outdoor spaces.
• Social media can impact mental health, and it's essential to curate your feed positively.
• Kaila's journey in photography began as a way to document her adventures and inspire others.
• Creativity and mental health are intertwined, serving as a coping mechanism for many.
• Kaila encourages people not to wait for the 'perfect' moment to engage in outdoor activities.
• The conversation highlights the need for authenticity in social media and personal expression.
• Kaila's experiences show that nature can be a powerful healer and source of inspiration.

Transcript

0:02

All right, and I always clap so that I know where I'm actually starting and when I'm editing. So I'll do that, I'll play the music and then we'll get right into it. Cool beans, any questions? yep. No, I'll just go with the flow. Awesome. Good evening and welcome to TVS, The Viewfinder Sessions. It's a place where we chat with like-minded individuals who are connected in some way to photography, mental health, uh creative outlets, travel, everything else in between. um But tonight's guest is Kaila Walton, a powerful and self-described plus-size hiker and explorer from Coast. From the coast of Vancouver to Northwest Territories, she can be found by a waterfall, deep into a book or advocating and inspiring people of all shapes and sizes to get outside and enjoy what nature has to offer. uh Creator of Fat Wander Babes by night and HR officer by day, she is a straight up badass. And I am stoked to have this opportunity to have her on the show. Welcome Kaila. Thank you, thank you. Good to be here. That's awesome. I know we've been chatting for quite some time and it's like I was explaining before we hit record, I just, I've wanted to do a podcast for a long time. uh We see a lot of other different podcasts that are out there and I love the different genres that are out there but I kind of found that they all kind of covered one specific thing. And for me, creative outlets, photography, getting outdoors, nature, um mental health, all of that kind of wasn't really out there as a whole. And so that's kind of why we started. And I finally got to get it going and get you on here. I want to, first of all, let's kind of tell the listeners and anybody watching. where you're calling in from today and what's outside your window right now. uh I'm calling in from Yellowknife, Northwest Territories, where I live currently. Outside my window is uh dark sky. Sunset was a little while ago. oh No, I don't see Aurora yet, but it is clear. So it could be, there could be Aurora tonight. And then just apartments and all that stuff. And my cat's sitting on the window shelf. yeah, what's the cat's name? Juniper, I love it. I love it. um Why don't you kind of tell us a bit more about yourself? um Like I said in kind of the intro there, just learning a bit about you myself and following you on socials. um You have, I think... quite an interesting story. ah And I absolutely love kind of where you come from and how you embody. It's funny, I have to say this, I'm totally going off my script right now. ah But I was rereading some things today and just noticing how like your take, and I'm sure we'll get further into this later on, but just your take on um the word fat, like I absolutely love where you come from with that. so talk to us a bit more about yourself, your hiking, exploring. um I forget the name of it now, but I know you're in, like you started your own group and you're in a few other groups and uh how photography entered your life. Just kind of give us a little bit about all of those types of things. Yeah, so I grew up on, was born and raised on Vancouver Island in the Comox Valley. Um, lived there until I was about 20 and then followed my parents up to Prince George, um, BC. And I didn't really get into photography until I moved to Prince George actually. And like I grew up being a very active, sporty type person where I was biking everywhere because I grew up on a small gulf island called Denman Island. And so I biked to my friend's place all the time, lots of walking to and from school and to my grandparents place and all that stuff. And so like I really grew up loving the outdoors, photography didn't come to me until I was around 20 and living in Prince George because my parents moved up there. So I was like, I'll go with you guys. Still young. Don't know what I want to do yet. And so my dad handed me down his camera and kind of gave me a few tips on how things worked and everything. I was mostly just self-taught. looking up YouTube and figuring out things like how do I take a picture, like the long exposure waterfall pictures, how do I take pictures like that? And so I would Google it, figure it out and then go out and do it myself. And when I first started, a lot of it was being able to have a good excuse to go out and go on hikes and check out new places and explore a new part of BC that I hadn't been to yet as well. so I figured, well, and I want to learn how to take Northern Lights pictures and an astrophotography and stuff and looked up how to do all that and kind of that. that's, this was back in like 2012 ish. when I started diving into that and it took a while to figure everything out. You're not a pro right off the hop, uh but you learn and try and do different things. so uh the fun thing is, is I would be like, well, I want to go out and take photos. So I want to go do this hike or I want to drive down this logging road and check out this place. it really helped me. m even love the outdoors more because it helped me see the beauty in things that maybe I overlooked, especially growing up on the Vancouver Island where everybody's jealous and that I left there. I was when I was going to say that to like growing up in that area, even where you are now, like in in Yellowknife, uh having got to come there myself. uh It's such a unique and different place in Yellowknife. And so I think to like, you know, when you talk about photography, uh and the outdoors and nature and all of those different things. What do you think photography gave you that you either didn't or couldn't find somewhere else? Hmm. I think it helped me to slow down and uh appreciate and notice the small things, whether it's a bird flying in the sky or little dew drops on leaves. uh It really, it really helped me to not rush because I know a lot of people that go outdoors and they have certain set objectives, like if they're hiking, they're on a mission to get to the top of the mountain right away. And I'm not a fast hiker. I've never claimed to be in so. I want to enjoy the journey to get to the place and it really has, I think, given me a much broader and greater appreciation for uh all the types of things in nature. It's funny, know, ah for those listening and even those who are watching, my first couple of episodes I didn't do scripts and the last couple I have done scripts. Like just something to kind of keep me, because I can, this could be three hours long every time I do it. um But you just literally hit three points that I had written down and we have not discussed it at all. um things like observation, seeing the world around us, slowing down, taking time to look closer, learning to notice the small moments. This is why I love these types of opportunities, right? With technology, from podcasts to meeting other people, because you literally hit the nail three for three. And we didn't talk, so. Nope. I think that is something to be said just right there because when we when we look at photography and we look at nature um I think it's a very more and more people are seeing it the way that we're seeing it right now right where it is that opportunity to um see the world differently slow down noticed the small things. I even took to last year, I went out and I just said, okay, I'm going to focus on the small things. I'm going to walk at the local park and I'm just gonna look for, um not even just like the fungi, I'm gonna look at the underneath of a fungi. I'm gonna look at the tips of the trees and the different things that are out there because as a photographer, I'm sure you're like me, whether it's wildlife or landscapes, you're constantly shooting the big stuff, right? Like you're going to look for all of these big things, but then when you really stop and slow down, I think it's in those moments where It's not a polar bear. It's not this gorgeous, stunning landscape. seeing that dewdrop, seeing that um the detail in the the underside of a fungus or fungi, you know, like. Not only are you taking the moment to see that, but I think that's when as human beings, we really start to. focus and center within ourselves. And so I kind of wonder for you, like, I'll give you an example of me. And if you have an example or something that resonates. um So I always use it whether I'm angry at a situation or my wife and I had a fight or the kids are driving me nuts. um You know, I always. when I know it's getting to that point where it's like, okay, I need to go. I'm gonna do or say things that I'm gonna regret. So I grab my camera, I hop in the truck, and I drive to the closest park that I can find. And it amazes me every time because within five minutes, um the first thing, whether it's a dewdrop, whether it's a warbler, whether it's... snow sitting on a tree branch or something, whatever it is, it takes my attention. And then five minutes later, especially if it's like a kinglet or a warbler, I'm laughing because I'm like chasing around like a maniac. And then I often find my time, myself stopping and just going, this is, this is why I do it. This is why I, I shoot. is why I, um this is why photography literally has saved my life because m 10 minutes ago, I was fuming and frothing at the mouth and now I'm laughing and enjoying it. And then I can take my time, wrap it up and head on back, back home and handle business, however that looks. What for you? do you notice or how does that affect you when it comes to not just uh photography in and of itself, but the hiking and being out in nature? What is something similar that you kind of think you can apply to that same logic or thought process? Yeah, I think it's really important to find things that help you de-stress, whether it's stress from family or finance or whatever it is, and do the things that fill your cup, right? Instead of drain it. And that is, for me, getting out in nature, photography, It's a really good motivator to get outside for me as well, because I could easily just hang out inside and not go anywhere. uh But like, it's a similar thing for me is when I was in Alberta, I was at a really stressful job for me. was like at the time, was a relatively toxic workplace, unfortunately. One of the things that helped me get through it was my weekends going out to Dinosaur provincial park, Waterton Lakes National Park, and just taking pictures of the night sky or uh car camping and then getting up and going out to a spot for a sunrise photo and things like that. When I'm doing those things, I don't think about all the other nonsense that's going on in my life because and it helps you like center and ground yourself or like you know what all other stuff like in some ways it kind of does matter but like in the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter it's gonna sort itself out it's gonna be okay right and so that's that's something that I think is how I view and feel when I go outside it's funny you hit on a couple of things there. I think off camera we'll chat a bit more too because I uh just before I got on, I got an email regarding a situation from employment and and it's it's extremely frustrating, right? How toxicity and and different things in the workplace. really, I think, similarly to you, right, photography and nature got me through many years of it until I finally took the steps I needed to take. um let's switch gears for a second here. being in Yellowknife, you're like completely opposite to where I am right now. um I am in the Florida of Canada. So like the dirty south of, of of the country and um what if anything kind of makes the north like for you being in the north do you do you think you see things differently up there where wilderness is vast ah the concrete jungle doesn't exist as much as it does down here or even in other places um you know, in Alberta or BC, we all have that concrete jungle, but um what if anything makes the North help you see things differently? In life, in general. I think so in an accumulation of years I've lived in Yellowknife for around six years now, uh which I think is sufficient enough time for me to know what it's like being up here. it really, one thing that it gives you much appreciation for is because everything is so far away from here, you learn to appreciate the things that you have here, whether it's stores and cell phone service and and things like that. ah But it's also really made me appreciate being like, my commute to work is five minutes if I'm driving. ah If I want to be outside of cell phone service and on one of the few hiking trails we have here, I drive 15, 20 minutes and I'm out ah into nature and could see foxes. And if I'm lucky, birds and owls and things like that. em So it really has made me appreciate how a lot of people love being up here and it's a slower pace of life really, like even though people are working in whether it's government jobs or aviation or mining, the attitude that people have here is very relaxed. uh There's not the hustle and bustle of a big city, right? And the biggest city I've ever lived in is a population of like 100,000. And the population here is about 20,000. And so it definitely has made me appreciate slow living. Yeah, yeah, 100%. I think that's and I think that is for me, like, in my time, like my family, my dad's from Newfoundland, and like that's where I call home. ah And when I think about Newfoundland, when I think about Northern Ontario, Northern Manitoba, like Northern anywhere, ah the pace of life is different, and people rely on each other a lot more. um I won't go into it, but you know that I had the accident when I was there and just how people were and how they responded um is it's different than what it's like in the bigger city centers. And so I think that's I think I agree. think um and not just that it's the north, I think it's that because the nature and and and Everything is just so vast out there where, like you said, right, 15, 20 minutes, you're you're you're in God's country. And uh here, like to get anywhere remotely close to that, I've got to go to probably Tobamori or Algonquin Park. And those are minimum four to six hour drive away. uh So it's it's it's one of those things that maybe people who live there take for granted. And then there's people like me. who wish we had it, but then at the same time, even in saying that, right, there's, there's the pluses and minuses, right? Because I do have cell service at all times. As of late, as you know, cause I know you're a big, you're like me, we're on social media, flooding it with all the bullshit that we're seeing right now happen across the planet, especially down South. um But yeah, it, it, it has its plus and minuses regardless of where you are, but I do think ah being in that wilderness type landscape is just different and it hits different. um Yeah, one of the things I wanted to ask too is, um Photography as awareness, not just content. um People see lots of things, like different images from photographers like yourself. ah We don't always get to see behind that. And so I know um kind of where you are with photography. What are some of the things that Maybe, and again, no pressure, but what are some of the things that people don't get to see when they look at Kaila's social media and they see, like, look at her, she's climbing that mountain or she's in this beautiful place. What are some of the things that people don't get to see? Both, and you can take kind of creative control over it. It can be funny things, it can be serious things, it doesn't really matter, but what are some of the things that we don't see? I'll do a combo of both. A lot of people think I'm out and about all the time. I work a Monday to Friday corporate job at the moment and some weekends I don't go out at all. um So it's just a matter of like I take a few big trips every year. In the summer I try and go camping when I can but it all depends on the forest fire smoke. Mm. So that's one thing that like people see like and I know it happens to a lot of folks like whoa You're like out here doing this doing that doing everything on the weekend. I'm like No If it's winter here and I go out maybe two or three times over like a month um I can have a lot of photos so I could post uh Right and it seems like for northern lights the weather has been a little bit weird here Mm. I haven't gone out lot for Northern Lights, but like, so I'm not out and about adventuring as much as people maybe think I am. I wish I was doing it more sometimes, but such is life. And then the other thing is, um, how much time, especially because like I've recently just got into wild, like bigger into wildlife photography, especially bird watching. I love bird watching. so is. the amount of time and research it takes to try and figure out where you want to go and like just sitting there waiting for that one eagle photo or a pelican photo or an owl especially those are even harder and the planning and effort it takes to to be able to go do those things and then get that one photo that you've been like hoping to get um takes a lot of effort. Yeah, and I think I've mentioned that on a few of the different shows so far is people don't see that they really don't see the it's kind of that argument that I've been having with some people of I don't think they still see I still think there's a lot of people that don't see photography as an art form and And it really it really truly is on on multiple levels on the fact that art is subjective So what certain people put out um what you put out what I put out uh can be different. um It's it's just interesting to see how what happens in not in front of the camera and not on social media gets lost, I think, a lot of the times. And that's why I try to talk a little bit more about it um because I think folks need to know that, right? They need to know that. Kaila's not going out every day of her life. And even me, who I kind of do this more as a full-time hobby. um Mm-hmm. But even still, like, similar to you, I go on a couple of big trips. I've gotten into guiding now, but like, we don't really... Life isn't as pretty as it looks. Right? I'm still posting content that I got three years ago when I went home to Newfoundland, right? Puffins. If you see a puffin image from me, that's three years old. But we take enough, right? One of these days we're you're going to have to go. ah But it really is, people see the images, but they don't see the work. And I like that you brought that up too about birding, because I was a photographer first. Yeah. Yep. um So it's always funny too how that works in life, right? Photography, ah I assume, I think we'll get into that here in a few minutes just on the whole mental health side of things. um I'm sure you've got a story I noticed just in reading some of your background and how people can be assholes when it comes to talking or looking at someone um who's created the content that you create. I think, you know, like how do you balance sharing beauty, sharing these images that we go out to capture um without feeling like you're performing your life? That's a good question. think like, because even if I wasn't taking pictures at this point in my life, I would be sad if I wasn't, but even if I wasn't taking pictures, I would still want to be doing the things that I go out and do. So like I would still want to be taking Northern Lights photos. I would still want to go hiking and camping and um chasing sunrises and specifically just going out and setting up my hammock and reading a book in nature while and stuff like that. I think and I try to be as authentic as I can online but I think like from the stuff I post online and like if people meet me in real life they're it's not going to be like a total 180 or a surprise be like whoa like you're totally different online or you're totally different in person. And so I think I always just want to show up as my authentic self whether it's in real life or online and not be afraid to talk about some of the hard things that happen in life um or even like online bullying or things like that. I do understand, especially like either being performative or performing online and wanting to make sure that you're always 100 % perfect with what you post. Like I don't think, I think if you're trying to be 100 % perfect all the time, you're doing a disservice to yourself and other people because nobody's ever perfect, whether it's a photo edited perfectly or a reel posted or a story that you're posting and talking about someone. Yeah. people, like we're not perfect. far too often, I think that's what a lot of folks tend to do is they show the good. And that's where I love that you have that take because I think I hope that I am the person people see online. I'm probably... I'm probably more aggressive online than I am in person just simply because, um yeah, it's an avenue to showcase your work. But I think it's also an avenue to showcase authenticity, like you said, right? Your authentic self. um Someone like me who's looking to build a business, someone like you who maybe is wanting to go that route, but right now is more of a hobby. um I think neither of those matter. I think far too often we, it's an ongoing fight to fight the system, right? Fight the algorithms, fight the burnout, fight the pressure to always be inspired. I've got to, you know, and I struggle with it on the daily, which is... for me, something people don't get to see behind the camera or behind the uh social media. Like the constant battle and struggle of, am I good enough? Is this good enough? um While still putting out authentic stuff that shows, uh I like doing the posts every now and then, right where it's like, something's completely out of focus. And it's like, yep, happens to all of us. We are not perfect. um But at the same time, I think for me, where I get more vulnerable is on the mental health side for me. um And openly sharing often, as often as I can. um photography, nature, hiking, traveling, creative outlets are such an important thing that a lot of times we sort of, I don't know if it's we overlook it or don't see it that way, but like have you ever had to step back from, I think I know the answer already, but. Step back from something, whether it's photography, uh work, et cetera, to protect your mental health. Yeah. Luckily, I've never had to deal with extreme cases of like bad mental health where I had depression or anything like that. And I know I'm privileged in that sense, but my last job, I needed to get out of it for a long time because it was affecting everything in my life. It even affecting like my cortisol level. Mm-hmm. Like, and everything and like, I was stressed and worried at work that I was something, I was going to do something wrong or look at something or someone wrong and get fired for that. um And that's a hard thing to deal with for almost two years. um So thankfully, I got this job. I used to work here when I lived. in Yellowknife because I left in 2023 for the job that I was stressed at and my old boss here, she had texted me and said, hey, do you want to come back? And I was like, count me in. I'm coming back. I don't know how long I'll be in Yellowknife for. I have plans and goals for things, but at least I know the people I'm working with. like my I really like my boss, she's great and my coworkers are great and so and I'm not stressed out at work and high cortisol levels can affect your blood sugar crazy enough uh and so after leaving this job I had high A1c levels and now that I've come here and like I'm not stressed anymore because when you have chronic stress it can screw you up right? Yeah. And so now everything is going back down where it's supposed to be, um because I'm not chronically stressed out anymore. Even if every now and then I worry about money, it's not the same as being chronically stressed at work. so thankfully I had my cat when I was there. um And the ease of access to nature where I was down in Southern Alberta was nice. um But yeah, it's role were you, yeah, you would have been shooting then, because you, like you said, you kind of picked up photography back in 2012, right? So what role during those two years did photography play, do you think, in regards to your mental health? big a big role because it if like I I don't need medication for mental health and I fully support people that need it because sometimes you just have those chemical about imbalances in your brain right but for me my therapy was being able to go out I just like whether it was go for a drive and try and find some hawks and birds to photograph on the weekend or go out for sunrise or sunset somewhere. was, I was out, I wouldn't say every single weekend, but at least like 50%, like to 75 % of my weekends, I was not in Medicine Hat. I was somewhere else and stuff or visiting my parents because they live just west of Edmonton. ah So like I was, I was never hanging around in the weekend. and all that stuff. it played a really big role, I think, in helping me not get so stressed where it was like really, really affecting. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's the same for me. I think again, I am the opposite extreme of that where I take meds. don't. I've always been a uh nonbeliever in medication in certain aspects, but over the last decade, I've just kind of said. I'll try anything when it comes to dealing with depression, stress, you know, I can't get into it legally, literally. um But what you're explaining with your past job I'm dealing with right now, ah to extreme extent, and for well over a decade. ah it's if it weren't for and not just that, but I mean, and I've said this, and I'll say it on every single podcast I do, because um it's a conversation. And for me, I dealt with sexual abuse as a kid. I dealt with bullying, I dealt with all kinds of things. And I think I'm a firm believer that talking about it is what creates the difference because far too often like I want to if I get anything out of this podcast and anything out of my career as a photographer. um I hope to normalize using creativity as a coping tool. ah As as something that ah is literally I mean, doctors are now prescribing it right, they prescribe time outside as a as a medicine and and scientifically proven and and like I said earlier, it's I don't even need a scientist to tell me that it makes sense because anytime you're dealing with stress, anger, uh sadness, whatever for me anyways, the second I get out there, it's it just washes away. So I it's kind of that solitude versus loneliness, dark seasons, isolation, creativity as grounding, but not as productivity sometimes. Like, do you ever go out? ah I've just started to kind of do this, but do you ever go out with the full intention? that I am just gonna enjoy nature and I'm gonna shoot whatever I wanna shoot and then when I get back, I'll just delete it. I'm not going out to shoot. I'm just gonna go out and play with my camera but not for any particular reason. Do ever do that? I don't think I actually ever have done that, but I have gone out without my camera and not, and I don't do it often, but I have done it where I'm like, especially depending on which friends I'm with and everything. I'm like, I don't need to bring my camera for this. It'll be fine. If I want to take any quick photos, I'll use my phone. or if I go out, I, I don't worry so much about getting the perfect shot. Thank I just want to take pictures of things and maybe they don't get deleted, but they might just never see the light of day. I might not even edit them in Lightroom on my, on my computer. Right. so like in a sense, kind of, kind of not. Um, and like, I could go out and take pictures and only one. I like out of like 500. Mm-hmm. Yeah. like, because I'm lucky and live in Yellowknife, I'm very picky about when I go out for Northern Lights now. Yeah. Not even cool. We we get we get a warning on on the alert system or whatever. Like the whole flippin southwestern Ontario is like, I'm out. And it's like, these bright lights that are way far away. And I always tell people I'm like, when I when I came to yellow knife, it was August. And my actually was, well, yeah, it was August. July 30 to mid August, but I got to see Northern Lights a couple of nights when I was there. But I always tell folks because it's the ongoing Yellowknife versus Churchill because you all both think that you you're like, where where it happens. ah But I tell people I'm like, until you go north, like to Yellowknife or Churchill, I don't even know if there's anywhere in anywhere else really in Canada that gets it like those two places do. But like, you have not seen Aurora until you've seen Aurora in one of those locations. Like it is absolutely mind bendingly insane. So the fact that you get to just pick and choose which ones are going to go out. ah Politely, you suck. I totally understand, I totally understand. I'll never get tired of the Northern Lights. I love them, they're always cool, but if it's close to a full moon or a full moon, I'm probably not gonna ever go out. Because there's too much light pollution, for me. If it's like a half moon or closer to a new moon, then now we're cooking. Now we're cooking, and I'll go out. That's hilarious. going back for a second, what, what is something that photography has helped you process in life? um And maybe even speak to here, again, speak whatever you want, but speak towards um the Instagram that you created and the the articles that you sent me. um just to kind of research, speak to that aspect of how photography and putting that all together and what that's done for you as a person, but also have you experienced where it's helped other people? Mm-hmm. So like you said in the beginning, uh free-framing the word fat, it's just an adjective or a descriptor, right? Like, I am more than what the scale says in terms of weight, right? Like, there's more to me than what I look like in a number and all that stuff. It also takes away from, cause like a lot of times people like to use fat as like an insult, right? And so in my opinion, it's like, so what? I don't care. I'm bigger than some people. just is what it is, right? I still get out and do stuff. Maybe I'm not as fast as folks, but I still get out and do tons of things outdoors when I can. And so over the years, I was very, I still have my moments, but I was a lot more self-conscious and like I'm still shy but like extra extra more when I was younger and so I started off taking photos back in 2012 when I first moved to Prince George and I never really took pictures of myself because I was I didn't want pictures of myself I didn't like how I looked was very self-conscious and And over the years I was like, well, I want pictures of myself in these cool places that I'm going to. So I'm just going to have to suck it up and figure it out. And then I started following a bunch of people, like not a bunch, but there was quite a few people that I followed from across North America that are also plus size and do cool outdoor activities and post about themselves and doing that. so. They also inspired me and helped me gain more confidence in myself in not worrying about taking up space outside and advocating for things like plus-size technical outdoor clothing, uh more representation for uh plus-size people of all genders and ethnicities outdoors, because that is something that is rarely seen in um, like destination marketing, um, and, and just other things in general on, Instagram. it got better. It got a little okay for a little while. And we kind of slide back and forth from moving ahead a few steps and then back a couple of steps. Um, but I think like when you're trying to reframe how you think about yourself, it takes a lot. It takes a long time. Like this is. I started this journey, um, like probably around like 2015 ish. Um, and for a long time, I was like, well, I'm going to start the Fat Wander Babes account. It's not, I need to post more on it, but I'm going to start it. And because I want to highlight people doing outdoorsy things or traveling that are plus size and and talk about stuff and advocate for that because it's not something that's typically seen very often and right now unfortunately there's a lot of clothing brands that are taking away their extended sizes these days as well right now and so it's still unfortunately needed in this day and age as well and I think When social media really shapes how you experience the world in this day and age, right? And so if you are following accounts that make you feel bad about yourself, whether it's your mental health or physical capabilities or size, don't follow them. Unfollow them and follow people that are more aligned to what you would like to see in yourself. Because I have some awesome friends that I've plus eyes that literally have summited Mount St. Helens and and done like they are raft like river raft guides and things like that and so don't wait that's kind of my philosophy is don't wait until you're a certain size or something happens in your life to go do something that you want to do. We I've been going through old photos because I got like a half a million photos and I need to cull and so that's what I've been doing for two weeks straight is culling like just before I came on here. I was I was culling. I mean like stuff from 2019 and 2020 and I called her down the other day and I'm looking at it and like in 2016 17 we were. The fittest we had ever been since we were in our teenage years. And I mean like rockin rockin bodies like we. were amazing. And then I look at us now and I mean combined, we probably gained well over a hundred pounds between the two of us. um And it's so easy to fall into that trap of. I can't. I can't do this anymore. And there's two things I wanna go back and comment on that you said. um One is size doesn't matter. can, like just watching the things that you've done and other people that I follow as well. You know, I consider myself overweight, but I'm looking at what other people are doing and I'm going. Why do I keep holding myself back because all my heel hurts and this is going to hurt and you make all the excuses to to not do it. um But then the other thing too is. Understanding that. Who you were or what you want to be? um Unfortunately, like you mentioned, a lot of how people define themselves nowadays is based off of Instagram, right, or Facebook. And it's, it's funny that you mentioned it, because for me, not not from a body aspect, but I was following certain photographers, and we just get so angry. I'd be like, how are they getting those shots? Like, why does their stuff look so much better than mine? then for the few, there were a few in there that are also very elitist. I just, I found myself beating myself up. And I finally went like, what the hell am I doing? Unfollowed them all. And it's like, it's not even because it's their fault. It's that. in order for me to grow as a photographer, in order for you to grow as a human being and a photographer, you are what you eat. And I say that in the exact phrase that when you surround yourself with bad people, with bad things, you end up becoming that. And... Instead of doing that, I look at someone like yourself who's gone, you know what, I'm not I'm not going to be defined by a an adjective or a verb. not going to be defined by a number. I'm going to go do the things that I love to do. And the fact that you made the conscious decision to go, but I want photos of me in these rocking amazing places. I got to figure this out. And I wonder, um you know, when you talk about uh the Wanderer Instagram that you created. I wonder if you would agree or you don't have to agree at all, like, do we create those types of things in a moment in time where we need it in order to process or get through whatever it is we're going through in that moment? um and then look back now like you're not posting that much on it anymore and you said you need to go back and post a bit more but like is that sometimes something that we do create something like that in order to process and kind of hold ourselves accountable in that time that we're going through the mud. um Do you think that had anything to do with creating that is like, I'm going to create this because if I create this, it's got to, it's going to hold me accountable to just get out there. And also at the same time, hopefully draw other people in that may be sitting on the couch because they think the number is too high. They think that they're, they're not able to get out there and go do these things. And I want them to see that there's another person out here who is going through it and I want to create this community. Yeah, I think it's a good combination of both because I created that account in late 2018. And at the time, the body positive movement was uh pretty prominent and pretty big and gaining a bit of momentum. uh then. So I was like, well, I don't see any accounts sharing other people doing stuff. None of the big like reposting accounts at the time, because there were more accounts at that time doing that stuff. And so I was like, I want to create a place where people feel welcome and see themselves reflected in other people that I'm posting on there. So like you said, so that they can also be inspired to, whether it's get outside and go walk in a park in their neighborhood or go kayaking or hike a mountain. right? Or start taking photos and not being afraid to take photos of themselves out in places. It was... and then of course like pandemic happened, things slowed down a lot there. uh And then the algorithm keeps changing and stuff and so it's sort of fallen off the the wagon a little bit. uh But I do want to post more things on there and trying to find people now that hashtags have been limited on Instagram. ah Trying to find people to be able to like repost their photos on there and stuff. It's a little bit harder. And so it's just kind of fallen to the back of my mind a little bit. But it... uh Well, it's one of those things where like, I think that we go through these seasons in life where we use things both for us and for others. And they come and they go in sort of waves. you know, I always think and I always love when I get to meet people like yourself who are doing things like that and conquering that I don't even know what to call it but like that that fear or that feeling of not being good enough or worthy. And I think it's important because I got uh a message the other day. I share things often and family, friends, other people are like, why do you share that? Like, why do you? And I always go, look, when the day starts where I don't receive at least one message, of someone saying, geez, thanks for thanks for sharing that. And like I shared this thing the other day. I can't even remember which one it was. And I got a message and I turned my phone over to my wife and I was like, see, that's why I do this. Not that she doesn't agree with what I do. mean, but it's it's just one of those like looking at her and going, see all these people that tell me, you know, you're crazy. It's like by posting that it helped one person. It was worth it to me. And I think that's That's the key. When we break it all down, whether it's photography, creative outlets, travel, adventuring, exploring, I think it's finding that healthy relationship with creativity and a balance because I'm guilty of taking it to the other side where I can't go anywhere without my camera. oh to the plan, going to a park and just walking around is almost like I'd probably be more comfortable going in my boxers with my camera than I would going without my camera fully clothed. it's it and I can admit that right. I can admit that that is even a problem. It's something that I've started to kind of really focus in on is is you can also take it. to the further extreme when you are using it as a coping mechanism. And so I know we're coming up on an hour and I think there's a few more things I wanna quickly get to, what does a, kind of what I was just saying, I guess, like what is a healthy relationship with creativity look like to you now versus 2012 or 2018? um And, and what are some things that maybe you're you either already did learn to let go of? I think we can all agree that you didn't want to take pictures of yourself. Now you do. I think that's one thing you learn to let go of. like, what is a healthy relationship with creativity looks like to you now? And what are you learning to let go of? I think a healthy relationship to creativity and photography that I'm um believe in is I really like to um put myself in like get outside of my comfort zone, you know, I and take pictures of things that I normally wouldn't take pictures of because I'm like, I'm not interested or I don't like that or it's not something like As an example, I don't do street photography. I don't know if I will, but just as an example, would be like me going out to try and do street photography. Not very good location for Yellowknife and street photography, I'll tell you that much. uh We've got one main street. And so, that kind of thing. I'm good at portrait photography, but I don't do it very often. Mm-hmm. this summer I want to get more creative with taking portraits and like couples photos and like headshots of people and things like that, because it's something that has interested me, but I've just never been as inspired to try and start doing it. Whereas, and so like that's kind of a goal and idea to kind of keep creative. And then things that I'm letting go is really just trying not to be. so picky about things. Like I'm going to be picky about Northern Lights, but like so picky about certain things and how I take pictures. A lot of the stuff I take photos of, it's all in uh vertical usually. And so I'm trying to take more like landscape oriented photos and stuff. And like, I have to remind myself, because I'm so used to shooting for things to get posted on Instagram. Yeah. then I'm like, well, I want more pictures of like landscape orientation photos. so whenever I go out trying to let go of like, has to be a vertical type of thing. It's not easy. You know, it's funny because I'm kind of the opposite in a sense where I always take things in landscape. And then I get to social media and I'm like, dang it. Like I don't but what I have learned to do now, and this might be something for you, but I've learned now that if there's something that I think I might want to share on social media, but I also want like the broader picture of it. I'll shoot, I'll take I'll let's say it's a portrait of a of a puffin. Right? I go in on the puffin and I go, okay, that's what I want to show in social media. And I'll, I'll zoom back out and I'll get the whole picture. And then I do it in a way that I, when I go into Lightroom I'm able to create that portrait if I want it. But I have the, I have the, the environmental shot showing the subject, whether it's a person or a puffin or uh whatever it is. um But it's funny because it really, it really. It is, I still struggle when I'm recording, like especially video stuff. I'm like, everything is portrait mode for social media. But if you do portrait mode, well now you can't share it to YouTube. I mean, you can, it'll be a short. like, so now I've got like three cameras going and one's doing vertical and one's doing horizontal and one's, and it's like, it's funny because, even as I'm saying this, even as we're talking right now about it. That's pretty frigged up that that our lives literally are based around orientation of shooting because of social media. And it's like, dang it, like, but it's kind of like the algorithms, right? Like, there's not a lot you can do. And especially if you're really wanting Like you've got a pretty big following on social media and like. whether you want it or you don't, think there's, back to the healthy relationship with creativity, I think there's finding that balance where it's like, okay, I got 10,000 followers, I do want this, I do want this to become more than what it is. So I need to be cognizant and aware of the fact that. It is kind of a job and I need to do certain things. I need to produce certain quality. I need to do specific reels and images and whatnot. finding the moments to go, not now. Not right now. I'm gonna take a break. I'm not gonna care about the orientation of this. dang shot because of social media. When I'm staring at a polar bear or when I'm staring at Northern lights that are beyond imagination, every now and then I need to just be in the moment. It's funny, I use this story. The solar eclipse when it came through in 24. I did two years of research on how to shoot it. where it was gonna be, all that stuff. So we left early, early morning, went two hours south of here to Erieau Beach. I had ah my canvas tent set up that has like all of, it's my business one that I take to vendor shows and whatnot. And I had that set up. I had three or four cameras set up. I had three or four different lenses set up and. we had I think about three and a half, around three and a half minutes of the solar eclipse. And when it hit, I was like. It's all over the place. And I hear this, Shaun Shaun, Shaun. And I look over and my wife's looking at me and she's like, look up. And like it was her, it was her just kind of grabbing my attention and going, what are you doing? This is like a once in a lifetime thing. And you're not even taking a second to enjoy it. And so I kind of was like, dang it, you're right. And so I just stopped. And I looked up and I counted to like 10 or 15 seconds and just enjoyed it because it is so easy because all I was consumed about my whole being that morning that day was getting the diamond, getting the total eclipse, getting all of the shots. And I still missed half of them. It doesn't matter what you do. Like it did not matter. I still miss half of them. But the point is the healthy relationship with creativity. Creativity and photography are hand in hand with mental health. I think it's done a lot for you. I know it's done a lot for me. But it is so easy to lose oneself in the grand scheme of it all. And I think that is important and it's always good. know, I know. It's true, but it's always good to talk to other people and hear them say the exact same thing, right? So yeah, it's, I think when it comes down to it, I will tell you personally, just meeting you, just following your social media. um I am inspired by you and others like you who It hasn't been easy, right? I'm sure you face a lot of bullshit online and I'm sorry that you have to go through that because I think it's ridiculous. But at the same time, I think... Having gone through what you've gone through, making the decisions that you've made, doing the things that you're doing, um it makes a difference. And it's part of the grander picture, the bigger picture of what we need in this world. We look south of us, we see what's going on. um I think it's those individual unique voices that are going to lead the charge and change. um Seeing the body shaming, seeing the bullying, seeing all of those different things and how creative outlet photography, hiking, nature, outdoors, adventure, how these are all things that can help us get through these hard times and We're never really fully through, but when we kind of get to the other side, then be able to use those aspects to then help others and give them a hand up or sometimes not even know that we're inspiring other people. And I love that for you. I love that for kind of what you stand for and what you're all about. that's one of the biggest reasons I wanted to. connect on a podcast with you and just learn more about you and I'm sure you'll be back and we'll get deeper into other things. I am really grateful to have spent the last hour getting to know you a bit more and learning a little bit further below the surface. um I think before we go, um I always like to do kind of this rapid fire question and answer period if you're game. uh I start out soft and then I get to the hard hitting ones and then we can wrap it up. um We'll start easy though, sunrise or sunset? on rise. One word to describe Yellowknife in winter. refreshing. I like that. I like that. That's actually a good one. um Coffee, tea, or whatever keeps you warm. Tea or hot chocolate, depending on what's going on. I like it. I like every now and then I'll take the kids love hot chocolate, and they'll make a hot chocolate every now and then I'll be like, yeah, toss me some hot chocolate with my coffee, please. uh Most overrated photo trend right now. I would say, uh, like, mountains like just there's so many mountains man that's my thing that's all i can think of it's just mountains and like i don't care i love mountains but like you ever seen the badlands come on Yeah, it's funny. You're not you're not I haven't actually and I would love to I have seen the mountains, but I would love to see the badlands Good point. Good point. City life or cabin in the woods life. Cabin in the Woods every time. I am with you 100%. Has photography ever pulled you out of a dark head space? relatively dark with my stressful uh job and everything and it helped a lot. What's one thing living close to nature has taught you about yourself? getting deep. I am very much not one of the people that likes to go do like... crazy strenuous activities like I don't want to running. I don't want to do cross-country skiing very much, but I will do slow nature adventures. Mm hmm. If someone picked up a camera during a hard season in their life, what might they discover that surprised you? that learning something new um helps you focus on that instead of what's going on in your life. Mm, I like that. That's a, yeah, that hits for me too. That's a good one. Cause you do, you, you, I'm even learning it now. You, kind of mentioned this summer, right? You want to focus on certain aspects and I'm in that kind of similar head space right now of trying, well, this is one of them doing a podcast, right? Uh, it's, it's uncomfortable talking to people, my mind spins even in the hour we've been together, right? My mind spins is, is this good? Is this making sense? Does this you know, you, but it, it, really is what stretches you is when you get out of that comfort zone. I love that. um What part of your mental health do you protect the most now? My peace. I like it. I'm gonna take that one a step further unscripted by the way. What do you do to protect your peace? So, I've been single my whole life. ah And so like, I very much know what I want and what I like. And so like, my piece is living by myself, ah having my cat, not taking shit from anyone, ah letting things go when it's no point in worrying about something, uh and just... in general not like dealing with stuff that annoys the hell out of me like I I just can't I can't be bothered to be like annoyed with with the petty small things and like why when I see people getting upset about certain things like why is this why is this upsetting you just Let it go, man. Yeah. You're talking to me right now. Hahaha! I am at something I don't know. That's a that's a whole other podcast, I think, because I think it's one of those things where like I look at my, always say like my wife and my dad, can just let things go. And I'm like, No, no, I can't. But it's it's it's that. just been in therapy the last however many years, probably seven or eight now and understanding like I'm very black and white. There is gray and you can exist in the gray and I think that's the I think that's the part for me that photography has done is is allowing me to kind of paint outside the normal lines of life and and operate sometimes in the gray. um But yeah, it's It's amazing and I think nature and photography and mental health are so intertwined. That's what this show is all about, um is photography, creativity and mental health. And they're all important things. They are and I think that they're very intertwined and you can switch out photography with painting, with music, with writing, with any of those creative aspects. um But honestly, it's about learning how to see things more clearly and what can happen when we do. And I think that's the, I think that's A good spot to kind of wrap the show up right there is. Take time to see. Take time to process. I don't know for yourself, what's kind of, for anyone listening, what would you kind of, what would be your last remarks to say kind of everything we've talked about, what would you want to leave folks with? Kayla Walton. Big responsibility here. um I would say like a combination of things that there is no shame in going and getting help if you need help for your mental health and having to take medication, but there's also a great um importance of being able to get out in nature and it doesn't matter if you're going out to take photos or if you're just going to sit and read a book beside a creek. listening to the sounds of nature, I'm pretty sure it's been proven that it helps to relax stress that's going on in your life and help you refocus. And those things I think are really important. knowing that you don't have to wait for something in your life to happen. Your life is happening now. And so don't wait and get outside and do things that you either love doing, used to love doing, do it again or if you're interested in trying whether it's picking up a camera, take photos with your phone to start, uh go kayaking, go on a hike, just get out and do it and don't worry about what the naysayers say. I love it. I love it. Kaila Walton folks. I am so stoked that we got to hang out for the past hour and a bit. And I am grateful for your time. I'm grateful for your sharing and to all of those clothing companies, like get your act in order. you know, I don't understand in today's world, but again, that's a whole nother podcast. I appreciate what you do. I appreciate what you stand for. um I always kind of finish with this as well. Where can folks find Kaila? They can find me on social media, Instagram under Kaila Walton, K-A-I-L-A. ah You'll find me there, same as on TikTok. ah My friend and I are hosting a retreat this September in the Yukon, September 10th to 13th. You can find information about that on my profile on Instagram if you're interested in coming. It's a very inclusive trip. People of all sizes, ages, everything is welcome. We're not doing anything crazy. There's a sauna at this place. You can choose to come on hikes with us that are like easy half-day hikes or just hang out in the lodge and read a book and relax. And I'll be showing and teaching Northern Lights photos, taking pictures of everybody if they want them, and just a jolly good old time in one of my favorite places. That's awesome. It's definitely on my list. Yukon is... Yukon and none of it. That's all I've got left. I've been east to west and I've got those two and I think those are going to be probably outside of Newfoundland. My two favorite, I think, will be those. I will on the episode ah when it drops, will have all of... For the listeners and those watching, I will have Kayla's information links. ah and some details about it. And I think you sent me some, but we'll make sure that you get me the details for ah the trip. And I think that's it, folks. I think we're gonna sign off. And again, thanks, Kaila for dropping by ah from the lovely, warm, and beautiful Yellowknife Northwest Territories. where you almost froze to death the other day. We didn't share that story, but check out her socials and you'll learn all about it. So stay safe everybody and we'll chat soon and Kaila you and I will chat for sure again and we'll get you back on when we can. Amazing.