The Quiet War

For years, I thought the biggest battles facing our country were political. Left versus right. Conservative versus liberal. But the more I stepped back, the more I realized we've been distracted from something much bigger.

In this episode, I share why I deleted almost everything from my personal social media, why I believe privacy has become one of our most valuable assets, and why our attention (not our money) has become the most valuable thing companies, politicians, and algorithms are fighting over.

If we've normalized constant distraction, endless scrolling, public validation, and giving strangers access to every part of our lives…what have we quietly given away?

I hope this conversation makes you stop, think, and maybe see the world a little differently.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Every generation believes that it's living through the greatest battle of its time. Some have fought wars, some have fought for civil rights, and some have fought against tyranny. But today we're being told that our greatest battles are political. Republican versus Democrat, conservatives versus liberals, left versus right. Every day we're told to pick a side and join the fight. But what if we've been looking in the completely wrong direction? What if the greatest battle of our generation isn't being fought in Washington? What if it's hap- what if it isn't happening at the voting booth or on cable news? What if it's happening every single day inside our homes, inside our pockets, and inside our minds? Because I don't think that we're living through just a political crisis. I think we're living through a human crisis. I think that we've entered the world that is slowly rewiring human nature itself. A world that rewards distraction over attention, convenience over competence, performance over authenticity, and consumption over creation. A world where our attention has become one of the most valuable resources on earth and everyone wants a piece of it. The scary part is how willingly we hand it over. On today's episode, I'm not talking about blaming one political party or one company. It's about a much bigger question. It's about what kind of human beings are we becoming? Because if we don't ask this question now, I don't want to think where we'll be 20 years down the road. So welcome back to Melissa Unfiltered. Everybody watched out because the bomb is lit. I got that. Alright, you guys. So before we dive into the topic today, I do want to talk about a comment from the last episode where I discussed that video that went viral and why we should be caring about more important things. And a lot of you completely agree. Um, nothing against anyone in the video. It was just like, why, why is this happening? And um this woman wrote, Yeah, it's so weird that no one really cares about this anymore, referring to the Epstein files. And I was like, Yeah, completely unfathomable to me. I don't understand. I mean, I know there are um podcasters out there still talking about it and not letting it go. I really appreciate that. I think um, you know, another comment, people said prayers for them for the children, they should be held account accountable. And you know what? In the end, they will be held accountable, they'll be held accountable to God um when they appear before him in judgment day. And I do think another commenter said, because they have the money, of course, people in power with the money. So thank you all for your comments. Keep them coming. It looks like uh the reels are still striking a chord with some people on that episode. So diving into today and what I wanted to talk about, I've actually been working on some form of this episode for quite some time. And I it kind of dives a little bit into the last episode, like we're not mad enough about the right things. And I've rewritten it several times and just trying to not be the same voice that other people, you know, already have out there talking about um everything we've been through, you know, with social media and the pandemic, and then you know, Epstein Files, and then Charlie Kirk getting assassinated in front of everyone. And I'm just so angry about all of this, the lies that we're constantly being told on social media, it's hard to know who to believe, and we're just aimlessly just scrolling and giving all of our attention and time away, and it drives me a little nuts. I mean, this is bigger than social media though. This is really about human nature. And in preparing for this episode, like I said, I've been working on it for weeks. I did something. I went to my personal social media page, um, my personal Instagram account, and I deleted almost everything on my account. I think I have six pictures left, and none of them show my kids' faces. And it's really more just so that anyone who goes to this podcast can see, like, yeah, I'm a real person and I do have a family. Um, I think that's helpful for people to relate to me. I really want to delete all the photos. I may do that. I don't know. I'm just I don't know. It's not like I'm not angry at anyone. I don't suddenly hate social media, not at all. I think it's a fantastic tool when used um properly. Um, but I just feel like something that I realized was privacy is our biggest asset right now. I mean, it's so valuable. And I think everyone forgot that, especially me, because I've always been an open book. I always say that it's not about like me not being an open book. I'm willing to have those conversations and share about my life. Um, if you've been listening to my podcast, you know this. I share about, you know, my life, um, abuse I've been through, foster care, parenting, um, our fertility struggles, and I will always continue to share about that. It's more so like, you know, the day-to-day living that I just feel like is so valuable to keep personal. And, you know, I don't think authenticity and accessibility are the same thing. And I don't think everyone should have the right to accessibility. And somewhere we decided, somewhere along the way, that every single person has a right to have access to our life, which is crazy. I mean, who told us this? Did the algorithm tell us this? Because we're constantly seeing other people share every minute of their life. So we're like, okay, you know, someone posted this reel about this, I want to do it, it looks fun. I mean, how did this all become so normal? I I don't know how we got here. And I'm started thinking, like, why do strangers need to know what I'm eating for dinner? Or, you know, the funny things my husband and I say to each other? Um, why do they need to know what we're doing every weekend? I mean, literally anyone can access this. And I know some of you say, well, my accounts are private, so I don't have to worry about that. But how many people are really following you? Because even the people who I know who have private accounts have thousands of people following them. I mean, does everyone really need to know every vacation and birthday and milestone and every random Tuesday? Like, are we making things meaningful anymore? Um, I don't know. So I stopped. I stopped posting. I used to, if you know you've been following me, I didn't have like a huge following before this podcast, but almost 2,000 followers on Instagram. And there was a point where, yes, um, I'm like, okay, we're homeschooling. I've seen all these other parents out there monetizing their accounts. Like, why not? Why not um, you know, post reels of what my kids are up to and try and get some attention for that and maybe monetize that and make some money. Like, I understand why people are doing this. I'm not trying to um put everyone down. In fact, I probably should have done this a long time ago when I was posting my kids on social. The reason I was posting them is because when they were in foster care, I wasn't allowed to share their faces, and it felt like someone else was telling me what I'm allowed to do. So as soon as I could share their faces, once they're adopted, I was like, yes, the whole world needs to see how adorable my kids are and like to bring awareness to foster care and adoption and how great it is, and like look at my family, you know, I wanted to be that example, but I found there's still ways to do that. And so I think a year ago, I was posting uh content about homeschooling and you know getting your kids to work, and I posted a video of my son who was like nine at the time. He was not actively like we had a roto-tiller that we rented for our garden, and my husband just for a minute let him like hold on to it, and the thing was like bouncing him around. We were right there, we were being careful. It got over like a million views almost overnight, and so many people were like, Good for you, but there was some major haters who were like, I'm calling CPS, you're a terrible parent, and it really was like, Oh my gosh, I just opened my child up to strangers, like over a million people to comment about him and what he's doing, and it was really scary, and so I was like, not because I was worried anyone's gonna, I don't, nothing was gonna happen. It was just like, I don't know, it felt like invasion of privacy, but I gave them the right to this, and so then I really pulled back from sharing my kids, and then I um started hearing other podcasts where you know Sean Ryan had on people talking about um child sexual abuse material that they're pulling your kids' faces off of, and then even adults like people are getting blackmailed and they're using images of you to create deep fake AI images and make it look like you're doing things you're not doing or places you're not at. And so slowly, just over time, I pulled back, pulled back, pulled back, and I really don't can't pinpoint the moment, but just one night thinking about all this and this episode, I'm like, that's it. Like, I went to my social media and it was actually like for a second, I was like, oh no, these pictures are so cute. And then I'm like, what are you doing, Melissa? Like, why is it important to you to have these photos out there for who? Anyone in my family or my friends who wants those photos, I send them to them. And then it encourages deeper conversations. I mean, we have an awesome little family chat going now with my sister who just had a baby, where I get to see photos of my nephew every day, and it's awesome. And I send photos to my sisters, any of my friends, I'll send updates. I think it's really causing me to be more present and connect more with people that I actually want to connect with, not some randos on the internet who decided to follow me because they like my content. Um, so I stopped posting stories, I stopped posting, you know, everyday life. Anything I post now is related to this podcast and related to using social media as a tool to help bring awareness to different issues that I want to make a difference in. And I actually love it. Like I'm so it's so nice. Like we go out um on the lake sometimes on the weekends, and I'm like, oh, I'm not posting a photo. I'm not posting us on the lake. Like nobody cares. Like people would scroll through and look, but those people don't like the photo, they don't comment on the photo. Only like my close friends did. So, like, why do those people need access to know what I'm doing? It's just the more I think about it, uh, I I'm having a hard time not thinking that it's weird. And again, this isn't judgment on you. This is just like where I'm evolving to as a human. And I love living my life without having to post anything and knowing that no one knows like where we are or what we're doing, and no one's comparing what we're doing to their life. Like, I think some people do that, even if you're not someone who does that, I don't want anyone to feel bad about their life because of something they saw, like the highlight reel of my life. You know, I've just I've spent years documenting and I'm totally over it, and I don't owe anyone this kind of access, and neither do you. And the funny part is I think like half those people on there, more than half, won't even notice. They won't even notice, they won't even care, they'll just move on to the next person, and that is okay. Like, I'm not wanting anyone to care about this. Like, I don't need one more person mindless scrolling, looking at my life. And I don't know, I'm you know, when was the last time you did something that was incredible that nobody knew about? Like something so cool that you're like, ah, this is just mine. Like, I don't have to tell anyone about this. I think that there is power in that. I think that you know, it's cool to have that because it belongs to you and it belongs to your family, and it wasn't content, it was just your life. I would really challenge any one of you to open up your Instagram or your Facebook or your account, especially if you have a public account or even if you have a private account and just like go through your photos and see if you can delete a bunch of photos. Like see if you can just take them down and not care, especially the ones with a bunch of likes or a bunch of comments. Unless it's like for your business. But if it's literally just you momming living your life and you're like, yay, I have more followers, see if you can do it. Because I feel like there might be a part of you that you're not realizing uh is getting something from this and maybe it's not healthy. So that's just a little, a little challenge that I have. And you know, if you think I'm totally off and you're like, forget you, this is great. We should share every in second of our life. It doesn't matter by all means, keep going. But this isn't about social media, this is about us, this is about human beings. You know, for most of human history, people have lived in small villages and small communities, and you know, you knew your family, you knew your neighbors, you knew your co-workers and your people from church, the people you saw every day. That was your world. But today, you know, before you've eaten breakfast, you know what someone you've never met before had for dinner and like what gala they went to last night. I mean, what really gets me is like someone you went to high school with 20 years ago. You're watching their life on social media. Like you're friends with everyone you went to high school with, and watching their kids who you've never met, like you don't even know their spouse, you didn't go to their wedding, you really never even talk to them in school. Like, there's just like random people, and you're like, oh, look at all that. Like, why do we need this information? Why do I need to know if you remodeled your kitchen? Why do I need to know someone gets divorced who again we like barely know? We're like, oh, what happened? I need to know, I need more details. And you start digging and like finding all this information. Engagements. Oh my gosh, every poor girl getting engaged now feels like it has to be videotaped. They tell their boyfriend, you know, make sure you have a photographer there, make sure you have a videographer there, here's my Pinterest page, here's what I want it to look like. You gotta have this music playing and make sure I'm wearing this outfit. And you better stand this way and look this way at the camera. Like, that is not living. Why do we need all that? You know, I understand wanting to document it for you to have to look at later, but like, why do you need everyone to see this? What are we doing? It's it's staged. I mean, some, you know, we're looking at people, oh, I bought a new car, I boss babed so hard, and good for you. Like, I'm not trying to take away from anyone's accomplishments or achievements, but like, why don't you share those with your family? Kind of my rule of thumb now is like, if I wouldn't take this photo or I wouldn't take this and text it to every single person privately and say, here, look at this. Why would I post it up there for them to look at? Think about that. Like, if you wouldn't go to that person 20 years ago from high school and send them a text, be like, look at my new dog. What do you think? Why do they need to see it? Why do you owe them seeing that new dog or you having a baby? Like, you didn't talk to them anyway. And then, you know, politics. We're posting all about our political opinions. I did it too, super freaking guilty. Like during COVID, I am blowing up. I'm like, don't wear a mask, don't do this, and it turns out I was right. So, you know, but what did I need to be right for? Like, what was so important in that for me? It's really just like the self-reflection. And then when you post your politics, you have people who are like, Oh, I hate you now. We can't be friends. It's so ridiculous. Like, were you even friends? Or people at the gym, you know, we're judging, oh, that workout attire. I can't believe she's wearing that. Why does she have a crop top on? Why are you following? Why are you posting? Like, same. I'm I did it, I posted it, I felt good about myself. I liked, you know, putting it out there. I I'm not trying to judge other people again, self-reflection. But I just, I don't know, living living your lives and trying to have your brain process all this. I I really think that we were never designed for this. I really think our brains are not meant to process all of this information. I think we're supposed to be in real communities. We're supposed to help people. And here's another part that I thought about. Some people's accounts on here, like mine, um, right now, this podcast, are meant to help people bring awareness, um, help inspire change. But what if some of that help? Like, what if some of the accounts, instead of being like, let me show you how to cook this meal in under 10 minutes so you can be a better parent? Like, would you ever go up to the mom who you see struggling at swim practice with her kids and be like, hey, do you need some help? Can I help you? Like, where can I be a good friend to you? Where can I be a good neighbor? Like, I think we've lost that. I don't think anyone's actually helping anyone in person anymore. If you're willing to post this for strangers, why would you not be willing to help someone in real life within your little community? I think that there would be so much value in that rather than just putting yourself on the internet and say, this is to help someone. And in all of this, you know, knowing that we were never meant to see any of this, we were never meant to see what people are doing 24-7. That's not how our brains work. And we wonder why we're all exhausted. We wonder why we're anxious and we constantly compare ourselves to everyone. I mean, the last time that you said, oh, I want this outfit, or I want this thing in my kitchen, or I need this gadget, was it because you actually thought in your head all on your own that you needed it, or because you saw someone on social media or something on social media that said that you needed it? I mean, we are being programmed without even knowing this, and we're allowing it and we're giving access. I'm not talking about an ad that pops up. It's everything's an ad. Everything everyone's doing is essentially an ad because they saw it somewhere and they're trying to keep up and they wanted to do this. I think we're just not meant to consume this much information. And, you know, we should try living in a much simpler life than in this digital world because we are designed by God to be more simple than this. Um, you know, I think knowing all this, the real war isn't left versus right. It isn't rich versus poor, it isn't old versus young. It's, you know, the your data. They're collecting your data. I know we hear it all the time. They're collecting your data, and yes, they are, but it's not just your data that's valuable, it's your attention. This is a war for your attention. I mean, the biggest companies in the world are spending billions of dollars trying to keep you scrolling just one more minute. And they do, they succeed. I catch myself all the time. I'm like, oh my gosh, stop, don't scroll. Like another great thing I heard it was like, don't bring your phone in the bathroom and don't say, ew, that's gross. I know everyone brings their phone in the bathroom. Can you go to the bathroom without bringing your phone in? Really? Can you? It's a question. Like, they just want your attention. Every app that you download on your phone wants to send you notifications. You know, headlines have become dramatic and repetitive. You'll hear the same thing over and over and over, the same headline on every news station. The outrage is spreading like wildfire, like we talked about in last week's episode. Everyone's outraged over the silliest things. No one cares about good news. Everyone wants to be outraged. And these videos, like they keep autoplaying. Why? For your attention. Every little second of your attention has so much value. It is the most valuable thing you have, not your money, your attention, your time. And you're just giving it away. Free will, free will, just giving it away. Here's my attention, my human attention. You know, every company wants more of it, every politician wants more of it, every media outlet wants more of it, every influencer wants your attention. Advertisers, they're not really out to sell products. They want your attention first, and then your attention allows them to get those products sold. And wherever your attention goes, your behavior follows. And your behavior, money follows. Your attention is so valuable. They can't live without it. And, you know, I makes me question like what kind of person is the hardest person to manipulate? Because I feel like we're all just so easy to manipulate. I would say the hardest person to manipulate is someone who can sit quietly with their thoughts, someone who isn't desperate for approval, someone who isn't distracted, someone who reads something and then doesn't react, and who actually goes and does their own research on something, someone who's not emotionally hijacked by every headline. I know I have been, I've, you know, we've all been there. Um, someone who's not validated by strangers, like, why are we seeking validation from strangers on the internet? It's mind boggling. You know, those are the kind of people who are hard to manipulate. And And on the flip side, the easiest person to influence, someone who's distracted, someone who's reactive, someone who's scrolling all day long. I, everywhere I go, I see people just scrolling on their phone. You know, I was standing in line getting ice cream with my son the other day, and this grandma in front of us was just scrolling videos on her phone. The kid was running off somewhere playing, so it's not like she was neglecting the child, but like, can we sit anywhere without scrolling on our phone? They're getting our attention. You know, it makes you feel behind. It makes you feel, oh, I need approval. I'm behind. I can't live in this silence. You know, I need the constant simulation or I need the validation. Like anytime there's a problem, you're posting in a Reddit feed, like, is this, am I the problem? You're in mom's groups on Facebook. I always say Facebook groups are amazing and they are, they can be a great tool for information, but I feel like we're just giving our attention away, needing validation. Am I doing the right thing? Like, we are not capable of figuring things out on our own. And I think this is my conspiracy head, you know, like the way I think sometimes, usually not wrong. I'd love to be wrong. But I really think this was planned. And it feels to me now like stepping out of this like it was intentional. And the worst part is we fell for the trap. We all fell for the trap, you know, convenience it makes things easier. Here's everything online for you. You know, open your AI and ask it every question, it'll be faster. But we really need to start paying attention. And, you know, we're we we need to start protecting our minds. You think about like every night you go to bed and you lock your door, right? I would hope that you lock your door. We don't just leave it open for anyone. Um, you know, you put a password on every account that you have, you protect your kids, you don't just hire a random stranger to babysit your kids, I would hope. You know, you protect your identity, um, you know, every everything in your life you put protections on, right? But our minds, are we protecting our minds? I I don't think we are. Every notification gets in, every breaking news alert gets in, every stranger's opinion gets in. I mean, the best thing is like, don't take advice from people that you wouldn't take their opinion. I think I'm saying that right. I don't know. I it's it made me really stop and think like, where is my joy coming from? My joy should be coming from the Lord. My joy should not be coming from someone liking my photo. And then it makes you think, why did you post that photo? It's just taking it back, you know, protecting your mind. Don't let the outrage in, don't let the advertisement in, don't let the arguments in. You know, imagine if you treated your home the same way and you just left the door open and people could come in and rearrange your furniture and hang out with your kids and eat all your food. It sounds silly to compare the two, but it's really the same. You're letting people in, you're letting them do whatever they want. And for many people, you're letting them into your kids' lives. Everywhere I go, I see a kid with a tablet. You know, the kid starts crying, the mom hands the phone. We've all done it. You know, I'm a parent. It gets hard sometimes, and sometimes you need five minutes, and you're like, okay, fine, you know, you can watch TV. In our house, we don't do screens during the week. I try to keep that up in the summer. But even in preparing for this podcast, you know, I have to get work done and sometimes it's so noisy. And I'm like, here's a screen. Now I try and protect it. I try the best that I can to protect, you know, what they're watching. But we need to protect our children's minds. And if we're setting the example that we're not protecting our minds, you know, how are they gonna feel that they need to protect their minds? What are we example are we setting for them? How much time are you spending in the community with them? Or are you just online? Because I know, again, we've all been guilty of this, me too. But I think it's, you know, us thinking that freedom is unlimited choice. And for me, I'm learning that freedom is not unlimited choice. Um, you know, unlimited information, unlimited access, unlimited entertainment, unlimited convenience. Everything's about convenience. But really, I'm learning that freedom is being able to say no. No, you guys, say no. No means no. Oh no, I don't need to check my phone. No, I don't need to know what everyone else is doing. Like, I don't need to know who the latest celebrity is dating. I don't need to know when Taylor Swift is getting married, it doesn't matter. I say to my kids all the time when they ask something that has nothing to do with them, they're like kind of butting into the conversation, or they want to, you know, they're kind of being like a busybody, I guess you could say. I say to them, knowing this information, if you know this information that you're asking for, is it gonna better your life in any way? Is your life gonna become so much greater because you have this information? And almost all of the time the answer is no, it's not gonna affect my life at all. It doesn't matter. And then that's your answer. And it's not trying to shut them down, but like we don't ask ourselves that question anymore. Like, why do we need to know everything about every celebrity and who they're dating and what they're doing? And like, how many influencers are you following on social media for real? So many influencers. Like, why? What gave them the authority to say, and I'm not putting down influencers, they're making a living. That is not the point of this. But the point is to say you just gave away your attention to someone who you've never met, and you put them on a pedestal to say they know what I need, they're they know what I want. Everything they say and do, like, I gotta follow that. And even if you're not following it, like you're not living that way, you're like, oh, I don't do that. Why scroll it? Why have to look at them? Why? It's I'm really questioning this is a self-reflection for me as well. I'm always asking that. Now there are people I try to say to myself, am I following them because they're teaching me something or making me a better person? Those are the types of people I'm trying to follow. Not that those other people don't deserve to make money and all that, of course. Like, you know, this is just stay focused on this part of the conversation, which is we need to guard our attention. And strangers don't need to validate my happiness, and I don't need to post every moment of my life. And the freest person is not the person with unlimited choices, it's the person who's not controlled, the person who's not controlled by their impulses, the person who has self-control. Self-control is like I tell my kids all the time, self-control, self-control, the most important thing to work on. I struggle with it, everyone struggles with it. But if an algorithm is deciding what you think all day and you don't even realize that that's what's happening, but it is, who's actually the one directing your attention? Because it's not you. And if your attention determines the quality of your life, well, maybe your attention deserves more protecting than anything else. I don't really think that the war right now is political parties. I think that that's an illusion and it was planned this way. It was planned this way on purpose to make us fight with each other, you guys. Like we we have to pay attention to the silent war that's happening and stop being distracted by all the noise. Because the only way that we win is by taking back our attention. So, you know, the biggest rebellion is all we can do, right? Like, let's make this a rebellion, you guys. Who doesn't love being rebellious? I know I do. So I didn't delete my social media because I panicked or anything like that. I deleted it. The photos I deleted because I woke up and I realized something that I couldn't unsee, and I realized I had willingly handed a blueprint to my entire life to freaking strangers. Okay. Like you're handing a blueprint. It is so easy. You know, there's a I I sometimes like to play a game, like, how easy is it to figure out information about someone to remind myself that it's easy for someone to do this to me. So there's a social media uh person who posts a lot of very informative content um about just government stuff, and she was really informative during COVID, and I've been following her for a long time, and she um is always very secretive, and I was like, I wonder if I could figure out where she lives. Not because I want to stalk her, nothing like that, but I wanted to see like how how protected she's being if I could figure it out. Well, she had posted something about her husband once, and I was able to figure out where her husband worked, and then I was able to figure out where they lived, and they said they had just moved and they bought a house, real estate, like it wasn't that hard. Maybe it took me 10 minutes, and I was like, that is scary because I know she's trying so hard to protect herself. And I didn't want to reach out to her and say that because I didn't want her to think I'm some psycho. That was not the point. The point was you think you're being careful and you think you're not sharing anything that people couldn't figure out, but they can. And ultimately, if someone wants to figure out where you are, they can, unless you're like completely off grid. Um, but you know, we really need to be more careful. We don't need to let everyone know where you're going, when you're going, who your kids are, what grade they're in, what sports they play. Even if you block out the name of the school, you guys, it is not that freaking hard to figure this stuff out. And, you know, you're letting people know you're out of town. And even if you're not posting in real time, you're people can figure out, especially with AI now, like what type of person you are. They can put in a few images and a few wordings and content, and they can have your voice down. They can figure out what you would say and how you talk. And, you know, even me doing this, I run the risk of that. But, you know, the craziest part is you volunteered this, I volunteered this, nobody stole this from us, nobody's stealing your information. They might be making up fake stuff about you from your information, but you just willingly gave this away. And so did I. And, you know, I remember my mom always saying, if everyone jumped off the bridge, are you gonna jump off the bridge, Melissa? And I'm like, no, mom, I'm not an idiot. Like, I'm not gonna jump off the bridge into the traffic and die. And she's like, Well, you know, you need to show that more and stop being a follower. Like, let's all stop being followers, you guys, because we are all just a bunch of followers right now. We are all just like following the trends, following the influencers, following everything that we're being sold. I mean, half the people who post their politics and their views, those aren't even really their views. They're being paid. They're being paid by foreign influences, they're being paid by our own government to say these things. You can't even trust anything that you're seeing. Like, shut it all down. Have your own thoughts. Go get out in your community because you know, everyone is just sharing everything. You should be, you should be different. And I think, you know, everyone's letting their phone listen, everyone's accepting the cookies, everyone's giving AI another sentence. Like, we need to stop doing this and ask, is this normal? Because none of this feels completely normal. And I think that we've completely normalized surveillance. You know, we're talking about, oh no, these cameras are being put everywhere, and we're gonna be in a surveillance state. You guys, we gave them the data, like we gave them everything. We're already in a surveillance state, and you don't even realize by accepting everything that you accept on your devices and posting everything that you post, and that's what the algorithms do. You know, they learn us, they learn how to influence you, they learn how to keep you scrolling, they learn how to keep you angry, they learn how to keep you buying, they learn how to keep you divided, and they learn how to keep you addicted. And, you know, most people think that rebellion looks loud, but this rebellion is really quiet. And I think it's something that we should all do together. So put your phone down, refuse to post your entire child's life online. You know, they didn't get a say in that. Why do you why do you get to do that? Why do you get to post their life online? Have conversations that aren't recorded, get out in your community, raise kids who don't believe that they exist for an audience. That is so crazy. Like your kids don't deserve that. And the most radical thing that you can do, that I believe you can do in 2026, is stop feeding the machine, stop feeding the algorithm. Because every single day we are teaching AI who we are, but we don't have to. Privacy is not about being paranoid, that's not the point. It's about setting healthy boundaries. I know everyone loves to talk about healthy boundaries, but I think it's really time that we started setting those and treating our personal lives like they're actually worth protecting. So, you know, no one took this from us. We gave it away. One selfie, one tag, one location at a time, one click at a time, but we don't have to anymore. And I really challenge you to put your phone down and just be more present. Let me know what you guys think about today's episode. I know it's gonna get a lot of people upset and hopefully start some meaningful conversations and wake some of you up that never thought of it this way because I know I just started thinking this way, and it's all new to me. And you don't have to think like me, that's not the point. But I think there's importance in just living our lives quietly without anyone knowing. So thank you again for listening and tune in on Tuesdays for Melissa Unfiltered. Bye you guys. Melissa Unfiltered is a Delac Media Group production.