Episode 3 - Serving Leads: Biblical Leadership At Home

What if leadership at home looked less like control and more like washing feet? We set out to redefine biblical male leadership through Jesus’ own pattern of service in Mark 10, then trace how that posture reshapes fatherhood, marriage, and everyday life. From hard childhood memories of domineering men to stories of calm, faithful mentors, we map the practical traits that form a man who builds, protects, and blesses.

Fatherhood takes centre stage with Proverbs 22:6 and the fruit of the Spirit guiding how we teach, correct, and live what we want our kids to imitate. We talk frankly about discipline done in love, the cost of setting boundaries around tech and smartphones, and why Deuteronomy 6 calls us to weave Scripture into car rides, bedtimes, and mealtimes. Testimony matters too; telling our kids how God met us turns faith from an idea into a path they can walk.

Marriage leadership steps into Ephesians 5 and 1 Peter 3, where headship looks like sacrifice, patience, and honour. We open up about seasons of struggle, how drawing close to Jesus reorders the heart, and how 1 Corinthians 7 frames intimacy as mutual care that protects the union. Provision isn’t just paycheques; 1 Timothy 5:8 ties it to integrity, stewardship, and reliability. For single men, singleness is purpose-rich, not second-tier, with Matthew 5–7 charting a life of purity, mercy, and enemy love.

If you’ve wondered how to be above reproach at home and credible in the community, 1 Timothy 3 offers a clear standard: self-control, hospitality, gentleness, and a well-led household. We close with Micah 6:8 as the daily posture—do justice, love kindness, walk humbly. Subscribe, share this with a brother who needs it, and leave a review so more men can find a hopeful path to Christlike leadership. What’s one step you’ll take to lead by serving this week?

Transcript

Framing Biblical Leadership

SPEAKER_05 0:22

Welcome to episode three of the Brotherhood Podcast. We are going to talk about biblical male leadership in the home. We actually got this question from a listener. I did myself anyway. So the question was, what does it mean to lead your family? And the conversation kind of went, like, is it just spiritual or is it out in the world as well? And I told the guy, I think it's connected, honestly. Like we need to be, I think what we need to do is lead spiritually, but then that also bleeds out into how we lead in the world as well, and how we prepare our children to be out in the world. So what I would add to that as well is like what does it even look like to be a leader in the home as a husband and as a father for sure, but just in general as a Christian man in today's world. So we know there's there's definitely a contrast between worldly leadership and biblical leadership. You can see that right away. So some examples of worldly leadership. You see some leaders out there that are out for control, they're out for dominance, they want to dominate over other people and control other people versus biblical leadership, which is actually through service and love and having responsibility over the people that you're leading. So in with all that, uh I just want to open our uh episode here with a verse, and it'll kinda um it'll kind of encompass everything that we'll talk about, um, but we'll kind of go all over the place here. I know that it's uh anytime that we're uh preparing for these episodes, we end up going all sorts of different directions, and it's hard to know when to stop. And I know Colton can attest to this as well.

SPEAKER_02 2:43

But uh there's just so many little uh rabbit trails that are so easy to go down. There's uh yeah, every topic I think we've touched on so far, we could probably have done ten episodes on, so it's it's hard to get just one definitive trail going on one point for sure.

Worldly Power vs Christlike Service

SPEAKER_05 3:03

Right. I agree. So um to open our episode up here, I just want to read Mark ten forty two to forty-five, and that says so Jesus called them together and said, You know that the rulers in this world lord it over their people, and officials flaunt their authority over those under them, but among you it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant. Um whoever wants to be first among you must be the slave of everyone else. For even the Son of Man came not to be served, but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many. So yeah, that kinda the what did he say here? The uh the rulers of the world lord over their people, officials flaunt their authority. Um it was true back then, it's true now. And um I don't know Colton, do you have any examples of good or bad uh male leadership in your life? I have a couple.

Personal Models Of Good And Bad Leadership

SPEAKER_02 4:28

Oh man, yeah, that's a good question. Um I I think I would start off by saying uh just you bringing up that verse, it it makes me think of Jesus when, and I mean, obviously, he is the ultimate example to follow when it comes to leadership, right? I mean, he laid it out perfectly for us to follow, but it reminds me specifically, and I don't know exactly where it's found in the Bible, but where Jesus is actually down washing his disciples' feet. Right. I I don't know that just popped in my head, so I wanted to talk about that a little bit, where you know, Jesus was was the ultimate leader. He showed us what it meant to lead people, to love people. And uh, you know, where you had talked about your verse there says um that if we're gonna be leaders, that we are also servants, you know, and Jesus, he he served his disciples, right? He's uh a perfect example. Um, right now in my life, man, I've I don't even know what to say to that one. I I would say, I mean, I would say there's a couple people that I have looked up to for sure, um, in my life. And recently, you know, I've I've heard things going on where I I've kind of I don't really look up to them as as a male leader anymore. Um and the thing is we're uh how would I say this?

SPEAKER_05 6:18

Sorry, I kind of blindsided you. No, no, that's okay. Um I should have warned you. I forgot I forgot to mention that uh I was gonna kind of talk about that.

SPEAKER_01 6:29

Hey, you know what? It's good. This is where uh where our genuinity comes out.

SPEAKER_02 6:35

Right, right. Um no, honestly, it you know, I I think of one example in particular. Uh I I used to look up to this guy a lot, and like I was saying, I I heard some things, and some things have gone on this past little while where um I I wouldn't look up to him in the way that I used to. Right? And um it's not that he's a bad person or anything, it's just it's not somebody that I would want to uh that I want to look like, that I want to act like, I would want to be different.

SPEAKER_05 7:17

Someone not someone you want to model your life after at this point.

SPEAKER_02 7:22

Yeah, absolutely. And uh this I don't think this guy is a Christian, right? I I mean that's not for me to say, but I've from what I've seen, I I don't think that's the case. Um, but I mean that way, yeah. I've like I say, I used to look up to him a lot, and it's just the way he's living his life, I I wouldn't want to be like that at all, right? I mean, there's uh guys in my church too that I really look up to. I look for uh advice. I actually I got asked a question this week about one of the pod or sorry, one of the episodes that we went over. And uh it's something I hadn't thought about before, so I actually I went to one of our uh I believe he's involved in youth and stuff at church, um used to be a youth leader. So I went to him and I asked him, I said, hey, like I got asked this question. I want to make sure that this is this is clear. And um I just I really I really admire him. I always have. He's very he's very passionate about when he speaks about God, when he speaks about Christianity. Uh, and I really admire that, right? I I think something that men in this culture are missing is emotions, right? We try to bury them. And with this guy in particular, you know, I've seen him break down preaching a sermon. And I I think that is incredible. I think that's how all men should be. And so, you know, for me, that that's somebody that I look up to, somebody that I want to look like, you know. I I think he's uh a good example of what a Christian man should be in that sense, right? Yeah, that's good. I can reverse that too and ask you, I guess, as well.

SPEAKER_01 9:24

Right?

SPEAKER_02 9:24

The same thing to say, somebody in your life that's uh really influential, somebody that you admire as a as a leader.

SPEAKER_05 9:33

Yeah, we'll uh we'll start with the bad for me. So um growing up, I saw a lot of that, just being growing up in a broken home, and um like for like the one thing I think of is like the guys that um would date my mom. They were like some of them were good, but seemed like lots of them were not, like, and a few of them really stick out in my mind, and um they were aggressive and loud and violent and controlling and domineering, those are characteristics of not godly men, and you definitely could tell that. Yeah, you know, um, some of these guys I don't know if any of the ladies listening have dealt with any men like that, but they you know, they act they treat you nice right at the beginning, uh, you know, treat you like princess, whatever, do anything for you, and then as soon as they have their grip on you, and they're I I mean, for in my situation, like my mom um was not a believer really, so they would live together, and so it almost seemed like once things got to that point, those guys would just kind of turn into monsters, basically, some of them. I mean, some of them were okay, and some of them were kind of cool and fun to hang out with, but there's a couple in my mind that really uh stick out and they were violent and would threaten like with a knife and like throw the phone against the wall, and like the phone had like I remember one time a guy like threw the phone and it like exploded against the wall, and I think my mom was gonna call cops or something like that. But anyway, yeah, so my childhood was crazy. But oh, you know what?

SPEAKER_01 11:34

Maybe that's what it took to get you here, though, right? Right, that's probably part of it.

Fathers Who Form: Example, Fruit, Discipline

SPEAKER_05 11:38

Yeah, yeah, God allows us to go through things like that because um I think they strengthen us and and can bring us closer to him if we allow it. So um but on the good side of things, uh, like I talked about in my testimony, there was the youth pastor, right, that uh spent a lot of time with me. He was very intentional, and uh he uh you know definitely Christ-like, and kind of a servant, you know, picking uh picking me up for church and um and doing the early morning band practices and stuff like that. So someone modeling that, that's definitely good, and uh something that I kind of aspire to be like, and um also our wife's papa, right? He is a godly man as far as I'm concerned, and our father-in-law too, I definitely look to look look up to in a spiritual sense, too. Um like as a as a dad, like as a father, and um, and also as a spiritual, like a good spiritual, godly man influence on my life. He's made a difference for sure. And uh, so some characteristics of those guys, like I said, intentional, calm, godly, um, grounded in their faith, um, and faithful to their spouse and to the Lord. So yeah, that's what I would say for the good side of things. Um, being a good influence as a father and a father-in-law, a father figure can lead us into our next section talking about leading as a father.

SPEAKER_02 13:25

Yeah, I had a verse I wanted to share on that one. Uh, so to start it off, um, Proverbs 22, verse 6, and it says, start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old, they will not turn from it. Right? So, as leaders, we are to lead our children um in the way they should go. What that means, we're gonna kind of go over a little bit what we mean by that. We're gonna have a few verses and stuff that will help to I guess explain that a little more in depth. Um one thing I want to say is as kids, they are always watching their parents. So my oldest boy now, he's six years old, and uh I find he likes to listen into the adult conversations now. You know, I remember being that little and trying to hear what mom and dad say. And not only that, but like he pays attention to the little details that you don't think he notices, right? I'll come home from work one day, and my wife, my wife will say to me, um, you know, you need to stop doing this or that because now our our oldest boy is doing the same thing, and I'm like, oh, oh man, I he's watching. Okay, I actually need to check my heart and I need to I need to fix this, right? And so I I want to just tell you all that your kids are watching, right? Even when you think you're not or they're not, they are, and so we need to set a good example for them to follow. Uh, one thing I wanted to mention too is, and I think this is really good for everybody, is uh the fruits of the spirit, right? So I have that verse pulled up here as well. I just want to briefly go over them because I think as a leader we should have all of these qualities, or at least be working on them, right? I mean, we're not perfect, we're not all gonna, you know, have all of these qualities all the time, but I think we need to be mindful of this. Uh Galatians 5, 22 to 26. And so it says, but the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ, Jesus, have crucified the flesh with his passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking, and envying each other. And so I I think that's a good place to start. As a parent, we need to be showing all of these things to our kids, right? Um, that's not always easy. It's not always, I mean, we're all gonna fall short, but our kids are watching, and as parents, as fathers, it is our job to show our kids what this means, but also what this looks like. We need to be living this out every day, right? And sometimes that takes getting up in the morning and praying, you know, God help me with these things. I I can't do it by myself. Help to show, help me to show my kids what this means, what this looks like, right?

SPEAKER_05 16:42

Right. Yeah, I agree. Yeah, being intentional definitely helps with that. And uh I uh I do have some notes as well on um like we need to model what we want our kids to become, right? Um they're gonna our kids are going to um be influenced from somewhere and someone, and we need to try to make sure that we are the larger force and the bigger span of time of them seeing um how they should be. And um not for them to be like us because we're perfect because we're not, but we need to we need to act like Christ so that they act like us as we act like Christ. So with that I want to read First Corinthians 11 1, which says, and you should imitate me just as I imitate imitate Christ, which is basically exactly what I just said. Um the uh commentary part, like the the comment section in my study bible here, says, Why did Paul say imitate me? Paul wasn't being arrogant, he did not think of himself as sinless. At this time, however, the Corinthian believers did not know much about the life uh and ministry of Christ. Paul could not tell them to imitate Jesus because the gospels had not yet been written, so they did not know what Jesus was like. The best way to point these new Christians to Christ was to point them to a Christian whom they trusted. Paul had been in Corinth almost two years and had built a relationship of trust with many of these new believers. So as our children uh grow and learn different things, they I mean just think back to when you first became a Christian. You didn't know how you were supposed to act specifically. You were you were looking at and you probably didn't act right, and I didn't either. But no, I did not. Nope. Um But you were you were watching, right? You're you're watching other people uh model how you should live, and you kinda would follow them, at least I would anyway. I'd kind of be like, okay, this person's doing this, and I mean no one's perfect, so you kind of pick pick things out from each person that they model that you're like, oh yeah, that that seems like the Christian thing to do. Yeah. And for me, not growing up in a Christian home and kind of uh coming to Christ as a teenager and then not really having a lot of um guidance to like to kind of say um in a Christian sense, um is is kind of hard for me to figure out uh how to how I'm supposed to live. So if we are intentional and and we're reading our Bible and and we're learning how we're supposed to be because of how Christ was, then we can model those things to our children.

SPEAKER_02 20:25

Absolutely, I 100% agree with that. Um, one thing I wanted to touch on with that, actually, um, is and this might be a touchy subject for some people, but discipline. Right? I I have a verse here that speaks on that too, um Proverbs 13, 24. Okay, and this says that whatever perfect the Holy Spirit is working over it. Yeah. So this one says, Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them. So I wrote in my notes, guys, this doesn't mean beat your children, okay? That that is not what this implies at all. Uh, but you think about think about how uh God disciplines us when we disobey, right? He doesn't do it because he hates us, he does it because he loves us. Right? When you send your kid to a timeout, it's not like, oh, I hate you, go sit in the corner. No, it's like listen, I want you to listen and obey. Uh, we are supposed to live as Christ did, lead as Christ did, and show our kids that listening is important, right? I think of um uh the story of Jonah the whale, right? He disobeyed and he got a consequence. He sat in the belly of a fish for three days because he didn't listen to God, right? And so, guys, this this verse, like I say, it doesn't say beat your children, but if you love your children, discipline is important, right? That is something very necessary to teach our kids. Um, like I said with that first verse, Proverbs 22, 6. This helps us to um show our kids in the way that they should go. It helps to teach them, right?

Guarding Kids In A Digital World

SPEAKER_05 22:19

Right. Yeah, that does go along with uh with uh um yeah, teaching them in the way they should go. Uh the discipline and correction is definitely part of that. And the lack of uh discipline, I would even go as far as to say that not disciplining your children is not showing love. Like if you think you're you know, you're not gonna discipline them, put them in timeout, you know, give them a little swat on their hand or a swat on their butt or whatever it is, um that's not helpful. That's how you get these people that we are dealing with today out in the world, like these crazy people. They were not disciplined as children. Yeah. And they weren't taught res responsibility or respect, right? No, that's right. Yeah. And uh we I mean, I don't want that for my children. I don't want my children to go that way. So um yeah. So without uh this says without correction, children grow up with no clear understanding or right of right and wrong, and with little direction to their lives. So if you're not disciplining them, which is a form of correction, you know, if they get off path, um you discipline them, correct them, back onto the right course. And like Colton said, God does the same thing with us, um as men, too, just like he did with Jonah, you know. He uh he's like, You're you're going, whether you want to or not, basically, or or you're gonna die.

SPEAKER_02 24:02

So yeah. It's funny actually, uh, on that point. So I saw this. I I don't know if it was a commercial or what what I would explain it as, but there's this guy in the desert, and um there's this there's this woman on uh it's kind of I think she was on a board or something, right? But this attractive woman pointing down at a faucet of water, right? This guy didn't have any water, he was parched and looking for water, and so um you can see this hand, this big hand come into the picture, I think representing God. And this guy is running for this lady with this little faucet, but God is pointing off into the distance where there's you know a few trees, but just desert hills, and he can't see anything, right? It's just desert. Well, he goes running, and this hand, you know, goes in front of him to block him. So he slides underneath, jumps over top, goes around, does whatever he can to avoid um the God or the hand of God in this situation. So, anyways, he gets to this lady, turns the faucet on, gets one drop of water, you know, lands on his tongue, rubs his belly, sort of thing, turns and walks away. Well, the next picture takes you down through the desert, down to where these trees were where God was pointing, and it's just this beautiful oasis, you know, a beautiful waterfall and trees. And um I think we often we don't want to follow God's leading because yeah, it looks like a hard path to walk, but at the end of it, it's it's more rewarding, right? God knows where he's pointing us uh better than uh we know where we're pointing ourselves oftentimes.

Integrity And Dedication Of Children To God

SPEAKER_05 25:47

Right. And that yeah, that goes the same for our us and our children. I know actually we just had this conversation recently, you know, because all the kids at school, they've all they're all getting cell phones and stuff like that at at this age, and uh so our we were kind of talking about it, and um I think one of our younger ones was playing with it with uh like a toy phone, and I was like, Well, you're not getting a real phone until you're like graduated, you know that, right? And then they kind of laughed, and and and our older daughter laughed, and my wife's like, uh, he's right, like that's true, you're not. Then she's like, What? But all my friends kind of have phones and they'll have phones by that point, and and uh and then my wife is like, we're doing it because we're trying to protect you, and like that is our that's why we do the things that we do, and whether our children don't like it, or they feel like they hate us for a little bit, which that part is hard, the the discipline side of things, or the you see, like with especially with the technology side of things, there's so much so many crazy people out there, and um to to give our kids access to that, and to give those people access to our children through those devices, and I mean a lot of parents just kind of hands off with the technology, right? With the online gaming, the texting, with the Snapchat, with the all that kind of stuff, and it just time after time, I've heard so many stories, it goes totally sideways. And um, I just my wife and I have decided that's not something we're going to do. We're not, yeah, we're not to allow our children to to take part in that, and they're gonna they're probably gonna hate us for a little bit, especially when they're teenagers. My my friends have phones and they're texting each other, and um but there's also like there's some like uh Christian influencers and stuff like that that my wife follows on Instagram and stuff like that, and uh they have teenage kids as well that have kind of been through that, and they're they're thankful now, they're kind of near the end of that and to where they're gonna be able to start getting their own phones and stuff like that. They're thankful because um and and they they don't feel left out like at first they said they did, like I feel left out, um, but they said mostly it's not actually that big of a deal. So um anyway, if you're if you're scared to to discipline your children, or if you're scared to do things because or not let your children do things because their friends are doing them and they're gonna get made fun of maybe at school, we're looking at the eternal picture here, right? We're not looking at the temporal. Um, and if we're looking at the temporal, we need to broaden our horizons and look at the eternal because um those those things that are temporary um can damage um and really hinder uh our children's walk with the Lord, and that's what we want to strengthen.

SPEAKER_02 29:15

So that wasn't in my notes, but hey, you know, that was that I that was very well said. No, I 100% agree with that for sure.

SPEAKER_05 29:25

Before we get too far, I want to mention I had I had this other verse as well, Proverbs 20 Um verse 7. Uh it just says the godly walk with integrity. Uh blessed are their children who follow them. So uh that kind of went with what we were talking about before I went on that rant. But um I just wanted to do that before I forgot to mention it. So yeah. We want to be we want to walk with integrity and and be if we do walk with integrity, our children are blessed from that. So

SPEAKER_02 30:00

Yeah, yeah, for sure. Like I said, that was I think that was very well said, Craig. I I agree with that a hundred percent. And I think, like you say, the eternal picture is is really important. Um, that's that's what we're here for, you know. And it's been on my mind a lot lately, actually, thinking about um baby baptisms, or sorry, not baby baptisms. I'm thinking more um dedications, is what I mean. Sorry, yeah. Careful baby baptisms.

SPEAKER_01 30:30

That's not something I believe in. Not sure where that came from.

SPEAKER_05 30:33

Anyways, I wonder if you've dealt with that uh situation here uh in recent times.

SPEAKER_02 30:44

Yeah, a guy could probably say we've been involved a little bit in some things like that, trying to yeah, trying to uh figure that out. So just to be clear, I don't agree with baby baptisms. Let's just get that out of the way.

unknown 30:58

Right.

Husbands And Wives: Ephesians 5 In Practice

SPEAKER_02 30:59

No, I'm saying like dedication. So with my kids, we've had we've now had all three of them dedicated to Christ. And um it's only been recently, actually, I think since we started the podcast, that it's been on my mind that my kids they they belong to Jesus, you know, after a dedication, that's what that means, right? My kids belong to Jesus. They're they're my kids, but they're they're his kids. And my job as a parent is to lead and guide them to Christ, right? Uh I'll just there's one verse. Well, I have a couple verses left. I'll just touch on them briefly, and then we can kind of move on to the next point there if you'd like. But the one I think is really important is well, two, I guess. Ephesians 6, verse 4. Okay, so this one says, Fathers, do not exasperate your children, instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. So I looked up exasperate because I'm not I'm not very good with words, I need to figure out what that meant, right? But basically what that means is don't irritate or frustrate your children. Okay, so I I don't know about you, Craig, but I know for me, like when we discipline our kids sometimes, they react differently depending on how we discipline them, right? If we give them a time out, sometimes our kids get mad, they don't, you know, it doesn't work, they don't listen. Um, I think this verse kind of touches on that, how we should try to deal with them gently and lovingly, right? But still disciplining them, but doing it out of love. The last verse I have that I wanted to touch on. This is this verse I like. It's it's very direct. Okay, so this is Jesus talking. This verse is found in Matthew 18, verse 6. All right, I realize maybe not everybody listening is uh is Christians. I would encourage you definitely to consider it. I would encourage everybody to consider it, but uh this verse speaks about leading children astray and what Jesus says should happen, or where you would be better off if you lead a child astray that believes in Jesus and you lead them away. Anyways, uh so Matthew 18, verse 6. And again, this is Jesus talking. If anyone causes one of these little ones, those who believe in me, to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large milestone hung round their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea. I don't know if that hits you in the heart, but I think it I think it should. Like that's that's pretty serious stuff, you know. He doesn't say go drown you in a pool, he says in the depths of the sea. Like I I think that's something we really need to think about when we're leading our kids, right? Don't lead them astray from Christ, lead them to Christ.

SPEAKER_05 34:13

Right. And that's yeah, yeah. I actually heard that on a reel today, and like a Facebook reel, and the guy was talking, he was referencing these um like these left-wing LGBTQ plus teachers, and and especially the people in in these churches that are promoting this stuff. Like if you're promoting this stuff in your church, if you're a pastor of a church and you are um allowing that in your church and promoting it, you need to think about this verse. And I mean, I don't know, I'm getting hot under the collar thinking about the children, because like it actually makes me angry. Because you guys, you guys are leading people astray, and you need to stop, and you really need to think about it because Jesus said it's better for you to tie a millstone around your neck and be thrown into the sea than to be doing what you're doing. And there's a there's also another verse that says there's a special place in hell for you. So just think about that.

SPEAKER_04 35:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 35:25

Well, unless I said, check your hearts, right? Nobody's perfect, but guys, God gave us the Bible to follow. You know, it's simple. We we don't follow people, we don't follow what people teach, we follow what God teaches, right? That's why for us, we want our information to be directed out of the Bible. This is this is where our hope is found, is in Jesus Christ and in his word, right? So I would encourage everybody out there to, you know, if you have questions, if you have concerns, look in the Bible and just see where God leads you through it.

SPEAKER_05 36:03

Absolutely. Um yeah, uh kind of to go along with that, uh, I also I had that verse as well, and I also had uh Second Deuteronomy, or not Second Deuteronomy, sorry. This is my second tag in for for my little for my little notes. Deuteronomy 6 uh 6 to 9 says, and you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to the commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children, or some translations will say, teach them to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed, and when you are getting up. Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as a reminder. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. So that uh also goes um along with what you were talking kind of talking about with uh being intentional with your time and and stuff like that, and being intentional about um things you talk about and things you do, I guess. Uh so if we're if we're emulating uh things, you know, Christ-like things, and if we're talking about the things that the Bible teaches all the time, and if we're showing our children that you know being in the word and being in prayer and uh attending church and and being a servant to the ones around us are important, then those are the things that our kids are going to learn from us. And I think they I think children learn values from what we prioritize. So I think just uh just a word of caution to to think about like what what are you prioritizing in in your life and uh to know that your kids are watching like what you were saying, like uh you said Brianne was telling you, like, hey, you gotta stop doing this because your kids are doing this too. Yeah, well, you don't think about it, right?

SPEAKER_02 38:22

Until all of a sudden she's like, Oh, yeah, no, they've been doing it all day, and it's like, oh, okay. Yep, I messed up. Again, she's like not perfect. And again, you ask my wife, she'll tell you. I got a lot of flaws. That might be one of them.

SPEAKER_05 38:42

Maybe. Some have said, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 38:46

Hey, who have you been talking to?

Submission To Christ As The Source Of Leadership

SPEAKER_05 38:49

Oh, your wife. No. Uh yeah. Um, and then moving on from that, if you were kind of done with that topic, um, or that like subset topic, whatever you want to call it, uh, we have to uh we need to create spiritual moments uh in our everyday life as well. Like, like it said, um, talk about these things when you're traveling and when you get up and when you go to bed. And so some ways that we can do that is pray with them. I mean, um, I'm not perfect, and I know I know you guys, at least when we're there anyway, I notice that you guys pray with your children at night, and um we we do that some. I know we're not like I wish I would just take the time to do it every night. I just feel like we're always in a rush to try and get bedtime done, and it's you know, people are crying because they're they don't want to go to bed, and we got I got four different ones and staggered bed times, and it's just it can be so hectic. So sometimes we'll do it for a little while and it goes good, and then it's just like hey, this is too much, and I want I want you to go to bed so that I can relax.

SPEAKER_02 40:10

By the end of the day, for uh those of you who don't have kids, you you get pretty tired and you kind of look forward to a little bit of quiet time.

SPEAKER_05 40:19

Yeah, yeah, they're they're a great blessing, but uh man, they can be they can be hard on you, but it's good. Will yeah I know I I always hear the older guys and uh the older ladies saying that you know they're in the next season of life and they're like, Oh, you're gonna miss it. I'm like, I cannot imagine that.

SPEAKER_01 40:41

Sometimes it's hard to see into the future like that when you're uh dealing with it currently, right?

SPEAKER_05 40:47

Right, and I'm sure they felt the same way when they had people telling them that. And our kids will feel the same way too, like you're nuts. Uh yeah, oh exactly. Uh yeah. Uh I have like for that, I have uh Joshua 24, 15 says, uh, but if you refuse to serve the Lord, then choose today whom you will serve. Would you prefer the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates? Or will it be the gods of the Amorites in whose land you now live? So that's specific to the situation, but this is kind of the main thing, um, which some of you will know this once I read it. But as for me and my family, or as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. So again, with the intentionality and and creating uh spiritual moments, we will we will serve the Lord and do it do so as a family. And I also had Psalm 784. Um We will not hide these truths from our children. We will tell the next generation about the glorious deeds of the Lord, about his power and his mighty wonders. So there we we kind of talked about it in our testimonies and stuff like that too. Like the Lord has done some amazing things in our lives, right? And from even from before we were Christians, like you can look back and you can see, oh, the Lord was calling me, like he was working on my life prior already, and and you can see those things, and you can see the things that he's done. And um I think it's important to share those things with our children, share those stories and and let them know that the Lord is real and the Lord is working, and He works in our lives, and He can work in their lives too.

SPEAKER_02 42:44

So Yeah, absolutely. I think uh I think that kind of leads us into our next point a little bit here, too. Um being being a leader as a husband. Uh I I think it kind of goes hand in hand, right? Um the verse I have written down here Ephesians 5, 21 to 33. It's a bit of a longer I have a couple longer verses here, but um, I'll try and get through them quick for you guys. Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ is the head of the church. His body of which he is the Savior, now as the church submits to Christ. So also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, to make her holy, cleansing her by washing with water through the word and to present present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church, for we are members of his body. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and will be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery, but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. So my Bible here, there's a couple notes in the bottom I would like to read because this kind of just brought a bit more clarity uh even for myself on this one. Um it's about uh verse 22 to 24. It says, Just as Christ is not inferior to the father, but is the second person in the Trinity, so wives are equal to their own husbands. Yet in a marriage relationship, a husband and a wife have different roles. A wife's voluntary submission arises out of her own submission to Christ. Right? So this verse clearly states that the men are the head of the house like Christ is the head of the church. Now that doesn't mean, you know, that we can do whatever we want and the wife just kind of has to come along. No, there's two parts to that verse, right? We need to um respect our wives, and decisions need to be made together. But it is our job as men to lead and guide our families, that means our wives as well, in the way that we should go, right? We need to um be strong Christ-like men, taking our our kids, our family to church, right? Showing our wife that we are here to lead them in a way that glorifies God. That is extremely important as men. I think that is is huge. That's so that's the one verse I had for that. Um, I had one other verse here, actually.

Marriage, Intimacy, And Mutual Duty

SPEAKER_05 45:54

I think um before you go on, I'll just say, or while you're looking for that other one, I'll just say that the um there's uh you often you know talking in like Bible studies or in uh like small groups or anything like that when these when these verses come up, wives submit to your husbands and stuff like that. It it all often is like uh a source of contention or whatever, and so with that first part of what you said, the the first part of those verses says submit to one another out of reverence for Christ, and that is the most important part of that, and the rest will follow, I think.

SPEAKER_02 46:39

Yeah. Um, something that just came to mind too is when when we get married as Christians, this is an example in almost any wedding I've ever been to that's been a Christian wedding, is uh, and people do it in a different way, but one common one I see is people will have um three ropes because and again, I don't I don't remember where this verse is found, but it speaks about how um oh man, how does it go? You must know the verse I'm talking about, but it speaks about how uh I'm gonna really mess this up, aren't I?

SPEAKER_05 47:15

Uh a cord of three strands is not easily broken or something like that. Is that what you're talking about?

SPEAKER_02 47:22

Yes, yeah, that's one. So basically, when you get married, you're not just your wife doesn't become your number one, right? You and your wife have to keep God as your number one. From there, he will show you what it means to to lead your wife, to lead your kids, what it looks like in what order you need to lead them. Um, just a thought that just kind of came to my mind. I think that's important too, right? We need to remember that that God is that third strand holding it all together, and um, and that the husband and wife need to work together in the marriage, and I think that's very important.

SPEAKER_05 47:58

No, that's good, that's really good. Um yeah. The uh uh so the first thing that I kind of have here is that leadership begins with kind of submission to Christ, and that like kind of like you said, like we can't do anything without him, um and and the leadership has to come from him first uh and through us. Um so in John fifteen, verse four to five, it says uh remain in me, and I will remain in you, for a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me. Yes, I am the vine, you are the branches. Those who remain in me and I in them will produce much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. Um that's that's kind of that too. Like we with those examples of men that I've seen in my life, and uh like the ones that that are not godly and were not good examples, not good leaders, and like they obviously were not in the Lord, and the Lord was not in them. And uh later on in that section, like it says the branches that do not produce fruit are cut off from the vine, and they are thrown into the fire. So as a little bit of an illustration of uh where you're gonna go if you're not in him.

SPEAKER_02 49:42

So yeah, and that's the thing, uh you know, again, I I just want to mention that this is something that that Jesus offers to everybody, it's not just for certain people, um, right when it comes to your eternity, because at the end of the day, this is this is our end goal, right? There's there's two places you're gonna go, and I'm gonna tell you right now, hell was never designed for humans, that was designed for Satan and his followers. God and Jesus are creating a place for us in heaven where we belong, but God loves us enough to give us free will. So it's every one of our choices to decide what we're gonna do with that. And at the end of our life, when we're standing before God, he's either gonna tell you, Well done, good and faithful servant, or he's gonna tell you, I never knew you, depart from me. Right? And those are right scary words to hear. So, you know, just for anybody out there listening, that that's our goal with this is to spread the word of God. We want you to know that he loves you and and he wants you to be a part of his family. Maybe a bit of a rabbit trail, but I think that that needs to be said.

SPEAKER_05 50:54

Yeah, that uh that kind of ties into um into my next verse for that, too, a little bit. So um you you also see people, men, uh anyone in general, um, they are they're not believers. So people outside of Christian circles see these other people and they're like, well, they're doing good, right? They're um they're able to do good things and they're they're not in in the church, they're not going to church, they don't call themselves a Christian or anything like that. Um but the Bible also says uh that because we're sinners, um when we uh display righteous deeds, when we g do good things, um they without God they are like without him in us, they are nothing but filthy rags. So Isaiah 64, 6 says we are all infected and impure with sin. When we display our righteous deeds, they are nothing but filthy rags. Like autumn leaves, we wither and fall, and our sins sweep us away like the wind. So um yeah, that kind of because there is there is people that are not necessarily Christians that also have good relationships um between husband and wife. Um but I think especially as believers we need to understand that um our leadership does uh our leadership is strengthened when we submit uh to the Lord and and when we are in him and when he is in us, like that other section did say.

SPEAKER_02 52:48

So yeah. And I actually I want to ask you a question, Craig. I've I've noticed this for myself, but do you find in your life when your wife submits to you, when you feel like she's backing you up on a decision or on something that uh you know something that's important, do you feel strengthened by that? Or like how do you feel? I guess my question is, how do you feel when you submit to Christ? What happens, and how do you feel, or what happens when your wife submits to you in the same way that you submit to Christ?

Serving Like Jesus: Humility And Honour

SPEAKER_05 53:29

Good question. Um, I would say short answer is yes, but um I think like when I am when I have been spending time with the Lord in prayer, and when I've been intentional with being in the word, and when I am submitting to him and what he wants me to do, I find that my relationship with my wife is strengthened, and she wants to serve me more when I am living the way I'm supposed to live. And I don't know if it's conscious or not. I th I think it's wired into us. Um and I find that when I'm doing that, I also love my wife better, right? And and I'm more um I think I'm more in tune to the things that she needs and the things that uh would help her. And like it's kind of a circle. Like we uh we submit to the Lord and and then it's almost like the Lord uh gives us uh I don't know, opens our hearts or whatever to each other as well, and then um you know we love our wives, and then our wives submit to us, and it's like it's back and forth like that. So when that gets broken, then that's when you see issues happen, I think, and that's when you you get these um people divorcing and stuff like that, even within the church. Like if you're not both both parties have to be submitting to um first to the Lord and then to each other as well. Yes, absolutely.

Provide, Protect, Pursue Peace

SPEAKER_02 55:16

Actually, that uh that touches really nicely on this next verse that I had. So this um this might get very direct, but we're just gonna go for it. Alright. This verse so everybody get ready for this one. Here it comes. Buckle in okay. Yep. First Corinthians seven, one to eleven. Now for the matters you wrote about, it is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman, but since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. I say this as a concession, not as a command. I wish that all of you were as I am, but each of you has your own gift from God. One has this gift, another has that. Now to the unmarried and the widows I say it is good for them to stay unmarried as I do, but if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. To be married, sorry, to the married, I give this command. Not I but the Lord, a wife must not separate from her husband, but if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband, and a husband must not divorce his wife. So there's a lot to unpack in that passage, I think. Um we may not be able to touch on all of it, but a couple of the things I wanted to speak on a little bit is this verse kind of ties in with what you were saying, Craig, how um we need to submit to each other, right? So we as Christians believe, well, I as a Christian believe that sex is meant for marriage and marriage alone, right? This is an act that, as the Bible says, creates one flesh out of two people. Um this is something that when you are married, you know, as it says, the wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband, in the same way the husband does not have authority over his own body, but yields it to his wife, right? You guys, uh when you get married, you belong to each other, right? Husbands, serve your wives, respect them. Right? Wives, do the same thing to your husband, show them love, right? Respect them. This is uh I mean when they talk about divorce, I personally think that a big part of it I think a big part of it is the man's fault. Okay, and I'll tell you why I think that. I I'm not saying that women are always innocent, um, but I think a big part of divorce can be the man's fault, because the Bible calls us to be, as we talked about earlier, the head of our wives, as Christ is the head of the church. Right? We're supposed to lead our families. If we're not loving our families properly, maybe that's driving you guys further apart. Maybe it's driving um you know the husband to not love his wife. Um I'm gonna say something that I I don't tell, I haven't told very many people, um, but the last while it's been my life's been a little bit hard for me. I've been struggling a little bit mentally with certain things. Um I'm not gonna go into too much detail, but what Craig talked about um just with loving God and that changing the love for your wife, you know, that's so true because I I don't feel like I've been myself lately. And so when we started this podcast, I was I was excited. It was something that I can do to serve God where I'm at, and and so I started reading the Bible more. Um You know, after Charlie Kirk's death. And again, I talked a little bit about this in um our testimonies, but I I bring this up because after Charlie Kirk's death, I I really felt like I wasn't doing enough, you know, and so I started to grow closer to God. And the love I had from my wife was I'll be honest, it's something that I hadn't felt for her in a long time. Um It's hard to explain sometimes how this works. But guys, as husbands, you need to love Jesus first. He has to be number one. We we need to be strong in Christ so that we can lead our families well. Our wives, our kids. Um and I can't tell you how rewarding it is when you get there.

Calling Single Men: Purpose And Purity

SPEAKER_05 1:01:23

That's good. Well, thanks for sharing that. I mean, obviously, yeah, you didn't go into detail, but I could tell that you were yeah, it's definitely affected you. Um which is great. And it and it's been in a good way, looks like. So with that, like uh we kind of talked about it already with the kind of being sacrificial and uh we in Ephesians 5, right? We talked about it in husbands love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. And in 1 Peter 3 7 as well, it says again, in the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God's gift of new life. Treat her as you should, so your prayers will not be hindered. So that actually really kind of ties into what you were uh just talking about as well, with like it kind of goes hand in hand as we grow draw closer to the Lord, we draw closer to our wives, and that draws us closer to the Lord, that draws us closer to our wives, and it seems like it goes in tandem and back and forth like that. It kind of goes together, which is really cool, and and like you said, and I mean um I also feel like yeah, this is this has been really good uh for me too, for my walk with the Lord and and kind of learning about the kind of man that I need to be for my wife and for my children, and um the more I'm in the word, the closer I get to him, and the more I love my wife, and uh the more I love my children, and and the more I realize, like you said, um in the father section there that we talked about, our children are not ours, they're his. He's just giving us them for a time, and and we are to be good stewards of them and and teach them the way that Christ would have us teach them. So yeah, absolutely. I've also got um that we're like these aren't necessarily just for um husbands and for wives, like they they kind of tie into just being a leader in general as well. Um which we will we'll transition to that as well after this section. But uh you can think about it.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:33

Don't worry, we didn't forget about you guys.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:36

Don't worry. Single guys, gotcha. Stay stay till the end, don't leave us. Um so uh Philippians two, three to eight says, Don't be selfish, don't try to impress others, be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don't look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others too. You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had. Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. Instead, he gave up his divine privileges, he took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being when he appeared in human form. He humbled himself in obedience to God and died a criminal's death on a cross. So we need to um like that chapter two in Philippians is titled Joy in Serving. And uh that section there is have the attitude of Christ. So um we we are to serve our wives as Christ serves the church, and um yeah, in that he died for the church, and we need to be willing to die for our wives, and this is uh yeah, we need to we need to also humble ourselves and and uh be servants to our wives as well. Um and and it's not uh like with that verse that we were talking about before as well, with the um wives submit to your husbands, husbands love your wives. Uh it's it's not love your wives once they submit to you. You gotta love them first, and then they will submit to you. And wives, too. Don't wait for your husband to love you how you want him to love you. Um submit to him, and he will love you. Like it has it kind of has to happen at the same time, and they affect each other. So it's not one or the other, it's it's both and. Um so uh I don't know if you have any comments on that.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:57

I actually I do, yeah. Uh one thing I wanted to say about that is uh that's not um that's not something that's meant to be easy. Uh one thing I've been told lots, guys, when it comes to love, is uh it's not always it doesn't always just come naturally. Sometimes love has to be a choice, right? And I'm sure we all have those days, but choose love. You know, my wife and I have situations where um whether it's with the kids, whether it's with us, if we have a disagreement, um you know, just as an example with our kids, if if I'm dealing with them but I'm I'm not doing it in love, I'll tell my wife, like, hey, I'm I'm sorry I can't do this right now. I'm not loving, I'm angry, and she will deal with them because she can do it out of love. Uh, it's not easy, but like I say, sometimes we gotta choose it. And um, even you know, between her and I, sometimes we have a disagreement, and I can get pretty upset sometimes, so I'll leave for a bit until I can come back and speak to her out of love. You know, that's that's something that I think we all need to think about, you know, especially before we speak, right? Sometimes words hurt, but we need to just choose to love them.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:22

Right. Yeah, I agree. Um, and yeah, loving them, uh not just our wives, but just like the people in our household. Um 1 Timothy 5 8 says, But those who don't care for their families, especially those in their own household, have denied the true faith, and such people are worse than unbelievers. So um providing for our families, um both our wives and our children, uh, is very important because uh the Bible says that if you don't, you're worse than an unbeliever. So that that's a pretty that's a pretty bold um bold line there, and it's kinda I don't know if it's scary, but it's uh it's like hey, it's uh it's kind of a wake-up call, right? Yeah, oh absolutely. Um if we actually I could probably this one kind of pertain to both. Uh okay. Like pursuing unity, um not just in marriage, but with each other. Uh Romans 12, 18. Um actually I'll read 17 to 21, I think. And then yeah, that'll that'll pertain kind of to both married people and um and single people, and then we can kind of transition to the single people, because I know you have some verses for them as well. Yeah, no, that sounds good. So starting in uh verse 17 of Romans twelve, never pay back evil with more evil, do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone. Dear friends, never take revenge, leave that to the righteous anger of God, for the scriptures say I will take revenge, I will pay them back, says the Lord. Instead, if your enemies are angry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink. In doing this, you will keep burning coals of shame on their heads. Don't let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good. And I actually think that goes along with what you said uh either last episode or the episode before. You're like, we need to not we not we need to be willing to go as far as to not only die for um for the ones we love, but for the ones that hate us, like our enemies. And that it clears day right there. It says if your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they're thirsty, give them something to drink. Um, and I think we do need to do it out of love, though. We don't need to do it because we know that God is gonna pay them back for being evil. That's not the heart that we need to have.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:47

No, there's not a note.

Avoid Counterfeits: Last Days Character

SPEAKER_02 1:11:50

Yeah, that might be actually wrong if if we did it that way. I think uh yeah, like Craig said, do it, do it out of love, guys, please. Again, it's not easy, but trust me, do it. You'll you'll be rewarded greatly by God by following what he says.

SPEAKER_05 1:12:08

Right. Um, I guess I don't know. I can read my stuff, and then you can read yours if you want, and then we're not going back and forth, but uh sure. Yeah, we can do that. So the next one I have, um which is just for everyone in general, um is it is Philippians 2, 1 to 8. Uh oh, which is that serving that I talked about. So I'll actually expand on that. Um so joy in serving, yeah. Uh I didn't realize that I had them wrote twice anyway. Yep. Uh so uh starting in verse one, is there any encouragement from belonging to Christ? Any comfort from his love? Any fellowship together in the spirit? Are your hearts tender and compassionate? Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another and working together with one mind and purpose. Don't be selfish, don't try to impress others, be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves, like I said before, do not look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others too. You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had. Though he was God, he did not think of the quality of God as something to cling to. Instead, he gave up his divine privileges. He took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being. When he appeared in human form, he humbled himself in obedience to God and died a criminal's death on the cross. So yeah, I I know I already read some of that previously, but um I think that's really good, just as people in general, like uh yeah, and then uh first Peter three, eight to twelve. That's my last one there. So this is uh I'll just tell you guys first Peter uh chapter three, like starting in verse three, there's a section there for the wives as well. I won't go through that, but if you guys are interested, you can uh go read verse one there all the way through. Uh and then like I said, verse seven is the husbands, and this one says all Christians. So I'll read from uh verse eight all the way to verse twelve. Uh finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other, love each other as brothers and sisters, be tender hearted, and keep a humble attitude. Don't repeat don't repay evil with evil, don't retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing that is what God has called you to do, and He will bless you for it. For the scripture say If you want to enjoy life and see many happy days, keep your tongue from speaking evil and your lips from telling lies, turn away from evil and do good. Search for peace and work to maintain it. The eyes of the Lord watch over those who do right, and his ears are open to their prayers, but the Lord turns his face against those who do evil. So that's yeah, just for everyone. Do good, basically.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:01

I really like that verse. That was a good one.

SPEAKER_05 1:16:04

Yeah, do good, and and I think verse twelve there is important too. The eyes of the Lord watch over those who do right, and his ears are open to their prayers. I know, I think there's somewhere that says, like, if you're not doing good, like the Lord doesn't hear your prayers or something like that. I don't remember where that is, but but yeah, so that's kind of what I had for just in general. I know that didn't necessarily talk about leadership, but it did talk about how we should act. And um, I think while we're out in the world, we are leading people. Um we're whether it's in the workplace where you're actually in a leadership role, or even if you're just out and about doing your thing, um people are watching you, and uh people in your community that know you are watching you, and um you're leading them. And I mean, for us especially, it's really kind of on my mind. We are leading you guys that are listening, and we don't take that lightly, and we pray that um the Lord would speak through us and we would say the things that He would have us say, yeah, and not lead you guys astray, and if there's anything to be corrected, we are open to be corrected as well. So a hundred percent.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:34

Yeah, yeah, well said, I like that.

SPEAKER_05 1:17:38

Um, so for all you single guys, all the single ladies, all the single ladies, I mean, all the single guys.

Jesus’ Standard: Matthew 5–7 Highlights

SPEAKER_02 1:17:49

This is uh this is a little more for you. So this isn't maybe exactly directed towards just single people. Um, like Craig was saying, this is uh just kind of a general idea. A lot of what I'm gonna talk about here the next couple minutes is more um I guess more how we should act, but I believe that that leads into what it looks like to be a leader as well. Uh so I'm just gonna touch on the one verse. This one verse I read it already, but I want to touch on it again just to give you guys comfort. Okay, so this is uh 1 Corinthians chapter 7, verse 7. Um I wish that all of you were as I am, but each of you has your own gift from God. One has this gift, another has that. Now to the unmarried and the widows, I say it is good for them to stay unmarried as I do. Right? So it's not a bad thing to be single. One thing I remember when I was still dating, um I'd just been through my first relationship, and I wanted a girlfriend really bad. You know, I wanted to get married at a young age, and things at that point weren't looking very good. But the thing is, God removed me from that situation, I think, to bring me to a place where I was okay. And I realized this may not happen for everybody, but for me, when I got to the point where I was like, okay, God, you know, I'm I'm okay being single, that's fine. That's when I met my wife, you know, and God works in that way, right? Just take that time as you're single to maybe work on your heart, figure out who you are, and figure out where God is asking you to go, who He's asking you to be, and who He is asking you to lead. Guys, that's that's important. That single part of your life, it only lasts so long, right? So take advantage of it. You know, let God work in you and through you through that time. That's something I think for me, it took some time learning, but um again, you know, God calls us all to a different to a different life, and I think that's uh a good thing to keep in mind, right? It's not a it's not a bad thing to be single. Um just let God work through you in that time. Jesus was another book. Yeah, well, and I wanted to touch on that actually. You look at Jesus, you look at Paul, you look at uh John the Baptist, like all these really great Christian leaders, a lot of them are single, right? A lot of them are married too, but a lot of them are single, and God really used them. I mean, Apostle Paul is probably one of the greatest Christians that ever lived. Yeah, right? And and he was never married.

SPEAKER_05 1:20:40

No, yeah, he had no family. So yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:45

Right? Sometimes wonder if God maybe used that so he didn't have other people to focus on, but he could just focus on on Jesus, you know. It's an interesting thought.

SPEAKER_05 1:20:56

Yeah, it's not a bad thing, for sure. It yeah, uh, it can be hard for you guys that are single. I mean, you still you still have those sexual desires and those drives and stuff like that. And if you're really trying to live for the Lord, then you can't go give in to those temptations. Um, so it is good for a man to be married in that sense, but I mean, um, yeah, you can do it. You can do it. So yeah, 100%.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:24

And again, you have questions, you want help, reach out. We'd love to help you. We're no professionals, but we're here to talk. We're open.

SPEAKER_05 1:21:32

Yeah, I'll give you a high five and a side hug.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:37

That's right. Like we say, we're willing to go for coffee.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:40

You better exactly another verse I had laid out here was uh 2 Timothy uh chapter 3 verse 1 to 9. And so this one is more of uh an example of what not to be. Um, but I'm gonna read it and then I'll I'll discuss it after. But mark this there will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, um without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure, rather than lovers of God, having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have and then it says, have nothing to do with such people. Right? So avoid that. That is not a leader. People who have those qualities, like it like it says here, have nothing to do with those people, okay? Uh verse six, they are the kind who worm their way into homes and gain control over gullible women, who are loaded down with sins and are swayed by all kinds of evil desires, always learning, but never able to come to a knowledge of the truth. Just as um Janus and Jambris uh uh oppose Moses, so also these teachers oppose the truth. They are men of depraved minds, who, as far as the faith is concerned, are rejected. But they will not get very far because, as in the case of those men, their fully will be clear to everyone. Okay, so I just want to touch on that because that's such a good example of what not to be, right? And again, you can go back. That was um 2 Timothy chapter 3, verse 1 to 9. You guys can go back and reread that because I realize there's a lot of uh points made in there. Um, but again, these are things that as leaders we we shouldn't strive to be, right? And again, it says have nothing to do with such people. Um I hear it said lots that the people you hang out with are who you become. Guys, that's I mean, that's pretty true, right? You think about the guys you work with or um people you spend time with after work, you start to kind of follow in their footsteps, right? So um again, try to avoid um people like this, right? The next part I want to talk about. Sorry, go ahead.

SPEAKER_05 1:24:12

No, I was disagreeing. I just said yes. Okay, continue.

Qualifications That Shape A Leader

SPEAKER_02 1:24:18

So this one's not quite as direct. Um, I think it is really good. You guys can definitely go back and look this over. Um I was kind of looking through Matthew chapter five to chapter seven. Um, and so I'm just gonna read a couple verses out of here out of each heading. I I think the headings are pretty good, and so I'll tell you which verses I'm reading, and again, you guys can go back and look them up if you'd like. And I'm just gonna touch on a few, right? But I would recommend reading Matthew 5 straight through 7. I think this is uh a really good layout, and again, most of this, if not all of it, I think all of it actually is uh is Jesus speaking. So the first one here we're gonna look at is Matthew 5, uh chapter 21 and 22. And the heading for this one is murder. So it says, You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, you shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment. But I tell you, again, guys, this is Jesus speaking, uh, but I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, Rakah isn't is answerable to the court, and anyone who says, You fool, will be in danger of the fire of hell. Um so I know my Bible doesn't say it the way I'm thinking of. I might be thinking of a uh different verse, but basically, Jesus says that if we are angry or hate a brother or sister, we've already committed murder in our hearts. Right? So, as a leader, that's not something that we want to be to lead other people to. We want to lead them away from that, you know, and again, it's easy to fall into. We're not all perfect, guys. I've had times where I get mad at people too. Um, but we need to try our best to uh turn away from that anger and from that hate. Uh second part here, adultery. So Matthew 5, chapter 27 and 28. You have heard that it was said, you shall not commit adultery, but I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Now, again, if if you're leading people and this is what you're falling into, we could potentially be leading people in the wrong direction, right? Leading people astray. This is not what God calls us to. Again, sex was meant for marriage. Um, even you know, lust, looking at a woman lustfully, uh, Jesus says that you've already committed adultery with her in your heart. Guys, that's that's not good, right? And again, I'm sinful, I'm not perfect, but this is something that we don't want in in um a manly leader, right? A Christ-like leader. Uh verse 31 and 32. It has been said anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce, but I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery. Verse thirty three and thirty-four. This one is called uh the heading is oaths. Again you have heard that it was said to the people long ago, do not break your oath, but fulfill to the Lord the vows you have made. But I tell you, do not swear an oath at all, either by heaven, for it is God's throne. Um thirty five, or by the earth, for it is his footstool, or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great king. Verse thirty-eight and thirty-nine. This heading is eye for eye. I know Craig, you touched on this one a little bit too, actually, already. Uh you have heard that it was said, eye for eye and tooth for tooth, but I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. Uh and then there's love for enemies. I think that one's a good one because again, that's hard to do. This is uh Matthew 5, verse 40 uh 43 and 44. You have heard that it was said, love your neighbor and hate your enemy. But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. Uh verse 45, that you may be children of your father in heaven. He causes his son to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. Right? So, guys, this is just a few. Um, there is a lot of other really good points in here as well. Uh, you know, but as uh as a leader, I think it's good to read over this because it's teaching us what not to be, what not to do, right? And again, this is Jesus speaking to us, um telling us to love our enemies, right? To serve them. Um, you know, don't an eye for an eye, and it's interesting actually, now that I think of it, because most of these headings, the way Jesus lays it out is he lays out the worldly view, and then he tells us what he says that we should do. And I just find it interesting. So, guys, if you do get the chance, um read through Matthew chapter five to chapter seven, and I think this really lays out a good example as single men, as married men. You know, I think if As men in general, this really sets a good example of of what Jesus calls us to and what we should look like as leaders.

SPEAKER_05 1:30:08

I agree. I uh while you were talking there, I thought of something. Um I forget what it is that you said, but it made me think of the qualifications for deacons and for overseers in the church. Yeah, it's funny, I was looking at that too, actually. Okay, so uh I did look it up while you were talking there. So that is that is first Timothy chapter three. And uh I guess if I just read it's basically most of that chapter. Uh so the first section here from verse one to seven is qualifications of overseers or leaders. Okay. Uh so I'll read that first, and then the next section from eight to thirteen is qualifications for deacons. So qualifications for overseers. The saying this saying is trustworthy. If anyone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task. Therefore, an overseer must be above reproach, which that is uh a word that I've had in my head while we've been studying for this. Um like a leader needs to be above reproach, and then I just could never think of where that was found, and so anyway, now I found it.

SPEAKER_04 1:31:32

There you go, God showed you.

SPEAKER_05 1:31:34

Yeah, uh so an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not a drunkard, not violent, but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own household well, with all dignity, keeping his children submissive, for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God's church? He must not be a recent convert, or he may become puffed up with conceit and fall into the condemnation of the devil. Moreover, he must be well thought of by outsiders, so that he may not fall into disgrace into a snare of the devil. And then qualifications for deacons. Deacons likewise must be dignified, not double tongued, not addicted to much wine, not greedy for dishonest gain, they must hold the mystery of the faith with a clear conscience, and let them also be tested first. Then let them serve as deacons. If they prove themselves blameless, their wives likewise must be dignified, not slanderers, but sober minded, faithful in all things. Let deacons each be the husband of one wife, managing their children and their own households well, for those who serve well as deacons gain a good standing for themselves and also great confidence in the faith that is in Christ Jesus. So thinking of that, that uh that really is just exactly how we need to be, and that's how we need to act to lead not just the overseers in the church, but overseers of our families. So, I mean, through all the all the rabbit trails that we've gone through, all the different topics that we've touched on, all the uh different verses that we've touched on, I think that is very clear. Yeah, I I agree 100%. I'm yeah, like that really sums up the kind of man that you're supposed to be to be a leader, and I think if you're doing those things and just and living that way, and of course raising your children up in the way they should go, and living that way out in your community, and leading your wife um in those things, then that is exactly what a godly leader is of a household and just in general.

SPEAKER_02 1:34:16

Yeah, yeah, that was very well said. I think that verse is very fitting. Um, it kind of wraps everything up and pulls everything uh to a close here for us, guys. Um again, we we thank you for listening. Um this week, let's go out, let's be leaders of of Christ, let's be leaders of our our sorry, leaders for Christ, and uh let's follow his leading and let's lead our families uh well this week. Um we have some exciting stuff coming up the next few weeks, guys. So stay tuned again. We would really appreciate uh your support in prayers as we go through this. Um, just continue to pray for humbleness and for God's leading in this for us that we would just talk about what God calls us to talk about, and that the Holy Spirit would speak through us and um and in us through this.

Final Charge, Prayer, And Listener Invites

SPEAKER_05 1:35:14

Um and uh yeah, I I don't know if you had more to say on that or not. No, no, I don't know. Okay, okay. I was just gonna say uh I did want to ask uh you guys as listeners uh just to be mindful of how you're leading at home. Uh at home, especially, because the home is our first uh mission field, right? And we often I mean it's great to go off in a for far-off foreign land and and be a missionary and stuff like that, but your biggest and your first mission field is the home, and it is so important to um to lead our families uh like Christ calls us to. And uh the last verse I want to read for you guys is Micah 6.8, and that's uh you know, it's a song too, so you're probably already singing it in your mind, and I'm gonna try not to sing it while I read it. But uh yeah. So uh he has told you, oh man, what is good and what does the Lord require of you, but to do justice and to love kindness and to walk humbly with your God. So that also just really sums up how we are to be. And uh, you know, that's what that's what the Lord requires of us, right? Is to and of course I just forgot exactly what I just said is to to do justice, to love kindness, and to walk humbly. So that would be my prayer for you guys and uh and my prayer for us as well. Um and again, like Colton said, uh pray for us that we would stay humble in in doing this. No to uh it just it can be hard. Uh it's a big it's kind of a big thing to to realize that we are we are teaching people, right? And we have a big responsibility for the research that we do and and the words that we bring you guys, and we don't take that like lightly. So definitely do be praying for us as we prepare uh for the next time. And I mean this uh doing this has really given me a new respect for our pastors as well, right? They are this is a it's a big thing, and it's a big uh it is a burden, but it's also a um I don't know what the word is a blessing too. It's a blessing as well, and I mean for me, uh this has this has helped me get into the word more, and I have like with the responsibility of you know, we're we're bringing things to you guys every week now on different topics and and things like that. So I have to be in the word, especially because we want to keep this scripture-based. We don't want to just have this be our own ideas, we want to go to scripture and have the Lord tell us what he wants us to say to you guys. So um, I hope um if you're listening, the guy that asked me this question, I hope that answered your question. Um, I know we kind of we covered not only just in the home, but also outside the home. Um but yeah, I hope it answered your question. And uh yeah. I think that's I think that's all I have.

SPEAKER_02 1:39:02

Yep. Um so yeah, guys, like I say, we got some exciting stuff coming up the next few weeks. Uh we are going to be, I think our plan is to start going through the fruits of the spirit and how to apply that to our lives as men, how that should look, how we should act. Um go through all nine fruits of the spirit. So stay in tune for that. And uh yeah, thank you again for listening. Um, I think we will close in prayer from here, and uh, we will see you guys next week there. So um yeah, I can close in prayer if you'd like, or you can.

SPEAKER_05 1:39:42

I forget who did it last time, whatever you want.

SPEAKER_02 1:39:46

Okay, uh, yeah, I can pray.

SPEAKER_05 1:39:50

Okay, sounds good. Thank you.

SPEAKER_02 1:39:52

All right, no problem. Thank you, Father, for this time. Uh, just again, that we can be be here, Lord, doing this and just speaking about your word, Lord, speaking about you. Um, I just pray that you would use us in a way to reach the people that need to hear this this podcast, Lord. Um, Holy Spirit, just continue to work in us, continue to speak through us. Uh, these are not our words that need to be said. Um, and this isn't for our glory, but for yours. And so just continue to lead us in that way, guide us, and help us to keep our eyes focused on you through this, Lord. I pray for those out there who uh who don't know you, Lord. I pray for those who are searching and maybe don't know what they're searching for. This this is the answer. I I know it is. There's nothing as fulfilling as living um a life for you, Jesus. And so I pray for those people that you would just touch their hearts and that you would meet them where they are, that they would just learn about your love through this podcast, Lord, and and again use us in that way to to teach and to love people and show them what it is to have the love of Christ in us. I pray, Father, as we all go through this week, just guide us and um help us to keep our eyes focused on you. We thank you for this time, Jesus, and uh we thank you for for you, for your love, and for your word. We just pray a blessing on the people listening, pray a blessing on Craig and I and on this podcast. We just pray these things in Jesus' name, amen.

SPEAKER_05 1:41:43

Amen. I uh also thank you guys for listening. Uh, really appreciate you all. Uh we're somehow we have a listener in Hong Kong and a listener in Israel. I don't know how that happened, but super thankful for that. Um, so we're kind of we're spreading way further than we thought we would. And uh just a reminder, uh, this is uh, I mean, it's all possible through God, but it's definitely it's more possible if you guys share this with a brother that needs to hear it. And uh and send send us a text. We do have a text option in the call in the show notes if you don't have our numbers. Shoot us a text, let us know how you uh how you found the podcast. That'd be a cool story. Let us know what you're dealing with uh in life and and how your journey with Christ is going. And if you have any questions, uh ask us those as well. Uh, we'd love to uh tackle topics that you guys want to hear about. So yeah, thank you guys again, and we'll see you next week.