Ep. 13 - Fruit Of The Spirit: Self-Control

We close our Fruits of the Spirit series by unpacking self-control as the Spirit’s power to govern our desires, words, and actions. Love lays the foundation; self-control holds it all together and protects what matters most.

• reading Galatians 5 and 2 Peter 1 as the framework for virtue
• self-control as defensive strength that guards the heart
• Joseph’s escape and Cain’s fall as mirrors for modern temptation
• purity, pornography, and practical accountability for men
• rewards, works, and living with eternity in view
• walking by the Spirit to find the way of escape
• Titus 2–3 on training grace and modelling to the next generation
• replacing sinful rhythms with godly habits
• leadership starting at home and credibility in ministry

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Transcript

Kicking Off With A Self-Control Joke

SPEAKER_00 0:00

This is the Brotherhood. Men followed in faith. Warriors, fathers, sons, leaders, standing strong in a world that wants us weak. Welcome to the Brotherhood Podcast.

Craig 0:23

Welcome back to another episode of the Brotherhood Podcast, everybody. Got Craig here, me, and uh Colton as well, who's feeling a little under the weather today, so bear with him as he scratches through this episode. But he's here, he showed up. So um we are going to continue our series. We act this is actually the last episode in our series of the fruits of the spirit. So that is exciting. It's been a good journey. Thank you guys for listening. Um, it's been really good getting your guys' feedback and questions and conversations about these things, and um, it's just been really good. We've learned a lot, and um, we've had a lot of good conversations with you guys, and uh, even just between Colton and I, uh, even off the podcast, and it's it's just been really good. So uh we will read Galatians 5, 22 to 23 again as a reminder of where we've been, where we're at, and not where we're going anymore because we're done. But um before we get into it, last week I in I uh I introed with a bit of a joke, and I think I'd like to do that again. And you guys let me know if if you love it, if you hate it, uh if you don't want me to do it, if you want me to do it more. Um love your feedback. I think the joke is a little bit fun, gets us kind of going for the podcast, for the episode, and and helps you guys laugh a little bit too. So yeah, absolutely. Uh this is this is called the argument win. And it kind of goes along with our self-control episode. So um, a man says, I showed real self-control this week. This buddy asks how. And the guy says, My wife and I were having a disagreement. I could have won the argument, but I decided I didn't want to sleep on the couch.

SPEAKER_01 2:35

Oh that sounds uh that sounds above, right?

Reading Galatians And Setting The Theme

Craig 2:39

Yeah, exactly. So that guy is practicing self-control. Um, we'll get into the episode here and see how we can do the same. Um, so I will I'll start us off here by reading Galatians 5, 22, and 23. And then after that, uh Colton, I'll have you read our anchor verse, which I believe, if I wrote it downright, is 2 Peter 1, 3 to 11.

SPEAKER_02 3:08

Yes, that's what I have here too.

Craig 3:10

Yeah. Okay. Uh Galatians 5, 22 and 23. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such things there is no law. So, like I said, again, this is the last week. We are on self-control.

Wrong Passage, Right Lesson

SPEAKER_01 3:33

Yeah, and so uh, like we talked about, our anger verse this week, guys, is uh Second Peter one three to eleven. And it says, Above all, you must understand that in the last days scoffers will come, scoffing and following their own evil desires. They will say, Where is this coming? he promised. Ever since our ancestors died, everything goes on as it has since the beginning of creation. But they deliberately forget that long ago by God's word the heavens came into being and the earth was formed out of water and by water. By these waters also the world of that time was deluged and destroyed. By the same word the present heavens and earth are reserved for fire, being kept for the day of judgment and destruction of the ungodly. But do not forget this one thing, dear friends, with the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness, instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. But the day of the Lord will come like a thief, the heavens will disappear with a roar, the elements will be destroyed by fire, and the earth and everything done in it will be laid bare. Since everything will be destroyed in this way, what kind of people ought you to be? You ought to live holy and godly lives. You know what? What? Oh no, I did read the right one. I thought maybe I was reading the wrong passage. No, no, that is correct. So um I kind of like this verse. It reminds us that God is patient with us, that he loves us. Uh you know, and and goodness isn't produced by us, I don't think. That is something that is produced by the Holy Spirit in us, right? If we choose to follow the prompts of the Holy Spirit, I think um that is where the goodness in us comes from. It's definitely not from us. We're uh all humans are sinful and always will be until um you know until we get to heaven and that sin is removed. But I think, yeah, when when the Holy Spirit prompts us, that's where goodness comes from out of us. And I think that verse kind of touches on that a little bit too.

Craig 6:07

Yeah, I think it actually, yeah, it's really good. And again, this is one that Colton picked for us, so thank you for that. Just on the roll cooking our anchor verses. Um again, like our our fruit of the spirit, uh, all of it I think is evidence of a spirit-led life. Um and self-control, I believe, is not not only a behavior modification for us, um, it is in a worldly sense, but I also believe that it's uh discipline that's empowered, um, like powered through the Holy Spirit in us as well, and hence fruit of the spirit, right? Um and I think um I was kind of I was kind of thinking about this uh since we're kind of wrapping up our fruit of the spirit series. We've mentioned several times before that love is like the um the foundation of these fruit of the spirit, right? And I wonder if we can think of self-control as like the cap to it, like it that's what holds everything together is kind of how I were started to think about it. Um and yeah, Galatians 5, 22, 23 says self-control is a product of the spirit and not our own willpower. And then in that passage that Colton shared, 2 Peter, it like in 2 Peter 1, 3 to 4 specifically touches on that God has already given us everything we need for a life of godliness.

SPEAKER_01 8:13

You know what's funny?

Craig 8:14

What's that?

SPEAKER_01 8:15

I did read the wrong passage. Oh, what did you read? Three, chapter three, three to eleven. Oh, something wasn't making sense there. I knew it. Okay.

Craig 8:32

Okay, I wasn't following either. I was trying to get there, and then I had notes on like the three to four, so I wasn't really listening totally. Anyway, you can read it.

2 Peter 1:3–11 And The Ladder Of Virtue

SPEAKER_01 8:43

Well, we're gonna restart. I do apologize about that, guys. Um, it's been a bit of an off day, but uh we'll read the right passage here now. Second Peter chapter one, three to eleven. I got this. His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires. Which I find interesting because I think that's where self control is very important, is to avoid those evil desires. For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness, and to goodness knowledge, and to knowledge self control, and to self control perseverance, and to perseverance godliness, and to godliness mutual affection, and to mutual affection love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But whoever does not have them is nearsighted and blind, forgetting that they have been cleansed from their past sins. Therefore, my brothers and sisters, make every effort to confirm your calling and election, for if you do these things you will never stumble, and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. That one makes a bit more sense.

Craig 10:16

Yeah, that makes a lot more sense.

SPEAKER_01 10:22

So yeah, like I said was saying with the goodness, you know, the goodness comes from godliness, you know, as this passage says. Um for every re for this very reason, make every effort to add your faith, goodness, and to goodness, knowledge, and to knowledge, self-control, and to self-control, perseverance, and to perseverance, godliness. And uh and to godliness, mutual affection, and to mutual affection, love, which we've talked about lots, how everything I think ties back to or seems to tie back to love and to godliness, which is really interesting because I think for self-control, um that's where it comes from, too, is godliness and being more like God. I think it's where we learn to really have self-control.

Craig 11:12

Yeah. I think too, if uh it seems to me if you don't have love for other people, you're not gonna have self-control around them. Um in I guess suppressing your anger is what I'm thinking of, not necessarily of like um sexual sin or things like that, but um I get honestly, even that love for other people. If you think about uh pornography, even or or looking at someone like a different person that's not your wife with lust, that that woman is one of God's children, that's God's daughter, and you are um idolizing her in a sexual way. So if you're not loving her, right? Is that making sense? You tracking my thoughts here?

SPEAKER_01 12:08

Oh, absolutely. I am a hundred percent with you there, yeah.

Craig 12:12

Yeah, if you don't if you don't love that person, then you're going to sin against them and sin against God with a lack of self-control. So this is good. I you know, I really like doing this because you can study so much on your own and only get so far. And then when we start having a conversation and like with a back and forth like this, then I start to get different ideas, different thoughts, and I'm like, oh, this is good.

SPEAKER_01 12:45

So anyway, it's good to get different perspectives on you too. I think that makes a big difference.

Craig 12:52

Yeah, exactly. Um yeah, like I mentioned, um self-control is the thing that ties it, like it's the one fruit that ties everything together. Without it, all the other fruit fall, I think. Um, just like love is first because it's the foundation for all of the other ones. Uh, I think too many of us, um, correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think you will. Many of us know what we should do in certain circumstances, but we lack restraint um to do those things or not do those things.

Love As Foundation, Self-Control As Capstone

SPEAKER_01 13:38

Yeah. Yeah, I had a note in here um in my study Bible, it's got a note at the bottom that I wanted to quickly touch on. Uh it's based off of 2 Peter 1, verse 11, and it says, Rich welcome into the tr uh eternal kingdom. Uh Peter distinguishes between a just barely made at entrance into the eternal kingdom and a richly abundant one. The scripture indicates that fruitful and faithful living here will be rewarded by greater privileges and rewards in glory, uh, meaning in heaven. And then it references Revelation 22, verse 12. And so I think that's also a part of uh self-control. Uh, you know, the fruits of the Spirit I think are so important, not just this one or not just love or not just, you know, joy. I think it's all of them combined that are so important because you know, as this says, we're gonna be rewarded um according to those things when we I guess when we get to heaven. And I find that really interesting, you know. Growing up, I always thought uh, because I guess we were just always told you don't get to heaven by your works. And so for me, I never thought as I I guess I never thought of my works as being not my salvation, which they're not. Um but I guess I didn't really think about the fact that you know we still should be doing, you know, works for God because we're gonna get rewarded for that in heaven. It's not going to determine our uh it's not gonna determine if we're saved or not, but it, you know, it we're gonna get rewarded for it when we get to heaven with Jesus. And I think it was when was it? Last week, I think we were talking about that. Uh yeah. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm just kind of thinking out loud here, but there was something we had touched on where we had spoken about same, you know, same idea, just barely getting into heaven, you know, through the flames, just making it into the gates, kind of a thing.

Craig 16:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:05

I don't know if that's ringing a bell for you. I think we did, right? We discussed.

Craig 16:09

Uh I think it was last week, it might have been the week before. I'm not totally sure. But we did talk about that. Um you had some passage that was uh referenced a house, I think, and then if it catches like if it were to burn, um the owner would narrowly escape through the flames or something like that.

SPEAKER_01 16:35

I think that's a scary thing, though. Like you think about getting to heaven, and for me, I don't want to just barely make it in. No, you know, I I want to be confident in knowing that when my time comes, you know, I'll be face to face with God, and and Jesus will be able to say to me, Good, uh, well done, good and faithful servant, you know, to know that I will have done my job that I was called to on this earth. And um I think the problem is, like I've said many times before, we get so caught up with what's in front of our face, you know. We uh for me, I get caught up with my job, I get caught up with trying to save for you know the next big thing, trying to get an acreage, trying to, you know, trucks and toys and all this stuff that doesn't matter because a hundred years from now, I'm not gonna be here. You know, I'll be in heaven, so why not spend this short period? Uh and I mean I can't say much because I struggle with this too. We're all human, but why not spend our life here actually serving Christ the way that we're called to, knowing that when we get to heaven, we're gonna have an eternity with Jesus, you know? Like the Bible says, set your things, uh set your heart on the things above and not the things of the world. There's there's many, I think, privileges and blessings that come with serving God in this life, uh, a big part of which is self-control, too, right? Having the self-control to sit down, to read your Bible, to listen to podcasts, or to just worship God. I mean, uh self-control is a big part of all of that.

Purity, Lust, And Loving Others Well

Craig 18:23

Right. Um I was just that made me think of the the verse to I was just gonna try and look it up, but I'll just mention it. Um where your heart is, there your treasure will be also. Is that is that sound right?

SPEAKER_02 18:41

Yes. Yep.

Craig 18:44

I will just look it up and then listeners can. Yeah, I think it's not running on those lines. I don't know if that actually can go to the case. Uh Matthew 6 21. Where your heart is, there your treasure will be also. So that was I just pulled that from Google, so if that's not exactly how it's written. Um read your Bible. I don't know. Uh yeah. Um yeah, so yeah, those are really good. And I think there's gonna be some things mentioned, I think, um, in today's episode that were also referenced last week. Um my especially my I'm just looking at my notes, realizing that my first verse for the first segment here, what is self control, is something I also referenced last week.

SPEAKER_02 19:48

So Okay, perfect.

Craig 19:51

But I think like the the gentleness and self control is kinda tied together as well, seems like. I think they kind of are, yeah. Absolutely. So uh wrote here self-control is a spirit-empowered ability to govern our desires, impulses, words, and actions in in submission to Christ. Power of the Holy Spirit. Um, or it is using the power of the Holy Spirit to defeat the flesh is kind of how I decided to roughly define it. Um so, like I said, the first scripture reference I have here is Proverbs 25, 28, and this might spark uh your memory. A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls. Um, so self-control is kind of like a defensive strength. Um, it guards our heart from the enemy. And it's almost like kind of I don't know, it makes me kind of almost think of this. Is not totally tied together, but if you think of the matrix, like when when Neo can like slow things down, right? Okay, so he has time to react. I think it's kind of like self-control, like you kind of slow yourself down, and you're like, okay, now like make the right decision here, instead of just acting um at the speed of I don't know. You know what I'm trying to say.

SPEAKER_03 21:50

Wow, yeah, okay.

Craig 21:54

It's like a filter. Low down for a second. Um and then next one I have is first Corinthians nine, twenty four to twenty-seven. Says Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize. So run that you may obtain it. Every athlete exercises self control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. So I do not run aimlessly. I do not box as one beating the air, but I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified. I might as well I'll just read the next one as well, and then I have some couple talking points we can talk about. So Galatians. Galatians five. Oh, I don't need to read that. It's in our spirit. Yeah. Galatians 5.23. It is a gift of the spirit, um, and it is to be nurtured. Sorry, guys, we're a little it's not our regular day. Uh both of us have had crazy days. I don't even think I've told Colton about my crazy day. At some point, we might look at him with a podcast, or I'll talk about it after, but anyway.

SPEAKER_02 23:46

Um, exactly.

Rewards, Works, And Eternal Perspective

Craig 23:48

So, yeah, it is a fruit of the spirit and it is to be nurtured. So, like I said already, self-control is uh like a defensive strength that guards our heart from the enemy. Biblical self-control, I think, starts inside internally, before it ever shows externally. So, with um who wrote Galatians, Paul.

SPEAKER_01 24:16

That's a good question. I need to study up on that. I do not I'm not familiar with who wrote what book.

Craig 24:23

Yeah, Paul wrote it. So just as Paul wrote here, um he disciplines his body. Uh I might be. I don't know what I'm talking about. I was talking about first Corinthians. Did uh did Paul write first Corinthians? Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_01 24:58

That's a good question. I think.

SPEAKER_04 25:01

I think maybe I think he wrote a lot of the New Testament, if I'm not mistaken. Introduction to Corinthians, you guys listening are just screaming. Yes, yes, he did. Oh no, this person did.

SPEAKER_01 25:23

Yeah. Looks like he did, yeah. Uh author, Pauline, authorship of 1 Corinthians is almost universal accepted.

Craig 25:35

Yeah, the first word of 1 Corinthians state that Paul is the author.

SPEAKER_04 25:39

There's no good reason to doubt this. There you go. Okay.

Craig 25:42

So it was right. Paul.

SPEAKER_01 25:45

We got it. Sorry, guys. We're getting on track. Don't worry. We're getting there.

Craig 25:50

We are getting there. There, we are running our race. We might get off track a little bit.

SPEAKER_02 25:56

But we're running. Uh yeah, it's coming together.

Craig 26:00

Yeah. Okay, so what do you say? Uh, did it do? Yeah, he disciplines his body, keeps it under control. Um, I think that self-control is inward before the results show outward. I think is what I was trying to say with that note. And a lack of self-control. I don't know, especially for men. I'm a man. I don't have the experience of anything else. So a lack of self-control, a lack of self-control for men leaves us vulnerable emotionally, spiritually, and relationally.

Daily Life Distractions And Setting Hearts Above

What Is Self-Control Biblically

SPEAKER_01 26:46

Um I want to um I just want to touch on that for a second, actually, Craig. Sure. On my uh in my notes, so I wanted to read this Genesis uh 39, 7 to 12. A lot of you probably know the story, but I would like to read it anyways. Um it's not the whole story, but it uh it's Joseph and Potiphar's wife. And so, like I say, a lot of you probably know kind of a little bit what this is about, but I'm just gonna read uh verse seven to twelve. And it kind of goes along with what you're saying, Craig, with uh sexual sin and and self-control um and how that works. And then I got uh a bit of a story after this, I think that I would like to share as well. But uh Genesis 39, 7 to 11 will start there, or 7 to 12. And after a while his master's wife took notice of Joseph and said, Come to bed with me, but he refused. With me in charge, he told her, My master does not concern himself with anything in the house. Everything he owns he has entrusted to my care. No one is greater in this house than I am. My master has withheld nothing from me except you, because you are his wife. How then could I do such a wicked thing and sin against God? I like how he says sin against God and not to sin against his master. I really like that. And though she spoke to Joseph day after day, he refused to go to bed with her or even be with her. One day he went into the house to attend to his duties, and none of the household servants was inside. She caught him by his cloak and said, Come to bed with me, but he left his cloak in her hand and ran out of the house. And so for you guys that don't know the story, um, Potiphar's wife went to I think it was the guards or went to her husband with Joseph's cloak and made it look like Joseph had tried to sleep with her, basically kind of reversed the roles, and uh and Joseph got in trouble for this. But I want to talk about this because in this day and age, when it comes to sexual sin, and I know in our testimony um episode we had talked a little bit about it and how lust and and sexual sin, you know, pornography is uh I don't like to talk about it, but it is something that I personally struggle with. I know a lot of men do. And you you think about how this story says that Joseph didn't get asked once or twice, it was day after day this woman was trying to sleep with him, and uh to have the self-control to be able to stand up against that, I think in this day and age too would be you know very hard. Um I want to share a bit of a story though. So before I struggled with a lot of this stuff, I uh I was in high school, I think grade 11 or 12, and um there there was this girl that always uh always after school she'd bug me to, you know, might get a little personal here, so just hang on. She she always wanted me to take my shirt off, and I don't know, it was it was weird. Um and then I think it was after lunch one day, her and her friend came to my locker, and they wanted basically to have a threesome with me, is how they put it. And I of course I said no. I told them, you know, I'm not I'm not interested in that. I'm I don't want anything to do with that, and um you know I I really feel like God was with me, and He kind of I think as long as we rely on Him and we keep our eyes set on Him, He will give us the self-control to be able to say no to situations like that. Um you know, I it's a very touchy subject, right? Because I'm married now, I have kids, and it's still something I struggle with. It's something I feel guilty about, it's something that nobody deserves. Um you know, for me, I lack self-control in that area. Um and I I guess the reason I bring that up is because I look at the story of Joseph and Potiphar's wife, and what would have happened if Joseph would have lost self-control and just went ahead and done it. Like he could have lost his life over that, you know. And I think about in high school, if I would have agreed to what these girls wanted, how that would have messed my life up. And um I'm just thankful that God gives us the strength and the self-control to say no in those situations, you know. Even when you struggle with it, we still have the opportunity to say no. And it's not always easy to do. Um, and for myself, you know, I would never want to do anything that would hurt my wife or or my kids. Um, but that's you know, again, I think why a big reason why we decided to do this podcast is because we want to come together with men like us who struggle, maybe not with sexual sin, maybe they struggle with something else. Um, but to come together and strengthen each other and help to teach each other that there is a way out of uh this I guess addiction, if if that's what you want to call it. And we can we can succeed, we just yeah, we gotta get self-control back. So sorry, Craig. I don't I wanted to touch on that before we carried on there. I thought that kind of fit in there.

Craig 33:26

No, that's good, and I think uh just to let you guys as listeners know too. Um I think uh sexual sin, pornography, uh stuff like that, purity in general is something we would like to do kind of a deep dive on and do an episode for you guys as well, uh, at some point. Um and I know uh if you guys are on our Facebook page, I put a poll up there uh last week, and the actually well, I forget exactly what it asked, but it was um something like what is the biggest struggle for men today, or something like that. And uh, you know what I might do? I might just pull it up, and then I can have the reference. That sounds good.

SPEAKER_01 34:20

Like I said, I think a lot of people struggle within it. It's a hard thing to talk about, right? That's a very it's something very personal. Um, you know, even for me, I don't like to say it, I don't like to speak about it, but I've also heard that when you bring it out in the light, that's where your healing uh begins too. So and we're open to listening to people, you know. Um I'll be the first guy to say it. Yeah, I I struggle with pornography. And if people want to talk about it, if other people struggle with it, um another thing we're gonna touch on is we started a WhatsApp group as well, a prayer group, and uh some discussions on our podcast. So if you guys are struggling with the same things and you want to find healing from that, well feel free to message us on on uh WhatsApp. We'd love to start a group and you know have a bit of um what's the word? Have someone to check in with, I guess. So yeah, accountability.

Craig 35:30

Um I'm gonna try this and see what happens.

SPEAKER_03 35:36

Okay.

Defensive Strength: Proverbs And Athletics

Craig 35:38

Um this will this will serve as a visual for people watching the video once I get it up on YouTube. But uh as you can see, so the post says, There are many things we struggle with as men in today's world. It got me thinking, what do men in general think is the hardest thing we face? There are many other challenges that we run into as men, but these are just a few that I think are near the top of the list. And I said, take the poll and let us know your reasoning behind your choice. So the question is, what is the hardest thing for men today? So we've got discipline here with 33%, we've got purity with 51%, leadership 16%, and then consistency was the other choice that's got 0% uh votes on it. So as we talk about this, purity is one of the biggest things that we struggle with as men, and just with you guys on Facebook taking the poll, thank you for that, and uh, we can see that right there. It's uh definitely um kind of right in your face, I guess, for lack of a better term.

SPEAKER_01 36:57

One thing I want to mention about that too is the devil knows that, so he's gonna throw things in your way to make you stumble. You know, and for myself, I found my greatest victories to be in reading the Bible and replacing that with Jesus. When you wake up in the morning, think about God, think about Jesus, think about heaven, the Bible, the things of heaven. Um for me, that's yeah, that's where I found the most victory. But like we say, we're we're all in this together, you know, we're all sinners, but we want to create a group where we can help you guys, and I guess in the same sense, you guys can help us in that way too.

Craig 37:44

Yes, grow as brothers. Um and yeah, we can talk about it later too. But um I was looking up the Facebook, uh, I don't know what you said about the WhatsApp community. But um not much. Okay. Uh I'll mention it at the end of the episode here, guys. Uh, we'll just keep going um on our train of thought here with our with our topic, and then I'll mention uh how you can be a part of that community and what that takes, what it's all about. Uh, we'll do that at the end of the episode here. Um, so is that all you have for what is self-control?

Vulnerability, Pornography, And Joseph’s Escape

SPEAKER_01 38:33

I had one more quick thing I was gonna touch on. Okay. So you're you're done with that one. Yeah. Uh so one other thing, this is a pretty good example, I think, of what self-control is not, and part of what the consequences were because of a lack of self-control. Uh, again, this is in the book of Genesis. There seems to be a lot of really good examples of what self-control is and what it's not. So this is more so what it is not. Uh Genesis 4, six to eleven. Then the Lord said to Cain, Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do what it uh do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door, it desires to have you, but you must rule over it. Now Cain said to his brother Abel, Let's go out to the field. While they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him. The Lord said to Cain, Where is your brother Abel? I don't know, he replied, Am I my brother's keeper? The Lord said, What have you done? Listen, your brother's blood cries out to me from the ground. Now you are under a curse and driven from the ground, which opened its mouth to receive your brother's blood from your hand. When you work the ground, it will no longer yield its crops for you. We'll be a restless wanderer on the earth. Uh, I really like that passage when you look at it uh as what self-control is not, because even before Cain goes and kills Abel, God speaks to him and says, You need to rule over your sin. You know, sin is crouching at the door waiting for an opportunity like this, and that split second where you leave the door open and you lose your self-control, then this happens. You know, Cain kills Abel. And then the last part of this passage, uh was it here? Verse 11. It says, Now you are under a curse and driven from the ground, which opened its mouth to receive your brother's blood from your hand. When you work the ground, it will no longer yield its crops for you. You will be a restless wanderer on the earth. I think that's uh a really important port. Uh sorry, really important part of this passage because you know it's it's the consequences, um, maybe not of just losing self-control in itself, but of losing self-control and committing a sin by you know killing Cain's brother Abel. And it's not always gonna be the same circumstance or the same consequence that we're gonna get, but I think we can take a lot from that passage and just know that you know, to lose self-control, there are things that are gonna come with that. And it is so important to keep your self-control and to, you know, like I tell my oldest kid all the time, take a step back and take a breath, right? Think about it before you do it. Yeah, I really like that passage for this.

Craig 41:56

No, that's good. I like that. Um moving on to why is self-control important? Um I wrote here self-control determines our spiritual maturity, our credibility, and our longevity. Um I think as you build as you build self-control, um it uh I don't know what I'm trying to say. Long longevity.

SPEAKER_01 42:39

Um I think it builds just more of um a more valuable life.

Craig 42:47

Yeah. I think I like I don't know, I don't know why I put longevity there, but I think I just like the self-control determines our spiritual maturity and our credibility.

SPEAKER_02 43:02

I like that.

Craig 43:03

That's good. Um and then referencing uh part of our uh our anchor verse in 2 Peter 1 verses 5 to 8, it mentions that self-control is essential for a fruitful and effective faith. Um then I have Proverbs 1632 says whoever ignores oh sorry, that's 1532. Uh whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city. So there's another one that I mentioned, I think it was last week. Um so if you're slow to anger, if you've got self-control and you can hold yourself back a little bit, uh, you're better than the mighty. And if you can rule your spirit, you're better than or you're mightier than one who can take a city. So there's something to be said about that. And as we think about um men specifically, we want to be strong, we want to be, we want to be mighty, we want to be, we want to have strength and fervor and what whatever you want to call it, but oftentimes we show the greatest strength when we show restraint in circumstance certain circumstances, I think. Um yeah.

SPEAKER_01 44:39

I mean the first thing that comes to my mind is driving. Uh you have somebody cut you off, and what's the first thing that wow, I know the first thing I do. I get mad and then drive like I'm lost my brain. Yeah, not healthy, that is not self-control. Please do not follow my example for that.

SPEAKER_04 45:02

Yeah, I'm a great example of what not to do. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 45:08

Yeah, exactly.

Cain And Abel: When Self-Control Fails

Craig 45:11

Um well I was I have one more. Um so Romans 6 12 to 14, which I should have flipped through two while you were talking, but I didn't. Oh, that's all good. There we go. Romans six twelve to fourteen says, Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body to make you obey its passions. Do not present your members to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments for righteousness. For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace. Um my points here are uh self-control protects one, our marriages in a big way. Um our reputations uh in the workplace out in the community uh with different family members, even. Um and then for us specifically, but everyone has some sort of ministry. Um the home is the first mission field, so everyone's got some kind of ministry, but self-control protects your ministry as well. Um even if you just try to think of spiritual leaders in your life or people that lead ministries, um oftentimes they're pretty level-headed, right? They're not yeah, they they at least the ones I think of anyway, they're they're pretty level-headed, they um they're slow to anger, they're pretty patient, and they exhibit the fruits of the spirit pretty well, I think. Um, and I think if you if you have someone that doesn't exhibit those things, I think that ministry would just fall apart. Um and uh lack of self-control will lead us to moral failure um and broken trust. Um I just have a um a note here too that says um a man who cannot say no to himself, I don't think he can say yes to God consistently either. Um if you're saying if you're if you're saying yes to yourself before you're saying yes to God, you're not saying no to yourself, um like we're we're meant to die to ourselves, right? Um so we can live in Christ. So we must we must uh say no to ourselves, to our uh selfish, sinful desires, and say yes to God instead. Um and then self-control keeps us from being ruled by emotions, appetites for different things. Um I know appetite makes you think of food or it makes me think of food.

SPEAKER_02 49:05

Think about spiritual food.

Craig 49:06

Where you go? Yeah, think about spiritual food, but yeah, have an appetite for spiritual food instead of an appetite for for sin. Yeah. Um that also uh having self-control also helps us from being ruled um by culture as well. There's just so much stuff going on in the world right now, you get torn this way and that way, and um excuse me. I just yeah. You want to hear it, let me know. But uh the progressive Christianity or charismatic Christian um movements, um, I think those are like a quote unquote culture. Um and progressive Christianity, I believe, leans more worldly than it does Christ-like. Um, so that is that's people that are trying to put Jesus in a in a in their own box, put God in their own box, and try to um make him fit their ideas rather than us um conforming to Christ, if that makes sense. That that's something I don't I want to dig into, and uh I think it's uh I think it's relevant and I think we should talk about it. I don't know if I've mentioned that to you yet or not, but I did add it to our list of potential episodes.

SPEAKER_01 50:57

Yeah, we got a pretty good list going already. There's a lot of things that we would like to we'd like to talk about that are um like we'd mentioned before, some of the harder topics in life that maybe we don't feel um we've learned enough about. There's a couple of those in there, but also topics that we think uh as Christians we shouldn't be we shouldn't be shying away from. You know, we need to, you know, we we've talked a lot about gentleness, self-control, being being patient, which is good, but there's also a time where we as Christians need to stand firm in the faith and be bold and speak not what we not what we think the truth is, but what the Bible teaches the truth is. And uh and so a lot of the episodes we would uh like to dig into, I think, have to do with that and just being more still being loving, still being uh gentle, but being direct in what the Bible teaches on these topics. Speaking of which, actually, I think we were gonna touch base on something we had spoken about last week there uh with Jesus in the temple. Remember how we were talking about him flipping tables and stuff? Yes, I think we were gonna touch on that, but maybe we should we can maybe wait till the end of the episode for that.

Why Self-Control Protects Marriage, Reputation, Ministry

Craig 52:28

Sure. If you want to, do you have it wrote down? Because I forgot. But I was gonna actually reference what was talked about in the WhatsApp chat, but I I don't have that up in but if I look on my phone and I have my my pretty stuff in the background.

SPEAKER_01 52:46

Um I don't have it written down anywhere. I think it's on my on my phone. I think basically we had just come to the conclusion that uh not every situation calls for gentleness.

Craig 53:03

Or that's I think that's the basis of the of the conclusion and what some of the guys in that group had uh had mentioned as well. I think that's our our general consensus is that uh I think and we'll talk about this uh we'll do like a wrap-up episode after this and kind of go through just quickly run through all the creats of the spirit and kind of our key points and stuff like that for each one. But or I think uh that's what I was thinking anyway.

SPEAKER_01 53:35

Yep, no, I think that's good if we do that and then uh an intro into the next kind of what we're looking into from there, I think.

Craig 53:44

Yeah, we'll do that next week. Um but what was I what did you say? You're talking about the the what's uh oh the the flipping tables. Okay, the I could have retracked uh so the fruit of the spirit, I think, are not all present at the same time, is kind of what I'm gathering. Um and like you said, there there's time there's time to show gentleness, um, and there's time to there's a time when it's also time to get a little rough. So yeah.

SPEAKER_01 54:30

And I think there's still self-control in that, but I think right. I don't think I know Jesus acted out in in the right way because you know it was a righteous anger, which again, not every situation calls for for gentleness. Um yeah, I mean I think it's fairly simple, very uh sorry, fairly simply put that way.

Craig 54:58

Right. So I think uh if we're talking about uh Jesus uh driving people out and flipping tables in the temple, I believe he had self-control, which we're talking about today, but maybe he wasn't super gentle. He he was kind of angry. Um but yeah, it's because the the merchants were taking up space for people to worship in in his father's house, and rightfully so, he was angry. So get out of here.

SPEAKER_01 55:34

So yeah, something not to do. Yeah, don't use the father's house for something it wasn't designed for.

Craig 55:43

No, that's right. Um do you have any more for that?

Culture, Movements, And Holding To Scripture

SPEAKER_01 55:56

Uh just a quick point, actually. So with this question, why is self-control important? I went back to uh the verse I or the sorry the passage I just read, Genesis 4, 6 to 11. But I pulled out Genesis 4 verse 7. And it says, if you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do what is sorry, do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door. It desires to have you, but you must rule over it. And one thing I've been noticing just in this episode is there's been a lot of uh passages that talk about sin wanting to rule over us, sin wanting to basically crush us and take us and hold us down. And I think that's been a pretty common theme uh today that I've just noticed in some of the passages that you shared, Craig, and uh a few of the passages that I've read too. And so self-control is important because without it, um sin isn't crouching at the door, sin is laying on top of you or dragging you down in a sense, right? If you can have self-control and turn from the sin that that crouches at your door, you know, then I think you're gonna find a lot more victories in life rather than losing self-control and just giving in all the time. Um, so why is it important? I think self-control is important because ultimately it leads us to be more like Christ. Uh, it leaves leads us to live more godly lives, and I think with self-control, a lot of people are gonna notice that, and I think it's a great way to witness to people and show the love of Christ just in our actions in that way.

Craig 57:54

Yeah, I agree. It's not easy, but it does show that, like I was saying with the spiritual leaders, people that have um ministries or whatever that I know, and they are man, they're they are the epitome of the fruit of the Holy Spirit. Outwardly, I know if you talk to them, they'd be like, Man, I am not perfect, I struggle with this, this, this, and this, but if like they present them, they present themselves as godly, and I appreciate that. Um, yeah. Okay. So the third question is how do we get self-control? Sticking with the same structure here, guys. We'll probably change things up once we're done for the spirit series. But uh, this works really good for what we're trying to accomplish here. So um the core thing I have here. I'm gonna read it out loud again and see if I want to change it again like I did last time. Uh so uh self-control is developed through submission, discipline, and daily dependence on the spirit. Yes, I still like that.

SPEAKER_02 59:13

I like that very well.

Righteous Anger And Jesus In The Temple

Craig 59:17

Um Galatians 5 uh 16 and 17, just before our uh our uh fruit of spirit there. This is in the same uh section that in my Bible says keep in step with the spirit says, but I say walk by the spirit and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the spirit, and the desires of the spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other to keep you from doing the things you want to do. Um so walk by the spirit and you will not gratify the flesh is uh a key takeaway there. Um 1 Corinthians 10 13. So I kind of had three um uh what am I doing? I had three verses like per section here. Oh my gummy. Okay, yeah. Just so you guys know I don't know what I'm doing. First Corinthians ten we'll get there one day. Ten thirteen. First Corinthians ten thirteen says No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape that you may be able to endure it. So I think um I wonder if this is the uh where people derive the God won't give you anything you can't handle kind of thing. But it's not only that, it's not only that, but it's he gives us a way out. Um so it's in a way it's he he gives us he doesn't give us anything we can't handle, but he is the way out. So if we try to do it on our own, I don't think we can handle it by ourselves. That's what I gather.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:00

Um I kind of wonder too, like with that verse, if it because I heard something on this the other day, some I don't remember where, but I had heard uh a guy speaking about it and how um certain people in the Bible were given more than they could handle, and I man, I wish I knew how it went right now, but I think like for me, I wonder if part of that verse is God doesn't give us more than we can handle with the spirit in us.

Craig 1:02:33

Yeah, that's not that's not what it said, but it did say that he provides a way out, so that I think is the Holy Spirit.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:41

Yeah. Yeah, I I think that's an interesting verse, and there's a lot of study, I think, that could be done on that. Because that's what I've always you know, I've always understood it to be, you know, the same thing where God will never give us more than we can handle. And then I heard this guy talking on it here a few days ago, and I'm like, it kind of made sense what he was saying, how there's people in the Bible who were given more than they could handle, but I don't know, they pulled through. I'm trying to remember who he was talking about. I wish I could, but Job. I think sometimes these verses are overcomplicated too, though, right?

Craig 1:03:25

They get they can get that way if we try to think too hard on them on our own, and even sometimes we can take those verses out of context as well if we're not careful. And then we just try to make yeah, we try to make things up that we think might be right. But if you read them in context, if you do your you know, proper hermeneutics, uh study the actual whole passage, who's the author, who are they writing to, what you know, what was going on in that time, like all that, all that good stuff. It's not just reading it and um, you know, I can do all things through a verse out of context, taken out of context.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:07

What uh what passage was that? Because my Bible puts that a little differently, I think, than what you have.

Craig 1:04:13

Okay, you can go ahead and read it. It is yeah, 1 Corinthians 10 13.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:20

Because I I had memorized this verse at one point, 1 Corinthians 10 13.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:25

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:26

And I'll tell you kind of why I was yeah, I'll just I'll read it here. No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful, he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it. So I think it says it a little differently than yours, hey.

Craig 1:04:52

That is pretty close. I left that spot.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:54

Um, what uh what version are you reading out of?

Craig 1:05:00

The ESV. Let's see here. If we just take a minute, I can.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:08

I'm just kind of curious, yeah.

Craig 1:05:10

Yep, I'll reread it here. What was it? 1013. No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation, he will also provide the way of escape that you may be able to endure it. Okay.

Sin Crouching At The Door And Ruling It

SPEAKER_02 1:05:36

So it is pretty close. It's a little different, but it's pretty close.

Craig 1:05:40

Yeah. My I haven't read this, I'll just read it out loud and we'll see where it goes. My uh footnote or commentary, whatever you want to call it here in the study Bible, it says Um, so we'll not let you be tempted beyond your ability. Uh we'll also provide a way to way of escape. Even when Christians face uh morally confusing situations, they should never think that they have no options other than sinful ones. There will always be a morally right solution that does not require disobedience to any of God's moral laws.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:18

That's actually put very well. So, yeah, that's pretty good. I like that.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:25

Okay, we can move on. Alright. I was just curious.

Craig 1:06:30

No, that's good. Uh, it's it's good back and forth, and it's good to if you guys are listening. If you if you're not driving, pull out your Bible.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:41

And if you are, make sure it's a dark so nobody can see you.

Craig 1:06:44

Yeah, no, don't do that.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:46

Pull out your Bible and read it.

Craig 1:06:47

Put it in the dark in the dark with your laser vision. Yes. Okay, Titus 2, 11 to 12. Oh man. So do you have that?

SPEAKER_02 1:07:02

I have Titus 2 the whole chapter.

How To Grow Self-Control: Walk By The Spirit

Craig 1:07:05

Oh, okay. I'm gonna touch on 11 and 12, and then you can read it later. You betcha. Okay, so for the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawless lawlessness and to purify himself, a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works. What did I say? I said eleven and twelve, and I read eleven or fourteen. Whatever. Anyway, perfect. So uh okay, so I have so practical steps here. I have actually we've maybe no, we'll do that after you talk about it. So my talking points for this are uh effort is required, but power comes from God. So, like he doesn't give us anything on our own, but um he is our way out. Self-control grows through uh repetition, and spiritual growth is intentional, not accidental. Something we gotta um we gotta do. And again, with uh always with the how do we get it? It's a fruit of the spirit. You need the Holy Spirit. Um, can't have it otherwise. Not true self-roll, yeah. Not true self-control. You can you can mask it, you can have a quasi version, whatever you want to call it. Uh a teamu, teamu version of self-control. Love it, but we got the name brand. That's right. Yeah. Okay. Uh, I think that's it, other than my practical steps that I have, which I will just go over once you're done, and then we can move on to closing out the episode.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:33

Yeah, you betcha. So uh, like I said, I have Titus 2 kind of written down. That's something I found um to fit self-control quite well. Uh, a couple of verses that Craig touched on I have as well. I think those are very important. Um, but I'll start off with uh Titus 2, verse 6, that says, similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled. Uh in everything, so okay, verse 7, 2. In everything, set them an example by doing what is good in your teaching. Show integrity, seriousness, verse 8, and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us. So I like how it says similarly, encourage young men to be self-controlled. I think there's something to take from this. Um, as elderly or as you know, older people in the church, older people in the family of Christ, I think um showing self-control is important because it teaches the young men who are coming up. Um, I guess to kind how'd I say this, not to take your place, but coming up in the church and and building to where God has called them in the church or in the family of Christ. So self-control, um, I think we get it by following what our elders are doing, what they're they're teaching us, showing us, you know, true children of Christ who live and act like Jesus did, and who portray self-control um quite well. And I actually I know a lot of people like that who I really admire and look up to. And um when you admire somebody, you know, you yeah you somewhat have a desire to sorry, my phone's going off here and getting time and stuff for work. Sorry, guys. Anyways, um yeah, what was I saying? I think basically self-control is just important, it's it's a good way to get it is to look up to your elders, and uh, elders a good way to teach it is to live it and to um show the young men how to be self-controlled. And then I had verse 11 to 14 in there as well. I'm not gonna read it because you touched on it a bit, Craig, but um basically I think we get self-control by realizing that we have been set free from sin by the blood of Jesus Christ dying on the cross. And uh what I had written down is freed from sin to glorify God with good works. It's kind of what I had written down is how we get um self-control. And then I had all of Titus chapter three. Chapter three. You know what?

God’s Way Of Escape And Real Accountability

Craig 1:12:48

Titus, I think, is a slept on book. Like it's not very big, there's not very much to it, but man, it is jam-packed full of gold nuggets.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:02

It yeah, sure is. I've never done a whole lot of reading or a whole lot of memorizing out of Titus, but now that you say that, and we're looking in there, like, there's a lot of good stuff in here. Rebuking those who fail to do good, that's one of the headings. Sorry, I'll quickly read my chapter three, and then we can talk about that. So don't get you know down a rabbit trail somewhere. Okay, uh chat, I'll read three verse one to eleven. It says, Saved in order to do good. Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready, to do whatever is good, uh to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and always be gentle toward everyone. At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another. But when the kindness and love of God, our Savior, appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done. Oh man. That's me.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:11

That was a good one.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:12

Yeah, we're hanging in there, guys, almost done. Okay. Uh but because of his mercy, he saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs, having the hope of eternal life. This is a trustworthy saying, and I want you to stress these things so that those who have uh trusted in God may be careful to devote themselves to doing what is good. These things are excellent and profitable for everyone. But avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels about the law, because these are unprofitable and useless. Warn a divisive person once, and then warn them a second time. After that, have nothing to do with them. You may be sure that such people are warped and sinful, they are self-condemned. And so basically, I had written down to do good because of his mercy and being saved. So again, realizing we are saved and just accepting the fact that we can try to act like Jesus, realizing we never will be a hundred percent like him, but just trying to mirror uh the the characteristic of self-control in Jesus that he displayed when he was on earth. And so I guess that would be my answer on how to get it.

Craig 1:15:49

Yeah, that's good. Yeah, model Jesus. That's a Sunday school answer.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:54

No, good answer. That's right. We could use that for everything.

Titus 2–3: Train, Model, And Do Good

Craig 1:15:59

Yeah, that's right. Um, so I like I said, I do have some practical steps here, but first, um what you were talking about earlier. I forget what you were saying, but it made me think of um 1 Corinthians chapter 11, verse 1, which says, be imitators of me as I am of Christ. So, oh, I think you were talking about the um modeling to the youth and the younger generation coming up. Yeah, and like what you just said, we need to be um we need to be imitators of Christ. Um I think we're just thinking through this. I wonder if our in our younger years um we should model uh like Paul says here, model our elders, model the spiritual leaders in our life as they imitate Christ, or imitate them as they imitate Christ. And then I wonder if we get to a point where we've grown in our faith enough, and we've been in the word enough, and we've grown in the Holy Spirit enough that we can now um move to being imitators of Christ, and then the next generation becomes imitators of us as we imitate Christ.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:30

Does that make sense?

SPEAKER_01 1:17:33

Yeah, I've never really thought about it that way, but you know me neither. I think about when I was a kid and and I had a lot of youth leaders, you know, I really looked up to, and there's still a lot of um people I look up to in the church or in the family of Christ, but yeah, that's an interesting question. I think you have to be careful with that too though, because there's a lot of Christians who um they'll say they're Christians, but they don't their lives don't a hundred percent display uh I mean nobody a hundred percent looks like Christ in the way they live, but uh there's you know they'll be like claim they're Christians and then during the week they're a totally different person, right? So I think we would have to be a little bit careful there too that we wouldn't imitate older, you know, the people of the next generation if they're not in line with what Christ is teaching.

Craig 1:18:42

Right. I think that's yeah. I was just gonna say, I think that's kind of what I'm saying is there comes a point, there comes a point in our in our faith journey where we see that. We are cognizant of that, and we're like, hey, as men, we are all fallible, and you know, we we are not we are not Christ. We can imitate him, but we will never do it perfectly. So you go from being a quote unquote baby Christian, imitating the ones that come before you, and then there's there's almost that shift where you're like, okay, now I know like he's doing the best he can over there with what he's got, but he's still a man, he is not Christ. I need to now shift my focus to following, be an imitator of Christ, and then you're gonna have people come after you that were in the same position that you were in before that shift in um thinking, if that makes sense.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:53

I think so, yeah. And I think like when it comes to that, I think it all starts like you were. Saying before in our households, and we as men need to stand up and be firm in our faith so that our kids growing up in our houses can look up to their dad and say, Yeah, my dad is a Christian, he loves Jesus and he lives like he loves Jesus. You know, but not teach them to maybe necessarily follow us, but teach our kids that, you know, I want you to follow what I'm doing in this situation because Jesus calls us to do things this way, you know, or tell our kids, you know, I do things this way because of Jesus, because of what the Bible teaches. That's why I live like this or I do this. Right? I think relating all of that back to Christ and teaching our kids that um it's because of Him that we live the way we do, I think uh is important. But I think it starts, like I said, in the household with the dads um teaching the kids, you know, showing them, teaching them what it means to be uh a Christian, to be Christ-like.

Imitating Christ And Leading At Home

Craig 1:21:08

Right. Yeah, I think that's right. Like I kind of mentioned earlier, there our home is our first mission field. Um we have to teach our kids first, and our kids will be those people that are trying to imitate us, and like you said, it's our responsibility to imitate Christ so that they imitate us as we imitate Christ. Um, yeah, yeah. So some practical steps um that I have are that uh to submit daily to the spirit. Um you can't crucify the flesh once and be done. We are called to uh take up our cross daily, right? And follow Him. Um practice spiritual disciplines like prayer, reading the Bible, being in the Word, um, and accountability, like we mentioned, even with if if you're in our WhatsApp community, great. If not, come on in. We'll talk, we'll uh give you instruction on how to get there once we're finished here. Um, but that's a good source of accountability as well. And then uh remove what feeds your flesh, so you can't pray away what you refuse to starve, which I think is kind of a good saying. Um so you can't like I've struggled too, like you said, um, with just if you're thinking about sexual sin, pornography, stuff like that, you're just defeated after, and you're like, why do I keep doing this? And you pray, like, please take this from me, and sometimes you'll do good for a while, and then you'll slip up again. It just sucks. But you need to you find a way to starve that desire, um, not just through prayer, but through taking action as well. Um that kind of makes me think of this isn't really like a self-control thing, but uh you think about that story or that joke or whatever it is, this guy's uh forget if he's stranded on an island or whatever, he's out in the water, and uh he prays God, please rescue me, like take care of me, take like get me home. And then uh uh a ship comes by, says, Hey, do you need help? And the guy's like, No, uh, God will take care of me. Then another boat comes by, cruise ship or army ship, whatever it is, comes by, hey, do you need help? The guy goes, No, God will take care of me. So they leave. Anyway, the guy dies, gets up to get to up to heaven gate, heaven gate, heaven's gates, and uh I can't talk. And he says, God, why didn't you save me? God's like, I sent you like three different ships, and you didn't take them. Like I guess this kind of goes to like God providing us a way out of our sin and our um different circumstances, doesn't give anything we can't handle, but he provides us a way out. But if we don't take that way out, then we live in that sin.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:46

So yeah, a free will is a big part of that, right?

Craig 1:24:52

Yeah, he's not gonna force us, um, but he'll provide us a way, and we just have to take it.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:59

And uh again, where it comes to self-control to be able to say no to the sin, turn your back and walk down the path God has provided for you.

Practical Steps: Starve The Flesh, Build Rhythms

Craig 1:25:08

Right. And then uh I think this is big to like this kind of you could put this into like I hear a lot about this in like self-help books and stuff like that. But if you're trying to create good habits, um, or you're trying to even get rid of bad habits, you can't just get rid of your bad habit, you have to replace it with something that's good, right? You can't just remove it because then there's a void there of okay, what you are either gonna fill it with something else, you're gonna go right back to that thing you were doing that you don't want to do. Um self-control grows when um I get I put godly rhythms replace sinful ones. So if you're replacing those, like if you're if you're in a kind of a sin pattern, you have a schedule that allows for that sin to keep happening and keep happening, keep happening, um, shake it up, you know, do change your schedule a little bit, or when you're um thinking those thoughts, just for men, purity, you like the pornography is the easiest thing to go to to talk about with these things. Um, because I know um, I mean I don't know for sure, but I'm pretty sure most of you guys are gonna know what we're talking about. Um but if you're if you're having those thoughts and you and you're and you're gonna do it, and I mean I'm not always the best at it, but I I think Colton mentioned this too. Like you when you're having those thoughts or you want to do that thing, go to scripture. There's you can click on your Google browser, or you can click on your Bible app and make the decision. And sometimes it's a hard one, and sometimes you just nope, I'm gonna just go my own way, and then I mean, hopefully afterwards you feel um awful because I know I do anyway. Um yeah, so effort is required by us, but the power ultimately comes from God and the Holy Spirit. Self-control go grows through repetition uh as well. So you keep keep doing the right thing instead of the wrong thing, and eventually it will become a habit. Spiritual growth is intentional, it's not accidental. So if you're trying to grow closer to God, um closer to you know, walk in a certain way, then you have to be intentional about that. It's not gonna happen by accident. Um yeah, so uh closing to close out uh 2 Peter 1 uh 10 to 11. Colton read it earlier. Um we need to confirm our calling and election. Uh and then 1 Corinthians 9 um 25.

SPEAKER_04 1:28:38

I am in 1 Corinthians already, so that's perfect.

Craig 1:28:44

Um I've already read this, but every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do not uh they do it to receive a perishable wreath, perishable crown, that Olympic crown we've talked about before. Um, but we strive for an imperishable one, eternal life. So we should be even more dedicated. Because our reward is eternal and will not wither or fade. Um, yeah, and just to encourage you guys, it's not about perfection. We know that we're not perfect. I can guarantee you you're not perfect. Don't kid yourself. Umly one who was yeah, um, but uh just walking daily in faithful obedience to the Lord and to what the Holy Spirit calls us to do, be in tune with that, and to do that, we've talked about it before, we need to be in daily in the word and through prayer. Um yeah, and I think just talking about these things, they say it sounds like a bunch of rules of do this, do that, but discipline and self-control in our lives, I think it actually creates freedom, not restriction. Like you like it is kind of like hey, we need to restrain ourselves, but through that restriction we are freed. And I've heard it said before that um like at the giving our life to the Lord, we are freed. Um we're freed from sin, but not to sin. So yeah, I think that's a good thing. I heard that this week too. I I really like that. That's an important distinction, yeah. Um so some questions for you guys. Uh just to evaluate yourselves. Uh where am I lacking restraint? Um what needs to be submitted to the spirit? And who is holding me accountable? So you can't no man is an island either. I think that's a verse. Heard it before. I'm not sure about that one.

SPEAKER_01 1:31:24

I don't know.

Craig 1:31:25

No.

SPEAKER_01 1:31:26

Um it's not ringing any bells right now, but like I say, it's been an off day, so my bells aren't hanging very high today.

Craig 1:31:35

Okay, uh I'll just look it up. It is Romans 143.

SPEAKER_02 1:31:46

Oh, no.

Craig 1:31:54

Um Google says for uh fourteen four what fourteen seven Okay, for none of us lives to himself, and none of us dies to himself. What that's not it wrong one, what's going on? Okay, that's not a verse.

SPEAKER_04 1:32:24

Oh not that I can see.

WhatsApp Community, Poll Results, Next Steps

Craig 1:32:33

I think I got it from a song like no man is an island, he can be found. But okay, it's uh it's not an actual verse, it's implied by multiple verses. Um anyway, we're we're not to do it alone anyway. Let's try this one.

SPEAKER_04 1:33:00

Hebrews ten twenty-four to twenty-five Hebrews ten, twenty-four to twenty-five.

Craig 1:33:15

And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another and all the more as you see the day drawing near. So there you go, encourage one another is important. Accountability, that's what I was getting at. Um like it, yeah. So, I guess before we close out in a prayer, um, like we said, we kind of mentioned a couple times in the episode um teasing you guys, but um we have started a WhatsApp community. There is three chat groups in there. Um there is a general discussion, and that is just um let me get my descriptions here actually.

SPEAKER_04 1:34:29

I might not have it in my Google Docs once I can.

SPEAKER_02 1:34:33

Here, I can I think I got it up here.

SPEAKER_01 1:34:37

So we have our general discussion, there's a prayer room, and then there's a podcast discussion um that we have been inviting people to. Well, Craig has. I haven't got there yet. Work in progress.

Craig 1:34:54

Yeah, that's okay. Um, yeah, so uh basically the the general discussion is just general stuff. Uh talk about life and uh maybe some some things that you've seen. I shared in there the other day. I seen there was like a Bible quiz that somebody put together. They have a website, it's free. You can go anywhere basically in the Bible, Old Testament, New Testament. Um, you can go specific chapters, books. But it looks really cool. Anyway, I shared that in there. Thought those guys would like it, but we do have some guys in there already, so I appreciate you guys jumping in early. We did like a little bit of a soft launch and I kind of invited some guys. I wanted to kind of get the ball rolling there. Um, we got a couple prayer requests already in the in the prayer room, and then of course the podcast discussion. Uh, that's goodwill. That or that's good as well. That's goodwill.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:54

That's goodwill as.

Closing Prayer And Final Blessing

Craig 1:35:56

Yeah, that's goodwill as. And uh uh, it's been good. Uh last uh I guess I I guess I kind of launched that thing and invited people on uh last Tuesday when the last episode dropped, right? Or like even the day before, maybe, and then and then the episode dropped, and then I dropped it in there so people could go check it out, and then uh someone commented in there like, hey, great episode, and then you know, um, and there was some discussion about it, and uh it's really good. I think uh it's a way that we can connect with each other and grow, uh help each other grow. And uh yeah, podcast thing that you guys can put uh put any topics, topic ideas in there if you want, and um ask questions about recent episodes, actually any episode, but um yeah, I think it'd be really good. Uh if you guys want to jump in there, we'd love to have you. Reach out to us if you have our numbers, dm us on Facebook, um, if you have us on Facebook, or even just the page to like the Brotherhood uh podcast Facebook page. If you just DM us, that will come to both Colton and I, and we can get you sorted. And uh it is it is for men only though. So, ladies listening, um you have to request access. And if I see that you're a lady, sorry you're not invited. Uh we appreciate you listening. Um, we love you, but uh yeah, this is just for men, and this is uh this is a place for us men where we can get uh vulnerable if we need to. Um prayer requests are not to be shared, um unless explicitly yeah, unless requested, unless specifically said, or if you ask people, hey, can I share this? Um I've thought about the one that was mentioned in there um about asking, like, hey, can I share this at church at least, or like at prayer meeting or whatever. Um, especially when we get kind of deep and if we start talking about this pornography stuff and people are like, hey, I'm struggling. We don't want that stuff to get out to anybody. So um unless unless those guys are open to it. Um but yeah, that's kind of the only caveat there. But I think this is a great start to um the rest of the kind of ministry idea that Colton and I have for this Brotherhood um project. I'm really excited about it, and uh I just I just kind of threw it together because I was like thinking about it that day, and I'm like, if I don't do it now, I'm not gonna do it. And so I just did it. And so yeah, Colton's been busy, he hasn't invited many people or hasn't invited anybody yet, but that's okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:39:02

Um yeah, yeah, we'll so we'll get there. It's been uh it's been a pretty busy week and lots going on, so yeah, we'll uh yeah, we'll hopefully be able to build the group. And um I think what we're gonna do, guys, next week, we are gonna do a bit of a recap on the fruits of the spirit that we've uh just finished up, and then we're going to do a bit of an introduction on what the next few topics are gonna be. Um, I don't think we're 100% sure ourselves yet. That's still kind of um in the process of figuring out. So, again, if you guys have any requests, now would be a great time to put them in um on the Facebook page, on the WhatsApp group, um, or if you guys have our number, get a hold of one of us. Let us know something that you would like to hear about, and uh, we'd love to go over that with you. Uh Um we'll be probably next week. I would think we'll kind of have an idea what we're what we're looking at. So we'll probably within the next five to seven days, I think we'll um try and come up with a plan of uh direction. So if you guys want to get some ideas in and you want to start start us off, um yeah, get them in within the next five to day uh five to seven days and we can uh definitely do some looking into that and and start us off that way.

Craig 1:40:30

Yeah, that is correct. And actually, by the time you guys are listening to this, um, if we haven't talked about it, we'll we'll probably mention it in our uh WhatsApp community. But um, if you're not in there and you're listening to this just on the podcast, then you have um you have like a couple days because this'll this'll drop Tuesday and then we plan to record Thursdays. So you have a couple days to get your requests in. Um, and we may be we may be decided already at that point. So if you want kind of first dibs on on uh on episode ideas, get in that get in that WhatsApp community, reach out to us, we'll get you in there. We'd love to have you. Um with that, I think we can probably close in prayer and uh bid you all adieu until next week.

SPEAKER_02 1:41:33

That's right.

Craig 1:41:35

Um okay, you're kind of you're hurting there, you're hurting Albertin, so I will I can close the forest today if you'd like. Sure, that sounds good. Okay, awesome. Father, we just want to show so much gratitude uh to you uh for our ability uh to do this again. Like every week we say this, but truly, Lord, we thank you for the technology to be able to do this. Um being remote like this, different cities where Colton and I can uh come together and have a discussion um about things about you, about uh your word, and just kind of flesh things out, flesh out some ideas and and uh see what you have to say to us. And I just pray for Colton especially. He's uh he's ailing at the moment. Let's pray that you um help him get better quickly, uh, so he can do the things that he needs to do as uh as a father and as an employee and as a husband. And uh Lord, I just pray that you would open our eyes as men to opportunities where we might need to show a little more self-control. Um, whether that's addiction in our lives, whether that's um anger, whether that's um just different different disciplines that that we might be lacking in that we might need to show some self-control. Help us to see those, and then ultimately lean on you to help us through those because we cannot do it on our own. Um, I thank you for each person listening. Um, pray that you bless them in a special way this week. And uh I just pray that these words that you've given us uh for this episode would reach the ears that need to hear them. But I pray that hearts would be softened um to your love and your word. And um just pray that as we go from here to our regular jobs and regular lives, that you would give us opportunity to be a light for you. And just thank you for this platform you've given us. Thank you for the group that we've started on WhatsApp. Um, thank you for those men and pray that we would be able to build a special bond with each other, um, that we could help each other grow in our faith and in living for you. And each person has um different lives and we interact with different people. Um just help us to be a light for you in each circumstance uh wherever we go. And just pray these things in Jesus' name, amen.

SPEAKER_04 1:45:00

Amen.

Craig 1:45:02

I could go on forever. Anyway. All right, thank you guys for listening. Um I guess peace be with you and uh God bless. Have a week. See you soon.