2. Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy with Dr. Monika Sharma

In this episode of Say Hello to Your Therapist podcast, we welcome Dr. Monika Sharma, a seasoned psychologist who specializes in helping professionals, caregivers, and single women transition from burnout to balance. Dr. Sharma shares her journey into the field of psychology, delving into her personal experiences and the driving forces behind her career choice. The conversation sheds light on the inner workings of running a therapy practice and explores the intricacies of hypnosis, its applications, and common misconceptions. Dr. Sharma also discusses her approach to holistic health, integrating mental and physical wellness, and the impact of cultural heritage on her work. Join us for this insightful dialogue that touches on personal resilience, professional growth, and the importance of following one's intuition. 

Find more from Monika: 

www.sharmapsych.com and 312-955-1212 

To learn more about Bethany Valenti, PsyD:

Bethany's Website

Say Hello to Your Therapist Podcast Instagram

Bethany's Instagram

Bethany's Facebook Page

Things and people we talked about: 

Many Lives Many Masters by Brian Weiss 

American Society of Clinical Hypnosis (ASCH) 

PSYPACT Map

Court of Silver Flames by Sarah J. Maas 

EMDR, Brainspotting (subscribe for future episodes on these topics!)

00:00 Introduction to Dr. Monika Sharma 

01:10 Monika's Journey to Psychology 

03:42 Exploring South Asian Cultural Heritage 

04:21 Holistic Health and Personal Struggles 

09:26 The Decision to Become a Single Mother 

10:31 Challenges and Changes in Private Practice 

23:07 Understanding Hypnosis and Its Applications 

31:32 Group Hypnosis Challenges 31:59 Understanding Hypnosis Induction 

32:57 Brain Waves and Hypnosis 

33:37 Personal Experiences with Hypnosis 

35:51 Mind-Body Connection in Hypnosis 

37:32 Hypnosis for Habit Change 

38:27 Hypnosis in Therapy Practice 

44:19 Hypnosis Techniques and Suggestions 

50:53 Choosing a Hypnosis Practitioner 

53:56 Final Thoughts and Contact Information

Transcript

Bethany Valenti 0:00

Welcome to the Say Hello to your therapist podcast. I'm excited to say hello to Dr. Monica Sharma. She helps professionals, caregivers, and single women move from burnout to balance through therapy, hypnosis, and coaching. In our conversation, we talk about her journey to becoming a psychologist behind the scenes work in running a practice, and what hypnosis is including what it actually looks like when you do it. Just as a reminder, this conversation represents the views of the speakers and does not replace advice from your own mental health and medical professionals who you have a relationship with. I hope you enjoy our conversation. Welcome Monica.

Monika Sharma 0:51

Thank you.

Bethany Valenti 0:52

Well, why don't you tell me a little bit about what made you wanna become a therapist?

Monika Sharma 0:56

Sure. So I have been a psychologist now for, gosh, it's been like 25 years Been this work. I first became interested in psychology back when I was in high school, and I took an intro to psych class, high school level.

Bethany Valenti 1:10

mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 1:11

Something I hadn't had too much exposure to before, but being a teenager and always feeling misunderstood, I'm gonna be the person who's gonna go and help and understand

Bethany Valenti 1:20

Yes.

Monika Sharma 1:20

These kids. Being of South Asian descent, my parents, Just all of our, our friends group who are in the South Asian community, it was all about being a doctor.

Bethany Valenti 1:31

Yeah.

Monika Sharma 1:31

So that's the route I initially started to take because everyone's like Why you wanna do psychology. Why don't you go into psychiatry? And I just, it wasn't speaking to me so, I did eventually decide after taking a couple years off after college to go into psychology and not pursue medical school. And it is, I mean, it speaks to just my interests, how I Enjoy getting to know people. Thing is that my brother, he's a year and a half younger than me, and obviously differences in age, differences in gender, but we are, we couldn't be more different from each other so that always really interested me, like, how are we so Yeah. So I think partly pursuing psychology to understand a bit about also some of the family dynamics and us.

Bethany Valenti 2:15

Curiosity and family really was driving it a lot, it sounds like. I am really interested to see how many people I speak to want to think about the medical field first. Even if family, expectations were steering you in one direction, but if people are pulled to be in a helping profession in general and, 'cause I started out wanting to be a nurse and then was like, no, I want the relationship with the people, you know?

Monika Sharma 2:42

That's what it is. I mean I felt like medicine, especially back at that time, was very much about body parts and symptoms and things like that. It just felt so reductionist and I was just What makes you, you,

Bethany Valenti 2:54

The essence Of a person. And how has that trancelated into your work? what makes you, you and the work that you do now?

Monika Sharma 3:02

Yeah,. I mean, my path has been just very zigzaggy. I'm sure many people, it's like you have life experiences and then you get informed by that. And then for me, I would gravitate toward wanting to read about things just to help me,

Bethany Valenti 3:14

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 3:15

I'm really interested in being able to pass some of this learning and lived experience as well. Initially I was more interested in just the different family dynamics. I also, in graduate school, became interested more in my south cultural heritage, growing up at a time where, you know, it wasn't really recognized as much and that the goal was blend in, blend in, blend in. And so going to graduate school really helped me to see how important that was for me. and so I started getting more interested in that. I also was interested, so it's a South Asian culture at this time. It's in the early two thousands they were not, there's so much stigma and so people wouldn't go seek help for different things that they were going through that were emotionally difficult, but they would go see the doctor for things You know,

Bethany Valenti 4:00

Headaches.

Monika Sharma 4:01

Exactly

Bethany Valenti 4:02

Yep.

Monika Sharma 4:03

And so I started getting interested in a holistic approach to working with people and mental health and the lifestyle. I took a certification course through the Institute of Integrated Nutrition, Which was also on a personal note, I'd gone through like some of my kind of a dark period myself, and I was depressed, but not again, I was also pushing it away and denying that that's what it was

Bethany Valenti 4:25

Right?

Monika Sharma 4:26

Why can't I get things done, why can't I focus? Well, anyway, I did end up finally taking some antidepressant, but I wasn't comfortable with it. So here I am working with people who are going through some mental health challenges and emotional things, but I personally was not even acknowledging it for myself because the stigma Another reason I was really interested in going into and getting a certification in holistic health counseling. I did that. I did get off medication, saw how much of it was a lifetime lifestyle thing. However, I think more than anything there's a few times in my life I can recall that I felt like I was not doing what logically made sense, but, or something was like a more pull of like the spirit I guess. And this course, I wasn't, I was in debt at the time and everyone is like, you have to go to New York City. Why would you do that? It's gonna cost so much money and this course costs so much money. Why don't you wait? Why don't you find something local? Don't be impulsive

Bethany Valenti 5:21

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 5:21

So none of it on a logical, rational way made sense

Bethany Valenti 5:24

Yeah.

Monika Sharma 5:25

But there was something I couldn't ignore

Bethany Valenti 5:27

You were like, I need to do this.

Monika Sharma 5:28

pulled up my credit card

Bethany Valenti 5:29

Yeah.

Monika Sharma 5:29

I put on there and it was interesting 'cause every plane ticket. To New York City. The first and last were $125. At that time, The second through ninth were $98 round trip. All fees included. Taxes, everything. This is back in 2006

Bethany Valenti 5:49

Yeah.

Monika Sharma 5:51

I know. And even for that time period, it was like ridiculously inexpensive. This is an American airline. once I made this decision, it just parted, and made it really easy

Bethany Valenti 5:59

Wow.

Monika Sharma 6:00

for me.

Bethany Valenti 6:01

Yeah.

Monika Sharma 6:02

Big lesson I learned from that was to listen to my gut. It's not about necessarily what looks good on paper Something else was a calling to me and as soon

Bethany Valenti 6:11

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 6:12

into the first day of class, I was like, this is exactly where I need to be right now.

Bethany Valenti 6:16

Yes.

Monika Sharma 6:16

Everything lit up in me and it was learning to trust myself.

Bethany Valenti 6:20

I love that.

Monika Sharma 6:21

probably one of the biggest takeaways.

Bethany Valenti 6:23

Mm.

Monika Sharma 6:23

period,

Bethany Valenti 6:24

I love stories.

Monika Sharma 6:25

we'll segue into something that we'll be talking about later.

Bethany Valenti 6:27

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 6:28

health course. And so we also learned not just about nutrition, but we did learn about things like oppression,

Bethany Valenti 6:34

Mm.

Monika Sharma 6:34

lifestyle behaviors like sleep, our movement

Bethany Valenti 6:37

Yeah.

Monika Sharma 6:37

What does that mean for the planet?

Bethany Valenti 6:39

Mm.

Monika Sharma 6:40

Was on our philosophies about life and death. And it was a very globally representative class, so they

Bethany Valenti 6:46

This was holistic,

Monika Sharma 6:47

it's really about what's going to work best for the client.

Bethany Valenti 6:50

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 6:51

I go to this lecture about life and death and, you know, being raised, my parents were Hindu and

Bethany Valenti 6:57

Okay.

Monika Sharma 6:57

And so being exposed to that and this idea of reincarnation,

Bethany Valenti 7:00

Yeah.

Monika Sharma 7:01

blend in. So

Bethany Valenti 7:02

Right.

Monika Sharma 7:03

this lecture on reincarnation, they talked about this psychiatrist Brian Weiss, and he wrote the book, many Lives, many Masters.

Bethany Valenti 7:10

Mm.

Monika Sharma 7:11

I was watching some video clips of the young kids that were being interviewed and all of these stories, being corroborated from like when they'd go back and look at news paper clippings and things like that. But this actually happened. Or kids that couldn't then spontaneously start to speak another language. I was blown away by this

Bethany Valenti 7:28

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 7:29

That particular weekend I was staying with a friend of mine who I didn't typically stay with because my regular friend had her cousin staying with her. So I go back to his place and I'm like, oh my God, I didn't just like, you know, learned about this and there's this book, many lives, many masters. I have to get my hands on it. And then I saw it all of a sudden behind his head on the bookshelf and he was like, say, I'm like, oh my God, you've got this book

Bethany Valenti 7:54

You have the book.

Monika Sharma 7:56

Yeah. And he's like, I have never seen this book before in my life. And so it was like this worn out copy. I'm like, can I borrow this? He's like, absolutely take it. Like it's, I don't even know whose it is. And so I read it in two days. Well, one of the, that, you know, was, had led to Brian Weiss's belief in Reincarnation. He's a Western psychiatrist.

Bethany Valenti 8:19

Is he the one that was on Oprah? I feel like I've seen some clips of him, on Oprah. My mom actually knew a lot more about him than I ever did, but I know of him. Yeah.

Monika Sharma 8:29

it's a very easy and fascinating book. He ended up having this client that he named Catherine, who had really debilitating anxiety

Bethany Valenti 8:37

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 8:38

he started working with her using hypnosis

Bethany Valenti 8:40

Yeah.

Monika Sharma 8:41

was in hypnosis that she jumped into a previous life,

Bethany Valenti 8:44

Wow.

Monika Sharma 8:45

that. Is what then suddenly led me down this hypnosis path we'll talk about later, and so that also this idea that like, I felt like suddenly things are being handed to me, like these universal whisperings and stuff where, this friend of mine never saw this book before and it's all right on the bookshelf. I mean, there are a lot of different things that that have been influenced by me

Bethany Valenti 9:07

Yeah,

Monika Sharma 9:08

I am a single mom by choice and I decided

Bethany Valenti 9:09

Mm.

Monika Sharma 9:10

child on my own.

Bethany Valenti 9:11

Right?

Monika Sharma 9:12

these things when you sort of pause and listen and pay attention.

Bethany Valenti 9:16

There's so much empowerment in that of being able to like, just listen to what you're wanting and I feel like I actually, you hear so many people waiting for the situation to be right, and I feel like. I can be like that sometimes where you're like, well, I really wanna do this, but I can't, you know? But what if you could, what if there's a reason that you're being called to it and like just making a change and seeing like what you can bring into your life, even if it's like small steps, not having like a whole child or going to a course or whatever it is,

Monika Sharma 9:46

Absolutely. I think for me, one of the, the big things that I try to still remember to this day is that, you know, in both of those situations I didn't let any kind of fear define the decision that I made, because there were, fear was part of both of those decisions, but I just let it be there and part

Bethany Valenti 10:05

Yeah.

Monika Sharma 10:06

The thing that I listen to

Bethany Valenti 10:07

Yes. I love, like the fear is there and I'm still gonna do it.

Monika Sharma 10:12

Yeah.

Bethany Valenti 10:12

That's so cool.

Monika Sharma 10:13

And then just to bring it to present day, I did start private practice solo.

Bethany Valenti 10:17

Yeah,

Monika Sharma 10:18

owning a group practice, which happened kind of on accident,

Bethany Valenti 10:21

yeah,

Monika Sharma 10:22

Somebody on, and then it just starts to expand.

Bethany Valenti 10:24

yeah.

Monika Sharma 10:25

and then in the pandemic, we like really blew up and things were really good.

Bethany Valenti 10:30

Oh, yeah.

Monika Sharma 10:30

really hard, you know, we had experienced a death in the practice of someone who was instrumental

Bethany Valenti 10:35

Mm.

Monika Sharma 10:36

and.

Bethany Valenti 10:37

Really?

Monika Sharma 10:37

things just sort of started again. That's when I realized I was operating from a place of a lot of fear and panic and I didn't allow myself to grieve. And so I decided last year I just need to shut this thing down and I

Bethany Valenti 10:49

Mm,

Monika Sharma 10:49

it to myself.

Bethany Valenti 10:51

yeah.

Monika Sharma 10:52

with my clients on is this

Bethany Valenti 10:54

Mm,

Monika Sharma 10:54

going down this path you know, just reassess because you can get caught up. Like, I feel like midlife is this time that often happens for most people and you just can keep going and going

Bethany Valenti 11:03

Mid midlife is like the client that you really like to work with right?

Monika Sharma 11:07

It is, and so working with also entrepreneurs and leaders, Midlife where, you know, feels like, can you give yourself that time and not, I know not everybody has that opportunity to just like take a hard pivot I wish that we had something baked in our culture, like a midyear midlife gap year

Bethany Valenti 11:23

Yep.

Monika Sharma 11:24

To do that between school and starting

Bethany Valenti 11:27

Yeah. I feel like our culture also doesn't take on breaks as much in general. I know that there's so much more vacation even baked into like just European mindset of you're just out

Monika Sharma 11:42

mm-hmm.

Bethany Valenti 11:42

days outta the year probably, and that's just not part of our expectation here in the US.

Monika Sharma 11:47

It's true. We are very much like reward and value the go, go, go, go, go and productivity

Bethany Valenti 11:53

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 11:54

do more

Bethany Valenti 11:54

Mm-hmm. You know, just keep busy.

Monika Sharma 11:57

We really see busyness as a virtue and, I think that we even put pressure on ourselves also, like taking a break, you know, taking a day,

Bethany Valenti 12:05

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 12:06

off or napping all day, and suddenly we feel a tremendous amount of guilt for it

Bethany Valenti 12:10

Yes.

Monika Sharma 12:12

it does.

Bethany Valenti 12:12

Yeah.

Monika Sharma 12:12

It's really hard. I have a client who, has some health stuff, but taking some time off to take care of herself was really,

Bethany Valenti 12:20

Yeah.

Monika Sharma 12:20

Until something else like worse happened some time off to get some treatment and healing.

Bethany Valenti 12:26

Yeah.

Monika Sharma 12:27

so long, and it's just, you know what, why don't we give ourselves permission, like when we need to

Bethany Valenti 12:31

Yeah, I think that makes me think of what you said about the fear-based decision

Monika Sharma 12:34

Mm-hmm.

Bethany Valenti 12:35

Like where I can't stop, or else this will happen or I will lose this. Or what will other people think that fear can be stemmed from so many different things for different people or just all of the above. Especially like you said, if they're entrepreneurs, the work that they do is like their baby probably, so it's probably even harder to step back.

Monika Sharma 12:56

Absolutely. I know when I had my group practice and after the death of this, my clinical director and

Bethany Valenti 13:03

Hmm.

Monika Sharma 13:03

was summer of 2021,

Bethany Valenti 13:05

Yeah.

Monika Sharma 13:06

we just jumped into action to protect my team. But then everybody left at the start of 2022

Bethany Valenti 13:10

Hmm.

Monika Sharma 13:11

that devastated me because I wanted to leave too. I'm like, I want a fresh start.

Bethany Valenti 13:15

Yeah.

Monika Sharma 13:16

like new energy,

Bethany Valenti 13:16

Sounds good to me.

Monika Sharma 13:18

Yeah.

Bethany Valenti 13:19

And you couldn't,

Monika Sharma 13:20

But so giving permission to myself this early, at the end of last year is when I decided to shut everything down with my group practice. And I took a few months off.

Bethany Valenti 13:29

okay.

Monika Sharma 13:29

being a handful of clients during that time

Bethany Valenti 13:32

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 13:33

followed me into solo practice.

Bethany Valenti 13:34

Yeah.

Monika Sharma 13:35

for that.

Bethany Valenti 13:36

Didn't happen necessarily the way you wanted it to,

Monika Sharma 13:38

Mm-hmm.

Bethany Valenti 13:39

and it's one of those places where you look back and it's like, well, I'm glad I made this decision,

Monika Sharma 13:44

Yeah.

Bethany Valenti 13:44

put yourself first.

Monika Sharma 13:46

mm-hmm. I had a lot of support friends who are just like, it's not failing, you know, to decide you don't wanna do

Bethany Valenti 13:51

Mm-hmm. I need to hear that this is not failing,

Monika Sharma 13:54

Am I taking a step backwards? I started solo and then I built this, 16 person practice

Bethany Valenti 13:59

Oh, that's so big.

Monika Sharma 14:00

Great. it was amazing.

Bethany Valenti 14:02

Yeah.

Monika Sharma 14:03

got really hard for a number of different reasons.

Bethany Valenti 14:07

Yeah.

Monika Sharma 14:08

Same.

Bethany Valenti 14:08

Yeah. That loss sounds really profound, like such an impact, like there was the pandemic and then an actual loss of a person that just was what I would imagine would be really emotionally jarring and impactful, but then it's so practically if they're the clinical director at the same time, so it's all just like tranceplanted into every part of the work that you're doing.

Monika Sharma 14:35

Yeah. It's really it like really shattered so much of the practice when we lost him.

Bethany Valenti 14:40

Yeah.

Monika Sharma 14:41

Thank you.

Bethany Valenti 14:42

And it sounds like, we're not happy with how we got here, but we're in a good place right now

Monika Sharma 14:49

Mm-hmm.

Bethany Valenti 14:50

Yeah.

Monika Sharma 14:51

That's something that I think as therapists, we know that things happen.

Bethany Valenti 14:54

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 14:55

can't stop those things from

Bethany Valenti 14:56

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 14:57

but how do we allow ourselves to move through it trying to push it away and pretend it's not impacting us getting stuck in it and not knowing how to get out,

Bethany Valenti 15:08

Do you ever feel like annoyed that you have to take your own advice?

Monika Sharma 15:14

I know, I think most of my close friends are therapists, and I'm so grateful for that

Bethany Valenti 15:18

Oh, yeah, you got all the benefits, you got the wraparound care.

Monika Sharma 15:22

I know

Bethany Valenti 15:23

We just need some, physicians and all the people.

Monika Sharma 15:27

you really need like a handyman or something's what I

Bethany Valenti 15:29

Can you tell me a little bit about how many kids do you have? You said you're a single mother by choice, right?

Monika Sharma 15:34

yes, I have a daughter. She's gonna be 11 in November,

Bethany Valenti 15:37

Oh my gosh.

Monika Sharma 15:39

so she, yeah, that was another decision. It was like one of the best decisions I made because, I just wasn't partnered

Bethany Valenti 15:45

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 15:46

felt like, I mourn this idea that maybe a family's not in it for me because I was now in my forties.

Bethany Valenti 15:50

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 15:51

So I then had this meltdown where I'm like, gosh, I don't know. I loved my life.

Bethany Valenti 15:56

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 15:57

I had the best time, but it wasn't fulfilling when I thought about my future, I'm like, this can't be it.

Bethany Valenti 16:02

Yeah.

Monika Sharma 16:03

I honestly think that she was just, felt bad for me. So she's like, well, there's no substitute. If you really wanna be a mom, then you should

Bethany Valenti 16:09

Mm.

Monika Sharma 16:10

a mom. like, sure, you said those words, not realizing I was going to take it and run with it

Bethany Valenti 16:14

Just go do it.

Monika Sharma 16:15

Because again, being of Indian descent,

Bethany Valenti 16:18

Mm,

Monika Sharma 16:19

like, it's not part of the culture.

Bethany Valenti 16:21

yeah.

Monika Sharma 16:22

had a harder time with it.

Bethany Valenti 16:23

Mm

Monika Sharma 16:24

a pretty girl. People will marry you. I was 41 at this time

Bethany Valenti 16:27

Okay.

Monika Sharma 16:27

she was like, he was like, it's not too late. If that's what marriage was about for me, I would've been married long before.

Bethany Valenti 16:34

if I just needed a person, then I would've done it.

Monika Sharma 16:36

Exactly. So, I went ahead and I did it on my own. My dad came around, I mean, like right away.

Bethany Valenti 16:42

I mean, once you see the baby, it's really hard

Monika Sharma 16:44

I felt like it was very easy for me and things just fell in place with it during the doctor that I selected. And,

Bethany Valenti 16:50

mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 16:50

I mean, there's so many coincidences. There was like, so many coincidences that I don't believe are coincidences,

Bethany Valenti 16:56

Yeah. I love those.

Monika Sharma 16:57

little winks

Bethany Valenti 16:58

Mm,

Monika Sharma 16:58

from the universe.

Bethany Valenti 17:00

I like that.

Monika Sharma 17:01

So anyways, I just felt like she was meant to be this was the journey that I was meant to be on.

Bethany Valenti 17:06

Mm.

Monika Sharma 17:07

There's some kind of like a settling.

Bethany Valenti 17:09

Alignment or something.

Monika Sharma 17:10

a little like a tingling and everything feels like this is it, you know? And,

Bethany Valenti 17:15

Hmm.

Monika Sharma 17:15

And so that's just going on this course. I got pregnant pretty easily with her second try. My daughter, you know, she did have a heart condition. She needed to have surgery when she was 4 months Old, but

Bethany Valenti 17:25

Oh, stressful

Monika Sharma 17:26

even with that, it wasn't,

Bethany Valenti 17:27

You're, you're like, actually, no.

Monika Sharma 17:30

We, I think I just like really had faith and I kept. She took care of me. There was something about her energy. A doctor might say, well, yeah, it's because she probably was more calm because she wasn't, you know, I mean with her heart condition and things like that. Maybe not as energetic, you know, that maybe might be, but I'm like, she really grounded me, just her eyes and her demeanor and, so I just felt like, fine. She's like reassuring me, you know, I, I put whatever meaning on it that I felt I needed, and

Bethany Valenti 18:00

Yeah.

Monika Sharma 18:00

really reassuring at that time. She's gonna be 11,

Bethany Valenti 18:03

That's amazing.

Monika Sharma 18:04

she's amazing. And so it was also because of having her in my life that I worked harder than I might've worked because it was now not just about me.

Bethany Valenti 18:12

Mm.

Monika Sharma 18:13

good enough to work hard for me, but now I have a daughter who's relying on me. I wanna make sure her life is secure and set up

Bethany Valenti 18:21

Yeah.

Monika Sharma 18:22

doing this on my own without a partner,

Bethany Valenti 18:23

Right?

Monika Sharma 18:24

my family's amazing. My friends have been amazing, but at the end of the day, it is me. And I wanted to give that to her.

Bethany Valenti 18:31

Yeah.

Monika Sharma 18:31

also helped with the success of the group practice

Bethany Valenti 18:34

Mm-hmm. And so then when that shifted, did you reframe that for yourself as a, this is for her too? This is for me. This is for her? Or did it feel hard to feel like you were stepping away from something that was for her?

Monika Sharma 18:51

It started to feel like it was costing me myself and it all, I could also see it impacting her because

Bethany Valenti 19:01

I was gonna say that would, as soon as you said that, I was like, and that just turns right back around.

Monika Sharma 19:05

And I'm like, I can't do this to, like, it's not worth it. And financially it was not as strong as it had once been. We were just with the scramble after

Bethany Valenti 19:15

Hmm.

Monika Sharma 19:16

the sort of mass resignation.

Bethany Valenti 19:18

Yeah.

Monika Sharma 19:18

personal to me. It was that time period early 2022 where

Bethany Valenti 19:22

Hmm.

Monika Sharma 19:23

country was talking about the great resignation. It was just

Bethany Valenti 19:25

Yeah.

Monika Sharma 19:26

did a change.

Bethany Valenti 19:27

Yeah.

Monika Sharma 19:28

Yeah. And it was never just a business for me. It was always about the relationships and

Bethany Valenti 19:32

yeah,

Monika Sharma 19:33

You know, I started pulling back on my client care because I'm like, my employees now are the people I'm gonna

Bethany Valenti 19:37

yeah.

Monika Sharma 19:38

too, help grow.

Bethany Valenti 19:40

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 19:41

so that was so fulfilling and rewarding. But it's between like interactions also that really I started to realize were like the glue. So I started to feel like we as people, it's kinda like a mosaic and we can be

Bethany Valenti 19:54

Mm.

Monika Sharma 19:54

Realize how much

Bethany Valenti 19:56

Yes.

Monika Sharma 19:56

conversations

Bethany Valenti 19:57

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 19:57

It

Bethany Valenti 19:57

Yeah.

Monika Sharma 19:58

brings up the spontaneous connection.

Bethany Valenti 20:01

Relationship building. Oh, it's so valuable. Yeah. There's a reason, I was really excited to start a podcast. I miss talking to people.

Monika Sharma 20:08

Yeah.

Bethany Valenti 20:08

You,

Monika Sharma 20:09

Yeah.

Bethany Valenti 20:10

being in a, I was in a university counseling center setting, and just one of the things that kept me there for so long was the relationships, was the connections and those conversations,

Monika Sharma 20:19

huh,

Bethany Valenti 20:19

rule that we're putting into place or what we're having to do it matters, you know?

Monika Sharma 20:23

or even,

Bethany Valenti 20:24

Yeah.

Monika Sharma 20:24

a break.

Bethany Valenti 20:24

Yes.

Monika Sharma 20:25

Yes it's hard. And so with the pandemic and everyone working from home, it suddenly started to feel like we were all our own individual tiles again

Bethany Valenti 20:32

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 20:33

And like, okay, what's the benefit of the group if we're not, I mean, we had our meetings and consultations and things, but social outings also. I tried to be really good about that. that we could all get to know each other

Bethany Valenti 20:43

Yeah.

Monika Sharma 20:44

The clinical work that we do.

Bethany Valenti 20:46

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 20:46

it started to feel like a job because I got fed and rewarded and you know, that was my own pay, was my interactions with the team and seeing everybody else also connect with each other. With my team, they worked for me, but I know that they stayed with me. They had a great retention before 2022, like nobody left. And I know I did that. I had that because they could feel that I worked for them.

Bethany Valenti 21:09

It makes a difference when you feel like you're the people that are taking care of you or actually taking care of you, or that are like responsible for you, are also taking care of you. Does that, it's a distinction there.

Monika Sharma 21:19

Oh, I loved it.

Bethany Valenti 21:20

Yeah.

Monika Sharma 21:20

loved it. And so that's going back to solo. Now I get to

Bethany Valenti 21:24

focus on the clinical

Monika Sharma 21:25

work again,

Bethany Valenti 21:26

Yeah. How's that been?

Monika Sharma 21:28

it's been a, it's been slow. so I'm no longer taking insurance. That

Bethany Valenti 21:31

Okay.

Monika Sharma 21:32

thing that had happened.

Bethany Valenti 21:33

Yep.

Monika Sharma 21:33

practice as we

Bethany Valenti 21:34

Yeah.

Monika Sharma 21:35

to back audits from

Bethany Valenti 21:36

Oh,

Monika Sharma 21:37

And I,

Bethany Valenti 21:39

oh.

Monika Sharma 21:40

I know they're in the news all the time now, and I'm like, thank goodness. It's sort of like they're getting exposed for the way that they do business

Bethany Valenti 21:47

Mm.

Monika Sharma 21:48

profit first rather

Bethany Valenti 21:49

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 21:50

And

Bethany Valenti 21:51

Yeah.

Monika Sharma 21:52

anyway, that was also because it felt like a money grab, but it was just, I felt really vulnerable taking insurance.

Bethany Valenti 21:59

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 22:00

People wanna use insurance, especially in a city like Chicago. I know that there's other places in the country where it's pretty much the standard that people don't use insurance to pay for therapy services But that's okay because I feel like it's more intentional.

Bethany Valenti 22:13

Yeah. More intentional.

Monika Sharma 22:14

Yeah.

Bethany Valenti 22:16

build.

Monika Sharma 22:16

my clients

Bethany Valenti 22:17

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 22:17

and I don't have to worry about getting claims denied or the

Bethany Valenti 22:22

Yeah,

Monika Sharma 22:23

you know, where it's like we're gonna take money back

Bethany Valenti 22:25

we're Just gonna take it back.

Monika Sharma 22:25

Even though we've already done the session, even though the client even will report that they've been helped. It just, it was a game I no longer wanted to play because I felt like it was more about covering your own ass rather than about,

Bethany Valenti 22:35

Yeah.

Monika Sharma 22:35

taking care of the client.

Bethany Valenti 22:37

Yeah,

Monika Sharma 22:37

you know,

Bethany Valenti 22:38

yeah.

Monika Sharma 22:39

too,

Bethany Valenti 22:40

And we get into this to help people. And when you feel like you're doing that and you're getting punished that just sucks.

Monika Sharma 22:48

yeah,

Bethany Valenti 22:49

I'm really excited to talk about the hypnosis. Can we come back to it?

Monika Sharma 22:52

Let's do that.

Bethany Valenti 22:53

When did you start learning about it? Is it like a certification thing? how does that work?

Monika Sharma 22:57

I told you that I read that book, Many Lives, Many Masters

Bethany Valenti 22:59

Yep.

Monika Sharma 23:00

I was just blown away by it. It really changed how I even viewed life

Bethany Valenti 23:07

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 23:08

Got so much reassurance from that book. Suddenly everything felt okay, if that makes sense?

Bethany Valenti 23:12

Wow.

Monika Sharma 23:13

I was really interested in learning hypnosis. If I could do this in any way with some of my clients, just to get to like layers where we are not, when we were in talk therapy, we are talking about things that are in our conscious awareness. When we are in hypnosis, we can reach a layer that's beyond what we're consciously thinking about.

Bethany Valenti 23:32

Yes.

Monika Sharma 23:34

when we're talking

Bethany Valenti 23:34

Yeah.

Monika Sharma 23:35

I took hypnosis the first, the level one and two training through the American Society of Clinical Hypnosis. Immediately following the certification I got with Holistic Health Counsel. So I got that in 2007, I think.

Bethany Valenti 23:50

The timing tracks. 'cause I could just picture you feeling so great at that class and then reading the book and then being like, well, here, I'm gonna go do that.

Monika Sharma 23:59

here's my credit card.

Bethany Valenti 24:00

Oh, let's just go. If we're doing it, we're going all in.

Monika Sharma 24:03

It's, and especially then with, again, I just had learned about like how our mental health also, I mean, that focus of the Institute of Integrative Nutrition was not on mental health, but I took it and applied it to mental health and how it is that I can help people with their mental health through these lifestyle changes and behaviors as well. So here I am now already broadening my scope and how it is that I'm conceptualizing people and how they can take the best care of themselves

Bethany Valenti 24:28

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 24:29

through the foods that they eat, as well as the activities that they engage in, the relationships that they're a part of. And now I wanted to add hypnosis to broaden it even further. And so that's when I got trained in hypnosis and I started integrating it into my practice right away.

Bethany Valenti 24:44

Wow.

Monika Sharma 24:45

Mm-hmm.

Bethany Valenti 24:47

So...how do you like to explain it to people who are coming? I would just love to hear, like, what do you mean by hypnosis?

Monika Sharma 24:54

That's a good question. I feel like people think about hypnosis through what they might see on TV or movies where it feels a lot more like mind control

Bethany Valenti 25:02

Yeah.

Monika Sharma 25:03

sneaking my way in and I'm gonna influence your thoughts and I'm

Bethany Valenti 25:06

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 25:07

Exactly.

Bethany Valenti 25:08

Yeah.

Monika Sharma 25:08

That is not what hypnosis is.

Bethany Valenti 25:10

Okay.

Monika Sharma 25:11

it's not therapy

Bethany Valenti 25:12

Stage hypnosis. Okay.

Monika Sharma 25:13

And with performance hypnosis, the hypnotist. Knows how to pick up people

Bethany Valenti 25:20

Hmm.

Monika Sharma 25:20

to be really good at

Bethany Valenti 25:23

Like responsive.

Monika Sharma 25:24

Exactly.

Bethany Valenti 25:25

Ah.

Monika Sharma 25:25

So they tend to be more voyeuristic. They'll ask people in the audience who's, you know, I need some volunteers. If you're raising your hand right away, that selects for people who are willing to maybe go and make a fool of themselves, you know? some good chuckles to the audience. And then they can start to narrow down and select from those few volunteers that he invited or she invited on stage and start to narrow down, like who may be a really good person to finally select. It could be even things like, imagine that you're in a bathtub full of ice water and see who might kind of have some goosebumps and then they'll be like, okay, they're suggestible.

Bethany Valenti 26:01

Interesting.

Monika Sharma 26:02

goosebumps, then they'll send them back to sit in the audience and thank them for their time. So that's how they do it. And

Bethany Valenti 26:09

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 26:09

somebody who's already, exhibitionistic.

Bethany Valenti 26:12

Okay.

Monika Sharma 26:13

who's willing to do that, somebody who's suggestible and then they've got like their perfect sort of candidate to make them bark like a dog or cluck like a chicken.

Bethany Valenti 26:21

Right,

Monika Sharma 26:22

things that people will talk about,

Bethany Valenti 26:23

Yeah.

Monika Sharma 26:23

Hypnosis is not mind control. You have to be willing.

Bethany Valenti 26:27

That's what I've heard is that there's consent involved that even though it looks like people are doing weird things, they wouldn't do it unless they had agreed on some level.

Monika Sharma 26:38

So there has to be trust

Bethany Valenti 26:40

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 26:40

There has to be a willingness and a surrender. There has to be some suggestibility, and 95% of the population are good candidates for hypnosis.

Bethany Valenti 26:49

It's not,

Monika Sharma 26:50

most likely that will not be you. 'cause 95% of the people

Bethany Valenti 26:54

Yeah, that's a lot. do we call it like therapeutic hypnosis? Like what's the term?

Monika Sharma 26:59

I still just call it hypnosis,

Bethany Valenti 27:00

Okay.

Monika Sharma 27:00

it hypnotherapy,

Bethany Valenti 27:01

Hypnotherapy.

Monika Sharma 27:02

call

Bethany Valenti 27:02

I like that.

Monika Sharma 27:03

Yeah.

Bethany Valenti 27:03

Yeah.

Monika Sharma 27:04

And so.

Bethany Valenti 27:06

Just curious. I'm trying to remove some of the stuff that you told me about the stage hypnosis and get back into the hypnotherapy realm. So some of the stuff that you were saying about the willingness and everything like that trancelates to both?

Monika Sharma 27:19

Yes. So those things are similar in terms of that willingness piece, but the difference with the more of the therapeutic

Bethany Valenti 27:25

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 27:26

You've got your client who's willing and is open to doing it.

Bethany Valenti 27:30

Mm

Monika Sharma 27:30

people who are very influential and may use some of these techniques Hypnosis is, again, you've gotta have consent from the client. What hypnosis is, is it's when you're in a trance and you, like all of us are in trance all the time, we just don't

Bethany Valenti 27:46

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 27:46

If we are driving our car and we're zoning out and just like on autopilot, we are in a trance.

Bethany Valenti 27:52

Yeah.

Monika Sharma 27:52

We are scrolling on our phone, on social media, and are playing a game like we are in a trance.

Bethany Valenti 27:59

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 28:00

even eating,

Bethany Valenti 28:01

yeah. Totally Elsewhere. In a lot of these cases, yeah. This morning I have to drop off my kids at two different buildings. it's all in the same vicinity, So I dropped off my daughter and then as I was dropping off my son, the gist is that the shoes she was supposed to be wearing were in the van, and I didn't know that, so I had to go back and drop them off after I dropped him off. And as I was leaving, I was so engrossed and thinking about my son and the drop off that, even though I knew I needed to like, go do something else, I just felt like I was in a whole different place. Like feeling my brain shift back to this is while I'm driving, which is concerning, but like, I remember being like, yes, I made it all the way over here. Yes, that's right. I need to go. That's why I'm going and I'm turning and having to like, I felt such a distinct shift into away from that location into the present again, and just, I don't know, it feels like kind of what you're talking about, just like I felt like I was in a trance. I felt like I was not in my body in that moment.

Monika Sharma 29:05

And that's a lot of what it is.

Bethany Valenti 29:06

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 29:07

space and time,

Bethany Valenti 29:09

More pliable.

Monika Sharma 29:10

that linear sort of process. We kind of almost disconnect from space and time as well

Bethany Valenti 29:14

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 29:15

And that's why if you're scrolling on your phone, then you can suddenly look up and an hour and a half has gone by,

Bethany Valenti 29:21

Right.

Monika Sharma 29:22

where that time went because it certainly didn't feel like an hour and a half went by. so those are some examples of being in a trance. And hypnosis is now just intentionally going into a trance. And again, the hypnotherapist is more like a guide. So if you think about doing meditation,

Bethany Valenti 29:38

Yeah.

Monika Sharma 29:38

you can have someone guide you in meditation, so that's all it is. But you can also do meditation on your own. Hypnosis is all self hypnosis.

Bethany Valenti 29:46

Hmm.

Monika Sharma 29:47

and I serve as a guide to help you get to

Bethany Valenti 29:49

Okay.

Monika Sharma 29:50

where you're in a trance.

Bethany Valenti 29:51

Would you say it's different than meditation?

Monika Sharma 29:54

so the difference, it feels a lot like meditation. I think about meditation where you are creating more like a stillness in your mind, or clearing

Bethany Valenti 30:04

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 30:04

hypnosis is where you're creating that clearing and that space.

Bethany Valenti 30:08

Okay.

Monika Sharma 30:08

is something called a post hypnotic suggestion.

Bethany Valenti 30:12

Okay.

Monika Sharma 30:12

that the mind can now sort of like receive hold on to and take with it once the hypnosis is over.

Bethany Valenti 30:18

I love what you're doing with your hands. They're almost like you were stitching something in like the way you do that with your fingers, you know, I felt like you're just like, oh, here's just a, I'm just gonna like add this little stitch and then, you know, for later,

Monika Sharma 30:29

I like

Bethany Valenti 30:30

I went to a training on hypnosis, but it was, when I was at my university counseling center, it was someone who had done like the first level of training and was sort of walking us through it. And so I feel like I got some sort of sense of what it's like. And at the same time I sort of totally could, and this is years later, but like I could walk away being like, I still feel like I know nothing. I don't know if I'm one of the 5%, maybe we could talk about like what makes the 5% different. We tried to do some self-hypnosis and I don't know what I was doing. One person in there fell asleep. A lot of people did fine, I'll tell you that. Like it wasn't, but I distinctly remember one person fell asleep and I sort of felt like I couldn't, I didn't know I was just sitting there. But it was a group thing and maybe if I was one-on-one, it would have felt different,

Monika Sharma 31:14

Yeah, I've done group hypnosis, like been a participant in group hypnosis, don't find it helpful for me I find other people distracting, like little coughs, or I've had people fall asleep where I'm suddenly hearing snoring.

Bethany Valenti 31:24

Or if you're an anxious person or like, I was recently diagnosed with A DHD, so now I'm just like, maybe I couldn't really focus in that moment, like with all the people around like that, your mind just couldn't really settle or enter that place as easily.

Monika Sharma 31:38

yeah.

Bethany Valenti 31:39

Or someone who overthinks of like, am I doing this right?

Monika Sharma 31:41

So when you go into hypnosis, you start with induction. An induction is just helping a person to get into trance.

Bethany Valenti 31:48

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 31:49

I usually have people visualize some things with their body and get themselves more and more relaxed

Bethany Valenti 31:54

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 31:55

muscles release things that they don't need to hold onto at this moment. and creating some sense of trust. But some people, I mean, you can do the whole pendulum swinging.

Bethany Valenti 32:04

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 32:05

on something and it puts you in a trance-like state.

Bethany Valenti 32:07

Yeah.

Monika Sharma 32:08

It can be, there's some different ways that you can, there's like almost a circuitry, I guess, in the mind That kind of like allows you to go into, like, switch into trance. Also, there's some techniques that people will use using their eyes and rolling their eyes up. You can, it just may take a little bit longer to do that. And if you're not trusting, like, oh, I really don't believe this, is this really working, like you are absolutely not gonna go into trance if you're evaluating it every step of the way or have opinions about it. And so what hypnosis does is it starts to get past, like we normally in our waking world are in like kind of beta waves with our brain. And so it takes you into alpha or even theta. So it's taking you under the surface of consciousness, which is that beta level

Bethany Valenti 32:54

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 32:55

into the alpha or the theta levels.

Bethany Valenti 32:58

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 32:58

And you can start to fall asleep and you can kind of hear the TV going, but the visuals in your mind are also kind of swimming around a little bit

Bethany Valenti 33:05

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 33:06

That is that stage where you're an alpha

Bethany Valenti 33:08

Yeah.

Monika Sharma 33:09

Oh, like that could never, that could never happen. You know? I was first in this place, but now suddenly I'm in that place like dreaming. Does that make sense?

Bethany Valenti 33:17

I think so. Yeah. I think I'm also struck just personally by memories of like myself falling asleep around people and still sort of listening to the conversation and saying something that made absolutely no sense because I was in that space and I'm wondering if I was in Alpha or theta waves, like

Monika Sharma 33:40

That's exactly it.

Bethany Valenti 33:41

I have distinct memories, of doing that. 'cause I had, I was, I, I've always been more of like a morning person and so I've often tried to, stay up late. And so I will like be sitting there and I will be fighting sleep and I'll come in and out and I have like a very clear memory of one time being at a friend's house and she had visitors over and it was even more like, I was so anxious about being rude and I was weirdly following the conversation. And I said something in response to what they said and they were like, what? that woke me up faster than anything. It was so, oh my gosh, that's taking me back. Like, I just still think about that. I still remember they were saying something about, my friend was saying something that she had done and I made a joke about, like in my state, I said, that's not what the camera says. Like. And I was like, what are you talking about? and thank God it was sensible enough because the person was, because I was trying to stay awake and pretend that I was not sleeping. That's the other thing. So someone else there was like, oh no, she's saying that like if there had been cameras, the evidence would be otherwise. And I was like, that's exactly what I was going for. But I have no idea how I grasped that in that moment. 'cause I was clearly out of it.

Monika Sharma 35:03

Absolutely. And that is exactly what it is. Like you're in this like different state, you're not quite here. You're a little bit here, but you're not quite fully here Your mind is wandering

Bethany Valenti 35:11

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 35:12

so in that state of mind, there's a lot more that's possible as you can even, are you talking about in your own example? Like things are not necessarily logically flowing, but there's possibility that's, you know, that's available now because you're not poo-pooing things away and like, oh, that could never happen. Or having opinions and judgments and biases show up. And so that's where hypnosis works. Now, hypnosis is all about what's happening in our mind, but you know, we have a lot of evidence now how our mind and our body are, are just

Bethany Valenti 35:43

Connected. Yeah.

Monika Sharma 35:44

connected. coin.

Bethany Valenti 35:45

Yes.

Monika Sharma 35:46

And so. We can even think about how, like if we've got a really important presentation to give next week and we feel we have some presentation or speaking anxiety, then we can just think about it and already our heart starts to race

Bethany Valenti 36:02

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 36:02

and our palms get sweaty. If we suddenly hear a song that takes us back in

Bethany Valenti 36:07

Yep.

Monika Sharma 36:07

it's like, oh my God, I love this song.

Bethany Valenti 36:09

Yeah. You feel it in every fiber of your being.

Monika Sharma 36:12

Exactly. Or an old photo and this memory comes flooding back and we can feel it

Bethany Valenti 36:17

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 36:18

Or if we're watching that movie and it's a scary movie and suddenly like somebody comes jumping out from the shadows with like an axe, then we're gonna jump a little bit. We startle and we feel it,

Bethany Valenti 36:29

Yeah.

Monika Sharma 36:29

it after, but,

Bethany Valenti 36:30

Yeah.

Monika Sharma 36:31

our body doesn't know the difference.

Bethany Valenti 36:33

Mm-hmm. I have the worst startle reflex. I'm really bad at those movies.

Monika Sharma 36:37

Oh I can't even watch those movies.

Bethany Valenti 36:37

I take 'em home with me.

Monika Sharma 36:39

Then it'll just start to like the certain scenes keep

Bethany Valenti 36:41

Yep.

Monika Sharma 36:41

Yeah.

Bethany Valenti 36:42

Yeah. And the way it made me feel,

Monika Sharma 36:43

absolutely. But do feel things that are beyond what is actually happening to us in the moment

Bethany Valenti 36:50

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 36:50

And that is what differentiates us from all other animals. We are very similar to all other animals in a way. like the fight, flight response, fight, flight, freeze fawn, just to

Bethany Valenti 37:01

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 37:02

And we are also very different in that our mind can go elsewhere. And so we capitalize or leverage that in hypnosis by taking our mind to a place where things are possible. We insert something new that already the person wants to do because the willingness has to be there.

Bethany Valenti 37:20

Yeah.

Monika Sharma 37:20

So hypnosis can help like give a little nudge In a direction you already wanna go.

Bethany Valenti 37:26

I

Monika Sharma 37:27

find that that's to be one of the most important criteria and is, and whether hypnosis will be successful or not

Bethany Valenti 37:32

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 37:33

Even if they're hypnotizable, if they're coming in because they are saying, well, like my partner really wants me to quit smoking, my doctor saying I need to quit smoking. So like they just want some sort of magical solution that can help for a little while, but the moment they get stressed or they're out with friends, you know, drinking or whatever it might be like they'll reach for the cigarette because they didn't own the change for themselves. They're not yet ready.

Bethany Valenti 38:00

I feel like that trancelates to a lot of the work that we do in general. what do you find that you are using it the most for in your practice?

Monika Sharma 38:09

So I've interwoven it into the therapy work that I do

Bethany Valenti 38:13

okay.

Monika Sharma 38:13

game for that and helping with, anxiety.

Bethany Valenti 38:18

Hmm.

Monika Sharma 38:18

I also worked with fears. Sometimes people may get some clarity around it if they're having a hard time making a decision around something. I've used it where people can connect with what I would call the wise self or inner guide. It can help with overcoming some trauma where they can start to create some distance, like they're watching things that have happened to them on a screen so that they're starting to see it from a new perspective and distance themselves and process it in a way that's more helpful to help them through it.

Bethany Valenti 38:49

Hmm.

Monika Sharma 38:49

I also get hypnosis referrals for more standalone hypnosis, and a lot of it has to do with habit change, like smoking, vaping, reducing sugar, reducing drinking.

Bethany Valenti 39:01

Okay.

Monika Sharma 39:01

the relationship with something, whether it's eliminating it entirely or reducing it and like putting more like boundaries around it. I'm only going to have. Two drinks and on the weekends, maybe socially with friends. And so like eliminating the solo drinking on a Tuesday, that kind of

Bethany Valenti 39:17

Ah, okay.

Monika Sharma 39:18

So changing the relationship with it.

Bethany Valenti 39:20

Yeah.

Monika Sharma 39:21

be anything from giving a presentation

Bethany Valenti 39:23

Mm.

Monika Sharma 39:25

you know, sports like golf.

Bethany Valenti 39:27

Golf. the ultimate mental sport

Monika Sharma 39:31

I know.

Bethany Valenti 39:31

feels like I, that's, I know that there's so much with sports psych in general but it feels like you hear so much of the mentality the most around golf.

Monika Sharma 39:41

Mm-hmm.

Bethany Valenti 39:43

That's my perception. I also, I'm also married to a golfer, so what are you gonna do? I told him, I'm like, I get to do a podcast with someone who I know she does hypnosis with golfers, and his eyebrows went way up. He was like, alright, then.

Monika Sharma 39:56

People take their golf games so

Bethany Valenti 39:58

Seriously!

Monika Sharma 40:00

Had like a client who finally started seeing me for therapy because he's like, I knew I needed help with my golf game was going off like that used to be my therapy.

Bethany Valenti 40:10

oh, yes.

Monika Sharma 40:12

I didn't have that available anymore so I'm like, I needed to be here.

Bethany Valenti 40:15

I love that self-awareness,

Monika Sharma 40:17

And my dad plays golf

Bethany Valenti 40:18

Yeah.

Monika Sharma 40:18

It's a little funny story because I had a client who was seeing me for reasons that had nothing to do with golf. He was a, for marriage issues,

Bethany Valenti 40:27

Okay.

Monika Sharma 40:28

he had a big presentation coming up and so he asked if hypnosis would help. He said, and I said, absolutely we did it. He did this big presentation, where normally he would be sweating and he'd like, you know, just feeling really clammy and just all these and hot

Bethany Valenti 40:42

Hmm.

Monika Sharma 40:42

said it was like cool as a breeze. He did it in front of, Hundreds of people,

Bethany Valenti 40:46

Hmm.

Monika Sharma 40:47

it went beautifully.

Bethany Valenti 40:48

Yeah.

Monika Sharma 40:48

And one of them was his golf game. so I did it and it worked. And so he was like really impressed with that. And I was telling my dad, who loves golf,

Bethany Valenti 40:58

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 40:58

He has a lot of different hobbies that are his therapy. people take their golf game so seriously. You should market for that. people will come see you. They will spend money to get their golf game better.

Bethany Valenti 41:07

I think so.

Monika Sharma 41:08

And dad, I can do it for you too if you'd like, you

Bethany Valenti 41:10

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 41:11

your game. And I was like, okay.

Bethany Valenti 41:14

Classic dad. So funny. Not for me. Like, oh my gosh, yes. That's so funny.

Monika Sharma 41:22

I know. he wasn't even willing to entertain it for free. like, all right.

Bethany Valenti 41:28

Funny. So, I'm thinking too, because I only recently learned in the past year about brain spotting, but did you do that group brainspotting demo

Monika Sharma 41:41

I did,

Bethany Valenti 41:41

Okay. Did it feel similar to hypnosis for you as, as someone who practices hypnotherapy? how did it feel for you?

Monika Sharma 41:48

Uhhuh.

Bethany Valenti 41:48

Because I mean, I knew there was a different theory,

Monika Sharma 41:51

Yeah.

Bethany Valenti 41:52

As I'm looking back on it, it sort of felt like we were kind of going into those waves and

Monika Sharma 41:58

I felt very relaxed,

Bethany Valenti 42:00

Mm.

Monika Sharma 42:01

I did not feel, I, so I've tried EMDR also in the past. the way that my.

Bethany Valenti 42:07

brain works.

Monika Sharma 42:08

yeah, my brain works. I'm a verbal processor,

Bethany Valenti 42:11

That's me.

Monika Sharma 42:11

and so I couldn't like on demand, you know,

Bethany Valenti 42:14

Mm.

Monika Sharma 42:15

to that space.

Bethany Valenti 42:16

Yeah.

Monika Sharma 42:17

in the middle of the night be thinking about it, but not when I am sort of in a session asked. And it was also group setting. So I personally didn't feel, I think, what is intended with brain spotting, but it's absolutely about trance,

Bethany Valenti 42:32

Yeah.

Monika Sharma 42:33

that EMDR also sort of sets you in this place where you are in trance, but they are working bilaterally again, with some of, unless I'm not trained in EMDR, so I

Bethany Valenti 42:43

Yeah.

Monika Sharma 42:43

I know that there's like a bilateral simulation

Bethany Valenti 42:45

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 42:46

with too and

Bethany Valenti 42:47

Yep.

Monika Sharma 42:49

But I can say that that trance piece is the overlap that I'm aware of

Bethany Valenti 42:53

Yeah,

Monika Sharma 42:53

There's stuff I'm not familiar with,

Bethany Valenti 42:55

And I'm hoping to get someone on here to, talk about Brainspotting as well,

Monika Sharma 43:01

yeah.

Bethany Valenti 43:01

The overlap is notable.

Monika Sharma 43:03

Mm-hmm.

Bethany Valenti 43:04

You know, and there's so much overlap in so many different types of therapies that it really is about what you want to do, your intention, what fits for you. Like you said, even that I mean, you and I were in there, we saw some profoundly impacted people, emotionally. but I don't know if it wasn't that impactful for me, compared to what I saw, for some people in the room. But I'm also a verbal processor. I'm also an intellectualizer, So I think it probably touched on some stuff, but again, group setting versus individual versus the fit for the person,

Monika Sharma 43:42

Absolutely.

Bethany Valenti 43:43

so one more question I think about hypnosis. How does it look? When you incorporate it with kind of your long-term clients versus

Monika Sharma 43:55

Mm-hmm.

Bethany Valenti 43:55

I'm just here for hypnosis,

Monika Sharma 43:57

the hypnosis, I'll start with that because it is the easier one to

Bethany Valenti 44:00

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 44:01

People come for a standalone concern that they wanna address through hypnosis. I do an intake with them for one session, and then I really customize things so that I'm addressing things and using the client's words

Bethany Valenti 44:12

Mm.

Monika Sharma 44:13

to resonate as much with the client as possible.

Bethany Valenti 44:16

Yes.

Monika Sharma 44:17

And, in hypnosis, you're supposed to frame things in a positive way,

Bethany Valenti 44:21

Okay.

Monika Sharma 44:22

instead of, it's like I don't want to eat sugar anymore, whatever.

Bethany Valenti 44:26

Yeah.

Monika Sharma 44:27

and you will no longer eat sugar, sweets, like it's not going hear the "no"s,

Bethany Valenti 44:31

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 44:32

eat sugar,

Bethany Valenti 44:33

Okay.

Monika Sharma 44:34

you have to find ways to frame things in the positive, because that's what the brain will pick up on.

Bethany Valenti 44:38

Yeah.

Monika Sharma 44:39

doing something anymore, but what would you be doing instead? Or how will you be feeling when you choose to, focus

Bethany Valenti 44:46

Okay.

Monika Sharma 44:46

something else.

Bethany Valenti 44:47

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 44:48

Those are some of the things that I do. I do the intake and then I do, a couple of hypnosis sessions as much as needed, but I suggest two at least.

Bethany Valenti 44:55

Okay.

Monika Sharma 44:55

I record the sessions. I will give that to clients so that they can also listen. I will also do what's a post hypnotics is a suggestion, which oftentimes what I'll do is I'll suggest that people maybe like press their thumb and index finger or middle finger together. But it doesn't have to be that. It could even just be like, just any kind of movement, like rolling back the shoulders or giving a little nod

Bethany Valenti 45:18

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 45:19

way of then eliciting that feeling again.

Bethany Valenti 45:23

Okay.

Monika Sharma 45:23

And so I'll have people practice that and it just takes like a few seconds.

Bethany Valenti 45:29

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 45:29

listen to the hypnosis session, it's around 20 to 30 minutes in length.

Bethany Valenti 45:33

Okay.

Monika Sharma 45:34

And then I'll do a follow up

Bethany Valenti 45:36

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 45:37

Some people find that they're helped after just one session and they

Bethany Valenti 45:40

Okay.

Monika Sharma 45:40

They can take the recording with them. I do, again, suggest at least a minimum of two though, just to reinforce. And then we can use the second session to either add on to what we did in the first session or if we need to

Bethany Valenti 45:50

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 45:50

somehow, or just

Bethany Valenti 45:51

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 45:52

Do you have questions first about that in terms of the standalone?

Bethany Valenti 45:56

No, you, I thought you put it perfectly like

Monika Sharma 45:58

So when I weave it into sessions in which I'm already working with clients longer term, I will introduce hypnosis as an option

Bethany Valenti 46:05

Okay.

Monika Sharma 46:06

Explain a little bit about what it is, and since they're coming to me for therapy and not coming to me for hypnosis, then, you know, it's something that I may then introduce after some time as something that might help them with some anxiety or fear or some OCD tendencies, and weave it in. But I always see it in more as an invitation because they're not coming

Bethany Valenti 46:26

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 46:27

for hypnosis.

Bethany Valenti 46:28

Yeah.

Monika Sharma 46:29

clients are interested and they'll wanna choose working with me because I can leave that into the work we do

Bethany Valenti 46:34

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 46:35

But a lot of times people will find me for therapy services

Bethany Valenti 46:38

Okay.

Monika Sharma 46:39

Then I may take, just like, may do full sessions like I would with a standalone or I might just like do little things and explore and, you know, help them to explore under hypnosis where maybe something is stemming from, but then like bring them out and we talk about it, and then I may take them back in to hypnotic state. The more you do hypnosis is like the. If you do it for yourself, the easier it is to get into that state. You can almost do it at will

Bethany Valenti 47:03

Mm.

Monika Sharma 47:04

train your body to do it with certain like, kind of like a process.

Bethany Valenti 47:09

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 47:10

sometimes it could just be a word, you know, it could be as simple as now just a word that can just like subtlety take you back into a pretty deep state of trance.

Bethany Valenti 47:19

Wow. Okay. that sounds kinda familiar in terms of what I've heard when I went to that one training. I think the person who did it talked about using it whenever she flies because of her discomfort with flying. Just having it in some ways, just as another tool for yourself to take care of yourself. Sounds really nice.

Monika Sharma 47:40

it is. And one of the things that I really like about hypnosis is that there's no side effects. You know, you're not putting anything in your body.

Bethany Valenti 47:48

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 47:49

And I love to find. Ways for myself as well as to help my clients find ways to do that, where they don't feel like, they are dependent on something external to them.

Bethany Valenti 48:00

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 48:01

And that's even including like me talking them through and guiding them through hypnosis. If I can help clients to learn it for themselves, then they don't need anything external.

Bethany Valenti 48:12

Is there anyone who it's not a good fit for? Like, I know there's like the 5%, but is there anything that you would want people to know of, like, maybe not for you?

Monika Sharma 48:21

I've had clients where maybe dissociation was already a problem for them,

Bethany Valenti 48:25

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 48:27

you know, to put them in that state of dissociation, like it's more of an ES escape. it's not, they may have like some trust issues with it, with the dissociation. It could be associated with some trauma

Bethany Valenti 48:38

I would.

Monika Sharma 48:38

Not good candidates for

Bethany Valenti 48:40

So that's the main one you'd say,

Monika Sharma 48:43

I would say the main one.

Bethany Valenti 48:44

okay.

Monika Sharma 48:44

One thing too, like people who are highly suggestible,

Bethany Valenti 48:48

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 48:49

to be mindful that when coming out of hypnosis you put things back in place.

Bethany Valenti 48:54

Mm.

Monika Sharma 48:55

I had once gone to a training where it was a doctor, she was an OB gyne and she used hypnosis with the women that she were giving birth.

Bethany Valenti 49:03

Okay.

Monika Sharma 49:03

But one of the things that she had once done is she had one woman visualize, like being I think by a stream of water and like maybe drinking from that, cool stream of water and it really helped to calm her down, but to properly bring her back out of it. she brought her out of hypnosis, but suddenly this woman is just constantly asking for water.

Bethany Valenti 49:22

Oh.

Monika Sharma 49:23

And so she's like, oh my gosh, I really, I didn't sort of put that back And she was

Bethany Valenti 49:27

Hmm.

Monika Sharma 49:28

that desire for water out with her now post hypnosis. And so she had to put her back in hypnosis and like close that, that part up. So

Bethany Valenti 49:38

So what would've happened if she had not put it back?

Monika Sharma 49:41

yeah, I mean, it was just this, like, she was constantly asking for water. She was at the hospital so they could see that right away

Bethany Valenti 49:47

Yeah.

Monika Sharma 49:48

admitted to it right away.

Bethany Valenti 49:49

Yeah.

Monika Sharma 49:50

so that's why also the follow ups are good to schedule. I always will follow up within a couple of days, like, how are things going?

Bethany Valenti 49:55

Yeah.

Monika Sharma 49:56

you know, those things are important.

Bethany Valenti 49:58

Okay.

Monika Sharma 49:58

Follow up.

Bethany Valenti 50:00

so would she have just been perpetually thirsty or just like warm? Like what would her body have kinda like switched it off at some point? Do we know

Monika Sharma 50:08

Yeah. I don't know. Like, because this, again, I was

Bethany Valenti 50:10

Because you're a responsible clinician who would follow up and find out and you would take care of it.

Monika Sharma 50:14

absolutely, I think it's more just that mindfulness that's there.

Bethany Valenti 50:17

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 50:17

learned about it only because she had experienced it and shared her experience

Bethany Valenti 50:20

Okay.

Monika Sharma 50:21

with all of us

Bethany Valenti 50:22

She was like, don't do this.

Monika Sharma 50:23

uhhuh.

Bethany Valenti 50:24

Yeah. I got you,

Monika Sharma 50:26

It's, not necessarily something that you would see with most people, but some people who are just very highly suggestible

Bethany Valenti 50:32

Yes.

Monika Sharma 50:32

that with them post.

Bethany Valenti 50:35

So what would you say clients should look for if they're looking for hypnosis from someone? Should it be with like a mental health provider? Definitely. Someone who's certified, what should they look for?

Monika Sharma 50:49

Yeah. So I would, I will say that not every reason for seeking hypnosis needs to be from a mental health provider.

Bethany Valenti 50:57

Okay.

Monika Sharma 50:57

would say habit change,

Bethany Valenti 50:59

Okay.

Monika Sharma 51:00

could see, anybody who just has good experience with hypnosis has had good training. I went and got trained with the American Society of Clinical Hypnosis because they're required that you have a graduate degree in helping profession,

Bethany Valenti 51:13

Okay.

Monika Sharma 51:13

could be used in conjunction with the license that you already have.

Bethany Valenti 51:18

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 51:18

social workers, it could be physicians, it could be dentists, it could be psychologists. But my mom couldn't go in and get trained with. The American Society of Clinical Hypnosis

Bethany Valenti 51:28

Okay.

Monika Sharma 51:29

Ash for short A SCH. So I also know people who do hypnosis, who don't have any background in mental health,

Bethany Valenti 51:37

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 51:38

And they can be effective with, so my daughter, I actually met somebody who does hypnosis with kids, and she does not have a mental health background. she had offered to provide hypnosis for my daughter who is afraid of heights. And so

Bethany Valenti 51:55

Ah.

Monika Sharma 51:55

and my daughter was just like, oh, it was really cool. She does climbing as an activity

Bethany Valenti 51:59

Oh, cool.

Monika Sharma 52:01

And that, but she can only get so far. And then she's like, okay, back down again. Like, that's it. I'm good. And so she hasn't, like, it's really tough for her to go to the top of the higher walls. And so she, my daughter was game for trying this So she's like, I felt like I was actually there. and so it was and she's gonna do a second session actually later this week.

Bethany Valenti 52:21

Okay.

Monika Sharma 52:22

Like how, 'cause we are just in the middle of this now, but she's someone who doesn't have a mental health background and I feel okay with my daughter seeing her for this particular reason.

Bethany Valenti 52:30

Okay.

Monika Sharma 52:30

to get to the top of the wall.

Bethany Valenti 52:32

Okay.

Monika Sharma 52:33

I would say if there is a mental health component to why you're going

Bethany Valenti 52:37

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 52:38

it would be important to see someone with a mental health background

Bethany Valenti 52:42

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 52:43

They can open up a box of worms and again, not know how to put things back together. So I

Bethany Valenti 52:47

Yes.

Monika Sharma 52:48

try to have, again, like network with other people who just do hypnosis because that can help without intending it. Even sometimes for the simple things that seem like just climbing a wall, like it doesn't seem to be. To have trauma interwoven in that, but it

Bethany Valenti 53:01

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 53:02

could. And so, the other thing though is that people get trained based on their profession. So it may be that you go to see the dentist and a lot of like anxiety about seeing the dentist.

Bethany Valenti 53:15

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 53:16

a trained dentist may then help you calm down and relax

Bethany Valenti 53:20

Yeah.

Monika Sharma 53:21

chair or giving birth.

Bethany Valenti 53:23

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 53:24

suggested

Bethany Valenti 53:25

it?

Monika Sharma 53:25

water, she was an OB gyne, so a medically trained

Bethany Valenti 53:29

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 53:30

physician, but she used to do it to help women with natural childbirth

Bethany Valenti 53:35

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 53:36

birth.

Bethany Valenti 53:36

Okay. So before we wrap up, can we kind of just get a sense of like, overall the work that you like to do? So I know you like to work with single mothers by choice, midlife and business and entrepreneurs kind of high achieving, would you say or?

Monika Sharma 53:55

Burnout. Yeah. It's the high achieving like, so people who are just have been pushing themselves and pushing themselves and pushing themselves and doing all the things, and starting to feel like the burnout

Bethany Valenti 54:03

Yes.

Monika Sharma 54:03

from that.

Bethany Valenti 54:04

That's, it's just good work. I love that. So where are you licensed?

Monika Sharma 54:10

I am licensed in Illinois, but I'm also as a psychologist. I'm part of PSYPACT, which allows me to work with clients from other states who are participating in PSYPACT. if ever a client was interested to find out if they're not in Illinois and they were interested in working with me, they can find out if their state is included by going to the website, which is,

Bethany Valenti 54:30

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 54:30

psypact.com.

Bethany Valenti 54:32

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 54:32

of the states that are included, and then

Bethany Valenti 54:35

Yep,

Monika Sharma 54:35

haven't begun

Bethany Valenti 54:36

I love that site. I always just Google PSYPACT Map anytime. I just need to pull it up. 'Cause they have like that handy map that makes it very fast. 'cause you just find your state really quickly. So based on that you see in-person and virtual or just virtual now, are you exclusively online?

Monika Sharma 54:52

I have been this year exclusively online, but I did just decide to get an office with a colleague

Bethany Valenti 54:59

Okay.

Monika Sharma 55:00

in Chicago,

Bethany Valenti 55:01

Okay.

Monika Sharma 55:01

about.

Bethany Valenti 55:03

Yes.

Monika Sharma 55:04

People keep

Bethany Valenti 55:04

Connection people. Yes.

Monika Sharma 55:07

Exactly.

Bethany Valenti 55:08

do you have openings right now?

Monika Sharma 55:09

I do have openings right

Bethany Valenti 55:11

Yay.

Monika Sharma 55:12

so yeah, if people are interested in seeing me, then they can email me.

Bethany Valenti 55:16

Yeah.

Monika Sharma 55:16

I work from, like more of an acceptance and commitment to therapy

Bethany Valenti 55:20

favorite? Yes.

Monika Sharma 55:21

accept, obviously it's in the name, but this acceptance, like we cannot avoid pain. And it's learning how to increase flexibility and increase tolerance for those painful situations as they come up in life.

Bethany Valenti 55:34

Hmm.

Monika Sharma 55:34

we can move through it with some intention and really like holding onto the things that we value most

Bethany Valenti 55:40

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 55:41

that as sort of our guiding light.

Bethany Valenti 55:43

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 55:43

staying committed and taking action and intentionally leaning in discomfort when that discomfort serves us. That's how growth happens.

Bethany Valenti 55:49

Yes.

Monika Sharma 55:50

And plus I love using metaphors

Bethany Valenti 55:52

Oh my God, yes.

Monika Sharma 55:54

them just to

Bethany Valenti 55:55

Metaphor person.

Monika Sharma 55:56

So I mostly come from that. I have been trained in a systems theory and so I

Bethany Valenti 56:01

Mm,

Monika Sharma 56:02

I've done couples therapy, but it's really about people in the context in which they like, what shaped them as a person. And I see within themselves with the relationships, also beliefs and values. You know, just their culture, just what's going on in the world, which is a lot

Bethany Valenti 56:19

mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 56:20

all of these things, how they shape us, our generation, our just identity all of

Bethany Valenti 56:25

Your whole self? All of it. And not taking insurance? Correct.

Monika Sharma 56:30

And not taking insurance.

Bethany Valenti 56:31

And your current fee is

Monika Sharma 56:33

So for an intake, it's two 50

Bethany Valenti 56:35

Okay.

Monika Sharma 56:36

my fees for sessions is 225.

Bethany Valenti 56:38

Okay.

Monika Sharma 56:38

So I, do also provide courtesy billing just to make things easier, where then a client, they just pay for the service, but then I submit all of the paperwork so that they can get some reimbursement from insurance companies if they've out of network benefits that cover it.

Bethany Valenti 56:53

Okay. Are you a coffee or tea person?

Monika Sharma 56:56

Coffee,

Bethany Valenti 56:57

Coffee.

Monika Sharma 56:58

except at my parents' house because my parents make good Indian tea,

Bethany Valenti 57:02

is it chai or is it something else?

Monika Sharma 57:03

Yep, they do.

Bethany Valenti 57:04

When I went to India, we drank so much chai and it was amazing.

Monika Sharma 57:07

Oh, I didn't know you went to India.

Bethany Valenti 57:09

was converted to chai love, but I swear when you buy chai though, it just, the bags like, it's so not the same. Like, you need like the, like it's just tea. Like I want the milk, I want the sugar, like I want the, the love.

Monika Sharma 57:23

like just different spices and things that go through it

Bethany Valenti 57:26

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 57:27

The Indian, the Indian word for it, but just like the, the cor, the not coriander, is that what I'm trying to

Bethany Valenti 57:34

It might,

Monika Sharma 57:35

might,

Bethany Valenti 57:35

like I've heard that before.

Monika Sharma 57:37

It's a che is what they call it in India.

Bethany Valenti 57:39

Mm.

Monika Sharma 57:39

You know,

Bethany Valenti 57:40

Cool.

Monika Sharma 57:40

cloves and things like that.

Bethany Valenti 57:41

Yeah. Yeah. It's like it all like simmers together, right?

Monika Sharma 57:46

Oh yeah.

Bethany Valenti 57:46

Oh Yeah. Simmer in the love, all that good stuff. And are you, do you have any pets,

Monika Sharma 57:53

I do,

Bethany Valenti 57:53

dog?

Monika Sharma 57:54

you heard me like, she's gonna start barking right

Bethany Valenti 57:56

I think that was before we started recording. That was fun. What kind do you have?

Monika Sharma 58:00

She's a mix between a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel and Bichon Frisé,

Bethany Valenti 58:04

Wow.

Monika Sharma 58:05

So a term Cavachon

Bethany Valenti 58:07

And so one of the things I'm just curious about is what do you like nerd out about? Is there just something that you're just like super into or like to share with people that your clients wouldn't normally know about you?

Monika Sharma 58:17

I, you know, this year I'll say that quitting the group practice and getting myself, I have been reading like crazy. I'm like,

Bethany Valenti 58:25

Yes.

Monika Sharma 58:26

list those books now.

Bethany Valenti 58:28

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 58:28

as well as

Bethany Valenti 58:29

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 58:29

things have been helping me

Bethany Valenti 58:32

Yeah,

Monika Sharma 58:32

the direction that I wanna go professionally. But, oh my gosh, fiction, It's just like this great escape

Bethany Valenti 58:39

it's wonderful.

Monika Sharma 58:39

introduced me to romantasy

Bethany Valenti 58:42

I love those, both psychological thrillers and fantasy and romantasy, all that stuff. It's so fun.

Monika Sharma 58:47

Just like it's the best escape.

Bethany Valenti 58:49

Yeah. one of the reasons I gave up reading to the extent that I love to read while I was in grad school is 'cause I was like, that is all I will do.

Monika Sharma 58:57

mm-hmm.

Bethany Valenti 58:58

What are you reading right now?

Monika Sharma 59:00

So I just finished the the last with Silver of Silver Flames.

Bethany Valenti 59:04

Hmm mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 59:05

I just finished

Bethany Valenti 59:05

Yep.

Monika Sharma 59:06

that.

Bethany Valenti 59:06

That one's long.

Monika Sharma 59:08

That one

Bethany Valenti 59:08

Yeah, that one's got such good trauma stuff in there. I like, the trauma stuff in that one was pretty good.

Monika Sharma 59:13

rarely read the acknowledgement section of the book,

Bethany Valenti 59:16

Mm.

Monika Sharma 59:16

I did in that particular book, and she did talk about how so much of the character of Nesta

Bethany Valenti 59:23

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 59:23

trauma that Nesta had gone through. Like, she really based a lot of Nesta based on her own life and

Bethany Valenti 59:30

Mm. Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 59:32

from therapy.

Bethany Valenti 59:33

Wow.

Monika Sharma 59:34

she wove into that book.

Bethany Valenti 59:35

Yes.

Monika Sharma 59:36

and move through it,

Bethany Valenti 59:37

Yeah.

Monika Sharma 59:38

Not like therapy.

Bethany Valenti 59:39

Yeah. I know there was some stuff in there where you were like, alright.

Monika Sharma 59:42

I know.

Bethany Valenti 59:43

Yeah. Or I often do audio books, especially these days with little kids. So I don't often get the acknowledgement. Sometimes I get some afterwards or whatever. Do you have like a pet peeve that you see out there?

Monika Sharma 59:56

No, I mean, I've got a lot of things that I'd like to see change in our system of

Bethany Valenti 1:00:00

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 1:00:01

mental healthcare. I do not feel like our mental health care supports the mental health providers very well, and I know we also don't see it supporting our, the clients in general very well either with accessibility and things. has being taken over by corporations

Bethany Valenti 1:00:19

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 1:00:19

that sort of power and the work is sort of moving away from just about the clinician and the client. And I know that this also happened with the healthcare field in general. My dad is a retired physician and he was going through those changes, I think starting in the 1990s and

Bethany Valenti 1:00:36

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 1:00:36

must say over how the work

Bethany Valenti 1:00:39

Yeah.

Monika Sharma 1:00:40

Again, another reason I decided to step out of that system with insurance ai, is still very new.

Bethany Valenti 1:00:47

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 1:00:47

to wrap my mind around it.

Bethany Valenti 1:00:51

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 1:00:52

I find it helpful for some things.

Bethany Valenti 1:00:55

Hmm.

Monika Sharma 1:00:55

it could be great source of support

Bethany Valenti 1:00:58

Yeah.

Monika Sharma 1:00:58

I personally do not think that we should be using the word therapy to call what AI does.

Bethany Valenti 1:01:04

No.

Monika Sharma 1:01:05

to see a distinction be made and some education

Bethany Valenti 1:01:08

Hmm.

Monika Sharma 1:01:08

this is what it's really helpful for

Bethany Valenti 1:01:11

Yeah.

Monika Sharma 1:01:11

great tool

Bethany Valenti 1:01:13

Yep.

Monika Sharma 1:01:14

this is what it also where its limitations

Bethany Valenti 1:01:17

Oh yeah.

Monika Sharma 1:01:17

where an actual relationship with the therapist can help.

Bethany Valenti 1:01:20

And do you have a favorite skill that you like to give clients?

Monika Sharma 1:01:24

A lot of the breathing techniques.

Bethany Valenti 1:01:26

Hmm mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 1:01:27

of times people, I mean anxiety is one of the number one

Bethany Valenti 1:01:29

Not breathing.

Monika Sharma 1:01:30

exactly breathing tips is something that I will give to just about every client to

Bethany Valenti 1:01:34

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 1:01:35

or help them calm down if they're feeling a little bit

Bethany Valenti 1:01:37

Yes. It taps into that mind body connection so quickly, I feel like

Monika Sharma 1:01:42

it does. And also helping people to recognize like, you know, this is our life is like a lot of also series of moments that are sort of like together. But like how to realize that whatever you're going through right now is not the end of the story, you know?

Bethany Valenti 1:01:57

Mm,

Monika Sharma 1:01:57

being the age that I am, lived now, I don't know how many cycles of like challenge and difficulty

Bethany Valenti 1:02:03

yeah.

Monika Sharma 1:02:04

just the crumbled or ruined and then it's like suddenly something really amazing starts to spring to life from that. and so just trusting in that process too, like we are continuing to just have these cycles.

Bethany Valenti 1:02:19

Mm.

Monika Sharma 1:02:20

there's opportunity in that for something new

Bethany Valenti 1:02:23

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 1:02:24

Something

Bethany Valenti 1:02:24

Well, Monica, where can people find you if they wanna work with you or learn more about you?

Monika Sharma 1:02:29

My, practice is called Sharma Psychology. And that was also, I was going to name it something else.

Bethany Valenti 1:02:35

Mm-hmm.

Monika Sharma 1:02:35

yourself.

Bethany Valenti 1:02:36

It rolls off the tongue really nicely. Sharma psychology,

Monika Sharma 1:02:39

thank you. So I'm gonna keep it, it is what I'm owning it is my last name, Sharma Psychology. And,

Bethany Valenti 1:02:43

Yes.

Monika Sharma 1:02:44

My website is sharma psych.com and that is S-H-A-R-M-A-P-S-Y-C h.com. And people can email me at Monika, and my name is spelled at the K, so it's M-O-N-I-K-A psych.com. my phone number is three one two nine five five. 3 1 2 9 5 5 1 2 1 2.

Bethany Valenti 1:03:08

I do this, too., I'm laughing with you. I like my business line. I'm like, wait. I felt it. Dr. Monica Sharma, thank you so much for your time today.

Monika Sharma 1:03:17

Thank You for having me.