7. Men's Mental Health, Group Therapy for Black Men, and Personal Growth Dr. Ritch Hall

It can be hard to find the right therapist for you.  Trying to find a therapist as a man, or as a black man?

Welcome to the Say Hello to Your Therapist podcast, hosted by Dr. Bethany Valenti. In this episode, Dr. Valenti welcomes Dr. Ritch Hall, a licensed clinical psychologist and the owner of Psych Works Clinic, specializing in African American cultural issues and treating various mental health concerns. Dr. Hall, also the president of the Cincinnati chapter of the Association of Black Psychologists, shares insights into his career journey, his approach to therapy, and his work with men and mental health. The conversation covers everything from Dr. Hall's motivations for becoming a therapist, the challenges and rewards of working with diverse populations, to the importance of systems-oriented therapy. Tune in for an engaging discussion that touches on development, the importance of therapeutic relationships, and the role of personal interests and experiences in shaping professional practice. This is a must-listen for those interested in mental health, therapeutic practices, and personal growth.

Learn more about Ritch and PsychWorks:

https://psychworksllc.com/

Black Men's Support Group

Psychologize U Podcast

Instagram

TikTok

Hallspace Podcast

To learn more about Bethany Valenti, PsyD:

Bethany's Website

Say Hello to Your Therapist Podcast Instagram

Bethany's Instagram

Bethany's Facebook Page

Things we talked about:

PsyPact Map

NewPath Child & Family Solutions (formerly St. Joseph Orphanage)

Lindner Center of Hope

Beckett Springs

Central Clinic Behavioral Services

Peppermint Peak Tea

Old Spice Lavender & Mint Soap

Marvel Movies

Steven Universe

Zelda

Fallout

Superman

Foundations

The Three Body Problem

Moby Dick

K-Pop Demon Hunters

Squishmallow

Fantastic Four

00:00 Introduction to the Podcast and Guest

01:38 Welcoming Dr. Ritch Hall

01:54 Dr. Hall's Journey to Becoming a Therapist

04:09 Therapist Office and Personal Interests

04:33 Podcasting and Personal Life

06:22 Challenges and Rewards of Therapy

10:30 Graduate School and Family Life

14:18 Working with Children and Adolescents

17:21 Philosophy and Societal Reflections

34:32 Therapeutic Relationships and Ethics

39:14 Navigating Relationship Dynamics

39:48 Men's Mental Health Insights

42:18 Therapeutic Challenges and Growth

43:52 The Role of Systems in Therapy

50:48 Group Therapy for Black Men

53:51 Choosing the Right Therapist

56:43 Nerdy Connections in The

Transcript

0:00

Welcome to the Say Hello to your therapist podcast. I'm Dr. Bethany Valenti. Join me as we say hello to Dr. Ritch Hall, a licensed clinical psychologist and the owner of Psych Works Clinic. He specializes in African American cultural issues and has experienced treating various presenting concerns including ADHD, anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, social awkwardness, And developmental life stress. He is the current president of the Cincinnati chapter of the Association of Black Psychologists. He has appeared several times on Cincinnati's local channel twelves Good morning Cincinnati program Ritch also has a podcast called Psychologize You, where he and his guests work to educate, inform, and reduce stigma around mental health topics. He is also a friend and colleague of mine. For context, we met when we both worked at Miami University student counseling service. Shout out to them, miss you all. Today we are catching up and chatting about his work with men, his approach to therapy and more. We joke at the end that we hope you're able to keep up with our energies and tangents. Just a reminder that the opinions expressed in this episode are our own and are not a substitute for mental or medical health advice from a professional with whom you have a relationship. Don't forget to check out the show notes to learn more about Ritch and things we talked about.

Bethany Valenti 1:38

Welcome Dr. Rich Hall to the podcast.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:41

Thanks for having me.

Bethany Valenti 1:42

I'm so glad you're here. You're one of my favorite people. I just want people to know that like I am probably just gonna be incredibly giddy 'cause one of my absolute favorite people is here. Well, dunno what I'm gonna do about that. But how about we start with I actually don't know this at all about you,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:59

sure.

Bethany Valenti 2:00

made you wanna become a therapist?

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 2:01

Oh yeah, no, I can talk about that at length. I won, wanted to be a therapist since like middle school when I found out there was a job where you just talk to

Bethany Valenti 2:09

Talk to people.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 2:10

office with a couch and a plant. And so I was like, that sounds like the perfect job.

Bethany Valenti 2:15

The ideal setting.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 2:16

Right, right, right. And as most therapists, I was a good listener and. liked helping people solve problems.

Bethany Valenti 2:22

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 2:23

So, you know, someone told me there was a career path that I could get on that and would be fine. And yeah, everybody told me at the time, you're gonna be rich. And it was like, oh, absolutely, I'd like to be rich. Just listen. And I'll say that like I always had a curiosity about people, like I did not understand why people weren't who they say they are.

Bethany Valenti 2:41

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 2:42

so, wanting to better understand the human, as a, what we now call neurodivergent person. Back then, you were just weird. Being a weirdo back then meant I wanted to understand why people didn't match up to who and what they say they are.

Bethany Valenti 2:55

yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 2:56

so the interest in pursuing a thing where I could talk to people was like the lighting of the fire. What kept me inspired to follow the path towards therapy was I took one of my first psychology classes and it was like, oh, this is gonna teach me how humans are.

Bethany Valenti 3:10

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 3:11

So then it became, I gotta learn more about the humans. And then had a black therapist or a black psychologist as one of my first teachers as well.

Bethany Valenti 3:21

Oh,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 3:22

I could see myself as that, Dr. Kenji at University of Cincinnati.

Bethany Valenti 3:25

Like, so You mean like professor? I was gonna be like, as a high school teacher? There was a psychology teacher.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 3:29

no.

Bethany Valenti 3:29

Okay, okay.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 3:30

It was The first time I had black professors, teachers was college

Bethany Valenti 3:34

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 3:35

Dr. Kenji and Dr. Kathy Ough. and then they went on to be my mentors. And still to this day, I

Bethany Valenti 3:40

Yeah. I feel like you've mentioned them before.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 3:42

they are my triumvirate of

Bethany Valenti 3:44

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 3:44

Dr. Kathy Ough and Dr. John Thomas were genuinely the people that helped me understand what it meant to

Bethany Valenti 3:50

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 3:52

And so along the way I just collected them like my infinity stones of like

Bethany Valenti 3:57

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 3:58

And guidance. So anytime I think, I think there's a corner I can't see around. I call one of them and ask what am I doing? And then yes, the journey to become a therapist was an interest in having an office with a plant. As you can see, office

Bethany Valenti 4:11

Yes. Multiple plants. you're a plant guy, right? You got plants

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 4:14

I went a little crazy with it. During, COVID, it became a thing I could do.

Bethany Valenti 4:18

became one of your, one of your identities.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 4:20

many plants you can't see. It's like a wall of plants on this side.

Bethany Valenti 4:23

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 4:25

Went a little hard on the plants. My wife is always like, do you need another plant? And I was like, I don't understand why you hate me.

Bethany Valenti 4:30

why would you gut me in this way?

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 4:31

Right,

Bethany Valenti 4:32

Right.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 4:32

I don't need this judgment.

Bethany Valenti 4:33

speaking of her though, you've had podcasts one or two in the past? I think two, I think.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 4:38

ran two podcasts at one time.

Bethany Valenti 4:41

One time I've listened to a few of yours in the past. It's been years now, but if anyone ever just wants to listen for a good time, find the episode of Dr. Ritch Hall and his wife, Nicole, because I think about it frequently because one of the things that she and my husband have in common is that they collect beverage, utensils, glasses,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 5:06

Cups.

Bethany Valenti 5:07

cups, any sort of like Vessel like that on their bedside table. Correct.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 5:11

Yes.

Bethany Valenti 5:12

still doing that?

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 5:13

Yes. Cup City

Bethany Valenti 5:13

Cup City. Yes, I was. Remember like I'm picturing like the skyline of it, city. Yes. Anytime we're running out of cups in my house, it's like, I think we probably need to clear

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 5:24

Right.

Bethany Valenti 5:24

The bedside table.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 5:25

Cup City.

Bethany Valenti 5:26

Yep.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 5:27

need to tear down Cup City and build something

Bethany Valenti 5:29

I.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 5:29

in that area. Yes. No.

Bethany Valenti 5:30

So when you mentioned that about the plants, why are you judging me it this way? I just be like, cups, cup City.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 5:35

Cup

Bethany Valenti 5:35

Cup city, man.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 5:36

Cup City is right there and you wanna look over here to the plants, to all the greenery. I've added to your life.

Bethany Valenti 5:42

Yep.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 5:43

Yes. No, cup City is totally a thing. And it's, it is a frequent issue in my marriage. And I'm a, this is my water bottle. This

Bethany Valenti 5:52

Yes.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 5:52

I just use the one water bottle. 'cause then I don't have to worry about cups.

Bethany Valenti 5:55

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 5:56

Cool and cold and I never could spill. Right.

Bethany Valenti 5:59

Yeah. Just fill it up.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 6:01

we're good Yep. But for her there's booby traps around the house cause drank something, set it down, a day old coffee that I might knock over somewhere.

Bethany Valenti 6:10

or the children or something.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 6:12

just around every corner. So yeah,

Bethany Valenti 6:14

So one of the things, because I used to be much more like that with like, here's my one vessel, here's my water bottle, I'm taking it everywhere with me. And then started working from home and that just has reconfigured how I do a lot of things and move stuff around. So I'm getting to be a little more similar to them, but still just tend to like stick. I actually will bring stuff back, you know what I mean? Fairly regularly.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 6:37

Yeah. Yeah. Imagine making it back to the sink with the object you

Bethany Valenti 6:40

You know, It might take a few times, but like, I'll do it, you know?

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 6:44

Yeah.

Bethany Valenti 6:44

But one of the things that really would throw me off was like, for having both of the kids. Like there would just be water sitting around and hydration was like, just so key. And so I would just pick up one of the glasses that was sitting around and I would just drink them because I'm like, okay, he's not gonna come back to it. Like, he will forget that this glass is here. the only time that ever screwed me was that it was a lot older than I thought it was, and it tasted like a whiteboard, like it was awful.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 7:14

Oh.

Bethany Valenti 7:14

So,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 7:15

risking your life doing that.

Bethany Valenti 7:16

yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 7:17

like particularly now that you have kids there's no way of knowing what they have in their system,

Bethany Valenti 7:22

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 7:23

producing to your ecosystem. I would never do that.

Bethany Valenti 7:27

No.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 7:27

take My kids leave water bottles everywhere and I just, dump 'em in the plants, is what I

Bethany Valenti 7:30

Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Like, so they go somewhere, right? Like plants or like, I'm drinking it, or Yes. if I get the sense that it's super old, it's going in the sink, you know,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 7:39

I will water a plant in a heartbeat my son now uses my office at home, and so if I see a

Bethany Valenti 7:43

Mm,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 7:44

it's like, oh, plants. Thanks.

Bethany Valenti 7:46

thanks. Because I, you know, like I'm terrible about keeping my plants alive, so it's like, oh, thank you. We're just leaving this here. I'm gonna put it,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 7:53

we go.

Bethany Valenti 7:53

put it away. So plants became another part of your therapist personality

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 7:58

Yes. it's actually like, I think it like keeps the office from being like, I'm a little, we, we haven't talked about it on the podcast, but Bethany, and I have both discussed like,

Bethany Valenti 8:06

Yes.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 8:07

we both have ADHD. That's probably part of why

Bethany Valenti 8:09

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 8:09

we like each other. We study

Bethany Valenti 8:10

Get along so well.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 8:11

because we're so mercurial in a conversation. We'll notice that from this very

Bethany Valenti 8:16

We will follow each other very well.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 8:18

Mm-hmm. so, my office often has a clutter to it, but when you have too many plants, it just makes it look like a jungle. It doesn't

Bethany Valenti 8:26

Mm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 8:27

junk. You know what I

Bethany Valenti 8:28

Yeah. Yeah

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 8:30

in that way I can overindulge and for the most part people are like, oh, it's very nice in here. You got it. So nice.

Bethany Valenti 8:36

yeah,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 8:36

what are all these knickknacks?

Bethany Valenti 8:37

All thes.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 8:38

And it's like, I just was in a Lego phase.

Bethany Valenti 8:40

Are you not doing the Lego stuff as much anymore?

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 8:42

much. I'm out of the Lego phase. And what's funny is, you know, on a personal note, I'm discussing deconstructing the office and it's like, what am I gonna do with all these Legos?

Bethany Valenti 8:50

Oh

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 8:51

so many Legos, Lego mini figures. So

Bethany Valenti 8:53

yeah. The little ones.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 8:54

I don't wanna like get rid of them, but also like, where do I put them? I don't know. Am I put 'em in a box for a while? 'cause once I

Bethany Valenti 9:00

Yeah,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 9:01

disappear from the world

Bethany Valenti 9:02

yeah. Dangerous. Yeah. Yep. You can't see 'em? They're gone.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 9:06

Yeah. And some of them you could probably sell to some schmo who wants 'em? I don't know.

Bethany Valenti 9:09

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 9:10

that's a inside baseball life thing that I'm thinking about

Bethany Valenti 9:13

Right. One step at a time.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 9:15

time to deconstruct that part of the office.

Bethany Valenti 9:18

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 9:19

what am I gonna do with all those records? I'm still listening to the records, but like, where do I move the record collection if I switch out the office? These are, life questions that I

Bethany Valenti 9:26

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 9:26

particularly collectors like myself, who.

Bethany Valenti 9:29

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 9:30

where does the space go for the collection?

Bethany Valenti 9:33

That's my biggest stress. Anytime I get into stuff or like, people are like, oh, you can like buy all these things. I'm like, I will lose them. it's another thing I gotta organize. It's another thing that I'm gonna not do well.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 9:43

Yeah.

Bethany Valenti 9:43

So I'm very reluctant to commit to a whole lot of stuff, you know, like in terms of,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 9:48

that. When I, when I'm in it, I'm in it. I'm like,

Bethany Valenti 9:50

yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 9:51

Now I'm learning leather working. I'm gonna buy all the tools for leather working and Oh no, I'm done with leather working. I guess. So moving on.

Bethany Valenti 10:00

Yeah. Yeah. I keep thinking I'm gonna come back to some of mine, but like Yeah. I mean, we talked about kids, Your kids are older than mine, so maybe I'll, I'll be back into that kind of stuff.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 10:08

once they get past a certain age, you can, and you get the bandwidth back.

Bethany Valenti 10:11

Yeah,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 10:12

the younger they are, the more of your brain you're using to like keep them alive. And then once they start to handle those things themselves, then it becomes

Bethany Valenti 10:20

yeah,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 10:21

I got time to think about stuff. What am I, what do I want?

Bethany Valenti 10:23

Yeah,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 10:24

I think Records. I'm gonna get all the jazz records in a 40 mile radius.

Bethany Valenti 10:30

Because you went to grad school. Did you have kids while you were in grad school? Why do I feel like you did?

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 10:34

I do

Bethany Valenti 10:35

You did?

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 10:35

I do not recommend it. one star do not recommend. Like, kids are awesome, but to do it while try to do a degree is

Bethany Valenti 10:40

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 10:41

foolish. But at that point, so I went back to graduate school like five years. So wait, graduated in 2001.

Bethany Valenti 10:50

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 10:50

back to graduate school in 2005.

Bethany Valenti 10:53

Okay.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 10:53

At that point I was cruising towards 30 at that point in my

Bethany Valenti 10:57

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 10:57

and so it became a matter of do I hold off on these life things?

Bethany Valenti 11:03

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 11:04

I had been dating my now wife for at that point, seven, eight years when

Bethany Valenti 11:09

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 11:10

Like, how long do I make her wait to married and to do this kid thing? She's not getting younger. They start calling it a geriatric pregnancy.

Bethany Valenti 11:17

I think they're starting to move away from that language, but it's basically what they're saying.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 11:21

So we're, you know, we're getting married. She's having these conversations with her, doctor, and we're like, wait, what? Like, we're, we're in the risk zone already, like,

Bethany Valenti 11:29

Hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 11:30

like what are we talking about? And so, yeah, it was just a matter of like, the first kid was an, oops, okay, we're pregnant, let's do this. Second kid was a, she wants a second kid. Third kid was an oops, and I will say that like my mqes were done with a kid. my thesis was done with a kid in my lap and my dissertation was done the last time, with Victoria in my lap, so,

Bethany Valenti 11:55

That's amazing.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 11:56

crazy

Bethany Valenti 11:56

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 11:57

the end of my dissertation and I remember. Victoria was born early.

Bethany Valenti 12:01

yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 12:01

She was born in November, so she was two months early. And I remember calling my mentor like, I know we were aiming for a January, February date,

Bethany Valenti 12:09

Right.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 12:10

My life just blew up. Like this baby almost killed my wife.

Bethany Valenti 12:14

My will kill. I was gonna say, I was waiting for that to drop.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 12:16

this baby almost killed my wife, or they took the baby out months early. She's in a box right now. I don't know what I'm doing.

Bethany Valenti 12:22

Yeah. Yeah. I got two other kids. I got two other kids.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 12:26

and I've got two other kids. She's the last kid. We're gonna do.

Bethany Valenti 12:29

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 12:29

maybe we pushed my date back, maybe.

Bethany Valenti 12:32

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 12:32

and my mentor was like, no. just basically told me, no, we, have to

Bethany Valenti 12:37

Like we have to finish it.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 12:38

And I

Bethany Valenti 12:38

Wow.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 12:39

know,

Bethany Valenti 12:39

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 12:40

I couldn't a hundred percent tell you how it happened

Bethany Valenti 12:42

Oh yeah. Blur at this point.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 12:44

and it literally happened with her in my lap. Like there's a baby in my lap and I'm over the baby typing.

Bethany Valenti 12:49

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 12:49

her quiet in the middle of the night. Because she was a, she was a bit of a wake up screaming per kid. and she loved to be connected to you. Like, she was very like, I'd like to be strapped to you at all times. I remember. So,

Bethany Valenti 13:00

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 13:01

join with me at times and I'm doing stuff

Bethany Valenti 13:03

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 13:04

I've got my articles spread out. I remember that was how I wrote in graduate school. Like I would

Bethany Valenti 13:09

Spread it all out.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 13:11

front of

Bethany Valenti 13:11

Get it all in front of you.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 13:12

grab that page

Bethany Valenti 13:13

Grab it when you need it. Yes. Yes.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 13:15

a note on this one, the note on that

Bethany Valenti 13:17

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 13:17

what, when did I say this thing? it's over there.

Bethany Valenti 13:20

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 13:20

And she's, you know, that's, that's impossible to do when you have kids. 'cause they come right into the room and they're like, this is awesome. There's papers on the floor

Bethany Valenti 13:27

Papers.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 13:28

You're

Bethany Valenti 13:28

It's confetti. Yeah. No, like

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 13:30

That's Daddy's brain. On the floor. Please respect daddy's brain.

Bethany Valenti 13:33

Daddy's brain on the floor.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 13:36

I, I can't, I can't think if you mix these up, like if these get outta order

Bethany Valenti 13:40

You're gonna break my brain.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 13:42

You, you'll have broken my brain and I need this for us to function like

Bethany Valenti 13:45

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 13:46

Cheerios. If I don't finish this thing,

Bethany Valenti 13:49

Yeah. Yeah. You want the Cheerios, right?

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 13:53

this is

Bethany Valenti 13:54

Just get this done. Lemme just get this done.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 13:56

There'll be no more French toast if daddy doesn't get this all together

Bethany Valenti 13:58

It's pretty crucial.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 14:00

So yeah.

Bethany Valenti 14:03

It was good times. were you trained as a generalist?

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 14:06

Yes.

Bethany Valenti 14:07

Yeah, that's what my program was too. Like generalist being like no specific specialty or like,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 14:14

yeah.

Bethany Valenti 14:15

a clinical focus per se. Like just very open. Right.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 14:19

I ended up doing a lot of kid work in graduate school just because I came from my first job out of undergrad was for a place that was originally called St. Joseph's Orphanage, now called New Path Health or something like

Bethany Valenti 14:31

Oh, okay.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 14:33

but like, so one of my first jobs with my psychology degree was working with kids

Bethany Valenti 14:38

Good.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 14:38

Afterschool program called Connections. And I always told people that like, imagine every classroom has one or two bad kids in it, who are probably ADHD, ODD, or explosive disorder, whatever, whatever. And now imagine that the city decided they needed a program where you took that one or two kids from every classroom and put 'em in one

Bethany Valenti 14:59

Put 'em all together.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 15:01

Fourteen kids with mental health issues. Usually baseline, ADHD, maybe, uh, PTSD,

Bethany Valenti 15:08

Wow.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 15:09

ODD, in a room together. And you gotta teach 'em social skills and coping skills and sometimes team building skills.

Bethany Valenti 15:15

how big were the groups?

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 15:17

the group maximum was supposed to be 14,

Bethany Valenti 15:19

that didn't happen.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 15:20

So somewhere around 24,

Bethany Valenti 15:24

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 15:24

if they could get 28, they'd want 28 in the

Bethany Valenti 15:26

dude.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 15:27

it supposed to be four of us,

Bethany Valenti 15:29

In there? Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 15:30

all those kids because of the ratios. so, it is like each person was allowed seven. So seven and seven.

Bethany Valenti 15:37

It's a very quiet room. I imagine.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 15:39

Oh my god the loundest room

Bethany Valenti 15:40

I picture,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 15:41

Yeah.

Bethany Valenti 15:41

picture it very still.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 15:44

you would either have the quiet days were actually the worst,

Bethany Valenti 15:47

Mm,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 15:47

the rowdy days where someone say, jumping up on a table and, and singing Ludacris. Like, that's a, you know what to do with that kid in that moment. Or two

Bethany Valenti 15:55

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 15:56

into a fight. Now it's caused a disruption. Sometimes there'll be those days where everybody's fighting and like, there's just two of us in the room.

Bethany Valenti 16:01

Mm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 16:02

Four of us we have access to, and maybe we can call up on them to get somebody from another floor if they're not in

Bethany Valenti 16:06

Yeah. Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 16:08

Full moon, full moon weekends were like, oh my God, like this place is a powder keg

Bethany Valenti 16:11

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 16:12

the quiet days were worse because didn't they tell you what they'd been through? So if they got like quiet and just told you what they had experienced as children, it would like shock you to your core. You'd be like, oh my God, like someone did this to

Bethany Valenti 16:26

To you.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 16:26

Like you are not a, they didn't just spring up that way. Like they were more often environmental factors that contributed to the what and the why of who they were. And to hear those things, it was just always harrowing. There's this little person with this child's voice telling you the most horrific things a person could do to another person.

Bethany Valenti 16:45

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 16:46

then you're like, oh, okay, so now I understand why you spit and, and kick and you know, bite adults because

Bethany Valenti 16:52

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 16:52

you've been victimized in ways that no person should. Definitely not a child. and I'm not saying like, hey, every behavior they engaged in was justified, but there

Bethany Valenti 17:01

Right,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 17:02

oh, like you were never taught to regulate.

Bethany Valenti 17:05

right.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 17:05

right. You were instead abused. You were never taught how to like calm yourself down. you were raged at, and so you only learned rage. And that there was no, like, we were the mechanism that someone created. Like, I, you know, I've done a lot of thought about this as I've developed my own agency. Like society doesn't have the nets to hold people like that. Like they leave it in the hands of the nonprofit sector. And so this Catholic organization is collecting these kids from all across the city, but society has said, well, I mean, but they're not like contributing financially. So should we be supporting them?

Bethany Valenti 17:41

Right.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 17:41

we'll give you the

Bethany Valenti 17:42

The ultimate question.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 17:43

Right, right. We'll give you the bare minimum. You'll have 'em for four, you'll have 'em for five hours, but we'll give you three hours worth of pay because you can bill for the three hours of clinical work that you

Bethany Valenti 17:52

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 17:53

rest of it, that's, you decide to keep 'em longer. Like, I mean, I don't know what you're supposed to do. Like I pay your employees how you pay your employees.

Bethany Valenti 17:59

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 17:59

know, It's a weird once again, we have a very strange society. the things that drew me to psychology was like, as a society, we know we need people, right? Like, we should have more for the people that keep the society going. And yet society's like capital. We need money. And do you,

Bethany Valenti 18:16

Right.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 18:16

are you prioritizing certain things that probably don't matter to humans?

Bethany Valenti 18:21

Yeah,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 18:22

instead like leaving humans in the dust to avoid acknowledging what humans need from each other.

Bethany Valenti 18:29

yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 18:30

thinking that that's where I learned the philosophy of like, some of those kids wouldn't be that bad if they just had like a healthy, functional human being with them all the time.

Bethany Valenti 18:38

Yes. All the time. Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 18:40

Like help to guide them like oh man hey man don't do that. Like, calm down.

Bethany Valenti 18:42

Yeah. Like that's not how we do that.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 18:45

sit down with them and hang out with them for the day and like, they had someone to look to, someone they could respect and feel a certain amount of affection and affinity for. Those were usually my best successes was like I had the time to give that kid, even though there are seven 14 13 other kids in the room.

Bethany Valenti 19:00

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 19:00

if you could just form that connection with the kid, then now I have a bridge to help them come over to the side of, you don't have to flip out, you don't have to get

Bethany Valenti 19:08

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 19:08

to fight. There's someone who listens

Bethany Valenti 19:09

We have other choices.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 19:10

Right,

Bethany Valenti 19:11

yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 19:11

as a society, we're kinda like, nah. But I mean like o, there's so many other priorities. Don't you want a shiny new cell phone every year? It's like, no, we

Bethany Valenti 19:19

No,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 19:19

be like taking care of the people that actually make this whole thing run because we need the people. But what do I know? That's why I'm not an

Bethany Valenti 19:25

I dunno. you haven't studied this, you don't work with people.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 19:29

Right,

Bethany Valenti 19:29

no. None of that.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 19:31

right.

Bethany Valenti 19:31

And I can't

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 19:31

think they used to call us bleeding heart liberals back in the day. I guess I got a bleeding heart 'cause I care about the people.

Bethany Valenti 19:37

just, stop that.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 19:38

Yeah.

Bethany Valenti 19:39

I feel like I, tell me if this is like my bias or just like, because of, okay. I could talk through like why I'm thinking this. I'm picturing mostly boys in this group, or were they all boys? Like, okay, see, okay, see that's the thing. So that's why I was like, is that, I was wondering if that was sort of like my bias But also like, I was kind of then thinking, well, am I picturing that also because that's who would be sent there. You know what I mean?

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 20:02

No, no, no. So it was kids between the ages of six or 17.

Bethany Valenti 20:08

Hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 20:09

all ages, like demographically, mostly black and white.

Bethany Valenti 20:13

Okay.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 20:13

Just because of the demographics of Cincinnati at that time

Bethany Valenti 20:15

Right.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 20:15

and I probably like, anytime there was a language or barrier or anything like that, like we weren't equipped to handle that.

Bethany Valenti 20:21

Yeah, that's fair.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 20:22

and so, developmentally, like they could be within a, many of them had like, what, what's the like, mental mental capacity issues. My, my brain is blanking on the actual terminology for,

Bethany Valenti 20:36

like the functioning,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 20:38

functioning, but not like we couldn't have someone with like a full autistic disorder or a heavy developmental delay.

Bethany Valenti 20:45

Okay.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 20:45

they had a certain capacity. So you'd have a little white girl, you know, who'd tell you that did seven times versus a, 17-year-old black kid who, could literally rock you if he decided he was gonna punch you one good time.

Bethany Valenti 21:00

Right.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 21:00

So,

Bethany Valenti 21:01

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 21:02

know, you tried your best to maintain a level of respect and authority in that environment. I will say like as I look back on it, there is a fondness to it. There were some times where it was a really good. Job. Yeah. There was a lot of time where it was like the worst. Like, once again, you'd walk into a chaos, a cacophony of like noise and dysfunction.

Bethany Valenti 21:22

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 21:22

it did teach me, I remember I went to graduate school, like thinking I could walk into any room and if I can

Bethany Valenti 21:27

I was gonna say, you probably can't be phased by much of anything these days. I've always felt like you were so open to whatever you were walking into, and now that I have that piece of your history, I fully believe that.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 21:38

Right, right, right. it, to me, it's like, if I can step into a room of 14 kids like that and teach them coping skills, there's probably nobody, I couldn't do a platform presentation.

Bethany Valenti 21:48

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 21:49

Give me a topic. And a lot of times you'd be thrown in cold. Like, that was one of my skills. Like, something just happened.,

Bethany Valenti 21:53

Oh, yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 21:54

Someone got pulled out. Can you do this? Cause we can't charge. If we don't. And it's like, all right, fine. I will go in there and do a platform. Today's coping skill is, optimism versus pessimism. Those are big words. Who knows those words? If people have done it with me, they know optimism is thinking good about yourself. Pessimism thinking is bad about yourself.

Bethany Valenti 22:11

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 22:12

use the words just to confuse them. What I mean, like, I know with the spectrum of ability in this room, you're not gonna get those words the first time. But if I

Bethany Valenti 22:19

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 22:19

repeat them over and over again, you'll learn a

Bethany Valenti 22:20

Yep.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 22:21

new vocab word and you'll learn that sometimes we look at my life negatively. Like we look at only the bad. How do we learn to choose the good sometimes, right? And so I could

Bethany Valenti 22:29

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 22:29

I'm doing that now. I would read all the manuals and then kind of mentally like shred them up.

Bethany Valenti 22:35

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 22:35

What resonates with the audience when I start talking? And I would never use the manual again. I would always just kind of freestyle it.

Bethany Valenti 22:42

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 22:43

I remember when I was on internship interviews, I would say that I could do a group cold and they were like, no, you can't. I was like, no, I can. Like you want me to do one at this table right now?

Bethany Valenti 22:51

But I have,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 22:53

done it hundreds of times in much more perilous situations than the people in this room, I'll do one right now off the top of my head using. Things like I'll genuinely freestyle it right now there was like a moment where I was at an agency that was like a community mental health agency, and they were like, well, you could be called in. And I know my graduate peers could not do that. Like they were, they were way greener than I was. I do a group on this table right now, it's called the Bears and Table speech. I've done it hundreds of times. people are your brain is wired to be afraid of bears. So if a bear walks into this room, you're going to freak out.

Bethany Valenti 23:23

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 23:24

table's been in this room the whole time, and you've probably forgotten what color the table is. You probably just assume brown,

Bethany Valenti 23:28

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 23:29

The carpet is what color you've been standing on the carpet the whole time. It's kept you up, it's done its job, and yet you've ignored it. But if a bear walks in, it becomes the most important thing in your life. Why? Because. There's a threat.

Bethany Valenti 23:39

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 23:39

bear is a threat. It's a genuine threat. The part of your brain that keeps you out, that goes in the fight or flight begins to immediately start asking, how do I get the hell outta here? you don't get into that part of your brain that like breaks things down into minute details. Like, is the bear wearing a hat? Is he gonna tricycle? Like there's no questions. A bear is into the

Bethany Valenti 23:56

It's a bear. The main information is a bear.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 23:59

now in understanding this phenomenon, the bear is important. The floor is not, there's a lot of more things in your life that are the floor that you might treat like a bear because you trained by virtue of your experience to be afraid of things because of what's happened to you in the past, because of what you've experienced, what you've gone through. So if we could, in the group time we have now, let's talk about what the bear in your life might be. Boom.

Bethany Valenti 24:25

Shut up. Love that so much. Oh my God.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 24:33

It was a killer. So when I was at Lindner, I would do it anytime. They Ritch, can

Bethany Valenti 24:35

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 24:36

you do a group? Absolutely bear And tables we're doing bears and tables. And then they'd be like, that is so profound. Yes. The bear in my life is my mother and I'm sure. Yes. Let, tell me more

Bethany Valenti 24:45

Yes.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 24:45

ideas on how she could deal with when her body gets activated. Triggered. Lindner was big,

Bethany Valenti 24:50

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 24:50

Lindner center of, hope in, uh, Mason,

Bethany Valenti 24:53

You were like so ingrained into Cincinnati, like so many parts of Cincinnati, Yes.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 24:57

I've worked so many places in Cincinnati. I didn't work at Beckett Springs. 'Cause it just came up when I was coming outta graduate school.

Bethany Valenti 25:01

Yeah. It's a little newer.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 25:02

And the va, but other than that I worked at

Bethany Valenti 25:04

You've been most places.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 25:06

Mm-hmm.

Bethany Valenti 25:06

Yep. I remember Central Clinic.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 25:08

Children's, but I never worked at Children's

Bethany Valenti 25:10

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 25:10

been in every pie,

Bethany Valenti 25:12

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 25:12

In this city, just because I was in the wor I was, I've been in here, I've been here for so long too.

Bethany Valenti 25:16

yeah. 'cause I know you're from West Virginia, but did you come to UC for school?

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 25:20

I moved to Cincinnati in 1990 when I was in middle school.

Bethany Valenti 25:22

that's right.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 25:22

so at this point, like when people ask where you're from, I just say

Bethany Valenti 25:25

Say Cincinnati, right?

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 25:26

I spent the bottom 12 or 13 in West Virginia and then the other like, I'm 47 now,

Bethany Valenti 25:33

Now we're at the majority,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 25:35

Right, right.

Bethany Valenti 25:35

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 25:36

And so I went to, ended up at like Aiken High School and then graduated, went straight to UC, and then matriculated there for like six years. 'cause I'm a little neuro divergent. Didn't know at the time, but ADHD was affecting how I

Bethany Valenti 25:47

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 25:48

performed as a student. And then graduated from there, went to St. Joe's and then went back to UC for graduate school In 2005

Bethany Valenti 25:55

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 25:57

was there for another eight years

Bethany Valenti 25:59

Yes. And then we worked together for God. How many years were you at Miami? I was there for like six, eight years.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 26:08

from 2013 to 2022.

Bethany Valenti 26:10

feel like you and I overlapped like four of those years.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 26:13

maybe. what's funny is like that's such a muddy, let's if we take the COVID of it all out of the

Bethany Valenti 26:18

Oh my God, yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 26:20

I know I started there in 2013. I did my internship there in 2011 to 2012 and then started there in 2013,

Bethany Valenti 26:28

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 26:28

As a full-time employee. And then I guess you came along.

Bethany Valenti 26:32

That's what I thought. You'd been there for a couple years before. 'cause I started there in 2018.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 26:36

There we go. So yeah,

Bethany Valenti 26:37

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 26:37

I remember Bethany Valenti name was

Bethany Valenti 26:39

Here I am.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 26:40

no, your maiden name. It was originally your maiden name

Bethany Valenti 26:42

Yeah, it was my maiden name. I got married.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 26:44

maiden name? I remember the A DHD me had a hard time changing to your new

Bethany Valenti 26:48

Yeah. That's fair.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 26:50

because we had been talking about you

Bethany Valenti 26:51

Yes.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 26:52

your beta name and then

Bethany Valenti 26:54

Yes. 'cause remember it took me like a month to actually get started. They hired me and then there was a mistake. And so I'm sure it was just like, yeah, this Bethany Hufferd, she's coming. And then she came and then like literally I got,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 27:05

an H name and so you were gonna be next to me in the

Bethany Valenti 27:07

yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 27:08

why I

Bethany Valenti 27:08

Okay.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 27:09

starts

Bethany Valenti 27:09

We'll be right there. Yep. And then like literally, I got married, I started in September, got married in, November.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 27:16

right. And it was like, but I met you as Bethany Hufferd. So what are you doing? Why are you doing this to me personally?

Bethany Valenti 27:21

It's quite personal.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 27:22

right. I just met you. You're gonna change your name like in a month. Why

Bethany Valenti 27:25

This is,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 27:25

That's,

Bethany Valenti 27:26

I know it's rude.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 27:28

Your husband, he had demands.

Bethany Valenti 27:32

we wanted children with the same names as ours. Like, it's just, you know,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 27:36

Patriarchy, whatever.

Bethany Valenti 27:41

That was good. so like, that was a very generalist setting to get back to that. But then now, you've always had some passions though, like of the work that you do. so even though you still see kids, you still see a pretty wide variety of presentations. what would you say your big passions are right now?

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 28:00

So right now I'd say a lot of my passion is working with men. Like there are, you

Bethany Valenti 28:04

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 28:05

14 black male therapists period in the

Bethany Valenti 28:07

period.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 28:08

I'm one of like three or four psychologists in the city that are male.

Bethany Valenti 28:13

that's hard. Like males, period. And then you get the intersection of like males and black

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 28:18

And so in that, it's always been like the traditionally since the moment I stepped into the field,

Bethany Valenti 28:24

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 28:24

wanted black male kids to come to me. I did a lot of kid work 'cause nobody else wanted to do it.

Bethany Valenti 28:29

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 28:30

with kid work and then they were like, my son needs someone like you and Like I'm a, I'm a nerd. Like,

Bethany Valenti 28:36

so you know.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 28:37

one thing I learned pretty

Bethany Valenti 28:38

Yeah,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 28:39

the kid might not have a frame of reference for a guy like me.

Bethany Valenti 28:41

yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 28:42

guy, like maybe he sees a guy like me on tv but otherwise I don't look like what he sees as a black male. So now

Bethany Valenti 28:49

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 28:49

spend some time bridging the, I'm a black man who's just gonna listen to you.

Bethany Valenti 28:53

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 28:54

they would often just kind of like, what? I remember a dude was like, I thought you were gay the first time I met you. I thought you were gonna be a weirdo. Like ask me,

Bethany Valenti 29:00

Wow.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 29:01

stupid questions.

Bethany Valenti 29:02

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 29:02

I'm probably gonna ask stupid questions, and I am a weirdo, but also

Bethany Valenti 29:05

Right. The best kind.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 29:07

to meet you with positive regard in a

Bethany Valenti 29:09

Yes.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 29:09

get out there. be like, oh, you're a big guy. Like, intimidate my son a little. no, I'm not here for that.

Bethany Valenti 29:14

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 29:14

I use that as a tool if I

Bethany Valenti 29:15

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 29:16

once again, I worked at St. Joe. you sometimes had to like, my bulk is a stimulus value.

Bethany Valenti 29:20

Right.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 29:21

let me step into this space and say, Hey, stop swinging at this little teacher lady. Like, somebody in here who could take a punch if you gotta throw it.

Bethany Valenti 29:28

And also like, tell me about your feelings.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 29:30

But also Tell me, me about your feelings! can't break rapport,

Bethany Valenti 29:32

I'm not gonna let you hit this little teacher lady. but I really wanna know why you want to hit this teacher lady.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 29:38

What do we,

Bethany Valenti 29:39

what's underneath,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 29:39

hit her today of all days?

Bethany Valenti 29:41

what's the feeling?

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 29:42

do we need to take that swing and

Bethany Valenti 29:43

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 29:44

in particular?

Bethany Valenti 29:45

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 29:45

say going back to my St. Joe's days, that's when I learned that kids have a spectrum of curse words they could access, and they're not that creative

Bethany Valenti 29:50

Oh yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 29:51

so you learn to not be insulted because it's like, I've been doing this,

Bethany Valenti 29:54

Yeah,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 29:55

or seven years too.

Bethany Valenti 29:56

yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 29:57

you haven't said anything I haven't heard before. There was like only Where a kid said something where I was like, what? Like that was novel. Oh, no one's ever insulted me in

Bethany Valenti 30:04

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 30:04

I'm,

Bethany Valenti 30:04

God, your kids have no idea what they're like, so they could never even phase you.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 30:11

Yeah. No, no, no.

Bethany Valenti 30:12

Yeah. Especially as they're gonna get to teenage years.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 30:14

tolerate.

Bethany Valenti 30:14

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 30:15

disrespect. I go, did you just call me names? What was that?

Bethany Valenti 30:18

Actually, no.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 30:19

We don't, we

Bethany Valenti 30:20

Not,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 30:20

do

Bethany Valenti 30:20

not in this house. Remember, we rise?

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 30:22

house. We don't call names. but anyway, yes, yes, yes. So, like I said, it did prepare me for the field in a way because it, developed a callous in a way that's like, oh, this isn't, so in many ways it's like the external language of behavior is just the outer shell of whatever the need is.

Bethany Valenti 30:37

yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 30:38

and because of that, everybody wanted me to see their male kids,

Bethany Valenti 30:42

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 30:43

when I worked out in like, Claremont County, they were like, male therapist, yes, please talk to my son.

Bethany Valenti 30:48

Right?

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 30:48

it's like, sorry, your son's just a teenage jerk.

Bethany Valenti 30:50

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 30:50

doesn't

Bethany Valenti 30:50

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 30:51

they don't

Bethany Valenti 30:51

Like

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 30:52

a deeper connection. Sometimes they're

Bethany Valenti 30:54

him, you know,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 30:55

right,

Bethany Valenti 30:55

him fix him. Do it quickly

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 30:58

right,

Bethany Valenti 30:59

without me involved.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 31:00

please just fix my kid so that I don't have to do it. And so. By virtue of that, it was like I had to kind of lean into, yes, I do work well with guys. Once again, I worked at Miami University for so long,

Bethany Valenti 31:13

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 31:13

I dealt with a lot of like white upper class people problems and still love that population. but like stepping outside of Oxford and Miami University meant that I could work with black men,

Bethany Valenti 31:26

yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 31:27

never had access to before

Bethany Valenti 31:28

I remember, can I tell this story when one of the things that you told me when you started, so. For our listeners you were starting part-time on your own while you were still at Miami and you were, there were a couple things you told me as you started to realize, like, I probably need to make this transition, into just doing this on my own full-time. one thing you told me was I am literally doing a full day of work and I'm looking forward to. The work after work more than like the day of work. And that is

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 32:01

yes.

Bethany Valenti 32:01

of all, just like so huge for you. But then the other story that you told me was the type of work that you were doing was like shifting because even just like getting into a different age group, like someone told you to like F off or something like that. like you gave them like, like a gentle truth or called him on something probably, you know, just straight. And he was like, you can fuck off about it. Or something. Like, like you, you're not gonna get that like Miami in the same way You might, but like not,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 32:30

Right,

Bethany Valenti 32:32

Like it felt different. There's something to that, you know?

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 32:34

Yes. There's something to, it ends up being like a man to man conversation in a way

Bethany Valenti 32:37

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 32:38

And so I remember not even being insulted. I remember laughing

Bethany Valenti 32:41

Yeah. You thought it was so funny. Because the relationship was there.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 32:45

right. But once again, I've been told to fuck off by

Bethany Valenti 32:48

yeah,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 32:48

of people, sir. Right. I did six years of the trenches. So you staying in a jest right now isn't gonna hurt

Bethany Valenti 32:55

Yes.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 32:56

my feelings at all

Bethany Valenti 32:57

'cause it wasn't just like, it was like,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 32:59

Right, right, right. But also, like I know, I know. That meant I nailed you. So I think I did my job today.

Bethany Valenti 33:04

Check it, check it off.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 33:05

I think I did the work. All right. All right. and so that's one of the things that I love the most about it, like when I can like man to man, like, Hey buddy, like, you can't, you can't keep treating your wife this way, or,

Bethany Valenti 33:16

Right?

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 33:16

You really gotta get to the bottom of why these feelings cause you to lash out

Bethany Valenti 33:19

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 33:20

we think the marijuana's a cover for something,

Bethany Valenti 33:21

Right,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 33:22

and because we built the rapport, we built a relationship, suddenly they're like, yeah, I need to do something about

Bethany Valenti 33:27

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 33:28

like, I can now say that I've been in this work for three years, actually five years. So Psych Works has lived for five years, but I

Bethany Valenti 33:35

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 33:36

time and now three years

Bethany Valenti 33:37

Yep.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 33:39

I've got clients that I had at Miami. They went off into the

Bethany Valenti 33:41

Mm. And then came and found you. Yes.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 33:45

I can

Bethany Valenti 33:45

I love that.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 33:46

Hey man, you're in med school now and you're stressed about your exams. I remember when Freshman you was all freaked out about exams. We had a similar pro, you know what I mean?

Bethany Valenti 33:56

I love that.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 33:56

like years in the tank with

Bethany Valenti 33:58

Yep.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 33:59

where I could

Bethany Valenti 34:00

Pull something out.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 34:01

literally happened yesterday. There was a client who he's upset about, he's stressed out about his job and, this girl that he is dating. And I said, Hey, do you remember last year when you didn't think you were gonna make friends at all? after,

Bethany Valenti 34:12

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 34:12

worried about a girlfriend. Remember, two years ago when we were in college and you were worried about not having a job, and now the job is stressing you out? Like, look how far we've come. let's for a second, reflect on all of this growth that's

Bethany Valenti 34:23

Take pause.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 34:24

have these

Bethany Valenti 34:25

Yeah,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 34:26

right?

Bethany Valenti 34:26

yeah,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 34:27

These anxieties that are stressing you today are not the anxieties that stressed you two years ago.

Bethany Valenti 34:31

Of yesteryear.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 34:32

of experience, to have clients that can come back to you, like that was always the thing in the college counseling situation. You'd have 'em maybe locked in for four years, five years, six

Bethany Valenti 34:40

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 34:40

graduate school or something. Or do they just hang out for too long, but then, you know, they go home for the summer or they just disappear to the world afterwards.

Bethany Valenti 34:47

Yep,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 34:48

they can just like pop, like I get clients every so often. Somebody will be like, Hey, I saw you at Miami. Are you available to be seen now? And I'm like, sure.

Bethany Valenti 34:54

Yeah,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 34:54

remember, you were a decent human being.

Bethany Valenti 34:56

yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 34:59

So always. Always. And it's always like a, you get an update on like, Hey, whatever happened with that relationship? Oh no. That went bad. Okay.

Bethany Valenti 35:06

Okay. Well now I get a little, you get updates you didn't get before.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 35:08

right.

Bethany Valenti 35:08

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 35:09

nice to hear because it's like, I always think that like therapy is like this weird because of the rules of ethics and all that.

Bethany Valenti 35:14

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 35:15

I've become deeply invested in your personal life

Bethany Valenti 35:17

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 35:17

to the point where I might find myself like at doing dishes and going, Hey, did she ever call her mom about thing? We discussed,

Bethany Valenti 35:25

Yeah,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 35:25

therapy ends, you make all this great progress. I know you're doing better, but then like years from now, I might be standing in Chicago going, that's right. She moved to Chicago. I wonder how she's doing. I can't just look you up. It's not like any other relationship

Bethany Valenti 35:35

No,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 35:36

where I could be like, Hey,

Bethany Valenti 35:38

hey.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 35:38

Joanne.

Bethany Valenti 35:39

Yeah,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 35:40

a fake name. That's not a real person, but Hey

Bethany Valenti 35:41

right.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 35:42

you been? Like, you good? I just, just thought of you

Bethany Valenti 35:44

Just, yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 35:45

mind for a second.

Bethany Valenti 35:46

Yep.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 35:46

like, you know, 18,000 notes about you in my computer and, just wanted to know

Bethany Valenti 35:51

Just curious, saw something thought of you, just, yeah, yeah,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 35:55

we talked about so many things,

Bethany Valenti 35:57

yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 35:58

but I just gotta let you go. 'cause ethics, I guess.

Bethany Valenti 36:02

But it's so important. At the same time,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 36:04

Right.

Bethany Valenti 36:05

just duality.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 36:06

Barriers keep us safe from litigation

Bethany Valenti 36:09

Yes.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 36:09

sure,

Bethany Valenti 36:10

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 36:10

But it's so weird. Like you are using all the tools of a relationship

Bethany Valenti 36:15

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 36:15

to form

Bethany Valenti 36:16

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 36:16

and to help the person

Bethany Valenti 36:17

Yes.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 36:18

change, but then you yourself have to kinda like become callous to relationships. Uh,

Bethany Valenti 36:25

And the endings of them.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 36:26

often, you know, all therapists joke about this when we're around each other. people are like

Bethany Valenti 36:29

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 36:29

you're not doing therapy with me right now, are you? Or you know, are you therapizing me? And it's like, no, actually I'm off the clock. I'm

Bethany Valenti 36:35

I swear. Are you paying me?

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 36:37

right. You're not paying me. Because

Bethany Valenti 36:39

I am tired.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 36:41

Right,

Bethany Valenti 36:41

I am not working right now.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 36:43

I've explained to people, like by virtual what we do, we like, there's an element of, I see people in layers the way normal people don't. It's like a musician doesn't hear music the same as the average listener

Bethany Valenti 36:53

Yes, absolutely.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 36:55

I'm interacting with a person, I'm seeing things you probably don't want people to see

Bethany Valenti 36:58

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 36:59

register it.

Bethany Valenti 37:00

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 37:00

if I'm not opening that door, that door is like, oh, I heard something I might not have been meant to hear. I don't actually care. I'm not invested.

Bethany Valenti 37:06

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 37:07

the worst thing you could ever do. the, the situation of what we were standing outside of a bar, me, in graduate school, we were standing outside of a bar. It was like me and four other colleagues and like some person comes out who is drunk and dysregulated and asks what we do and it's like, oh, I know this is gonna get weird. And he immediately, like, suddenly he's trying to have a therapy session with all of us. So we're like, guy, we were just saying goodbye to each other.

Bethany Valenti 37:29

Just say it.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 37:29

wanna do

Bethany Valenti 37:30

actually, were wrapping up our night.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 37:32

right, right, right. And you're like opening yourself up, like fully getting naked in front of us right now emotionally. And we're

Bethany Valenti 37:36

bearing your soul.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 37:38

right. And we're like, no, no, we don't want to hear about that, sir.

Bethany Valenti 37:41

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 37:42

to say we were, we just wanted our night to go a little longer.

Bethany Valenti 37:44

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 37:45

Okay. Well, thank you. You truncated this goodbye. We're gonna, we're gonna continue

Bethany Valenti 37:51

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 37:51

way. Best of luck with that situation with your grandmother,

Bethany Valenti 37:55

Yeah. I feel like, our profession is very unique in that way. as therapists

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 37:58

absolutely.

Bethany Valenti 37:59

many other, like doctors will be like, oh, like I saw you, like da da. Like, it's just like medical doctors, I should say. You know, like there's so much more openness to knowing each other outside of the work that you do and all of that. And our, our work, we can't, it's just no.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 38:15

And that's been interesting. I will say now that I'm a professional and work with other professionals,

Bethany Valenti 38:20

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 38:21

they're very, like a doctor's, very used to, like I call my lawyer friend if I have a question

Bethany Valenti 38:25

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 38:25

call my dentist friend if I have a question or my accountant friend,

Bethany Valenti 38:28

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 38:29

we can be on call. But like if you came in the door as a client,

Bethany Valenti 38:32

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 38:33

people will, you know, they toss

Bethany Valenti 38:34

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 38:35

like, hey, this is a client issue, you should deal with that. But you can't just like, use me as a resource, know, infinitely in the same way that you probably could in other professions. Like we've walled

Bethany Valenti 38:44

Hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 38:45

off certain

Bethany Valenti 38:46

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 38:47

I've had clients like, you got a professional client. It's like he's used to asking his lawyer at the end of a session, Hey, you wanna go grab dinner now?

Bethany Valenti 38:52

Right.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 38:53

clients say, I've

Bethany Valenti 38:53

Can't do that.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 38:54

Can't do that. And I might actually like genuinely adore the person.

Bethany Valenti 38:58

Like of all the Yes,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 39:00

if I had met you in any other way, I would

Bethany Valenti 39:02

I know.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 39:02

to dinner

Bethany Valenti 39:03

I would love to go to dinner. I wanna be friends with you.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 39:06

Yes.

Bethany Valenti 39:06

Not allowed. Literally, I can't,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 39:08

So

Bethany Valenti 39:09

I'm not allowed.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 39:09

Cut off therapy. Come back in four

Bethany Valenti 39:11

Two.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 39:11

years to put us to

Bethany Valenti 39:12

Two.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 39:13

and we'll see how we see. If we work out, this still

Bethany Valenti 39:15

If it's, if we still click, you know,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 39:17

right, right.

Bethany Valenti 39:17

we're good to go.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 39:18

in that phase, you'll learn stuff about me. You did not learn when I was put up the shield, and so you may not like

Bethany Valenti 39:22

Yep.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 39:22

me the same way.

Bethany Valenti 39:23

I know.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 39:24

that they never planned for.

Bethany Valenti 39:25

once I've learned.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 39:26

You as a person, I might go

Bethany Valenti 39:27

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 39:29

I mean, you were fun when you were just focusing solely on me for an hour, but now that it's like supposed to be about both of us. Ooh.

Bethany Valenti 39:37

like sharing now mutually.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 39:39

right, right. But wait, are you making time for your stuff? Nobody ever accounts for the shift that would come

Bethany Valenti 39:44

Yep.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 39:45

if you actually actually because friends, with your therapist?

Bethany Valenti 39:48

I was thinking about how you were wanting to talk about men's mental health and I always remember when our boss at Miami did a talk on like men's mental health for like one of our professional development. And the amount that I still like just learned from just hearing you all talk about it was just so great. And I still remember you talking about that because I was like, this is so interesting. 'cause I was like, this isn't necessarily me, but I know that maybe a younger version of myself might have felt this way or I could see other people feeling this way. you were saying how many times you've heard maybe even clients, I forget if this was like, you've seen this out in the world or if you'd heard clients even say like, oh, I just really want like a sensitive guy. And then a guy like cries or has feelings in a certain way. and then it was like, ugh. Like no, they're actually supposed to not do that.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 40:42

Yes.

Bethany Valenti 40:42

like the double standard there, I was like, man, that's probably so true. That sucks.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 40:48

No, like in a lot of the couples work that I have done. Is like, I want him to communicate more and I want him to share openly his feelings, but also do you have the capacity for his feelings when he needs to share them, wants to share them? Are you there to listen? Do you even have a frame of reference to hold his feelings?

Bethany Valenti 41:04

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 41:05

not be used to in your lifetime a guy ever giving his feelings back to you in that fashion,

Bethany Valenti 41:10

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 41:11

And now you have to hold your feelings in check while listening to his feelings and responding without yourself having an emotional reaction

Bethany Valenti 41:18

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 41:19

you don't do that because you've never had any practice with that.

Bethany Valenti 41:22

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 41:22

times where in the relationship work that I do with guys, It's incredibly similar to what I learned with, working with children.

Bethany Valenti 41:29

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 41:30

I want my kid to be different, but like, you understand you've been raising this kid a certain way. When they come back to you different, are you ready to tolerate or be flexible to that difference? And sometimes by virtue of just how you've been through your lifetime, what you say you want ain't what you want.

Bethany Valenti 41:45

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 41:46

And you might be disturbed by what you get because now I gotta feel something about your feelings and I don't know how to do that.

Bethany Valenti 41:52

How am I supposed to support you in that? or like I actually I take issue with that. You know?

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 41:58

right,

Bethany Valenti 41:58

I'm gonna have a reaction.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 41:59

now that we have language for feelings, how do we work through that?

Bethany Valenti 42:01

Hmm. Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 42:02

not, we might not have ever had to do that to where we both have to come out of this resolve. It's always been, I show the feelings, you shut down and then you give in.

Bethany Valenti 42:13

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 42:13

you're not doing that anymore, like now you expect ground just as much as I give. No, sometimes I'm doing the work of, ending relationships accidentally by fixing the person in the way I'm asked

Bethany Valenti 42:25

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 42:25

to. You know, not that I'm ever fixing anyone, like

Bethany Valenti 42:29

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 42:29

year one therapist stuff

Bethany Valenti 42:30

Right. Oh yeah. We're not fixing.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 42:33

Right. But you're, I'm giving them these tools they've never been able to use before. And are you equipped to have a person come back to you with these tools in a healthy way? Because you might have learned toxic ways that you never had to address, Because you didn't have an equal partner.

Bethany Valenti 42:46

Yeah. you just reminded me of this one. This was years ago. you shared a reel, or a TikTok or something. but it was this one where. Someone else was talking like, you were sharing someone else's reel, but it was like someone talking about like, what happens at different stages of therapy and that so many people wanna stop doing the work at stage one, a after stage one. Do you remember this at all? Like it was this people just being like, oh, my feeling kinda like the ownership of their own feelings. And if you stop at that work, then like people can go out into the world and sort of just be like, no, my feelings all the time, my decisions, my boundaries, all that. Instead of like, no. not necessarily unless you just want all your relationships to change. Like, you know, Or I think the example that they gave was like, my parent sucks. Like they hurt me. Like so they should just do that. And then that was like sort of the end of the work. Do you remember this?

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 43:42

I don't remember that exact thing,

Bethany Valenti 43:43

exact thing?

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 43:44

but I do know this because it's,

Bethany Valenti 43:44

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 43:45

the work I do all the time.

Bethany Valenti 43:46

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 43:47

where like in the beginning it's now that you have language and tools for your feelings, but you have to understand that I'm a very systems oriented therapist.

Bethany Valenti 43:54

Yes.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 43:55

So you're not an individual creature in the world. You are interlaced in multiple systems of which is your family system.

Bethany Valenti 44:01

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 44:02

cultural system, the larger school system

Bethany Valenti 44:04

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 44:05

governmental system, like all of that is contributing to the "You-ness" of you.

Bethany Valenti 44:10

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 44:10

if you stop at just my feelings are valid and that's what matters, then you're going to operate somewhat like selfishly in the world

Bethany Valenti 44:17

Yep.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 44:18

you still won't fully be able to interface because some of that is. I mean, particularly we're talking about parents, they're people too.

Bethany Valenti 44:24

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 44:25

at it from like a upwards like slope thing, it's like, well, they have all the power, so they should be fully healed and healthy and only communicate to me in healthy ways. It's like, but no, they're filtering through their stuff too. And after a certain point of growth, you'll understand I can come at them a certain way, but they're gonna come back a certain way. And we have to understand how best to maneuver in that system. Now,

Bethany Valenti 44:46

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 44:47

like health and flexibility in that system, then we can grow in a healthy way.

Bethany Valenti 44:52

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 44:52

if there's inflexibility on either side,

Bethany Valenti 44:55

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 44:55

if I'm all about my feelings and I'm not even open to tolerating yours, I need to go, what does this feeling mean to them? When I express it, what do they need? What do I need? And then how do we find middle ground? And if we can do that, then growth is possible.

Bethany Valenti 45:08

Right, right. Yeah. Or like, will you like continue to be flexible or allow people to try and go through their own growth as well as through this process? One of the things that I have seen the example that's like coming to mind for me is some of the eating disorder work that I've done where you have the client who's struggling and we have awareness that all of this stuff at home is contributing to it.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 45:32

Mm-hmm.

Bethany Valenti 45:33

And that person somehow tries to convey or sees like whether or not they feel safe, being able to say like, Hey, those comments actually aren't really helpful. Or, I'm trying not to look at food that way, or my body that way. And that could like. Just be so confusing to the people that are taking that in and does that make them necessarily an asshole for not getting it? Like if we're all affected, like this is kind of, you know, if we're talking about diet, culture is like a system. if we're all affected by it, that's gonna be very, confusing for some people. So people are gonna be open to the change or it might take a while to be like, actually that is harmful. and then you get into all the, oh well, I can't even do my stuff 'cause you're so sensitive. Like it's just advocating for your own needs is hard. Which is why you don't wanna just stop at therapy. 'cause you gotta be able to come back and say like, I tried

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 46:24

Right,

Bethany Valenti 46:25

and it sucked. Like it did not go well. I tried to do the thing.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 46:29

you don't have all the tools, like you just

Bethany Valenti 46:30

Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 46:31

you as a tool, then learning how to be you in an environment with another person who probably has known you all your life but is unable to change is another. Like, that's another set of tools. And then how do you continue to interface and grow when you've got some of these skills, but the world isn't always open to changing with you. Like at each level of that is a different like learning curve

Bethany Valenti 46:50

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 46:51

if you got somebody to help you with it, I can.

Bethany Valenti 46:53

Yeah,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 46:53

oh, I did all the work. I know what I feel now. No, actually there's like a lot more that's left. 'cause you're gonna go up

Bethany Valenti 46:58

yeah,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 46:59

and be like, why didn't that work? That therapist

Bethany Valenti 47:00

yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 47:01

talking about. It's Like I only taught you like half the game.

Bethany Valenti 47:03

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 47:04

I can't even

Bethany Valenti 47:04

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 47:05

you those down the road skills yet. They build off the previous skills,

Bethany Valenti 47:08

Mm-hmm. or just like, sometimes it's like worth the battle or not. Like, one of the things I'll talk with clients a lot about is like, you kind of get to choose if this situation is worth it or not. you can put your energy where you feel like it's gonna grow the best, yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 47:22

right, I literally just had this conversation with a client recently where we've been seeing each other for years, and she was feeling regret about, you know, maybe I could have had a better relationship with my parents if I had learned some of these. It's like, it took us years to get you to this place. It took your parents years to get to the place where they were able to hear you.

Bethany Valenti 47:40

Hear you you.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 47:41

know what I mean? And so you couldn't have gotten here faster so we can grieve the time we lost, But also like, everybody had to grow up to get to this point right now. And so lets just stay in the present and deal with it right now. Because if we get so caught up in the despair of what we've lost to time, one can't change it, that ship's sailed, it's never coming back. But we have now, we have today. And if we can grow from today, then we're actually doing actual work as opposed to getting stuck in the despair and the grief, which make room for make space for take the time for it. but we can't

Bethany Valenti 48:15

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 48:15

dwell on it. 'cause then it's still costing us today and now we got more stuff to grieve. You know what I mean? So,

Bethany Valenti 48:20

Yeah, absolutely.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 48:22

know, the fact that time is always like an interaction effect that's happening in the work we do.

Bethany Valenti 48:27

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 48:28

and you can go, well that's great. Why didn't you tell me this earlier? Well, some of it I couldn't tell you until you got to this point in the journey and now you get to learn this piece of information now that you're here, there's still more to learn.

Bethany Valenti 48:39

Yeah. Yeah. I think that goes back to some people being like, well, this person's been going to therapy. I don't understand why it's not getting any better.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 48:45

Right,

Bethany Valenti 48:46

Why can't, why they're in therapy. Like why is it,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 48:49

I've been seeing you for months. Why did I still have a fight with my wife? And it's like, because, she's another person in your life and you're never gonna agree on everything.

Bethany Valenti 48:56

yeah. Yeah. And some people might say some conflict is actually healthy.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 49:01

Right. It's an opportunity to grow. Some would say that, I don't know if I've said it. I probably said it. I know I said it to you specifically but whatever.

Bethany Valenti 49:09

The best is like when you've talked about stuff or had things come up and then you have someone come in and be like, Hey, like a friend of mine or like my parent or whatever, like said this thing to me

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 49:20

Yes.

Bethany Valenti 49:21

and it just blew their mind and you're like,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 49:22

Uhhuh, it's almost as if someone primed that pump. It's almost as if someone's been saying

Bethany Valenti 49:27

Yeah. absolutely. Or we've like, actually may have like said that before like in the beginning of our work and you've come a long way and forgotten, you know.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 49:34

But I'm sure the seed was planted. I'm sure a seed was planted and I've been watering it week after week.

Bethany Valenti 49:36

Yeah. Yeah. But most of the time we're just so happy that they're there, you know, just like mm-hmm. You can hear it from whoever. I heard someone once say, one of the therapists I worked at, at one of my training sites was saying that when the student is ready, the master appears someone was giving her a compliment about why you've been doing such great work with this one person, or this person's making such progress. And she's like, you know what? But I always say when the student's ready, the master appears.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 49:55

right,

Bethany Valenti 49:56

it's how that comes together.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 49:58

Ultimately, yes. that's sort of, the thing that we try to teach, the thing that I try to reiterate when they are frustrated with the pace of progress or, why is it I'm not getting better, faster?

Bethany Valenti 50:07

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 50:07

know, why am I just now learning this? And it's like, you learn it when you learn it. Like,

Bethany Valenti 50:10

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 50:11

like so much of it is like ego. You kind of think you should have known. Like why do you think you should know everything Like

Bethany Valenti 50:16

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 50:16

who are you that you're so big a deal?

Bethany Valenti 50:18

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 50:19

one thing that I do love when I've got a good enough rapport with a

Bethany Valenti 50:21

Yes.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 50:22

you think you're so important.

Bethany Valenti 50:24

What makes you so special,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 50:26

right?

Bethany Valenti 50:26

right?

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 50:27

have known everything, that you

Bethany Valenti 50:28

yes,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 50:29

up in a life that was so healthy. And no one ever disparaged you, you never disparaged yourself. Like you're just the person like everybody else. Calm down.

Bethany Valenti 50:36

I'm hearing that on a personal level, so like, let's just move on.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 50:41

There you go.

Bethany Valenti 50:41

that hit, that struck a nerve a little bit. Why don't you tell me about your group?

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 50:48

So, at once a month I run a black men's mental health support group.

Bethany Valenti 50:52

Oh, is it just once a month?

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 50:53

north side. there's A former church now community center called the Heart of Northside.

Bethany Valenti 50:58

Uhhuh.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 50:58

That's been very supportive of me over the last year. We started this group in June of 2024.

Bethany Valenti 51:04

Wow.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 51:04

and it has been going strong.

Bethany Valenti 51:06

Feel like you just started this. I can't believe it's been a year. That's amazing.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 51:10

strong five members that show up at least every week. everybody wants to make it even when they can't.

Bethany Valenti 51:16

Mm

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 51:17

but it's the first Saturday of every month at 1:00 PM at the Heart of Northside Church. And it's a good hour. we have some really great conversations. It becomes an opportunity to like check in with each other. we always do a check-in, in the beginning in the middle is like the discussion portion. Sometimes a guy will come and say, Hey, I wanna talk about, issues with my daughter, or I wanna talk about issues with my dad, or,

Bethany Valenti 51:37

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 51:38

trying to find a job and I'm really frustrated. Like they bring their real stuff to the room.

Bethany Valenti 51:42

I love that.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 51:43

you know, the first few sessions were me, like, let's talk about legacy, let's talk about a theme

Bethany Valenti 51:48

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 51:48

But like, the people who've been coming regularly for the last year, they come and they say, you know what, this week I'm really sick of my son. Let's talk about why and what do you guys think I should do? And, and they give advice and thank you brothers for the advice,

Bethany Valenti 52:00

Hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 52:00

really able to be vulnerable in this space.

Bethany Valenti 52:03

Yeah. The best part of group work. I love that so much.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 52:07

Right, I love that I get to do that. And, actually it's a really heavy lift administratively to like coordinate, try to get them to come and everything. I keep saying we need another week. we can't just do it once a month, from. Coordination and billing side and all that. It's like, how do we make that work? I want to do more of them.

Bethany Valenti 52:23

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 52:24

that's my time I gotta give

Bethany Valenti 52:26

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 52:26

I do, it's one of my favorite parts of the month is getting to like, go back into that church basement, former church basement. It's one of the reasons I love it. It's a 1970s, you know, church basement with the

Bethany Valenti 52:36

Oh

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 52:36

walls and metal chairs that have been there for like half a century.

Bethany Valenti 52:40

Yes. The absolute what they always put in shows and movies of like what a group

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 52:46

it is absolutely it is a set design. Yeah. No, and I love that the guy

Bethany Valenti 52:49

Yes.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 52:50

born in the seventies and

Bethany Valenti 52:52

Yep.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 52:52

of television is like, yep, this is

Bethany Valenti 52:53

Yep.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 52:54

on the

Bethany Valenti 52:55

fitting.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 52:55

Yep.

Bethany Valenti 52:56

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 52:56

And like I said, the guys seem to love it. You know, there's a guy who was driving down from Dayton to go regularly.

Bethany Valenti 53:01

cool.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 53:02

you know, we had some reach, in the group and it's been a very fun and fulfilling experience to get the opportunity to help and support those guys.

Bethany Valenti 53:11

What is the age range for the group? Does it matter?

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 53:13

you know, As old as you feel like walking in the room.

Bethany Valenti 53:15

cool.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 53:16

We had a 70-year-old who was coming for a while. You know, some older guys, a couple of retired guys. usually they're around thirties to forties, a couple of 50 year olds, But like, it's a spectrum. we've never, you know, we don't, if an 18-year-old showed up, we've never turned them away. And they see the 18 year olds when they show up, they're like, this is cool. I like this. But then, I forget by next month or something. I don't know what happens,

Bethany Valenti 53:39

Right.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 53:39

but like, we're open to it. It's a rolling, always open. Whenever you wanna

Bethany Valenti 53:43

Okay.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 53:43

you can always reconnect with the source

Bethany Valenti 53:45

That's awesome. Yeah. And so if someone was listening. Like as, a potential male client. Like what do you think would be telling of what they might wanna look for in a therapist or maybe of what they might need going into therapy? 'cause I know many of the times, like what gets you in the door isn't always what you're there for in a way.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 54:11

I'd say you kind of want somebody who you feel like you can talk openly with,

Bethany Valenti 54:14

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 54:14

and understands and get you, like, you feel comfortable. sometimes, you'll be in the room with someone and that they think that you're the better therapist for them, but like they're not quite ready to do the work with you. Now there there might be someone they're more ready for. and in that case, you know, find that person. Don't feel like you gotta go with the first therapist you find, because there's so few of us, because so few of us have openings you might find yourself concerned, that you miss an opportunity if you don't take this first therapist, but like you really want someone you're comfortable with, you feel like you can open up with. And when you start sort of being willing to share "you," they get it. So you want that, that's a feeling that's hard to describe, but when it's working, you know, like, and the therapist knows we feel it when they're like, oh no, we got a good, we we're gonna float. we're doing good.

Bethany Valenti 55:01

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 55:01

and we both feel like we're stopping and starting and know, we know, have much to say. And I don't know what else to say. And now we're just talking about tv shows or something. It's like, oh, there might not be a good connection.

Bethany Valenti 55:10

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 55:11

like I often tell my black clients you wanna be cool, but not so cool that you feel like I'm just talking to one of my boys. there is a line that is, I'm comfortable, but you also check me. You don't just let me get away with it.

Bethany Valenti 55:24

Yeah. Yeah, like the companionable. Piece there, like we're companionable enough, but there's still, like you were talking about the relations stuff earlier, we need a good relationship, but we're still not like the, if it's a full friendship thing, then we would just talk about TV shows the whole time,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 55:40

you wanna feel like telling me to fuck off, like, I just tripped the

Bethany Valenti 55:42

yes.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 55:43

Ugh, I don't feel comfortable with this space anymore. And I'm

Bethany Valenti 55:45

Yeah,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 55:46

you don't wanna go deeper? 'cause I'm willing to go deeper. I'll let you, I'll let you walk away, but I'm gonna put a pit in it and I'm gonna bring it up later. not in a critical way, and so you wanna be able to feel comfortable,

Bethany Valenti 55:56

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 55:57

Comfortable. But challenged I think was the key.

Bethany Valenti 55:59

Yeah. What if they just look like a real nerd? Like, you? just kidding. Like you said, like some people just look at you like you're real nerdy. You know what I mean?

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 56:07

No, no, that happens.

Bethany Valenti 56:08

yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 56:09

see 'em, but there's a Ironman head behind me,

Bethany Valenti 56:11

I, was hoping we could get to that. I was pretty sure there's the iron

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 56:15

that is

Bethany Valenti 56:15

of

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 56:16

Yeah.

Bethany Valenti 56:16

Yeah,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 56:17

a lot of clients who walk in like, Hey man, you got some good, okay, I see some Marvel stuff in here. There's a Black Panther over there

Bethany Valenti 56:21

yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 56:22

oh, well we just were talking about the Legos, but I got like a

Bethany Valenti 56:24

yep.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 56:25

tchaa with the desk here. Yeah. Star Lord Tchaa. So specific weirdness.

Bethany Valenti 56:30

That's one of those kind of crossover things.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 56:33

right, right, right. It's from the What if show.

Bethany Valenti 56:35

I was gonna say the one if show, but I haven't watched it, so I wasn't confident enough to say if it was that.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 56:39

my other office, there's a poster of him

Bethany Valenti 56:41

Oh, cool.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 56:41

so they walk in and they see kinda this nerdy stuff. I liked that the office was not like, I was never gonna be one of those therapists who had like a super sterile, you don't know anything about me when you step into my space.

Bethany Valenti 56:51

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 56:52

all those little touches, once again, they're nerds. Like they'll, Hey man, you, so you watch Marvel movies, huh? Okay. You're cool. You're cool. It's like,

Bethany Valenti 56:59

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 57:00

I am a human being still.

Bethany Valenti 57:01

Yes.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 57:02

You're only going to see a shade of who and what I am.

Bethany Valenti 57:04

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 57:04

It does put some of them at ease. I'm not this stodgy like, button up. Like, no, I'm sorry. We can only discuss the feelings portion of your life. Like please only use feelings words,

Bethany Valenti 57:14

Yes,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 57:15

Like, I'm cool. and I might drop a movie reference, I might be like, Hey,

Bethany Valenti 57:18

yes,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 57:18

know, Sam Wilson was afraid to pick up the mantle of Steve Rogers, and he had to find within himself the strength

Bethany Valenti 57:25

and not just

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 57:25

hand it over to Bucky, because it's not the super soldier serum that makes you a super soldier. It's inside you all along.

Bethany Valenti 57:31

Yes. I love being able to pull out the quotes and stuff like that with clients 'cause sometimes it'll pop in your head and you're like, do I have to explain this? Or can I just say it? there was one time years ago this client, but I forget what we were talking about. It might've been His depressive view of himself, just really on himself. we were talking about his growth or whatever, and I forget what he said and I was just like, how about no, Scott, like, he was like, I love that, you know, that movie. I was like, how do I not know that movie?

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 58:01

right.

Bethany Valenti 58:02

it's actually more shocking that you know it because you're so much younger than I.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 58:06

right. would be, once again, the older I get, the more my references get dated every year.

Bethany Valenti 58:11

Oh my God.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 58:12

but I always appreciate getting to land a good reference.

Bethany Valenti 58:14

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 58:15

Cap Falcon, captain America was fighting a rage monster.

Bethany Valenti 58:19

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 58:19

fight a rage monster sometimes when you get angry

Bethany Valenti 58:21

Ooh, ooh.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 58:22

like, and he had to calm him down. Ultimately, it wasn't punching him that made him calm down. Like if he

Bethany Valenti 58:28

I love it.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 58:28

is gonna get more rage.

Bethany Valenti 58:29

Yep.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 58:30

giving into the anger, the anger will destroy us

Bethany Valenti 58:32

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 58:33

you gotta sometimes be a diplomat in that situation. of my favorite interventions, like I had with this kid who was getting bullied at school. And there was this show on called Steven Universe, and he had watched it. And I remember like, I got chills when I started talking about it, and it landed with him so well that I was like, oh my God. But it's also because that show is so, like at this point, it's been out of the public consciousness for so long.

Bethany Valenti 58:56

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 58:56

But I remember I was telling this kid, like, Steven Universe has a bubble of protection around him that is the result of his mother's love. Like his mother died in childbirth, giving him his, star, his gem.

Bethany Valenti 59:09

Oh.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 59:10

so whenever he is under threat, the bubble comes up automatically. Like he doesn't even have to tell himself to do it. He could learn to control it. He could use it for defensive maneuvers, but ultimately his power is a bubble that comes around him. that is the gift his mother gave him, the love that she gave him so that he'd survive in the world without her.

Bethany Valenti 59:28

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 59:30

this kid was being bullied. And so we were like, so think about like, you know, your mother loves you. You know, she thinks you are a precious creature. But these kids don't know you and they are just threatening just to threat. But like within you is this ability to put up a shield, a bubble of love around yourself

Bethany Valenti 59:45

Oh my God.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 59:45

can stay protected in the world.

Bethany Valenti 59:47

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 59:48

And just remember that whenever they say or do anything that hurts, like your bubble comes up automatically. It's always there. just understand that they can say it, but it doesn't have to penetrate,

Bethany Valenti 59:58

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 59:59

'cause you

Bethany Valenti 59:59

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:00:00

you learn, you could use it defensively. Like you can just bubble and then now you got a shield on your arm

Bethany Valenti 1:00:04

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:00:05

the bubble's always with you. Your mother's love is the thing that keeps you protected from life. he was like, no, that's great. Then I could do that. And then he would like bring it back to me. So yeah, I had to pull up my bubble this week 'cause this kid was being a jerk at the playground. And you're like, man, like that's what I'm talking about.

Bethany Valenti 1:00:19

There you go.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:00:20

And so that's one of the things that, once again in my work, particularly with guys, like being

Bethany Valenti 1:00:24

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:00:24

some of these references that hit home with them.

Bethany Valenti 1:00:27

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:00:27

it's funny in my intakes, I will ask a guy if he says, yeah, I play video games. What games are you playing?

Bethany Valenti 1:00:31

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:00:32

what? Oh, so you like first person shooters? Yeah. I've played a few of those. And right now I'm really into fallout.

Bethany Valenti 1:00:36

Right?

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:00:37

I'm a Zelda guy myself, but you know, I, I've heard of

Bethany Valenti 1:00:39

Yes.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:00:40

and then I could like drop these references and help him feel

Bethany Valenti 1:00:43

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:00:44

So imagine in this situation, like your wife's in the team with you. She is not the opponent. She's, she's not tryna snipe you from over there.

Bethany Valenti 1:00:52

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:00:53

She's right alongside you, but she's got her own threat over here

Bethany Valenti 1:00:55

Yes.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:00:57

so she's using sharp language but that's not because she's against you,

Bethany Valenti 1:01:01

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:01:02

she's fighting her threat. You're fighting your threat and it's just, you just forget to talk to each other. Nice. When you're under heavy fire. So let's, like remember we're on the same team, right?

Bethany Valenti 1:01:14

That's like a mic drop. That's so good. Like I just, I love that one. One of the big things that, one of the metaphors, 'cause I'm a sucker for a good metaphor is if you can tell is like, what are the, I talked with someone who was like in grad school and like didn't get diagnosed until in grad school or almost in grad school with ADHD and like all these different stuff and like, you know, like that sort of idea of like, why am I struggling so much? I was a good student in the past, like all of this stuff. And like, I use kind of those examples of like the, the gaming where. You have these abilities when you start out and you don't like have anything, but you get all these and ev every time you like level up, you need to get like the new ability, like acquired or like the shield acquired. You need to like switch things out and you just need to get switch. Yes. So like having to like figure out like which one you need, what skill do you need here?

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:02:08

Right.

Bethany Valenti 1:02:08

And every person kind of starts with those little different skill sets or like whatever. And I feel like it hit home more for me than it did for her, but like, I got it.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:02:18

yeah,

Bethany Valenti 1:02:18

She was like, I actually do a game a lot and like, yeah, okay.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:02:22

right.

Bethany Valenti 1:02:22

I saw it.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:02:23

the legend of Zelda. You don't use your

Bethany Valenti 1:02:25

Yes.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:02:25

hook thing in every castle. You use it in the one castle where you solve it, and you can maybe use your hook shot in a

Bethany Valenti 1:02:30

Yep,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:02:30

couple other castles,

Bethany Valenti 1:02:31

yep,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:02:31

the hook shot just sits in your inventory until you're ready to use

Bethany Valenti 1:02:34

yep. But like, you gotta switch it out. Yep. Go.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:02:36

you gotta switch it out when it's time. Now that I've hit this level of the game, I could use this for a bunch of different things, but until that point, why isn't I couldn't use it.

Bethany Valenti 1:02:43

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:02:44

time.

Bethany Valenti 1:02:44

Because it wasn't time.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:02:46

time is an interaction effect in growth. You can't do it without time passing.

Bethany Valenti 1:02:50

Yeah. It's fascinating how that works. Well, are you ready for our, wrap up

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:02:55

Sure.

Bethany Valenti 1:02:56

fire questions? Okay.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:02:57

Hey, it's your show

Bethany Valenti 1:02:59

So where are you licensed?

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:03:01

So I'm licensed in Ohio, is my main license. So I have a clinical psychology license in the state of Ohio,

Bethany Valenti 1:03:07

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:03:07

have a PSYPACT license that allows me to practice in, 48 states now?

Bethany Valenti 1:03:11

last I checked it was like 42, it'll be 48 before we know it, I'm sure. you know.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:03:15

I think Missouri just came online,

Bethany Valenti 1:03:16

Oh, nice.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:03:17

Yeah. So I can practice telehealth in a wide spectrum of states across the US, which has been helpful

Bethany Valenti 1:03:24

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:03:24

Once again, when you work with college students, they go all

Bethany Valenti 1:03:26

Yep. traveling.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:03:27

being able to follow them it has been very helpful.

Bethany Valenti 1:03:30

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:03:30

I've found like the hard part about a PSYPACT license is like, I don't market in any of those other

Bethany Valenti 1:03:35

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:03:35

so people don't know to find me.

Bethany Valenti 1:03:37

It's convenient if other people, yeah. Do you have openings right now?

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:03:41

I have a few slender openings.

Bethany Valenti 1:03:47

Slivers.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:03:48

free on a Wednesday at two,

Bethany Valenti 1:03:50

right.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:03:51

Wednesday at two.

Bethany Valenti 1:03:51

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:03:52

at three every other week

Bethany Valenti 1:03:53

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:03:54

three or two,

Bethany Valenti 1:03:55

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:03:56

therapy tomorrow.

Bethany Valenti 1:03:57

How about your, You have like three, right? Staff members. The

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:04:01

yes.

Bethany Valenti 1:04:02

I know. I was like, trying to think of the right term. 'cause they're not, like, they're not trainees.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:04:06

really, no, they're all, yeah, I've

Bethany Valenti 1:04:08

they're all like postdocs.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:04:10

an LPC,

Bethany Valenti 1:04:11

That's right.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:04:12

the postdocs are both female, and then the LPC is a male,

Bethany Valenti 1:04:16

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:04:17

they're doing, they got openings. he's, working on getting his LPCC,

Bethany Valenti 1:04:21

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:04:22

I think he's not as heavy a client load right now. And I'm pushing my postdocs, both my postdocs are getting, trying to take their licensure exam soon. but there one is just still recruiting clients,

Bethany Valenti 1:04:35

Okay,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:04:36

yeah.

Bethany Valenti 1:04:37

And what is your theoretical orientation?

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:04:41

So I'm a heavy CBT, second generation DBT, As I said, I'm very systems oriented. I always say I look at the work through a systems lens.

Bethany Valenti 1:04:50

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:04:50

I have done a lot of motivational interviewing work because of my history. Like at Miami, I was the drug person So,

Bethany Valenti 1:04:56

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:04:56

motivational interviewing is a key sort of cornerstone of doing substance abuse work. How do I get you to motivated to stop doing the thing you enjoy?

Bethany Valenti 1:05:03

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:05:04

so I always say I'm a C-B-T-D-B-T, motivational interviewing through a systems lens is, I think, the way I say it with a little bit of interpersonal thrown in, like

Bethany Valenti 1:05:12

Yeah,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:05:13

But those are my cornerstones

Bethany Valenti 1:05:15

those are the pillars.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:05:15

Yep.

Bethany Valenti 1:05:16

Do you take insurance?

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:05:18

I do take most of the insurances, like every, you could never say you take all the

Bethany Valenti 1:05:23

No, you cannot.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:05:25

random insurance that shows up. You're like, what is

Bethany Valenti 1:05:27

What is this

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:05:29

Like what

Bethany Valenti 1:05:31

carnitas?

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:05:32

custom custom design benefits?

Bethany Valenti 1:05:34

Yes.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:05:35

I'll call the number and see how quickly we can get you in. but I do, I have gone through the painstaking work of adding myself

Bethany Valenti 1:05:41

Yes.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:05:42

to

Bethany Valenti 1:05:42

You did a lot of work on that.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:05:44

most of the major health insurances in the city of Cincinnati.

Bethany Valenti 1:05:46

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:05:47

and so every now and again, I'll hit a speed bump. That is what I don't know.

Bethany Valenti 1:05:51

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:05:52

sure. Let me see. let me look into

Bethany Valenti 1:05:53

And your, your team takes it too, right? Like, is that how that works? Some of them do.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:05:57

that they can be supervisory build in. They cannot take all of the insurances because everybody doesn't play nice.

Bethany Valenti 1:06:02

This is true. And current fee

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:06:06

Out of pocket. I am $200, but I have a sliding scale,

Bethany Valenti 1:06:09

Your team is like similar, right? Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:06:12

they are, they are I think 150 a person with a sliding scale. So, and we're willing to work with you, on a reasonable, amount.

Bethany Valenti 1:06:21

Yes. And you are online and in person?

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:06:25

a hybrid practice.

Bethany Valenti 1:06:26

Practice.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:06:26

I work out of, my Cincinnati office Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, where you can be seen in person. I'm at 4 0 1 5 Executive Park Drive. So right off at 2 75.

Bethany Valenti 1:06:35

I've been there. It's lovely.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:06:36

Yes. She sat in the chair over there,

Bethany Valenti 1:06:38

right there. Ate my Wendy's.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:06:40

And she forgot there were blankets.

Bethany Valenti 1:06:41

Yep, I did.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:06:42

Sorry. The blankets are always there. It's a leather chair, so you gotta protect it. Plus the

Bethany Valenti 1:06:47

yes.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:06:47

it warmer.

Bethany Valenti 1:06:48

Yep.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:06:49

Yes. So I'm in Cincinnati Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. Then I'm in, Oxford, serving that community

Bethany Valenti 1:06:54

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:06:54

I also see virtual people throughout the week.

Bethany Valenti 1:06:56

So what do you like to nerd out about?

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:07:00

So what am I nerding out about right now?

Bethany Valenti 1:07:03

was my question.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:07:04

that's I thing, like what do I, nerd? Video games, Legos. We've already covered some of that.

Bethany Valenti 1:07:08

Yep. Some of that

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:07:09

Big movie guy. A big Superman guy.

Bethany Valenti 1:07:12

you read too, right?

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:07:13

I read a lot of detective novels.

Bethany Valenti 1:07:15

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:07:16

just finished like two of them, like within the last couple of days. I'm reading some science fiction stuff. Three body problem. I read that, that

Bethany Valenti 1:07:25

Okay. I've heard That's great. I've heard it so good.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:07:28

It's weird. It's weird. It's like it, it depends on how sci-fi you are. 'cause it's hard sci-fi

Bethany Valenti 1:07:32

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:07:33

sometimes.

Bethany Valenti 1:07:33

Hard sci-fi. Okay.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:07:34

literally like a physicist telling you this is how physics works. So you're like, can we get back to the aliens please?

Bethany Valenti 1:07:40

Yeah. That's like how, I've heard how Moby Dick has literal chapters on waleing, and you're like, I just don't, Is that necessary?

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:07:46

Let's get back to the pursuit. Let's get

Bethany Valenti 1:07:47

Yeah,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:07:47

back to Ahab being a crazy person. Let's do that. That's the fun stuff

Bethany Valenti 1:07:49

exactly.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:07:50

So yeah, I was really into foundation for a little bit. 'cause that was a fun show to watch. It just wrapped up its third season. I feel like the third season, let me down a little bit, but

Bethany Valenti 1:07:57

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:07:57

see what they do with

Bethany Valenti 1:07:59

We'll see how it comes around.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:08:00

but yeah. I watch all the Marvel stuff because I'm a, I've been a comic book guy forever, but I haven't collected actual physical comics in a

Bethany Valenti 1:08:06

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:08:08

So, yes, those are my things. Records. I'm really into bossanova, samba, jazz. And because nobody else cares about it, the records are often very easy to buy for like a dollar. So I scour every record store for cheap Samba records.

Bethany Valenti 1:08:21

Next to that chair is a little collection of records, if I recall.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:08:25

Yes.

Bethany Valenti 1:08:26

Yeah,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:08:26

office has a record

Bethany Valenti 1:08:27

yeah,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:08:27

it.

Bethany Valenti 1:08:27

yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:08:28

also over here.

Bethany Valenti 1:08:28

Yep.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:08:29

Way too many records

Bethany Valenti 1:08:30

With all the plants.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:08:32

with all the plants

Bethany Valenti 1:08:32

With all the plants, yeah. Amongst the plants. Just because you know, we're also talking about relevant examples, like does your house do any K-pop demon hunters right now? Like, was that a thing? Not there yet. Okay.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:08:45

no, Victoria's got her own interest for

Bethany Valenti 1:08:48

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:08:48

I haven't heard of that. she likes Squishmallows Those, those are like literal. She has a bucket of squishmallow. Some of that's also my fault.

Bethany Valenti 1:08:56

Oh wow.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:08:57

Like I would

Bethany Valenti 1:08:58

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:08:58

be like, oh, Squishmallow

Bethany Valenti 1:08:59

They're so easy to grab. So cute and so squishy and comfortable.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:09:03

This is a problem.

Bethany Valenti 1:09:04

Yeah. They take up space. They do. I, yeah, recently started actually using them as full on pillows on our couch. So I'm like, okay, I feel less weird about this.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:09:14

you go. That's an approach.

Bethany Valenti 1:09:15

so it's a good deal.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:09:17

What was the original question?

Bethany Valenti 1:09:18

Oh, I was just asking that my curiosity about if you guys had gotten to K-pop demon hunters. We do Yeah,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:09:23

go to all the marvel movies whenever there's one of the, a big one of

Bethany Valenti 1:09:25

yeah,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:09:26

Although I don't think I, did I take the boys of Fantastic four? I think so.

Bethany Valenti 1:09:30

How was that?

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:09:32

huh.

Bethany Valenti 1:09:32

it good?

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:09:32

I liked it.

Bethany Valenti 1:09:33

Okay.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:09:34

a, I'm a huge

Bethany Valenti 1:09:34

Yeah,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:09:35

characters done in their fashion was like, okay, that's solid. Is it like, Captain America: Winter Soldier, where I'm gonna watch it 70 times. I liked it while I was in the theater

Bethany Valenti 1:09:46

One of the things like, did it give me an experience? Did I feel something? Did I go on a journey? Like that's usually the,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:09:51

Did I connect with it? Absolutely. Was it a good

Bethany Valenti 1:09:52

you go,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:09:53

hour and a half or whatever? Yes, that was, it was fun and interesting. we'll see, replay value.

Bethany Valenti 1:10:00

And what's something that you find comforting.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:10:05

Comforting.

Bethany Valenti 1:10:06

Sweaters. I know

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:10:09

Absolutely. You know, warm mug of tea is comforting. Yeah, Samba jazz, that's my,

Bethany Valenti 1:10:14

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:10:14

part of the reason I got into samba jazz was because one COVID happened and we were all trapped in the house, and I needed background noise that wasn't like disruptive.

Bethany Valenti 1:10:24

Overly. Yep. Yep.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:10:27

To try to do sit down work, like,

Bethany Valenti 1:10:28

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:10:28

cooped up

Bethany Valenti 1:10:29

The acoustics.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:10:30

like, to, not feel so

Bethany Valenti 1:10:33

Working in silence is like painful for me. Like, yeah. Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:10:38

I can do it if I lose track, but if I know I'm going

Bethany Valenti 1:10:40

Yes.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:10:40

it, I need to sit down and work,

Bethany Valenti 1:10:42

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:10:42

a record, let it start playing.

Bethany Valenti 1:10:44

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:10:44

And the good thing about it was, you know, records are about 20 minutes. So in 20 minutes you'll get a reminder to get up, change the record.

Bethany Valenti 1:10:50

Move around.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:10:51

if you want to fall into a flow state, just let it know.

Bethany Valenti 1:10:53

Let it sit. Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:10:54

right,

Bethany Valenti 1:10:54

you've already referenced it, but the next question is coffee or tea. So how about we ask, do you do coffee at all?

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:10:59

I hate the taste of coffee.

Bethany Valenti 1:11:00

Yeah, same.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:11:01

I hate the taste of coffee, I'm one of those weirdos.

Bethany Valenti 1:11:01

I don't do coffee.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:11:02

I don't understand why people drink it.

Bethany Valenti 1:11:03

Are you still doing the Earl Gray? Is that still your go-to?

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:11:06

So I switched over to Peppermint Peak, which I'm afraid they're gonna stop making. But

Bethany Valenti 1:11:11

What is that?

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:11:13

I'm just gonna say I don't have a box in this

Bethany Valenti 1:11:14

Is it the same? Is it the same? Lipton? Okay.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:11:18

But it's like a peppermint with bergamot and something else in it

Bethany Valenti 1:11:21

Oh, wow. Yeah,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:11:22

it's nice. I love it.

Bethany Valenti 1:11:24

yeah,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:11:24

And I'm always afraid that it was like a Christmas flavor

Bethany Valenti 1:11:27

yeah. Sounds like it.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:11:28

but I'm afraid one day it's just gonna disappear and I'm

Bethany Valenti 1:11:31

gonna be like

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:11:32

oh no. Why?

Bethany Valenti 1:11:34

Go back to Earl Gray

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:11:35

often, hell, it happens with me. Like, I'll like something like a Earl Gray and then switch over to some niche like thing that nobody likes but me. And then the company is like

Bethany Valenti 1:11:44

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:11:44

there's like one dude in Ohio buying this. We should not keep mass producing it.

Bethany Valenti 1:11:49

we're just supplying him at this point.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:11:51

That's what happened with me. And Lavender mint soap old Spice was making lavender mint gentleman's blend,

Bethany Valenti 1:11:56

Oh

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:11:56

And I knew it was coming because I was like, wait, it's not on the shelves anymore.

Bethany Valenti 1:11:59

yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:11:59

stop making my soap? I love this soap. And they stopped making the soap.

Bethany Valenti 1:12:02

Oh my God. The discontinuing of products. Like I get it and I also get so frustrated with it. It was like, why? Like that was actually a good thing, especially when you are, you know, me and you just discovered that this product exists, and then it turns out that they stopped making it. Like when you get a Buzzfeed article that's like, Hey, look at this type of soap that's really good for your skin. And you start looking at it, looking for it in the stores and it's not there.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:12:29

It's

Bethany Valenti 1:12:29

And it's gone.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:12:31

right, right, right. And if you're me, it's like I bought things of this soap because that's my soap now.

Bethany Valenti 1:12:35

Yes. You're just gonna stock up.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:12:37

this soap.

Bethany Valenti 1:12:37

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:12:38

of soap. No other scents. No, get away from me. Cocoa butter Shea, I don't want you like dial mountain stream

Bethany Valenti 1:12:44

Dial!

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:12:45

Get outta here.

Bethany Valenti 1:12:46

Not the meadow, spring,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:12:47

I just want lavender mint for the rest of my natural life. And then the company's like, but just you want it though? Like nobody else cares.

Bethany Valenti 1:12:52

It's just you. But again, don't my feelings matter, like I matter.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:12:57

don't you want my dollars? I was giving you all of my dollars.

Bethany Valenti 1:13:00

You can make small batches

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:13:02

Just make a a, I will take a, you know what, I'm that guy. I will take a small batch. Of the 'cause. Nobody else has the foam. You guys got, you got a good moisturizing foam that other companies haven't quite figured out

Bethany Valenti 1:13:12

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:13:12

in regards to lather with hard water. Because

Bethany Valenti 1:13:15

Yep.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:13:16

P&G's, out of Cincinnati. So you know how to get the foam just right.

Bethany Valenti 1:13:19

There you go.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:13:20

I go to other

Bethany Valenti 1:13:20

did you, are you still doing Old Spice though?

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:13:23

got one last bottle.

Bethany Valenti 1:13:25

oh, you are really about to come to an end.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:13:27

It's coming to an end very soon

Bethany Valenti 1:13:28

We need to get you some sort of sample, a sampling of all of like the old spice like scents and see.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:13:35

I could try. I don't know. They do have another lavender, but it's not lavender mint

Bethany Valenti 1:13:38

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:13:38

I like the

Bethany Valenti 1:13:39

It's not lavender, mint.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:13:40

little bit of mint on it.

Bethany Valenti 1:13:40

Yeah,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:13:42

but it probably didn't like to a neurotypical person. It's like it's just soap. But like to

Bethany Valenti 1:13:46

yeah,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:13:46

this was my soap and I

Bethany Valenti 1:13:48

yeah,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:13:48

it.

Bethany Valenti 1:13:49

yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:13:49

Then they took that from me for no reason. Just 'cause. 'cause nobody cared.

Bethany Valenti 1:13:54

because the bottom dollar baby.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:13:56

Right, Capitalism strikes again.

Bethany Valenti 1:13:59

What is your favorite skill to give clients

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:14:03

insight. Really like how do I help you figure out the you of you?

Bethany Valenti 1:14:06

learning yourself? Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:14:08

If you can do that like without pathologizing yourself, then

Bethany Valenti 1:14:12

Yes.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:14:12

me over here,

Bethany Valenti 1:14:13

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:14:14

to think of yourself differently.

Bethany Valenti 1:14:15

Insight's. The real superpower. I feel like it really is. If you have insight, you could do so much

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:14:21

sometimes when they ask, I try to explain like, I'm a brain outside of your brain that's saying, maybe don't look at it that way. Maybe don't look at it that way.

Bethany Valenti 1:14:26

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:14:28

Until you start to integrate that into your, like I heard you saying, I probably shouldn't look at it that way. Well, they, well actually it wasn't me 'cause I wasn't there. That was your brain finally waking up to the idea that you could have to see it that way. And now you might not be a crazy person. You might just be a person who's experienced in life the way life happens and you feel things and it's okay. Like it's fine.

Bethany Valenti 1:14:48

It's fine. Yeah. Where can our people find you, who might be listening? Wanna you are pretty everywhere if you haven't seen him on TV already. Or on the TikTok or on the interwebs.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:14:59

I did a really good job marketing myself in the beginning. I've panned off of that some because people keep

Bethany Valenti 1:15:03

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:15:04

coming in the door.

Bethany Valenti 1:15:04

It's rolling.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:15:05

PsychWorksllc.com on the interwebs. I am Psych Works Clinic on Instagram and TikTok,

Bethany Valenti 1:15:12

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:15:13

I don't think I have an X account anymore, but I show up on threads every now and again

Bethany Valenti 1:15:16

Yeah. You're on threats a lot.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:15:18

PsychWorks LLC,

Bethany Valenti 1:15:19

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:15:19

And Facebook and all of those spaces. So if you're really interested what I'm doing out here in the world

Bethany Valenti 1:15:26

And if they wanna listen to any backlogs of podcasts or anything.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:15:30

Oh yes. So I have a podcast Psychologize You,

Bethany Valenti 1:15:33

Mm-hmm.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:15:33

I have, I haven't got like three episodes in the can that I need to like put out there in the world before they're completely irrelevant. So I keep saying I'm gonna do that this year. I said that in January, I'm gonna do more episodes of podcasts year

Bethany Valenti 1:15:43

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:15:44

and life kept happening and 2025 has been a weird year for

Bethany Valenti 1:15:46

Yeah,

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:15:47

what I keep saying.

Bethany Valenti 1:15:48

yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:15:48

we're already nine months into it. It feels like it's been either 10 years or one day. I can't tell.

Bethany Valenti 1:15:53

I'm leaning toward the years. Yeah. It sort of feels like someone was saying something, one of my clients was, we were talking about like, oh wow, that went really fast. That's already like, almost two months ago. And I was like, probably That feels like nothing except that it also feels like two years have gone by, like each month has been like a year. Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:16:11

right, right. So we're in a strange, strange place. Strange time. So yes, I got Psychologize You is my podcast. You can find out there. I did the Hallspace podcast with my wife, and friends where I would talk about nerd stuff that is now completely dated. and

Bethany Valenti 1:16:25

It's fun though.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:16:25

movie review or something like that. That was always fun.

Bethany Valenti 1:16:28

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:16:28

so yeah, I, I'm all over, I've shown up on channel 12 news. I've shown up on Channel nine news. I haven't done that in 2025. but yeah, it just, once again, I got a business to run. I took on a team.

Bethany Valenti 1:16:38

You have a team now. and they're a great team. I met one of them.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:16:42

yes,

Bethany Valenti 1:16:42

Thank you so much for your time today.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:16:45

Oh, no, it's been fun. I told you the second you said, I wanna do a podcast, I was like, absolutely. you should do it

Bethany Valenti 1:16:49

No question.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:16:50

Any help you need, I'm here. Anytime you need a filler episode, call me up and I will talk about

Bethany Valenti 1:16:55

Yeah. Yeah. We should probably do a DBT episode. 'cause I think we should do. Yeah. we'll have you back.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:17:02

Anytime you're like, I think I should do an episode of this, but I got like five seconds worth of material I'll jump on.

Bethany Valenti 1:17:06

We will stretch it out. We got it. I so appreciate you, Ritch. That's one of, I'll say again, one of my favorite people. Thank you all for listening to us. Just have a good time.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:17:16

Yes, hope this has been fun. For people who aren't used to two people just gabbing

Bethany Valenti 1:17:20

I feel like the tag I'm gonna put on the episode is when two neurodivergent like therapists get together, what happens. can you keep up

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:17:28

Some people are like, yeah, they go on a lot of tangents. So you never answered that first question,

Bethany Valenti 1:17:32

But it came back.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:17:33

there.

Bethany Valenti 1:17:33

It's about the journey I've heard.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:17:35

the journey. Right?

Bethany Valenti 1:17:36

Yeah.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:17:36

Right. And just be open flexible. Be open and flexible, man.

Bethany Valenti 1:17:42

well, thank you so much. I hope you have a great rest of your day.

Ritch Hall II Ph.D 1:17:45

You two.