Identity vs. Performance | Leadership Tensions | Part 2 of 10

In today’s episode, Chip Parker is diving into another tension that we face as leaders: identity vs. performance. Listen in as he discusses the danger of placing our identity into our performance and actions, and how you can combat that in your life. Let’s dive in!

Thanks for listening to the Impact Leadership podcast! We are so glad that you're here. If you're looking to connect with Chip Parker, send him a message at chip@theorchardcc.org. New episodes are released weekly on Wednesdays. We'll catch you in the next episode!

Transcript

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Hey everybody, welcome in to the Impact Leadership Podcast. My name is Chip Parker, and I'm the lead pastor at the Orchard Community Church, a multi-site church in North Central Florida working to impact lostness and impact the next generation. This podcast is all about helping you as a church leader grow your leadership to grow your impact. Let's hop into this week's conversation. All right. So last week we began this conversation all around tensions and how we as leaders handle the tensions that we face. We all face so many tensions that if you don't learn how to handle that as a leader, it is going to overwhelm you. And the big idea that we brought last week and that is going to follow us throughout this series, looking at apparent tensions all leaders face is the idea that there are some tensions that we need to manage, but some things that look like tensions aren't tensions. They're decisions that we need to make. And if we treat tensions like decisions and we lean to one side or the other when we don't need to, we're going to break something in our organization. Or if we don't deal with decisions that need to be made and treat them like tensions that can just be managed, you're going to see your organization drift into unhealth. And so what we're going to do is we're going to look primarily these next couple of weeks at a few tensions that get to the heart of who we are as leaders. And again, I'm saying tension, maybe it's a tension, maybe it's a decision. We'll get into that. But the first one we're going to look at right now this week is the tension of identity versus performance. This idea of who are you? And who are you outside of what you do? Because the truth is, as leaders, our leadership, our roles, our jobs are a massive part of who we are. If you're listening to this podcast, it's because you see yourself as a leader and you say, Yeah, that's who I am. But here's the question: are we to manage a tension between our identity and performance? Or do we decide, no, one of these far outweighs the other? And I think it's simple. I think this is clearly a decision we need to make. Your identity is part of your foundation. Your performance has to flow from it. Maybe we would say it like this who you are is far more important than what you do. And who you are is ultimately going to determine how you do what you do. You need to understand this, leader. What you do and how well you do it, your performance is unstable. And that is going to make for a terrible identity. The truth is, there are some times as leaders where we are just crushing it. We are on top of the ball. Nothing is slipping through the cracks. We are cranking out the work. And there are some times when we're not. There are some times when life gets crazy, when it gets hectic. There are some times when our creative juices just aren't flowing. There are some times when we just genuinely aren't that productive. We are always going to have ups and downs, ebbs and flows, peaks and valleys. And you know what? That's okay. That is okay. But where it gets problematic is if your performance is core to your identity. Because then when you are crushing it, you're going to feel like a million bucks. And when you're not, you're going to fall into depression. You're going to feel worthless. Your life is going to become miserable. So you need to understand who you are is not what you do. What you do and how well you do it are always going to be up and down. Your identity must remain stable because it is your identity that stabilizes your leadership. If you are not secure in who you are, you are not going to be able to be an effective leader. And I'm going to take this a step further because I've already told you, and if you've listened to this, you already know I'm a pastor, I'm a follower of Jesus. I believe Jesus makes us better at life and gives us life eternal. And so what I'm telling you right now is that if you know Jesus as your savior, it is your identity in him that is an anchor for your soul. Not who you are in the fact of I'm a leader, I'm a CEO, I'm a manager, I'm a coach, I'm a husband, I'm a mother. It doesn't matter. Who you are in Jesus is far more important than any of those others. It is that identity in Christ that stabilizes you and that provides an anchor in the storms of life. And I think it goes further because when you realize that your identity is not based on what you do, but I would say on what Jesus has done for you, then you are free to not have to prove yourself over and over and over again. Look, I know how it is as a leader. I know that you want to come up clutch for your team and your organization. I know that you want to be the guy, you want to be the woman that people are proud and eager to follow. But what happens when we are not careful, when our identity and our performance wind up mixing is that we need something from the people that we lead. We need their affirmation, we need their pats on the back, we need their attaboys, we need their respect. And because of that, we become manipulative. Because of that, we can wind up hurting them and taking from them. And as a leader, we just can't go there. As leaders, we need to be sure, be clear that we are leading to do something for our people, to do something for our team, for our organization, not to get something from them. Because if as a leader, you are just getting something from them to fill up something that is lacking in yourself, man, you are not going to have a healthy culture. You are not going to have a healthy team. You are not going to be an effective leader. You have to lead in such a way that you do not have to prove yourself. One of my favorite authors and pastors, Pastor Tim Keller, said it like this in his short book, The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness, that when we put our identity in Christ, I don't care what you think about me. And I honestly don't even care what I think about me. What matters most of all is what Jesus thinks about me. And when I don't care what you think, and I don't care what I think, that brings freedom so that I don't have to prove myself. I don't need something from you. I can be a leader who is absolutely for you. And so when we treat this apparent tension of identity and performance as a real tension, what happens is that our performance slowly becomes our identity. And if that's the case, if our performance slowly becomes our identity, then that weight is going to crush you. You will live and die with every deadline, with every project, with every meeting. And think about that. If you want to see where you are right now, are you treating this as attention? Or have you decided, no, who I am far outweighs what I do and what I produce? Let me ask you this question. What happens inside of you? What happens in your heart and your soul when you fail as a leader? What happens in your heart when you succeed as a leader? Because if we feel either one of those too deeply, it's probably a sign that we are putting performance on a level with identity that it does not belong. So here's what I want to tell you. If your identity as a leader is built on your leadership, if it's built on your performance, that leadership is ultimately going to crush you. Because I know that leadership is a heavy burden to bear. But when we are secure and who we are, and I would say who we are in Jesus, then we are free to be leaders that are for others, and we don't have to carry that weight of performance on our own. So I hope this was helpful. I'd love to follow up and talk with you about it more, but I can't wait to keep the conversation going next week when we talk about humility versus confidence. One last thing before we end this conversation is just let me say if you are a leader, specifically in the local church context or even outside of it, I would love to be able to connect with you if I can help. If you would like, I'm gonna have my email in the show notes. Reach out to me. We can set up a time to connect because here's what I know leadership is bigger than any one of us. If we are truly going to have an impact in our communities, we need to lean on each other and we need to learn from each other. So I would be more than happy to do what I can to connect with you and help you lead right where you are. So reach out, let us know how we can connect. But until then, on the Impact Leadership Podcast.