From Division I Basketball Coach to Family & Community Impact

Conner Hampton is a former Division I basketball coach, a fundraising consultant, a national speaker – and he is Learning Lab Executive Director Lydia's husband.

On this episode of Let's Get Personal, Conner delves into what school was like for him as an active, social kid and how it informed their decision when he and Lydia chose a better school option for their 7-year-old son. 

Bonus: He also shares how he met Lydia and what he admires most about her, giving a glimpse into the partnership behind this Wichita power couple.

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:02

Hi, I'm Livia and I'm Kristen. Through our work at Learning Lab, which talk, we get a front row speed to innovation and personalized kindergarten through 12th grade learning. On this podcast, we share stories of how educators and parents are helping kids discover their passions so you can do the same for a child you love. Let's get personal. Hi everyone, and welcome to Let's Get Personal, Real Talk About Reimagining Education. Today in the Learning Lab studio, we have Connor Hampton, founder and owner of Connor Hampton Consulting. But most importantly, he is my husband. So best welcome to an artist ever. I just want it to be stated that I'm really excited to have it on the record, how much he loves me. So it'll be out there.

SPEAKER_01 0:55

You gotta wait. That's later in the story.

SPEAKER_03 0:58

Okay, but more importantly, Connor. Tell I don't know, Kristen. What do you want to ask him first?

SPEAKER_01 1:04

Well, I think maybe just give us a little bit of your personal professional background, whatever you want to just general overview of who is Connor Hampton.

SPEAKER_04 1:11

Sure. Who is Connor Hampton? Well, I'm Lydia's husband.

SPEAKER_01 1:14

Most importantly.

SPEAKER_04 1:15

Which is the most important thing. Uh I am Crew and Lila's dad. So I have a seven-year-old and a three-year-old. I know we talked about you guys have talked about them a lot on this podcast.

SPEAKER_01 1:26

It's crazy to hear him called seven, though. I know. That's our new development. He just turns out. He's such a big thing. Breaks my heart. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 1:33

Well, just wait. I know we talk about it.

SPEAKER_04 1:36

Um I grew up in Wichita. I was born and raised here. I um, like Lydia said, I'm now a fundraising consultant and I am a uh national keynote speaker. So I go around the country and speak on different topics. Right now I'm I'm working on a on a really cool project on influence.

SPEAKER_01 1:56

Oh, that's kind of interesting. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:59

So talking about not only fitting into the nonprofit space, which is the fundraising part of my life, right? But also how do we influence people into sales, into into their job, into into all the all the different things that I do?

SPEAKER_01 2:13

Maybe you should consult with Learning Lab, which we need to influence some people. We do.

SPEAKER_03 2:19

Um okay. Well, how did you get to where you are today?

SPEAKER_04 2:24

How did I get all because of Lydia? We'll talk about it later, but uh she did help me a lot to get my master's degree.

SPEAKER_03 2:33

I did help him a lot.

SPEAKER_04 2:33

She wrote she wrote, she edited, she didn't write them. She edited multiple papers of mine to get me here. Um just from just from an educational standpoint, I um I was a private school kid, but I never felt like I fit in at private school. Um went to a Catholic school, had um nuns as my first, second, and third grade teacher.

SPEAKER_01 3:01

Just first through third, though.

SPEAKER_04 3:03

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 3:03

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 3:04

And then a few of the paras, which were Sister Mary Peter.

SPEAKER_01 3:08

You still remember. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_04 3:10

And then Sister Connie was my first grade teacher, and she did a serious number on me.

SPEAKER_01 3:16

Explain that.

SPEAKER_04 3:17

Uh she was tough. I mean, the the the private school, the Catholic school was was was tough. It was, but I also felt like I never fit in because I felt like the only reason we went there because my dad was the PE teacher at the feeder school. So we got a discount to go. And so that kind of shaped my feeling of like, I don't really belong here. I I fit in with the the kids fine, but I just felt like there was something always off about it. Sure. Um, but again, school was never my thing. And it's really still not my thing. I don't I don't always like I'm not always like, oh, I love to learn. Which again was the experience of first, second, third of like how we're gonna do that.

SPEAKER_01 4:02

I would like to pick that apart a little bit because first of all, I mean, I for just for background, I know Connor pretty well. I knew Connor before I knew Lydia. That's right. Um but when you say like school's not your thing, can you tell me what it because with people people are your thing? So like being around 25 other kids every day was probably your thing. Like recess was your thing, right?

SPEAKER_04 4:27

For sure. PE was my thing.

SPEAKER_01 4:29

Yeah. But so was it sitting still for that long? Was it the academic work?

SPEAKER_04 4:36

Yeah, I I definitely am undiagnosed in ADHD. Um I I do not like to sit that long. I had an interview with uh this is kind of offbeat, but had an interview in high school for a lifeguard position. And I remember telling them, they're like, hey, you know, tell us about yourself. And it's like, well, you know, I'm a go-getter. Um, I just really, you know, like I really just don't like to sit down at a lifeguard position. And that's what they said. They're like, this is a this is a position where you do have to sit down. Are you gonna be okay? And so um, I don't I don't Did you get the job? I did.

SPEAKER_02 5:16

Did you like it?

SPEAKER_04 5:18

Uh no, I didn't. But I think um, again, just me sitting there and being like kind of off in my in my own world. Like I can literally look you in the face and have no idea what you're talking about.

SPEAKER_01 5:32

Yeah, I've experienced it. Like I am I am I wonder if that's ADHD? Because I I'm very much like that.

SPEAKER_04 5:38

And someone will say my name and be like, wait, what what are we talking about? Sorry. Or now I'm better at like, yeah, I just I really want you to dive into just a little bit more so I have more context, right? So I figured out ways, just just like all the way through school, like figuring out how to get through, like figuring out how to get through, get back into a conversation when I'm thinking about 20 different other things.

SPEAKER_01 6:04

Well, I mean, the things I mean thing you have a lot of strengths, you know, and we kids here. Well, no problem. But I would I really needed a confidence boost this morning. But I and I I could name some of them. I would like you two to talk about some of Connor's strengths. But I would think about our kids who have similar strengths to what I think your strengths are, and they probably don't like traditional school either.

unknown 6:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:32

So the things that you are good at, and you said like I don't love learning. I think probably what you mean is you don't love sitting down and reading a book, or you don't love education.

SPEAKER_03 6:42

Just for the I think what I was thinking about was that I think from what I remember you talking about of your school experience, you like to ask questions and you like to have answers to your questions. And I think you asked questions over time and your teachers ignored you or brushed you off or didn't give you an honest response, or you didn't understand why what you were doing was important. Like I've seen you do it over and over and over again of if something is not important to you, you're not going to do it. If it doesn't make sense, Connor Hampton is not going to do it. Why? Because it's not worth his time. And I think you've just had that your whole life. And then it's shown up to the city. So interesting.

SPEAKER_01 7:21

What an interesting like quality, which probably maximizes your time like as an adult in a lot of different ways. There's a lot of us that can't filter like that. So let's talk about what you are good at. So I would like, do you want to tell us what you're good at or do you want Lydia to tell us what you're good at?

SPEAKER_03 7:38

Oh.

SPEAKER_04 7:39

Uh I'll go first. You don't want to hear that. I feel like I have a good, I have a good read on myself. Um, I'm charming. I think I'm I think that is what that is one thing that that I've always like, again, it got me through school of basically just being charming, being likable, being funny, right? But I have a really good memory. So that's why I think I'm so funny. Because I'm able to bring back, like there'll be a callback to something that we said in this podcast. You'd be like, oh, that's pretty, that's pretty funny. Um, I think that I am extremely positive. I think that is a strength of my that again. I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a jock, right? Like I that was that was my thing in all the way through school. Is if you're on my team, I can instill that positivity. I can get you like there's no lead is ever safe when you're playing against me. My team has an elevated sense of who they are when they're on my team because I am extremely positive. Same thing in business, same thing.

SPEAKER_01 8:49

You're like the ultimate hype guy. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 8:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 8:52

Yeah. So that positivity has gotten me through a lot of stuff. And it's the reason why I'm a good fundraiser because you need that in everything you do, but there's a lot of doubt that comes along with that. And then when you take risks on your career of jumping into a consulting job, right? Of like, hey, I'm not gonna be full-time with anybody. I'm gonna be a consultant, I'm gonna take that bet on me, but I know it's gonna work because I'm extremely positive. Um, I have a unique ability in what I call the cold read, and what a lot of people call the cold read. I can have a conversation with somebody, and in about one to two minutes of that conversation, I can feel whether that person is a good person, a kind person, whether they're full of it a little bit or not, right? Um but and maybe it's because of the questions that I ask, but I can read people pretty well. Some people have surprised me and some people have can't be right 100% the same. Some some people have tricked me, right? Yeah. Some people surprise me in a good way, and some people have tricked me in a bad way, like oh, I thought I thought you were a good person and you are not. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 10:11

Um I feel so how do you think that skill helps? Yeah. I've I've only seen you be wrong once.

SPEAKER_04 10:18

I've been wrong.

SPEAKER_03 10:19

I'm sure you've been wrong more than a couple times. But really, that's true. A couple times. Um but I think you you use that to know Connor makes people feel like they're the most important person in the room. And I think your cold read helps you, and you do it on your teams and your engagements with groups of people too, is then I feel like you very easy quickly can pin down like the roles that people can play, or like what somebody needs to know or hear or feel to be a good team player, or like how like I'm trying to think. We I'm not a good bowler. This is a really silly example. But I remember us going bowling with Dre and Kelsey, and just the things that Connor would say to me as his teammate, like we crushed it. We crushed Dre. I'm sorry, Dre and Kelsey. If you haven't listened to it. But I'm again, I'm not a good bowler, but it's like my whole mental game changed because of the way that you were talking to me as your like teammate. And I think you do that a lot once you know like what roles people can play in a room. Would you agree or disagree?

SPEAKER_04 11:28

Yeah. I I I think I'm but that I've always been a coach.

SPEAKER_03 11:32

Yeah. So we haven't even talked about that yet.

SPEAKER_04 11:34

Yeah, I have a I have a really weird path.

SPEAKER_03 11:37

Okay, so let's go back to okay. So you went to Catholic school growing up. Then what happened? I went to Catholic school growing up.

SPEAKER_04 11:44

I didn't like it. My dad was a PE teacher at the high school I was at first. Yeah. Um, so it was a private private Catholic school. Um, we went there for two years. He got his administration degree and took his first principal's job out in a uh farming community south of Wichita. And um Was that a good change for you? It was. It was. Now I didn't fit in there as as well because it was a farming community, right?

SPEAKER_03 12:11

Okay, but hold on a second. Your senior pictures, you are wearing a cowboy button down with a horse in your senior pictures.

SPEAKER_01 12:19

So you figured it out slapstick, or were you like sensitively kind of doing it?

SPEAKER_04 12:23

No comment. I don't know what happened. I was I was immersed in the culture. Now I I I have I I do I do a good job of being a chameleon in different in different places. But um, but I enjoyed my public school, my my high school public school experience way better than my private school. So I fit in better at Oxford, but it's still, it was like they were they were kids that would leave school or leave practice and go work on their farms.

SPEAKER_03 12:52

Yeah. And they are probably all grown up together most of their life. Right.

SPEAKER_04 12:57

I mean, our so our class set a record for the largest graduating class at that school, and it was 42 kids.

SPEAKER_01 13:05

Yeah. Do you do you keep in touch with any of those kids?

SPEAKER_04 13:08

No, I I but again, I like I've moved like so much. Yeah. So after that, we moved, uh I moved away for college, played college basketball, played at Highland Community College, I um played at Tabor College, and then from there I moved to Kansas City and um took on this crazy idea of being a college basketball coach. And how I got there, I I basically showed up. I showed up at the right time with the right preparation, obviously. But I showed up in August and I said, hey, I am into the school, I've been accepted into the school of education here. I'm gonna get my master's degree here. I want to be a coach, how can I help? You don't need to pay me, you don't need to do anything. You tell me when practice it is and I will be there. And that's what I did.

SPEAKER_01 13:59

They did pay you eventually.

SPEAKER_04 14:01

They did pay me eventually. But that first that first semester they did not. So after the first semester, they started paying for a few classes. After that next year, I got the graduate assistant position, and then over the next eight years, I I worked my way up to an assistant coach.

SPEAKER_01 14:15

And so you were there for eight years. Yeah. I don't I didn't realize that. I don't think I ever knew that.

SPEAKER_04 14:21

Yeah. I um now I worked for two different head coaches. So I was able to not only be a be a division one graduate assistant, but also live or survive a coaching change, which is really hard to do.

SPEAKER_03 14:36

Why is it hard? Tell the people.

SPEAKER_04 14:38

So basically, when when you when you get let go as a head coach, they fire the entire staff. And so usually it's like everybody wants a clean slate. Um I had really just I had enough courage to go in when the next coach got the job and said, Hey, I'm I volunteered for them, like I'm a graduate assistant. I still have some time left on my um with my classes. I'm here to help you. Let me build the program that you want to build. Like let me help you build the program you want to build. And um and and he liked it. He he liked what I said, and I was able to be the linchpin between what he what you know what we had going on at UMKC, because he was still in the process of winning a national championship uh at the University of Louisville. So um so yeah, I I again and then just continued to be elevated from there. So graduate assistant, um, director of basketball operations, and assistant coach.

SPEAKER_01 15:40

That's cool. Tell everybody what it's like to be a Division I college basketball coach.

SPEAKER_04 15:46

It is the wildest job you'll ever have. If it's the it was it was absolutely crazy. And I know we'll talk about how much I love Lydia, but she stuck she stuck with me through the craziest eight years of my life. And um just because the amount of time that it takes, you know, in high school, you get summers off. At college, you get about four days. Yeah. When we got married. When we got married, I that's the that's the the serious two-week break I've ever I had in that day. Like a full two-week break of us basically, and it was really Wednesday to Sunday of us getting married at that time, and then a week after. So like I'm terrible at math. I had a math tutor growing up.

SPEAKER_03 16:36

Eleven days.

SPEAKER_04 16:37

Eleven days of a break. After that, it was it was right back to it. And you are doing, you are managing the kids that you have, you are you are making sure they're going to practice, making sure they're they're doing bit, they're getting better at basketball and they're and they're fitting into the system. You are making sure that they are going to their classes, are meeting with their tutors, are doing all the things that they have to do. You're recruiting kids, so you're trying to bring new people to the table all the time. You're going to recruiting events, you're going to games, you're going to high school games, you're going to this. I remember buying tickets to go see Wicked with Lydia. And I had to tell coach, I said, Hey, on October 23rd, I cannot go to a game. Like, I am taking Lydia to Wicked. And he's like, All right, well, we'll see.

SPEAKER_03 17:24

Yeah. Well, gosh. And I remember trying to plan your 30th birthday party, surprise party for Connor. Just a hand, like, really wasn't a lot of people. It was really the coaching stuff. And I was like, no, this is not going to be hard because you are all together. So you'll just, but gosh, Kareem changed practice five times. Anthony was texting me, like, I'm lydia, I'm really sorry. But now, like, now dinner can be at seven, or it could be. It was just like very unpredictable, maybe, is what it was.

SPEAKER_04 17:55

And it was 4 a.m. to midnight.

SPEAKER_03 17:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 17:58

And that's why I like I don't sleep very much anymore. Like the like, I'm I'm up late, and I'm usually now up early with the kids, and it doesn't really affect me. I don't take naps, I don't do any of those things. I've just coach with coach from Texas at 4 a.m. and like he broke up.

SPEAKER_03 18:16

But what were you doing until midnight? Like that's what I don't like all the stuff, like practice games, recruiting. I think people are like, no, that sounds cool, but what did you spend the majority of your time doing?

SPEAKER_04 18:27

It was film, film, film breakdown. So not only did you go to practice during the day, then you watched practice again, clipped it up so that you could show it to the team before practice the next day of like, hey, these are these are all the things that you did wrong. And these are all the things that we're getting better at.

SPEAKER_01 18:44

And I feel like that's like understanding the strategy of a sport like basketball is an intelligent. Yeah. Yeah. I was so interested in it. Did you like like mentoring and coaching like the guys?

SPEAKER_04 18:59

I mean, I do, I do miss that. And that's that's what I'm saying. Like people are like, Do you miss coaching? I was like, absolutely. Every day. I loved the I love the kids. I love being around and mentoring and and helping people get better and being able to see a because you can truly see a difference over the course of a year. If you truly work on something, you devote your time to it, you're gonna get better. And those kids got better. And that was fun. It was just the the time and and what I had to give up in terms of like I'm shocked she she stayed around because I was never home.

SPEAKER_01 19:35

Yeah, he was never home.

SPEAKER_04 19:36

I was always gone. And then the season was even crazier because you'd be gone, we'd be gone from Wednesday to Sunday. We'd leave at 6 a.m. on Monday or Sunday or Wednesday and come back about five or six on Sunday.

SPEAKER_03 19:48

Yeah. I I I know we've talked about it. But to give an example of how much Connor was gone, we get married after eight years of dating, seven years of dating. I don't remember how many, a long time, to where you would think I know my husband really well. I did not realize how big of a Chiefs fan you were until after we got married and you left coaching because football season and basketball season overlapped in a way that I never did rearrange my Sundays to watch Chiefs football. I didn't care when preseason started. And we were living in Kansas City. So it's not that like you don't have the context of, oh yeah, it's it's football season. It was not until you left coaching that you were like, why don't we have the Chiefs games on our calendars? Why are we scheduling X event at this time? I'll be watching the Chiefs game. Like, I just had no idea. Had no idea. So that was something new I got to learn about you nine years in.

SPEAKER_04 20:45

I am I am a major Chiefs fan. Yeah. And we would have practice mostly on Sundays uh in the afternoon, which is right when the Chiefs play, and I would be following on my phone. And coach caught me a couple times. He said, What are you doing? I was just checking in with a recruit. That's all. He said, What's the score? I said, I have no idea, coach.

SPEAKER_03 21:08

That's funny. But so you're coaching. Do you want to know anything, I guess, about the coaching chapter before we kind of move to the transition phase?

SPEAKER_01 21:18

I mean, I don't know. I just know because I I met Connor shortly after that chapter ended, and the coach thing I feel like comes through in every I mean, I have a number of stories where I'm like, yes, Connor is like once a basketball coach, always a basketball coach. It's true.

SPEAKER_04 21:37

And and it is the one thing that a lot of people like to talk about.

SPEAKER_01 21:41

People think it's interesting because how many people are Division I college basketball coach and it's an accomplishment. Yeah. And I the part of the story I love, and even at the time, I remember I think you told me in your interview at United Way is how you got the job. I mean, just just showing up and basically refusing to go away. And that's how you meet goals. I mean, you can't you don't you gotta work hard to get to a job like a Division One basketball coach. You're not just gonna be handed that job.

SPEAKER_04 22:12

Yeah, and there were and there were times that I wanted to quit. And there were times that I thought it was going to be too hard. And I remember talking to my dad and that's I was like, you know what? I I don't know if I could do it. I this this is too hard. Like I couldn't get a job. I couldn't find anything. I couldn't I had to he's like I'm like maybe I'll just I'll come home or maybe I'll just you know be a PE teacher at the school he was at and he was like no you can't he goes you you were destined for more and that's what I that's what I've always I've always gone I've always felt like I I'm I'm destined for more I know I know that I know that I can do more. And so like basically my dad told me like no you don't have an option. This is what you want to do. You told me that so this is what you're gonna do.

SPEAKER_01 22:53

What a great mentor or you know parent to have I mean think if every kid believed somebody telling them you're destined for more yeah yeah absolutely well that's the chapter where we met just so everybody has context. I mean while we're there how did how did Connor and Lydia meet?

SPEAKER_04 23:14

So this so this is this is this is a great story of forbidden love.

SPEAKER_00 23:21

I've never heard it written like that but forbidden love now it was not it wasn't illegal it wasn't it wasn't bad.

SPEAKER_04 23:31

Um she was she was a junior in college and I was on staff as a graduate manager. So I was in I was at umkc getting my master's she was at umkc getting her undergrad we were both students again everything is fine. In terms of forbidden love there was it was frowned upon to fratenize with the students as a staff member. I wasn't a staff member I was a volunteer yeah true so but it was like hey still a little don't be fraternizing with the the students but she was worth it she was she was the she was worth the risk of getting fired.

SPEAKER_03 24:09

So I was the building supervisor at Sweeney Recreation Center, which is where all the athletic offices are at UMKC so I had the keys to everything and I had the 530 a.m shift so I just very clearly remember that August which I was not sleeping much that summer I was doing too many things and going out with friends but not getting a lot of sleep coming into SWINE at 530 in the morning and just having the loudest human being invade my space at 615 and I'm like who are you and uh I he had this matching track suit Young Casey gear on and his swooped hair and it took a few months but handsome charming loud he wore me down so um but no it took a few months for him to follow through on his idea of hanging out he gave me his DJ business card with his phone number on it because that was also another life that you lived so that you were a DJ.

SPEAKER_04 25:17

That was a really good move it was really that impressive Lydia that he was a DJ's no here's the story is you I was like hey I need to get you my number and you're like yeah you do I said but I don't want to do it that way. Let me bring my card I have a card I have a DJ card let me bring that to you so that I can give you my card. So I told her the day before I was going to bring it and then I put it in my pocket the next day.

SPEAKER_03 25:41

But I think when you said that I was like this isn't real he's just making not like he just trying to make a joke. But I would have so Connor would come in to get ready for practice and I would have to unlock the cages with all the equipment and all of that. So I would get to spend 10 minutes a day at least with you unlocking stuff going around or whatever.

SPEAKER_01 25:59

So 10 minutes every day for a while I ended up getting your number on a DJ I mean if you fall in love at 5 30 in the morning I feel like that's true love.

SPEAKER_04 26:08

And and really at a time that I was so committed to basketball like it's it's you weren't gonna let a woman to the drive she she broke but here's so we we fulfill a statistic that talks about how women who make the first move end up in more last long lasting relationships.

SPEAKER_03 26:25

So Connor kept talking about us hanging out and I was like well you can come hang out with me in the library because it was I'm a good student and you can go to the library with me. But eventually I texted him and said are we just going to talk about hanging out or are we ever actually going to do it? And then we did and we've been together ever since.

SPEAKER_04 26:43

So what's interesting is that's it's called game for all for all those for all those millennials when you have made your game and you have you have somebody that looks like Lydia be like hey are we going to hang out are you just going to talk about it but that that goes a lot to influence people are more willing to do something if they have or if they're if they're the first to make the move right there this is all just a psychological game it is it is and people are more willing to do something if they have reasons to do it. And I gave her enough reasons to be like you know what I'm just gonna text and we're gonna we're gonna hang out. But again it was a busy time in my life it had nothing to do with you.

SPEAKER_01 27:31

Oh okay thanks I was very committed to basketball but she broke through here I am well thank goodness because now we have a little crew and a little Lila and we're back here.

SPEAKER_04 27:43

Okay so you're coaching basketball and then what happens uh I got fired yeah yep two 2019 um we had a really great season won uh more games took took UMKC to the best postseason or to the first postseason game they've they've ever played in and then um two years we have we have two bad years in a row they have we have a new AD that comes in um and it's and it's it's part of it right if you don't win you get let go we didn't do anything wrong other than not win enough basketball games and so we got let go and was was teetering on this idea of like staying in coaching and like and like leaving and being like okay what you know you know what do we do um and you know Lydia always thinks that she forced me out of this this this game again it was your dream it was I mean like back to your your your plans you're destined for more it's just all I ever had ever heard you talk about. So and then again she she feels like she she forced me out or she pushed me out and she's like you're gonna resent me someday and and again I yeah I mean she did she didn't but in a in a different way than she thinks right so um I knew at that point I knew what the life I wanted to live and that wanted to be one that I could fully control and be with my kids and because that's the one thing that like I've always wanted to be was a dad.

SPEAKER_03 29:16

Like I was so excited to be a dad and and I was pregnant with crew at this time when you got fired. I was 36 weeks pregnant when you were fired.

SPEAKER_04 29:26

And I I made the decision. She didn't make it for me but it was for them that I could control my life and do the things I needed to do and be there for them and not be the guy that was never there. And I didn't have my dad was always there was never an experience of like trying to make up for these other things. But I had lived that dream it was awesome it was fun but I knew that I was destined for more and that more was being a really good dad.

SPEAKER_03 29:55

Yeah so well and I mean you it was really hard I mean we have great coaching friends great friends that are coaches and it is a hard life it's it's March Madness season right now. You see those coaches that are winning they're they have great support systems they have great spouses but like they are not there for their kids and that is that's all that money but when do they enjoy any of it yeah yeah it's just that's a choice and that and that's a pathway but um was it scary when you were 36 weeks pregnant and your husband lost his job were you scared? Um no because the you know he had salary for several months. I mean it was and it we were just you the writing's kind of on the wall it's not like it totally surprises you I feel like you guys as a staff kind of knew it was coming. Um and so I mean like not that it wasn't scary but we were set up like the the exit package was enough to get us through and and I think again I instilling confidence is what I talk about.

SPEAKER_04 30:59

And I told her it was going to be fine.

SPEAKER_00 31:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 31:01

Like we like we've always had a like a figure it out mentality. And I knew that and I knew that I could figure it out. Yeah it took more time to like convince other people in Wichita that I could do more right than just be a coach because when I came back they're like oh why don't you coach high school I was like no I don't want to coach. Yeah yeah I want to do something different. So that's when I got into fundraising I did a little bit of fundraising with UMKC prior to that.

SPEAKER_01 31:26

So that's when I met you yeah yeah then that was one of the best days of my life second or third I said one of yeah so Connor came in and we had a really um great mentor and the boss that of our team at United Way um I did like one and a half years in fundraising and got out because I am not a fundraiser but I only took that job because of Roy Heatherly and I think that's why you wanted the job too probably well and he and he took a chance on me.

SPEAKER_04 32:01

Right he he un he under like he could see underneath the the coaching my potential he you know had our we we had a pretty small team there were like four of us at the time and he had us all meet Connor and he then he asked us what we thought and you know he was like well that's great I was gonna hire him anyway and I'm sure there were some people on the team like uh no we don't want him and Roy and Roy was like no we're gonna have him well my half of the interview really liked you stacy was just worried because you don't wear a wedding ring and she thought she thought that was a red flag yeah yeah well we're gonna handle that we're gonna we're can we talk about that so I have some serious like I'm very particular right I mean that there's I have some sensory issues with wearing a watch and wearing rings and wearing anything like the ADHD kicks in. I remember coach got coach got pissed because I wore my wedding ring and he's like dude you got to take that off you have not stopped touching it this entire meeting I wasn't nervous but I took it off and spun it on the table and then put it back on and then like so all the things and then so I just got my first tattoo which is so crazy. I never thought I'd be a tattoo guy.

SPEAKER_03 33:20

I've been looking at it as we put sitting here it needs some touched up.

SPEAKER_04 33:24

It does need touched up but this is where and I had to get it before crew turns seven and so this is where my kids when they hold my hand where their fingertips line up so there's five little triangles which is for crew and five little squiggly lines which are for Lila and I am getting my my ring tattooed so that way everyone can get off his back.

SPEAKER_01 33:49

Yeah it hasn't really been Lydia on your back about it as well it's just interesting how it comes back so yeah I love that. So you did the fundraising at the United Way for a few years.

SPEAKER_04 34:01

And then worked at a couple different organizations and did all different types of fundraising. So United Way was was mostly the the employee campaigns which was totally different. Then the next one was a capital campaign the next one was more initiative campaigns and so built this this good portfolio of different fundraising tactics and strategies and so when I decided to go out on my own I was like you know what I can do it we'll see we'll see what we can do it can't be it can't be that hard so um and then I love to I love to speak and I love to be on podcasts. So thank you for having me. Hey you're welcome I appreciate yes yeah it was an it was an easy yes um but um I do you know I s I love to to speak and and share and so again taking that that leap of I can do this on my own I can I I can do it is is built over people like Roy who trusted in me who saw the potential and and all those things and now now things are good.

SPEAKER_01 35:04

Yeah so you have three big clients you don't have to talk about them but I mean your business is going pretty well you're spending a pretty good chunk of every week working fundraising yeah yeah yeah and that's that and they're all a little bit different which is great which makes it less challenging in the in the in the idea of the consulting realm of going to the same people because we're not going to the same people.

SPEAKER_04 35:27

And I will and I was nervous at first I was like I don't I don't know I mean I guess I'll be a consultant we'll see we'll see how it goes and um the calls still keep coming in because there is there is a ton of people there's a ton of organizations that that need strategy that need fundraising that need these things that these tools these experiences that I have and so I'm just happy that I'm able to help these organizations move their mission forward and and do it in in the thing that a lot of people are afraid to do which is fundraise and I tell people all the time you can be and do a lot of things and I never thought I was going to be a fundraiser and people are like well how do you do it how do you ask people for money I'm not asking for people to give money to me I'm not saying give me give me$50,000 so that I can go do whatever I want with it right I am asking people for large amounts of money so that they can support a cause so that so that our community can be better. So the organizations that I help can be better and do more things and help help more people.

SPEAKER_03 36:39

What do you think sc what do you think scares people about fundraising? Like I mean to Kristen's point she's like fundraising was not for me. I did it for a year and a half. So maybe both of you like what do you think it is that makes it hard for people to do.

SPEAKER_04 36:53

Do you want to answer first? Because I'm still in it.

SPEAKER_01 36:56

So well I just I have always said I think people were either born to be a fundraiser or not. I think there's a quality that people have and I mean think about we have a mutual friend Sally Chesser who was on a board that Connor fundraised for that organization. And she is about as different from Connor as you can get she's very conservative in her behavior. She's kind of a sterner person but she has that quality she can ask somebody for money and they respect her and they'll give her money Connor has a quality too totally different personality type but just able to get people on board to give money I do not have that quality I don't I mean I have a lot of great qualities we can talk about and so I and I think it's a little bit rare um you know when I've worked I've worked on volunteered and been employed by a lot of nonprofits and you can tell when somebody has that quality so I mean hiring a good fundraiser to me is a good investment for an organization. So I guess I didn't really answer the question but what do you think scares people?

SPEAKER_04 38:08

I think that money does scare people and I think that asking for somebody to give the money that they made or the money that they've invested is is scary. Because you're talking about larger impactful gifts of 10,000 25000 a hundred thousand a million dollars and people And again we we're also in the Midwest and it's a little bit different where people don't like to talk about money. They don't like to talk about their salaries and they don't again it's kind of like oh don't don't don't talk about that um so I think I think money I think money does scare people and it it does take courage to do this job.

SPEAKER_01 38:54

Well you have to fully believe that number one the cause that you're supporting is a good cause so you probably wouldn't take a fundraising job from an organization that you just didn't jive with their mission at all yeah.

SPEAKER_04 39:10

Sure I think it's easier to when you're when you're when you're doing sales and doing things you have a product with nonprofits you are selling a mission so you're selling hope for the future and you're selling those things and that's a harder sell. And so when you have a product or you have a space that you can sell it's a lot easier because you can show them you can show the benefits where you're selling hope and you're selling the benefits to some somebody else. And so the amount of courage that it takes it you just somehow some way you gotta you gotta you gotta muster it.

SPEAKER_01 39:49

Yeah yeah well so you mentioned like making the community better. I feel like you and Lydia have been such great additions to Wichita um you're both civically involved right now you guys are helping build a park in Park City I'm so sorry um so and just you know your professional roles how you're involved in the community so what do you like about living in Wichita?

SPEAKER_03 40:25

You're the podcast guest you want me to answer I I mean this is home for me.

SPEAKER_04 40:31

I grew up on Douglas and Hillside grew up right behind margaritas like a classic location. Yeah everyone loves everybody's gonna be like oh I know where they I walked home from school every day passing Crown Uptown so I grew up here this is home for me my family's here um I I love that it it feels like home I love that you don't it's not really hard to get a meeting with somebody which is crazy to think like you could you could go and meet with some of the major players in town whoever they are and sit and just reach out say hey I'd like to set up a meeting with you I'd love to talk and most of the time it it can happen. So it is a it is a great place to grow a career to grow a community because people care about it. And people are actually willing to talk about it and meet with you where it's not a situation where it's like no I am the CEO of ABC company and we don't talk to anybody. Yeah yeah yeah and again I I don't have that experience of of anywhere that I've lived but I think Wichita is unique in that that you can talk to the major leaders just by reaching out.

SPEAKER_01 41:45

Yeah yeah I would agree with that. And then you guys are raising a family here. So let's talk about your kids a little bit um I think I mean from my experience I my kids are a lot older but I feel like Wichita's been a great place to raise kids just for all different reasons. Um one of them just being that when they learn to drive it's not scary. I can't imagine trying to teach a kid to drive in downtown Kansas City or something. Yeah. But you have crew who just turned seven last week and then you have Lila who's three who has red hair just by the way.

SPEAKER_03 42:21

Yeah Kristen and and Lila have the same souls.

SPEAKER_01 42:25

Yeah yeah it's been fun to bring the so we live in my childhood home um which has been very full circle for Connor in so many different very strange also I mean I I remember when you guys moved in there and I remember thinking I wonder if Connor's crazy for moving in there but but it's been um you know you have a a pretty big piece of property it's a neighborhood in the country yeah and Connor likes to do I mean one thing that I was thinking when Connor was talking about his strengths is Connor's really good at like building things and figuring things out.

SPEAKER_03 43:03

And that's a strength that um indicates a certain type of brain like I cannot even if you give me a kit with instructions I can't put the bookshelf together poor Kristen trying to put together that what what do we call that the that the step and repeat and repeat and Liab I mean like no it's like these I can't do it.

SPEAKER_01 43:24

But anyway you have a big shed full of cool toys for yourself you guys have a really nice workout room with three Peloton that has Peloton gear on right now we're a big Peloton family. You know you have turned that house into a great family place. You've built the bookshelf with the sliding ladder that I am I want you to tell people about the kids' room that you built for the kids because I still think that's a business like just like busting those out in people's houses.

SPEAKER_04 43:58

Yeah I have so many businesses that I I need to grow and I just don't have any time. Yeah. Um, yeah, we are we're we're very fortunate, and we couldn't have done it with without the people around us, right? Our family. And you know, you talk about my ability to build. I owe that all to Gene. Gene is my he is my he's my 70 plus uh year old neighbor. He is the one of the best guys I've ever met, ever been around. He has taught me so much. And a little bit goes to like me just being able to ask questions. Like I'm a big, I'm big into questions. I live, I live in questions. Um, but and he didn't like he was able to teach me and not think that any of my questions were stupid. Like I wish, I wish my teachers in school were like Gene. Like I would have been a lot better at school if I had teachers like Gene.

SPEAKER_01 44:52

Well, and if your teachers were teaching what Gene was teaching. I mean, that's that's probably true, too. That's true. Yeah, but yeah, what an amazing like midlife mentor, right? Yeah, and so showed up when tells you.

SPEAKER_04 45:05

Yeah, so I'm working on this tire. I can I have no idea what's gonna, I don't know what what's going on.

SPEAKER_03 45:10

This was soon after so Gene has been my family's neighbor for since I was a kid. So they've been there a long time. It's not that I didn't know who Gene was, but we move into the house, and not soon after you're working on this tire.

SPEAKER_04 45:23

Yeah, and so Gene comes over one day and tells me a few things, you know, helps me a little bit and then goes home and then comes back the next day and helps me with something else. And I go in and tell Lydia, I was like, man, I think this dude just like wants to hang out with me, you know? Like I think this dude like really, you know, he wants to be my friend. He wants to be my friend. And then like it wasn't two weeks later, I'm like slowly walking over there all the time, checking in with him, asking him different questions. And then I go to Lydia, I'm like, I want to be his best friend. Like it just totally switched. So um, so we were just working on this tire, and he he was able to get this tire back on a rim, which I've never been able to do. And and again, from then on, we just were best friends. I mean, um, he's my best friend. I don't know if I'm his best friend, but he helped he helped me build the bookcase. Yeah. So that was our first major project together. And then uh just again instilled confidence in me. Same thing Roy did with fundraising, right? Same thing that my dad did with coaching and Kareem did with coaching, like these these people. So we've been very fortunate that we had these people around. And um, we had this room in our house that was like the office, but it was like the dog's room, and there wasn't a desk, but the dog was in there, and it was like just this blank room. I was like, you know what, let's let's build up, let's build a playroom, let's let's do it. And so um Gene and I worked on that together. We built a loft, a reading loft for the kids to go up in, some stairs, some monkey bars, some ladder things, some other things. A rock wall.

SPEAKER_01 46:56

It's amazing. I gotta put a picture of it when we post the podcast. But I mean, I just feel like you could package that. And obviously, everybody's spaces are different dimensions. You couldn't do like a one-step space. Yeah, you know, that's a beautiful thing.

SPEAKER_04 47:08

We can we can fabricate to any space.

SPEAKER_01 47:12

We can make your space look like Connor also has a business called Hampton Haulers. That's right.

SPEAKER_04 47:17

Yeah, but we do our our fan, yeah. Lydia, Lydia and I, we we run Hampton Haulers together, and it was really just a side business. And it's it's handyman work, it's junk removal, it's dirt delivery. I mean, we've just been able to do and help so many people through that as well, through the handyman part.

SPEAKER_03 47:34

So But it's like Connor's brain needs two outlets. He needs the social relationship, like charismatic fundraising, making like hyping people and moving people towards a mission side. And then he needs this tactile, like me and Jean just working there. Yeah, yeah, cutting work.

SPEAKER_01 47:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 47:57

If you need something, without Hampton haulers. I mean, to his point, he that he's very good at figuring, figuring things out. And what's really sweet now is you know, you'll ask Crew, like, well, Crew, what do you want to do when you get bigger? And he's like, Well, what do you he looks at you like it's a dumb question because he's like, I'm gonna do Hampton haulers. I'm gonna be a Hampton hauler. What like what kind of question are you asking? Um, which I think is really uh a credit to you and the way that you involve him in the like projects when we can and um him watching you do.

SPEAKER_01 48:31

And I I'm really lucky because I just get a front row seat to it.

SPEAKER_03 48:35

You do.

SPEAKER_01 48:36

Um, but first of all, because you have the land and the cousins are out there running back and forth, and you have a big family in town, there are other cousins, so you have kids over there all the time. Yeah, but you're both really fun, hands-on parents. And I did want to talk about, you know, picking crew school. Yeah. Because crew, I was around for that too. And and it was when Lydia and I were starting to look at what alternative education models were available, not for crew's sake, not for crew's sake. For work's sake. And I remember Lydia just starting to talk about, no, I think Crew maybe needs something a little different. And so, how'd you guys make that decision?

SPEAKER_04 49:22

Yeah, I was um I was not all in. And usually I am. Usually I'm um, okay, that's that's great. So Crew went to um the child care center at at Wichita State. We loved it. It was great, it was perfect. It's a great place, it's awesome. It's again, we're very fortunate. But then, you know, I liked my public school experience a lot more than my private school. So I said, we're not doing private school. Right.

SPEAKER_01 49:46

So let's make sense logically.

SPEAKER_04 49:48

Let's let's do let's do public school. And that was my thought all the way. Like, once he gets to the CDC, we're gonna go to Valley Center schools. It'll be close, it'll be easy, it'll be a good one.

SPEAKER_03 49:55

And that's where I went to school. Like, I you remember that. I was very totally fine for a very like the whole time of like, no crew's gonna go to Abilene, where I went to school, and be totally fine.

SPEAKER_04 50:06

Yeah, and then and then Lydia was looking at these different spaces and meeting all these different people, and she goes, Hey, let's go over and check out Green Gate.

SPEAKER_01 50:17

And Green Gate's pretty special. It is, it is it is yes, it is.

SPEAKER_04 50:22

But I'm here to tell you, I was not, I I had so many reservations. I was so I was I was nervous about even going there. And after after the tour, like it was great, it was awesome. And I just I just remember telling Lydia, I said, you know what, let's so let's real let's really think about that. You gotta, I kind of I felt like it was a little bit hippy-dippy. Yeah, yeah, in terms of like, you're okay, hold on. You're telling me that you don't like, hey, we nudge them to go into work and do their work. I'm like, no, you tell that cat to get him, get inside and do like no, but they, you know, we want people to be able to expand. Feel autonomy and accountability, yeah. Accept education, the gift that it is, right? And um, and how like how we made that decision was like Lydia doesn't try to influence me to do a lot of things. Like it's hard, it's uh to her credit, it's very hard to influence things in the world. Very rarely does she put her foot down and say, No, I think we need to do this. I think for crew it's the most important thing. I think and she doesn't ever really do that. She's kind of just like like I don't know if we'll get to you know what I love about her, but or what what her best qualities are. We'll get to that. But she's very, she's very steady, she's very like easily, easily go with the flow, right? It is but on this, on crew's school topic, she had a very she was she tried she influenced me extremely. She told me that she thought this was the right way to go, and I was nervous. I was like, no, we're not.

SPEAKER_01 52:06

So Greengate is a play based model for people who don't know. So they spend hours a day outside playing in the sand, feeding the chickens. There's goats, yeah. And so they play and they sit, right? Hippy dippy. They they play more than it's very based. Catholic school is super traditional. You know, my girls go to Catholic school, and you know, my girls were brained differently than you. But even though you didn't love Catholic school, you were kind of like programmed to think school is you go to class, you sit there, you listen, and then this Green Gate is like flipping that on its head, right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 52:41

Yeah. Well, and just what going back to crew, like what we the realization I had driving in the car at some point through West Wichita, and I'm thinking, like, oh yeah, Green Gates over there. We had gone to visit. I knew Katie from Wise, Wichita Innovative Schools and Educators. Um, but just when I was thinking about Crew going into kindergarten, Crew is an outside kid. And I don't say that lightly. Like he has always been the kid that if he's upset, if he's bored or whatever, you take him outside and he is like, couldn't be happier. Rain, snow, it doesn't matter. Um so, and then he loves to like have the output of work. So like he would, oh he still does. He wants to do whatever Connor's doing because Connor is usually doing something that involves like physical exer exertion. It's like boom body movement of some kind. And so I just had the panic of like, this kid, you're telling me this kid is gonna go sit in a kindergarten classroom and be asked to sit still and like not move as much and only have 15, you know, a couple of 15 minutes. Let's our family is gonna be a chaotic mess in the evenings. Like, that's what I was thinking about. I was like, okay, who's this kid gonna look and be like when he comes home after school? And that was kind of the panic that I had. And so that's what's different about Green Gate is like a crew comes home filthy. He was here the other night. We were working on his project, he takes off his socks and his feet are so dirty. Um, but and he was walking around here with his dirty feet. But um, that's just like that's part of their model, is they believe that kids deserve space and that they should be outside, and it's very like community-oriented in the way that like when the kid younger kids have a problem, they're supposed to go find an older kid. And I think that's really important is not always relying on an adult to kind of guide you. So I could go on. But Connor did like that was not what Connor was used to.

SPEAKER_01 54:31

That's not what he had in his head as what his kids were gonna experience.

SPEAKER_04 54:34

And I remember sitting there, like, okay, what do you think? And and then, you know, she went off on her the her influential speech. And I remember thinking, like, okay, we'll we'll try it for one year.

SPEAKER_01 54:50

And that was last year, kindergarten.

SPEAKER_04 54:52

And that was last year, and he will, he will, he will finish there.

unknown 54:55

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 54:56

So again, so he'll go through eighth grade, do you think? Yeah, I mean I think so. And we're very comfortable like looking at Crew as a kid each year and being like, okay, is this the best fit for him this year, yes or no? Is this does it work for our family? Because it's not close to our home. So it's a logistical conundrum every day.

SPEAKER_04 55:15

For who?

SPEAKER_03 55:17

Connor has graciously, I'll put it on the record, has graciously taken over mostly most of drop off and pickup duty, which is awesome and very appreciated.

SPEAKER_04 55:28

But I I I do love that part. But I think like watching crew in Green Gate and through like I see the silly crew, the fun crew, the wild crew, right? And and like you think about like what it could have been, like what public school could have been, like that it does scare me now.

SPEAKER_01 55:48

But seeing him with his Green Gate friends and seeing like they're here, it's it's a Friday when we so they don't have school at Green Gate on Friday, so we get four of Crew's class, four or five Green Gate kids show up. Yeah, four specifically from Cruise class, and they're his buddies, and they're you know, it's and they are the coolest group of seven-year-olds. Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_04 56:10

But again, like when you see him in different situations, and I know kids kids are shy, right? But like he'll mostly have his hands in his pockets, you know, trying to see what the adults are doing, but around his Green Gate friends and where he feels comfortable, he's silly and wild and and just like he laughs like he does when he's at home.

SPEAKER_03 56:30

Yeah, and that's like that's really important. That's a good ending for it. I love that. Yeah. Well, so do you think Lila will go to Green Gate? Probably, yeah. Yeah. And what's great about Green Gate is it feels very similar to how the CDC does learning. So, like the transition, I think, for Lila and Crew going from see the child care development center at child development center at Wichita State, it's it is still very like play-based as well. And they're very creative. And so I don't think crew thought twice about what Green Gate looked like because he's like, no, this is just this is what learning is. And I think Lila will be the same. They're very different people. I'm not, I'm concerned more for Green Gate when Lila gets there versus concern for Lila, but what's her little personality like? So where Crew is calm, steady, chill, um flappable, he's our observer.

SPEAKER_04 57:20

He's our he's our triangle, he's our he's our home, right? He's the steady thing. Lila is our free move, yeah. Free moving, all motion, all emotion. She is, she is, she's a replica of me. Yeah, she is unapologetically herself. She's gonna do what she wants to do. She can she can tell you what she wants, and she will get what she wants.

SPEAKER_03 57:48

I love her. Yeah, it's so funny because Crew is uh he reminds me so much of me as a kid. Like everything's internal, like inward. Not that I'm not extroverted, but you know, you figure that out at some point. Um, but Connor and Lila, everything is outward, everything is out loud. You don't like it's not that much of a mystery.

SPEAKER_01 58:08

I I love um just knowing both of you so well. I mean, because working with somebody and both of you when I worked with you in very close proximity, closer proximity with Lydia. I mean, poor Lydia. I'm like in her face all day every day. But I just think about how different you two are. Yeah. Um, you know, Connor every morning would like cheer me into work. Yeah. And it does, it makes you feel so good. And like I, if you would have asked me, like, does Connor like you? I'd be like, Well, yeah, obviously, obviously. If you ask me right now if Lydia liked me, I'd be like, maybe I feel the exact same moment. I don't I don't necessarily mean that, but you're just so different. And like you Connor tell you what he thinks. Lydia, maybe not, but Connor. She'll think about it for a long time.

SPEAKER_04 59:07

I will.

SPEAKER_01 59:07

I didn't make a decision. We have to get some dirt on Linia. So what are what are some of Lydia's best qualities? Oh my Lori.

SPEAKER_04 59:15

What is Lydia is very, very kind. Um, that is that is Lydia's best quality. Like she is so she is so kind. She makes me kinder, which is good, which is hard. Like a lot of people see me as a like a really nice guy. Sometimes I'm not that nice, and sometimes I'm not that kind. And I can be kind.

SPEAKER_01 59:33

I think you're pretty kind.

SPEAKER_04 59:34

Well, thank you.

SPEAKER_01 59:35

But but I agree. Lydia, Lydia truly cares about other people.

SPEAKER_03 59:39

I do. But I think to Connor's credit, I wrote it down. Like I was taking notes. Connor, if you're Connor's person and then you are like somebody treats you poorly, that's where unkind Connor comes comes from. I'm very, I'm very protective. Like he's very protective of his people.

SPEAKER_04 59:54

So and KB, you're one of my people.

SPEAKER_01 59:56

Yeah, I know I feel so lucky to be one of your people. Well, and I have to say, Connor really got me this job. I mean, Connor, Connor recommended that Lydia contact me about this job and save me from a pretty tough work environment.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:10

And also And then we and then we talked after you had the interview. And I nudged you a little bit more.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:18

I talked to her too. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. But here she is. But no, I mean, I'm very grateful for being here. So that was helpful in my life. But you are uh you're you're always gonna be there for your people. And I feel like you're you're a little selective about who your people are. So once you're in, you're kind of in with kind of in.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:38

Yeah, it's true. And I and what we're talking about, Lydia, right? So um, you know, she is she's I I'd laugh every like not every morning, but crew and her buttheads in the morning.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:49

And I said, Is it because crew is slow? We've talked about crew, it doesn't like to be rushed.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:55

Easy. I'll tell you why, and I tell them both, I was like, Y'all beef because you two are the same person.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:03

Yeah, they have a similar vibe, right?

SPEAKER_04 1:01:05

Yeah, you guys, you guys are always you guys just get under each other's skin because you guys are the same person. Like, and um, now I appreciate her because she is the person that gets us moving, that gets us going. If I was in charge of the morning routine, we'd get to school about 10 30 in the morning.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:25

That might be true. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:27

And and again, like she she's very, she's she's grounded, she's steady, she's good at that. She's good at the things that I'm not, which is you guys are like really great compliments. It's kind of like which is the schedule and the the time frame and this and like making me be more kind and making me be more on time and making you know, getting our like like getting our kids to follow a schedule and how important that is, and getting them in the right educational situation and like like those things that that I don't think about that she does. So um the kindness, the steadiness. Um she has a she has a like a really quiet strength about her, and it's really impressive.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:13

Where I'm like more of like a loud, like in your face strength where she can lead through silence, which is crazy.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:21

I always say that like Lydia could be in a meeting about underwater basket weaving that she knows nothing about and she can talk about it like she's the expert in the room. It's like fascinating. Uh we could get off a call and it'd be like, you didn't even know what you were talking about, but they didn't know it. No, yeah, no.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:38

She takes she takes she takes everything in where I don't do that. I will take what I want and run with it. You tell me something, I'm I'm gone. She will she will take everything in and then be able to work alongside you and work work with you and like subtly put her schedule in and you know make you feel like you know what that is important. Like we we influence people in a different way.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:07

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:09

Hers is quiet through steady structure. Mine is wild, crazy, let's have fun.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:17

And we've recently we had Ashley Watkins on the podcast. If you didn't listen to the episode about the human design blueprint, but I looked into Connor and I've blueprints, and not that I needed this to tell us, but it was really interesting to see, you know, I've my role is the container creator, like the structure and the we've gotten in not arguments, but I've expressed frustration about like I'm always the keeper of the schedule and I'm always the keeper of the time. And I don't always love playing that role. Like it's like he has no idea what time it is ever. Just he just doesn't know. Um, is it dark out or light out? I mean, that's I think the basic question. But like, but that is my role, like that is what I am good at, where Connor brings like the energy into whatever space has been created. And so I do think that is how we work well together. It's just interesting to see how it shows up in different ways.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:09

So and I think like being a parent, it's it's so interesting. Like we're still trying to figure it out, but some like sometimes I have to like I will pull the kids aside and say, guys, this is what this is really important to your mom. You like we need to be on time this morning.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:29

Of any morning, this is the morning.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:32

And then and then I'll look at crew and he'll be like, Yeah, I got it. I'm like, Crew, like, what do you need to do? He goes, I'll be on time, don't worry. And then I look at Lila and she's like, I don't know. I don't really care that much, but I like if you're talking to me about it, I guess. Yeah. Um but just just like leadership, just like anything, like parenting, you gotta figure out what makes your kids tick. And like Crew wants to he wants to follow the rules. He wants to make sure that like he's hitting all the things. Crew knows that I love to play, so we like we're gonna play. Crew knows that timing is important to Lydia, so we like have to be on time, and then we can weave that together of like, no, this is important to your dad. We are gonna be where our feet are, we're gonna have fun, we're gonna do these things. Where I say, hey, this is important to your mom, let's stick to the schedule, let's let's get going and keep everybody on this on this routine. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:35

So well, it's fun to have a firm of seat watching you raise two amazing kids and make a difference in our community.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:44

So thanks for being supportive to both of us. You've been there for all of it. So it's been couldn't be here without you too, but it's fun to have you have different experiences with each of us in different ways.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:57

Well, any final thoughts for the people? Oh wait, no, okay. I got one question.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:02

I always ask everybody this. I'm sorry. What are Connor Hamptons? You can do personal, professional, or overall. What are your non-negotiables?

SPEAKER_04 1:06:13

I have a lot.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:14

We'll pick like two or three, maybe.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:19

My non-negotiables.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:26

And I didn't prep him with this question. I thought about it.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:29

No, that's okay. I I love it. I listen to a lot of podcasts, and they always have uh uh either a thing at the end. So I should have been I should have been prepared.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:36

You don't listen to all of our podcast episodes so far? I watch podcasts?

SPEAKER_04 1:06:40

I watch a lot of the stuff on Instagram. So I watch a lot of the reels. I'm so impressed.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:44

This has not shown up on real yet.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:46

Yeah um I think a major non-negotiable for me is professionally and personally is take care of the people around you. I've always been now like I said, I've had great like my dad and Gene and and Kareem and uh you know all these these people in my life that have taken care of me and taken care of the people around them. It's I think it's really, really important that if you have somebody in your corner, you you take care of them. And so that's definitely a non-negotiable for me. I think that fun is very, very important in everything. Like I don't think enough people have fun at their job. I think people do a job because it gives them money. Yeah. And they can have they can they can do fun things because of that money. But I think that you really, really need to enjoy most. You're gonna I I don't like things about my job that I do now, and I chose these roles. Yeah, right. Like I just think like fun is so, so important.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:05

Think about how many hours of life you spend at your job, and if you truly didn't like most of it, of course, there are always gonna be parts of a job that you would rather not do. Yeah, of course.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:16

And then I think the other thing is like the same thing. Like, don't take don't take life too seriously. Don't think you can't make a change either. Like, I have been very successful in changing careers, and it doesn't work for everybody, I get that, but like you're non-negotiable is negotiate with life. Like, if you're not having fun, if you're not enjoying what you do, move on or work your way out of it. And I think when it when it all comes down to it, take care of the people around you, love the people around you, have a whole lot of fun, and don't take life too seriously. Because I did for a long time. I was that I was that little boy that my dad would always be like, hey man, enjoy life.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:08

Yeah, the number of times Connor Hampton has said that to me, Lydia, just enjoy life. Just just enjoy life. I'm like, I am. But it's all good. You do a great job at enjoying life.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:20

So yeah, those are good, and I think those come out, come across in the way that you live your life. So well, thank you so much for being on our podcast, Connor. Thanks.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:30

Thank you both. I know this, um, like I've got to see it firsthand. I've got to see Learning Lab from the beginning, from the the ideation stage to all this, and I know it's been a lot of work for for you, Lydia, and for UK B just to like get this thing off the ground and get people like around it and all this thing. And like this is so it's been so hard, but um, I really do think it's so cool. I'm really very proud of both of you. Thanks.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:00

So yeah, thanks. It's been really fun.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:03

Yeah. All right. Thanks, Connor.