EP 20 - Straight Up. 🍸 Extra Dirty: Vacuums and Batteries: Which Are You?

EP 20 – Straight Up. 🍸 Extra Dirty: Vacuums and Batteries – Which Are You?

Every circle has them… the ones who drain the room and the ones who charge it. 🔋⚡

In Episode 20 of Straight Up. Extra Dirty, hosts L.A. Marchesi and Mikey G dive into one of the toughest realities of personal growth: sometimes leveling up means letting people go. ✂️

As we step deeper into 2026, many of us are realizing that not everyone in our lives is meant to move forward with us. Some people lift you higher, while others quietly pull you down. 🪫

In this episode, we unpack the idea of “Vacuums vs. Batteries.”

Are you surrounded by people who drain your energy and keep you stuck?
Or are you building a circle that charges you up and pushes you forward? ⚡

L.A. and Mikey share real-life stories, tough personal decisions, and raw moments about cutting off relationships that no longer serve a healthy or productive purpose. Whether it’s a friend, relative, toxic relationship, or long-standing connection, sometimes growth requires making uncomfortable choices. 🧠

This conversation is honest, unfiltered, and relatable for anyone navigating the challenge of protecting their peace while pursuing growth. 📈

Because at the end of the day, the real question is simple:

Are you a vacuum… or a battery? 🔋

🍸 Straight Up. Extra Dirty.

Hosted by:
🎙️ L.A. Marchesi
🎙️ Mikey G

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:19

Welcome back, Mr.

SPEAKER_01 0:20

T. Welcome back. I even got Mr. Biggs here with us. Biggie Notorious B I G is back for his cameo appearance.

SPEAKER_00 0:29

Always.

SPEAKER_01 0:30

Biggie, what do you have for you? Mr.

SPEAKER_00 0:32

Mr. Biggs.

SPEAKER_01 0:33

Mr. Biggs, he's really still here.

SPEAKER_00 0:37

So, what's the T? What do you got going on?

SPEAKER_01 0:40

Listen, like, I know we just turned the calendar page. You know, we're in a whole new year. It's a whole new me. It's a whole new you.

SPEAKER_00 0:51

It's definitely a whole new me.

SPEAKER_01 0:52

I have to tell you right now, straight up, that I am now, like, every year we get older, our lives get shorter. Right? Common sense. And so, you know, you have to start kind of like, you know, like, you gotta start deciding like who you want to be in your life at the moment. And, you know, it used to be all about people that wanna, you know, it's all about, oh, I got a hundred thousand friends. All right, let's just figure out who the real ones are and who the fake ones are. And there's people in our life, there are people in our life that are either vacuums or batteries. And I'm gonna wonder.

SPEAKER_00 1:39

What do you mean by what do you mean by that? Like the vacuum.

SPEAKER_01 1:42

Okay, those so the vacuum is somebody that's literally gonna suck the life out of me. Somebody that's gonna just be so toxic. And like, no matter, you know, like they could be one of your closest friends. And your closest friend because they are they've been with you the longest or whatever. And it's like, but all those years, they just create so much drama, drama, and toxic and all this other kind of stuff. And I'm like, you know what? I gotta get, you know, and it's not easy to to kind of like separate yourself from the you know, the vacuums that suck the life out of you. And then, you know, as far and and there's been a lot of people that have sucked the life out of me. Well, and it's not just always friends, it's family too. So we don't need to say names, but they know who they are, and it's a waste of my time. It really is. And I'm like at a place in my life where I want to surround myself with batteries. And batteries are the people that energize me, that keep me motivated, that keep me inspired, that you know, they're good for me, they're good for my family, they're good for the people around me.

SPEAKER_00 3:04

Are you like one of those people that it's like a dead to me? Like if somebody like makes a mistake, or is it like uh well, yes, actually.

SPEAKER_01 3:14

And you don't have to be a friend, you don't have to be a family. So for instance, you know, no secret, I've been very um open about my father's passing and very emotional about that. And what I will say is that there are friends, former friends, and family members that did not reach out to our family when my father passed away. And that to me is now you're dead to me. Okay? Because you listen, I had a former business partner, and we did not leave off on good terms. And a few years later down the road, she con she her mother passed away. And I didn't really you know, I knew her mom, but I didn't know her mom, you know what I mean? And I remember seeing that and so heartbroken because I'm fucking human that I didn't text her. I didn't send her an Instagram message or a DM. I picked up the goddamn phone and called her and said, I am so sorry to hear about your mom. And it wasn't uh it wasn't an open an opening to try to reconnect or anything like that. It was about humanity, pure fucking humanity. And there are people in my life that didn't have the goddamn humanity. Whether I you knew me for uh you knew me, you knew about my family, you knew about my relationships. Worse, you are family, and you had no, you had you didn't even acknowledge. Not acknowledge, not just myself, but my son, who was very close with their grandfather, and that to me, you're a piece of and you're dead to me. That's because that's dead to me. And do you agree?

SPEAKER_00 5:31

I totally agree. So that my anger is still there.

SPEAKER_01 5:34

And I got friends, I got friends. Listen, I got I got not I I have somebody that I am no longer friends with, and she's in a very toxic relationship with a man. I will never again take a side because she asked me to be her friend and take her side on her relationship. I did. She gets back with the guy, and then all of a sudden, I'm the worst person in the world because I'm public enemy number one because I sided with her. She chose to go down the toxic road. I'm glad she's out of my life. But that person, now it just shows me that that person is just as evil because when my when her father passed away, you were there. I was there for her. I drove from New Jersey. Yeah, there is an expectation.

SPEAKER_00 6:25

For the you have an expectation for your batteries. Your batteries have to have an expectation.

SPEAKER_01 6:29

Your batteries have to have an expectation. And when I got my cancer, was she there? No, she didn't come. And when my father passed, even though we don't talk anymore, because she makes some some convoluted story about a trip and and and plane tickets, like she's just she's out of her mind. But this person who I am no longer friends with over something that was, you know, instigated by her narcissistic person that she's with.

SPEAKER_00 7:04

So if she's narcissistic, then she's not then I guess she is. She's the vacuum.

SPEAKER_01 7:08

She's the vacuum. So she's a vacuum. So I've learned to let go, let them, like that book from Mel Robbins, that everybody's like, you gotta read that. I'm like, oh girl, I law, I'm I let go of that. I'm not, I don't want to be a part of that.

SPEAKER_00 7:21

I'm a tell them. I'm a I'm not a freaking let them.

SPEAKER_01 7:25

I think let them.

SPEAKER_00 7:26

I'm tired of like people walk all over you. I don't think so.

SPEAKER_01 7:31

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 7:32

If you want to be a jerk, I'm gonna fing tell you you're being a jerk.

unknown 7:36

Right.

SPEAKER_00 7:36

So I love Mel Robbins, and I think that there is something to the whole idea of let them. I think there is, like allowing somebody to be themselves, be their authentic self, and also to be the observer and pay attention to what is really around you. Because sometimes you think that you have a friend and they're really not a friend, right? Exactly. Which is what a vacuum is, right?

SPEAKER_01 8:00

And you find out that people use you, they're jealous of you. Like these are why things blow up, you know, and the real friends are the ones that stick stick by you through thick and thin. And, you know, when that particular situation, I mean, I don't want to add any more energy to it because it it's so far behind me. But what it means is that people that it doesn't have to be friends, it could be family, like when something traumatic like that happens, like I do expect people to be like me, and I can't control anybody, but and I get chihuahua. Sorry, Biggie. Well, and also I do get Chihuahua, and I, you know, I'm like, that's just not, that's not humanity. Like my like what my dad passing was a really big moment for me to see people's true colors.

SPEAKER_00 8:48

I do feel like in death you definitely see people for what they really are.

SPEAKER_01 8:54

My son was devastated. Like people didn't come out, people didn't reach out.

SPEAKER_00 8:58

But do you feel like maybe there could be somebody that might not understand like how to grieve?

SPEAKER_01 9:05

Like they don't understand for that. No, there's no excuse. You can't. So listen, like I said, you know, when my former ex-partner, you know, business partner, you know, her mom passed away. We hadn't talked for years. For years. And I picked up the phone and we had a nice conversation. It wasn't like, okay, we're gonna be friends again. It was humanity in the finest. Because that's the way I was brought up. That's the way my father brought me up. And so when my father later passes on, the you know, there there are people that did not come back. And and and you know what? Whether you like me or not, have some they come and go in chapters, like, right.

SPEAKER_00 9:57

So I'm done.

SPEAKER_01 9:58

I'm done. I'm done with the fing vacuums. I'm so over it. I will only surround myself with people that are are batteries.

SPEAKER_00 10:06

Right.

SPEAKER_01 10:06

I don't fight for friendships. I don't need to fight.

SPEAKER_00 10:13

Like people who just don't give a sh.

SPEAKER_01 10:15

I think age come I think, yeah, I think age and wisdom. Yeah, I mean, you learn through experience.

SPEAKER_00 10:21

I mean, I feel like in my 40s, like I definitely like, and I had an experience too, like uh with somebody that I thought that was a friend that you know kind of allowed their to use their emotions as an excuse to behave inappropriate to affect me negatively.

SPEAKER_01 10:44

Right.

SPEAKER_00 10:44

Total vacuum. Done.

SPEAKER_01 10:46

Done.

SPEAKER_00 10:47

Appeared to be a battery.

SPEAKER_01 10:48

Done.

SPEAKER_00 10:49

But appeared to be a battery on the outside. I thought that person was a an uplifting charge, right? And instead, they were the the vacuum. And sometimes they come disguised.

SPEAKER_01 11:01

Right. I mean, here's the thing. If you are, you know, in a full-blown addiction mode, you have mental health issues, you have anything like that, that's a pass. That's a pass for somebody acting completely inhumane to me. Yeah, I mean, that's something like saying, like, okay, that person's not in their right frame of mind to act like.

SPEAKER_00 11:25

There's a lot of people that use those type of things like mental illness.

SPEAKER_01 11:28

They do, but these are talking about people that don't. Right. That that claim they're fing amazing, you know? And you know, people could claim they come from a close family, that good people also bullshit. I think it's more, it's not even so much the friends, it's more the family that burn the most. They they burned. And you know what?

SPEAKER_00 11:47

Family always burns harder.

SPEAKER_01 11:48

It does burn harder.

SPEAKER_00 11:50

Because you really go like I I mean, I'm Italian, you're Italian. It does. We were raised that blood is thicker than water, right? You were so you would think that blood is thicker than water.

SPEAKER_01 12:00

You do think that, but it's not.

SPEAKER_00 12:01

But it's not. No, it's not.

SPEAKER_01 12:03

It's not. It's not. Because you know what? The closest friends of mine I call family, I call you and Michael family. Um, you know, those are the people like that that are there for you. You know, there are pe there are friends that I'm not very close with, but they came for me. They came for us as a family, they came for my son. It's not just about me, but it's for our family. And that was a big awakening for me.

SPEAKER_00 12:34

You know, from what I'm hearing, like I feel like the fact that like they didn't call uh for your son affects you more than about your son.

SPEAKER_01 12:42

It is. You're uh you know what? You're right. Because you know what? Social media and and texting is so easy nowadays.

SPEAKER_00 12:50

We're so connected.

SPEAKER_01 12:51

You don't have to pick up, you know what? You don't even have to pick up the you don't have to call them, you don't have to call anybody. You could just end up messing with them.

SPEAKER_00 13:03

Two o'clock in the morning, and you're better.

SPEAKER_01 13:04

One cousin in my family, out of all my cousins, that didn't call me, and he knows who he is, and he did not text. He didn't have to call. I would have accepted a text. Guess what? Guess what, sweetie? I wouldn't have thought of it as an opening, like we want to hang out and be friends again. No, but you missed a humanity thing. You didn't pick up all you gotta do was text. You didn't have to call me, but yet my son, my son is your wife's godmother. Why didn't she text my son to say, I'm sorry to hear about your grandfather? And my cousin should have texted me and said, I'm sorry to hear about your father. Why? He was the only one out of all my family that didn't reach out on social media, on DMs, and text messaging and phone calls. Okay? So word to the wise out there, like that is somebody who's dead to me. That is somebody who, you know what, and it's strange because I know my aunt and uncle that raised him because his brother reached out to me. My uncle reached out to me.

SPEAKER_00 14:29

So you feel like families should have to like reach out. You know what?

SPEAKER_01 14:33

Fake it. Fake it, fake it if you have to. Fake it.

SPEAKER_00 14:38

You know it's funny, but just joke, but you know what joke? Because my dad used to say to me all the time, you do what's right, what's right. Yeah, but that's how my father raised me. Fake it. That's how my father raised me. I agree with you. I did my You do what's right, you do what's right, you do what's important.

SPEAKER_01 14:56

My closest friends that are very close to the situation and my family, or my close, my very, very close friends that I grew up with and have been around me and my family for 35 years, right? They said to me, how wrong. Like that is just horrible. Horrible. No matter what you're going through.

SPEAKER_00 15:21

Who are your batteries?

SPEAKER_01 15:23

My batteries are you, of course, or my cloth, my the ones that like rally, the ones that like are excited for you, that like share, like they just they want to be a part of what's going on. I have a whole new group of friends. I have an old group of friends. Whether I've I've moved around, I've lived all over the place, I've traveled all over the world, and I have met some of the most incredible, incredible people. And I have been able to weed out the good, the bad, and the ugly. And my batteries are the ones that I keep close to me, and they stay close, you know, they they want me to be a part of their life. I'm not, I don't hold anything.

SPEAKER_00 16:08

And sometimes batteries run out. Sometimes batteries run out. There's chapters in your life that people serve purpose. They come along, they're like your they're your support, they lift you up, thousand percent. And then all of a sudden something happens and bam, yeah, they're no longer there. Now they're a vacuum. Right.

SPEAKER_01 16:29

And then that's when I say, I'm done. And while it upsets me, and I'll get on a on a you know, like a soapbox like I am right now, I just want everybody to know, like, if you're listening to this and you think I'm talking about you, I probably am. And and and and I just want you all to know that I don't really give a anymore. What I'm trying to explain is that there are vacuums and that there are batteries, and that there are ways to be a good person, and maybe you should try to be a good person later down the road because it doesn't take much. Today, in today's society, social media is very easy and uh to communicate with people where you don't want to be face to face, you don't want to, there's no open door. I don't care. Do I har harbor some of that? Do I harbor resentment?

SPEAKER_00 17:18

You've been a like a battery or like a vacuum at any point in your life. I have been we all make mistakes. So the thing is like I have definitely been both. I've been a battery and I've also been a vacuum.

SPEAKER_01 17:31

Yeah, I've I've I have. I mean, there's people that don't want to like they want your they want you to help them, and then when you give them your advice, they don't want to listen to it. So you become a vacuum to them and their significant other, or whatever the situation is. And then, you know, that's called dead weight, you know. There's a lot of dead weight out there, and they're narcissists because they turn it around and they try to say oh that's that that person's dead weight, that person's dead weight, and you're like, wait a minute, dude, you're the dead weight. But I see what you're doing because you're manipulating, you know, and that's a narcissist. You know, I mean, there's a whole level of narcissism out there, but you know what? I could say I live a great life. I love my family, I love my friends, I love my circle. Do things change? People come in and out of our lives for different reasons. They come in at the right time, they leave at the right time. You may not think it is, but it really is. And they come in, they say.

SPEAKER_00 18:30

What do you think the best way is to get it get out of a like to get away from like a vacuum? Like if you've got a vacuum in your life, like how do you tell them or how do you cut them off? Do you not just not cut them off cold turkey? Do you give them the opportunity to become a battery again?

SPEAKER_01 18:48

Mikey G, I'm straight up. That's what this is all about. I will tell you straight up how I feel.

SPEAKER_00 18:57

Right.

SPEAKER_01 18:57

I don't put foot foot around.

SPEAKER_00 19:01

Neither do I.

SPEAKER_01 19:02

I don't, I don't care. I just say it like it is. I'm straight up.

SPEAKER_00 19:08

Straight up.

SPEAKER_01 19:09

And so I will tell you, you know what? You're a f you're, you know, like what the f is wrong with you? Or what's happening? Or I don't like what's going on here. I don't like the way I feel. I have said that. I have cut people off saying those things. Right. So I'm okay. I I am straight up. I've always been straight up. My mouth has been my, you know, is not a problem, but it's been my It's your strength and your weakness. My strength and my weakness. Yeah. Sometimes I should keep my mouth shut, and some people I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 19:40

I think being authentic is most important. You have to be your most authentic self. Like people, listen, you have to embrace your flaws and embrace your we're not on this show to fluff anybody's bullet.

SPEAKER_01 19:53

I'm not, I'm not here to do that.

SPEAKER_00 19:54

That's the extra dirty, baby.

SPEAKER_01 19:56

That is the extra dirty, and that's not what this this show is about being straight up, extra dirty. And I'm not here to blow smoke up anybody's to make everything look pretty and all this other except for my face and my hair. You know, like this is where this is where it stops, and this is where the truth comes out. And that's why, you know, it's about being authentic, it's about being real, and that's what this is all about, and that's what I'm about. And, you know, straight up. So we can just, you know, I can just keep going on and on, but I'm sure there'll be more episodes.

SPEAKER_00 20:31

I mean, we could get extra dirty.

SPEAKER_01 20:33

Oh, we could certainly get extra dirty. Oh, we're gonna get extra dirty. So if you want to hear more about this, if you want to hear more, but I don't want to be a vacuum.

SPEAKER_00 20:41

I'm gonna be a battery so let's be straight up. Absolute battery in my life. I will always be straight up with you, my girl.

SPEAKER_01 20:49

I will always be extra dirty when I can. I love you.

SPEAKER_00 20:52

I love you too. Subscribe, subscribe, and like uh YouTube, follow us on Instagram, TikTok, at straight up extra dirty, all the podcasts, Spotify, iHeartRadio, at straight up extra dirty, and Lisa Ann Marcese. And Mikey G. Make sure to tune in to our next episode. It's gonna be straight up and extra dirty. Extra dirty off the chart.