The ROCKSTAR Mom

Start here --> Why Balance is Actually Bullsh*t

• Megan Caldwell • Season 1

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Balance sounds great, but it's kept many of us stuck in a life that looks good on paper and yet feels wrong at our core. 

Megan shares the day everything changed—27 missed calls, a house fire, and a street lined with 17 trucks—and why, beneath the shock and grief, she felt a surprising calm. That steadiness wasn’t luck; it was the payoff of years of inner work, boundaries, and simple practices that protect the one ball we can’t afford to drop: our health and well-being.

We unpack why “work-life balance” sets you up to fail, and what it is you actually may want to be focusing your time and energy on instead.

You’ll learn

  • the glass-ball metaphor for prioritizing your well-being
  • the difference between time management and energy management
  • and why quick fixes never stick when stress hits

Plus, Megan breaks down the mindset traps that keep high achievers spinning (ie perfectionism, people pleasing, and all-or-nothing mindset sounds familiar, this is for you!) and offers practical swaps: micro-habits over marathons, boundary scripts over silent resentment, and consistent recovery to keep your nervous system from living in fight-or-flight.

This conversation is for anyone who wants a calmer baseline, a clearer calendar, and a life that finally matches their values. 

You’ll hear how personal care and alignment creates "the ripple effect" and why the time is NOW for you to take back your power.  

Follow the show, share this episode with a friend who needs it today, and leave a quick review so we can reach more rockstar moms. Your story might be the nudge someone else is waiting for.

We’d love to hear your feedback! Send us a text

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  • Get really clear on what it is you actually want in this season of life
  • Explore what's truly holding you back
  • Create your own personalized next steps

After leaving your five-star review between now and October 27th, 2025, just email my team at hello@megancaldwellpdx.com with a screenshot of your review and the subject line "VIP Day" for a chance to win this amazing gift.

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SPEAKER_00:

You are listening to the Rockstar Mom, a podcast for high achievers who are ready to get off of autopilot and live a life with more intention, peace of mind, and happiness. This is a space to expand, dig deep, get clear, and take action towards living your most authentic, aligned life. I'm Megan Caldwell. As a mom of three, two-time burnout survivor, and empowerment coach and speaker, I've cracked the code on what it actually takes to thrive at work and home, ditch perfectionism and people pleasing, get your schedule under control, and live with more ease. So you've got more time and energy to do the things you love without the mom guilt. It's time to get out of your head and into action. Now is the time to live your most rockstar life. Let's go. Hello, my friend. We have made it. Welcome to day one of the Rockstar Mom. I could not be more thrilled that you have chosen to join us. I'm Megan Caldwell, your host. We are going to be talking a little bit here about why balance is bullshit and what it is that you are actually really seeking after. But first, let me tell you a little bit about myself and then we will dive right in. So as a transformational coach, speaker, and facilitator, I am on this planet to inspire a ripple effect of wellness, kindness, and empowerment. That's why I'm here. I am also here because I'm on a mission to live my best, most fun life while empowering others such as yourself to do so. I truly, truly believe that when we as women learn how to prioritize our own health and well-being first, we then have the power to change the world for the better. And we all know that we need that right now, but it starts with us. It starts with giving ourselves permission to take those steps forward. In addition to the work that I do, I also am a suicide prevention and mental health advocate, faces that are very near and dear to my heart. I'm sure you'll hear more about that at another time. I also love taking selfies, sipping on matcha lattes, rocking out to pink. She is my favorite artist. She may or may not have inspired the Rockstar Mom, as I think she is one of the coolest rockst out there. And I also love, love, love chasing a good sunset. In addition, I live just outside Portland, Oregon with my husband of almost 17 years and our three school-age kiddos. As we dive into this conversation today and we kick off this amazing adventure together on the Rockstar Mom podcast, I cannot wait to share with you my own stories and strategies and also impactful conversations with other amazing guest experts, such as doctors, speakers, authors, coaches, and other amazing individuals who are just as passionate as I am about helping women like you live their best lives. I actually want to start by sharing a story. So just over a year ago, on February 24th, 2024, it was a Saturday, just like any other Saturday. We got up relatively early because my kids are early risers. My husband was leaving the house with our three children to accompany my son to one of his soccer games just over the border in Washington State. And I was packing up to get myself to a board retreat for a local nonprofit that I serve on, the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. So my husband's off with the kids. I get to the retreat, and it is amazing. I'm connecting with 10 other board members who are super passionate about helping our organization move forward in our mission, which is to save lives and to bring hope. And we're talking business planning and do other things, but during one of our first activities, we actually were making vision boards. And we are making vision boards collectively as a group as to where we wanted to see our local chapter go the year ahead. And guys, I'm a transformational coach. So this was freaking awesome. We're making vision boards, we're thinking about the mission. I brought my quote cards and we're putting quotes and pictures and all these things on the vision boards. And I was like, this is really cool. I'm gonna go grab my phone just to snap a quick video so I can share something on Instagram or give it to AFSP for their social. And that is when my life changed forever. I picked up my phone and what I saw was about 27 missed calls and a couple dozen text messages. And the one that stood out to me most was Meg, pick up your phone. Our house is on fire. In that moment, my heart stopped. And it was like, am I in a dream? Is this real? I packed up my stuff. The people there with me made sure I was okay to drive home. And I got in my car and I started about the 30-minute drive home. And as I'm driving home, I'm asking myself all of those questions that we often ask ourselves when shit gets real, when life gets hard, when we get to something that we think we can't move through is why us? Why me? What happened? Did we leave the hair straightener on? Was it something in the kitchen? Oh my goodness. In that moment, I called my neighbor, who was one of the first people to reach out. She said, Megan, it's not good. Not good. I don't think the dogs made it. My friends, on February 24th, 2024, my family and I lost our entire home, all of our personal belongings, and our beloved pets. Tragedy. Absolute tragedy. So much shock, so much grief. As I rounded the corner to turn onto our street, I saw 17 fire trucks parked outside our house. 17 fire units called from across different cities. That is how big this fire was. Though my house was quote unquote still standing, windows were blown out, smoke was seeping everywhere. And we learned later learned it was deemed a total loss. Everything, everything gone. And here's the thing in that moment of shock, of grief, of fear, I actually had a very different feeling. And it was that of everything's gonna be okay. I am okay. My family is safe. We are gonna get through. And we went into the next pieces of this in a state of peace and calm. It's pretty crazy reflecting back on it because over the next couple of months, we moved as a family of five, starting from scratch. Literally, I had friends buying me bras and toothbrushes and pajamas, sneakers, backpacks for the kids. We moved nine times in those first couple months between hotels, friends' places, a short-term rental, and finally into a long-term rental. And it was crazy. And it was crazy. And something that stood out to me that several people within my close network shared with me, as well as some people in the greater community at large who really stepped up during this challenging time in our life, was Megan, you've just been so calm throughout this entire process. And I really took that in because I was. At no point did I feel truly panicked. Did I feel like I needed to cave in? Did I feel like I was having a mental break? Throughout this entire journey over this last year, I truly understood that all the work I had put in over the last eight or 10 years in my own personal wellness and personal development journey was for moments like this. And it completely transformed into the work that I do, coaching women like you. Yes, I've coached women into how do we have more patience when we're transitioning from being at work to now being full-time mom mode? And how do we meal prep and plan? And yes, some of that is still part of the work that I do. But the work that I really do now is so we can have the resiliency, the strength, the confidence, the know-how to truly take care of ourselves for when life lifes us, for when something crazy like this happens. And I think back to again, eight or 10 years ago, before I've done all this work myself and find these ways that allow us to be successful and truly care for our own mental health, physical health, emotional well-being, is that eight or 10 years ago, I don't know how I would have done in this situation. I really don't know. I'm assuming my family and I would have gotten through, but it would have been with a lot more stress. I don't know if my relationship would have succeeded through it. And it was because I was in a state of constant overwhelm, constant exhaustion. In fact, I think back to again eight or 10 years ago when I was just on the verge of my second round of burnout. I was own and operating a fitness franchise. And I was in that base for nearly nine years. And it was one of the best seasons of my life as I was connecting women, I was sharing with women physical fitness and how to actually care for our physical physical bodies. And one week in particular made me really truly recognize that this whole concept of balance, something that I was chasing, was completely bullshit. In one week alone, I'm at these stroller-based fitness classes. So picture, some of you guys have been there, I'm sure. Picture dozens of moms with their strollers pushing their small kids or their babies. And I had three individuals unprompted in the same week come up to me and say something along the lines of Megan, how do you do it? Like you've got this thriving nationally recognized business, you've got three beautiful children, you've got a relationship, you just got it all. You do it all. And my response, I'd smile and I'd nod. Because on the outside, it looked like I had my shit together. I'd check the boxes, I'd built this big business, I had gotten married, I had had kids, but on the inside, I was at one of the lowest lows in my life. I felt so misaligned. I constantly, like so many of you, were can have been conditioned to chase ambition, to value my worth based on productivity and checking boxes and success, to seek out when we become mothers or when we're juggling different areas of our life to find this thing called balance. And here's the thing, my friend, this concept of balance, I truly believe is bullshit. It is unattainable. It is something that we have been conditioned to search for, to seek after, to go towards, but it doesn't exist. Fun fact, in my first career, I was actually a high school special education math teacher in South Central Los Angeles. I'll let you take a moment to put that all together. Amazing, amazing season in my life. Okay. But basically, I was teaching students with special needs how to balance equations in the algebra classroom. When we think about balance, we think about two things being equal. Does A equal B? If not, how do I get that? And that's what so many of us have been striving for is how do I pour in equal energy into my work and into my home? How do I show up fully for my kids and for my spouse? And we think that we can continue to grind and push in all those areas, pushing for equal, pushing for sameness, thinking that that's going to help us solve and figure it out. But in reality, it just starts to burn us down because we are striving for perfection often. Can anybody relate any other high achievers type A out there? Maybe recovering perfectionists, we can say balance is like perfection. All right. And that it is something, perfection is something we are never going to attain either. But, anyways, I share this story back to again my big unlock in terms of I went through this major life event of house fire, calm, collected, knowing the next steps, knowing how to take care of myself. I recall it was probably day two in the hotel. And I was up one morning downstairs walking on the treadmill. Some people might think I was crazy, but I was like, I know my body well enough to know that exercise is one of the best releases. So I found myself there. And I actually didn't have a choice. It's what I needed deep down. So you might be asking, but balance, like I say I want a balanced life. I'm not saying don't use the word balance ever, but when it comes to this concept of work-life balance or finding balance between, again, the different roles that we play, it's actually not about balance, my friends. It is about alignment. It is about feeling that true sense of harmony amidst the roles that you play. So again, when I think of balance, it's like we are trying to balance and hold up all of these different pieces. I'd love to invite you to think about this more of like a juggle. So think of all of those roles that you play. Maybe of wife, of mother, of either business owner or colleague, you're a daughter, you're a community member, your friend, you're the chauffeur, you're the chef. We have all these roles we play. Let each one of these roles be a ball. And our goal is to do a juggle. And the juggle sometimes is fast, the juggle sometimes is slow. The thing is, sometimes we keep all those balls in the air with very little effort. Other times balls are gonna drop. Good news is most of those balls are gonna bounce. Most of them. Sometimes the ball might drop and bounce and roll away. And you might actually recognize that ball doesn't need to be in your court anymore. It doesn't need to be part of your life. But I would argue that one of those balls that we are looking to juggle to keep in the air to help us find more of a sense of alignment, the one ball that we must keep a top priority, but oftentimes so many women, probably you, I've been there, have put it on the back burner is that of our own health and well-being. If all of those other balls are made of rubber, our health and well-being is a ball that's made of glass. We know if we let that drop, what happens? It leads us to burnout, it leads us to mental health challenges, it leads us to physical ailments. We all know these to be true. So, my friend, are you ready to move past balance and into a space of how we find alignment, how we learn to keep the most important ball in the air? I think you're ready for it. You showed up here for the rock star mom, and we are taking gonna help you take action and steps forward to getting towards that space where you truly feel like a rock star. You find more of a sense of fulfillment, more happiness. You learn to ditch overwhelm, ditch perfectionism, ditch people pleasing. It is possible. I know it is because I lived that life right now. And now I have the privilege and I feel so fortunate to be in work that I'm so passionate about to help others like you guide others like you into a life where you truly feel a sense of alignment. So what's going on in the inside matches what you're doing on the outside. I recently had the opportunity to be on a friend's podcast and she asked me a question, which I love. She said, Megan, what does it actually mean to be a rock star mom? To be a rock star mom is to have that sense of alignment. So the inside and the outside match. If you think about it in terms of an actual rock star, somebody on stage, right? They have so much discipline, so much patience, so much inner confidence. But we don't always see that, right? But what we do see is their output. They are impacting lives, they are sharing messages, they are having fun while doing so. So as I invite you into living your best, most fulfilled rock star life, I invite you into change. I invite you to give yourself permission to figure out what it takes. And that's why we're here to help you. What do you need to do as an individual to help yourself get that sense of peace and calm on the inside? So no matter what is going on in the outside world, yes, there's gonna be stressors at your job or with your kids, or even again, the greater world, we're here in 2025, kind of crazy times. But how do we live within this space, but still fully be able to show show up without feeling like we're gonna burn out? How do we show up with more of a sense of control over our own time, of our own energy? That's what we're gonna be talking about. Talk for a minute, though, about what might actually be holding you back. Because I think oftentimes as high achievers, we often think, well, I know what I should be doing. I know I need more sleep. I should be eating better. I know exercise is key, right? I know relationships. And yet we have such a hard time doing it. We have such a hard time making change. I want you to know you're not alone. Our brains are wired and conditioned to constantly keep us safe. So even when we know that we want change and we want things to be different, and different is probably gonna be better and give us that feeling or give us those results that we want. It doesn't mean that it's easy. It can be simple, right? But it doesn't mean that it's easy. And oftentimes we are also looking for that quick fix. What's the magic pill? What is the program? What is the thing that I should be doing that's gonna allow me to solve this once and for all? So we don't repeat these cycles of burnout. So we don't feel like we are constantly on this hamster wheel and not sure how to get off. And then sometimes we go to those quick fixes of the 14-day thing or the 30-day thing, or we think that finding the perfect planner or the perfect app is gonna allow us to be organized enough and have enough control so we can feel less of a sense of overwhelm and more of a sense of control and peace and calm. It's not about a quick fix, my friend. It's about a journey. And I'm inviting you to step into that journey over this event. Also ties to something that so many of us high achievers struggle from, which has served us for many, many years, which is perfectionism. Going along with perfectionism and working towards ideals and setting the goal, hitting the goal, and then constantly feeling like we need to hit it far hit and raise the bar and rise farther. We have been conditioned to put our vision of success to be perfectionism. You have a chance, though, here to redefine what success looks like for you. You have a chance here to jump off the hamster wheel and leave and start to work away from leaving this all or nothing mindset. I hear it every day in client calls, this black or white thinking. Either I'm gonna get my exercise in, my hour workout in, or I'm just not gonna do anything at all. I know you've been there before. I'm sure you can come up with many examples, right? This all or nothing perfectionist mindset is holding us back. So it is about mindset shifts alongside behavioral changes, alongside truly knowing yourself, we have to know our nervous system. We have to know how our body operates. Another thing that often holds us back is we as women have been conditioned to be people pleasers, to always put other people first. I want you to know you're not alone in this. And I want to also invite you and give yourself permission to take your power back, to reclaim yourself again, to feel like your best, you can put yourself first. In fact, that's how it's gonna be, how you can best show up for those around you. But no, my kids need me, or this work project really needs to get done. Okay, but until you are truly operating at your best, the world is only getting some of you. I love the quote: when you prioritize you, the world gets the best of you. It's so true. It's so true. And this whole concept of people pleasing and feeling bad, it's real. Guilt and shame are real human emotions. And I'm not saying we have to get rid of them. But I love the analogy that Dr. Pooja Lakshman uses in her book Real Self-Care, which is a great read if you haven't read it. This concept of guilt, and she compares it to a faulty check engine light. We've probably been there before, where it's like the check engine light is supposed to come on when you need to go into the dealership and get your service, your car serviced. But a faulty check engine light is one that like either blinks or stays on constantly. Um, and it's not really doing its job right. She compares guilt to this, and that here's what she says is she says, you can continue to put your energy on that faulty check engine light and it's gonna bug you every single time it's there. Or you can learn to acknowledge and recognize the faulty check engine light, the guilt, it's going to be part of life, but we have the choice if we put our time and energies there. We can shift it elsewhere to where we can be doing things, setting boundaries, taking care of ourselves without so much guilt tied to it. Another thing often holding you back, and I think I mentioned this briefly, is that oftentimes we think we should be able to do it and that we should be able to do it alone. All right. We naturally as humans are social creatures. All right. And even though we know how to do things, it doesn't mean that it's always easy to do it. So oftentimes we just close our mouths, we suffer in silence, and we just try to plow through as we think that that's gonna, that's gonna get us somewhere. But my friend, let's be real. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results. If you've tried it on your own over and over again, if you've tried those quick fixes over and over again, if you've tried every single planner that's on the that's on the market and it's not working for you, we need to do it differently. And sometimes that differently means not doing it alone. Maybe it's through a program or through hiring a coach, maybe it is seeking out therapy, maybe it's shifting your relationships and who you're spending time with. I do know for a fact, though, when we what one of the biggest things, um, I guess complaints or challenges that I know that women have who do so much and pour so much into so many different areas, is that there's never enough time. We do have some sessions in this Rockstar Mom where we are going to talk specifically about time management, but I do know for a fact from my own experience as well as the hundreds of women that I've coached, it's not just about time management. It is also about, and maybe even more importantly, energy management. Where are we putting our time? Where are we putting our energy? How can we continue to fuel and fill our cups rather than deplete, deplete, deplete? There's also a lot of talk out there about habit building. And yes, I am a specialist in this area. And again, it is only one piece of the puzzle. That's why I've created my Rockstar framework when I work with women like you, because there's these different pieces that add up to allowing you to find long-term sustainable change. Because I know that's what you're craving. You don't want just the next 30-day program. You don't want to just listen to the podcast and say, well, that was great. You want to take action. And I want you to take action because I know when you take care of yourself, when you truly feel in harmony, mind, body, and soul, when you can bring down the stress levels. So your baseline is more at a typical level. So you're not constantly in fight or flight, amazing things happen. One, not only are you going to feel better in both your physical body, but also your mental and emotional states. But you have this power of what I call the ripple effect. When we care for ourselves, it ripples out into our families, into our communities, into the work that we do for the better. And that's what our world needs right now. I'm thinking about a client. She's a mom of two younger kids, and she's also a leader at the school that she's at. She's a principal, in fact. And just a couple months into coaching, she's like, Megan, I just can't believe this shift that I've had and that I've seen. She's relatively new in the role that she is in her position at school. And she said, you know, I was trying to think about like how I needed to follow the old principal's ways of doing things and grinding and pushing towards results. She's like, but that doesn't feel good to me. I want to instill in my community and with my staff more of this sense of better work-life harmony. And so she started doing things like that. And what did she see? It rippled out into how her staff was reacting and responding. They were then being able to say yes to themselves, to put themselves first, to take a day off if they need. We are leaders, my friend. You are a leader. You are a rock star. And you are the number one leader in your life. So my question for you is: are you ready to be that true leader of you? I know you can lead your family. I know you are an awesome mom. I know that you are a leader in either your business or whatever other roles that you have outside of your house. And heck, you do a great job because you know how to do it and do it well. My question for you is, are you ready to truly be a leader of your own life? To be a true rock star, to ditch this concept of balance, to ditch people pleasing and perfectionism and step into a life where you truly feel awesome. So, my friend, as we kick off this amazing space together, I want to tell you that now is the time. There's no more waiting. I cannot wait to share stories from my own experience, strategies I teach and guide my clients on, and bring on other amazing guest experts who want you to succeed. Now is the time to say yes to you. Now is the time to give yourself permission. Now is the time to take small steps forward to diving into your most rock star life. Welcome, welcome, welcome. I'm here for it and I am cheering you on always. As we kick off this amazing community together, as a special thank you for leaving a review, you can be entered to win a half-day VIP day with yours truly. A thousand dollar value where together you will leave feeling really clear on what it is you actually want in this season of life. Explore what's holding you back and create your own personalized next steps. After leaving your five-star review between now and October 27th, just email my team at hello at Megancultal PBX.com with a screenshot of your review and the subject line VIP Day for a chance to win this amazing gift. Thanks again for joining me today. And remember, it's time to take back your power, step into your truest self, and live your most fun, rock star filled life. Cheering you on always. See you soon.