Why most new year’s goals FAIL (and what to do instead in 2026)

Ready to stop ghosting your goals by mid-February? We’re ditching rigid resolutions for a more honest, sustainable way to create change....one that works on busy days, sick days, travel days, and all the messy moments in between. In this episode Megan shares a simple framework that turns pressure into progress by anchoring a clear vision, choosing identity-based intentions, and breaking goals down into tiny, repeatable steps you can actually keep.

In this episode we cover:

• The number one reason why new year's resolutions and goals often fail
• Why Megan dislikes the word "resolution" and what to use instead
• A top down approach to anchoring your goals in a clear vision
• Best ways to set and take steps towards your goals
• The power of accountability

If you’re a high achiever tired of all-or-nothing thinking, this conversation will help you make goals that stick and a life that feels aligned. Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs a softer start, and leave a quick review—what tiny win will you claim this week?

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Transcript

Welcome & Real Talk On Timing

SPEAKER_00 0:00

You are listening to the Rockstar Mom, a podcast for high achievers who are ready to get off of autopilot and live a life with more intention, peace of mind, and happiness. This is a space to expand, dig deep, get clear, and take action towards living your most authentic, aligned life. I'm Megan Caldwell. As a mom of three, two-time burnout survivor, and empowerment coach and speaker, I've cracked the code on what it actually takes to thrive at work and home, ditch perfectionism and people pleasing, get your schedule under control, and live with more ease. So you've got more time and energy to do the things you love without the mom guilt. It's time to get out of your head and into action. Now is the time to live your most rock star life. Let's go. Welcome back, my friends. Before I dive in today, I just want a little bit of real talk. I meant to record this episode several weeks ago for you, so you had it before the new year. And here we are, the start of January, and I'm just getting it done. So I'm going to be practicing what I preach, which is just giving myself a little bit of grace, knowing that it is okay, and knowing those that need to hear this are getting it when they need it. So I'm really excited today to talk about a topic that I love. I've spoken to many different places. My clients and I talk about this all the time, and it's really about goal setting. And I bring this to you today because it is the start of 2026, and there's so much buzz going on in the world and social media about setting your New Year's resolutions and goals and all those things. And today we're going to be breaking some of that down. I'm going to be sharing with you one, not only why most New Year's resolutions fail, but also why I really, really dislike the word resolution and what I choose to use instead. I'm also going to be sharing with you the one step that most women I see time and time again miss. They just don't even do it when it comes to goal setting. And it's so important, whether it's for your New Year's goals and resolutions or whether it's goals that you set at any point during your life. And then I'm going to share some specific next steps in terms of how to help you actually set really meaningful goals and then take those next steps to actually meeting them. So let's start by talking about why New Year's resolutions fail for most people. You know it, you've done it before, probably. I know I have, where we set this really big intention at the start of the year. And then a couple weeks in, by the end of January, mid-February, it's like we already forget what we had set our resolution to be. Most resolutions fail because they're too big and too what I call all or nothing. The problem isn't willpower. Again, when we set goals out of motivation alone, oftentimes we'll set them and we have unrealistic expectations. So, for example, like this whole example of, I mean, you see it in the marketing every single year, like sign up for our gym membership, get two months for the price of one, da-da-da-da-da. And people will say, Awesome, I'm gonna take this deal and now I'm gonna start going to the gym five days a week. The problem is if you've been going zero up to this point, can you muster it out and we'll power your way through? You can for some time, but then the problem is what happens when real life happens, when you get sick, when you have your work trip, when things don't go perfectly according to plan, is we have set goals that are too big and oftentimes unrealistic. They don't fit into our current lifestyle and we go too hard too fast. It really is this challenge that I see with high achieving women like you, time and time again, is this all or nothing mindset. It really leads to, you know, if I miss one day of this, then I'm just gonna quit entirely. I just can't do this. Instead, I really encourage you to think about rather than this big concept of resolution is really thinking about baseline and what is some of the smallest version of success that you can have. I love this idea of like, even on your worst day, what is the smallest win that you could still achieve? So maybe it isn't about in this season of life getting to the gym five days a week, but on any given day, I can still get in a five-minute walk or some wall push-ups and squats between calls, and that counts. Consistency beats intensity every single time when it comes to setting these goals. Again, whether they are New Year's resolutions or whether they are goals that you are setting out at other points in your life. The second thing I want to talk about is this concept that words really matter. And I really actually dislike this word resolution. I'm gonna share with you in a second what I prefer to use instead. But words really do matter more than we think. In fact, if you think about it and think about our reality and in the life that you live, our lives are made up of the stories that we tell ourselves. And so the words that we choose to use are going to matter over and over again. One of my favorite examples is I need to go to the gym versus I want to go to the gym. Even just like hearing the swap out of the word need and want is so powerful in terms of the energy that it brings into that space. So when we talk about this whole word resolution, it really implies that something is finite or rigid. Either you're gonna pass it or you're gonna fail it. And again, that whole gym example, I think, is such a good one. And again, can be so relatable to so many because it's either I go to the gym five days a week or I don't. Whereas I really encourage you to think about what are other ways that we can think about making progress forward that aren't so black or white, that aren't so all or nothing. And I really like the word personally, intention, or also identity-based goals, as this allows room for real life for the season that you're in, for when setbacks occur, is we have intentions that we're putting out there, and it doesn't mean that we're gonna be perfect at them. So when life gets busy with work or kids or stress, we're not relying on these rigid resolutions because they are oftentimes the first things to make, break, rather. It is if they are too hard or too strict or too rigid or too all or nothing, we're destined to fail. And that's why, I mean, it's something like I don't have the stats on me, but it's something like over 95% of New Year's resolutions aren't stuck to, or something like that. It's it's kind of crazy. And so what we can do to really shift this are a couple things. And I just walked through some of my coaching clients in our Rockstar Life Group coaching community just recently about again, it's not about these big resolutions. And in fact, as we are here in January, we're actually in the middle of winter where just the natural cycles of nature, we are still in that wintering season, that letting go season, that kind of slowing down season. And so, you know, January one as a start is just so arbitrary. Really, we shouldn't try to force things here, but that's a whole nother story. But I like to really think about again, goal setting and intention setting by framing this slightly differently. So we talked about again, resolution, kind of all or nothing, black or white, oftentimes too big. I like to think of it as kind of a top-down funnel, where at the very, very top, the first thing that you need to think about when it comes to goal setting is your actual vision, your greater vision of what you truly want this year, but also in your life. What are you working towards? Who are you looking to become? The vision is really about the life that you're building in terms of your identity and your lifestyle. Once you've got that nailed down, then you can start to think about what I call, and I love the word intentions. Again, so many women I work with are really looking to live more intentional lives. So this word intention is just so powerful. And intention is really how are you choosing to show up while you're working towards this vision that you so desire. So, again, our vision, once we have that set, we can then start to make intentions as to how we want to show up. And again, both visions and intentions should be value aligned, aligned with who you are wanting to become. And once we have our vision and intentions, then we can set kind of more of these goals. And these goals are these mile markers, they're not the final destination. Again, because if we think about this, again, bird's eye view, step out. Life is a journey, my friend. It's not a, I'm gonna hit the end result and then hit the, then set the next goal and then hit it again. It's about constant evolution and constant change and constant progress. So goals are what you do, intentions are how you do them, but the vision is who you are becoming while you are doing these things. And that vision piece is really at the core of what I teach in my programs called the Rockstar Foundation, is helping women like you get really, really clear on our priorities, values, and vision, because we need that in order to guide some of this longer-term lifestyle change that we desire. So we live lives where we feel better with more peace of mind, more energy, and feel like a true rock star. So now that I've kind of broken down and shared with you my thoughts on resolutions and the words and pieces I choose to use instead in terms of vision, intentions, and goals, there is one thing that I see time and time again, and I was guilty of this for years, that again, we get really excited, have that motivation. There's this whole concept of the fresh start theory that Katie Milkman coined in her work and research. And it's basically at the start of a new year, at the start of a new month, when you have a birthday, these are fresh starts and it builds kind of heightened excitement and motivation. And while that motivation is great, again, motivation comes and goes. We cannot rely on motivation or willpower. So the one step that most women are missing when it comes to actually setting goals, whether it be in these times of motivation or whether you're being forced to, I don't know if you're ever being forced to set goals, but is this whole concept of reflecting back. Reflecting back on the past year, the past month, the past six months, whatever it might be, is so powerful. As when we take a look at the progress that we've made, at the challenges that we've had, this becomes data. And this can now help guide us into where we want to be going versus just kind of like throwing spaghetti at the wall and saying, Oh, it's a new year. I want to blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Okay. Here are a couple of questions that you can ask yourself as you reflect back on the past year. What are you most proud of from 2025? Maybe especially those moments that no one else saw, the things that just truly make you feel proud. In what ways did you grow? Maybe ways that you didn't expect, maybe ones that you did have intentions about and you did expect. What did 2025 teach you about your capacity, your boundaries, or maybe even resilience? Looking back at the past year, what are you ready to release or leave behind? Again, if we can identify the things that no longer serve us, that we can say that actually was a hindrance or that didn't feel good to me, that can help us again guide the intentions and goals that we want for the upcoming year. As well as what do you want to carry forward because it truly served you? One of my favorite exercises when it comes back to reflection on the past year is something that I got from the amazing Mel Robbins, which is basically take out your camera or take out your calendar and go through month by month and identify and write down and reflect upon the things that you are proud of, the successes, the wins, but also the challenges and the learning moments and go through month by month because it's always so fascinating to just look back on and see all that you did do, all that you did accomplish, all of the obstacles that you did overcome. So, again, if you take even just five or 10 minutes to reflect back on the past year, that is going to give you some good information to then allow you to set really truly meaningful goals as you come into the new year. The fourth tip, now that you have this understanding of again, greater vision, intentions, and then into goals, is you want these goals to be really, really specific and really small on the very next steps. This is how you are going to go ahead then and measure progress, is by having these like minuscule, tiny goals that then you can take on, tackle, achieve, feel progress, and then kind of set the next step forward. It's just like looking at a staircase. It's like we don't jump to the top of the staircase. We take these small steps upward to help us get to where we're looking to go. Again, the top of the staircase is going to be that greater vision. The cool thing about life is as you get partway up the staircase, what happens to the staircase? It actually expands. There is no end. We are on this constant journey. One of my favorite quotes is a goal without a plan is just a wish. So once you come up with some of these smaller goals, you then want to break it down into the smallest, smallest MVA, most minimal viable action, the smallest step that you can take. So, for example, if we use this example of fitness and movement, because it's often so common for so many in the new year, is the very, very first step if you are trying to get in more movement or trying to get to the gym the next day, is maybe just to lay out your clothes. I want you to think about breaking down your individual goals into these small steps because that's going to allow you to feel like it's more achievable. That's gonna allow your brain and body to feel and see and sense progress so you can continue taking those steps forward. The last tip is that there is no shame in the need for accountability. Okay, we as humans are social beings. So this whole concept of social accountability, I 100% recommend. Yes, the ultimate goal is personal responsibility and accountability to self, but especially when we are trying to initiate change. And you've heard me probably say time and again that change is hard because our brains are literally wired to fight the change, even when we know the change is good. So sometimes we need that external accountability, and that is okay. So maybe it's asking a friend, maybe it's finding an accountability buddy, maybe it is joining a gym or some other type of community group, all right, that has similar shared vision or goals. Maybe it is hiring a coach to help guide you through or being part of some type of coaching community. Don't be ashamed or fearful of that need or desire for accountability. I think, especially as high achievers, we often feel like we quote, should be able to do it on our own. Yes, maybe we can do it on our own, but it's so much easier and so much more fun when we can lean into support and know that we are not alone in this journey. So, as a quick recap in terms of these five tips to help you stick to and keep and really make progress forward as you think about your goals and resolutions as you come into the new year, is one, a friendly reminder that don't make it too big, because that's oftentimes why most resolutions and goals fail. Two, I invite you to get really curious about what words make sense for you. I actually recently did a poll on my Instagram account in terms of what people, what what resonated with people when it came to New Year's goals, resolutions, intentions, et cetera. And it was interesting. Most people in my audience really leaned towards either intentions or goals. A couple people really like the term habits. Very few people were about this resolution. Maybe you're on the same page with me. It really is kind of that all or nothing mindset, the resolution, the finite. So just be mindful of your words. The third was we talked about how powerful the reflection piece of the goal setting process can be. I gave you some examples in terms of how you can actually go about that. And then next, you want to get really, really specific on those small goals or steps. One thing I think I failed to mention is we want to make sure that these goals that we do choose, these intentions that we do choose, again, they link to your greater vision. They link to your greater why. When we are able to connect them to our bigger picture, we are more likely to follow through versus just doing the thing because we need to check the box or we think we should. We really want to have deeper meaning and connection to the changes that we are looking to make. And then the last tip, again, was don't go at this alone. Lean into support, find an accountability buddy, reach out to a coach. Know that we as humans and those 1% of us that do choose to really go deep into personal development work, it's so much more fun and so much easier to do in community. So, lastly, if you want your goals to stick this year, I want you to really think about keeping it simple. Oftentimes we just totally overcomplicate things. Choose one or two things to start with. Focus really on who you are becoming, how you want to show up, what values you want to lead by. And then let small steps and consistency really do that heavy lifting and help guide you forward. So, my friend, I would love if you're interested, feel free to share with me what are your goals, what are your intentions, what are your resolutions, whatever you call them for 2026, and know that I am here cheering you on. Make it a great day. We'll connect soon. Thank you so much for tuning into the Rockstar Mom podcast. If today's episode resonated with you, here's how we can keep this momentum going. First, be sure to subscribe to the show so you never miss an episode. Next, I'd be so grateful if you took a moment to leave a five-star review on Apple Podcasts. Your feedback helps us reach even more women who are ready to live more intentional, fun-filled lives. Lastly, please share your insights on social media and be sure to tag me at Megan Caldwell PDX so we can connect and inspire other rock stars to live their best lives too. Again, I am so glad that you are here, and I'll see you next time.