EP 21 | Style Is Self-Care: Reclaiming Confidence Through What You Wear with Judith Gaton

What if your closet could help you feel like yourself again? We sit down with lawyer and style coach Judith Gaton to unpack a simple truth: style is an inside job. When your inner voice is kind, the right clothes become easy; when it’s critical, even a perfect outfit falls flat. Together we map a practical path from overwhelm to alignment and how your own personal style and wardrobe plays into this.

Judith shares a powerful reset for your feed and your mind: clean up your visual diet. When you follow people of different sizes, ages, skin tones, hair textures, and styles, your brain stops chasing a single “ideal” and starts embracing what actually lights you up. From there, we go ultra-tactical for busy moms: begin with the underwear drawer. Yup, that's right!

So many takeaways in this powerful conversation, we hope you enjoy it!

If this conversation helped you see style as self-respect, do us a favor: subscribe, leave a five-star review on Apple Podcasts, and share this episode with a friend who’s ready to show up like she belongs—because she does.

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The ROCKSTAR Mom Summit (Season 3) is now LIVE! 

25+ expert interviews on a variety of topics I know you are going to love, thousands of dollars of amazing gifts, extended listening time – all for FREE! You’re going to love it! 

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Transcript

Welcome And Show Purpose

SPEAKER_00 1:56

You are listening to the Rockstar Mom, a podcast for high achievers who are ready to get off of autopilot and live a life with more intention, peace of mind, and happiness. This is a space to expand, dig deep, get clear, and take action towards living your most authentic, aligned life. I'm Megan Caldwell. As a mom of three, two-time burnout survivor, and empowerment coach and speaker, I've cracked the code on what it actually takes to thrive at work and home, ditch perfectionism and people pleasing, get your schedule under control, and live with more ease. So you've got more time and energy to do the things you love without the mom guilt. It's time to get out of your head and into action. Now is the time to live your most rock star life. Let's go. Hello, rockstar. I am so excited to share today's conversation for many, many reasons. But one of the main reasons is because of the effect and power that I personally have felt and found when it comes to figuring out your own personal style and brand. After years in the fitness industry and wearing sports bras and tights and cute little tank tops every single day, when I re-entered into the real world, I found this just whole evolution of me trying to figure out how do I express myself? What do I wear that makes me feel, quote, official or professional enough, and what makes me ultimately feel good? And that's why this conversation that I had with Judith Gaetan as part of the Rockstar Mom Summit season two was just so powerful and so enjoyable for me. It also has been this whole concept of what you wear has been a conversation I've had with dozens and dozens of clients, as there is something so powerful about choosing how you show up. So, in this conversation with Judith, we're gonna be talking about why Judith actually believes that style is an inside job and how we can reframe style as an act of self-respect and empowerment, not just vanity. We're gonna talk some about self-acceptance and body image, how to break free from the guilt that oftentimes we as moms and women have in terms of investing in ourselves, which includes investing in our wardrobe. And she also brings up this whole concept of cleaning up your visual diet. And so I am just so excited, again, on so many levels, to share this conversation with Judith. I really hope that you enjoy it. Welcome back, my friends. I know that you're gonna absolutely love this conversation that I'm having today as we are talking about the intersection of confidence with style and what we wear and how we choose to present ourselves. And to join me in this conversation, I've got Judith Gatan. She's a lawyer, a certified life coach, and a style expert who helps professional women ditch the mom guilt, upgrade their wardrobes, and feel like themselves again, only dressed better. As both an attorney and the founder of Maison Gatan, she combines brains, beauty, and a dash of wit to help women lead with confidence and grace. After years in law, Judith realized that so many brilliant women were hiding behind, quote, good enough clothes and over-stuffed calendars. Now she teaches them how to curate a wardrobe that fits their style, reclaim their time, and walk into any room like they belong there. Because they do. Through her programs, podcasts, and events, Judith reminds working moms that style isn't superficial, it's strategic self-care. Her motto, when you look good, you feel unstoppable. And when you feel unstoppable, you can handle anything, including carpool. Judith, I am so thrilled to have you here on The Rockstar Mom. Thank you so much for having me. And I'm glad you read the bio, but also like, dang, okay, all right. I guess let's do this. That's right. It's one of my favorite part of these interviews, is actually having our speakers hear the freaking awesomeness that you bring to the table. And I'm so excited that you are willing to do this and share some of your expertise and your knowledge and your insight and your know-how in terms of building confidence, because I know that can be one of the most challenging things for women in our society. Let me start by asking you why, like, why style to accompany being a freaking kick-ass attorney? Like, what got you into this space of really wanting to support women?

SPEAKER_01 6:25

Yeah. So it's interesting. I originally went to school to be a fashion designer. So if any of my peeps out there used to be a creative and then ended up in a corporate job, I see you, I feel you, I am you. And when I went to school, I actually went to an all women's school. So I was surrounded by women and it was an incredible experience. And then somewhere along the way, I realized, oh, maybe that's going to be harder to be a fashion designer than it would be to be a lawyer. And I'm really smart. So I, yeah, right. That makes no sense now. But my 20-something-year-old self, her prefrontal cortex, was not fully formed. So she thought it's a great idea to go be a lawyer. And the interesting thing is the longer I was a lawyer, the more I realized, oh, wait, we still actually need this style stuff. Like we're not brains floating around absent from our bodies. Actually, we still inhabit bodies that have to be clothed. We still have to make an impression on our peers, our colleagues, those who have decision-making power that we have to deal with. Oh, wait, actually, this is way more important than I thought. And it's actually not so easy for the smart cookies and for the professionals and the like achievers. And then add to that, if you're a mom and you have little humans you have to care for, like all the layers of that. And the more conversations I had with women in the courtroom, and they'd be like, Well, what are you wearing? That looks really comfortable. That's really cute. I didn't know we could wear color. Well, why couldn't you know we could wear color? Right, right. And then one day I had a mishap in a dressing room where I couldn't get a dress off. Oh my goodness. And got stuck. And I put on Facebook, had anyone else had this happen to them? And then all these women started pouring out these like amazing, also frustrating and super relatable stories about horror stories of the dressing room and bad lighting or things that got stuck, or being humiliated by, you know, people who are serving them or supposed to be serving them. And out of that came like, oh wait, this is something I actually uniquely can help with because I am a lawyer and also I have this other whole other thing I did where I have a minor in fashion design. And I also really love encouraging and helping women, and this is a way I can actually do that. So that's how this weird thing that I do sort of came into being.

SPEAKER_00 8:44

I love this. And I love that this is just showcasing how multiple things can exist. I think that oftentimes high achievers get so siloed into the one thing or climbing the ladder or doing the thing or checking the boxes. And here you are, a living and breathing example of how you can be a freaking high achieving, successful lawyer, and also find a way to weave in creativity and change and confidence. And that's really, really cool. So let's go here. So I know that you've shared with me before that you really feel that style is actually an inside job. Can you share a little bit about what you mean by that?

SPEAKER_01 9:20

Yeah, so my definition of style, which is different from fashion, because I think sometimes they get conflated with each other and they're not quite the same thing. So I like to give this analogy. I would like you to think of fashion sort of the circus parade that's going on by, and you are in the cafe hanging out with yourself, and you and style are having a chat, and we're watching the circus parade feathers, sequence, and we get to kind of giggle at it and watch it, maybe sometimes dabble with some sequence if you want to. But style is between you and yourself. And ultimately, style is the outward reflection of how you think and feel about yourself. That's why it's an inside job. Because we could slap the cutest outfit on you in the entire world, and it won't make any difference if you don't like what you see in the mirror, if your thoughts about yourself are quite terrible, and therefore how you feel about yourself is quite terrible. It's hard to show up in the spaces that you need to and to do the things that you need to do in the world if ultimately the background hum are thoughts and feelings that are not quite great. And that also, of course, is going to affect what you choose to put on your body or not choose to put on your body when you get ready.

From Outfit Regret To Authentic Confidence

SPEAKER_00 10:28

Oh, that's so fascinating and so powerful. I immediately had a flashback to 2018 where I spent hours upon hours trying to figure out what I was gonna wear onto stage as I was getting ready to accept an award. And after hours of trying to figure it out, I came up with this like tropical, I was gonna say onesie. It wasn't a onesie, but jumpsuit y type thing. And I decided to put this hat on because it like looked cute. I felt so not myself and so disconnected. And I've shared this story before, but when I stepped on stage to receive this award, this something I had been working towards, I literally thought, like, is this all? Like, this is what I've been working for. And that was the start of my own personal development journey where I recognized, despite the awards and the accolades and putting on the cute outfit that I spent hours trying to put together, the inside wasn't there. Right. And so I love that you share that. Just and I'm sure that so many of our listeners can relate where it's like, oh, here's the trend. And so I'm gonna get the trend, and then we still don't feel whatever in it. We're still criticizing our bodies or we're not feeling comfortable. And so I love that you give that definition and that example that as we do some of the deeper inner work, it allows us to actually like show our style more on the outside. So we have the confidence to wear whatever the heck we want.

SPEAKER_01 11:50

Yeah, because the whole goal of all of this, and thank you for sharing your story because I think I call it ass on fire shopping. And pardon me, if we're not supposed to curse, I will really curse all day long.

SPEAKER_00 12:00

I curse all day long. We good here.

SPEAKER_01 12:02

But like ass on fire shopping, like you have this thing you've been working hard for, you know, this big presentation, a speaking engagement, accepting an award. And most high achievers, this is gonna be something you're going to come off against because you're you, just being you. And I think it's a travesty when this ass on fire shopping happens, like right before the event, you know, you need something. And instead of thinking about this huge accomplishment and how wonderful it is, and all the hard work you've done, and like what you're gonna say to help encourage your peers or any number of other, and I'm gonna say ear quotes, important things, you're fixated on your clothing, and then you end up with a result that doesn't feel like you. I just, ah, oh, that's so heartbreaking.

SPEAKER_00 12:43

And I juxtaposed opposed with just last week, I got to speak at a conference in Voisey, and it was a whole different experience for me where I have been through my own fashion journey and really found things that are like uniquely me. And I wore this denim jumpsuit by actually a local designer here in Portland, and I decided I wanted to go with a bright yellow belt because I just love it and I love energy and it's one of my brand colors. And I freaking felt good. And so when I stepped on that stage last week, it was like, wow, talk about a 180. And here we are now talking about these transformations that you help when women with.

Practical Reset: Recall Your Confident Self

SPEAKER_01 13:19

Yeah, and it's so important. Just anyone who's listening who maybe has something coming up, we're gonna give you some practical stuff because I like to talk about the philosophical, but I want to give you something practical. I want, I don't want you to imagine what you think you should wear. We're just gonna like table that what your mama says, what your friend word or her blah, blah, blah. Like we're just gonna put this aside for a moment. And I want you to think the last time you felt the most like yourself and that you actually felt confident, and we might be the way back machine. I mean, it could be pre-children, it could be like it does not matter time period, even if it wasn't recent. I want you to go back and I want you to think, yes, what were you wearing? That's an important part. Like when you last felt confident, when you last felt proud of yourself, when you felt like more like yourself, what were you wearing? That's the first question. That's only the first layer.

SPEAKER_02 14:06

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 14:07

I also want you to think about what you were thinking and feeling about yourself when you created that outfit. Again, that's the gold mine. Because if we can tap into whatever you were thinking and feeling about yourself, that's actually what we're replicating. And then the clothes is just like this beautiful icing that we get to bring to the magic that is already you. The clothing is magical, you're the magic here, but we can use those good thoughts and feelings to find an outfit that helps you feel more like yourself. And anything that's gonna detract, when you try it on, if you get the ick or you have to convince yourself to wear it, it's okay. The clothing is auditioning for you, you're not auditioning for it.

SPEAKER_00 14:45

Oh my gosh, I love that. I love that, I love that. And I've worked with moms for quite some time. And as bodies change postpartum, we're often trying to like squeeze into the things and find the thing that looks good, right? And one of my non-negotiables when it has come to fashion and clothing, and and this took me a while after years of heels and boots and things, is I have to be comfortable for me personally. I have to be able to pop a pair of sneakers onto any dress, any jumpsuit, any pair of pants, because that's just what allows me to shine best. And so, yeah, so good, so good.

SPEAKER_01 15:17

And I don't know if people talk about enough for postpartum bodies. Like, yeah, let's huge size change in this friends. The distribution of your lady parts where they settle after the situation. So no one talks about this. If you're pyrimenopausal, the fact that you'll start to maybe experience swelly belly. If you're if you had hysterectomy, probably absolutely you're gonna experience swelly belly. So these things are not often talked about. And with those shifts and changes, we have to dress and love the body we have right now. And she's subject to change almost constantly. So we have to pay right a lot of attention to her so that hey, high heels don't work for me anymore. That doesn't mean I'm not stylish. That doesn't mean I can't be what I consider to be fashionable. That just means my body is now telling me it needs something different for me, and I get to gamify getting it what it needs.

SPEAKER_00 16:07

I love that so much. And it's like by you saying that, dress and love the body you're in right now. I hope our listeners really, really soak into that and take that because that is giving each and every single one of us permission to truly be in the season and and phase of life that we are in. I think so many of us strive to be back into like the way we looked in our early 20s when we were in quote, the prime. Let me just say I'm in my 40s and I feel like I'm in the prime. But like, yeah, do you have any other like tips or suggestions as women are navigating the changing body and their own body image?

SPEAKER_01 16:46

Let's talk about it because this is one of my favorite parts of this, but also could be the what seemingly harder part. But also, if you can wrap your arms around this, the style stuff's almost easy.

SPEAKER_00 16:56

Okay, let's go.

Comfort, Postpartum Changes, And Permission

SPEAKER_01 16:57

Yeah, so the first thing is to just become aware of what's happening. I think for so many women, we're taught that we're not supposed to look in the mirror that much and we're not supposed to pay that much attention to our bodies, even though if you're listening to this, you're a mom and your body went through something tremendous. Like, you know, love, you you really could pay attention to it, it's totally okay. So the first thing is just giving you all who are listening permission to start to be aware of and paying attention to your body. Now, that doesn't mean that you spend hours navel gazing. Okay, so if anyone like their inner eye roll critic cued up, I hear you, I see you. We're not saying hours in front of the mirror, but it could be as simple as this. And this is what I tell my clients it's before your feet hit the floor. That's the exercise. Okay. So before your feet hit the floor in the morning, I want you to just do a body scan. You have to look at it. Yeah, if you're not ready to sit in front of the mirror, totally fine. But we can do a little scan from the top of your head to the tips of your toes to just recognize where are you comfortable and where are you uncomfortable? Over the night, have our panties crawled up our ass. Has our I hate that. Why does that always happen? Right? Like, have our PJs shifted? Are we smashing our boobs? Are our sheets hot? Did we wake up freaking sweaty and soaked in sweat? Like all of these are clues to a changing body, but we're so keyed up that when we wake up in the morning, our, you know, that's I like to say this like imaginary to-do list cues up, and it's like and your brain goes into go mode, and there's little humans, and then there's fur babies, and sometimes spouses and partners, and then there's also work. And we never make it to our own list. So before your feet hit the floor, before you pick up your freaking phone, I just want you to check in. Where am I uncomfortable? Where am I comfortable? Because that's gonna be giving me clues about maybe where I could use some support in my clothing or my even my bedding choices. Do I need to get some moisture wicking? Do I need jammies that are gonna help keep me cool at night? Do I need to be paying free while I sleep? Do I need to wear bigger panties while I sleep? Like, right, we're gonna have so many clues about what kind of things we can get you to help you, but we won't know until we gain some awareness about what's going on.

SPEAKER_00 19:55

I love this so much. I love it. I always say that the first step to any type of change is awareness. So you just named it is we as women get so disconnected from ourselves and from our bodies. And so I love that you give this idea of it's not a journaling exercise after you've brushed your teeth. It's not like a midday lunch break. It's as soon as you wake up in the morning, just check in with yourself, be aware of what's going on. No judgment either. Just like I notice X, Y, and Z. The damn panties up the ass, that drives me nuts sleeping. I'm gonna we might have to have a personal side conversation about how do you not have wedgies while you sleep. But, anyways, what about E Rex? Don't you worry. Yeah. What comes after the awareness piece of it? How do we take that next step?

Morning Body Check-In Ritual

SPEAKER_01 20:43

Yeah, so the next thing I would say is it I used to run a group program, I don't anymore, but what we would do in the first week of the group program was called awareness week. And I gave it an ominous tone, and then later on I would be like, but this is gonna be really fun, I promise. And it would be sort of the next level of a check-in. And what I asked the clients to do is to take a picture of themselves.

SPEAKER_00 21:06

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 21:07

Here's what became very interesting. It was acutely aware that some rounds there'd be women who did not have any mirrors in their house. And it was so surprising to me. I'm like, well, okay, there's like none. They're like, well, let me show you. And there'd be these like weird little awkward mirrors where we wouldn't get the full body, we would get like, and the body would be in shadow, or it'd be like this, you know, the little weird powder room. And I'm like, okay. Not what I'm talking about. And when she every day I got a picture from her in her elevator in her apartment building, she's like, I don't want to buy a mirror yet. So here they go. And then the doorman was right there, was like sort of in the background. But it was very interesting to me how many women actually didn't know what their whole bodies look like. So I would say a step up from checking in and doing the before your feet hit the floor is to get a mirror or something that has a reflective surface. It can be your refrigerator, where you're looking at your whole self and if your game to take a picture of yourself because there's something about a little level of objectivity that occurs when we take a picture of ourselves. We're not here to shame ourselves, nitpick our bodies. Just to be aware of how have you been showing up and do you like it.

unknown 22:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:20

And if you don't like it, what don't you like about it?

SPEAKER_00 22:22

Because best news ever, we can totally change it. And what's coming to mind for me as you share this, Judith, yes, to change is so possible, is you're not just taking a picture to see what the physical body looks like, but it's the whole phrase, like a picture's worth a thousand words, is you can start to see how you're carrying yourself. Are shoulders drooped? Are you slouching, right? Does it look like you're lacking strength somewhere? Like it can just show so much. I love this because I think aside from pictures that we're in with our family or selfies we're taking, like, how often do we actually get to bring awareness to our one physical body that we are so privileged to be in?

SPEAKER_01 23:00

Yeah, and the one that gave likes. I mean, we're talking to moms, like you have humans housed in you. And how crazy is that? Yeah. Carry your child and your mom through other means, like female bodies are kind of insane. So I want to just say to you all like, what I find so interesting about moms in particular, however, you came to be a mom, is oftentimes you're not even in the pictures. Like you're the one taking the picture, right? They're about to use they're left out of the photo record of their own family. So so that we have a record of you somewhere that you existed on this plane for a period of time, and there are people who loved you and knew you and wanted you around. And we need a picture of you, love. Like we need a picture of you. And even if you show these to nobody, for your own edification, there's this great scene in Shit's Creep when Myra Rose, the crazy mom character, is like trying to find nudes on purpose and like prompting her children to go find nude pictures of her. And she tells one of the characters, take as many nudes as you can now while you're glorious. And she's saying this in like, I think she's gotta be in her late 50s, 60s in this. So, I mean, midlife sort of in this show. And I'm just like, oh my god, I was just like, you're glorious, take the pictures. And I'm just like, oh my god, that is so good. Like, so so powerful, yeah. Yeah, it's okay if you're not ready to take nudes. I'm not suggesting you don't like what I am suggesting though is that there's a record that you existed and that you take pictures of yourself and that you look at them to glean all that information that Megan was talking about, not just what you're wearing, but how you're holding your body. How comfortable are you in your own body? What is your face looking like and doing? And I have someone in my membership writers who take the frown picture of. Day and like encourage each other. Like, you don't have to smile in your picture first. And we're often prompted to do that. We could just frown it up if you want. So this is gonna look different for each of what you discover about yourself, but it's so worthwhile because you learn a lot from just snapping a pick, even three days. If you want to do a whole week, fine, do it for three days and like re-acquaint yourself with yourself currently, because there's a wealth of information and knowledge, there's a beautiful relationship that could begin there. And it's a way to start to get to know yourself again.

Mirrors, Photos, And Seeing Yourself Fully

SPEAKER_00 25:13

I love this. And I'd love to offer the perspective for those that are maybe feeling a little bit uncomfortable. One is just get curious. Like, what's the worst that can happen? You take the picture and then you delete it. Okay, fine. And also just, you know, one of my main pillars of the work that I do is how do you bring fun and play into this? Yeah. What if you stick your tongue out in every picture or do the frown and just make it a little bit silly? Because I think far too often we just take ourselves too seriously and then we put pressure on ourselves. And so this is really a unique opportunity to get to know yourself on kind of a different level.

SPEAKER_01 25:43

Absolutely. And like I have some clients, like they play music, they get their playlists, and it's like, hey, when I'm gonna do this work, I'm gonna have the playlist or the song that I queue up. So my brain knows like this is fun, this is exciting. Some are more candle-oriented and they have a certain smell that they do the work with. So you can get yourself primed to make this fun. I think sometimes even like fashion people take themselves way too seriously. Like, right. So it's all at the end of the day, fabric creatively stitched together and we throw it on human bodies, and human bodies are weird and they secrete liquid and they're gangly and uneven. Like this is all just one weird thing, friends. And it could be fun if we embrace the weird and the awkward that is a human body. It does not have to be so serious, like an old school Calvin Klein commercial, like supernot required. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:31

Yeah. And I think that so many of our body issue challenges come because of the images that we see and the images that media shows us. Do you have any thoughts in terms of, again, for many of us, it's decades of conditioning, right? It's decades of seeing the same images and saying, be smaller, be thinner, don't look like that, don't do this, fit inside this box. How do we start to actually move away from those things that, again, have been ingrained in us? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:58

So I call it cleaning up your visual diet. So I feel like we kind of encourage each other to like have your plate be like the rainbow. All the fruits and veggies and the colors and the textures, like we want a plate that's full of the rainbow so that we're eating nutritiously. The same applies to the visual intake that you're putting into your brain. Whatever you're consuming through your eyes also needs to be as colorful as the rainbow. And here's what I mean by that: I mean following people who are different shapes, different sizes, different ages, have gray hair, have white hair, have wrinkles, are skinny, fat, thin, however, you want to couch it, all the different rainbow matrix that we come in as humans, which is kind of wonderful. Have as much of that as possible because what ends up happening is the algorithm will send you what it thinks you want to see. So if you start looking at fitness inspiration or beauty inspiration of a certain hair texture, certain skin color, a certain body type, the algorithm's like, this is what she consumed. Send her more. But if you start to branch out and you specifically look for someone who doesn't have your skin tone or skin color, someone who doesn't have your hair texture, someone who doesn't have your body weight, shape, or size, somebody who's a completely different age than you, you are going to start to get an algorithm that's slightly confused at first, but then it'll start to send you the coolest stuff. And you will get inspiration from incredible women all over the world just showing up as themselves, gray hair, dyed hair, Botox, no botox, like right across the board. Because none of it is wrong. I don't want anyone to hear me say that anything is particularly good or there's a hierarchy here. There is none. And the more you color your visual diet, the better it is for your brain because your brain doesn't think that filtered, thin, particular size, weight, shape, texture, skin colors is what's normal and good and right. Your brain will start to see, oh, we're all just the humans showing up with our gangly little creepy bodies that secrete liquid.

SPEAKER_00 29:07

I love this. Cleaning up your visual diet is really allowing our brains to shift and take on a new perspective. That again, kind of like you said, there is no right or wrong or good or bad because when it comes to confidence, it's what and how do you want to feel that, right? And so, like just normalizing like just all the differences in bodies and again the amazingness in it. I love that. I know you shared with me, Judith, that one of the easiest ways for women to work on confidence is through their clothing. And I know we have a lot of really, really busy mom listeners in the audience who either don't have or don't want to make the time to to do the shopping or to explore style, or they feel a sense of guilt maybe from spending money in this space. How do we actually then like use clothing to build our confidence? How do we take that step when we are looking for something slightly different?

SPEAKER_01 30:00

Yeah, so I think the easiest way this is my favorite thing to teach Redabook. What are the awesome ways, like easiest ways I can get you started on your style journey, low cost, low effort, low time investment, is start with your underwear drawer.

SPEAKER_00 30:15

Okay.

Make It Playful: Music, Candles, And Ease

SPEAKER_01 30:16

Because it's the often most overlooked. And for moms in particular, because of the changes that happen postpartum and the hormonal changes, they're actually the place that probably has had the most fluctuation and probably the place you should search first. It's also if you happen to have breastfed, if you didn't, totally fine. But if you had breastfed or not, your breasts had changes. If you chose not to breastfeed, your changes might have happened a little bit earlier on in your postpartum journey. So wherever this finds you, chances are you're gonna need new bras and undies. I had one client, when she came to me, she was still in a nursing bra that she'd got with one of her children like 20 years before. Oh my goodness. And I was like, Love, tell me everything about this bra and why we're so obsessed with it, so that we can get you something comparable, but that actually fits you now, because I'm sure love things have shifted. And it was so interesting because she's like, it's so soft. And I hate bras that are like stiff and hard. And I was like, okay, cool. Now we know where to go. Why don't we now have some direction, right? This is what you're looking for. So even if you have like a favorite pair of undies or a favorite bra, but you haven't been fitted for a long time, you absolutely know the things have shifted. Totally okay. We're just gonna mine those favorites for information so that we can buy you something comparable that actually fits you. And here's why this is important in case anybody's feeling a little pushback, resistance. It's really hard to do the work you have to do in the world when you're distracted by wedges or bras that are riding up or breasts that are being pinched or falling out or bubbling over. Like you absolutely have better things to do than be tugging at yourself all day. So just from the standpoint that this is a distraction from like the important shit you have to go do, that's where I want you to have some buy-in. The other thing is onies are such a good way to figure out what's going on with your heart and mind. If all of your undies have become period panties, something's going on with we haven't taken good care of ourselves, we stop paying attention somewhere along the way. If all of our channies are too small, something's gone on. We're not paying attention to the body that currently exists, and that body really needs some loving on. If all the undies are too big, oftentimes we're a little out of touch with where we landed most part of, and we need to figure out how to get comfortable, but also things that fit us that are comfortable. So it's very telling with whatever's going on in your undies or your broad jawer in terms of where you're at with your thoughts and feelings about yourself. So that's the easiest way for you to do a little check-in and also to replace something without having to do a huge haul, without having to spend a bunch of money, especially if a budget is tight and we've got back to school with kiddos or we've got those fall pictures that everybody has to dress the same or whatever the hell you've got going on.

SPEAKER_00 33:04

Right, right.

SPEAKER_01 33:05

Like, oh my God, the pressure between fall pictures. You're having people, families, I'm dressed for fall pictures. It's so fascinating to me. So, whatever it is, love, if you've got a tight budget, it's okay. Let's start with your undies and bras, and then we can build from there because they truly are the foundation garments for a reason.

SPEAKER_00 33:24

Oh, this is so good. I love this whole concept of starting small. And I was very curious as to why the underwear drawer, but it makes so much sense. Like, I think as you shared, it can be so telling in terms of how you are caring for yourself and how you are seeing yourself is are you wearing the thing that's all ratty and da-da-da. It's the first thing we put on ourselves. So if we are starting our day by putting on something that's uncomfortable or unflattering or old or whatever, that just kind of lends into the energy of how the day can go. So that's awesome. I love that it also gives permission, like where it doesn't have to be this huge overhaul, right? Really don't you can start to get curious and explore what different pieces do allow you to feel better.

Clean Up Your Visual Diet

SPEAKER_01 34:09

Right. And so fun too. I think on these because they're such a low cost. And here's the thing, love, no one has to see them. I think that's like one of the best, easiest ways, especially for moms. Like you feel like you have to share with everyone what you're doing and what you're working on, right? Like, this is one where like this can just be between you and your significant other. If that's your pleasure, you do you boo. But like you get to explore like, do I want color right now? Do I want print? Do I want pattern? Do I want to just go with like really good black and a set of nudes? Like, yeah, there's so much, even within that realm, that you get to start to explore what your personal preferences are with like low stakes. And then again, always mining information. You become aware of what your body shape is like, you become aware of what your personal preferences are, and we're not breaking the bank and we don't have to tell everybody and their mother what we're doing. We get just to do it for us, which I think is gonna be a game changer for a lot of moms listening because there's so little places in your life where something is simply just for you.

SPEAKER_00 35:12

Yes, yes, and yes. And as somebody who has been on my own personal style journey the last handful of years, this can be so powerful. And I just love all of the tips, both in terms of things that we can do, but also the ways that we're thinking, the ways that we are starting to show up, the ways we wake up in the day are really actionable and things that our listeners can take away and start to try out today. So fabulous. And I have one more question for you that just came to mind as you were sharing something in there is I know that I have worked with many women as a lot of the work that I do in the personal development space is helping women learn how to let go of things, both in terms of mindsets and perspectives, but also habits that don't serve them. And one thing I've guided many women through is this whole concept of how do we let go of those things in our wardrobe that have just been fit in there that no longer serve us? Do you have any thoughts on that? Yes, yes. And I'll give you this is like a three-step process.

SPEAKER_01 36:07

I talk about also, but it has to fit three ways. Oftentimes we're obsessed with it fitting our body. That's the first fit test. Does this fit my current body as it exists right now? The answer is no. We either store it or we ditch it. Cool. Okay. The second question is does this fit my lifestyle? Okay, so many of you have closets that I call time traveling machines, and it's for a woman who does not exist, does not even do that stuff anymore. So if you've got clubware boo-boo, and we're not doing clubs anymore, like maybe it's time. And I use that as a simple example, but I've also had clients who are tirees and have a closet full of suits that don't make sense. They live on a horse ranch and they muck shit every day. Like we have to think about how do you actually live your life? And do you have the clothing to support the life you actually live? Not the imaginary Pinterest one, the real one.

SPEAKER_02 36:58

Right.

SPEAKER_01 36:58

So that's the second fit. Does it fit my body? Does it fit my actual lifestyle? And then the third fit test, and this is the one that always gets left out, which is does this fit my personal preference? Do I even like this thing anymore? Like sometimes we're so worried about fitting into something physically. We never stop to ask, do I even like this thing? So you have permission to not like things.

SPEAKER_00 37:21

To not like things. Even though you spent money on it or bought it or were gifted it, you can get rid of it. And I love the two examples. You can either store it or just get rid of it. If you're not ready to just get rid of it, at least just put it out of site out of mind for now. So your wardrobe, your closet can be things that you are gonna feel better about as you choose on the day-to-day. So, Judith, you have provided so many golden nuggets. I've walked away with some. I know our listeners have walked away with many. Before we sign off for the day, do you have any closing thoughts for those that are listening today?

SPEAKER_01 37:50

Yeah. And I just want you to think of everything I said as like a journey. You just get to figure out where you are on the road map. For some of you, loves today is just gonna be you're gonna do the before your feet hit the floor, check in. For some of you, you're gonna want to do maybe a few days of taking pictures to see where you get started. For some of you, you're gonna be checking them on your drawer. Some of you are gonna be ditching some panties as we speak because it's like being clean them out, right?

SPEAKER_00 38:12

They're listening and doing. Yep.

SPEAKER_01 38:14

And for some of you, like we're just gonna check in with our clothes and see if they pass the fit test. And none of it's right, none of it's wrong, none of it's behind, none of it's better than the other. These are just places to get started so that you can start to pay attention to yourself again.

SPEAKER_00 38:28

What a beautiful reminder that we are each on our own journey here. Judah, thank you so much for being part of the Rockstar Mom. My pleasure. Thank you so much for having me. Thank you, everyone who stayed and listened. Thank you so much for tuning in to the Rockstar Mom podcast. If today's episode resonated with you, here's how we can keep this momentum going. First, be sure to subscribe to the show so you never miss an episode. Next, I'd be so grateful if you took a moment to leave a five-star review on Apple Podcasts. Your feedback helps us reach even more women who are ready to live more intentional, fun-filled lives. Lastly, please share your insights on social media and be sure to tag me at Megan Caldwell PDX so we can connect and inspire other rock stars to live their best lives too. Again, I am so glad that you are here, and I'll see you next time.