EP 22 | Body Confidence for You AND Your Children with Whitney Casares

What if your child didn’t just try to “love their body,” but learned to trust it, care for it, and return to compassion on the hard days? That’s the heart of our conversation with Dr. Whitney Caceres—board-certified pediatrician, author of My One of a Kind Body, and founder of Modern Mommy Doc—who helps families raise kids with real confidence, not performative positivity.

We dig into the difference between body positivity and body confidence, and why the latter makes space for the full human experience. Dr. Whitney shares a clear, science-informed approach to health and body literacy: teach kids what foods do inside the body, remove moral labels, and frame cupcakes, proteins, and veggies by their functions and feelings. We unpack how to name diet culture in everyday media—from 90s movie nights to social feeds—and use those moments to build critical thinking instead of shame.

You’ll hear practical strategies for joyful movement that sticks because it fits a child’s temperament and season of life. We talk real-world scripts for self-compassion, modeling boundaries, and handling “body bullies,” including well-meaning grandparents. Dr. Whitney also reframes the pediatric checkup: BMI can be one data point, not a destiny. Learn how to steer doctor conversations toward sustainable habits, mental health, and long-term well-being.

Inside, Dr. Whitney previews exercises from her kid-focused book—food curiosity lists, weekly reflection prompts, and language swaps that reduce shame—and offers a look ahead at her upcoming guide for parents, Raising Body Confident Kids. If you’re ready to retire “good vs. bad foods,” ditch punishment-based exercise, and ground your family in values that outlast trends, this conversation is your toolkit.

If this resonated, subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a quick review to help more families find practical, compassionate guidance. What body message are you rewriting at home today?

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Transcript

Welcome And Episode Setup

SPEAKER_01 0:00

You are listening to the Rockstar Mom, a podcast for high achievers who are ready to get off of autopilot and live a life with more intention, peace of mind, and happiness. This is a space to expand, dig deep, get clear, and take action towards living your most authentic, aligned life. I'm Megan Caldwell. As a mom of three, two-time burnout survivor, and empowerment coach and speaker, I've cracked the code on what it actually takes to thrive at work and home, ditch perfectionism and people pleasing, get your schedule under control, and live with more ease. So you've got more time and energy to do the things you love without the mom guilt. It's time to get out of your head and into action. Now is the time to live your most rock star life.

SPEAKER_00 0:49

Let's go. Hi, friend, and welcome back to the Rockstar Mom. I'm really excited to share this interview that I had with Dr. Whitney Caceres as part of season two of the Rockstar Mom Summit. And in today's conversation, we are getting really deep in body confidence and body positivity. And she breaks down kind of the difference that she feels between those two. And we really talk about how our own body stories shape our parenting and how we show up for our kiddos and just the power in that, as well as practical ways to help build body confidence in our kids. One thing I love about Dr. Whitney Casaris is that she is a pediatrician by trade, but she really also focuses on the power of pouring into moms, and that's us, my friend, is when we care for ourselves, we can then best care for our kids. One other thing I think you'll enjoy from this upcoming conversation is just how to navigate body comments from others, including grandparents or other relatives, and how we can help, again, create that safe space for our own kiddos. So grab your favorite beverage, and I hope that you enjoy this conversation with Dr. Whitney Caceres.

Meet Dr. Whitney Caceres

SPEAKER_01 2:02

My friends, welcome back. I am so excited to share with you a good friend of mine here, local to Portland, Dr. Whitney Caceres. Dr. Whitney is a board-certified pediatrician, author, and founder of Modern Mommy Doc and raising body-confident kids. Through her clinical expertise and lived experience as a mom, she helps families raise emotionally and physically healthy kids without falling into the traps of perfectionism or pressure. Her latest book, My One of a Kind Body, gives children a science-backed, empowering introduction to how their bodies work and why everybody is worthy of care and respect. It's part of her larger mission to help families move beyond shame and unrealistic expectations towards real health, compassion, and confidence. Dr. Caceris is also the author of Doing It All and The Working Mom Blueprint, and a nationally recognized voice on pediatric help, maternal well-being, and practical parenting strategies. Her work has been featured by outlets like the New York Times, Forbes, and Fortune. She lives in Portland, Oregon with her husband and two daughters. Whitney, welcome back to the Rockstar Mom. I'm thrilled to have you here and for our conversation today. Thanks for having me. It's my pleasure. Well, Whitney, I truly feel that you are a rock star mom. For our listeners that don't know, we've actually known each other for I think over a decade at this point. And so it has just been so fascinating for me as another mom, raising kids, wanting to do best, to see your career and evolution evolve from being kind of a clinical pediatrician. My kids literally go to the clinic you used to be at. You've written several books. You know, I think I was originally drawn to you as my work has shifted in terms of your working mom's blueprint, as that is a lot of our audience here today. But I'm so, so, so excited to talk about a topic that you are so passionate about in this season of your career. Body positivity, body confidence, this whole thing. I know our listeners are so ready for this. So let me start by asking you. I always want to say body positivity. You said I like to use the word body confidence. Can you talk to me a little bit about the difference between these two phrases for you?

Body Positivity vs Body Confidence

SPEAKER_02 4:15

Absolutely. So there's nothing wrong with body positivity per se, but I think it's such a lofty goal for our kids and for us to feel positive all the time. You know, it's almost like people go like, be happy. And then you're like, I don't feel happy. You're like, be positive about your body, and you're feeling like, well, I'm seeing these AI models and these filters on Instagram. So I like the word body confidence because I think it gives a little bit more room for the human experience. Body positivity is feeling happy and good and positive about your body all the time. Body confidence to me is a little more complex. It involves you care about your body, you accept the body that you're in, you care for your body, and you feel like you have the tools to use when you're not in a great space headwise about your body. So you're able to kind of come back to giving your body compassion, to seeing why sometimes you feel negative about it. So again, it gives a little bit more room for that human experience of none of us feels amazing every single day in our body.

SPEAKER_01 5:22

I love that you just normalize that for us because, you know, I think a lot of people will say to me, Megan, you're just so positive. Like I am not this way all the time. I do strive to be, both in terms of body, but in terms of life, right? Is to just recognize like we can't be positive all the time. There's going to be highs, there's going to be lows. And so I love, I'm sure you're going to share with us some of those tools, if you will, to allow us to build the confidence within ourselves and also into our kids. As I know that's kind of been your focus here on this upcoming book release. I am curious, is what kind of drew you into this space, body confidence, and especially as it relates to us instilling this in our children.

SPEAKER_02 6:01

Yeah. So Modern Mommy Doc, which is my main platform, has always been about that synergistic relationship between a kid's wellness and a mom's wellness because they're so intertwined. I mean, I even have like a specialized public health degree in that specific niche area. But I think that as my kids got older, I started realizing how much my own body image issues and diet culture played into the way that I responded to things that came up for them. So, I mean, my daughter, when she was eight years old, my oldest is now 12, when she was eight years old, that's the first time she asked me if she was fat. And I mean, it's so devastating, but it was actually like the same age that I remember my mom for the first time talking to me about maybe cutting calories or maybe going on a diet or maybe exercising more. So, like that's the first age that I really started recognizing that my body wasn't necessarily the safe place that could take care of itself, that I needed to be kind of hyper-vigilant around my body. And so when my child said that to me, it brought up all of these things that my mom had said to me that I didn't want to repeat. It brought in all of this stuff from my medical training, because medical training is very much focused on BMI and on weight-based kind of canceling, which we can talk about a little later. And then it also brought up like what I wanted to be different for my child, like what I what my hopes and dreams were for her about feeling confident in her buddy. And also, my child is autistic. So she has a lot of food things and sensory things that go on for her, which make it so that she's more drawn to some of the like sweets and some of the carbs and that type of stuff. She's not the most active kid. And so it made me just really do this deep dive into okay, where do all these messages messages come from for me about what a good body is and about body confidence? Where do they come from for my kids? And how do we navigate that? And then, of course, once you start navigating that and going down a rabbit hole for yourself, then you realize, like, oh my gosh, the more I talk to other moms about this, they feel exactly the same way, like so confused by all the jumbly stuff that's in their heads.

unknown 8:15

Yeah.

A Mom’s Story And Medical Lens

SPEAKER_01 8:16

And I think that we live in this world of so much like excessive information in this day and age. And so we are trying to juggle that alongside, as you shared, our own upbringing, our own stories, the things that we have been conditioned to think, the stories and sayings that our parents had, the media, all of these different things is like, how do we actually navigate and pull down to doing this work for ourselves, which will then also ripple into our kids? So, my question for you is how do we instill body positivity and body confidence in kids? I want you to speak into those listeners who maybe don't feel that way themselves. If it's when they don't necessarily feel confident. Again, majority of our listeners are moms. I'm sure many of them have grown their own humans and birthed their own babies. We probably have some adopted moms and other types of moms and some non-moms in the audience as well, right? But pregnancy motherhood changes our body. Aging changes our body. So if we are not fully feeling the best in our bodies, how can we still be that example for our children and the next generation?

SPEAKER_02 9:17

Yeah, absolutely. Well, you brought up a good point, first and foremost. We are living in an age where there's so many conflicting pieces of advice out there. I think, especially in backlash to diet culture that most of us grew up in. And I want to point out, you know, my mom's not like a monster. She's just an example of how everyone was at that time. Like their slim fast shakes and their grapefruit diets and whatever. So, like she was just doing what she thought was the best for me. Now we have a lot of information about how if we talk negatively about a kid's weight or talk about they need to restrict their calories or they need to exercise more in a way that's unhelpful, it can actually a make them gain more weight as they are getting older. And also it can make it so that they are even less confident about their body. And there's a lot of stuff on Instagram or on like social media where you'll see people say, do it this way, or you're gonna totally harm your kid, or do it this way, or you're gonna totally harm your kid. So I know that there's a lot of confusion out there. I think the main principles that you can hold on to for your child to help them be more body confident, even if you're still in your own journey toward body confidence, is number one, focus on health literacy and body literacy. I want to teach my kids what food and exercise does for their body. So I want them to know that broccoli is gonna help them because it has antioxidants in it. I want them to know that protein and healthy fats are gonna help them to have more energy and be more focused while they're in school. I want them to know that a cupcake is an amazing food for celebrating and can taste so good in your mouth. But if you eat only that, your energy might be depleted pretty fast because it's mostly carbohydrates. And so it's gonna exit your body quickly. So that's number one, like body literacy. I think when you teach that to kids, it takes the moral weight out of it and makes it more just about what is a nutrient-dense food, what is a nutrient-dense food plus a fun food, and what is just a fun food. And that all of them have their place, but we can't consider them all completely equal. Like you gotta know what things you're doing for what for your body.

SPEAKER_01 11:23

So that's why I love that. Yes. And so I do want to say and kind of repeat back what I'm hearing, is like there is no good or bad, right? There is, and that's where I think oftentimes we can go wrong, is that we label and then we get stuck to these labels. And again, this is so much of the mindset work when really, if we just get down to the facts as to what certain foods are actually doing for our body in a meaningful way. I I use the term food as fuel in the work that I do. It is one of the foundational five healthy habits that I support women in finding success in over time. And it's like if we label it as good or bad, we then have all of these connotations that go with it versus how does it actually make you feel? What is it actually doing from a physiological standpoint? Which again, you have all the knowledge on that. I am no doctor. But um I love that. It's just bringing to the light like the actual truth and science behind different types of foods. Yeah, that's awesome. Cool. What's the next one?

Core Principles For Kids’ Confidence

SPEAKER_02 12:15

Yeah. The next one is letting our kids in on two secrets. One is the diet culture industry, the beauty industry, that that is like what it did for us, what it, what all the negative stuff was for us, and how we want to change things. So I watch a lot of 90s movies with my kids. They love watching like legally blonde, clueless, all that kind of stuff. And there's all of these weird diet references in it. So it's such an amazing opportunity for us to sit down and say, Whoa, that's how people used to talk about bodies or talk about women or talk about food or talk about diet and exercise. And this is why they did that. It's because they were trying to sell a product or they were trying to get people to go to the gym. And really, like what we want is us to actually feel really good in our bodies and not feel like we have to subscribe to like some certain actual size. It's more about health over time, right? So I get in on that stuff. I don't want it to be this huge secret that there was diet culture and just pretend like it didn't exist. And again, just be like fake happy. I want them to know, yes, they're up against something, but it is changing and we can do it together.

SPEAKER_01 13:25

I love that you bring up like watching the 90s movies because, in terms of my ages and spaces of kids, we are totally doing that. And you have just opened a light bulb in my head to like, let's actually use this as a learning experience for whether it be diet culture, whether it be other terms and things that come up that aren't necessarily what we're looking to instill now. So that's awesome. That's awesome. Thank you. Thank you for that, Tinta. And again, I think it's like prior to the coaching career and speaking career that I am in, I owned and operated a fitness franchise for about nine years here locally in Portland, as you know. And, you know, I had women come to me after giving birth to babies saying, I just want my body back, I just want to lose the weight. And it very much was about going to all extremes to slim down. And that is feeding into the diet culture versus the shift that I have seen over the last decade or two is more and more women in similar seasons of life of you and I are really wanting to feel good in their body. Yes. Oftentimes that good is, you know, the term that's coming to mind right now is strong as the new skinny or something like that. It's like we want that feeling of strength. We want that feeling of confidence, we want more energy. And we know for a fact that doesn't come from deprivation.

SPEAKER_02 14:36

Yes, exactly. That is the third thing. Like modeling as much as you can, exercising, moving for joy, paying attention to how you feel after you eat certain foods, like slowing down and making it about feeling and about joy in your life. And you might still have diet culture, have a lot of like weird exercise culture stuff that is part of you that maybe you are when your kids are at school, you're like then like driving yourself hard and doing the things that you want to lose weight. Like, I just don't want to pretend that that doesn't exist for all of us and that that's not okay if you're still on that journey. My plea to you would be with your kids to try to make the movement that you put them into. So the things that they are involved in, the sports, the dance, the like movement with you, make that about joy. And there's nothing wrong with your kid is a like star athlete and they want to be in the soccer team and they're gonna be like sweating and tired and panting, that's awesome. But if they're telling you day after day after day, I hate soccer, I feel bad about myself afterward, like that is no good. That means that is like not the right type of exercise for your kid. If they are panting and sweating, but they're like, I love being on this team and I love this action and we're like, you know, then that is the right thing, right? Or like my kids who are not like that type of athlete. My youngest daughter, she's super athletic, but she does the best when she's doing force docating or when she's doing like aerial, you know, swinging off a thing and it's not competitive, like allowing your kids to find their own journey with what makes them really feel good when they're moving and when they're eating.

Naming Diet Culture And Media

SPEAKER_01 16:23

Yes, I love that you bring this concept of joy into that. It is something that I stand for. You know, fun is one of my top values. It's if we're not having fun, if we're not feeling joy, then what's the point? Like, what is this life for, right? Right. How do we weave that into every aspect of our lives? And I also want to use this opportunity as you were sharing about like acknowledging and respecting what our kids' desires are, is those in our audience here, like give yourself permission to also tap into that joy for your own movement. The number of times where women have been like, well, I really like dancing, but that doesn't really count. Or like, and it's like, yes, it does. All movement is good movement, any type of movement is good movement. And the best way in terms of habit building to to find long-term sustainable success is to do something that you enjoy. Yes. And also recognize that might change in different seasons of our life. So I love, I love that as you know, again, having kids in similar seasons of life, these like school age where it's like sometimes I see parents who like are forcing their kids to continue to to do a certain path or go the competitive route. And it's like take a step back, take a moment to pause, like what actually serves them best.

SPEAKER_02 17:35

Yeah, exactly. And it might be that you're choosing something that you think is gonna serve them best in the long run. Like that's okay. It doesn't have to be like that makes them feel illegally right that second. Yeah, what you're saying about finding joy for movement too. I've really been in a season of trying to pay attention to what does my body need in that moment, like day to day. So sometimes what I need, I'm in like a bad mood, I feel sad. I need to hop on the Peloton bike and like go hard into some like heavy metal and like go hard, you know? Then sometimes I'm like, gosh, I've been like burning the candle at both ends. I need to do yoga. Or sometimes my husband and I have been disconnected because I've been traveling and I'm like, you know what I want to do is go to that like Latin bar and go dancing, like and like listen to Carol G. Like, that's the right thing, you know? So I think it can be in seasons, like years, months, or it can be dated.

SPEAKER_01 18:29

Daily as well. Yeah, such a good point. One of my favorite sayings is motion creates emotion. And that we can use movement to shift ourselves out of, as you said, kind of like in that movement. I'm kind of in a funk. In fact, I was literally texting a girlfriend this morning and she's like, Megan, how are you doing? And I was like, I've kind of been up and down. And she's like, I just she's like, What are you doing to ground yourself? And I was like, Great question. And walking, walking is one of those things for years I had such a block up against because maybe because I was a competitive athlete, I was a runner for years where I was like, it's just walking. It is the best, it can be one of the best fuels. And sometimes walking is walking from my upstairs office, downstairs, doing a loop around my kitchen, dining, living area. That movement can be so powerful. And so, again, as we model it, our kids are gonna see that as well. So trying different things can be really powerful.

SPEAKER_02 19:19

Yep. Yeah. And then the last thing I would say in terms of helping our kids is to be honest with our kids about our own struggles in a way that's constructive. So I don't think your kid needs to hear you say, gosh, I look at my thighs and I hate them, or I hate this cellulite. Like, I don't think that's helpful at all. I think that's damaging to your kids. But I do think it's okay if your kid says, All the other kids are skinnier than me, or I have this acne on my face and I feel terrible about it. For you to say, Yeah, sometimes when I look in the mirror, I don't like what I see too. And you know, these are the things I do when that happens. I try to like say, Yeah, that makes sense because there's a lot of people that tell me exactly how I should look. All right, okay, I bet there's a bunch of other people that feel that exact same way too.

SPEAKER_01 20:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:10

Okay, now what am I gonna do in this moment? Right. So, like, kind of modeling that self-compassion for our kids around those real feelings that come up, especially in the pre-teen and teen years, as you and I both know, Megan. It's like it gets real, real.

Joyful Movement Over Perfection

SPEAKER_01 20:24

It gets real, real. That's right. Yeah. Oh, I love that again. Self-compassion is such a big thing that I think so many of us are working on ourselves. And self-compassion, and I also heard what you said there, is just validating is you know, like acknowledging what they're saying is their truth right now and recognizing like we can look at this a different way, or we might feel bad. Like, what's gonna help us feel better? So that's great. Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 20:48

So those are the main things, and then I think the final thing, and this is where my book comes in for the kids. It's called My One of a Kind Body. It's for kids ages seven to 12. It gives kids actual exercises they can do themselves and not exercises like physical movement exercises, like activities they can do themselves within the book so that it's not just coming from us. You know how if it tells your kids something, then they do it. But if you tell your kids something, they're like, that's so lame. But if they read it online or they see it, then they're like all about it. So use me, use the book. You know, it's a good like put it in the bathroom kind of book, or like just leave deposit it in your kids' room kind of book for them to be able to explore some of these issues on their own, but with the guidance from the American Academy of Pediatrics. So you're not, you know, it's not gonna be harmful for them, that it's actually gonna be helpful for them.

SPEAKER_01 21:38

Yeah, it's kind of past the test that like these are actually tried and true. Would you really be willing to share one or two of those tools or techniques just so we can get a glimpse as to like what's in there?

SPEAKER_02 21:47

Yeah, great question. So, one around food is for kids who are a little bit more picky eaters. We put a chart that says, okay, here's all these different types of foods. And there's like different ethnic foods. Different foods that you might eat now, like vegetables are on that list, fruits are on that list. And then kids can mark down okay, these are the ones that I've tried. And there's like 50 different options. These are the ones I've tried. And then it said, like, these are the ones that I might be willing to try. Like, you know, so like sushi, I might be a little willing to try that, or Thai food, or I might be willing to try. And that gives you kind of an opportunity for your kids to like have a little bit more ownership over the things that you might be trying to get them to explore or get them to be more adventurous about. So that's one example. Another example is going through a body's bullies, body bullies list. Have I seen body bullies at my school this week at all? What did they say? Was it toward me or was it toward a friend? Here are some techniques that experts say that I can use. Which one of these did I use with the body bully? Or did I not use any? And what's one that maybe I could use next time with this person? So it really runs the gamut. There's ones on movement, on food, on the way that we think about ourselves, the self-compassion, and then on dealing with body bullies, including like the grandparents. Because they don't mean to be, but they're so rough on our kids and on us.

SPEAKER_01 23:15

That was actually one of my questions that was coming through my brain here that other listeners might have is like, how do we continue to do this as parents when there might be other family members who maybe aren't on board? Yeah. Maybe some of that is talked about in the book, but I'm wondering if you just have like any quick tips on that in terms of how we can stand true to what we are trying to shift and instill when the talk elsewhere might not be in line.

Modeling Self-Compassion At Home

SPEAKER_02 23:39

Yeah, absolutely. So with the grandparents specifically, I think that's a tough group because I I'm not gonna change my mom. You know, like there's too much time that has passed that she's been entrenched in these beliefs about diet culture and bodies. So I educate my kids about what the older generation, the baby boomers, will say. I educate my kids kind of in the same way in that like 90s culture of like this is something that they believe, even though it's not something that's right. And honestly, I kind of equate it to like racism, right? There's some people in the world that are racist. Now, of course, if it's a safe space and you feel like you want to say something to grandma about it, if she makes a comment, absolutely you can. But you don't have to. Like, you don't have to change every single person's mind in the world about every single thing. Like, okay. However, if she says something to you about your body that's negative, or she says something to me directly about my body that's negative, you have options. You can say something back if you feel comfortable. It could be a joke that you say back, or you could say something directly back, or you can come find me or another trusted adult to talk to that person for you. You do not have to take on the world. You are not alone. We're in this as a team together. And I've had my kids do both. I've had my kids say directly back to my mom. She'll go, like, you can talk about my mom that way. She'll, you know, in relationship to me, they'll say that back to you. Yeah, go kid. Yeah, advocating for you mom that way. Yeah. I've had them sometimes when they've heard negative comments from my mom, of course, that are unintentional, like, oh, have you been exercising lately? Or like, oh, you know, that like makes kids fat, you know, like can't do much candy, makes it tough. They'll come to me and say, Hey, Mimi said this. I told her I didn't want her to say it, but she kept on doing it. And then I will have a separate conversation with my mom to say, listen, this is my goal with my kids. They came to me and asked me specifically to talk to you about it.

SPEAKER_01 25:42

I just want you to have a good replacement. You know, I mean, that is, Whitney, I love this so much because truthfully, what this book and what your teachings are sharing with our next generation is really empowering them. And again, we're bringing these conversations, which sometimes can be sticky, to the forefront to say this is actually something we can and should talk about. I am a safe place. That's just so powerful. So powerful. I do have one more thing I'd love to ask you while we're here. And this is about you mentioned it briefly, kind of at the beginning, how so much of our healthcare care world and quote unquote health has been based around weight and BMI for the past, I don't know, you could probably tell me. I want to say decades and is how can we promote successful doctors' appointments that are not BMI or weight-based, primarily with our kids, but I think this could also translate to some of our thinking with our own practitioners as well.

SPEAKER_02 26:37

Yeah, totally. Okay, so first of all, what's the problem with talking about BMI and weight in the office? The problem is number one, BMI is your weight for your height, for your age, for if you are biologically like a girl or a boy, male or female. And so it doesn't take into account a lot of factors. It doesn't take into account if you're more muscular because muscle weighs more than fat. So if you're a more muscular kid, then you are gonna have a higher BMI than someone else who has the same like frame as you. It doesn't take into account race. So it's based off white adults, males, like pretty much everything else in the world. So, you know, so it doesn't account for like different ethnicities and genetics, that type of thing. And so it's really problematic as a way to define health because it just doesn't take into account all of these different factors. However, it's like the only measure that we have currently that we use in practice. There are some really cool studies around using like central fat adiposity, so like waist circumference, how much central fat someone has around their waist, that type of thing. But they aren't common practice. So what I tell people is BMI is like one vital sign of health. Just like if I took your pulse at the doctor's office or I checked your oxygen level at the office, that's one little piece of data that I can use.

SPEAKER_01 28:05

Okay.

Tools From “My One Of A Kind Body”

SPEAKER_02 28:06

But it's not the full picture. So if a kid comes in and they have a BMI that's technically in the overweight category, but they are a super active kid and they make really intentional choices based off body literacy about the things that they're putting into their body and they have great friendships and they feel good about their body, there's absolutely no reason that we should be focused on BMI for that kid. That kid, we should be just continuing to encourage them to live their best life and to have these healthy habits as they grow older. Now, if a kid is all of a sudden they've been on this BMI or weight trajectory over time, and then all of a sudden they fall off and go really, really low and they're super underweight or their BMI falls a ton. I'm gonna be concerned. I'm gonna be concerned that it's maybe an eating disorder. If all of a sudden they've been going on this trajectory and then it jumps up really high, and they're also like having maybe terrible mood changes, or they're talking about how their diet habits have been changing a ton. I'm also gonna be concerned about that. So it can be helpful, like in the context of everything, but it's not the only thing that we should be paying attention to. We also, like I brought up at the beginning of our session, know that talking to kids directly about weight is pretty much never helpful. That it always that it usually either, if they're an overweight kid, makes them gain more weight, or they'll lose a bunch of weight, but then they'll gain it back. Think of like the biggest loser or when I mean all of that. Or if they're really super underweight and we're focused on it, and in their mind they're like, no, no, no, I need to be skinnier. It's not going to be helpful to chat about weight directly. So the American Academy of Pediatrics, pediatricians in general have really shifted the conversation to in front of kids, talk more directly about those healthy habits and about kind of like what they're doing for the long term with it. Of course, sometimes we need to have conversations directly about weight and about BMI. Specifically, like if someone is really underweight, I might need to do some labs to make sure their kidneys are functioning, their heart's functioning okay. If someone has a huge jump in their weight or their BMI, again, I might need to check for things like diabetes or high cholesterol. I might need to check their blood pressure more frequently. Like there are things that need to be checked, but I don't want it to be in the American Academy of Pediatrics is now coming around to say, we don't want it to be that the conversation with kids is about the weight or the BMI specifically, because that just backfires that helpful.

SPEAKER_01 30:40

Yeah, no, that's super helpful to hear just like the impact of that. And even though it might feel like best intentions to talk about it directly with kids, it's actually not. And I love, I love exactly what you've said from yourself and the American Academy of Academy of Pediatrics that the focus is on those healthy habits in terms of creating long-term success. I mean, that's what I preach in my coaching as a pillar in my coaching space. If we want long-term success, like take the focus off of the quote unquote result, which might be body composition, and really put it onto what's within our control, which is what we're doing and what we're thinking. Those are the only two things that we can be controlling. So, how do we shape that conversation? So exactly.

SPEAKER_02 31:20

So in the book, I don't talk directly to kids to say this is how you should have a conversation with your doctor, but I model what a healthy conversation would look like. And I talk about if potentially there were some wide shifts and kind of what's happening for your body. Sometimes doctors use a team approach and they do labs and things like that. And I talk, I give an example of if someone said something negative, how would you like come back around on that if you're overweight or obese?

Handling Body Comments And Grandparents

SPEAKER_01 31:52

That's awesome. That's awesome. Well, I love that you've shared so much about your book that is coming out so soon, my one of a kind body. You also gave me a little precursor, which I am so excited about as we were prepping for this conversation, because obviously we are speaking to the parents here at the Rockstar Mom. Um, this book is geared for our kiddos, but you've got something coming up. Is this in 2026? Yes. So just a quick glimpse of that, because obviously that for our audience here.

SPEAKER_02 32:17

Yes. So this book, yes, is for kids seven to 12 years old. That's the age range the publisher puts. So I'm sure there's people a little bit older, a little bit younger that could benefit from it as well. Very kid-centric. The next book that I'm working on, and what you'll find tips on for free on my social media, on Instagram, on LinkedIn, on all those places on my website, are really tools for the parents. So, yes, I have another book that I'm working on. It's going to come out in about a year. And it's going to be called Raising Body Confident Kids. And the first third is about like why we are where we are as moms. Like, what are all the factors that make it so that we don't feel great? And what are some tools for ourselves so we can kind of help ourselves over time? So it gives exercises on the mindful self-compassion. It kind of has some prompts around what's the first message you ever heard about your body and like how did that change you? You know, it does a little bit of like, I'm not a therapist, but like I'm trying to help people do a deep dive in. Then the second section is for our kids. What are the ways we can talk to our kids? How can we help them? How can we navigate kind of our own interpersonal relationship with them? And then the third section is how do we advocate for our kids and team up with them out in the world? How about at school? How do we create like a healthy culture there? What about with the grandparents? What about with the pediatricians? How do we help them to think about their own social media use and to like interact with the for a kids' culture and with filters and AI models and all of those types of things? So it tries to do kind of like us, them, the world at large.

SPEAKER_01 33:57

The role. Oh my goodness, this is so exciting. As I shared at the beginning, it I have just absolutely loved seeing your journey and again all the good work that you have put into the world to really support, again, both the parents, but also it ripples down, it trickles down into our kiddos. Thank you so much, Dr. Whitney, for sharing all of this goodness. I know you mentioned it briefly, but is there anything else you want to share about the free gift that you have for our listeners here of the Rockstar Mom Virtual Event? Yes. Yes.

Beyond BMI: Better Doctor Visits

SPEAKER_02 34:22

So I'm excited that you'll get this because I put together it's five videos and then also the handout that is about a PDF workbook, really, that is about how to navigate those pediatric visits and also helpful phrases that you can use with your kids. I know that most of us philosophically are really aligned on I want my kids to be confident. I don't want them stuck in diet culture, I want them to have the tools. But sometimes when we're in those sticky moments with our kids, it can be really difficult to get out of our emotional, like reptilian brain around this, and to like put together a coherent sentence for our kids. So I put together some prompts, some kind of framework phrases that you could use that you could practice in the mirror before your kids ever say anything. Yeah. Or that if you have a conversation with your kid and it doesn't go the way that you hope that it would, that you can come back to these and go back and say, listen, this is what I meant. I'm so sorry. And I I think that's maybe like the most important thing for moms who are listening to this to hear. This is not like, I'm gonna read these books, I'm gonna give this stuff to our kid, my kids, and then it's all gonna be perfect, and my relationship with my body's perfect, and my kids' relationship will be perfect. Like, this is such a journey. And so I think repair and recognizing when we go wrong with this is like the name of the game. One quick example, my daughter the other day, I go, you know, you need to like do your chores and you need to load the dishwasher and go fold your clothes or whatever. And so she wasn't doing it. And my first instinct was to go, Well, if you don't do those things and you don't get dessert. And she goes, What is ice? Yeah, did that come, did that come out of my mom's mouth? Yeah, it went out of like my mouth, but it was like a different generation that's coming in. Yeah. And my daughter looked at me and goes, What does dessert have to do with folding my clothes?

SPEAKER_01 36:25

I was like, You're you're cliche. Couche. But it's like catching ourselves in those moments. I love that you share that, Whitney. And just that, like, we are not perfect, my friends listening. We are never going to be perfect. But if we can lead with intention and if we can honor our mistakes, like that, I think is one of the best gifts that we are giving our children.

SPEAKER_02 36:47

Yeah, absolutely. So, yeah, hopefully the mini course, which normally we sell it on the website, it will be helpful to you to feel like you have some of that, some of those tools, like you're carrying a toolbox with you to those conversations with your kids. And again, that you have the tools that you need when things go aright and when you're feeling a little stuck.

SPEAKER_01 37:08

So good. Thank you so much for gifting that to our audience, as well as just this really enriching and real and authentic conversation about body confidence and bettering ourselves, bettering our kids, which ultimately is bettering the world. Any final thoughts for our listeners today, Whitney, before we sign off?

SPEAKER_02 37:26

I think the big thing is, especially in the world that we live in now, just remember to take a second to ground yourself, as we were talking about, Megan. To touch grass, to get off your phone, to like come back to what are the principles, what are the values that I want to live by and that I want to show my kids. That is always going to serve you the best. You were talking about you have your principles of coaching and like things that you share with people. And the reason that we all come back to principles, those of us who do this type of work of helping moms, yeah, is because we know life gets crazy. We know there are distractions, we know there are different complications and gray areas that come in. But if you are rock solid on what you believe and what your goals are long term, that will always serve you as your guide you.

SPEAKER_01 38:18

100% you're speaking my language. Whitney, thank you so much for joining us here on the Rockstar Mom. Absolutely. Thanks for having me. Thank you so much for tuning into the Rockstar Mom podcast. If today's episode resonated with you, here's how we can keep this momentum going. First, be sure to subscribe to the show so you never miss an episode. Next, I'd be so grateful if you took a moment to leave a five-star review on Apple Podcasts. Your feedback helps us reach even more women who are ready to live more intentional, fun-filled lives. Lastly, please share your insights on social media and be sure to tag me at Megan Callball PDX so we can connect and inspire other rock stars to live their best lives too. Again, I am so glad that you are here, and I'll see you next time.