Ep 33 | Why Mother’s Day Can Feel So Emotionally Complicated for High-Achieving Moms

Mother’s Day is supposed to feel joyful… so why do so many moms end the day feeling overwhelmed, emotional, resentful, guilty, or exhausted?

In this honest and heartfelt episode, Megan reflects on her 16th Mother’s Day and shares why this holiday can feel surprisingly heavy for so many women. From family expectations and burnout to grief, identity shifts, and losing touch with what you actually want, this conversation is a reminder that you are not alone.

A few of the topics included in this podcast are :

•  Why Mother’s Day often feels more stressful than restorative 
•  How burnout and exhaustion amplify difficult emotions 
•  The power of boundaries, honesty, and choosing what fills your cup 

This episode is an invitation to stop performing motherhood and start honoring what you genuinely need in this season of life.

Cheering you on always. 💛

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Transcript

Get Out Of Your Head

SPEAKER_00 2:40

It's time to get out of your head and into action. Now is the time to live your most broad star life. Let's go. Hi, friends. I'm coming to you right after celebrating my 16th Mother's Day as a mom. And this Mother's Day hit a little bit differently for me. I think part of it was there was just a lot of conversation in our YRL community just about mixed emotions and really how complicated and complex Mother's Day is. Mother's Day has become one of those really truly commercialized holidays. All the gifts and the flowers and the things we should be doing and the keepsakes and it oftentimes becomes another obligation for us as moms when Mother's Day is really supposed to be a joy to a day to feel joyful and celebratory. So the question is, why do so many women secretly feel overwhelmed, resentful, emotional, guilty, sad, or exhausted by it? If you have felt any of those things around Mother's Day, you're gonna enjoy this episode. As shared, this year marked my 16th Mother's Day. I actually had to go back and count that because my oldest son is 15. So I was like, wasn't this my 15th or my 16th? But 16th Mother's Day as a mom. And I finally admitted something to myself this year. And it's really that Mother's Day is so freaking complicated. Again, I had several conversations with friends and with clients this past week just about the stress that they were feeling, about the obligations and the expectations and the events. May already is for so many of us that are in the thick of motherhood, a very, very busy season as we are coming into spring, anticipating summer, wrapping up school years, and here we throw on this holiday that we are supposed to be celebrated. And it oftentimes feels like one more burden. And the more women that I talk to, the more that I realize that so many of us are carrying so much emotional weight this time of year. So today I really want to share with you three reasons why Mother's Day can feel so emotionally complex, especially for the ambitious, high-achieving moms I know so many of you can relate to, and what we can begin to do differently. So even though Mother's Day has passed here in 2026, you can start to think about okay, and how would I do this differently? So this truly can become a day that celebrates me, that celebrates you. The first reason why Mother's Day can feel so complex and complicated is oftentimes there are these amplified expectations. It often becomes another performance instead of actual restoration, right? It's like, what's the event going to be? Who's gonna prepare what? We need to celebrate both ourselves, but also celebrate our own mothers and grandmothers and our own mothers-in-law. And really, there are just so many different layers to this. There are family obligations, there are family traditions that we feel like we quote need to carry on. These might include extended family brunches. So, like events that actually take lots and lots of time. There's also this pressure, I think, to make memories and then the pressure to also just be grateful for all that we have. But really, even when, you know, someone such as my gracious howitzman said, let me take care of this, let me plan this. There can be so much emotional and labor and planning that still comes into this. As we oftentimes want to make everyone else happy. And so, for many moms, Mother's Day becomes one more thing to manage. Another reason that this I think surfaced for me this year in my 16th Mother's Day is just over a week ago, my husband said, So for Mother's Day, we're thinking about going to brunch with my mom, and then we'll host family at our house. And that's what we have done the last several years. And so there was just an expectation that that's how we would do it this year. And I think that I maybe emotionally was hurt a little bit and that actually I want you to reach out to me. What do I, as the mother in this family, want to do? And it actually led to a really beautiful conversation where I was able to reflect on the feelings that were coming up, the emotions that were coming up, to recognize wait a second, if this day is about me, what do I actually want? You know, I think back to eight or 10 years ago when I was really in the thick of it, younger kids. Again, my kids at time of recording right now are 15, 12, and 10. And so when they were just toddlers and younger kids, I really was in a space, and this is when I was in the depths of my second round of burnout, operating a very big fitness franchise and looking like I had everything together on the inside or outside, but on the inside, it just I did not feel that way. When Mother's Day is Mother's Day came, all I wanted to do was escape, truthfully. I wanted alone time. And I don't know if it's my big personality or just needing to actually ask what I needed. And I would take it. I would leave for the entire day, maybe even overnight. I'd go to coffee shops or on hikes. And I remember thinking back to that time, actually just really feeling lonely, where it's like, but I should be wanting to spend time with my family. But I was just so overwhelmed, so exhausted that I needed that space and I took it. And then there was the guilt around wanting that distance from my family on a day that I should be celebrating who I am in relation to that family. And so I just share this with you because if you had a complicated and challenging Mother's Day this past weekend or whenever you're listening to this, know that you're not alone. There are so many things that tie into this. And I do think that it really starts with, again, just the expectations that are put on us, but also the expectations that we put on ourselves. Again, conversation has come up in our YRL community this past week regarding this, where, you know, just kind of talking through like different community members who really wanted to just kind of escape and do their own thing and being able to give themselves permission to take that space for themselves. Or I'm I'm thinking of another client who her mother-in-law was kind of like dictating the schedule and being able to then identify what my clients' needs were and be able to set some boundaries and be able to confidently articulate and be regulated enough in nervous system and mind and body to be able to share, hey, here's actually what we're choosing to do this year, or I'm choosing to do, or what I want, and really working through releasing feeling guilty for asking what we want. That's the type of deep work that we do in our YRL community is how do we get back to truly knowing ourselves, trusting ourselves, knowing what we want. So then we can ask for it, then we can protect ourselves, then we can go after what it is we truly desire. So, what if Mother's Day wasn't actually about just performing motherhood well enough, but really honoring what you genuinely need in this season? Because as I shared 10 years ago, I really needed space because I was like constantly with my kids, physically, emotionally. Whereas this past year, I actually chose something different. And I'll share that in just a little bit, but it truly was on my own terms. And this really leads me into the second layer of complexity that comes around Mother's Day, is that Mother's Day often brings up so much grief and really is a time which can be really challenging to question kind of our identity. There are so many different forms of grief that I think when we take the time to slow down and tune inward. I'm curious if you can relate to any of these because as I took some time to again reflect on this Mother Day, where it felt different in that I was able to ask for what I need, I was able to have that difficult conversation with my husband to say, actually, can we have a conversation about what I want to do and why this isn't feeling good to me? So many different feelings of grief can come up. Just looking at a photo of my old kid, my older kids and comparing it to, again, 10 years ago when I had a baby in my lap and a toddler on my side is just there's the grief of our kids getting older, of really recognizing we're in maybe a different season. There could be the grief of, and I know I felt this so strongly again as I share that story from about 10 years ago, is that motherhood not feeling how I how we expected it to be, right? We expected it to be fun and joyous, and really we find ourselves in states of exhaustion and depletion. It could be that we're potentially grieving younger versions of ourselves, really questioning our identity. I I've I've worked with moms for over a dozen years now, and just so many of us get caught up in the identity of motherhood, is that comes up on Mother's Day because again, we're celebrating the mom piece of us, but really taking a step back to recognize what are those other pieces of my identity? Which pieces am I missing? Which ones do I want to kind of bring out? Yes, motherhood can be such a strong piece of our identity, and it's only one piece of our identity. I know for many, Mother's Day can also bring up grief in terms of if we've lost a mother, if they've passed on, as well as if maybe our own mother, we have a complex relationship with them and what that means, and just grieving the mom that maybe we wish we had had. There could be strained relationships with your own mom, or the number of conversations that I've had within our YRL community about just the complex dynamics of relationships with our mothers-in-law for those that have do you have a partner or we've been married, and just really coming to terms with how sometimes those can be beautiful and flourishing. I feel super, super grateful to have actually two mother-in-laws that I just they see me for who I am and I see them for who they are. And it's a great relationship. And I know that's not the case for all. I know motherhood often can bring up grief too for moms or women who are wanting to be moms who maybe struggle with infertile infertility. There's also just again acknowledging the state that we are currently in. If you're in a state of depletion, of burnout, of invisible emotional exhaustion, oftentimes coming upon this holiday can just amplify these. So if you can relate to any of these, know you're not alone. And again, I think for many, many women that I have the privilege of working with and supporting in this journey of being an ambitious mom is maybe you're actually grieving what you thought motherhood would feel like. I'm thinking to another client who has two kiddos with special needs. And she absolutely, of course, loves and adores her children and is building the best life for them and for herself and her family. And she grieves that this is not how she she pictured motherhood. And that is okay. I recently shared to my email list and on my Instagram platform just this photo of me and my three kiddos from I think it was exactly 10 years ago. Yeah, because Charlie, my youngest, who's now 10, was just a couple months old. She was born in February, so that makes sense. And then my two boys, one was a taller, one was about five. And I have carried on, despite now my kids getting older and not necessarily wanting to. Each year I've been taking a photo of me and the three kiddos. And this year I looked at them and I have these grown beings who are each their their individual, beautiful selves who are really just flourishing, challenging still in their own ways. But when I look back to that photo of myself from 10 years ago, it was the first Mother's Day where I was a mom of three. Those who, well, motherhood in general is a wild bride. I think once you have three or more kiddos, you go into, you move from kind of man to man to zone zone defense, if you will. And I take a look at that picture where I have a big smile on my face and the kiddos are just kind of being kids again in that picture. I think they're like five, two and a half and just a couple months old. And that was a season of my life where so many women looked at me. I was a leader within this fitness franchise that I owned and said, wow, Megan, you have it all together. Like, how do you do it? And I would smile and nod because on the outside I did look put together. But on the inside, I was so full of overwhelm. I was pretending, I was burnt out. And I really just didn't feel like myself. And so thinking back to where I was in that photo and just my own kind of healing and personal development journey, and then to reflect back on this Mother Day this past weekend, where again, it started with kind of some some tough, uncomfortable conversations with my own husband about expectations and what it was I actually wanted. It ended up being a beautiful day where I actually did decide, yes, I wanted to do the family brunch. And I did, we love hosting family and hosting friends at our house. And so, you know, my initial thought was, well, I didn't choose this, so now I'm gonna be like resentful about it. And it's like, no, I actually love spending time with those people. So we did, and kind of sandwiching the day with those two family events. I also gave myself permission to take that solo time that I craved. I got out for my paddle board early in the morning. I actually took a couple hours to visit my own mom, who I do have a complex relationship with. I sat at a coffee shop for just an hour and just was. And so just, you know, reflecting back on the progress, I invite you to start to think about, maybe take a couple minutes to reflect. Like, what was this past Mother's Day for you? What things did fill your cup, truly filled your cup? If you take again that that bird's eye view, if you step out of your own life and which things were stressful or you wouldn't have chosen, how might you do things differently? It can be really, really powerful. So, again, second point here, just in terms of that Mother's Day can bring up so much grief and so many other emotions, is that it it oftentimes can sometimes act like an emotional mirror where it might reveal either unmet needs, exhaustion, resentment, longing, you know, it might pull out some of these complex relationships that that we we have in our lives, which there's nothing wrong with that because relationships in general are dynamic and tend to be complex. And I think it does come back to how are you showing up for you? Not just going along, not just living on autopilot, not just doing the thing because that's what your husband or your mother-in-law or your sister or whoever planned for Mother's Day, but you being able to truly say yes to you. And I think that there's one final reason that Mother's Day can feel so complicated. And it is because of this. I think so many moms, I would I was gonna say I'd argue for moms who are in the thick of it with like younger children or school-age children who have just been pouring into their kids, but I've also had conversations with older moms or even moms who have become grandmas or moms whose kids are out of the house, where oftentimes many women don't actually know what they want. And so as you reflect back on this past Mother's Day, I invite you to start asking yourself, what it is that you actually wanted this year? How hard does that question feel to even just like sit and ponder with? It can actually be really uncomfortable. And I know when I was in the thick of it, like again, 10 years ago, amidst like being in the crazy with young kids, I actually didn't know. I didn't know what I wanted. All I knew was that I didn't want the feelings I was having in that season. Again, we as women have been conditioned to prioritize everyone else's needs first, that sometimes we get so disconnected from ourselves to actually know what we want. So if you're in that space, no, I see you and sending you love and healing, and know that you're not alone. We do get disconnected from our desires and our preferences. And again, I think so much of this stems from because we have spent so much time pouring into our kids, taking care of everyone else, making sure that we don't ruffle any feathers in terms of upsetting our mother or our own mother-in-law, that we have lost touch with ourselves. And this is an invitation and opportunity for you. Even though this Mother's Day just passed, you can take some of these lessons and ideas as we come into the next holiday or for next Mother's Day, is to really think about what it is that you want. And so, as I shared after the car conversation, that actually was a trigger for me again when my husband said, Hey, I was thinking this for Mother's Day. And again, out of all goodness of heart, and he genuinely wanted to, you know, do things that that made me happy. But when I was able to reflect on what it actually, what I actually wanted, it was that combination of both having some time with family and also being able to say, peace out, I'm going to do my own thing right now. And again, this is such evolution from where I was just a handful of years ago, where again, I think so many of us, especially ambitious high achievers, we put on that face that, yep, things are fine, things are perfect. Let me just, let me just check the boxes, let me just do it, I'll move through. And then we get through Mother's Day and then we're right into summer and we continue on this kind of never-ending cycle of just going with how it has been. This really is an opportunity and an invitation for you to start stepping into that life that you actually want, the things that you desire, the things that you get curious about. That is stepping into what I call your rock star life. So I'm not saying you should want to spend Mother's Day alone, or spending Mother's Day alone is bad. Really, what I'm saying is you get to intentionally choose what fills your cup. You get to choose that. Now, does it mean we always get to do it? Not necessarily, because we then once we once we get once we get clear on what it is we actually want, then we get to choose is this something I want to move forward with, either set some boundaries or ask for what I need, or is it not that important? Or I just want a piece of it. Again, you get to choose. I actually just recently had a conversation with one of my clients who was reflecting on this past Mother's Day. And she's like, you know, Megan, I'm so proud of myself. I actually took time. I went to the coffee shop and I intentionally chose to catch up on some of my work. She's like, and then I found as I was doing my work, I was actually kind of whining about it, like, man, I wish I wasn't doing this right now. And it just led to a beautiful conversation of curiosity in terms of when we intentionally choose, are they things that we actually want to be doing? And in this case, I really invite my client to think about was there a different way that maybe we could reframe that story in terms of it's not something you have to do and need to be bitter about, but you know, you get to do and that you're choosing to do. So this coming week maybe isn't as stressful. Or maybe it's recognizing kind of the whining and the bitterness about it is I thought that by intentionally choosing it would make me feel good, but really I wanted to just be taking a nap on the grass or whatever it might be. So as you take time to reflect back on your Mother's Day this past year and how you want to go into this holiday. And I would say every day in terms of working to put yourself and your needs first, I want to remind you that healing looks like really just becoming honest with what you need and working to take what you need, ask for what you need, and release some of the guilt that's associated with that. Again, we could go down a tangent when it comes to guilt. You could take a look at some of our past episodes on guilt, but I want to remind you that every single woman listening right now, you are somebody's daughter. That is a complex relationship in terms of having your own mother. Again, whether that mothering relation, that relationship with your own mother is one that has been joyful or if it's been one that's been complex. Oftentimes we as moms are also mothering others in invisible ways that people aren't seeing. So it is mothering our own children, but it's also how we step up in other ways. I think that this is a friendly reminder that we don't need perfection on these holidays. It's really tuning into what do you want? And if it is just low-key with no plans, how do you start to articulate that for yourself? Because we need honesty, we need compassion, we need choice. And those are things that you have control over and that you can choose. You know, one of my mentors always says, Life is just made up of thousands of choices. We get to choose to be complacent and just do the things we've been doing. We also get to choose when we want to start moving the dial in the direction that we are actually wanting to live. So, what do you want your next Mother's Day to feel like? What do you want to feel? What might you need more of? What things maybe do you want to release and let go of? Are there any expectations that maybe you want to release? Maybe you do choose to do the family brunch, but you're gonna let go of the expectation that it's all gonna be rainbows and butterflies, and that there might be awkward. Conversations, or you might need to excuse yourself. This can look for you how you want it to be. You have that power within you, my friend. And believe me, I see you. That's what this episode is about, just in terms of how complicated this can be. So I invite you to take a couple minutes to maybe journal or meditate on just reflecting on this past Mother's Day and then starting to set that vision forward for how might this look different, be different moving forward. Because my friend, you have the power to change. You have the power to step into your most rock star life. And of course, if you ever need or want support on that, let's hop on a quick call. I can share with you more about our YRL, your Rockstar Life community, which is just a beautiful space where women are saying yes to taking those steps forward, to challenging some of the norms and expectations, to setting boundaries, to shifting expectations, and to truly stepping in that woman that you are wanting to become. All right. Happy late Mother's Day to you all. And I look forward to seeing you on our next episode here on The Rockstar Mom. If I don't see you before then, make it a great day. Thank you so much for tuning into the Rockstar Mom podcast. If today's episode resonated with you, here's how we can keep this momentum going. First, be sure to subscribe to the show so you never miss an episode. Next, I'd be so grateful if you took a moment to leave a five-star review on Apple Podcasts. Your feedback helps us reach even more women who are ready to live more intentional, fun-filled lives. Lastly, please share your insights on social media and be sure to tag me at Megan Caldwell TV Active so we can connect and inspire other rock stars to live their fast lives too. Again, I am so glad that you are here, and I'll see you next time.