Ep 39 | Super Mom vs. ROCKSTAR Mom: How to Create a Life You Actually Love

You know the moment: the kids get where they need to go, the emails are answered, dinner actually happens, and you finally fall into bed… but instead of feeling proud, you feel drained and oddly dissatisfied. 

That disconnect is not a personal failure. 

It is a sign you’ve been operating under the supermom myth, where your worth gets tied to productivity, perfectionism, and keeping everyone else afloat.

In this week's episode Megan (a mom of three and a two-time burnout survivor) is breaking down the difference between being a “supermom” and becoming a “ROCKSTAR mom.” 

A ROCKSTAR mom is not a mom who does less. She is a mom who lives with intention, where her insides match her outsides. Megan talks about why rest does not have to be earned, how support is a strength, and why fun and play are essential parts of real wellness for high-achieving working moms.

Megan also shares a high-level walk-through of her ROCKSTAR Mom framework which you don't want to miss! 

If you’re ready to stop running on empty and build more harmony in motherhood, work, and life, this is your roadmap.

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➡️ Are you ready to get into action? Sign up for your Free Rockstar Mom Breakthrough call --> www.megancaldwellpdx.com

➡️ Download your free 7-minute Rockstar Mom Morning Reset 

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➡️ AND Please subscribe to the podcast now to join our ROCKSTAR community and begin your journey towards living a life with more clarity, energy, peace of mind and FUN!  

➡️ Did you REALLY love this episode.  We'd love it if you took 2 minutes to rate this show and leave a 5 star review.  That's how even more moms are able to find us. 🙏

Transcript

Welcome To Rockstar Mom

SPEAKER_00 0:00

You are listening to the Rockstar Mom, a podcast for high achievers who are ready to get off of autopilot and live a life with more intention, peace of mind, and happiness. This is a space to expand, dig deep, get clear, and take action towards living your most authentic, aligned life. I'm Megan Caldwell. As a mom of three, two-time burnout survivor and empowerment coach and speaker, I've cracked the code on what it actually takes to thrive at work and home, ditch perfectionism and people pleasing, get your schedule under control, and live with more ease. So you've got more time and energy to do the things you love without the mom guilt. It's time to get out of your head and into action. Now is the time to live your most rock star life. Let's go. Can

When Productivity Still Feels Empty

SPEAKER_00 0:53

I ask you something? Have you ever had one of those days where you absolutely crushed everything on your to-do list? You got the kids to where they needed to go, you got all of your work done. It seemed to go smoothly and seamlessly. You answered the emails, you signed the kid up for camp, you made dinner, a dinner that everyone actually ate. Well, I'm not sure if that's really realistic. You checked all of the boxes, and then you climbed into bed completely exhausted and thought, why doesn't this feel better? Why do I still not feel good? If so, then today's episode is for you. I want to talk to you a little bit about the difference between being a super mom and being a rock star mom.

The Supermom Myth And Its Cost

SPEAKER_00 1:33

I want to take you back, oh my goodness, probably about 10 years or so ago, I was part of a local mom's group, and there were probably like 80 women in this group, and it was a lovely time to connect, and it was faith-based, and it was one of those spaces where I showed up where I wasn't in leadership position because I was attending this group alongside operating my fitness franchise, where I was guiding hundreds of women. So it was such a breath air to show up to a space and be able to just go in, connect, and receive. And on that given day, we had a guest speaker come and she really helped kind of flip the perspective for me on something that I was struggling with. At the time, I had three young kids, ages five, two and a half, and probably just like a newborn or a couple months old. And I was really struggling to hold it all together. And she got up there and she put a slide on the screen that showed one of those like pictures of like a mom with like, I don't know, like 12 or 15 hands, like holding all the things, doing all the things, baby strapped onto the chest. And it was this illusion of the super mom where we again have been taught and conditioned that we can do it all. And somewhere along the line the way, so many of us learned that being a good mom, being a great mom, meant doing more. Being able to, if you will, check all those things off of the to-do list, being available to everyone, saying yes all the time, holding our shit together all the time. Being a super mom is anticipating everyone's needs and being productive and being selfless and being everything to everyone. And the thing is, the problem is that we weren't failing at this whole concept of being a super mom. The problem is that many of us have become so incredibly successful at something that was never designed to fulfill us. Because truth be told, doing more is not gonna fill that cup if we're trying to fill something that there's void inside of us. So this is where the big difference between super mom and being a super mom and being a rock star mom and living your most rock star mom life, I really see a difference in the in the two. Where a supermom was really something we were conditioned to think about, we're able to do it all. Whereas a rock star mom, we're not necessarily doing it all, but we can have it all. Let me break this down for you. We really have to start by asking ourselves the question: so, how do we move away from this whole concept of being the super mom and doing all the things and wearing all the hats and holding our shit together to really becoming a rock star mom? And that's exactly why I created the Rockstar Mom framework. Because I recognize that there was this disconnect. And this is what the woman was sharing on the screen was like, you don't actually have to do it all. Again, this whole concept of again, I'm just gonna name it as supermom today is where we tie our worth to what we do or what we achieve. Supermoms often we're superheroes, right? We put everyone else's needs first, and rest has to be earned. So many often have, and this is a sign of recovering perfectionists. If I don't do it, it won't get done right. And more effort is the answer. Again, thinking back to that visual that was up on the screen in this presentation, it was literally like this mom in one hand she had like a broom, in another hand she had like the computer ordering the meals, on another, and was just doing it all. Oftentimes we have that that mask put on where we look successful from the outside, but internally you may feel overwhelmed, resentful, exhausted, disconnected, feeling like you're just going through the motions stuck on autopilot. I know that feeling all too well because I've been there. I've been through two rounds of burnout as a working mom. And it's hard. It's hard when people from the outside say, Oh my goodness, you do it all. How do you do it all? But on the inside, you feel depleted. That was me at the height of my last career owning and operating a fitness franchise. I would have women on a weekly basis look at me and say, Megan, you have it all together. How do you do it? And I was in a season of shift and transitioning learning, and my only response was to either smile and nod or say, I don't really know. But I did know. I was sacrificing my own well-being to hold everybody else's stuff together. All of my kids, my partner, my clients, everyone. And that's when I got curious after my second round of burnout. I said, How do we actually make this life work for us? Where we can feel so fulfilled and energized and internally at peace. And so we can be more present with our kids and still do the things we love. We don't have to sacrifice the things we love because we have too much on our plate. How do we actually do more of them? So welcome in the Rockstar Mom.

What A Rockstar Mom Really Means

SPEAKER_00 6:21

And again, this is a concept, this is a framework, the Rockstar Mom framework that I've developed over the last many years, where rock star moms believe your worth is not tied to productivity. That your own desires, needs, wants, not only do they matter too, but they're actually the most important thing. As you've probably heard me say before, fun isn't frivolous. Fun is actually an essential part of our own well-being. So, how do we get more fun and joy and play back into our lives? We lean in and we recognize we don't have to do this alone. Support is actually a strength. And that what we as high-achieving moms really want is more alignment, is more authenticity, is more deeper connection. And this is more important than perfectionism. So, this is the work that I do helping guide women like you is stepping away from these tendencies of people pleasing and perfectionism and really stepping into a life that you truly love. You know, I do a lot of speaking engagements, and oftentimes when I'm doing podcast interviews on other people's podcasts, they'll say, So, Megan, what exactly does it mean to you to be a rock star mom? And the the simplest way for me to say that is being a rock star mom is when your insides match your outsides, where you feel so internally content, at peace, are able to tap into the present, live in a space of joy, all of these things that are most important to you. And we're able to showcase that on the outside. So it's not us saying this this quote balance between my work and showing up as a mom or in my relationship, I've got to figure it out perfectly. But really, it's about living in alignment, living with more of a sense of harmony. Rockstar moms still achieve. They still achieve, they still either pour into whether it be their career or their passion projects. Rockstar so deeply, but they realize that maybe the most important form of love is that of self-love. So they start taking their power back by taking care of themselves. They show up and they're able to show up fully because they are constantly not only pouring into themselves, you've heard it before, put your oxygen mask on first before you tend to those around you, right? Fill your cup first. But they have truly learned about what's most important and how to take what's called value-aligned action. So again, she's showing up even more fully and she's not sacrificing herself in the process. And so the question is how do we move from this again, quote, super mom, the one who does it all, but does it all at her own expense, to really becoming what I call again a rock star mom. And that's exactly why I created the Rockstar Framework. So

Framework Part One: Clarity Essentials

SPEAKER_00 9:07

I just want to share with you, just kind of high level the three main components of the Rockstar Mom framework. And it starts with the foundational layer, which is called the Rockstar Mom Essentials. And this is all about helping you gain clarity. One of the number one things that I see women lack is they know they want change. They know the way they're operating on autopilot or on that constant hamster wheel or in these constant states of depletion are not serving them, but they haven't fully named what it is they truly want. Who they wanna be, how they want to feel, how they want to show up. And it really takes getting clear on your priorities, values, and vision in order to move forward. Because if you don't know what matters most, everything will continue to feel important. So you've got to actually take an audit in terms of where your life is at right now. And in my program, we take a look at 11 different areas of wellness because it's not just about physical health or mental health. We know that. It's really about your holistic well-being. And once you've gained clarity, we know that clarity creates confidence. We know that clarity helps us create boundaries and stick to those boundaries. It helps you stop living by default and start living your life more on your terms within your power. So, my question for you is what do you actually want in this season of life? Take a moment to just maybe pause, reflect on that, maybe write that down and journal on it afterwards. What do you actually want in this season? Majority of the women that I talk to don't say things like they want to do more or achieve more. We've done so much of that in our earlier years. What is it that you actually want? The

Framework Part Two: Intentional Action

SPEAKER_00 10:49

second level kind of of the Rockstar Mom framework is all about action. This is about helping you actually get out of your head and start taking those steps forward. In our YRL community, a Rockstar Life community, which is my main group coaching program, this is what it's about. Again, we can read the books, we can listen to the podcasts, we can journal on it all day, but what actually helps you get into action? And with this, I invite women to step into seven different Rockstar Mom practices because that's what this is about. When we get, when we talk about getting into action, it's about starting to really practice a new way of living. It's not flipping a switch to a quick fix to all of a sudden the chaos is no longer happening in my life. Let me be clear. At the time of recording, I'm in week two of summer vacation and my kids are all over the place with like hanging out with friends and social events, and I've got work to do, and the dogs are bark, like there's still chaos going around, and life continues to happen, and I can start to be more intentional and take action that is gonna allow me to move in the direction I wanna be. Which for me, it's about being able to continue to kick ass in my career and build my business and support other women who are on their personal development journeys. And I also am working to be fully present with my kids when I'm not working. So again, getting into action and just a couple of these that I always like to kind of point out and plug and share with you. The first one is always about permission. So the first action is actually truly embodying and giving yourself permission to take care of you, to try things differently, to take that first step, to lean in, to get a little bit uncomfortable. The second most important thing is then this power of pause. Again, if we are so caught on the hamster wheel and constantly going and constantly hustling and constantly checking the boxes, and we never take a moment to breathe, it's hard to make change. So, in what ways can you slow down? This power of pause allows you to bring awareness to the situation because if we have awareness without any action, nothing changes. So bringing that awareness allows us to then intentionally take steps forward. And again, we are all about what I call value-aligned action. So our actions are in deep alignment with who you set out that you wanted to be. So, some kind of small examples of how you might get into action, or sometimes action is in action, is maybe saying no or scheduling and rest or protecting, say, your workouts. It could be, and this is something that we're practicing right now in my home, again, as we transition into summer with three school age kids, is creating family boundaries. What boundaries do I need as a work from home mom? What boundaries do my kids need to protect their energy so they can have the best summer yet? Another way that you could get into action, I have to say it in almost every episode, is how are you incorporating fun? Where is play? Where is the joy? We sometimes just gotta stop taking ourselves so seriously. So again, my friend, step one, clarity, step two, action. And

Framework Part Three: Sustainable Embodiment

SPEAKER_00 13:51

then step three is all about integration and embodiment. And in this phase or this piece of the Rockstar Mom framework, I really find that the action comes into what I call the Rockstar Mom Power Trio. This is where transformation becomes sustainable. You might be like many of the women I work with, where they come to me, where they're like, Megan, I know what to do, but I just can't seem to be consistent with it. Or I go on streaks where I do really, really well and then all of a sudden I fall off. The Rockstar Mom Power Trio, when you master these three elements, this is where long-term change comes. I've seen it in my own journey, having been on this journey now for about a dozen years, and I have helped many, many women step into true long-term change. It's identity change, it's shifting who you are. And this comes down to these three components of the power trio mindset mastery. What are the beliefs driving your behavior? And how do we start to shift those beliefs? Nervous system regulation and resiliency, again, if we are constantly operating out of a state of fight or flight, of constant overwhelm, you can't outthink that. We actually have to learn and practice bringing our nervous systems down so we can feel that internal sense of safety. And the third power trio is really coming up with practicing and iterating strategic habit systems and routines. Because again, having motivation isn't enough. It's about how do we make these practices, these routines, these habits as easy as possible so you can even on your worst day stick to some of those things that you know are gonna fuel you, are gonna lift you up, are gonna allow you to feel more rested or feel more energized or just feel good. Again, it's one thing to know what to do, but it's another thing to become the kind of woman who actually lives this way and lives this way naturally. It's who you are. That's embodiment.

Remove The Cape And Choose Alignment

SPEAKER_00 15:41

So as we bring this full circle, again, a rock star mom isn't a mom who does less. She's a mom who lives more intentionally. She isn't trying to do it all, but rather she's focused on what matters most. She says, I no longer want to chase perfection. That was a thing of the past. She's creating and living in alignment. And she isn't waiting for joy or rest for after the work is done. They're integrated into her day-to-day. She's bringing that fun factor along for the ride of her life. Again, we've got one precious life to live right now. So my question is, are you ready to jump in? Are you ready to live your most rock star mom life? Again, we don't have to wear those super mom capes anymore, those superhero capes that say, Yes, I am like an alternate mag magic being who can do it all. Yes, you are all magical, and you have so much ability and capacity, and we don't have to keep that cape on. It's time to remove the cape and step into your most authentic being. So, my question for you as we wrap up today is where in your life are you still trying to be a super mom? One of those moms who really does it all, who has trouble letting go? What specific areas of your life? And what would shift if you gave yourself permission to step into a life as a rock star mom instead? Again, it's not meaning that you're sacrificing your success or your career or the things that you enjoy, but really it's about learning more to live in alignment. Now, if you've you're realizing after this conversation today, know that you're not alone. If you're like, oh my goodness, wow, yes, I've been in that space. Nothing is wrong with you. We each are on our own journey and we step into making this long-term change when we are ready. And to be truth be told, you're never gonna be fully ready.

Free Tool And Coaching Support

SPEAKER_00 17:37

So if you're curious, if you're like, I just want to know like what are the next couple steps, I invite you to pop over to my website, MeganCaldwellPdx.com backslash morning reset. I've got a great free resource for you, which is just a quick, like literally quick five-minute tool that you can use to help you start to shift those cycles out of overwhelm. You can use this anytime, anywhere to help kind of decrease the nervous system. So then you have the capacity, those moments of pause to actually start to think about what does your most rock star life look like. And if you know that you are ready to actually like dive full in and realize at this point it's really, really, really hard, if not near impossible, to do alone. Know that we have an amazing community of bright, brilliant, high-achieving rock star women that choose to say yes and step into our YRL group coaching experience. Again, YRL stands for your rock star life. If you're interested in learning more about that, again, you can catch that on the website as well, MegancaldwellPdx.com. So, my friends, as we wrap up today, I want you to just remind yourself that you don't have to do it all. You can have it all. You can live a life that you truly love. It is time to stop running on empty and step into that most rock star version of yourself. It's been so fun connecting with you today. Again, if this has resonated with you, send me a message, send me an email, pop over and DM me on Instagram. Or if you know a mom who could appreciate or might get something out of this, please share it. And lastly, if you haven't already rated or left a review for our show, The Rockstar Mom, I'd so appreciate that, as that's how more women get to jump into our community, get to learn, get to truly start to learn what it takes to say yes to themselves. All right, my friends, until next time, I am cheering you on. Have an awesome rest of your day.

Subscribe Review And Share

SPEAKER_00 19:40

Thank you so much for tuning into the Rockstar Mom podcast. If today's episode resonated with you, here's how we can keep this momentum going. First, be sure to subscribe to the show so you never miss an episode. Next, I'd be so grateful if you took a moment to leave a five-star review on Apple Podcasts. Your feedback helps us reach even more women who are ready to live more intentional, fun-filled lives. Lastly, please share your insights on social media and be sure to tag me at Megan Caldwell PDX so we can connect and inspire other rock stars to live their fast lives too. Again, I am so glad that you are here, and I'll see you next time.