EP 34 | The Waiting Room: Why We Stay There Longer Than We Should

Have you ever spent so much time thinking about doing something that you accidentally convinced yourself you were doing it?

In this episode of Rebuilt Different, I talk about "The Waiting Room"—that space between where you are and where you want to be. The place where we're researching, planning, preparing, and waiting for the perfect time, more confidence, or a clearer plan.

The problem? Confidence usually doesn't come first. Action does.

If you've been waiting to make a change, start the thing, leave the situation, pursue the goal, or take the next step in your life, this episode is for you.

Because maybe you're not waiting for the right moment.

Maybe you're waiting to stop feeling uncomfortable.

And that moment may never come.

Transcript

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Lately I've been thinking about this idea of the waiting room. Not an actual waiting room. The kind of waiting room that we create in our lives. And the reason why I've been thinking about it lately is because I've spent a lot of time there myself. Not because I was lazy, not because I didn't want more for my life. Actually, the opposite. I have a lot of goals. I care a lot. I had plans. I had things that I wanted to do. But somewhere between wanting something and doing something, I got stuck waiting, and it made me wonder, what exactly are we waiting for? Let's get into it. Welcome back to Rebuild Different. I'm Epiphany Page, and today we're talking about something that I'm calling the waiting room. That space between where you are and where you want to be. Because I think most of us have spent time there. I know I have. And what fascinates me is most people in the waiting room are not lazy. They're not unmotivated, not incapable. In fact, most of them are very smart, self-aware, thoughtful, and constantly thinking of the future. So why do we stay there? Why do we keep postponing things that we genuinely want? And why does it sometimes feel like it's easier to think about a different life rather than build one? And I think one of the reasons why the waiting room is so comfortable is because it doesn't feel like doing nothing. You're researching, planning, thinking, preparing, learning, watching videos, making lists, making new lists because the first list was unorganized. And all that feels productive because technically you're doing something. But the problem is that planning and progress are related, but they're not the same thing. Because at some point it's gotta leave the notebook. And this is coming from someone who loves a good plan. I literally plan events for a living. That's what I do. So yes, I love a very detailed plan. Love a strategy, love a roadmap. But there have been times in my life where I spent so much time preparing that I actually convinced myself that I was already doing it. And then I started wondering why this happens. Because if we genuinely want these things, why is taking the first step sometimes so hard? But we're humans and we tend to prefer what's familiar. Even when that familiar thing isn't making us happy. Because familiar is predictable, and predictable is safe. And growth? Growth involves uncertainty. You don't know if it's gonna work out. You don't know if you'll succeed. You don't know if you'll get support. You don't know if you'll embarrass yourself. You don't know if you'll succeed. And your brain is gonna hear all of this and say, absolutely not. And sometimes staying where we are feels a lot safer than becoming somebody new. Even if we know that we would be happier on the other side. And I think a lot of us also spend a lot of time hanging out with our fantasy selves. You know the version. The version that has it all figured out. The version that's disciplined, confident, never procrastinates. I used to, well, I think I still joke with my friends, but I used to say, when I get my body together, when I start eating better, when I get bigger boobs, when I fix my face, it's over for these bitches. That was a waiting room. But here's the thing: your fantasy self is not actively building that life that you want. Your actual self is the version of you that's making those decisions today. Not someday, today. And I think that's where a lot of people get stuck, because they think that they need to become that person before they start. When in reality, you become that person by starting. And this is where I had to get honest with myself. For the longest, I told myself that I was waiting for the right time, or more information, a better plan, more confidence. But when I really looked at it, none of those things were actually missing. I had enough information to take a step or make a plan. Maybe not a perfect one, but enough to get started. So I started asking myself what I was really waiting for. And I think that the answer was discomfort. I was waiting to feel ready, waiting to feel certain, waiting for the fear to disappear. But spoiler alert, not usually how it works. We tend to think that confidence comes first. That one day we're gonna wake up and suddenly feel ready to take the leap. But most of the time, confidence isn't what gets you started. Confidence is what you earn after you've started. After you've taken that step, after you've survived that thing that you were worried about, after you've proven to yourself that you can handle more than you thought, action comes first, then confidence, then clarity, then momentum. I think another reason people get stuck, and I definitely did this too, is because they try to make that first step too big. We think, I'm gonna lose 50 pounds, I'm gonna write a whole book, I'm gonna start a business, completely change my life, and then our brains get immediately overwhelmed because you're thinking about how far you have to go. But what I've learned is momentum starts very, very small. One walk, one page, one application, one email, one conversation, one workout, one podcast reporting, one decision, one foot in front of the other. That's it. And I think sometimes we underestimate the power of small actions because they're not exciting. But most major life changes are built on a whole lot of boring decisions that nobody sees. So if you've been in the waiting room lately, this isn't me judging you, I've been there. Most people have, because the waiting room is human. But eventually there comes a point where you have to stop asking, when will I feel ready? and start asking, what's one small thing that I can do today? Not next month, not when life calms down, not when you're perfectly motivated, today. Because the people that I admire the most aren't fearless, they're not more confident than everybody else. They just stopped waiting for confidence before they started moving. And maybe that's the secret. Not giant leaps, not perfect plans. Just one step, then another, and then another. See you guys next week.