Hi everyone. Welcome back to a life in color. I am staring outside at a beautiful but very cold day. There is not a leaf left on any of those trees, but the sky is very blue and the light is kind of fleeting. We're so close to winter solstice, these days are getting very short. I have a little bit of a cold, that's why my voice, probably sounds a little bit raspy and a little lower. I actually don't mind when my voice sounds like this, but, I could do without the other symptoms. So I know that we are in the holiday season. Christmas is just right around the corner, and then New Year's, and then we are gonna be stepping into 2026. I have been thinking a lot lately about the seasons that we go through in life and how, how quickly they can change, or how you can suddenly realize that you're in a different season when you didn't even realize you were moving from one to another. And as I was reflecting and journaling, I ended up writing a piece that was about the seasons of life and seasons of change and how it feels and that piece inspired what ended up being this episode. Um. I wanna read you a lines, that helped me kind of name what I'm feeling and then we'll get into the meat and potatoes. I wrote as we inch toward a New Year. I've been thinking a lot about phases of life and how quietly they change. At the start of last year, our family still felt whole. There was a sense of stability, of abundance, of just living our lives without any awareness of how fragile that normal really was. We didn't know we were standing at the edge of a season. We never do. Looking back, that time feels like a different age entirely. We lived without the knowledge of what was coming, and I think that kind of innocence is something we only recognize once it's gone. Now, as we move forward, we've entered a new phase one marked by grief and absence, and a kind of breathlessness. I don't know what the season will bring or how long it will last. None of us ever really does, but for now, for those of us who are still here, we have each other and even in the midst of pain, that feels worth honoring. now, I will say that that journal entry or essay, whatever you wanna call it, inspired this episode, but this episode will not be about pain and grief entirely. This episode is going to be about seasons of change I wanna talk today about the feelings that that brings up and how we can stay open and curious about what's coming instead of closing off and focusing entirely on what hurts and what we've lost and what was. This year, to me, feels very much like a threshold year, like we are on the precipice of something new. I think a lot of things have fundamentally changed or in the process of changing for all of us. This doesn't feel like a breakdown necessarily. It doesn't feel like a crisis season to me, just a space in between what was and what hasn't arrived yet, and I wanna sit with that and try to process that a little bit. It brings for me a feeling of unsteadiness. A little bit of fatigue, when you're constantly having to adjust to change and to new realities that are whatever you're faced with. that constant adapting and trying to settle back into normalcy is a little bit exhausting. And I think it has created for me some emotional unpredictability. It is almost like I'm looking at a story, I'm like, I can see how this story would be written. And sometimes when you're reading a story, characters change, right? The plot shifts and some characters leave the story never to return, characters that are left have to settle into a new narrative. And find a way to move forward because the plot is gonna keep moving forward. That does not stop. So the characters that are left, regardless of the gaps that were left by the people who are no longer in the story, they have to find a way to recalibrate and move forward. And that's kind of what this feels like. We are in a phase of recalibration here at this house. And I think maybe as a country and as a world, that's also where we are. the landscape has shifted and changed enough that we are all potentially experiencing a sense of at least uncertainty. So let's talk about that. Let's talk about how to exist in this in-between time so that we can try to stay open and curious and ready for whatever awaits us in 2026 and beyond. I think perhaps some seasons are about clearing space, loosening expectations, changing the roles that we've been holding onto out of habit instead of because they are really serving us. And I think sometimes that clearing can feel like emptiness at first because there's nothing that has taken its place yet. And that feels scary, especially in a culture that's obsessed with momentum, right? It can feel like you've stopped and you don't know what new direction to go in, but that space doesn't have to be absence. Sometimes that space is just room for something new and then there's a period of waiting and not knowing. So some seasons are for not knowing on purpose. I'm starting to believe that not knowing can be an act of trust and refusing to rush toward an answer, especially when it's not clear that that answer is actually the correct one. That might actually also be a form of wisdom. there is something alive in these in between periods. And there's work happening, even if we can't name it yet. So there is momentum. It's just not the kind you're used to. Here we are at the very end of the year. Winter solstice has always been a time for me that signifies a turning inward. Everything outside is hibernating and going dormant for the next few months, and I, I want to do the same thing, but I don't want to turn inward and sort of fixate on what's wrong or what happened that caused pain. I wanna process that for sure. I wanna let that move through me, but I also want to clear out anything that is in the way of me feeling open and ready and clearheaded when the spring comes and when it's time to start embracing something new and maybe it's time to learn something new. We don't have hardly any control over many of the things that happen and will happen next, I do have control over how I will walk through this next season, how I will meet the moment, how I will react to the challenges and obstacles that come my way, how I will embrace the people around me. Let's talk about how to do that. How do we stay open and curious instead of reactive and closed off when we move through a period of change or in between liminal phase? How do we do that? it comes with slowing down. Taking a step back, noticing the tiny moments. The tiny moments of joy or of beauty, the things that bring you back to your body. Maybe touch something soft. Maybe put your feet up, sit next to the fire. Hold a cup of hot tea between your fingers or coffee, or a hot totty. Whatever makes you happy. this is a time we should all draw a little closer to the people around us who make us feel whole, who see us even when we lose sight of ourselves. I had a dear friend in college who you have sort of dramatic conversations sometimes and we were talking about some of the difficult things that were happening and I remember saying like, what if I just lose myself in this situation? What will happen? And they said. I will just be me until you're you again. And that's all it is. And that really struck me as all it takes sometimes is you just need people around you who know you well enough that they just, they will continue to be themselves and allow you to go through what you need to go through until you're back to you again. Or a newer version of yourself. So draw close to those people that are around you. We don't get to choose the season. We just get to choose how we walk through it. You don't have to know where this is going yet. You just have to stay present long enough to hear what this season is asking and to understand that the seasons are changing. In coming episodes, we'll talk about what we carry forward, how to meet the new season, and what to bring forth. But for now, this is enough. If you're in a season that feels unfamiliar or unsettled, I hope you know this. You're not behind. You're not broken. And you are not alone. Some of the most meaningful shifts in our lives happen before we have language for them, but eventually there's clarity and there's direction. I want this next season for all of us to be one where we all feel that we can show up as our full selves, and we all feel that we can allow the people around us to do the same. I wonder what the world would look like and what changes might happen if we all did that. If we gave ourselves grace and allowed ourselves the freedom to make mistakes, to not know the answer or the freedom to show some audacity in our choices, or even in our answers, our tone of voice. What if we just said the things that we think, not in a harmful way, just an honest way. And what if we invited the people around us to do the same thing without judgment, without anger and reaction, and just see what happens. I hope for that for everyone that we can move into this next season with our eyes wide open and our feet planted firmly on the ground Sure of our morals and our ethics and our values, and ready to stand in our truth and allow everyone else to do the same around us. Wouldn't that be a beautiful thing? Thank you for sitting with me in this moment. If this kind of reflection resonates, this is the work we do at a life in color. I hope you'll join us. Thank you.