Jess Vomund: Hummingbirds, Saying the Thing, and Everyday Wonder

What if the happiest people aren't the lucky ones, but the ones who choose it on purpose? Jess greets the hallway with hey, hi, hi while everyone else ducks eye contact, and she means it.

She and her husband Eddie met over a Memorial Day weekend at the pool, where she woke him from a nap to spray sunscreen on a stranger getting sunburned. Now they're raising three daughters whose names all start with A, chasing a new dog named S'mores around the house, and naming the hummingbirds at the feeder Kevin, Tutu, and Sally. Jess even fell for the emerald-bellied hummingbirds in St. Lucia and has tried to figure out how to bring them home to Missouri.

This one is about the small stuff that turns out to be the big stuff. The wonder you can fit into nine seconds at a window. The hobbies you finally have room for when the kids stop needing you every minute. And the quiet courage it takes to lift someone up instead of looking away.

Plus: the receptionist with the new haircut, the compliment Matt never said, and why he's still thinking about going back to leave the note.

Follow us today for some weekly joy.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Welcome back to a fiercer delight. I'm Matt, and this is a fiercer delight. Um the agenda for this show is kind of a non-agenda, but it's also looking at in this world, what is a deficit, which in many cases feels like happiness and joy, and then having conversations near or adjacent to those topics. And so I'm actually joined by someone today when I told other people that she was going to be on, they said, What took so long?

SPEAKER_00 0:26

That's not true.

SPEAKER_01 0:27

That is true. So this is Jess moment.

SPEAKER_00 0:29

Hi!

SPEAKER_01 0:30

It really is true. When I say this is about kind of joy or happiness, or kind of trying to find that or rediscover it or fight for it in our lives. But I did. I told a few people, in fact, one person popped by this space. We're recording in new space, we're in an office right now. Popped by the office. I said, We're setting up microphones. They said, Well, who's coming in? And I said, you. And I said what it was about. And that's exactly what he said. He goes, Oh, what took so long? And also I'm not following that. Because he's supposed to come on next week.

SPEAKER_00 0:56

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01 0:56

So I don't know if that's good reputation or bad reputation.

SPEAKER_00 0:59

I think people are really kind. And uh I honestly, I I'd seen the previews and the sign at Chapel and everything, had not listened to it yet. And I am incredibly filled with stage fright right now. The people who have been on are so good. They're so good. I'm like, man, we just have a lot of good people here, and I don't deserve this seat. So thank you.

SPEAKER_01 1:23

But this is you, like, um, and it could be fake, and if so, we can talk about that. It could be something you have to work for, it could be something very natural. I don't know. But you are a person of exuberance, right? Yeah. Is that accurate? Yeah. So have you always been? Where did that come from? Like you're the person who didn't just say hi. You're like, hey, hey, hi, hi! Like you're going to be extra in the positive way. Yeah. Uh glass is there in front of us. It at least on the outward appearance has never once in your life, or at least that I've seen, been half empty. It is always half full. And maybe if we look at it, it's actually closer to three quarters full. Like you're gonna round up. You are a rounder up.

SPEAKER_00 2:01

Uh-huh. I I try.

SPEAKER_01 2:02

Has it always been that way?

SPEAKER_00 2:04

Uh I mean, I was thinking about this because listening to other people's stories, and I think, yeah. I mean, like I look at uh report cards growing up, always chatty, very friendly, good, good teammate. Uh I was a cheerleader, and I think my greatest joy right now is helping people, cheering people on, lifting people up, filling a need if I can. Um like I'd say my biggest pet peeve sometimes is, and it's a game, it's a really fun game that I play. Sometimes I play it with you and others. Uh just walking through the hallway here, uh, people try to like avoid eye contact and I'll like duck and be like, hi, hey, still here. Hi, good morning. Um I I mean, there's for sure times when I'm not like that, or I need to like refill and recharge. Everybody goes through peaks and valleys, but for the most part, I try to make a conscious choice to be a glass 80% full.

SPEAKER_01 3:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:10

So what refuels you or propels you, or in another question, and you can choose your adventure here. Um do you get people out?

SPEAKER_00 3:18

Uh sometimes. And then the thing that like fills it back up and recharges it is just being quiet with people. Like, especially my little people, the girls, Eddie. We got a new dog because our old dog passed away. And uh she is a people dog, like she holds your arm, forces it on you. And I thought, you know, we've been talking about kids and whatnot. I for a while I've been like, man, I am touched out. I think a lot of parents get that. I'm physically touched out. Um, and then we got this dog, and I'm like, oh, you you want to sit on me? Because my kids don't want to sit on me anymore. And I didn't realize how much I that actually brought me joy while it exhausted me. Yeah, it brings me a lot of joy to just be like near something that has life.

SPEAKER_01 4:04

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00 4:04

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 4:05

That's how we say that right now with our nearly two-year-old. He's at the stage where he's the most like a puppy that he's ever gonna be.

SPEAKER_00 4:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:13

He's supposed to be led along and then he crawls up in your lap, and then like if you hear it get real quiet, you know he's tearing something up in the other room, you go find him, but it's like just sweet and good. Yeah. And that feels good. I was thinking you said Eddie. Eddie is your husband. Eddie is great. I really like Eddie.

SPEAKER_00 4:32

No, he's really great.

SPEAKER_01 4:33

Eddie is different than you, or at least projects different than you. Was that on purpose?

SPEAKER_00 4:38

Uh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:39

Maybe I'm misreading it. The Eddie I I've seen Eddie wear crazy costumes, and I know Eddie is like has some extraversion in him, but he is just like a quieter disposition about it, about his extraness.

SPEAKER_00 4:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:51

And so did did that attract you all to each other? Is that in the home dynamic?

SPEAKER_00 4:56

Is it like that's where you go for a little bit of quiet companionship or yeah, and I I it's such a positive for me. And sometimes, I mean, couples are not always on the same page. It drives me crazy too, because like if there's a situation or a discussion that needs to be had, I'm like, we need to hash it out right now. And he's like, hey, everything works out, it's fine. Um I mean, I I had a lot of like not wonderful relationships before Eddie, and was I think like was attracted to really big extroverted personalities like myself, and then just found like that really unfulfilling at the end of the day. Um and met him in a season where I was like, man, this isn't working. And also like did not want to have a relationship in the least. Um, and he had been working at Target then, he was in Kansas City. Um, we had some mutual friends and met Memorial Day weekend at the pool, and he was actually napping. And I was like, Hey, bud. You woke him up. I did, yes. He was he was getting sunburnt. And so again, I don't know how to do anything but help people. And I'm like, hey, bud, hey, you're you get a little sunburnt. And we went out, hung out a few times after that, and like literally inseparable.

SPEAKER_01 6:16

Hold on, I'm not done. You can't just leave me. I gotta, I'm a story person, and so you put me in this awkward story. You wake him up from a nap in a pool. Yeah. So how did he receive that? Did he put sunscreen on? Uh did you put sunscreen on?

SPEAKER_00 6:30

I sprayed him with sunscreen. I wasn't I didn't know him, I wasn't gonna touch him. Okay, I was just wondering like, was this a weird love at first sight where it's like I think it was like weird awkward at first sight, and he's like, Who who is this loud girl? What what if anybody knows Eddie? He's like he likes to grunt a lot.

SPEAKER_01 6:47

It was like Okay, so he grunted at you, yeah, and then you sprayed him off the sunscreen and then you happily ever after.

SPEAKER_00 6:55

Yeah, mostly happily ever after. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:58

Um it's like a good uh how'd you meet story.

SPEAKER_00 7:01

Yeah, it's it's fun because it's around like my favorite time of the year, the kickoff to summer. So it's like every summer is a little nostalgic for us. And uh we at least I do. Eddie, Eddie is very uh compassionate and giving and gives into um all of my crazy whims. And so we spend a lot of time in the summer together, sort of unplugged, the family and I, um on the water, whether that's at a pool, whether that's at the lake, whether it's at the beach. Um, so a lot of sunscreen, still like a novelty in our life.

SPEAKER_01 7:37

I like to think of like the Christian creation story. It's got Adam and Eve in there. And Adam is asleep, he goes into a deep sleep and he kind of wakes up and Eve's there. And then Eve is called helper in our translations, but like closer to Hebrew would be like lifesaver. Like she's there to save your life, dude. And so I almost think like you guys live the very Garden of Eden thing where he's asleep, all of a sudden he grunts, uh, Adam, and it's like, Who are you? And she's like, You're getting burned. Let me help you. You're spray you down and hear off and running East of Eden. Uh, so you guys have a very poetic love story.

SPEAKER_00 8:11

I hadn't thought about it like that, and that's also very generous and very kind.

SPEAKER_01 8:15

Uh something else you said, kind of roundabout way, is you got a dog in some ways to fill the void that has been left by your children being non-puppies anymore. Oh yeah. They're off and running. Uh-huh. Um, they're still with you, you're still guiding them, you're loving them, but in a way where parenting changes. You're making like micro edits on their life rather than keeping them alive.

SPEAKER_00 8:39

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_01 8:39

And so how has that been? And what are you doing with that? Is that hard? Is it a challenge? Are you finding ways through that? It's not like empty nest because they're still there, but it is like empty lab.

SPEAKER_00 8:50

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, so I don't know if you experienced this as a parent. Um, our girls for reference, uh, at the time that we're having this conversation. 10, almost eight, and Adrian loves to tell everyone she's four and a half. She's not quite. Um, but did you realize like when you had children that they were going to be different people in and of themselves?

SPEAKER_01 9:12

I mean, they are massively different. I think, I think I knew the awareness that people say their kids are way different. It's kind of like what you do before your parent as like, I will never be the parent who does this, this, and this. Like, you don't actually buy it.

SPEAKER_00 9:25

Also.

SPEAKER_01 9:25

And then you undo all of that. Like, I will never put my kids in front of screens to be a babysitter. And it's like, yeah, I will. I'll do that every day that I can. And so I think it's the same deal. I'd hear people say the kids are so different. And I was like, Well, I'm gonna pretty much nurture them in the same environment, they're getting the same genes. They're not gonna be that different.

SPEAKER_00 9:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:42

And they are markedly different.

SPEAKER_00 9:44

They're so different. Yeah. They my girls, they they look identical to one another, and they all have a name that starts with A. God bless. That was a that was a choice that I'd redo.

SPEAKER_01 9:55

Um why? Because you just say the wrong one all the time. All the time. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:58

All the time. This morning, even.

SPEAKER_01 10:00

To be fair, my kids' names aren't anywhere close to each other, and I do the same thing. Yeah. And I I will cross gender lines.

SPEAKER_00 10:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:07

So I'll call, I'll throw a hope out there for an Aussie or vice versa. And it's like, those aren't close. The one's a little boy, one's a little girl. Like, there's a lot of differences here.

SPEAKER_00 10:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:15

So yeah, I don't think it was the yay that doomed you. It's just our brains.

SPEAKER_00 10:18

Yeah, it's our brains. Um, but yeah, it's it's crazy because Audrey, she's 10 right now, and I'm letting her make mistakes. And sometimes we had our first like hard lesson where we had to hurt her feelings recently. And that just that breaks your heart as a parent. Uh, she is she loves so deeply and so fiercely, and she's got little bursts of hormones coming in now, and so she can just be fierce now to you. Um, and she said something unkind, which is completely out of character for her, and uh we had to sit her down and have a hard conversation. I just had told her 48 hours before, I'm so proud of you for lifting your friends up. One of their moms sent me a message and told me that like, even though you guys don't hang out all the time, that you're like a really wonderful friend, they had left her out of something, as little girls will do, and Audrey lifted her up, noticed it across the playground and went and sought her out to lift her back up. And then we're at a softball game and she said something mean about somebody, and uh so we had to sit her down and talk to her about that, and it's like, hey, I just told you a couple days ago, I'm so, so proud of you. Right now I am not, and had to let her sit in that lesson, and had to let me sit in that lesson because she's devastated, her heart's broken. She knows she knew like that she was in the wrong, she knew that she wasn't herself in that moment. Um and oh gosh, Matt, she was like, she was we were having this conversation um in my walk-in closet, and she was so quietly praying, please let mommy love me on the other side of that. And I was like, Oh, baby, baby, that's not the lesson here. Mommy will always love you, even when we're not proud necessarily, but part of my job is to help you grow into a human you can be proud of too. Um, and so we're gonna we're gonna have these conversations, and so yeah, I I don't know if I answered your actual question.

SPEAKER_01 12:19

No, I I mean sometimes we answer the questions, sometimes we answer better questions that weren't asked. I think that's a good one. I had something similar with one of my kids, and it bounced the right way eventually, but it was this conversation where like I am your dad and I would like to be your friend too. But right now, I cannot be your friend if you're gonna keep being this way.

SPEAKER_00 12:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:41

Now I will love you always, but I have to be your dad.

SPEAKER_00 12:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:46

And that one I can't choose. And so that means I have to restrict you and discipline you and talk harsh to you and try and get because you can't do these behaviors. Yeah. But I'd really love if you, you know, can live in this way, then we get to be friends too. And it's great if we can have both, and I think someday we'll get both. But for a second, I had to restrict the one so that the other could prevail. And it's such a crummy feeling for him, for me. But but it's one of those things, like, you gotta do it.

SPEAKER_00 13:13

You gotta do it.

SPEAKER_01 13:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:14

Yeah. And like because we're letting her make her mistakes, and because our youngest doesn't need our constant attention, I'm in a weird season where I'm like, oh wait, I'm a I'm a human in and of being a mom, separate from being a mom. Um, which has been a really I don't know, weird experience for me because um here at work all day long I'm in charge of programming, helping, supporting. There's an agenda all day long. And now now I'm like, oh, up until recently, there's been an agenda at the house too.

SPEAKER_01 13:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:50

Go home, get dinner ready, start baths, get bedtime, fall really tiredly into bed and hope my husband still loves me. You know, because it's just it's it's the best gift ever to be a parent, but it's also exhausting. And now it's like, oh, we're Eddie and I we're learning how to have conversations again. I'm learning how to have hobbies. I get to go for walks. Even like on the nights that my kids are at sports, I'm like, I have these two hours to kill. And it's not super fun, if I'm being really honest, just to sit and watch them practice the same thing over and over. Oh, wait, I have two hours that I could do something that fills me back up. Um, so I'm learning things like American Mahjong.

SPEAKER_01 14:30

Nice.

SPEAKER_00 14:31

Eddie has tried to teach me pitch and that's not sticking, and his family's really good at it and into it, so I'm just gonna let them do their thing there.

SPEAKER_01 14:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:38

Um I didn't think I liked podcasts or audiobooks, and I think it was simply because they just got interrupted constantly. And now I have like the time and space to absorb and consume those in a better way. Yeah. Um, and so I'm like, oh, who is who is just 2026?

SPEAKER_01 14:55

Yeah, it's a weird I had a similar moment this week. I went to my at the time of this recording, eight-year-old, gonna be nine soon. I was like, dude, wanna play a game? It was like after dinner, I was pumped. Which game? We've been playing Monopoly Deal a fair bit. Uh-huh. It's like you want to play deal. And like whoever wins, the last one gets to wear the belt. It's not a real belt, but we put it on, the champion, whatever. And I was like, fun, we're gonna play a game. We play a lot of nights, we play some kind of game. I was like, we can play Monopoly Deal or Sequins or whatever. I just wanted to play something. And I wanted to be with him. I hadn't been with him all day. And he said, uh, actually, I was gonna go to a friend's house. I'm riding my bike over there. And I was like, Oh, that's cool, that's cool. So I go to my six-year-old, I was like, hey, you doesn't want to play, you want to play? And he was like, Oh, it's kind of my time to play Switch. And and it was like them letting me down the way, I don't know. I felt like I've let people like when I'm trying to worm out of something. Uh-huh. Yeah, they were trying to worm out of hanging out with me. And all of a sudden, it was like in my head after work, I had this, I'll eat dinner and then I'll have 45 minutes of just like fun game time with my two oldest. It'll be awesome. Yeah. And then they broke that commitment that they had never made. Uh-huh. And I was like, what do I do with this? I found myself pacing. I was just pacing around my house, just looking for someone to play with. Was it during a step challenge? What's that?

SPEAKER_00 16:18

Was it during a Jake step challenge? No, no, no.

SPEAKER_01 16:20

I no, man. I didn't even get steps or anything. That would have been a good. So I was like, I don't know. What do you do with your life?

SPEAKER_00 16:27

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:28

When no one kind of needs you.

SPEAKER_00 16:29

Also, does that that preview to 20 years from now?

SPEAKER_01 16:32

Yeah. Then what? That's right. And I was like, this is what it's going to be in retirement. If Hannah isn't home or she doesn't want to play the game with me, I'd better like have some stuff I like doing. Yeah. I can't just pace, and at that point, my knees probably won't work. I won't be able to pace. So Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:48

What like what would be right now, uh, what would be your guilty pleasure if you if nobody else wanted to play, what would you do?

SPEAKER_01 16:56

I don't have one. Yeah. I'll play I mean, I play guitar for like 10 minutes, and that would get boring about 10 minutes in, and probably my skill level is about ten minutes long. I don't really watch movies anymore. I don't really have shows I watch. Um, I don't exercise all that much. I read. Um so I could read, I write some stuff, but that almost feels that doesn't feel like free time. That feels like obligation calling or something. But like non-calling variety nothing. Uh-huh. I just putter around. And so yeah, I gotta like get some hobbies. I gotta get some stuff when no one wants to play with me. What do I play with?

SPEAKER_00 17:34

Yeah. Like right now, my hobby is like decluttering the baby stuff. And I'm like, that's not actually a hobby. Again, it's a necessity. It makes my life better on the other side. Um, I get to be a little sentimental and purge so that I'm not so stressed about like the excess that's in our house. But uh it's not a hobby. And I'm in a season where like I'm sure you are too, where people have your your community, your people, they have little kids and obligations and sports. And I'm like, what what do what do I do? You can only take so many long baths and like have s'mores crawl up on your lap. Yeah. Uh s'mores is the dog. Uh but yeah, it's I I started watching hummingbirds.

SPEAKER_01 18:16

Okay. Well my god, I have one of these too. You you I have one of these that's broken in.

SPEAKER_00 18:20

You need more.

SPEAKER_01 18:21

No, no, this is the weird thing too, and I think it's a sign of um definitely old age, but like the beauties of old age that I never understood. So you're watching hummingbirds, which is like the dorkiest thing ever.

SPEAKER_00 18:32

It's so great.

SPEAKER_01 18:33

This is I was sitting with my kid. We were actually where we work at a building called Jake. We are on the patio, it was like six o'clock at night. He had done something well, and so I took him on a one-on-one sort of reward. We went and got Andy's, and I was like, we could eat this here, or we could go like he loves VU. So I was like, we could go to V U and we could eat it up there, and he's like, Oh yeah. So we were outside on in this little patio, um, in Adirondack chairs, and he like had to snap at me to get me. I was watching the trees.

SPEAKER_00 19:03

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:04

And they're blowing in the wind, and I was just captivated like some poet. Uh I was just in it. Like these trees are made. And then I found myself several times at parks, at soccer games, or driving, just like staring at these trees and trying to figure out which ones they were and how old they were. And I was like, oh no, I'm 80.

SPEAKER_00 19:23

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_01 19:24

But also, I'm 80. This is free admission.

SPEAKER_00 19:27

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 19:27

I can just walk around and watch trees and be content.

SPEAKER_00 19:30

Look at the clouds again and be like, yep, that's a bunny. Uh-huh. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:33

It's Do you have feeders and stuff for your hummingbirds? Have you gotten that far? Yes. Yeah, actually. You're all in.

SPEAKER_00 19:38

And we're in. And my mom got me a new hummingbird feeder for my birthday. Like, this is where we're at. Uh, and it's funny because every now and then the kids like enter into old lady Jess's realm and they'll sit on the front step with me. And Adrienne, the youngest, she has decided that we need to name them. She can't tell the difference in them yet. I can tell a little bit of the difference like between the males and the females. Um, and so we've got Kevin, Tutu, Sally, and I'm just like, I think there's we we have like five now because we've got a couple of feeders, and it is like the most joyful reset for me to watch these guys. You also have to be really careful walking out our front door right now because they'll just dive bomb your head. Uh, so it's like, I'm sure uh my neighbors are Joe and Carol Choi, and I'm sure they're just like, Jess has lost it. She's sitting on the front step, just drinking her coffee and watching the hummingbirds.

SPEAKER_01 20:34

I just remember thinking about the old crazy people in my life who could like say we go to a lake or something, or go to the beach, and they could just sit there and stare at the water. And I could sit there and stare at the water too for about four minutes, and it's like, let's go try and catch a shark, or let's go try and catch a seagull, or I bet we can build the biggest castle here, or whatever. We can go for you had to do something, yes, and now you can just be, and so that's what I noticed with the trees. It's like I think that's part of like the wisdom of growing old if you can do it grace graciously. It's just like I'm gonna be okay, just being being in nature, yeah, taking this in, uh, thinking about life, thinking about memories. Uh, there's something awesome about it, but it is a realization of I turned the corner.

SPEAKER_00 21:15

Where are you?

SPEAKER_01 21:15

I really turned the corner. It's I'm doing the type of activities or I'm starting to do the type of activities that my kids for the next 10 years will definitely make fun of me. Oh. And then for 10 year 10 years after that, be perplexed by. And then in about 10 years beyond that, and I'll probably be gone by then, they'll think, I'm doing what dad did.

SPEAKER_00 21:33

I get it.

SPEAKER_01 21:33

I'm doing the hummingbird thing. I'm watching the trees. Remember how dad used to just stare at trees?

SPEAKER_00 21:38

Like, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:38

Yeah. So I think there's beauty in that. I think that's that's cool. I think we're both on that journey a little bit.

SPEAKER_00 21:43

It's it's a journey for sure. And then, like, as I've been talking about it with people, so my team downstairs, we happen to have really great seating right now, a lot of windows, and um, we have several hummingbird feeders on the windows down there too. Um, and I've got to subscribe and save for um like the bottled humming feeder hummingbird feeder food to come so that way we're not trying to like boil it in, bring it in, re refill them here in the office and things like that. But uh it's funny the number of times, not even just myself, I've been engaged in conversations with folks down there, and the birds will come and hover around the feeder, and people will be like, oh mid-sentence, just stop, be totally captivated by these guys.

SPEAKER_01 22:29

That's right. There's something about that for to have happiness, you need to have meaning. For having meaning, you need to be able to like be awed by something. Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_00 22:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:40

Wonder and whimsy, and the smaller you can get that, like attain it, the better. So hummingbird's tiny little thing, but if you could be captivated by that, even for nine seconds, your entire day goes better.

SPEAKER_00 22:52

It j it does.

SPEAKER_01 22:53

If I can look at a tree and that tree makes me happy in a moment, my entire day is happier than it would have been had I not been able to stare and be in wonder at that tree. At some point we've like cut off wonder because we're not allowed to be bored or we can't sit still.

SPEAKER_00 23:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:06

And so it's like being able to do that, but then also inviting it, like you said, even to your workplace in some ways, you brought the hummingmoon birds in. Yes. Not literally. I think that may be an HR violation. I don't know if you can bring hummingbirds in the building, but you brought them to the building where it's like, hey, I bring my joy with me.

SPEAKER_00 23:20

Did you know in St. Lucia? So we went on our honeymoon to St. Lucia and we went back for our tenure. They have the most beautiful hummingbirds. They're like black with emerald belly.

SPEAKER_01 23:29

That's only something an old lady, an old peaceful lady knows.

SPEAKER_00 23:32

I know.

SPEAKER_01 23:32

But now I know it.

SPEAKER_00 23:33

And the amount of time I've spent researching how to purchase these online and you can't. And I'm like, how do we smuggle them in? How do we bring them to Missouri? This is a whole conversation I had with a team the other day.

SPEAKER_01 23:42

You're a bird lady, you're a crazy bird lady. I'm a crazy bird lady. You're a crazy bird lady, and I'm here for it. I think that's great. I think that's where joy lives.

SPEAKER_00 23:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:49

Those people are happy. So all right. Uh any kind of closing thoughts, ideas before we sign off for this one?

SPEAKER_00 23:56

Yeah, I mean, I think like you you said people are like, wait, she hasn't been on here yet? What are you talking about? Um it's really easy to get down. It's really easy to get stuck while you're down. And it's also really easy to like duck and catch people who are trying to avoid eye contact with you in the hallway and just say hi and find little ways to brighten someone else's day. And when I find myself down and stuck and not feeling great, I gotta get back around my people. Yeah. Whether it's my team, uh, whether it's Eddie and I, thankfully we have the ability and great parents and in-laws who will watch the girls on a whim to get away for the weekend, um, get away with the girls, get to the lake, get to the water, get out in nature. Um when you get stuck, I'm not saying it's simply a choice to get unstuck, but it it works for me. Just choose joy. Yeah. Know yourself, know the things that light you back up, and pull closely to those when it feels like it's pulling away from you.

SPEAKER_01 25:02

Yeah, you gotta kind of fight for it. There is a choosing. This past week I went to the doctor and the front desk lady was excellent. She was incredible at checking people in, she was really kind. She was just like disarming with her kindness, but also massively efficient. Yeah. And so in the waiting room, I was just perceiving, I was just watching from afar like a creep. And I was like, man, she's well, some of her coworkers stopped by her desk and kept saying to her, I love what you did with your hair. And she kept saying, Ah, I don't love it. I don't think I'm gonna go back to the old way. So she had changed her hairstyle. They were noticing, encouraging her, and she kept saying, I don't know if it's me, I don't know if I can pull it off. And I'm just taking all this in. It happened about four times. And it was much later, I was in the shower and I was thinking about that, and I was like, What I should have done when I left my doctor's appointment is stop by her desk and thank her for doing an excellent job and tell her, I love your hair. You can wear whatever hairstyle you want when you treat people like you treat people.

SPEAKER_00 25:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 25:56

But I didn't say it. And so then I was like, I'm I no, I'm gonna go back, I'm gonna write her a note, and I'm gonna leave, but even the thought of like leaving her a note that says that, like, how much does that mean for her? But also as the giver of that, and it's genuine, how much does it mean for me? But it's a choice. Yeah. Because what I can do instead is exactly what I did. Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_00 26:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:14

Just walk out of the other room, or just duck and make eye contact and be like, you're doing awesome at your job.

SPEAKER_00 26:18

Oh my gosh. And I think I think that maybe is even more important than anything I've said up until now is just say the thing.

SPEAKER_01 26:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:24

Take the moment, say the thing.

SPEAKER_01 26:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:26

You never know how much it's going to impact someone else. And then just like how that can radiate back to you. Yeah. Um because you're lifting someone up, and that's never, never a bad thing. Yeah. It's hard. Like we're all busy. We're all busy. Um, even if you're not busy, you say that you're busy. And the what the best way to get unbusy is just get with people and say the thing.

SPEAKER_01 26:51

Yep. No, I love that. Um, and thank you for being someone who does that. Thanks for coming on the show. Uh, appreciate your perspective and the way you lead your life. And I hope for the rest of your days of benediction that many a hummingbird will find your shoulder.

SPEAKER_00 27:05

A little black one with an emerald belly.

SPEAKER_01 27:07

That's my goal, is that um in like 20 or 30 years I see you, and maybe our lives have gone away from each other. Yeah. And then we come back, and I will recognize you not by you, but by the little hummingbird perched on your shoulder.

SPEAKER_00 27:19

Yes! Oh my god, dream come true.

SPEAKER_01 27:21

Some genteel pirate lady.

SPEAKER_00 27:23

That's amazing.

SPEAKER_01 27:24

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 27:24

Thanks for having me, Matt.

SPEAKER_01 27:26

Yeah, thanks for being here. We'll do it again next week. Thanks for listening. This is a Future Delight, and we'll see you next time.