25. Rooted in Christ: Living a Holy & Authentic Life (Talk Replay)

In this special episode, I’m sharing a replay of a live talk I gave for a women’s Bible study.

We dive deep into what it truly means to root your identity in Christ rather than in the world—and how that shift changes everything.

If you’ve ever struggled with people-pleasing, comparison, or feeling like your worth is tied to your performance, this conversation will meet you right where you are.

This talk is an invitation to step out of striving and into the freedom, peace, and confidence that come from knowing who you are in Christ.

During the talk we discussed:

•  The difference between a worldly identity vs. identity in Christ 
•  Why people-pleasing keeps us stuck—and how to break free 
•  The “I do → I have → I am” (identity in the world) cycle vs. “I am → I have → I do” (identity in Christ)
•  How your identity is shaped (4 key areas) 
•  The power of renewing your mind with a Kingdom-based mindset
•  Practical ways to grow in confidence, clarity, and faith 
•  The fruits of a life rooted in Christ 

Scripture Mentioned:

•  John 10:10 — Living an abundant life 
•  1 John 4:4 — “He who is in you is greater…” 
•  Galatians 1:10 — Seeking God’s approval over man’s 
•  Romans 12:2 — Renewal of the mind 
•  2 Timothy 1:7 — Spirit of power, love, and a sound mind 

✨ Reflection Guide:
Stephany and I created a beautiful reflection guide for this talk to help you go deeper in prayer—especially during adoration.

👉 Download it here

💬 Want to Go Deeper?
If something stirred in your heart and you’re ready to move forward in your identity and calling, I offer 1:1  Catholic coaching discovery calls.

👉 Book a session here

🙏 Closing Prayer:
This episode ends with the powerful Radiating Christ Prayer by John Henry Newman—a beautiful invitation to become a light of Christ in the world.

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:08

Welcome to the Living Whole and Holy podcast, where the Catholic faith and intentional living come together. I'm your host, Carrie Jane, a recent Catholic convert and Catholic coach, here to guide you toward a life that's rooted in Christ, centered in his love, and aligned with God's call. Whether you're a convert, revert, cradle Catholic, or simply exploring the faith, you're in the right place. Join me each week to hear inspiring conversations including conversion and reversion stories, timeless wisdom from the church, and practical Catholic coaching tools that help you deepen your faith and intimacy with Christ, cultivate Christ-centered habits, and be transformed through the renewing of your mind. If you're ready to discover and align to the beauty and richness of a fully integrated Catholic life, you've found your home. I'm so excited you're here. Let's get started. I recently met a woman named Stephanie, and she asked me to give a talk to her women's Bible study this past weekend. It's called Rooted in Christ: Living a Holy and Authentic Life. And since I was asked by many people for the recording, I thought I'd share it with you here and offer a replay for the guests who joined. We go deep into knowing if your identity is rooted in things of this world or in Christ, how people pleasing is not serving us, how change begins with awareness and renewal of the mind, four key areas of how our identity is formed, how to put on the mind of Christ and the fruits that show up in our lives when we are firmly rooted in Him and truly put Him at the center. We cover so much in here, it is so good, and I hope you enjoy it. Stephanie and I created a beautiful reflection guide for the women who attended the talk to take to adoration and further prey on the concepts we discussed in the talk. I'm also including it in the show notes for you. God bless and enjoy the talk. All right. Well, welcome everybody. Thank you so much for joining this talk. I just wanted to give you a brief overview about how this hour is going to look. I'm just first going to briefly share my story. I'm a Catholic convert and uh came to Jesus in a really beautiful way just a few years ago. So I'm a new convert as of two years ago. And um I'm super passionate about rooting your identity in Christ because we either root our identity in Christ or in the world. So the goal of this talk is really to show you what it looks like to root your identity in the world versus Christ, and then ways that shows up in your life, and then the fruits of your life when you actually do root your identity in Christ. Um what I'm gonna do is along the way, I'm gonna give you guys some questions. And if you feel inclined, you can answer those in the chat. If you're not comfortable answering the questions, that's completely fine. But it just allows us to be a little bit more interactive and allow you to see where God is kind of highlighting things to you. So I'll be doing that along the way. I have an outline next to me. So if I'm turning and looking over, that's why. Um, but that's what we're gonna cover. But before we go into the talk, I'm just gonna introduce who I am and how I got involved in this work. So as Stephanie said, my name is Carrie Jane. I'm a Catholic life coach and I'm the host of the Living Whole and Holy podcast. And um, like I said, I'm a newer Catholic, and I always say becoming Catholic was the best thing that has ever happened to me. I don't say that lightly. I lived much of my life with my identity and things of the world. And um I'm still practicing having an identity rooted in Christ, but it is it is such a better existence, and there's so much more peace and freedom and confidence in that. And it is a practice. So I'm gonna mention things today. And the goal really is not for you to feel overwhelmed or critical of yourself or upset with yourself if you're feeling like your identity is more in the world than in Christ. It's really an invitation to look at the ways the Lord is calling you to live more in your identity in Him. Okay. So I grew up Lutheran. I was baptized as a baby Lutheran, and um, I shouldn't say I grew up. I was baptized Lutheran, and then my mom was Lutheran, my dad was atheist, and I wasn't raised in the Lutheran church. But when my mom got cancer when I was about 14, 15, she got reunited with her faith and we started going to a Lutheran church. I got confirmed in the Lutheran church, and then I didn't have a biblical worldview. Religion really wasn't a big part of my family because my parents were not equally yoked. And so we would go to church, we would come home, and uh, that was it. There was no reading the Bible, there was no having community with other Christians. Um, and it was just like go to church, go home, and that's it. And so then when I went to college, I didn't pursue my faith at all because I wasn't with my mom and going to church every week. I got I kind of got to decide what I wanted to do at that point. And I got really into new age practices, I got really into yoga, I got really into astrology, um, kind of Eastern philosophy. So for like all of my 20s and most of my 30s, I was really in that world and I got deep, deep, deep in that world. And I was always looking for God. I was searching for God in all the wrong places. And my my identity was very much in my performance, um, how I did in school, what college I went to, um, who I associated with, um, my job, things like that. Then, fast forward much later in my life, um, in my late 30s, my husband got very, very ill. And we got married 13 years ago. Um, and we were really involved in a lot of the new age practices. He's Indians, but we weren't, we didn't identify as Hindu, but we were really into those Eastern philosophy practices. We are both seeking God. He got very, very ill uh in 2021, almost died, and we were crying out to God. We were looking for God, and and we weren't looking for Jesus necessarily, but we were praying. We were praying for his healing, we were praying that he would make it and he would be alive. And Easter Vigil of 2022, we had a dream. We both had dreams with Jesus. Jesus appeared to us, and it was beautiful, and it was no doubt Jesus that showed up to us. And ever since we had those dreams, we pursued Christianity. There was no denying that that was Christ that showed up to us. Um, we started out in a um Protestant church for about a year, and then we both were missing the reverence, we were missing the tradition, the really the beauty that the Catholic Church has to offer. And so um, through a series of talking with priests and friends that we had that were Catholic, we just did a really deep dive and started pursuing becoming Catholic. And then two year two years ago, um, we became Catholic. And it has been the best thing that's ever happened to us. So that is a very shortened version of my story. Uh, if you want to hear a longer version, my husband and I were on a podcast called Catholic Recon, where we shared our story together. And then in my podcast, a first episode, um, I go into a lot more depth with my own story. But I just wanted to give you guys a background, you know, where I came from and why I'm really passionate about this work. So the first thing I wanted to talk about with you guys is um the identity crisis. I call it the identity crisis in our world because our world is very noisy and it's very much um there's different models, there's a there's a secular model of identity, and then there's the the Christian model of identity. And in our world, from very young ages, we're taught that, you know, who we are is our performance, our achievements, what people think of us. And there's this model of I do, then I have, then I become. So it's like, I am the things I do for work or my roles, then I am the things I have, and then I'm what I become what people think of me. Okay. So an example might be if I work hard enough, I succeed enough and impress enough people, then I'll feel worthy. So we're kind of always working for our identity. It's very exhausting. Um, but the problem is, you know, these things disappear, things like our achievement, our status, um, becoming someone important, right? These are not things that are lasting. Our jobs can change, our relationships can change, our reputation changes. If someone likes us and then they don't like us, um, our health changes. You could be very healthy in one moment and then your health could be taken away in the next. You have maybe you have kids, your kids grow up, your kids move away. And if you really just identify and make your whole life your kids, then when they're older and they move away and they have their own lives, then who are you? Right? Your identity becomes unstable in this framework. And your foundation is shaky. You know, Jesus calls us to build our foundation on rock, and this is building your foundation on sand. So that's one way we can build our identity. And then also in our world, there's just such an emphasis on gender. It's like people build their whole identity on what gender they are, and it's causing a lot of confusion in our world. When you have identity in Christ, the gospel actually flips that order. So you start with I am, which becomes I have, which becomes I do. So an example of that would be I'm a beloved daughter of God. I have his grace, I have authority and love, which I don't have to earn. We don't have to earn God's love. Whereas with other people, we feel like we have to earn their love to become somebody. Therefore, I do the work he calls me to, and I serve others from that place. You serve others from that place of abundance. This identity is stable. And it's really because God never changes. You know, he says, I'm the I'm the same today, yesterday, and tomorrow. And one quote that I really love is from Saint Teresa of Avola, and it is, let nothing disturb you, let nothing frighten you. All things are passing away. God never changes. I love that. I read that all the time. I think it's so important. And then a scripture verse that really anchors this is John 1, John 4, 4. He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world. And then I also like John 10:10, where it says, I came to give life and life abundantly. We're not called to live mediocre lives. That's not what God plans for us. That's not what he wants for us. That's what the world may tell us, but it's not true. We are called to live holy, abundant, and purposeful lives rooted in Christ. But we cannot live that way if we're rooted in things of the world. And that's like our our foundation and our cornerstone. So I would love to know in the chat if anyone would like to share where do you most often look for your identity? Is it in your relationships, your achievements? Or maybe it's in Christ. Maybe you are very rooted in Christ, and that is wonderful. But a lot of us have some distortions that God is kind of asking us to look at. So if anyone wants to share in the chat, I would love to know.

SPEAKER_01 12:19

Let's see here. Stephanie, do you want to read some of the answers? Yes, Stephanie can go ahead and read them. Some of them says relationships and my job, achievements and relationships, my job, achievement, like place in the world, um, identity in my educational life, career and relationships. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:43

Yeah. So this is this is a uh a big issue for everyone. And and I am not perfect. I still sometimes slip into this as well. Um, but it's so good to to have that awareness, isn't it? That we can choose one or the other. Yeah. Thanks for sharing, you guys. I appreciate that. What is an area of your life where I your identity feels shaky or dependent on your circumstances?

SPEAKER_00 13:15

Anyone want to share?

SPEAKER_01 13:16

Someone mentioned uh rooting their identity and their job or their age.

SPEAKER_02 13:23

Yeah. An achievements, yeah. Okay. All right. So we're all in this together, but we have Jesus to help us. So okay, so now that we talked about the two different ways we can root ourselves, I'm gonna talk about the ways that when we root ourselves in the world, how this shows up. And one topic I am so passionate about is people pleasing. Um, because it's it's a it's a big problem for a lot of women. It's something that many of us, myself included, were taught um, you know, even before we were able to form our own thoughts, we pick up the thoughts of those around us. So if we saw this modeled for us, then we're more likely to do the same. And this is how my family operated. So some signs that were rooted in the world instead of Christ. The first thing, the biggest thing is people pleasing. Um and this becomes this becomes a trap and a cycle of distress. It just we get we keep we get stuck in it. And it it really isn't fulfilling anything. We just kind of get stuck there. Um, and it's it's not a conscious decision. Like I said, a lot of times we learned this when we were younger before we were able to develop our own opinions about things. It's an underlying fear of letting somebody down, feeling rejected, misunderstood, or feeling like we're not enough. And um we can feel this way, especially when we're doing something new or we're updating our identity in Christ, or anybody who's a convert or a revert, and maybe you lived a very different life before you came to Christ, or maybe you're coming back to Christ and you're kind of upgrading um your your identity, and you're gonna change who you are, and you might ruffle some feathers. I know I did. And really, people pleasing is a lie that I'm not safe if someone doesn't agree with me and what I'm doing. That's really like the root of it is this feeling of not feeling safe. And what people pleasing, what we lie to ourselves about is um we're fear we're fearful of disappointing others. We avoid saying no when we want to say yes. We perform for approval, like we think, okay, if I do this this one thing, if I get this job, my mom and dad will really, really love me. If I don't, they're not gonna love me. Um, and then we hide from our true convictions. So maybe we are feeling like we're really we become a different person and we have different opinions, and now we want to live out those opinions, but we feel like we just can't, that we might, we might offend somebody. Okay. The key though is people pleasing is not keeping the peace. We think it is, but it's actually very exhausting and it's not creating outcomes you want because someone is happy. That's actually false because um we could we're not able to have any effect over people's opinions or their expectations of us. They're gonna have those regardless, whether you know it or not. But what happens is when we're worried about pleasing people, their opinion gets elevated over God's. So we end up worrying more about pleasing people than actually pleasing God. And that's that's a very big problem because you begin living for the fear of man instead of the fear of God. And I lived my life like that so much before. Um, and scripture warns us about this. Uh, in Galatians 1.10, he's uh it says, Am I now seeking the approval of man or of God? So that's an important question to ask when we're in these situations. Whose opinion matters more? And when we do live for approval, we compromise our values, we avoid truth, we're more likely to hide, and we lose clarity about who we are. The definition of a boundary is where you end and someone else begins. And what happens when you you're not setting boundaries with somebody? Things get very murky and muddy, and it's it's very hard at that point to figure out, you know, what your values are, what you believe, because you get really mixed up in what somebody else and what they think. And ultimately, people pleasing leads to burnout, exhaustion, living um out of a living out of your alignment and values, saying yes when you don't want to, you end up, I say, doing the overs, you overcommit, you over-schedule, you overgive, overthink. I know for me, um, I had a huge problem with over-scheduling. Um, I would want to do everything, and then I would get super exhausted, and then I would overcommit and do these things, but then I would kind of be resentful. Like, why am I doing this? I don't want to be here. I'd rather be at home. So um, that was something that I really struggled with. And then you feel guilty about resting. You feel like, I can't, I can't rest because I have to please this person. So it's it's very exhausting. And the thing about resentment is when you give out of love, you give from abundance. But when you give out of lack, there's resentment. So it's really important to kind of look at and take an audit of how much can I give? Where can I give with love? And if I'm not giving with love, should I really be giving if it's coming from a place of resentment? Ultimately, we become who others want us to be instead of who God created us to be. That's the big thing. Because God created each one of you with a mission in this world. Some of us are in ministry, some of us are mothers, some of us are wives, but he created a mission for all of us. And he really desires us to be honest with ourselves about who we are and what he's putting into our hearts to bring into the world. And when we are stuck in a cycle of people pleasing and we don't know who we are, it's gonna be very, very difficult for us to bring out our mission into the world. And if you have children, it's it's if you don't know who you are and what you value, your children are gonna pick up on that. And then they're also gonna feel like, okay, I have to be somebody I'm not. That's what happened to me when I was growing up. And I'm sure a lot of you guys can relate to that as well. But the truth is we're all allowed to have opinions and we're allowed to say no. This took me a long time. I I like to say no as a complete sentence. I found that the more I felt like I had to explain my no's, I started getting right back in the cycle of people pleasing. And there's always gonna be people that are gonna disagree with you. But we need to desire God's approval over the opinion of man. Um the first step in overcoming people pleasing is to become lovingly aware and curious of this pattern. And I say lovingly aware and curious is because the last thing you want to do is beat yourself up. It's so common. It happens to everybody, but we can't change anything if we don't become aware and curious with gentleness. Jesus calls us to be gentle with ourselves. We're not going to make any changes by beating ourselves up and being like, I can't believe I lived this way, or I can't believe I did this or that, or I lied to myself, um, you know, to please this person, because that's the other thing that happens when we people please is we end up lying. Um, that's definitely not what God calls us to do. So it is a process, it does not happen overnight. But the first step is becoming aware and worried that we aren't responsible for other people's opinions, emotions, and expectations of us. What we are responsible for is our obedience to God's calling, our alignment with our faith and the person God is calling us to be. Then we can co-create on purpose. I will share a story with you guys. I'm not proud of this story, but it's it's um something I want to share about people pleasing. So, as I mentioned, my dad is atheist and my brothers are atheists. My mom passed away um uh 12 years ago now. And it took me the longest time to tell my family I was Christian, let alone Catholic. Um, my brother went to a Catholic school. He had a terrible experience. I was so worried I was gonna get rejected and hated and that my family would never talk to me. And uh my dad was. Had never been a believer. He makes fun of religion. So it took me a really long time to tell them. And I became a Catholic life coach because I have a wonderful Catholic life coach. And she helped me work through this because I didn't end up telling them and I didn't get rejected. They still talk to me. We don't talk about the faith, but I don't really have that expectation with them. But it was so much better being honest about who I was instead of trying to avoid. And I used to take things down in my house. I used to have, I still have, I have tons of religious items in my house, like crucifixes and divine mercy pictures. And before they knew I was Catholic or Christian, I would take all of it down before they came over. And I got to the point one day where I was like, God must be so disgusted with me. I'm disgusted with myself because I'm not living out the most important part of who I am. So I told them, now when they come over, my house is completely decked out. They can have their opinions of it. They don't usually say anything. But they might be thinking those things, I don't really know, but I'm so comfortable in my faith now that that's not something I'm willing to compromise. If you don't like it, you don't have to come to my house. So um just things to think about, like where we fit in, where we're a chameleon, because we think it's it's a lie that we're we have control over other people's thoughts and opinions and what they think of us. We don't. So I'm super passionate about helping people overcome people pleasing because um really what happens when you let go of that is you have so much more freedom. You know who you are, and you're not afraid to express yourself in a in a God-centered way. This isn't about being arrogant, this isn't about, you know, bulldozing people. It's just to be about living out your values. And um one of those ways is is to be who you are, and you might ruffle some feathers. I know I ruffle feathers. Um, and I feel uncomfortable when I started my podcast. I was like, no one's gonna listen to this. I'm not a good speaker. I'm gonna offend somebody. And I realize I need to do this for the people that are going to listen, that need this information, not for the people that probably are never gonna listen. And so God really humbles you in this area. He humbled me in this area. So um, you're not alone because I've been through it. Um, and it really does take time, it takes patience. This is not something that changes overnight. Um, but it is something when you overcome it that's gonna lead to greater freedom and peace. Okay. So there's a few other things that are signs of a world-rooted identity versus a Christ-centered identity. Um, isolation. We we want to be alone. We don't want to be around other people, and then we start feeling shame. Um, having a fear-based mindset or a scarcity mindset comparison. So you go on social media very worldly, unless you're following wonderful Catholic people like Stephanie. It's so easy to look at somebody's Instagram page or any something on TikTok and you know, compare yourself to, well, this is where I am and this is where this person is, and start to feel um not good enough because we're comparing ourselves on mostly achievements and things like that. So, question I'd love to ask you guys is where might you be seeking man's approval or over God's approval? I would love to know if any of this has resonated about people pleasing. This is the longest part of the talk, but the Holy Spirit was like, you need to talk about people pleasing. So I would love to know how how that shows up, like where you've sought man's approval over God's approval. Do you want to share in the chat? Family and relationships, my parents, mm-hmm. Relationships and education.

SPEAKER_00 26:09

Yeah. My parents, yep. At work, relationships. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 26:19

These are all big ones. Yeah. From a very young age, you know, we we are we're taught to please our parents. We don't want to make our parents mad. Work and education, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And work, it can show up as taking on too many tasks and then um because we don't want to upset somebody instead of advocating for ourselves and saying, This is my capacity, this is all I can do. I had to do that. I used to be somebody that used to bring home a lot of work. And then I would get really resentful, like, why am I working at home? But it was that I didn't set boundaries and let people know, like, this deadline isn't gonna work for me. So it's not easy speaking up for yourself, but once you start getting used to it and practicing it, it's gonna feel uncomfortable at first, but it will get better. Um, thank you guys for sharing. I appreciate it. So um, another symptom of being rooted in the world is seeking guidance outside of God. And I know Stephanie and I have talked about this. There's spiritual, quote unquote spiritual practices in our world that are in your face. You go to Barnes and Noble, and there's books on astrology, there's tarot cards, um, there's you know, books about yoga. So even well-meaning Christians and Catholics, they might see these things and dabble in these things because they are worried about their future, right? They they want to get their astrology chart done because they need to know they want to control and like, okay, I'm gonna feel better if I have, if I know I'm gonna get this other job or um I'm gonna get married or be in this relationship or or whatever it might be. People go to psychics. I know I used to do that. And people think that psychics are getting information from God. They are not, they're getting information from the demonic realm and the demonic realm and Satan capitalize on this and they will convince somebody. They work with, you know, these people and they're able to pose as dead relatives or whatever. And it feels very believable, but it is not of God and it's very dangerous and nothing we should be doing as Catholics. Same with yoga. Yoga is a violation of the first commandment. Thou shalt have no other gods before me. And when you're practicing yoga, you are yoking to Hindu gods and goddesses. And this is a, you know, this may ruffle some feathers, but I know because my husband grew up in a Hindu household, and you're definitely yoking to false gods. And people have gotten demonic oppression from doing yoga. So yoga and all of these practices are we have no business doing them. And we really turn to them because we're we're we're wanting to know the future. And God actually doesn't tell us that we don't really, He doesn't want us to know the future all the time. Because think about it, if you did know your future and it was bad, would you really want to keep living like that? No, I know I wouldn't. Um, and in Deuteronomy 18, 10 through 12, it says, Let no one be found among you who practices divination or sorcery, interprets omens, engages in witchcraft, or casts spells. Anyone who does these things is detestable to the Lord. Detestable. That means it it offends him, it hurts him. Because we replace trust in God with trust in these other sources. And it's not everybody, you know, people don't know. But you go on Instagram and you see, you know, or witch talk and you see, you know, people offering these things, and they don't know that it's not good to engage in them. But that's what happens when we're not rooted in Christ. We look outside of ourselves to get some kind of comfort, to get some kind of validation. So yeah, we don't want to do that. But when we're rooted in Christ, we seek wisdom from prayer, we seek wisdom from scripture. In prayer, we have a conversation with God, a back and forth conversation. And he actually speaks to us on the sacraments, you know, receiving the Eucharist, um, going to confession. And then wise Christian counsel, whether it's, you know, spiritual direction, coaching, just meeting with a like-minded Christ-like woman. So we have a lot at our disposal for wisdom. But when we turn to these outside forces, it's really, really bad for our soul. And it's it's not okay with God. Um, so next question: where are you most tempted to seek security outside of God?

SPEAKER_00 30:57

Put it in the chat. Relationships, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:11

Yeah, when we when we seek um wisdom from relationships too much and we put that relationship over God, like we can even make our friends idols, we can make our spouses, our boyfriends, idols. Um and it's there's nothing wrong with seeking the counsel of friends or your spouse or your your partner, but when we're only going to those people and we're not going to the source, that becomes a problem. Right. All right. So the next thing I want to talk about is how your identity in Christ is formed. And it's really formed and shaped by four key areas. Okay. And these are the ones that I really encourage you guys to start practicing. And these will be on the sheet that Stephanie's going to share at the end, and you can go in depth with these further in adoration or just alone in your prayer time at home. Okay. The first one is your thoughts and words. Okay. So your identity often shows up in I am statements. Anything that comes after the I am solidifies. And think about Jesus. He says, you know, I am the way, the truth, and the life. I am the bread of life. I am the light of the world. Think about these very powerful statements that he made about himself. Okay. Those are confident statements. But what happens to us through our upbringing, through the people that we're surrounded by, we pick up their habits and their behaviors. So you might have the I am statement of I am not confident. I'm not a leader. I'm bad at relationships. Um, I'm a failure. I'm too much. I'm not enough. You know, you have those two opposite ends of things. But scripture tells us in Romans 12, 2: do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind. We have to begin renewing our mind because if we don't, we're living out of these thoughts. And what happens, and what I work with with my clients and coaching is it starts with our thoughts. And we have a circumstance, and our circumstance, circumstances are neutral. It's when we have a thought about it that we have pain. Okay. Um, and then that thought leads to an emotion. And then that emotion leads to things we do or don't do. We can literally get stuck from negative emotion. And then from those actions comes our results. And so our thought and our result always line up. Okay. So we need to start becoming aware of what we're thinking. That's the first step. And a lot of times the things we're thinking were not even, they're they're underneath the surface. We don't know that they're there. They're lies that have been told to us, and the enemy capitalizes on that. He's hoping that you stay there. He doesn't want you to advance the kingdom of God. He doesn't want you to bring God into your family, into your workplace. No, he wants you to believe all these lies, but we have dominion. We have choice in moving forward with that. So, like I said, a lot of these beliefs are formed in childhood through experiences, through lies we absorbed. Um, but we can question those beliefs. We don't have to take them on. They're optional. That's what my coach always says. She's like, This thought is optional. Did you know that? And I was like, Yeah, you're right, it is. And a good thing to ask yourself is is this thought strengthening my faith or weakening it? Okay. Renewing your mind means learning to think from a kingdom perspective instead of a fear-based perspective. So thinking like God thinks, think about how God would think in a certain situation. He's not gonna complain, he's gonna solve problems, you know, he's not gonna let himself be mired in this loop of negative thinking. So, next question is what is one negative I am statement you've believed about yourself? And I can start with this one. Mine was um, I have nothing, I have nothing good to say. This was from childhood. I have nothing good to say, and nobody wants to hear what I have to say. And um, also another one was, I'm not a speaker. And if I still believed those things, I would not have a podcast. I would not be doing this talk with you guys. Um, and so I had to question those things. And for the longest time, I would say, I'm not a speaker. And my husband goes, You know, you have a podcast, right? And I said, Yeah, but I'm not getting up in front of people and talking. He's like, Yeah, you're just believing a lie. So, but if I had held on to that, I wouldn't be doing what I'm doing now. I wouldn't be sharing God's message. So, what is a I am statement that you have believed about yourself? I'm not good enough. I will never become a doctor. Okay. I'm not worthy. I'm not capable. I'm not contributing enough to my community. Yes. Yes. Yeah. These all, these thoughts will keep us stuck until we question them. And most of the time they are lies. And the enemy just loves to capitalize on these. So we don't want him to win. We want Jesus to win. Okay, and the next way, there's two more ways, and then we'll talk about the fruits of living a life in Christ, and then we'll be done. Thanks for hanging in, guys. I hope that you guys are gaining something from this talk. Um, thank you so much for putting stuff in the chat. I just love this stuff so much. I could talk about it all day, but I will be respectful of your time. Okay, so the way you carry yourself, this is really big. Identity shows up and how we show up. So this is our posture, our confidence, our presence, and our boundaries. Okay. And I love to say this when you know you are in Christ, you develop what I call a backbone in the Lord. And the Lord actually gave me this image when I did a podcast about the different ways your identity is formed. And he gave me this beautiful image of this super straight back. And I was like, I love that because we stand tall. We know who we are and whose we are. We know what we value, we know we want to help advance the kingdom. You begin to say no when necessary. You stop compromising your values and you stop shrinking. So think about yourself if you've ever been in a situation where you've shown up somewhere and you just shrink and you hide and you don't want anybody to see you because you're ashamed. Um of these things are forming your identity, how we show up. It can even be the clothes that you wear. Um, not everybody has to have this expensive wardrobe, but how do you feel in the clothes that you show up in? Are they a reflection of who's God is creating you to be? And your confidence comes from God with you, not from self-confidence. Self-confidence is a real tricky thing. That's kind of a personal development, kind of a thing where God is not involved. It's not about you, it's about God being with you. Okay. And that's what people notice in your presence. It's, I've got God with me, and He's He's giving me a backbone in the Lord. And 2 Timothy 1.7 says, God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and a sound mind. So he really calls us um to integrate all of these things together. So in the chat, I'd love to know where do you feel God is inviting you to show up more confidently?

SPEAKER_00 38:44

Or where do you feel tempted to shrink? Shrink or hide? Not worthy, not deserving of anything.

SPEAKER_02 38:57

Okay. Where do you guys feel tempted to shrink or hide in your life? At the workplace, yes.

SPEAKER_00 39:05

Yes. Yeah. In my relationship. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 39:18

We're gonna move on to your environment and who you surround yourself with matters deeply. And I love that Stephanie has this group because you guys are in Catholic community. You become influenced by who you spend the most time with. You you become influenced by the content you consume, the environments that you're in, what you normalize. And Proverbs remind us in Proverbs 13, 20, walk with the wise and become wise. So you literally become a reflection of the five people that you spend the most time with. When you are surrounded by women who are pursuing holiness, praying, growing, and seeking truth, your faith automatically strengthens because you're reflecting that to each other. Satan would love you to be isolated because that weakens your identity. He loves to come in and those weak points, and he tells you you don't need to be surrounded by other people in community. But community strengthens all of those things that we're pursuing in holiness. And I know for myself, I was involved in a lot of new age communities. And when I came to the Catholic Church, there is nothing like Catholic community. It is such a blessing. The people that have come into our lives since becoming Catholic, I just, I mean, I thank God for them every day. Um, there's this instant bond you have. You don't have to talk about small talk, you can talk about Christ. And it's just so much different than the worldly conversations about like, well, what's your job? And you know, what house do you have? And all these things that really don't matter. Um so who in your life helps you to grow closer to Christ?

SPEAKER_00 41:04

I'd love to know in the chat. My mom and godparents. Beautiful.

SPEAKER_02 41:17

My mom. Nicole, yes. I believe it. My grandma, my friends and Y A2L group. My mom, grandmother, and friends. Yeah. This group. Beautiful.

SPEAKER_01 41:35

So Stephanie, you're doing the right thing. I'm glad I I sometimes I get nervous because I'm like, oh, am I not doing enough? I hope I'm showing up, you know, for God. And um, so yeah, I'm really happy that I got to see that comment. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 41:53

How about is there an environment or person in your life that weakens your faith?

SPEAKER_00 41:57

This is a good thing to think about. Relationships. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 42:37

All right, we're gonna move on to your focus. This is the last area of things that shape your identity. So your focus. Focus is incredibly powerful. I say your focus is your fertilizer. So what you focus on grows. Um, and you can focus your focus can be in two different areas. You can focus on fear, problems, and lack, or you can focus on gratitude, God's provision, and growth. And the beautiful part about focus is if you are focusing on things of God, that's what's going to show up more into your life. Because your brain literally learns to look for those things. But if you're always complaining and focusing on what's wrong and focusing on lack, you're also training your brain to pick up those areas and then reinforce those areas. The scripture reminds us: faith is the assurance. This is Hebrews 11:1. Um, faith is the assurance of things hoped for and the conviction of things not seen. And one of my favorite verses of all time is 1 John 4.18. Perfect love casts out fear. Okay, and that's the kind of love that God has. And the Bible tells us 365 times or something like that, that it's not to fear. So fear, fear is a choice, gratitude is a choice. And once we become much more aware of our thinking, that's when we can. Learned how to focus more on what's going to bring us closer to Christ. Um so daily practices that shape your identity and shape your focus specifically is prayer. So spending time in that conversation with God, I suggest work working up to a half an hour of prayer. Even if you start with five minutes, just start having that conversation with God. Um, because that's the only way we build a deeper relationship. If you talk to somebody once a month versus every day, you're gonna know that person a lot more if you speak with them every day. But it's it's something you can build up to. Um, scripture shapes your identity. The Eucharist, receiving the Eucharist as much as possible. We actually absorb and take in Jesus' body, blood, soul, and divinity. Become more like him. Going to adoration. Um, I went to a women's retreat not that long ago, a silent retreat, and it was all about God seeing us. And he said, one of the beautiful things you can do in adoration. A lot of times we go to adoration, we want to get something out of it. I know I go with my journal. Sometimes I have this agenda, and he goes, No, no, no, no, don't do that. He said, just go and ask Jesus to look at you with Eucharistic eyes. That's it. He's like, Don't do anything else. It may not feel like anything's happening, but it is. And then the other prayer is, Jesus, help me to see others with Eucharistic eyes. Because that's really a grace when we can start seeing people with his eyes, your whole life will transform. So that's something you can practice. Although we're giving you a guide in a few minutes to take to adoration, but practice that sometime in adoration of just asking Jesus to show you how he loves you through Eucharistic eyes. It's very beautiful. Okay, we're almost done. Thanks for hanging in. Um really quick in the chat. Just what do you focus on most lately? Fear or faith?

SPEAKER_00 46:09

You can just type fear or faith in the comments. Faith. Awesome. Faith. Alright, this is good. All right.

SPEAKER_02 46:33

Last part we're gonna talk about is the fruits of identity in Christ. There are so many. Um the biggest one is uh when your identity becomes rooted in Christ, you experience freedom. Freedom from people pleasing and caring what people think, bondage of the lives of the enemy, performance-based identity in comparison. And you what you gain is greater intimacy with God. You co-create with him, and he becomes the center of everything. You you decrease, he increases. You have peace in the storms. He doesn't say that if you live with your identity in him, that you're not gonna have crosses to carry. You will have crosses to carry. But when those storms come, you will experience more peace because your foundation is gonna be in him and not the things of the world. Okay. You're gonna have more confidence and authority. So you're not gonna be arrogant. You're gonna be confident in God. And you start living according to your values, not the other people's ideals of you. Okay. You have renewed thinking. You start beginning to think with the mind of Christ. You have that kingdom-based mindset. And you have clarity and courage to live your calling. You stop shrinking, you start dreaming again with God, and you have evangelization through your life. One of the things Stephanie and I talked about is she goes, Do you have any tips for evangelization? And I prayed. I prayed on this one, Stephanie. And God was like, This is so simple. Um, when you're rooted in Christ, people notice something different about you. It's like you have this invisible neon sign on your head that says, I am peaceful, I am joyful, um, I am rooted. And people start asking you, like, why are you so peaceful? Like, why are you not stressed out about this? Or you seem so happy. And you can say, I went to this really great Bible study yesterday, and I got really rooted in Christ with my friends and the women that I'm surrounded by, where we all have the same goal. And the Holy Spirit will give you the words, but I've done that before. I've had people ask me, you know, questions, and I, you know, they're like, Well, how come you weren't so stressed out about this thing? And I was like, Well, because I have Jesus. I never would have I never would have done that before, but I it's it's the grace of the Holy Spirit. But our evangelization comes from our presence, not necessarily our words. We don't have to shove it down anyone's throat. They see something's different. And I had these neighbors in my neighborhood that um when my before my husband and I had our encounter with Christ, we're like, something's different about them. They're so sweet. Like they're always just generous and kind and loving. And then when we went to our Protestant church, we look up and they're sitting in the, they're sitting like right next to us. We're like, oh, of course, they're Christian. It makes sense. So you want to be that ambassador for Christ. And um, certainly there's sometimes words that you need to say, but it will come forward so much more in in who you are and this identity that you're building. And that's the best, my best tip on evangelization. And I'm still learning it. I'm not the perfect evangelist, but I try to give credit for Jesus because I know that he's brought so many graces for me, you know, within my mental health. Like before I was in Christ, you know, when I was in my 20s, I was very anxious. I had depression, and I don't feel that way and too much anymore. Um, and I really I think it's a grace from God, and people do notice that you're more stable and grounded and peaceful. So that's my that's my tip for evangelization. So another question to ask before I close is where might God be inviting you to dream again? Maybe where have you put a dream he's given you on hold, or you think I can't do that, that's too much.

SPEAKER_00 50:51

I'd love to know that in the chat. If anyone wants to share, and if you don't want to share, that's okay too. Career and relationship with family. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 51:24

Another question that's kind of neat to think about is what kind of woman do you feel god God is calling you to become? Maybe think of some of those attributes.

SPEAKER_00 51:38

Relationships with my partner and as a mother, yeah. Beautiful. Being courageous, yes.

SPEAKER_02 51:53

Yes, when God calls us to things He's placed into our heart, um, it's uncomfortable and we have to be willing to um be courageous. But the reward is so beautiful when we do these things. So all right. Well, I just wanted to say that, you know, identity renewal is not instant. It's a daily process of rooting ourselves deeper in Christ. It's not something that happens overnight, it's not something God wants us to do on our own. And the more we spend time with him and get to know him and have a relationship with him, we can hear his voice more clearly and less of these voices of the world, you know, inviting the Holy Spirit to come in. And one of the things the Holy Spirit does is searches us and knows us. I can't think of the psalm right now, but I know there's a psalm that says, search me. And the Holy Spirit is very good at that. And you can start asking the Holy Spirit, what are these lies I'm believing about myself that are not serving these places that I want to go, these goals, these dreams I have going forward. So um just want you to know you're not alone. And uh all of us have identified with um getting caught up in the identity of the world. And it's really beautiful that we have Christ as our cornerstone, as our example and to draw from and and having community is so important too. And I just want to invite anybody on this call, if you are feeling like anything really stirred in your heart today resonated with you, and there is an area of your life where you want to move forward and you feel stuck. I do offer one-on-one coaching sessions, and anyone on this call is free to book a session with me. And Stephanie has made uh a beautiful guide that you can take to adoration. And on that guide at the bottom, there's a link to my calendar. I'd love to offer that for you guys. There's no pressure, it's just an opportunity for us to get together and talk about maybe some of these lies that you've believed and you know how you can get a little bit more clarity and move forward on a dream that God has placed into your heart. Because it really does start with what's going on in our head and that renewal of the mind. And that can be really hard to do on our own. So I just wanted to offer that to anyone here. And Stephanie, if you want to put in the link for the reflection guide in the chat, you can do that. And I wanted to end with, or if anybody has any questions, let me know. And then if not, I'll I want to end with a really beautiful prayer, and then I'm gonna pray us out as well. But does anybody have any questions before I pray us out? Okay. So I mentioned the Radiating Christ prayer. I really love this prayer. I don't know how it got introduced to me, but it's from St. John Henry Newman. And this is that process that we can start to become that light of Christ, where wherever we go, people recognize Christ within us. And it's called the Radiating Christ prayer. So I'm gonna pray that, and then I'll just pray us out after that. Okay. So I just invite you to close your eyes, get comfortable, relax, and just let this prayer um soak into you.

SPEAKER_00 55:23

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 55:23

Dear Jesus, help me to spread your fragrance everywhere I go. Flood my soul with your spirit and life. Penetrate and possess my whole being so utterly that my life may only be a radiance of yours. Shine through me and be so in me that every soul I come in contact with may feel your presence in my soul. Let them look up and see no longer me, but only Jesus. Stay with me, and then I shall begin to shine as you shine. So to shine as to be a light to others. The light, O Jesus, will be all from you. None of it will be mine. It will be you shining on others through me. Let me thus praise you in the way you love best by shining on those around me. Let me preach you without preaching, not by words, but by my example, by the catching force, the sympathetic influence of what I do, the evident fullness of the love my heart bears to you. Okay. And then I just invite you to join me in prayer in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Good and gracious God, thank you so much for this opportunity to join with women who are eager for more intimacy with you, for more identity in you. And Lord, I just pray over these women. I pray blessings upon them. I pray blessings upon their families. And I just pray that you open their hearts and help them to begin questioning the lies that they have believed in their life. And I pray that you start speaking truth over them. I pray that whatever information each of them needed to receive from this talk, that it would, it would bear fruit in their heart. And Lord, we are just so grateful for the opportunity to praise you and thank you for all the blessings you have given us in our lives. And we pray all this in your mighty name. Amen. Father, Sonic and Holy Spirit. Thank you, ladies.

SPEAKER_01 57:46

Appreciate you joining. Thank you, Stephanie. Carrie, I appreciate you, and I'm so glad that you were able to give the talk today.

SPEAKER_02 57:53

Thanks so much for tuning in to the Living Whole and Holy podcast. If you're ready to dive deeper into life coaching from a Catholic perspective, I have a few spots available for one-on-one coaching. This is an amazing opportunity for you to work with someone who will empower you and support you to dream again with God, find more alignment, peace, and confidence in your life, and be the greatest version of who God is calling you to be. I would be so honored to support you on this journey. Send me a DM on Instagram at Living Whole and Holy for a free one on one call to learn more. If this episode blessed you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share with a friend. And remember, instead of doing what makes you happy, do what makes you holy. Until next time, God bless.