Starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel

Another chit chat episode sharing about a new big step in my life and a shift in my mindset. 

Amazon link to "Wait, Did I Say That?" book by Jenny Dunkin and Shelley Haisman: http://bit.ly/4ntBcju 

(00:00) Starting to market my business 

(07:48) God wants good for us and wants to take care of us

(10:57) Is this manifesting?

(16:46) Living a truly free life

(19:24) Feeling more settled in Chicago

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:16

Okay. Test. Hello, everybody. So I thought for this episode, kind of like last episode, it's just gonna be a little chit-chatty. I'm just kind of gonna be updating you on like what's been going on the last week. Um, just some random things here and there. And then yeah, honestly, that's about it. Just a pretty chill, low-key, relaxed episode. But yeah, so one of the big things this week is I am finally starting to market my business. And this past week I've started like calling places and talking to people, and I'm gonna go start taking handouts to places. So yeah, it's like it's starting to become real. Like it's been real this whole time, but something about just marketing and now getting what I've been working on out there and telling people about it and advertising myself, which is so weird. I'm just like not used to that. Um is just like it's making it so much more real. Um, of like, oh my gosh, this is actually happening. And this is a door that the Lord isn't closing, like he's opening this, where like with things that I think I've told you guys about like when I've when I panic applied to like some minimum wage jobs, um, like none of those doors have even remotely opened at all. Like nothing back. And I applied to probably like 12. Um, but yeah, it's really cool. It's a little it was a little nerve-wracking at first. Um, just because it's like I've never done anything like this before or tried to like sell my own services. Um, but after like the first two phone calls, I was like, okay, okay, I've got this, I've got this. And like I had a little phone script um to kind of help me out when needed. And honestly, just kind of like learning along the way, like what's working and what's not, and tweaking just as I go and updating things as I go. And yeah, yeah. I will say the thing though is now that I'm actually starting to like reach out to people in places and um you know get my name out there. I can I found myself this weekend wanting to continue to work over the weekend. And yeah, I mean, there's just always something to do, and I could feel this like push against it, like not to kind of like, what are you doing? Like it's the weekend, which it was gone. And he's like, What are you doing? Like, it's the weekend, just relax. Like, you're just gonna it's just gonna be during the week, like any other job, and you know, by trying to do things out of my own power and flesh of like being like, Oh, well, I need to do this on the weekend, blah blah blah blah blah. Like, that is gonna be what would lead me into burnout again. Where if I just follow what where the Lord is guiding me and doing what he's telling me to do, I'm not gonna get burned out again. Um, but yeah, especially now too that it's like actually real, if like this is a thing. Like it's actually a thing now. Um I feel like I'm finally starting to see like the light at the end of the tunnel. Where I feel like the past few months since I've moved here, just everything with like starting this business and like really not knowing like my what's gonna be going on financially and all that kind of stuff. I felt like what it felt like was I had I it was I was in the dark holding God's hand and just trusting that he was leading me. And yeah, just like trusting him to guide me when I couldn't see anything is what it felt like. And now it's like I feel like we're like turning a curve where I'm still holding his hand, but now like I'm starting to see like light peak a little bit, you know, where it's like, okay, wait, like it's actually coming. This is actually working, like like you have a plan. And yeah, yeah, I just have like, especially since I've started like marketing, even though like nothing financially has changed, it's just seeing that like okay, this is actually happening. This is a door that the Lord is opening. He's gonna continue, He's gonna provide for me and He's gonna take care of me. But yeah, I'm like actually kind of starting to feel like business owner and like okay, this is like in my hands, and like I'm in control of this, and you know, not having to like I get to like choose my schedule and when I when I want to work, and even though I'm not getting paid right now, but like it's all on my time and there's so much freedom with it, and it's just it's really nice. Um but yeah, yeah, it's just so cool and so crazy, but it's also cool to just look at like even my like character growth over the last few months because yeah, even though like my circumstances with the business and like career-wise have been changing and shifting, like the big thing that I've really been stressed about has not changed. I still don't have income, but like my heart posture about it is totally different. There's like this trust and just full knowledge of it's gonna work. This is where God's leading me. He's open these opening these doors, he's not just gonna like let go of me here, and he's he's never gonna have me do this on my own. He's never gonna leave me alone, he's always gonna be with me through this. So that's been a really big thing, but also like kind of the marketing thing has been really cool too, because it's literally just whatever I want. Like I'm literally posting what I want, choosing like the designs for things, which there was a learning curve with that, because I just like was not good at like the designing part at first, but it's like okay, once now I've got like my color scheme down and overall theme, like I just kind of tweak it to whatever I'm making, but yeah, it's been really cool, and just to see like the growth of this over the last few months, too. It's just yeah, it's been really cool. So if you guys remember two episodes ago, I was telling you guys about that half day retreat I went on. So the sisters that were running the retreat, I ended up buying their book off of Amazon. And I literally think it's one of the best books I've ever read. I haven't finished it, but I'm just like, I don't want to put it down. I'm flying through it. It's just applying to my life so much right now. Um, and their book is called Wait Did I Say That? And it's Faith, Mindset, and Why Your Words Matter. Um, so it's really what talking about, it's really just what they were talking about at the um retreat, but just more in depth and more detail and more specific examples and stories and things like that. Um, but oh my gosh, it's just so relevant to my life right now. Um, especially just like given my financial situation. I mean, even though like I'm not constantly anxious about it like I was before, it that doesn't mean the anxiety just like goes away completely. But I would say the anxiety about my financial situation isn't like ruling and controlling and stressing me out like it was before. Like those thoughts will come up still, but I can now just like redirect them a lot easier. Um, but there were two things in the book that they were talking that I had written down and journaled about, um, that I wanted to go ahead and talk about because it just really stuck out to me. And I wanted to talk about like my reflection. So a quote from the book that really stuck out to me was God actually wants us to have success, prosperity, and abundance. And this is something that I have really over the last few months had a hard time fully believing in because, and I think especially that's also been heightened with like moving to the city, is seeing so many people who struggle with basic needs, and it's trying to click to for me now that even though people are struggling, that doesn't mean that's what God wants. People struggling is the result of sin entering the world, but God's kind of been helping me to see things from his point of view because in my personal life, there's someone who's not in the best situation right now. And you know, from the outside, I'm like, dang, like I really want, there's so much more for this person, and you know, I want them to experience so much more. And God's like, that's how I'm looking at you in your situation. I think I also talked about this in my episode before was their idea of flipping the script, and they had one specifically for flipping the script and speaking abundance, and two examples that they put were money flows to us in expected and unexpected ways, and we are wise stewards of our money and it multiplies. And when I first read this, my first thought in my mind was manifestation and thinking things into existence. And I was like, I don't know, it just felt so weird for me to say something like that, especially about money. Like, I don't know, it just kind of was like it like I was kind of like almost scared of it in a way. It made me feel uncomfortable for sure. Um, but as I was sitting and reflecting on it, I could feel the Lord being like, you're not trying to do this out of your own power, and you're not trying to do it without me, like manifestation does. But it's simply just taking a negative thought and turning it into a positive one, literally just focusing on the positive rather than the negative, and focusing on positive what ifs rather than negative what ifs. And I think for me, it's also been I've only heard of money talked about in this way in like new age context. Oh, also something when I was reflecting on this that I wrote down was um I know that everything is yours first, and anything that isn't from you is a distortion of what is yours good and true. And the idea of what you say and positive thinking comes from the Bible. Like, for example, in Ephesians 4.29, it says, When you talk, don't say anything bad, but say the good things that people need, whatever will help them grow stronger, then what you say will be a blessing to those who hear you. But the thing with manifestation is it's taking those good thoughts, but it takes God out of the equation and it's rooted in selfishness and just me, me, me, me, me, what do I want? What do I want? Where when we're with God, it's like, okay, God, what you want, your will be done while trusting that he is going to meet your desires and provide for you in ways that you couldn't even imagine. Like, I could never even imagine what he's doing in my life right now. And it's, oh, it's just, it's better than what I could have ever imagined. And that doesn't mean we're not gonna suffer and that things are just easier with God because that's not true. Um, we're still gonna suffer because sin has entered the world, but that doesn't mean that God doesn't want good for us, or that God doesn't want to provide for us, or that God doesn't want us to live in abundance. But the other piece of that puzzle is also that we open our hearts to him and don't close him off, and also go to him with humility. Oh, another verse that they mentioned in the book, um, just kind of going back to this idea of like what you think and what you say matters. Proverbs 423 says, Above all, be careful what you think because your thoughts control your life. Proverbs 16.3 says, Commit your work to the Lord and your plans will be established. And Philippians 4.8 says, Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there's any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. So those are just some verses that they had mentioned in the book. Um and yeah, it just shows that what we think and what we say matters. And in the book, they also talk about how all of this also lines up with just neuroscience as well. Um, and how when we continue to focus on the positive, how that literally creates like new pathways in our mind. And the more we practice this, the more that our mind will automatically default to the positive rather than the negative. Um, but yeah, that's just something that's been like so perfect timing, um, just right now with what's going on in my life. And it's just been such a comfort, and it's really helping me to like focus on the positive and like and really truly believing that God is going to take care of me and wants to take care of me, and my heart is open to him doing that. Where before that fear was closing off my heart, he was still taking care of me, but he also doesn't force his way in. He he's kind and gentle, and he never forces himself. So he was coming in as much as I was allowing him to. And now there's just this freedom with just living my life, going about my day, doing kind of what I want. You know what I mean? Literally living my life the way that I want to, that's honoring God, like in a good way. Um, you know, and going to him, being like, okay, what are what are we gonna be doing with the business today? And like it's just like little chunks here and there. And there's so much freedom in that. So much freedom. Like, I actually feel like I'm living life, and I feel like I'm not like stuck and like in a jail, honestly. Like, I just felt I felt like I was in this box before when I was working like a typical nine to five 40 hours a week, and I just feel like that box has been broken, and there's just like so much freedom where I can literally just live my life, and God is just doing it with me and guiding me where he wants me, and yeah, just having that trust in him that he knows the desire of my heart, and he is going to provide in ways that I can't even imagine. Um, but yeah, and like I said, that doesn't mean we're not gonna suffer. We live in a sinful world, but our God is good and he loves us and he wants to take care of us. And honestly, that kind of reminds me of my miraculous metal bracelet with Mary with the graces coming out as light in her fingers, but that some of them were dull because there is this abundance of graces to be given, but we're not asking for them or opening our hearts to them. And God wants us to do that so he can give them to us. God is going to bless us even when we don't realize it, even if we're not turned to him. He's still there, he's always there, but it's like on another level, when you open your heart to him and say, Yes, God, do your will, do what you want, God's like, Yes, finally, I can do what I have created her to do in her life. And I know that it's good for her, and it's gonna make her joyful and fulfilled, and it's gonna help others and bring others to me. And it's just like it's good for everybody, you know? And it just, oh yeah, yeah, he's so good. He's so good. So I've been feeling good this week. Um, yeah, things are just starting to really feel real. Things are just kind of starting to solidify too. I feel like now, with it being spring here, even though it's cold some days, like now that I've gone through like a season change where it's like, okay, I saw what the trees looked like with no leaves, and now I see them all green. And um even just like that shift, I'm like, okay, I'm actually like starting to be established here, and like this is where it's like, okay, I'm starting to like become established here, and my life is starting to build here, and like the relationships that I've made with people are just continuing to get deeper and deeper, and I'm just honestly continuing to love it even more the longer I'm here because I feel like the first few months when everything was just like all over the place, and I kind of felt like a chicken running around with my head cut off. I was like, I don't know. Like I said, I just I knew God was with me and I was following where he was leading me, but I just like didn't really know where we were going fully. Um and I still don't, but I definitely have a better idea, and like I said, can kind of see that light at the end of the tunnel. But um, anyways, yeah, I can just feel that this is starting, Chicago is now starting to feel more like home, and he's really starting to like build my life here. And I'm starting to feel a little bit more established, and that I know that feeling is just gonna continue to get stronger and stronger. Um, and it's also just exciting too, because I feel like finally it's my turn. We're like in college, you know, there were these restrictions where I had to go to schools that were in state. Um, so that restricted me. And then even like when it came to my first job, like I was restricted just based on like where the job was. And I didn't really like have much say in like where I went to college too much. Um, or like, you know, and then when I got my first job, that I just followed like where the job was. But now I feel like this is the first time I've moved and I'm like really excited to be here. And now that we're over that like initial hump of like settling in, um, and things are starting to feel a little bit more even keeled, even though things are obviously still a very big work in progress. Things are just starting to slowly with baby steps get a little bit more and more settled. Um, I'm just kind of like, yeah, like that it's my turn now. Can we? Because it was it it kind of sucked feeling like the one like left behind of seeing like people going to like their dream schools or moving to like their dream cities and like all that kind of stuff. And I was like, dang, like I'm stuck here or I'm stuck there, and I don't regret those things at all. Like they all have been such a path on my journey, and looking back, like God placed me exactly in those places for a reason, and like I can see that, and I would never change those things. But it's like okay, I actually chose this place, I chose Chicago. Kind of like starting with a fresh slate. It's like me and God are like doing this together, and kind of like, I don't know if I want to say starting over, but it's just like there's just so much freedom, so much freedom. It's like you could go anywhere. Where do you want to go? And it was and I was like, okay, well, like, I mean, you guys know the whole Chicago story. Ended up being Chicago because I felt like that just matched with what I was what I've been wanting in life, um, and lining up with my values as a person and what I like. And yeah, and then with no job, working out that I've applied to, and now starting my own business, like it's really just there's just so much freedom, and that freedom just oh, it comes, it only comes from the Lord for real. It's so amazing. But anyways, so that's a little life update on what's kind of been going on the last week or so. But I'll link that um book from Jenny and Shelley. I'll put the Amazon link in my um description for the video. But yeah, I'm serious. This is probably like one of the best books that I've read. It is just it's such an easy read. It's not complicated, it's so functional. They give you so many like specific examples of um script, well, things to speak into your life, but scripture and um like actual helpful tools without overcomplicating it. It's it's so good. It's so good. Um, so yeah. Well, I will talk to you guys next week. Love you. Bye.