Lots of new things

From music festivals to grief - giving you guys a quick update on all the new things from this past week. 

Transcript

Look at my clips

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello everybody, welcome back. Okay, first before we get started, do you guys like my clips? They're my mom's. I don't think I've ever worn them on here. I've only started wearing the I'm turning my head like I'm looking in a mirror, but I'm more just trying to show you guys. Anyways, so yeah, these are my mom's, and I only started wearing her hair accessories after she passed. She used to wear this kind of stuff all the time. Um, like lots of headbands and clips and stuff like that. But I don't think I've ever worn them on here, so I wanted to show you guys. Um, yeah. But I have a lot to update you guys on. As you can tell, feeling a little bit better compared to last week. Last week I was just feeling so down and discouraged and hopeless. Yeah, I was just I was not in a good place. I wasn't in a good place really the beginning of this week either, but the last couple days I feel like I'm getting back on track and feeling good and new hope. So, yeah, but I've got a few new things to update you guys

My first edm festival

SPEAKER_00 1:16

on. Um, first thing I'll update you guys on is the music festival that I went to this weekend. So I went to the Lakeshore Music Festival. This was the first music festival in Chicago that I've been to. The only other music festival I've been to was the Country Music Fest. This was like, I don't know, five years ago. This was, it was in Ohio, but I was living in Virginia at the time. And I was literally only wanting to go to see Parker McCollum. So my sister and I drove six hours to Ohio for that festival, and we got there and it was just like a county fair, and they didn't even check our tickets when we went in, and we drove six hours for it. So that's the only other festival I've went to. So this was my first music festival in Chicago, EDM music, so a lot different. Um, and I loved it. I feel like the more I've just been getting into house music and dancing to house music, I'm really just learning how my body is just naturally reacting to music because as you guys know, like I grew up dancing. It was always someone else's choreography that I was learning. I wasn't doing a whole lot of my own. I mean, sometimes we would do improv, but I was just, I was so uncomfortable and would always get so in my head about it. Where now I feel like I'm finally starting to feel comfortable in my body, allowing my body just move and dance the way it wants to. And it's just so fun and it's so freeing, and it's just the more that I'm comfortable in my own skin and more comfortable with myself. I'm more comfortable to just be more in tune with my body and let my body dance and move how it wants and just have fun and be free. And it just I've always loved dance, but it's just making dance even more fun. And yeah, it's just really cool. So, yeah, that was fun. And then um

Leading my first group

SPEAKER_00 3:30

something else that's new that I started this week is co-leading a not a Bible study, but a small group at church, and this is my first time co-leading, semi-leading anything, anything with my peers, at least. Like I've led kids, you know, like when doing swim team coaching or teaching dance or working at daycares, like that kind of stuff. But leading a group of my peers, I've never done that before, so this is new for me. Um, but I'm glad that I have co-leads, so it's not just me in charge of everybody. Um, and then one of my co-leads is experienced leading this group. So he's done it before in the past. And yeah, it just makes it just take the pressure off a little bit, but yeah, I'm just excited to even do that. Like that is something so new for me and just out of the realm for me. I will, I wouldn't say as much out of the realm now because I definitely am getting more comfortable talking in groups and sharing what's on my mind and stuff like that, because the last two Bible studies I've been in, I've noticed I'm just getting more comfortable talking, even like being the first one to share. Which, if you know me from middle and high school, that is not me at all. I was always the girl who didn't want to participate, or if I got caught on, my face always got red. Like, I definitely was known as like the shy girl, you know. But yeah, so like comparing to that to now, like I I would have never thought back then that I would be co-leading a group of my peers now. Like, it just it's just so crazy. And it's only God, like it's only by the grace of God, and it's only him working in me and making more making me more comfortable and confident in myself in the way that he created me to be. Like, that is the that's literally the only reason why is just because of him helping me to discover myself and who he made me to be. So we've only had one meeting so far, but it was really nice, and it's all new people. People, I don't I haven't prior to the first meeting, I didn't know anybody before. So all new people, which is good for me to just get to know more people and stuff, but yeah.

Business ups and downs

SPEAKER_00 6:17

And then the new thing that happened today is my LLC just got approved, which oh my gosh, I have been waiting three months for this approval from the state. It has been so crazy. So, for context, I have my LLC, but since I'm in healthcare, that LLC then has to get approved and registered with the licensing for professions. So that group, the licensing board for professions for the state, they were the ones who gave me my individual speech therapy license. But then I also had to get this LLC approved with them, too, just since it's all under the healthcare umbrella. So if that made any sense, it's just there's been so many hoops to jump through with this, and this has been the longest one. It was the last one and the longest one. So it was like after I had everything, this was the last thing I needed. It was essentially just like a stamp of approval. Reddit told me that it should only take a few days. It started taking weeks for me, so then I called them around week four and asked them what was going on, and they say said it could take up to 12 weeks at the maximum. So in that time, I've just been doing a lot of marketing, calling places, taking handouts, posting stuff online, all that kind of stuff. And then this week, so this week was week 12, and no approval. I called them and told them, hey, it's been the 12 weeks. I was told 12 weeks max, and they ended up escalating it, still hadn't heard anything. I had therapy on Monday. I was just crying the whole time because I was just so just just so discouraged. But yeah, I was just feeling so stressed about everything. So since she's also a therapist, although a different type of therapist, she also had to get licensed through this um department of regulation. And she was telling me hers took a really long time and that she had to reach out to a state representative to get them to move things along, which is so crazy. Like you shouldn't have to do that. But, anyways, so I ended up doing that, especially when I don't know, I just when they told me it got elevated, it didn't make me feel any better because I was like, okay, I still don't have that, doesn't give me really in any information. They couldn't give me a second timeline of any type, like nothing. So the state representative was able to get me a little bit more information, and what ended up happening was the whole system crashed, and they couldn't even get to my application. They said they could see it, but they couldn't, I guess they couldn't like click it open and see all the stuff inside. So that is when I kind of lost it just with like crying. I literally on the phone to like the rep was like sobbing. It was a hot mess. Um, but anyways, thankfully they moved pretty quick after finding out that the system's down and stuff, so yeah. So then I got approved today. So I am officially official and can legally start seeing patients. So yeah, it's like it feels like this wall or this gate that I've been behind has just been opened, and it like feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulder, but at the same time, I'm feeling a little anxious still because yes, this gate's open, it's ready for patience, but I don't have any patience. I still need to get them. So that's kind of where we're at. It's like, okay, I hit this one milestone, and now it's like, okay, on to the next, and now that's what I'm anxious about. So yeah, it's just it's like I feel better, but also not really. No, I don't want to say not really. I'm definitely feeling a lot better. It's just still not where it needs to be yet. But yeah, I'm just continuing to trust God through it and trust that this is the plan that he has for my life because truly, out of all the job things, like this is the only one where even though they're opening slowly, this is the only one where the doors are actually opening. So yeah, yeah, so I'm feeling hopeful. I trust him. I know he's gonna provide and take care of me, and he knows exactly who he's going to bring into my life, and vice versa. But yeah, it's just still because there's some uncertainty hanging over all of it, but things are rolling, things are moving, which is a good thing.

Mom's anniversary coming up

SPEAKER_00 12:01

I think things have also just been feeling heavier too. Recently, on top of all of this, is my mom's two-year anniversary is coming up. So I can already feel the grief kind of creeping in. Things are feeling heavier, crying a lot easier. Yeah. Yeah. It's just adding to everything. And now I'm also starting to feel like I'm in a, well, not feel. I mean it feel, but also because it's the truth. Like I'm in a totally different chapter now. It makes me sad because I'm like, mom doesn't know this version of me, and it's like I can't call her and talk to her about it, and plan visits for her to come out, and all the things that I wish I could be doing. And there's so much here that reminds me of her too, because she loved photography, so there's so many things as I'm just walking around, especially down by the water by the lake, where I'm just like, mom, I could just see mom taking so many pictures. But yeah, things are definitely just starting to feel heavier with her anniversary coming up. Yeah, I just think back to two years ago, and so much has changed in those last two years, and I have changed so much in those last two years, and it's just so weird and surreal to think that she's not here directly experiencing this. Yeah, I guess it was just really the first time that I've had that feeling of wow, things are a lot different and have changed since when mom was last here and the last time I talked to her. And it's just it really puts thing in things into this weird perspective, and it's just weird to think that's even gonna continue like that, where I especially like with later milestones in life and stuff, just for things I always thought she was gonna be here for that she's not gonna be there for. So yeah, it's just weird. It's adding heaviness. Yeah, like I think what would mom think of all of this? Like of me moving to Chicago and starting my own business and that kind of stuff. Like it's it's just so weird not being able to share this stuff with her and have her here for all these things. I know she would be freaking out about me moving to Chicago. Sorry, Mom! I know you would be. Oh gosh. But yeah. Yeah, so this this episode was really just more just some updates from the last week. I feel like there's been quite a few updates and firsts and stuff like that. So yeah. Well, that's all I've got for today. And I will talk to you guys next week. Love you. Bye bye.