Faith, Flour, and Healing: How Joy Parms Turned Grief Into Purpose”

This deeply personal and faith-centered episode of Unstoppable with Dr. Paulette Scott, we sit down with Joy Parms — business owner, worship leader, grandmother, and founder of Parms Pounds Bakery.

Joy’s story is one of resilience, faith, and rebuilding after loss. Through grief, uncertainty, and life’s unexpected seasons, she discovered that healing often begins in quiet places — in prayer, in worship, and even in the simple act of creating something with your hands.From behind the salon chair to building her own baking business, Joy shares how God used her pain as soil for new purpose. She reminds us that grief does not mean life is over — it means something new is waiting to grow.

In this episode, Joy opens her heart about loss, faith, rebuilding identity, and how purpose can still rise after everything feels broken.

This conversation is for anyone learning to breathe again after loss.

Ready to Unlock Your Purpose?

Thank you for tuning in to Unstoppable with Dr. Paulette Scott. This show is dedicated to helping faith-driven entrepreneurs and individuals navigating loss to plant seeds of resilience, cultivate purpose, and build an abundant life—from the soil up.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_04 0:15

Oh Andre, I wake up each day. Your left fingers in every way.

SPEAKER_02 0:32

Welcome everybody. Welcome to week. Gosh, I can't believe it. We're on week eighteen already. Welcome to Unstoppable with Dr. Paulette Scott. Unstoppable was created, everyone, just from turning my pain into purpose. I want this podcast to remind you that no matter what life takes from you, there is something powerful that is always waiting to bloom inside of you. I am a widow, a mother, grandmother, an author, respiratory therapist. I received my doctorate degree in public policy and administration. And most importantly, I discovered my passion as a master gardener. My space is truly to allow everyone to have a voice, everyone to share what life has brought to them and how they've overcome it. Today I am here with a special guest. And each week I'm gonna have either a topic of discussion, rather it's your faith, our healing, entrepreneurship, gardening, growth. Because we're gonna bring an unspoppable spirit. We will grow again and we will become unstoppable through our journey. So let's take a deep breath. Grab your notepad and your pencil and let's get through this life one journey at a time. Today, everyone, again, I have a very special guest with me today. She is someone who is very special to me and to my heart. Not only is she my niece, but someone who has been a daughter to me and my husband. Joy is a woman whose life reflects faith, resilience, creativity, and purpose. Joy is a retired hairstylist of 24 years with additional experience in healthcare, worked as a laboratory tech, customer service, and quality control. She is a wife, mother, and three of a grandmother of three, y'all. Yeah. It's beautiful. Her with such beautiful grandchildren and children, she is also the owner of Palms Pound. It's a bakery, y'all heard me right. Home-based bakery business. She's built from the ground up, creating not just desserts, but moments of comfort and celebration and healing through her gift. Joy is a worship leader, a prophetic intercessor, and a woman who has walked through grief, loss, and life changes in her seasons. Yeah. She continues to use her voice, her faith, and her creativity to help others. Wow. That is my blood. Yeah, I'm very proud here. Can y'all tell I'm a proud auntie? Her creativity as she's helping others, she helps them with healing growth. And remember that even after loss and purpose still lives within you, joy serves. Hello, my love. How are you? Welcome to Unstoppable with Dr. Paulette Scott. Hey, hey, hey, we finally made it. Yeah, we have been trying to do this for some time. And I just know that spiritually, emotionally, it means the world to me. There's this connection of deep emotions I'm feeling, and I'm trying to hold back one of my many nieces that again has not just been my niece. I truly tell my sister you were our child, me and my husband's child. We always felt you were our daughter, and you are our daughter. We've been blessed to have both roles in having you in our life. And I know that for the first time you heard me as we talked last week, but I've all I've said it many times before. I remember when you were born and your mother gave you your name. And I just thought, man, joy star. That had to mean something to her to name you. And for me, it's always been it was perfectly. You are a joy to have in anybody's life. It's a blessing to have you. And then the star you have always been. And no matter what you do, you've shine throughout your life. And so Auntie is very proud of you, I must say. And you guys, I hope that each and every one of you that is listening today or watching this podcast, please remember that the message you are going to get from this interview with this young lady, pass it, share it. We've got so much to cover. So, Joy, before we get started, can you please go ahead and introduce yourself to the listeners and share who you are today as a woman, a mother, a grandmother, a business owner, and a purpose.

SPEAKER_00 5:46

No pressure. That's a lot. Okay. It's a lot. Who are you, love? Who are you? Who is joy? Well, hey, everybody. Um joy, joy, joy, joy. Um, I'm a woman who's been carried by grace, um, and rebuilt by faith and refined by the fire because there's no other way. And um, I'm still laughing along the way. Yes, that's not that's not easy to do. Yes, I'm a worshiper at heart. Um, I think I'm a builder by calling, um, and a nurturer by nature, you know. I'm someone who loves deeply, whether I want to or not. Um, I I tend to uh I guess it's a you know probably a gift from God to always kind of see the good in everything, even when it's ugly. I I give generously. That's times, talents, and treasures. That's what the Bible requires us to do. I don't, you know, I really don't have much regrets, if any. You know, if I if I did, I'm sure it'd be right off. I could remember all of that. Um I believe wholeheartedly that God wastes nothing. He don't waste nothing at all. Nothing is by accident, happenstance, none of that. He he again he wastes nothing, not not the tears, not the detours, not the delays. You know, the woman that I am now is uh softer in heart. Um, because you know, we always taught to be so strong and you know, don't show it on, don't don't let them see you cry. You know, sometimes they need to see you cry. Because you know, that's that's realistic. Um I'm softer at heart, stronger in my spine, and um clearer in my identity. Um, I know who I definitely know who I am now and absolutely who I'm not. And and more importantly, I know whose I am. Yeah, and um, and that changed everything. Once I knew all that, it all lined up, that that changed it all. And you gave this long list. Yes, I'm a retired hairstylist of 20, 24 years, which I absolutely loved. I ate, sleep, drank, hair business for a very, very, very, very long time. And that switched over to baking, and that still blows my mind. Uh, a wife almost 10 years. Um that went fast, mother of three, grandmother of three. Oh, there's so much.

SPEAKER_02 8:42

Wow, yeah, you have a lot of you have a lot of hats, a lot of roles, you know, uh Joy, but let's let's talk a little bit about, you know, you've you've walked through some some different worlds, right? Your hairstyling, lab, in the healthcare area, customer service, ministry, motherhood, wifehood, grandmotherhood, and now entrepreneurship. And entrepreneurship for many years in your life. When you think about your journey, what would you say have been the defining moments that shaped your resilience?

SPEAKER_00 9:22

Oh, these are some good questions, they get to the core real quick, don't they? Um, I would have to say my resilience was built in the in-between seasons. Um, the seasons where I showed up without the applause. I showed up uh in silence, you know, without the guarantees, without answers, without a blueprint of some kind. Working across different fields taught me how to how to have adaptability. Motherhood taught me how to sacrifice, ministry taught me how to surrender, loss taught me depth. Um, because you don't really know what you need to know until you lose, and that's anything that's time, people, places, things, you know. Reinvention taught me courage. That's not easy to do when you totally, you know, reliant on this type of income, this type of field, this type of career, and then it abruptly shifts without permission for us, sort of speak. Um, you have to learn how to pivot and pivot well, pivot without complaining, and you know, pivot without being scarred, you know. Um, I didn't become resilient because it was easy. I became resilient because quitting wasn't an option, you know. Absolutely. It's not an option that God gave me, at least, and me have peace about it. Every pivot has sharpened me instead of stopped me. So that's the best I can answer that question.

SPEAKER_02 11:20

I love that. I love that. Boy, don't don't start me to shout, yeah, we still got a ways to go. But that was that was powerful, that word right there. Thank you so much, because it is something like, and just the fact that you said stopping is an option for me, that is truth, right? Because God didn't design us at any time in our life or shaped us to be quitters, right? And so, in order to live our purpose and to move forth in what plans he have of us, we can't we can't be soft, we gotta be soldiers in his army, right? Yeah, that was powerful. So, you you are a worship leader and a prophetic intercessor, which means carrying people through burdens to me. That's what I see it, yeah. While while pushing them toward healing, how how would you say um how has worship healed you in your private battles?

SPEAKER_00 12:24

You know, I actually thought about this yesterday. Um so it's it's not it's not too crazy that you asked me this question today. Worship has healed me personally it I think it does most of its work in private before I ever before it ever flows through me in public. It definitely deals with me in private and helps me deal. It deals with me and helps me deal. Um worship gave me a language to my pain and my concerns. Um, it let me cry without breaking and and and hope without pretending because that's easy to do, that's very easy to do. Um in worship, uh I don't have to perform, I get to be honest, uh, whatever that looks like, whatever that sounds like. You know, I don't have to put on the airs you have to put, I don't have to put on a certain kind of face to be accepted or or you know, to get through. Um, I just get to be honest. Um, some of my deepest healing happened in my living room and in my bedroom on the floor, you know, um, no microphone, no audience. Um, just me and God working things out note by note and tier by tear. So it's almost um it's like air, you know what I mean? And I and I say that as far as you know, it's like a it's an exchange of some kind. I get to breathe out all the junk and then I breathe him in, and then that's what comes through that microphone. That's amazing, and that's and that and I have to be you know conscious about that, you know.

SPEAKER_02 14:19

Yeah, wow, that's that's that is really like I I tell you, like uh when I tell y'all I got y'all gonna have a message or some healing today, I'm not joking with you because the reason I say her her name fits her, not joy just for happiness, but joy when it comes to someone being able to communicate with you in your life and give you that sense of honest peace. And that's what she's always done, and it's just who God created her to be. She's always been who she is. So I can tell you guys that um even in her music and her voice, and she is an amazing singer, you get the the you get the feeling that anointing and that that's that's anointing they got on their life, and you get the feeling that spirit in your system, that's what she does when she sings. Yo, I've never heard her sing and didn't shed a tear. I'm just saying, because she is anointed in that. Wow, it's just you it's just amazing. So let's let's talk a little bit about your business. Let's talk about perm spar. Let's talk about the bakery, and you know, the bakery that's such a blessing to so many people. What inspired you to start it, and how has bacon become a source of joy or even a ministry for you? You know what?

SPEAKER_00 15:39

It's all of that, all of that, it's all of it. Um, Harms Pound kind of emerged uh in one of my hardest, hardest trying times. I was always uh I could always cook, right? You know, I could do that with my eyes closed. No, no big deal since I was five years old, and I blame all of y'all for that. All y'all, all y'all being my aunties, and uh um, no, I just you know, I just really enjoy cooking, but baking was always a little bit more of a challenge because I can never really follow a recipe, you know, like on the back of a box. I still can't to this day. It's kind of like I see it and then I'll do it, you know. But reading it, it somewhere gets all bunched up. But uh Parns Pounds, how did it happen? Um, well, one day I woke up and could not walk. No explanation. No, I didn't fall, I didn't have an accident, you know, you know, all the things that usually could lead up to something like that. Um, I just couldn't walk. In my mind, I was walking, but my body wasn't responding. And of course, you know, that's that's scary. And and I had to, I remember it was about four in the morning, and um my daughter, um, my oldest daughter in the other room sleeping, and I had to crawl to the bathroom. You know, I didn't I didn't want to alarm her because one, I don't know what's going on. Then two, in my mind, I'm trying to figure out like, okay, is this a dream? Like, you know, how because I was I walked to bed. How come I can't get out of this bed? So it took about probably about two hours. I I stayed in that bathroom for about two hours on that floor until my legs came kind of working order and it still wasn't all the way, and then I just you know took some like Tylenol, whatever it was, and um I sat there until I could could walk. Then uh I kind of just stayed quiet about it because you know I didn't because because my oldest daughter, she will she get right in there with you, boy. If you hurting this, now all of a sudden she hurting, you know. So I didn't want, I didn't, she was like just starting high school. I didn't want that kind of burden on her, right? And then um, so I proceeded to see what was going on at this time. I couldn't stand up after that day. I couldn't stand up completely straight for probably about two years before they realized what was going on. They they misdiagnosed me, they said I had lupus, and um I did not. I took lupus medication, I lost 12 to 18 inches of hair. When my grandmother saw that, she said, girl, you you stop taking that medicine, you don't have lupus, they don't know what they're talking about. You better trust God. And I had never really heard her talk about God, like ever. But when it's something about how she said it, it kind of like just straightened me up, you know. And so then we found out, you know, as time went on that I had uh spinal stenosis and uh neuropathy issues and still came out of nowhere, other than that, pretty healthy, never had any issues, never broken anything, you know. Yeah, and that being you know, being in the hair business, you know, I'm on my feet all day long, and I could no longer do that. Um, I tried doing that from a chair that slowed me down. You know, I I used to pride myself on my timeliness concerning hair, you know, not the the the cliche of you in this uh hair shop all day. No, I didn't do that. Your appointment time was your time, get you in, get you out, you know. Um and you know, I did it like two-hour blocks, you know, and but it's still very personable every you know appointment. But um that changed. I could no longer a career that I built for 24 years was just gone overnight. And so I found myself back on that floor. I said, what do we do now? Because you know, I'm I'm 24 years, you know, you you you made it, you know, you are still thriving, you know, because the beauty business thrives and any any whatever shape the the uh economy is in, the beauty business thrives because people don't want to look like what they're going through. Yeah, absolutely, and um, so I didn't have that anymore. So um I heard the Lord so clear, so clear, so clear, like he was sitting right here, which he is, you know. He said, Bake a cake. Now, now I said that's not that that can't be God because you know I can't bake, okay? So I'm I I burn cookies, we're not doing, we're not doing this. He said, bake a cake, and he never and I said, Okay, uh, you know, I'm all about obedience. I'm gonna bake this cake. And it's it's about five in the morning. And I go in there and I uh just so happen to have all the ingredients for a pearl cake. And um I I I swear it was like my grandma was standing right there in that kitchen with me. I just mocked everything I ever saw her do sifting that flour and everything, right? So I made the cake, and by the time the kids got up for uh school, the cake was sitting there just cooling off, just as pretty as can be. Now I'm scared to eat it because I don't know, guys.

unknown 21:40

I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 21:41

And so they they tried it and they was like, Oh, this is good. So I just kept making cake like that, then you know, letting friends and stuff try it, and other family, and then somebody said, You need to start selling these. And I said, Oh, really? Hmm, yeah. Um Now I don't I don't like cake. Any kind of cake other than cheesecake. I do not like cake. So um I was kind of just taking people's word for it. And I remember grandma used to say, she used to say, bake with your your nose. You cook with your nose and your eyes, not just what you what you are physically doing with your hands. So if it smells right, nine times out of ten, this tastes amazing. So I went by how it smelled. I took some to work uh because I started a side job at that point where I could sit down, which that was weird getting back into customer service after being self-employed for for uh 24 years. And I started selling it at work, and they kept me busy to where it was beginning to interfere with work. You know, you get a sense like you're in a shift, yeah, and you just don't necessarily have a clear picture, but you can sense it in everything you do. Um, so I was sitting there at work one day and I said, Lord, you know, however you want to do it, I I feel like you're transitioning me off my job, which I said I got promoted off my job. And I said, I don't care how you do it, just um as long as we don't skip a beat financially. Yes. Um and you gotta be careful what you pray. Because when I prayed that my legs and my spine got worse, so I had to leave that job, and the only income I had was um baking. By now I'm I'm married. By this time I I was married, and my husband from the jump, he he said, Um, I don't care what it looked like, you're healed. Wow, because I thought it would hinder. I'm like, here I'm a newlywed, and I and I'm just a burden to my husband, and he I'm sure he he wanted to marry somebody with legs at work, and but he said he just kept saying, You're healed, you're healed, you're healed, and um, so baking was just kind of like a no-brainer at this point. Um, so I guess for a lack of better words, you know, Paris Powns was born for love, creativity, and a whole lot of holy therapy.

SPEAKER_02 24:32

Oh Lord, and I would tell you, like I can tell you your ratings and reviews are amazing. I've had some of your sweets. You did our granddaughter's wedding dessert table, and I can tell you that I don't know why you say you, why you didn't know you couldn't bake. I I I just I just think a lot of times as we mature, God starts allowing us to see our purpose and what he's blessed us with. You didn't spend one day in school to learn culinary, you know, this is straight. That's when you know you were designed to do this, right? Because there's no education to teach us, yeah, and you are phenomenal with it. And and and then been on the news, right? Like you got interviews on the local news channel there in Ohio.

SPEAKER_00 25:19

I have um is Good Day Cleveland. Um, you know, the couple of podcasts here and there. Well, then not say little podcast, because they're they all matter. There's a couple podcasts and interviews and do several events. Um, so you know, it's been keeping me busy. Bacon really has become my my reset button, you know, it's it's where uh precision meets my patience for sure, and my patience meets my peace. Yeah, and um, you know, and it's always great to be able to create something sweet with my hands and um becomes a reminder that beauty can can come from pressure and heat, you know. Absolutely. Like it's not, I didn't realize I was still creating it, it just wasn't in somebody's hair. You know, now it's on the table, you know, and it's like the centerpiece of every event. Sometimes I I say all the time because I'm I'm you know constantly praying, like, oh, let this bless whoever, you know. You always want stuff to be a success. But um, the one day my grandson said, uh, because they called me Mimi, he said, Mimi, you serve uh healing on a plate. And I was like, Oh wow, that's when I finally saw like the ministry. Yes, you know, yes, yes. Um always I say sometimes some people counsel with words, I counsel with cake, literally, no pun intended, joy in absolutely every ingredient, every ingredient.

SPEAKER_02 27:05

I love that, I love that, and you know, I'd be remiss if we missed this. Um, joy behind you is your book, your new author. Um, and and y'all see me smiling. Uh, you're a new author, and I don't want to miss that. Tell me about healing journey to wholeness and identity and and peace. What tell us a little bit about this book? And and I'm we're gonna get back to the questions, but this is powerful, and you can see the book cover. And you can find your book on Amazon. Is it released now, or are we waiting on a few days here? What's what's going on with it?

SPEAKER_00 27:42

Um, yes, it's it's released now. It was released um on well, the the original date was supposed to be February 14th, but they let it go live on the 6th. So you absolutely can find it on Amazon. You know, we're working on getting it on other platforms. Um, this book is a journal, it's a 21-day journal, and um it has I have had to live this thing a while writing it, and I did not realize um until probably halfway through that it literally each day that I was writing, it was something that I had to endure. Um, and you know, it it it it helped you have to get real honest with yourself. You have to, you know, there's a there's a scripture and there's prayer and there's questions on each day, and you have to answer that question that day, or the next day won't make sense. So it's it's really trying to, I guess, teach us how to get um more serious and intentional about our wholeness, and and um you can't have wholeness without peace. You can't have peace without wholeness, and in those two, somewhere in between, you find your identity, you know. Um, like you need to answer questions like what does wholeness look like for you? Because it doesn't look the same for everybody else. That's right. Um, what new season do you sense? Like what's what's happening in your world right now? You know, um, who do you know who you are? Do you know that you don't have to be, you know, what mama was and grandma them was? Do you know that you can kind of carve your own in your world, no matter how small or big it is? Um and where do you where do you actually need renewed strength? Like you have to answer these actual questions. It you really get to know you and the you you're you're becoming, or the you you need to become.

SPEAKER_02 30:03

Yeah, I am definitely ordering it today. Um, I didn't know if it was already on there, and I I'm looking forward to taking that 21-day journey and utilizing it. Um, and again, I just everybody, I am gonna make sure that the link to journal book is available. Journey, journey. It'll be available. Um, the link to click on underneath the video. If you are watching on YouTube, you guys will be able to get it there. And at the end of the video, after any of our discussion, I will put her links up, her website as well to Parms Pounds. So you'll have both links to be able to click to or get it on the website. It will be there so that you guys can reach out to her and contact her. And she is also currently on the website as well. So if you need to connect with uh Miss Parms, you will be able to reach her there. Yeah, and there's number two coming out, okay, okay.

SPEAKER_00 31:03

Volume two is coming out, volume two.

SPEAKER_04 31:06

I love that.

SPEAKER_00 31:07

Volume two is is should you should go through that one to heal you. So now it's like, okay, now I'm healed. Now what? I love that. I love that. Just leave people hanging, you know, because that's what happens a lot of time, and when you just stay in that in-between, and that opens the doors right back up for you to go backwards, yeah. So, you know, that's gonna be fun. That'll be um, that should be by May.

SPEAKER_02 31:34

Oh, that is exciting. I'm really looking forward to getting my hands on that. I'm gonna order it today. Now, is it is it a work, is it uh ebook to download or is it hard copy I can get?

SPEAKER_00 31:45

It's hard copy right now. The ebook should be ready to go the middle of March. Okay, great. Um, so and it should when the ebook comes out, it'll be in seven different languages. So oh wow, yeah. I'm trying to, you know, I don't want to leave anybody out.

SPEAKER_02 32:02

Wow, what a blessing. I told y'all her name was definitely designed. God gave my sister that name for her because she didn't just come up with that. What a joy! Wow, that's amazing. Well, thank you for letting me interrupt you for a minute. I didn't want to forget to mention that author is another title you wear, and that's a new title. And of course, I am very proud of you being that you are now another author in the family.

SPEAKER_03 32:30

Right.

SPEAKER_02 32:31

Um, you are the third author in the family, and so I'm very, very excited. I have you and Joanna. I just, you guys are making me so proud. My daughters, okay. So uh so the next question I got, Joy, is many of our listeners, you know, feel stretched, yeah. Um, some tired or overwhelmed, especially women carrying, you know, that role of uh as family and having to work, and you know, they've got re emotional responsibilities. Yeah, what have you learned about being a mother, grandmother, wife and business owner without losing yourself? What have you learned? How have you been able to do that without losing who you are? Yeah, because you know, like for me, I never thought about who I was until I lost your uncle slash dad. I never knew who Paulette was, and so I'm learning. But what about yourself?

SPEAKER_00 33:36

Have you um you know realistically, and I guess I kind of always been this way without even trying, you know. I it's it just I kind of default to it. I I learned how to balance. Um, I learned that balance isn't about equal time, it's about intentional presence, right? Yeah, um, I stopped trying to be everything perfectly and started being present on purpose. Um, I schedule, I literally schedule rest. That's right like I schedule my responsibility. Like any, you there's a counter on a refrigerator, and it's in big red letters, nothing. Because that's what I'm gonna do. Absolutely nothing, and that's not just a reminder for me, it's for everybody else too. I'm I'm not putting anything on this day. I'm not just I don't look seek the Lord, uh figure it out, uh, call a friend. Uh um, I've I've truly, and I'm talking about in this past year, I have learned how to say no without feeling guilty about it. That's right. Um I ask for help without apology. Like I need help. I check in with myself spiritually and emotionally, not just everybody else, because I wasn't doing that. You know, it's not stuff you you are taught. You kind of you learn how to just keep going and then and then only stop when you're exhausted. That's that's not fair, that's not fair to your body, that's not fair to your mind, it's not fair to everyone else who's gonna need you in the next 15 minutes. Absolutely. Um, and I learned that you can really love people deeply without disappearing completely, because as women, we do that, we really do that as as devoted wives and mothers and and friends, you know, because we show up in our friendships just like we show up in our our homes. And it's like, you know, no, I'm not my no is no, yes, and it's with it's without apology. So that's that's how I balance. I say no when I when I should, and I say yes when I can, and I give what I can without depleting myself, and that's so powerful to get ourselves in that situation where we're okay with yeah, not worrying about what others see, what others accept when we make that decision, because it's all about our health as well.

SPEAKER_02 36:18

So that's powerful to get there, stay strong, and stand on that. Because as long as you leave yourself open, you will be drained by others, and oh we have to be able to, yeah, that's that's powerful. You know, in in your in your own healing journey, been through life, right? Like we like that. What role would you say faith has played in that?

SPEAKER_00 36:43

Faith is was and is my anchor. Because my feelings are not reliable. Faith keep it keeps me uh steady when um when the outcomes are absolutely uncertain because they are they definitely do that. Um and you know, I have to say for anybody who listening who feels you know like spiritually weak and and um strength is your strength is not as loud. Sometimes strength is just whispering, God help me, you know, and really meaning it. You know what I'm saying? Like you don't have to feel powerful to be held by his power. You don't he wants us to come to him just like that, in that condition, in that state, in that in that season, whatever it is. So uh faith helps me stay connected, even um loosely. That's great, still connected, and and God will meet you in that low battery mode.

SPEAKER_02 37:55

Yeah, yeah, and you know, and I was gonna ask you that, and I think you really answered the next part of that question was for someone listening who may not feel spiritually strong right now, right now, as they're listening to us, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 38:10

What would you tell them? Um, you know, it really takes time to refill yourself. Refill, you know, like when we get a headache, we take the aspirin. When we when we thirsty, we drink water, you know, tend to that, tend to that emptiness, that that depleted place. Fill it with worship, fill it with quiet time. Yeah, because sometimes he will show up in this in that stillness, and he speaks louder than ever in that stillness. It could come in many different forms, it could be the way the wind broke blowing, it just brush across your face or something like just to let you know you're not by yourself, you know what I mean. Um, refill it with worship, laughter, um, get around people who genuinely care about you, and um and stuff and I must say this too, because I see people do this a lot. Stop using protecting my peace as a as a prescription. That's that's some of that is just avoidance, you know. Um take take time to just be still, even if it's just for a few minutes. Um let yourself sit in the moment, and you may find that it's a whole lot more strength there than in in a conversation with somebody else, or you know, or or you know venting and all that. Sometimes you just gotta be still and let your body reset itself. This these bodies are some very interesting things to have, like our brain is powerful. Yeah, get around good music, good food, yeah, you know, good sense of humor, just laugh. You do you know one time I was so down because I couldn't walk like I was used to walking, and I was sitting in that um physical therapist office, it was so hard. It was all it was always hard, and then one day it wasn't. I was in physical therapy for three years, and a lot of people didn't know. They didn't know that I was there five four or five days a week and putting my body through a whole lot of things just to get to where I am today. Um I sat there in that therapy and I just bust out laughing. I laughed and laughed until I cried. I laughed so much, everybody else started laughing. They didn't even know, they didn't even know why they were laughing. That's that joy. In that moment where I really realized because I used to look at my name like joy, that's a whole lot of pressure. But I realized how joy is is it's not optional, it's it's it's literally fuel, it's my fuel, it's a required fuel, yeah. And that's what keeps you moving, that's what keeps you going. So get around you know, folk who can kind of sow into that and and not add to the darkness, you know. Yeah, um, and really take the advice, really risk, because you know, we can give love and not receive it, yes. So receive the love. You don't have to necessarily trust them, trust God. Yes, you know what I mean, and he'll take out what isn't supposed to be there, he'll show you the way he will show he will show you, yes, he will just make sure you listen, yes, yes, yes, pay attention, absolutely, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 41:48

You know, you are someone who pours so much into others, you know, your family, your ministry, even your customers. I mean, that takes a lot too, you know, because you have customers, it does, and and the people who look up to you. How do you how do you refill your how do you refill you? How do you refill yourself so that you don't pour from an empty place?

SPEAKER_00 42:13

I be well now I didn't used to do this, but now I literally just be still. Um I turn it all off, everything. I turn me off, them off. Sometimes it's it's just you know, I put on like some type of instrumental, and I I love jazz. I absolutely love jazz. I will finding an um impromptu live music somewhere. Oh, it's a good day. It's a yes, it's a good day. I just sit there and take it all in, and I just be in that moment. I don't worry about A, B, C, and D anymore because um you have to be present during your refuel and your refuel. We'll sit somewhere and then still be thinking about dinner, about picking this up, dropping that off, canceling this, starting that, whatever it is. No, I I have been I have been becoming more intentional in my personal time, in my stillness, in my quiet time. I've been really, I stay focused there. Everything else, it could worry by itself.

SPEAKER_02 43:29

I know that's right. And I know this is definitely gonna help me when I'm working with the the journal, the journey, your healing journey um book. Um, for me, it would be your recommendation would be maybe, you know, just if I like my music, turn on my music, shut everything else out, turn my phones off, get rid of the internet, don't have any outside influence, spend my time how I do with me. And even if it's my time, I decide I want, you know, my gospel music. That's my favorite music. Um, and with God, just just for me, it's just taking the time for me, right? How do you think that's a good thing to do it once a week, a couple times a week? What would you recommend? Um, someone I know some of many of us work a lot and it's kind of hard to take that time, but it's a necessary thing that we make time for ourselves. So, how long of would you say, and how often would you think that would help refuel refuel myself so that I'm not born from an empty place as well?

SPEAKER_00 44:33

Um daily, daily, okay, okay. Yeah, because you know if you you know, you you you might not need it or know you need it until you start doing it, and you're like, oh, maybe I'm not okay, you know. Okay, oh maybe I maybe I um maybe this does bother me, and you you're giving yourself you're allowing yourself to kind of like detox in the sense. Yes. So if that's if that's 15 minutes sitting in your car, then that's that's what it is. Absolutely. If is um how about on your lunch break, if you got an hour, how about you spend half of that on you, not not just eating, it's more to filling these bodies than just food, you know what I'm saying? Like, why don't you just be quiet for a minute? Close your eyes. Literally, you can escape sitting anywhere, you can escape. So I would I would say daily. I wouldn't say now if you want to get more into you know, like adding a spa stuff to it, you know, then okay, maybe that's a weekly thing. But yeah, yeah. As far as tending to yourself, your mental wholeness, your mental health, that's that has to be daily. That's perfect.

SPEAKER_02 45:49

Yeah. Um, I I am learning to I am learning who Paulette is. It's it's taken time and some things I face I don't like too much, but I know that um it was important for me. And since in this time in my life, God has sort of isolated me um to focus on my purpose and him um that I learn who I am. Because I've always been that person that care and take care of everybody else, and you know, um that role of a mom and grandma has always been important to me. And my main role as a daughter and a wife was my top role I love. Yes, but I never really knew who I really was. I I'm still learning that, right? So I I as time goes on. So one thing I know about you is that you love affirmations, and you're you're in speaking life into yourself and others. Yeah. You share an affirmation or a declaration that carried you through a harsh season, you know, because we have so many, and um, you know, something that just for you, when you think about it or you speak to someone that's going through something, what's an affirmation, even if it's your own, like just what is it that you would speak into someone like me dealing with grief or dealing with um a sense of loss of self and and trying to um not allow the depression part of it to take us off our focus, you know, you know, and that it's so funny because I actually writing this journal, I realize just how much affirmations and declarations do mean to me.

SPEAKER_00 47:37

Um, because and I have declarations in there every single day. There's a declaration for us to say. Um, the one I said today, um, and it's actually right here on my computer. Uh it says, I am not behind, I am being prepared. Nothing I walked through was wasted, and nothing ahead of me is bigger than the grace on me, and that covers it all. Yes, that covers it. There's nothing left out of that, and you didn't really think about that. You you're not behind, you didn't waste any time, you haven't missed out on anything, you're actually in a in preparation for the next thing. So you didn't miss out on on nothing, and it's oh it's okay to not be okay, it's okay to have a moment, it's okay to have a day, you know. Just just come up out of there. That's that's the biggest part. Come up out of there, acknowledge it, give voice to it, move forward, and that's not that's not you're not cheating yourself in any way, shape, or form. You've you've actually, if you if you look back, you'll see, oh no, I dealt, I dealt with that. And in that way, you're not you're not wasting any time because you know, um, the Bible even tells us all things work together for our good, for the good of those who love him are and are called according to his purpose. So if God told me that all the things don't work out for me, why should I think anything different? And all the things means the ugly, the the the nasty, the the hurt, the the the the good, all of it, it's all included, all of them. What's left out of it? Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing at all, nothing.

SPEAKER_02 49:36

I love that, I love that. So yeah, that is powerful, and I thank you for that because um oh, I'm gonna be listening to this this uh podcast days to come because it's hit so many things for me that I need it to take in and uh just joy for the listeners who's out here grieving, whether rather from a loss of loved one or relationship, you know, some people go through grief with divorce, um, or loss of themselves, right? Um what word of hope would you leave them with today?

SPEAKER_00 50:19

Um you know, you can grieve all kinds of things, people, places, and things. I I grieved a career. Um, I've grieved my lost loved ones, and they were lost back-to-back grandma, then my uncle, dad. That's two major people. So if you're grieving, you know, hear me gently, please. Hear me gently. Um, your story did not end when that pain began. Um, loss is very real. Um, but it is not like it's not the final authority, you know. Uh you are still becoming. You are still becoming. Still, uh, you are still called. Um, according to his purpose. You are still called. Uh, you are still seen. So take take a moment and just breathe and stay so you can heal. Literally, you have to sit there for a minute. We so quick to get moving. I don't want to feel that no. You have to breathe, stay, so you can heal. Um, God isn't rushing you, He doesn't do that, He's a gentleman. Um, He is actually, it's when we're when we be still and do this to surrender. That's when He starts restoring. And one day you're gonna look up or look back and say, Wow, I didn't just survive, I was actually being rebuilt. Yes, and that's the truth. Yeah, yeah. So that's that's what I want. I guess that's the the key. Breathe and stay so you can heal. Don't run from it, sit in that. I know it hurt, I know, I know it hurt, I know it's lonely, I know people don't understand, people have good intentions, they they love you and all of that, but this is your thing to sit in so he can meet you there. Yes, you know, so he can heal you there. He he heals us in those valleys, he builds us up in those valleys. Um, there's no way around it. I mean, you can keep trying, but but you're gonna come back, trust me. So you might as you we have a um we have to be emotionally responsible more than we probably ever have been these days because you know life is forever life. Um, but we have to be more emotionally responsible and bring when you're responsible, you don't run from it, right? Absolutely, you don't the the accountability won't let you, and we are accountable, we have to be accountable to ourselves as well as everybody else. So sit, stay, and stay in it so you can be healed and and and know that God is not rushing you, He is a gentle man.

SPEAKER_02 53:31

Wow, that's thank you. Thank you for that. That was powerful. Now, before we get into closing and all of that, Joy, uh tell us a little bit about what parms pound got on that on the on the list. So, what are some of the things we could look for? Because you do cakes, cookies, cupcakes, right? Everything, right? Pies, you do it all. I do. I do it all.

SPEAKER_00 53:53

It started with one with with only one cake, which is palm uh pound cake, lemon pound cake. You know, that's that's forever gonna be on the menu. Um, it's a staple item. Um, we do wedding cakes, birthday cakes. I did it my first divorce cake. That was different. Um uh we do it for any events. I do we do burnout cakes. That's a popular thing right now. Um, people want to put all kinds of stuff in a cake. Uh, we do chocolate dip treats of all kinds, uh, strawberries, any berry, you name it. Uh, what else do we do? Cookies, yes, has joined. Um, we do gourmet cookies. Uh um, what else? Cheesecakes, everything is from scratch, mind you. Um, we're always adding new stuff. I know, right?

SPEAKER_02 54:55

And anyways, listeners and viewers out there, go to palms pound, go to the website. I'm telling you now, it's www.forms pound palmspound.com. It's the number four P-A-R-M S L B S dot com. Go check it out and see what's all on there because I'm gonna tell y'all, you're gonna be truly amazed at the talent. And and it's just not the presentation, but the belt in your hands and and and you know, in the mouth, and you're gonna and you don't worry about your weight at the time, okay? Don't no think about it because it's the bomb.com. Can I say that? So it's the number fourparmspounds.com, number four palmspound.com. It will be at the bottom. You I will flash it here, you guys will see it there as well. And then so uh as far as the closing joy, let's let's for our listeners who's grieving, whether for the loss of someone and friends, you gave us an you gave us a way of focusing on being able to move forward, and we thank you for that. And any last thoughts you have for us, anything you want to share with us about uh the book or Parms Pound or just maybe an ending prayer with our viewers?

SPEAKER_00 56:18

Okay, yeah, well you um well, you know, let me think.

SPEAKER_02 56:24

And let me and let me say everybody, usually uh on my videos alone, I always end with a prayer, and I want to share this today with my my niece, and because it's so important that no matter what we do and what message we push out there for all of you to listen and receive, for you to understand that we're just not here talking. We really allow our Heavenly Father to guide us through this because we're moving through a place and time in our lives where he's working and he's he's he's definitely um allow utilizing us, right? And I always tell him, God, just use me, allow me to be used by you in any kind of way. And so I give him the honor and the glory with this podcast, even giving it life, because I know that he wanted me to take my pain and turn this purpose into helping someone else with their pain, which is why every guest speaker that comes on here has been through life. I don't know any of us that ain't life in. So um, I just want to see what if we can allow Miss Parms Pounds to give us a prayer as we're going out, and then I will do the final closing of this evening. Any and just go for it, Miss Ms. Miss Parms.

SPEAKER_00 57:46

Well, you know, um something else for the listeners who uh is grieving, myself included. Um, you know, what you have lost mattered. What you're feeling is absolutely valid. Yes, and what feels broken is never beyond repair in God's eyes. It's never beyond repair. Um, God is close to the brokenhearted. Um, he's not distant at all. It might feel like it, but he's never distant. He said he'll never leave us nor forsake us. Healing doesn't mean forgetting, it means learning how to live again with hope this time, you know. Um, you may feel undone, but you definitely are not destroyed at all. Um, this is not the end of your story. I know that sounds cliche, but it's the truth, it's not the end of your story. You can't let it be the end of your story. And joy, I'm talking about real joy, the joy of the Lord. You absolutely will find it. You absolutely will. And it is it's it's searching for you as we speak, it's searching for you right now. So we just um submit to it and submit to his will. He he's he's already there, he's just waiting for us to show up. Um not fixed, not not perfect, not you know, maybe not even necessarily um completely perished or or you know, just toe up. He's he won't he won't all of that. He's calling, he's calling us home, which is just a closer relationship to him. And he he uses these things, he uses the loss, he uses the uncertainties to get our attention a lot of times. Yes, and um, so just allow him to use that, allow him to be everything it is you you need, you want, and some stuff you never even thought about. He um he knows our heart's desires, he's the only one that truly knows our heart's desires. We think we do, but we don't. So allow yourself to become someone new in this trying time. Because in this trying time is where you will find who you were always meant to be. So, yeah. So, Lord, Lord, we thank you, we thank you, God. We thank you for another opportunity to just say thank you again. We thank you for calling us, we thank you for being with us, we thank you for holding holding our hands and walking, not just holding our hands, but actually walking through these trying times with us. We thank you for being an answer, we thank you for making us answers to a problem. We thank you for filling us and refilling us, God. And uh give you all the glory and everything that we do and everything that we are and in every person that we come across. Allow them to see you in us, you shine bright, and you shine through in every situation that's in our uh in our speech, in our minds, and in our uh we thank you for our steps being ordered, Lord. We thank you for calling us according to your purpose, and we thank you for platforms like this to bring um a new voice um to spiritual intimacy, a new voice to emotional honesty, a new voice to what worth can look like now, what truth is, and what peace is. We thank you for always being a progressive God, always teaching us how to uh embrace the new. And we trust you and we believe you, and we will continue to march forward because we know that you are with us, and we we love you and we praise you in your name. Amen.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:59

Amen. Amen. Amen. That was beautiful. Oh, I opened up my eyes. I was in that one deep. Thank you, Jesus. Well, with that being said, everyone, thank you for listening today or watching. Uh, you know, life may bend you, but you're still here, you are still breathing, you are still growing, and that means you are unstoppable. Until next time, keep breathing, keep believing and never stop becoming. If anything you've heard in this podcast today touched you and you know it's meant for someone, share it with them. And if you're following me on YouTube, please make sure you subscribe and give me that thumbs up button. We appreciate you all. So until next time, until next week, keep breathing, keep believing. Bye for now. Have a good night. If you were empowered by today's episode of Unstoppable, please become a subscriber on our YouTube channel and also click the notification button. That way you are notified the next podcast drops. Also, please visit us on our website at www.unstoppable with drpaulescott.com. On our website, you will see upcoming guest speakers. Remember, you can also catch our audio form on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon, and all the other major audio platforms.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:33

Thank you for joining Unstoppable with Dr. Paul Escott. Until next time, stay blessed and stay prayed up on purpose for its mind.