Episode 26: The Cost of Avoidance - Just Get it Done

Avoiding hard conversations or difficult decisions might feel easier in the moment—but it always comes with a cost. In this episode, we unpack how avoidance creates more stress, damages relationships, and holds us back from growth. From leadership to marriage to parenting, we explore how facing things early builds strength, clarity, and trust. This is your reminder: what you avoid today will demand more from you tomorrow.

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:05

Welcome to the Become Unshaken Podcast, where we journey through the hard together. We're so glad you're here. Welcome back to the Become Unshaken Podcast. My name is Stephanie Rodriguez.

SPEAKER_00 0:17

And I am Michael Rodriguez.

SPEAKER_02 0:18

So today let's talk about something we all do, but don't always admit it. Avoidance. You and I have been talking about this for a little bit, but time to bring the listeners in, avoiding the hard conversation, avoiding the decision we know we need to make, avoiding the truth because it's uncomfortable. And in the moment, it feels easier. We know it does, even cleaner, just less risky. But here's the truth that we've been talking about. Avoidance doesn't remove the problem. It never does. It actually multiplies it. And the longer we wait, the heavier it gets. So today we're going to dive in. We're going to talk about why we avoid certain things, maybe their tasks, maybe their conversations. We want to talk about the real life impact of avoidance and even like what it causes in life, both personally and mentally, but also just around you, right? So what's the domino effect of avoidance? And then we want to get into how to avoid avoidance. I just, I just kind of came up with that one. That's great. How do you get past it? How do you show up differently for yourself and for others? We want to make sure that we arm you with the right things, the tools to be successful here, because avoidance is a very tricky and slippery slope. So let's let's get into it. So let's start with why avoidance is even an issue. Why do we avoid things? What's your what's your experience?

SPEAKER_00 1:39

You know, it obviously the things that we all avoid very, and you know, even within each of us, we can avoid the absolute minute, almost seemingly inconsequential thing, which does then you know progressively compound into a larger issue. And then you have some very significant, heavy, weighty uh things in life, whether it's you know, personal or it's professional or or something else in life. There are things that that simply don't feel as easy to discuss or as easy to tackle. And I believe at times it just inherently and and and within our human nature just feels easier to kind of throw it into the background, to ignore it, uh, to put it on the back burner, or so to speak, and pretend as if we're going to attack it soon here in the near future, right? And so we kind of say, I don't want to deal with that this very moment. I'll wait until tomorrow. Tomorrow will be better, I'll have more time. We start making excuses and have explanations or reasons as to why it makes more sense not to do it this very moment. And then that next time that you've kind of put in your mind as to when you're going to address it, well, suddenly now it doesn't feel as though this is the right time either. And so then we kind of kick the can down the road, and and sometimes before you know it, it's been a few days, it's been a few weeks. There may be something that you've avoided for months or even years, right? When you consider, you know, how many guys do I know that, well, yeah, they'll run to the doctor for a quick physical.

SPEAKER_01 3:20

Oh, sure.

SPEAKER_00 3:21

And it's been two years. Why? Because they don't want to get the results and they don't want to deal with the reality, and they don't want a change of lifestyle, right? And so, so, you know, again, the things that we avoid vary. But I do believe that in the moment, it doesn't feel comfortable, doesn't feel as though it's something that that will be easily taken care of, and as a result, we kind of push it. And before we know it, we get into the routine of pushing this one thing, and and then maybe, well, two things, and then this doesn't feel real comfortable either, and we begin to push that. And and so it really does kind of become this ever-growing snowball of avoidance, and you know, based on what we've been talking about and what we've researched and found, you know, the cost of that can be rather significant over a long period of time, and and you do create a habit of avoidance, which can and is a problem.

SPEAKER_02 4:17

Yeah. So I think I think of a couple things. There, you could be in the camp where, you know, we talk about the journey of life and the hard that comes with the journey of life every single time we we we put these headphones on and and we we talk with our we with our listeners. But I think what's interesting about this conversation is there's there's m there's many reasons why we avoid. So, like you said, right, there's there's definitely a compounding effect. It's it there's a snowball effect to avoidance. But some people avoid because they just don't want to deal with the the really big scary thing in front of them, right? Because that hard thing, just I don't know, we don't even have the time and space for. We don't, we don't want to face that thing. It's too big. And then others, they almost avoid the smaller things, the little things that that will steal their joy. And and so there's multiple reasons why we avoid. I think it's about reflecting on your own personal experience with avoidance and figuring out what is it for you. Are you avoiding the big thing because you don't want to deal with the reality? But here's the here's the the real the real tip is that of avoiding it doesn't take it away. It just makes it worse when you finally have to go and face it because it's probably gotten bigger. So are you that person or are you the person that says, well, I'm not gonna deal with all this other stuff because I just I'm enjoying everything right now. And I don't want my joy to be taken. I don't want my purpose to be kind of impacted. And I just want to focus on the right here and the right now and everything that's in front of me and everything else I'm just gonna ignore. So it could be one or the other, but that's what we're gonna dive into today is how neither of them are kind of healthy places to be. Why do we need to kind of show up differently no matter what part of the story is ours?

SPEAKER_00 6:06

Yeah, let's do it.

SPEAKER_02 6:07

Okay. So let's let's actually talk about some things that we've uncovered. There is some research from the American Psychological Association showing that avoidance coping actually increases anxiety over time rather than reducing it. And I wanted to look into this further because avoidance coping, I think, is defined in multiple ways. There's several examples that were shared. And one of them I actually identified with, which is procrastination. So putting off tasks, right, that cause stress. That's one example of avoidance coping, distraction or escapism. So if you use TV or social media or gaming to avoid thinking about problems, you might even turn to substance abuse. There's social withdrawal as a coping mechanism where we really avoid social situations or specific individuals, denial. So that could be another way that you particularly cope. And then mental disengagement. I've seen this plenty of times, daydreaming, suppressing thoughts, not really sharing how you feel, right? These are all examples of avoidance coping. And so again, what the research will show us is that this does increase anxiety over time. This does not solve our problems. So, how do we get past it? And as I was reflecting on procrastination in particular, I can recall that it showed up for me probably as early as, you know, elementary school when I had a test that I was facing and just avoiding studying for that test. I didn't want to face that reality that there was something big and heavy coming my way. And now I would say for me, I avoid or procrastinate when there are, you know, we'll say chores or things that I don't find joy in, things that I have to do. But as I really reflected on this as we were preparing for this conversation, it doesn't serve me in any way to push those things off. Because then when I finally have to do them because there's no other choice, it leaves me frustrated. So I find it much easier to do things kind of ongoing, consistently, versus avoiding them versus leaving them right to the second or third time that they pop in my mind. That seems to me a much better, healthier way to deal with things that you don't really want to deal with in that moment.

SPEAKER_00 8:23

Yeah, when you have the example of things as mundane as chores, right? I mean, listen, we all have chores, we all have things we got to get done around the house and in our life. Man, sometimes it feels so inconsequential, and it really you're done with your entire day. I mean, I think about every time we finish dinner and the kiddos kind of do their chores, and then we look at each other and it's like, we've just worked all day, we've parented our tails off, and now we've got to clean the kitchen after the meal that we just cooked and prepped for the kiddos. Yeah, man, you don't you don't always feel like doing it. Here's the problem. What I have learned and what I learned a long time ago was I don't want to sit down at the end of the night at 9 30 and then still have that chore lingering over my head. Yeah, right. And what is the answer? The answer is do it now in the moment, or do it later when what? We are more tired, we have less patience, we are less prepared, and the time in between that kind of procrastination or of that procrastination really just makes it seem infinitely worse than it does typically in the moment. And I think when you think about a subject like avoidance, really when you think about any subject, man, I am a firm believer in attack it now, just get it done, and move on. You know, you talked about when you were a kiddo and the things that you would avoid. I I learned in college rather quickly that if I had something lingering over my head, man, I did not handle that well at all. I constantly was running it through my mind, running it over the scenarios. I gotta get it done. When am I gonna get it done? I gotta make sure I get it done. And then something else pops up, and then I gotta balance, and now something else pops up. And I would always look back and go, you know, if I would have just done this the day of all of these extra things that popped up wouldn't be so big either, right? There wouldn't be that compounding effect of, well, I've procrastinated and held off on this, and now all of a sudden life hits and life hits again, or work hits, or school hits, or whatever it is. Now all of a sudden that very little thing on my list has become a huge thing that now I also need to get done on top of what? The even larger things that have popped up in life, school, work. And and so really all I did was make my difficulty larger. And so, you know, again, early on in college, I really learned that that there were two ways that I was gonna be able to get this done. And quite honestly, my, you know, for my mental health and just getting things off my mind, I learned you gotta just get it done.

SPEAKER_02 11:20

So I have an an interesting twist on this for, but I'm gonna share something and then I want to dive into that because something you just said really resonated, which is, you know, this this idea that it doesn't go away. So we do know that unresolved stressors, they remain cognitively open loops. That's what research would suggest. So it does increase the mental load and distraction because there's there's nothing that closes. It's continuously open. So you have all these open doors in your mind that never get shut, they never close, they they're never complete. And then there's just this kind of continuation of that with the more that you see in front of you that doesn't get done. So so you're right, there's there's that feeling you have, and then there's the science behind it that supports that that reality. So we do ourselves no favors with a million open doors in our own brains.

SPEAKER_00 12:08

So interesting, too, actually, when you when you read that bit of science, something that I have done for as long as I can remember is make lists. I will have a list of everything that needs to get done. Now, it used to be pen and paper on a notepad, and I would have daily and weekly things that I needed to get done. And it was almost like therapy to cross it off of that list, right? And and now it's been upgraded to, you know, the Google calendar in my cell phone, right? But you know, we've discussed it. I have everything that needs to get done in a day down one so that I'm not wondering if I'm forgetting something or cons you know, what else was it that I needed to do? But that I've got it listed, I've got it organized, and when it's done, it's gone.

SPEAKER_02 12:58

And now have you recognized a pattern where there's certain things that that continue to not get crossed off the list and carry over to the next day and the next day and the next day? Is there a a pattern there?

SPEAKER_00 13:10

Boy, that's a good question. I don't I don't know that there is. I don't think there's anything that that is repetitive. I I will say that I have, I don't know, maybe maybe it's just my mental makeup. I do not want to deal with unfinished items on a list. I just don't. I I want it done. Yeah. I will say, I will say that there was a time in my rapid kind of expansion of the business that for the first time in a long time, I really began to avoid some difficult situations. And really what came of it was, you know, again, I I grew my business from three to twelve and then twelve to twenty five over two years. So that's incredible growth. And while I believed that we had the groundwork and the foundation for that kind of expansion, the reality was, and the reality is, when you grow at that level, you can only prepare so much. But when it comes time to do the work, and especially in such a labor-intensive industry like QSR, like restaurants, you don't know until you gotta show up. And unfortunately, a lot of the upper management that we had trained and prepped for this opportunity simply could not show up, simply could not handle the autonomy, they could not handle the freedom granted and necessary to oversee a handful of restaurants in a particular area. And so within 60 days, it was rather clear that the majority of my upper management could not handle the responsibility appropriately. And so I knew this, whether it was time theft of people saying that they were going to go to work and they actually weren't there, or they always disappeared over lunch, right? They ran they ran their bank errands from 1130 to 1.30 when we need them the most. Not training, not I mean, just the list was endless, right? And and I had, I believe, over 25 restaurants. I think we had seven general managers. Within 60 days, I knew at least three of them had to go. I could not pull the trigger. Couldn't do it. Why? I was afraid. I was afraid of what that would mean if I'm gonna cut three GMs over 15 locations. Well, that means that now I have to do that. And I can't afford to spend my week after week after week running five stores, let alone 15, and then also oversee the remaining 10. I mean, it just it did not equate. It did not make sense. And for the first time in a long time, I was concerned. Previously, when I had three and even seven restaurants, I recall staff who thought Michael needs us, and so we're not going to do that good of a job. I let three out of six people go, lost half the crew in one location and wasn't closed one extra minute. Right. And that was because I could step in, we had the people, that was fine. At such rapid growth and the expanse of my portfolio now went three hours in every direction. I felt and believed that I could not make the same decision.

unknown 16:23

Right.

SPEAKER_02 16:24

So you avoided it.

SPEAKER_00 16:25

It was better to keep them doing a terrible job because it made me feel as though I still had some security, because at the end of the day, even though I know that they're not doing a great job 35 hours a week, they were kind of around, and in an emergency, I could send them somewhere and they would do that one thing, right? And so what was the result? The result of that fear, and the result of the avoidance of firing people that needed to be fired was I mean, I I can't even tell you how many people we probably lost.

SPEAKER_01 16:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:58

Right? GM's not here. I can't rely on them. I was super busy. I mean, I can't answer simple questions all day long for 200 employees. How many good people did that cost me? How many weeks or months of stability, right, did that cost me? How how much farther down the road did I push stability because I was avoiding a hard decision of letting go a third of my upper management in the first 60 days? Right. Interesting. And and so that the cost, I don't know that I'll ever get that answer, but eventually it just got so bad. And I I then believed that there was more stability. But the reality is it probably wasn't much more stable than it was, you know, at 60 days when I avoided getting rid of everybody. And so, you know, I I let them go, and what happened? Stability came.

SPEAKER_01 17:53

Right?

SPEAKER_00 17:54

I had the right people in the right places. Now I had to answer my phone more, and I had to be a bit more present, and I had to oversee more than I wanted to. I had to do the GM jobs for these territories over a period of time. But guess what? People were happier, they showed up more often, and we got the right people in the right places.

SPEAKER_02 18:12

Yeah. So there was a greater cost to avoiding the problem because it created a completely different one.

SPEAKER_00 18:18

And it, you know, not only did it not allow for progress, it may have caused regression. Sure. And so Interesting. Yeah. And so, you know, on that kind of a scale, what did that cost me? I mean, tens of thousands? Plus their salaries, right? Wasted salaries, plus the turnover, plus the constant need to hire people or their friends who were also terrible. I mean, it just the list goes on and on. And I'll tell you this too. It's so ironic because when I then talk to other franchisees or when I do small business consulting and coaching, anytime that one of my clients gives me one of these scenarios, what'd I say? Cut the cancer. Cut it out immediately. It's what's best. Now I'm the patient. Boy, I sure held on to it for a minute. Right? I did not take my own advice. Because when you're in it, boy, it feels rather heavy and it gets a little cloudy. When it's someone else, well, I have total clarity and it makes total sense. And just do that. That is what is best. And so, you know, again, what's it come down to? Personal fear, right, and uncertainty. But the cost, the cost of avoidance is huge.

SPEAKER_02 19:34

It's never worth it when you really think about the impact. So you you conveyed not only, in my opinion, business impact, but the mental load you took on that others took on, probably having to work with those individuals who weren't showing up the right way as leaders. So, so it's actually, you know, quite significant the impact in in so many different aspects of life. And it's never, it's never quite worth it. So just reflecting on, you know, how we approach even marriage and and avoidance as we think about situations that we we deal with as a as a married couple, we we take it on as a very intentional way of being to not avoid hard conversations. Right. So, and it always works out, right? It's never fun in the moment to talk about disagreement. But when we do, it's usually because we can say, honestly, we already know each other's intent is good. And it's better to talk about anything that might be kind of a misalignment or or misunderstanding, because then you can just handle it and move forward. Avoidance only makes it feel worse, heavier for longer and benefits no one, right? You don't feel good, the other person doesn't feel good. The environment in the home doesn't feel good. So it's just something we learned early on that I will say is probably one of the greatest and best, most significant lessons in, you know, not allowing things to just kind of sit and and become bigger.

SPEAKER_00 21:02

Well, and in that particular scenario, how many times do you hear a husband and wife have some disagreement, could be over something minor, could be something large, and they avoid that conversation so long that they don't actually remember what started it.

SPEAKER_02 21:20

Sure.

SPEAKER_00 21:20

Right? And then and then you just realize we've just avoided it for so long that now we've built up this wall, we've built up this sense of I don't want to say agitation, but but there is some barrier now, and man, we don't even exactly remember when or how it happened, and here we are.

SPEAKER_01 21:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:41

And so, you know, my gosh, what a phenomenal place to start. And I don't know that there is a more important place to seek to not avoid than having difficult conversations with your spouse. You you said it, one of us will. Say or do something that is either misunderstood or rather flippant and not really consciously making a comment in the moment. And if one of us is displeased with how that went, I mean, we're like two minutes after the kids go to bed. Hey, so let's talk about what happened, right?

SPEAKER_02 22:18

What's different though is that we know each other's intent. And I think that's that's kind of step one is, you know, i especially from a a personal relationship standpoint, if you can trust that the other person's intent isn't malicious, right? Isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't bad in in any way, but still something happened, it kind of gives you the space to say, okay, well, then I have enough respect for myself to say, I don't feel great about something. So let's talk through it. I think that's that's an important distinction for personal relationships. When I reflect on work, it's a little bit different because I do think that what we tend to do is maybe avoid tough conversations at work because we're not quite sure how the other person will respond. We're not sure of the impact of that conversation, you know, from a career perspective. But what happens is you start showing up differently. Whether you recognize it or not, right? You're you might be a little bit more disengaged or withdrawn. And people tend to notice, right? And so that that is, I think, kind of a flag to say, okay, this is this is not going to benefit me in the long run. How do I handle this situation? Who can I go to, right? To be able to say, I have an issue, I have a problem, and I need it, I need it addressed. Because otherwise you end up showing up in a way that isn't going to be in your best interest. So just different ways to think about things. And if if this prompts you to reflect on personal relationships, how you show up in in the relationships that you have and in the environments that you're, that you're a part of, you know, we encourage you to do that. We encourage you to reflect and think about where you might be avoiding something tough or something hard and what impact it's having on you. And is it worth it? Right. Is it is it really benefiting you and the people around you?

SPEAKER_00 24:02

Yeah. So, you know, and we we talk a lot about remaining active, right? Not being passive, whether it's within patience, but also in perseverance. And so if I can actually just read a little snippet out of the book, it's it's a sub chapter within the fourth value, fall, rise, repeat, and it's just get it done. That is literally what it's called. Just get it done. Hope and joy are not passive emotions. They are cultivated through action. You may feel weak or unsure, but every time you lean into a difficult situation, you build an inner reservoir of strength. It's in the moment you schedule that hard conversation or swallow your pride to make amends that you experience real empowerment. Showing up doesn't mean you'll get it perfect. You might stumble over your words, feel awkward, or even meet resistance. But being unshaken tells us that strength is perfected in weakness. Each courageous step, no matter how small, reinforces your resilience and keeps you anchored in hope. Life won't stop presenting challenges. Hormonal teenagers will test your patience. Preach. Colleagues will misunderstand you and friends will hurt your feelings. But remember, you are stronger than the discomfort. Keep showing up. Just do it. The joy is in the journey, not in the perfection of outcomes. We also need to release the belief that there's a difficult situation and I've got to solve it. Or the answer has to be perfect. Or I've had this miscommunication with my partner, with someone at work. And until I have a resolution, I got nothing to say.

SPEAKER_02 25:49

Well, it might not get fixed, right? Avoiding it definitely doesn't fix or solve anything. But not avoiding it means that you're giving so much power to it that you allow it to distract you, almost to control you in a way, because it doesn't go away. We we mentioned earlier how it just remains an open loop. So where are you giving power in your life? Is it in that hard thing that you don't want to face because you might not be able to fix it? Or is it in yourself, giving yourself a chance to face something hard and get past it, even if it doesn't mean a resolution that solves it? It just means acceptance that it's something that you need to move away from.

SPEAKER_00 26:33

That's right. And avoidance is a choice. Right. So so the other thing is, you know, you just talked about some of the science behind it. When we are avoiding things, we are actually making life more difficult on ourselves. We don't need to help life get more difficult. It is hard enough. And so we teach resilience just having the tough conversation, just getting up off the couch and knocking the dishes out helps build your resilience. Because again, what else do we talk about all the time? I'm so big into classic conditioning of the mind. Just like anything else. Fall, rise, repeat. Fall, rise, repeat, fall, rise, repeat. The more you do it, the easier it becomes. Just get it done. The more that you do it, the easier it becomes. So so what is the routine now? The routine is after dinner, we get up, we knock the dishes out, we wipe down the counters, we're ready to go. It's done. It's over with. Move on. Six minutes, eight minutes, depending on whatever it is, and depending on whether or not we're both doing it. Just get it done.

SPEAKER_02 27:49

Yeah. So I think those words, I think, absolutely encourage confidence in in individuals to to show up differently if if they can identify those those opportunities to do so. But I do want to give everyone, you know, four things that they could be doing today, just starting today, to move from avoidance to active coping, right? Not passive, you know, acceptance of things and kind of distraction and and and avoidance from a perspective of, I'll get to it later. How do you actively cope with what's in front of you? So first, first is identify triggers, right? Recognize what situations or feelings you're trying to avoid. So identifying what's going on, what you're feeling, what you're facing is critically important. So if you haven't sat in silence to figure out what that might be, what might be kind of over your head, kind of loomy, you haven't been able to pinpoint it, but you're there's just some feeling. Sit in silence and identify that trigger. The second thing would be to break down tasks. Okay. So take small, manageable steps to address the issue directly rather than facing the entire problem at once. To your point, it's not about perfection. It might not even be about solving something completely, but what can you do to take small steps in the right direction? The third thing would be to practice self-compassion. So we talk about this often, giving yourself grace. Acknowledge that the fear is valid. If you don't acknowledge that you have some fear, some reason why you're avoiding the issue, you're not really going to be able to face it with the power and the confidence that you need to. So acknowledge that that fear is valid. Give yourself grace in that moment and decide to push forward anyway, right? Just get it done. Fall, rise, repeat. We we say it often. And lastly, for the fourth, you know, mechanism for coping, we we would be remiss if we didn't suggest that, you know, we we seek therapy, we seek professional help when and where needed. First, identifying, you know, your triggers and giving yourself grace and and thinking about what you can do or why you might be avoiding something, if it feels bigger than something that you can solve for alone. We really encourage you to seek that help. So I I want to give a watch out. And I mentioned I wanted to kind of give a twist on something. So, so watch out is this. I I've been so focused on avoiding avoidance, on moving past this habit of procrastination that I've almost gone the the next kind of phase of things to almost multitask, which we know is an impossible thing to do well, to the point where nothing's on the list at the end of the day. I give you this watch out because our tendency, if we want to correct something, is to just jump in and try to do it as perfectly as we can. What that has resulted in, though, that I've noticed for myself, is that in trying to multitask, I'm not giving each task or each person or each relationship or each, each thing that's that's right in front of me in that moment my full attention. And that's a risk, right? So if you, for example, are having a conversation with someone and your phone is out because you're also trying to finish that email or schedule that appointment or finish that Amazon shopping list that you you've you've had on your, you know, on your internet browser forever, you're not doing yourself or that that conversation the justice and the service that it deserves. So think about that. Think about whether or not you are multitasking to to kind of be on top of everything and to to cross everything off that list, to not be in a place where you're thinking that you're in that place of avoidance. Think about whether or not that could be your reality because that is a huge watch out. It will take you down to a place where, yeah, you have nothing on your list, but at what cost, right? What did you sacrifice to try to get there? So give each thing that's in front of you the proper space that it deserves, especially relationships, especially the conversations, especially those meaningful moments related to your purpose, put everything else away. Get to it, plan for it. And that's what I have found better serves me. Rather than try to do everything at once, plan for when I'm gonna do things so they get done. And I already feel like even before they're done, I know they'll I know that I'll get there.

SPEAKER_00 32:13

Yeah. And that's also because uh, you know, what else you're you're encouraging everyone to do is to anchor to your purpose, right? And and so we don't want to get everything done at the cost of our purpose or at the cost of the things that bring us joy or the cost of the things that fill our cup. And why is that important? Because the key to having resilience and building that muscle of resilience is the fuel and energy of that purpose. And so with anything, with any task, with any with anything that you're trying to do to change and better your life, we really encourage it not to come at the cost of your purpose. Again, that purpose, one, is what gets us out of bed every single day, but that purpose is also in time with that purpose and being filled by that purpose is what gives us the capacity in the difficult situations, in the situations we may be trying to avoid, to actually overcome them, to actually take them on. And so, so that is absolutely great advice. I also want to challenge anybody listening. I want you to really and truly write a list of what it is that you have been avoiding for much too long. What's much too long? Everyone, it'll be different in a day, an hour, a year. Begin to work towards it. Begin to make progress. Just give yourself that strength and that peace and honestly that trust to get through that conversation or to get through that event, to get through those things. Because peace and joy is on the other side of that. And so, you know, habitual avoidance style or type of person, right? Where you just, uh, I really don't want to get into anything right now, and I need to be up against the clock. Start small. Make sure the dishes are done every day. Just start there. Begin to build momentum. Stephanie talked about it. Don't jump headfirst into taking on everything. You've been holding off on 14 different conversations and seven projects and three books that you've always wanted to read. Don't do them all this week. Don't start there. Start with one. It's all about momentum, right? When we talk about fall riser, we repeat, when we talk about perseverance, it is about building positive momentum in the direction that you want to go. But I want to challenge you. I do believe that avoidance makes things so much bigger and weightier and heavier than they are and then they need to be. And so I really want to challenge you. Start small if there's a lot on your plate, and if there is some huge conversation or thing that has happened that you've just been kicking down the road forever. Shoot a text, send the email, set up time, have that important conversation in person, live, face to face, not through writing, and just get it done.

SPEAKER_02 35:36

Yeah. I can speak from experience. Just recently, I did that very thing, had a conversation I've been meaning to have, but have been putting off. And I'll tell you the outcome, not perfect, not perfect, but I feel so much better. The closure is there because in having that conversation, I know how I felt in the moment, I know how they felt in the moment, and it's out in the open. It just being out in the open, not in our heads, is just the perfect outcome for us. And I think that that avoiding it is more of a distraction than anything else. Everything we've we've said is is 100% true. It's found in science, but it's also our lived experience and the experience of many people we talk to every day. So here's the reality: the conversation you're avoiding, the decision you're putting off, it's not going away. But the moment you face it, you do take your power back. So don't wait until it's bigger. Don't wait until it's harder. Face it early, grow through it and keep moving forward. That's how you become unshaken. And I love that Michael brought the book into the conversation today and read from it, referenced it, because his book speaks to the hard in life so beautifully and with so many real examples that are lived experience that you might find a lot of relevance in it and a lot of great learnings as you read through his story. So I encourage you to buy his book today. If you haven't already bought a copy, please do on Amazon at Target at Barnes Noble.

SPEAKER_00 37:11

Online.

SPEAKER_02 37:11

You can find it online, absolutely. You can also visit us on our website or engage with us on social. We encourage you to do that and keep the conversation going. Please do download this episode and many others. If you found it helpful for yourself, you think it'll be helpful for others, we encourage you to share it. We love to engage with you. Please reach out anytime. Thank you so much for spending time with us today.

SPEAKER_00 37:35

Everyone have a great week.

SPEAKER_02 37:37

We're so glad you joined us today. If you found inspiration through today's episode, share it with a friend and make sure to follow so you don't miss what's ahead. Until next time, choose joy, regardless, in whatever comes your way. See you next week.