Episode 29: Why So Many People Feel Lost Right Now

 Why do so many people feel disconnected, uncertain, or stuck right now — even when life looks successful on the outside? Stephanie and Michael unpack identity, purpose, transition seasons, and the pressure to constantly have life figured out. This conversation explores what it means to rediscover yourself when life changes, roles shift, or the path forward feels unclear.

Mixed & Edited by Next Day Podcast

info@nextdaypodcast.com

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:05

Welcome to the Become Unshaken podcast, where we journey through the hard together. We're so glad you're here. Welcome back to Become Unshaken. My name is Stephanie Rodriguez.

SPEAKER_02 0:17

And I am Michael Rodriguez.

SPEAKER_00 0:18

And today's conversation feels deeply personal because honestly, I think a lot of people are quietly asking themselves the same question right now. Who even am I anymore? And maybe that sounds dramatic, but I don't think it is. So many people are carrying responsibilities, routines, careers, parenting, obligations, pressure. And somewhere along the way, they stopped feeling connected to themselves. We're seeing it everywhere. People questioning their careers, their purpose, their relationships, wondering if they're fulfilled, wondering if they missed something, wondering why success sometimes still feels empty. And honestly, it makes sense. We're living in a time where people are constantly exposed to everyone else's success, milestones, lifestyles, opinions, achievements, everything online. And research shows that comparison culture has dramatically impacted people's confidence, self-worth, and life satisfaction. People are asking themselves, am I behind? Am I doing enough? Why doesn't success feel the way I thought it would? And I think many people are exhausted from trying to keep up with the versions of life they were never, never actually called to live. I think part of the challenge is that the world teaches us to build identities around titles, accomplishments, productivity, external validation. But eventually life changes. Roles change, seasons change, kids grow up. We were just talking about this. Careers evolve. I know mine recently has. Plans fail. And suddenly you're forced to ask yourself, what's left underneath all of it? So today we want to have a real conversation about feeling lost and why maybe being lost isn't actually failure. Maybe sometimes it's the beginning of becoming who you were actually meant to be, part of the journey. So we're gonna dive in. Are you ready? Yes, I am. Let's go. Let's get into it. We've been talking about this topic quite a bit offline. And for those of you that are unaware of our process, we we like to pick some topics that we think would be relevant to conversations being had today and think about how we would approach them, right? What what guidance would we give? What's our own experience related to some of these topics? And that's what we're going to talk about here. So one study that we actually found says that people who report strong meaning and purpose in life tend to experience lower anxiety, greater resilience, stronger relationships, and even better long-term health outcomes. So purpose isn't just inspirational language, it actually impacts how people experience life. So, Michael, do you think people are more disconnected from purpose right now than they used to be?

SPEAKER_02 2:50

You know, before answering that, I think I want to just touch ever so slightly, and I know we'll get into this in a second, but why do I feel like that data is so accurate and is correct? Is because when we anchor to our purpose, everything else becomes details. And there are huge details in our lives, right? My purpose is being a father. If I wake up every day knowing that my number one thing for my life and for my day is to be a father, yeah, the stresses of work, the stresses of whatever, my knee pain or whatever happens there as I age, all of those things, while important and while they matter, and while they affect the day and the week and my life. If I'm staying focused on that purpose and living for and anchoring to that purpose, everything else has just a little less weight to its importance, right? And so, of course, I would almost agree then with the question have we lost perspective or or are we not quite living for our purpose? I think when we talk about purpose with other people, we come up with two responses. We say, What's your purpose? They either can't give you a straight answer, right? Like, well, you know, it's kind of like this, or when I think about this, or sometimes, or lately it's been, or it's my purpose is my family, my job, my health, my wealth, my vacations, my kids' schooling, their activity. I mean, then they have 37 purposes. So many. And when you don't know what your one purpose is, or you feel or are telling yourself that you have 19 purposes, all of equal value and weight, I don't think that you're feeling very anchored to anything. And as a result, I think we find ourselves in this lost place, this place of uncertainty, this place where we feel as though we aren't actually living for a purpose or we aren't achieving everything we want around our purpose because we have so many. And so, you know, to me, this data reads true just given the conversations we've had over the last six to 10 months with people and just outright look at them in the eye and say, What's your purpose? We feel pretty important. We we feel as the purpose is rather important. It's the anchor, right? It's the fuel behind your capacity to deal with anything and everything this world throws at you. What's yours?

SPEAKER_00 5:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:36

No answer or everything, very tough to live life and navigate with that as your kind of ground floor and foundation.

SPEAKER_00 5:46

Yeah. So really question number one is do you know it? And then question number two is are you connected to it? Do you consistently re-anchor to it? Because we were talking about this world of distraction, right? That there is this constant distraction. So even you or or or myself, we're we're anchored to our purpose. But how often do we just get on social media for a moment or have a conversation with someone or get this email, right? Blast from work or from you know, something going on personally. And then all of a sudden it's that becomes this priority. That's that becomes this really important thing that can somehow take us off that path that we were so closely anchored to and so focused on. And all of a sudden it's a little bit more distant and a little more disconnected from where we were. And it's amazing how fast it happens. So you can feel lost if you don't know your purpose and you're being hit from many different directions with many different things that are calling your attention. It is really easy to lose focus.

SPEAKER_02 6:44

Undoubtedly. And again, we're not saying that there aren't incredibly important things throughout our day and throughout our life that demand our attention. Listen, this is the real deal, right? I mean, life is busy and we have many obligations, and there are many things in our lives that that really and truly can't be dropped. But again, the point is when we talk about fulfillment and when we talk about direction and when we talk about contentment and and joy, it comes down to knowing your true purpose, not the purpose that society would tell us to have, or that our boss wants us to have, or that our parents told us to have when we were five or twelve or eighteen, or our professors or our friends. You know, we talk so much about silence and taking that time. And it's twofold, right? One is you take that silence to understand your purpose. So for all of those folks who aren't sure what their purpose is or truly just at this moment are telling themselves, well, you guys will get it. I've got seven purposes. There are seven things in my life that absolutely must be, you know, loved and tendered and tended after and cared about and you know done. The rebuttal is please take time and silence and confirm those things. That if you took the other six, is that one going to be enough to get you out of bed? Is that one gonna be what it takes to fuel? Because here's the reality. If we are chasing seven purposes, I don't care who you are, and you could be the most awesome, capable, competent person in the world. We cannot chase seven things of equal value, pour into them the way that we should, and be filled by them. And so, you know, we we talk about, and and you talk about distraction and disconnection. It's incredible that we can have so many connection points and we can be connected, quote unquote, to so many people now with this little device called a smartphone. And I can follow 78 billion strangers who I've never met, don't know their middle name or last name, or all I know is their handle, and they don't know me, and I can quote unquote see into their life, most likely in a mansion somewhere on a yacht in the you know, Caribbean, because that's the lives that that everyone lives, and yet we feel so disconnected. Well, why? Yeah, you know, we we we've mentioned it before, I've said it, and it you know, it's gotten a little controversial when I say the enemy of the world is silence. And what I mean by that is so much in our society is made to distract. And you know, we just touched on it smartphones and you know, constant access to emails and social media and algorithms. I mean, I've removed most social media off my phone. And so what pings? ESPN app, right?

SPEAKER_00 10:10

14 times on my phone too, somehow. I don't know why that's happening.

SPEAKER_02 10:14

I added it to your phone, and so I get all my cubs and bears updates. Exactly. I love you, but but right, and so our phones are made to ding if we don't touch it enough.

SPEAKER_00 10:26

Yeah, pay attention to me. I'm over here.

SPEAKER_02 10:28

This is what's important, yeah. And guess what? Listen again, I work from my phone as well, I am constantly open and on 362 days a year. I get having to do it, but the reality is that even I, at 362 days a year, 15 hours a day, do not need to be distracted all the time. And so I do think, you know, we look at our lives, and the reality is our culture has changed. We live through social media, the majority of people. And the result is our expectation is our real lives need to match social media lives. We're connected to anyone and everyone, and yet not really connected. And, you know, I I think that there's a lot of that in general. I think that historically that's probably a reality. Now, you know, 70 years ago, everyone knew their neighbors and all of that stuff, and there was community living and all of those things. And we have gotten away from that for sure. And I think I think COVID pushed us, you know, another 20 years down the road, just at a much more rapid pace, in my opinion, and my personal experience. But we are human creatures, we are seeking human connection, and a lot of what we see, and a lot of what is thrown in our faces through television and our smartphones and social media leads us to confusion, to comparison, yeah, to distraction, and in my opinion, to disappointment. And and you see that, and I think we've got some data, right? But there's an increase in depression, anxiety, terms that you just were talking to me about a moment ago that I know we're gonna bring up. We have to do the individual work to protect ourselves from this feeling of disconnection and being lost, and it starts in silence and the fuel for resilience is purpose. And so we've got to know what our purpose is.

SPEAKER_00 12:45

Yeah. And I I think silence not only helps you find your purpose and re-anchor to it, but that forced, you know, quiet time, that forced focus time to ask yourself the necessary questions is essential to the process because you might actually know your purpose rather clearly, but almost demand the focus time to just remove the distractions that seem to be constantly hitting you and maybe confusing you because that's you could be perfectly aligned to where you're going. A great example would be what I'm experiencing recently. So, so the the focus that I have and that I needed was less social media exposure because I was constantly getting hit with, you know, you need this new, you know, summer wardrobe capsule, you need this new meal plan for your family, you need this new calendar plan for your family. How on earth will you stay organized if you don't have this essential item in your home? Right. This, this constant, you know, you said comparison culture and this constant need to say, am I doing everything right? Am I enough? Am I keeping up with, you know, where where people are going, where society is going, with innovation and technology and all of these things. And all of a sudden, you know, I'm online buying these things for what purpose? I could very well have just gone to the park with the kids and come home and made whatever dinner was on my mind and be just fine. And and so it's this, it's this constant, just I don't know, exposure to possibilities and what ifs and and what could life be like if that can be just relentless. And and I bring it up because, you know, we talk about comparison culture, we talk about distraction, and quite frankly, you might not be in a season of change. Society just might be demanding you to change and you have to say no. Now, I I give you that to say that could be a reality because it was my reality. Now, I'll I'll call upon something that you said because I'd love for you to expand upon it, which is how you even define your purpose. If you have seven things in front of you that you would say are your purpose, how do you identify the one, maybe two things that are most, most important to you and really are your anchors? Because things can be important, things can be meaningful, things can give you a lot of satisfaction in completing them, like tasks at work or or serving your community, but that doesn't mean that they are your purpose. They are the reason you get up and the reason why you keep going and the reason why you continue to fight through the hard. So can you just expand on that, that that search for your purpose? How does it start and and how do you know you've got you've gotten there?

SPEAKER_02 15:36

Yeah. So, you know, if you've read the book uh or heard some of our other podcasts, 2020 COVID for me was transformational, right? I mean, personally, my then wife and I decided we were going to separate and get a divorce, and then the world shut down. And what happened in those days and months and that year plus was forced silence. And I talked a lot about my lack of comfortability in that silence, right? I mean, you're just not used to it. And again, I when I do keynotes, I ask people all the time, when was the last time you were in true silence? I mean, consider it. No music, no TV, no phones, no kiddos running around, you know, right? You you tell your spouse, you tell your family, you tell your kiddos, I need 15 minutes of silence. That means don't come in and ask me questions. I mean, when's the last time you did it? And what happened in COVID was the kids left the house half the time. And so I sat in this empty home. I owned restaurants at the time, no customers, not a whole lot of work to be done. And so I sat there, me and my ticking wall clock, forced in silence. And so as time went on, I became more comfortable in it. And what happened? I remembered, right? I always knew my purpose was to be a daddy and to have a family and to do those things. But the silence is where I re-anchored one to that purpose, but also started dissecting my life and recognizing where I wasn't living it out. You know, I talked about I went from 91 hours to 65 hours a week and I thought I was doing a great job. I was still stealing myself from my purpose, from the home, from my children, right? From life, and I needed to change. Nothing in this world, right, gets me out of bed like our family, right, and faith. Either of those is what I need to make everything else in this chaotic life and world make sense and gives me the strength to endure and to persevere and to stay patient and to get up and work hard. I get up and work hard for my family. If it was the other way around, then it doesn't work. Now that supports my family, and there are tons of things in our lives that support our purpose, right? When we talk about our crazy activity schedule, sometimes we need to take a pause and take a beat.

SPEAKER_01 18:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:17

And we can have a kiddo who is burning out, or we're gonna say, you know what? We've been running around like crazy for the last two and a half weeks. We're skipping practices tonight. We are not going out of this house. Now, the activities build resilience and teamwork and they're fun and they give them extra and they do all these things, but you know what? It's stealing from our joy and our purpose. We need to take that out because it supports our purpose better in this moment.

SPEAKER_00 18:47

So I I really want to provide some perspective here because we get this question all the time. How do you do it? How do you so if your purpose is your family and you have this insane schedule where you have you're running kids all over the place, how do you do it? It's because of what you just said. It's not the achievement on the field that we're seeking. That is a bonus. That's amazing. That's a moment that we will celebrate and have fun with and enjoy and love to be a part of with the kiddos, but it's actually everything that the kiddo is gaining on the field, everything they're learning, everything they're experiencing, the fact that we're supporting them, loving them through it all, and giving them a chance to do what they love and doing it as a family, right? How many dinners have we had together in the stands? You know, we we will travel together to the most amazing places to kind of do these really great things together and celebrate one or two kiddos doing doing their thing, but we're never so absent from how people are doing, how we're feeling, how we're thinking, and how we're experiencing life together that we would put the achievement over, right? The the kid, the person, us. And that to me is perspective as it relates to purpose. And I wanted to make that connection because how you described it was beautiful. It's not that work moment that you had in the day that didn't go so great that's going to dominate the rest of the evening. No, because when you got home or when you got out of the office and you saw your family, your purpose in front of you, all of that melted away. And that's the kind of perspective we're hoping to bring to people is do you have your priorities in check to the point where you know what matters and the rest of it can fade away?

SPEAKER_02 20:35

That's right. And and listen, we're here talking about being lost. If you know your purpose and are anchored to your purpose and you are doing the work necessary to eliminate the distractions, listen, the world is fighting for your attention. So if you don't recognize that you are in a fight, if you don't recognize that you're at war with marketing agencies who are spending billions of dollars to get you to be unhappy until you do what they tell you to do, you are already behind the eight ball. You've got to recognize what is being done, and then you gotta take your time in silence, remember your purpose and go. Right. We we talk to families and to parents all the time, both whether they reach out through the brand or it's just people that we're close to and we care about, right? And we are all so busy, and we can get so exhausted and so burnt out that we just forget what in the world we're even doing it all for. Why are we taking kids to 31 events this week? Why are we doing that? And we have to remember one, we love our kiddos and they love to do things, and it's all about. Their development and it's all about growing their character and it's all about supporting them and it's all about helping them discover their purpose and their enjoyment and to develop all these skills and camaraderie and friendships. That's great. Bottom line is it's because we love our family and we feel that that's what's best, but the events, again, are not the point. The point is the family. And you know, we we then take it up a level and say, well, look at you know, the Joneses went to Disney for two weeks, right? And when our kiddos come home, they're like, oh, well, so-and-so goes to Disney every year. And what's my response? We went for one day. That's all you're getting out of day.

SPEAKER_00 22:45

It felt like we were there for a week.

SPEAKER_02 22:46

It did, right? But but here's the thing that stuff creeps into your head if you allow it. And now you are feeling lost, you're feeling as though you're not matching what everyone wants. Then the kiddos are like, Well, if Jimmy can do it, why can't we do it? And Jimmy's family does this. Why don't we do it? If you are not secure in what you're doing and why you're doing it for, you begin to get swayed here, there, and everywhere. Up is down and down is up. And all of a sudden we come into feeling lost, feeling insecure, feeling as though we're not meeting some expectation, right? That we're not matching again what Instagram wants you to match and to be and to do. You must know you're in a fight. You must prepare yourself for the fight, and that comes in silence and anchoring to your true purpose.

SPEAKER_00 23:39

So it's it's it's so interesting that you naturally went here because I wanted to bring up the research that I had I had done prior to this, prior to this conversation. And some research consistently showed that social comparison increases anxiety, dissatisfaction, and feelings of inadequacy. And I was gonna ask you if you thought that people were chasing image more than fulfillment right now, but you kind of answered it. But I'd love for you to expand on it because, you know, is it the image that we're after? More than fulfillment, because I would actually argue that many people want to be fulfilled, they just don't know how to get there.

SPEAKER_02 24:15

Yeah, and and I I guess, yeah, that's uh that is a very pointed question. Let me say this. When you hear incredibly famous, rich people who have everything people say and believe they want and will change their lives, and you hear them, you hear them talk about it, right? And then what happens? They do some hour-long interview and they talk about how unfulfilled they are, how difficult their life is, how it's not all it's cracked up to be. And then everyone who is sitting there wanting it is sitting there furious because we believe that if we were wealthy and we were rich, we would be living the dream. I'm gonna take all these famous people who have everything everyone says that they want, who say that they're unfulfilled, and I'm gonna say this I trust them.

SPEAKER_00 25:01

Oh, absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 25:02

I trust that they are not actually fulfilled. And so, so here's the thing: you can have everything that you fantasize about and still be unfulfilled. Again, it comes down to purpose. And I think what happens is we now have access to everybody, right? So we now currently live in a smaller town in North Carolina. So if we didn't have access to 5 billion people, I wouldn't know what all these rich, famous people do on vacation. I would just know what my next door neighbor does on vacation, right? Which is go to Myrtle for a week. And you're like, yeah, cool. I can also go to Myrtle, right? There comparison now is the the opportunity for comparison is infinite. Yeah, it's extreme. It's endless. I can actually see what an astronaut does when he flies to the moon now, right? Like, am I gonna be envious that I can't go to the moon? I mean, it's possible, right? I want to go too. It's incredible. And so we chase now the life we are envious of that we only get snippets of. And so, one, we have access to so much more to be disappointed that our lives don't reflect as well. And I think we then always are looking to post perfect family photos, right? This other family who I haven't spoken to in person in three years, man, they've got a great Christmas card, and so that's always up. And and there's 17 kids that you know, they've they've got three times the amount of kids we do, and they have perfect pictures, and everyone is so happy. And wow, pancake breakfast is amazing, right? So what, man? So what? I only get one picture that they snap. I've taken a million pictures where we look awesome, and 10 seconds before two kids were crying, and a minute later someone threw something at the other one, and you're like, Yeah, life, man.

SPEAKER_01 27:08

It just is what it is, right? Now, also, if you follow me on social, sometimes I like to post things like that too. I actually try and give really good perspective.

SPEAKER_00 27:16

I'm gonna well, I'll say this, which is really funny. I feel like that was a trend for a while where people were posting all the awkward photos, or a lot of celebrities were were posting, you know, pictures of themselves without makeup. Okay, and look how vulnerable I am and look how real I am and things like that. And then it's then it's then it's all of a sudden now you're comparing. Well, would I do that? I don't think I would do that. I don't think I would. Oh gosh, yeah, sure. Well, then am I not confident enough that I wouldn't put a picture up without my makeup? So it doesn't matter what what side you know it comes from, it's always there. And it's not just there in image of life or family. I think we're focused a lot on that, but it happens at work too, right? So I think people tie identity so tightly to achievement now because so much of modern culture reinforces external validation. And we've said before that titles are rented, not owned. But do you think that people have a natural tendency to define themselves by their work, which also results in a lack of fulfillment at the end of the day?

SPEAKER_02 28:11

Well, here, a little perspective. So in the last year and a half, two and a half, maybe two and a half years, I'm I'm not sure how long it was, I actually dived into the social media world of LinkedIn. And as I meet more people and connect to more people and get exposed to more people and vice versa, right? And and all these things. Well, now I'm just on LinkedIn and and I'm recognizing that pretty much everyone is the world's best blank, whatever they do.

SPEAKER_00 28:39

Like the world's best cup of coffee at every diner.

SPEAKER_02 28:41

I've got exactly I've got more than 10,000 connections, and I'm gonna guess that 9,000 have the description nation number one this, top this, the absolute best at this. Yeah, it's incredible. Now, now I understand that that that's a way of promotion, and and I don't necessarily knock that, but the reality is this everyone's got a title, and if you want to be the best, blank, all you gotta do is type it down. Sure. Right? And so so one, what is the value of that title? Think about it, consider it when you are trying to make the very important decision of what do I do? When do I end work? How does work affect my personal life, my health, my well-being, etc., right? But undoubtedly, yes, we chase it. Why? Because I say it all the time, it's also not always the most popular thing I say, we're made to work. Yeah, we are made to work. There is an inherent feeling that we should work hard to earn something. And it doesn't matter if that's in the professional world, if you're a stay-at-home parent, you are made to work hard and achieve a goal. It is fulfilling. Here's the problem. You achieve whatever that goal is, whatever that title was, you're gonna want another title.

SPEAKER_00 30:15

Or if it goes away tomorrow, does that make you any less valuable? Does that make you any less capable?

SPEAKER_02 30:22

Yeah, absolutely. A great point, right? And so, so, you know, when we talk about hardship, when we talk about professional hardship and the loss of a role, a title, a job, it is incredibly difficult and can be unbelievably jarring. But can we still anchor to our purpose, which I, you know, is if it's your work, again, usually I say if it's your work, it's because it's mission-driven. You're really all in on that mission. And and listen, you can be and still lose that job, and it can still be horrible and feel horrible. But for the most part, I I don't hear a ton of people say my number one end all be all is work, right? But we do put so much emphasis on it. And we put so much emphasis on our success and our roles. If if I can just make the next role, the next promotion, then I can take care of my family and then I'll be home more. Right? To me, that's one of those distracting things to the side that are incredibly important, totally necessary, but gets confused and distracts us from our purpose. And so, yes, we chase those titles. Yes, they mean a lot to us. You know, it's not the end of the world if your title matters significantly to you. But perspective is continuously where I'm going to go when it comes to anything that is not your one or two purposes on this earth. And so, you know, it's another thing of comparison as well when you talk about comparison, right? So glad I got this promotion. I'm now the whatever the title, insert your title here, which no one else knows unless they're within your own organization, what it actually means and what it what that is. And what's next? What does that really matter? How does that affect your purpose? You know, so often we talk about don't don't put your ladder on the wrong house. Don't climb a ladder of life towards something. A lot of times it is work. I have found in my conversations and in these talks and keynotes, etc., that a lot of times we we say it's something other than work, but then we have our work house and we lay our ladder on it, and we climb and we climb and we climb and we climb and we climb and we sacrifice and we miss out on all the things that we say actually matter to get to this top of the house and you get there and you go, wrong house. Whoops, I laid my ladder on the wrong house. You want to talk about lost, you want to talk about confusion. You know, I I talked about I wanted to work and expand the business and get so big that I could be present more, and so I did that, and that was successful, and and that was great. And then I found out that all the stress I thought I was laying down actually was just being added in a different way. And so what's what's the new house? The the new house I have is just be alive at 85, right? Then I mean that's it, right? And and so so now that's the new goal. But the purpose remained the same. It was how you get there that continued to kind of transition, but never lost.

SPEAKER_00 33:51

Well, the reason why you didn't, you know, it felt un uncertain and uncomfortable for a period, but the reason why you didn't stay in this lost place was because you stopped. You took audit of of how you felt about and why, right? About what could be done about your situation that needed what needed to change, because you were constantly in focus of you know how your purpose was being lived. And that's the thing. It's one thing to know it, and it's one thing to re-anchor to it. It's another thing to audit your time in a way that says, I know how I'm feeling and and why, and and then I'm willing to do something about it because that that action, that's strength, that's resilience, that's what we're talking about when we say be disciplined. It's it's not a function of survival, it is a function of smart, intentional growth that does require hard decision making.

SPEAKER_02 34:52

Yep, and and direction, right? And you know, when we talk about, you know, I needed, and listen, I made huge pivots and huge decisions over a year-long, you know, practically time of silence during COVID, right? When when I got this medical news and said, boy, I've got to do something different. I mean, we're talking a few weeks, a few weeks where I was taking anywhere from 10 to 20 minutes a day in legitimate silence. What is it that I really want and how do I get there? Right. And and so after a couple of weeks, we came up with this new solution. I'm in the office one more day a week. So far, it feels as though it has been a stress reliever, right? And so there we go. And still working hard, yeah, still grinding for that glory, but remaining disciplined, remaining pointed in the right direction, right? We say discipline is direction, right? It's making, you know, it's making decisions today for tomorrow. And those are conscious and those are, you know, not taken lightly. And again, anchored to purpose.

SPEAKER_00 36:06

So in closing, I I wanted to just talk quickly about reconnecting to purpose when you feel disconnected or stuck, right? And the tips we can offer people. So you we've mentioned silence, we've mentioned reducing the distraction and the noise, right? Reconnecting to your values, right? This idea of discipline and work ethic, but again, auditing your time to figure out where is it that my energy needs to go so that I don't just deplete all of my energy and have nothing left, but I I can rest and rebuild, right? So it's it's working smarter and it's working for the right reasons in a manner in which leaves you, yeah, tired and depleted at the end of the day, but not unable to reset. What would you add to that? Because I I want to get into some other things that we haven't yet talked about, but I know those are the things that we started to dive into.

SPEAKER_02 36:57

Yeah, and I I just right when you said that you know, you're still gonna be tired. I I want to emphasize, right, becoming unshaken and knowing your purpose and taking time in silence, that does not negate the effects of life. Life is exhausting. And when you are being present and you are seeking to work, right, to grind as a parent, as a spouse, as a partner, as a leader at work, as an employee, as anything and everything, every every role, every title you have, both professional and personal, you are tired. But I don't think that feeling lost and disconnected comes from being tired. It comes from that lack of purpose and direction and remembering why we are doing all the things that we do. Yeah, and everything happened because listen, we also understand we've got full-time jobs, we're trying to bring hope and joy to every human being that we come in contact with. We got six kids, we're busy, and we are very tired. But the energy and the hope and the joy in the busy and the chaotic and the tiring, the exhausting comes from anchoring to purpose, caring for ourselves when it is necessary, taking time and silence to re-anchor, but also to just have a little bit of peace and to shed the stress and the anxiety and the things that come from busy lives. We are not saying don't be busy, we are not saying that you won't be tired, but what we are seeking to attack here is that feeling this, uh, that feeling of being lost, and that feeling of being alone and uncertained and and being on shaky ground, right? Become unshaken. The world will shake you. We want to help you anchor and and have a strong foundation. It comes from purpose. And so, you know, I don't want people to listen all this and think, well, I shouldn't be tired and I shouldn't have a lot going on. No, no, no, no. Life's gonna be that way no matter what. The question is, how do you feel as you live it?

SPEAKER_00 39:29

I think as we express 30 events a week, I think people know we're we're tired. Okay, so yeah, hopefully that's not lost on anyone, but uh the last tip I wanted to provide everyone, and I know I can sometimes sound like a broken record on this topic, but I can't conclude this conversation without mentioning the importance of gratitude in this in this journey. If you feel lost, uncertain, maybe you're in a time of transition with your career personally, right? Especially if you're you're going through personal changes yourself. Your kids are maybe growing and and leaving the house. There's so many graduations we've recently celebrated that I've seen a lot of friends and family celebrate. And that is a big moment, not only for the kid, but for you as a parent. If if you're going through a time of transition where it feels like you have to redefine yourself, that's okay. That is part of becoming unshaken, becoming who you are. And it will look and feel different as you venture through this crazy journey of life. So, so this is your this is your permission. This is your moment to say, I'm okay, right? And if practicing gratitude, and I'm already gonna say it helps me, it can help you. If it helps you, I would, I would suggest making it part of your everyday. And you won't know if it helps you until you try. So what I would what I would suggest is you take the next week and every morning, you start, grab your cup of coffee, grab your diet coke, whatever it is that you you start with in in your day, and you just sit in silence and think about what you're most grateful for, from the smallest things to the biggest things, from moments to people, from from things that you never thought you might have in life to the things that you, I don't know, if if without that time would never have thought of in that moment. And it could simply be that cup of coffee in front of you. And I can't stress the importance of this enough because it is so easy to listen to the voice in our heads that tell us things aren't good enough, we're not good enough, something's not right, something doesn't feel good. And and that might be true, but the silence that you give yourself to first start in gratitude can reveal so much about what's important to you.

SPEAKER_02 41:48

And I actually want to just I actually want to encourage you guys to write it down because when that voice is loudest, it is incredibly difficult and can be incredibly difficult to come up with it. And so as you're going through and doing this practice, as Stephanie has asked, don't be afraid to jot it down and have a little gratitude list in that phone, man, that you can pull out and over a week or over a month or whatever it is. I mean, you'll be sitting in the grocery store and you'll think of something and you write it down in there. Because starting your day that way helps infinitely. There's no denying that. But on those days where you are feeling lost and you are feeling on your own, open that up because that's when the voice is loudest in opposition to hope and joy and remember. It'll help you remember, right? And almost become like a meditation. And so, so do that, please do. I love that challenge. So very nice. I like it. But I also just want to say, but write it down because we are human and when we are feeling our worst, gratitude and hope and joy can be hard to come up with, right? In the moment, in the heat of whatever it is that we're going through. So just give yourself an extra resource. You woke up today. That is always where it starts. Today is another choice, another opportunity to choose hope, joy, your purpose.

SPEAKER_01 43:19

That's where it starts.

SPEAKER_00 43:21

Okay, so lots, uh, lots of ground covered today. Really meaningful conversation. And I hope you took a lot from this dialogue that we had. And if you did, we really do want you to share it with others. But before you do, we we want to close this in a meaningful way. Let's let's talk about what our conversation really covered. If you've been feeling lost lately, we really hope the conversation reminded you that you're not failing just because you're questioning things. Sometimes growth looks like discomfort. Sometimes transition feels confusing before it feels purposeful. And honestly, some of the most important seasons in our lives came after moments where we realized we couldn't keep living on auto. Pilot anymore. And maybe that's why so many people feel emotionally exhausted right now. Because they've spent years trying to prove their worth instead of actually understanding it. Your title is not your identity. Your productivity is not your worth. And feeling uncertain does not mean your life lacks purpose. Maybe this season is actually inviting you to slow down long enough to rediscover who you are underneath all the noise. And if that's where you are right now, we just want you to know that there's still purpose ahead of you. There's still joy ahead of you. And there's still growth ahead of you too. Thank you for spending this time with us today. We couldn't be more grateful for you. If this episode spoke to you, again, share it with someone. We ask you to download it, of course, that helps with other people finding us, because others will need encouragement in their own season of transition too. So as always, keep becoming unshaken, doing the work. It's worth it. And thank you so much for joining us today.

SPEAKER_02 44:59

Everybody, take care.

SPEAKER_00 45:01

We're so glad you joined us today. If you found inspiration through today's episode, share it with a friend and make sure to follow so you don't miss what's ahead. Until next time, choose joy, regardless, in whatever comes your way. See you next week.