Episode 30: Resilience Isn’t Hustle Culture

In a world obsessed with productivity, grinding harder, and always doing more, many people are quietly running themselves into the ground. In this episode, Stephanie and Michael unpack the difference between true resilience and toxic hustle culture. Together, they explore ambition, exhaustion, discipline, rest, and what it really means to build a meaningful life without losing yourself in the process.

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:05

Welcome to the Become Unshaken Podcast, where we journey through the hard together. We're so glad you're here. Welcome back to the Become Unshaken Podcast. My name is Stephanie Rodriguez.

SPEAKER_00 0:17

And I am Michael Rodriguez.

SPEAKER_03 0:19

And lately it feels like the world is moving faster than ever. Everyone is building something, chasing something, proving something, and studies show burnout is at an all-time high, especially among working parents, caregivers, leaders, and younger professionals. The World Health Organization now officially recognizes burnout as an occupational phenomenon tied to chronic, unmanaged stress. Wow. And honestly, I think a lot of people don't even realize how exhausted they are because exhaustion has almost become normalized. Do you feel that way?

SPEAKER_02 0:52

Without a doubt.

SPEAKER_03 0:53

Yeah. But constantly running on empty isn't resilience, and we can't stress this enough. It's survival mode. Michael and I both believe deeply in discipline. I think our audience knows that. We believe in hard work. We believe in showing up when things are difficult. But we've also learned that if your ambition costs you your peace, your family, your joy, or your health, it's just not worth it. And we know this personally between corporate life, business ownership, parenting six kiddos, podcasting, writing, speaking, and just the everyday responsibilities of life, there have been absolutely seasons where we confused survival with success. So today's conversation is about learning how to pursue greatness without losing yourself in the process, because becoming unshaken isn't about doing more than everyone else. It's not a contest. It's about staying grounded while life demands more of you. Okay. I will say I was doing some research before we actually were going to dive into this one. And one thing I found interesting in preparing for this conversation is that research consistently shows productivity actually declines when people are chronically overworked or emotionally depleted. So the very thing that people think is making them successful, all this hard work eventually starts hurting performance, creativity, relationships, and even health. I think many of us can probably relate. Have you ever gotten into a situation where you're meeting with somebody or about to have a conversation and you just don't have it, right? There's nothing left in the tank to draw from. So have you ever experienced this, Michael?

SPEAKER_00 2:29

I I've absolutely experienced it. And, you know, the opening is just tremendous at really depicting what the day-to-day life, I think, for so many of us are. But when you talk about, you know, the who WHO is, you know, talking about burnout as a legitimate phenomena, a legitimate product of the way that we work. And, you know, I I've read it for at least a few, at least three, if not more than three years, where we just see year over year, Americans especially are working more than any other country and actually producing less. And, you know, you you touch on it there just in the statistics and the reality. And I I remember even in my course at Harvard when they talked about multitasking, and they go, you actually don't multitask. You just do multiple things more poorly than you normally would if you were just doing one at a time. And so I I do believe that this idea of hustle culture and and really burnout is is a legitimate problem that we have as as a culture. And and without a doubt, you see it each and every day. And so, you know, yes, you know, how often when we see someone at at you know baseball practice or walk in the halls at a kids' awards ceremony or something, right? You just you come across every adult and you say, How are you doing? And everyone responds, the first thing out of their mouth is crazy busy. Yeah. Just crazy busy. And just surviving. Yeah. That's right. And and that has become a norm. And and all of a sudden now, because that's the normal, accepted way of living life, I think we now kind of, you know, like sheep, kind of just following along on that track of incredibly busy.

SPEAKER_02 4:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:17

On the verge of burnout, if not completely burnt out. And we just keep on repeating that cycle, yeah, never stopping to say, wait, maybe there's a better way.

SPEAKER_03 4:27

Yeah. It's a dangerous place to be because you suffer, your work suffers, the people around you suffer. So we wanna we wanted to get into this conversation because we so often talk about discipline. And so we wanted to distinguish the difference between discipline and normalizing this hustle culture that we we've already talked about and we will continue to talk about in this episode. Because even before we we turned the mics on today, we were talking about the term hustle culture and even what that means. And if we think about it, it was it's this kind of new way to almost take a positive spin on burnout because who doesn't want to hustle, right? Or work hard or it sounds good, it sounds kind of sexy, but it's not a positive thing to normalize getting to a place of complete depletion and burnout. That's not, that's not what we're striving for. So, so let's get into the conversation about the differences between discipline and hustle, hustle culture. I'd love to find out what that what that means for you, Michael, in your mind, because I think people do confuse them. And we we want to make sure that people walk away from this conversation with clarity and a sense of understanding.

SPEAKER_00 5:32

Yeah, I I think before we dive into, you know, really the way to maybe protect ourselves and or kind of reclaim some of our purpose back. I I definitely want to first and foremost speak to, you know, the millions of people who have to work insanely hard.

SPEAKER_02 5:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:53

You know, both of my parents and and being divorced were single parents and raising us on their own incomes, right, individually. And that required a lot of work and a lot of hours, right? My mom was commuting to the city of Chicago every day, so that was anywhere between 60 and 120 minutes of a commute one way just because of traffic. Totally crazy in and of itself. You want to talk about stress and burnout, goodness. But that required, you know, an eight-hour workday, then was a 10, 11 and a half hour workday given the commute, right? And everything that comes along with that. My dad, you know, did not make a lot of money when he kind of restarted his life at 40. He started out, I'll never forget it, sleeping on his mom's couch, making minimum wage. And his goal was to one, obviously get clean and sober and restart his life, but restart his career and get a place that he could then have my brother and I spend some time at, right? And, you know, he was working 60, 70 hours a week making $525 an hour as a salesman trying to restart. I mean, and then I started the business. You know, I'm not proud of it, but the reality is I had to work 91 hours a week for almost two years. Yeah. You do what you gotta do.

SPEAKER_02 7:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:15

And so, so first and foremost, I don't want I don't want it to have anyone who may be in that situation where, you know, it's inevitable. We're you're gonna have to work 50, 60, 70 hours a week to make ends meet and to pay the bills and to take care of your family and your responsibilities. You know, number one, kudos to you and do not stop. And and I don't want I don't want you to hear any form of judgment or any form of, you know, saying, hey, you gotta figure out a different way. If that's what you've got to do to survive, I respect it. I understand it. I've had to do it, I've seen my parents have to do it and do it successfully. You know, it's it's not fun, but you get it done and congratulations and keep on going.

SPEAKER_03 7:56

Well said.

SPEAKER_00 7:56

So so I want to start there. For those of us, right, and I I look, you know, I started out my professional career 91 hours a week, had to do it, and then, you know, 65 hours a week, had to do it. But eventually it became so normal that when I didn't have to do it, I continued to do it. And it had become normalized, grinding, you know, just for the sake of it, out of fear, out of, you know, concern, out of the need to have control over my business, out of habit. You train yourself and society trains you, right? I mean, look, when every single man and woman I talk to, and I go, man, yeah, how are you doing? You're like, yeah, I'm working 60, 70 hours a week, I just don't stop, and I keep going. And you're like, yeah, right, me too. Yeah, this makes total sense. This is what we're supposed to do. It has become so normalized within our culture that we don't stop to consider whether or not it's something we truly need to do. And I think for those of you who are not having to work 70 hours a week to pay your bills, this is really kind of talking to you specifically and saying, hey, is there a better way? Is there a is there a way that is healthier for you and for your relationships and for your family and for your health and all of these things? Is there a is there a way that we can maybe challenge and be counter-cultural? We say it all the time. You know, most of what we teach and taught, talk about and and touch on is countercultural from what the expectation is now. And we want to do that today. We want to ask and we want every person to look at their professional lives and their their personal lives as well, because we get burnt out running to practices and doing every event and making sure that we attend every single thing that, you know, is on our calendar. Is there a way in which we can truly prioritize our purpose and our future and what matters most? Is there something that we can maybe sacrifice, give up, step away from to find more balance and get ourselves further from the possibility of burnout?

SPEAKER_03 10:06

Yeah. So I'd love your perspective on this because the way I look at the differences between discipline and hustle culture, especially with the become unshaken mindset, you know, really at the forefront of my mind, I think about yeses and no's in the simplest way, right? What are we saying yes to? What are we saying no to? When I think of hustle culture and normalizing and even glorifying it, it's almost like, how many things can I say yes to and pack my plate with without taking anything off? Right. Can I be at every event? Can I can I be at every meeting? Can I take every lead responsibility? And can I be part of everything that I see in front of me to be engaged, active, and really part of, you know, this movement maybe that that is in front of me at whatever that might be for you for work or life, versus discipline to me is a healthy balance of yes and no, where you're thinking about what's really needed of you right now and what are you capable of giving your best, most quality effort towards. And and then ensuring that you're always thinking about your purpose in mind with that. Right. So to me, it's a balance. It's not saying how many things can I say yes to, which I know is probably blowing your mind right now because I love saying yes to things. Yeah, you do. But it's really more about actually saying, I can say no to this and I should say no to this to protect, you know, my well-being, my wellness, and my purpose. Right. So that's probably the simplest way that I can define the differences and the approach towards kind of seeing for yourself, am I acting with discipline in mind, or am I part of this hustle culture movement that is around us?

SPEAKER_00 11:54

Absolutely. And, you know, again, just a reminder, though the way that we kind of define discipline is living for tomorrow, right? Or choosing tomorrow over today. And in this situation or in this scenario, when we're talking about burnout, when we're talking about putting anything and everything into our lives and onto our calendars and and and giving ourselves additional responsibilities, it really comes down to, you know, again, discipline is direction. Where do we want to go? What are we actually living for? And what can we, you know, most of the time we say, what can you kind of delay the gratification of today or remove the easy decisions of today to, you know, prepare and build towards the future you want. In this case, it's we want to avoid burnout. Therefore, what decisions can we make today? What decisions can we make this week that that will sacrifice something? Right. And I think when we get into, you know, we can we can kind of let this even segue into, you know, what is it sometimes, the negative things that that actually drive busyness and drive burnout, right? But can we sacrifice things today to protect tomorrow from being the day we collapse, the day we have burnout, the day we can all of a sudden no longer meet any responsibility because we've just tried to meet a thousand responsibilities over the last month, half of which weren't even necessary. Yeah. Right. And so, you know, we can live a disciplined life. And sometimes that that doesn't even mean, you know, keeping back something fun or easy today that may sacrifice the future we want. In this connotation, it can actually mean what can I take off of my plate? What can I sacrifice, quote unquote sacrifice, for the greater good of my mental health, my physical health, my emotional health, my capacity to be present in the present and in the future by avoiding taking too much on. So how can I be disciplined to make disciplined decisions today to protect my future from being lived in burnout?

SPEAKER_03 14:03

And I'll say sometimes I like that you use the word sacrifice because there are some things that maybe you want to be part of and you really do see value in, but you still have to say no. The other side of the coin is maybe there really isn't a good amount of value in there for you, but your ego is driving you to say yes because you can't see yourself on the outside of something. So, you know, if if that's you, if you're someone that always has to be kind of at the heart of decision making and in the know and kind of have have a seat at the table of everything that you are a part of, that's gonna be really hard for you to sit down and think about, okay, what gets what gets into the no column this week and what am I going to continue to say yes to? Those are some hard decisions, but that's part of discipline. That's part of choosing tomorrow over today. It's part of protecting your well-being and ensuring that you're thinking about the long-term impact of your decisions because it's easy to say yes in the moment and and you know, everyone be so grateful for your willingness to participate or to help. But what are you, what are you then sacrificing long term with that yes on the table?

SPEAKER_00 15:12

Absolutely. I mean, all of a sudden, you know, you you're already doing a million things. And then, you know, I don't know, the the the neighborhood community needs someone to lead this next, you know, initiative within the neighborhood.

SPEAKER_02 15:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:26

And you're you have no time at all, and you go, Yeah, I'll take on a 12-month commitment right here, right now. No problem. Yeah, I'll get it done.

SPEAKER_03 15:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:33

You know.

SPEAKER_03 15:34

Oh, that reminds me. Do you remember the conversation where where I came home and I was like, I think I want to be a fitness instructor. I think, I think I really want to do this, maybe on my yeah, my spare time and on the side. And you were like, when? How? It in the moment, it sounded amazing and my ego was driving that decision. But a conversation with you, really about our purpose and about our time and what's possible made me put that in the note column.

SPEAKER_00 16:01

You mentioned that, and I almost fell out of my chair. I couldn't believe it.

SPEAKER_03 16:07

It happens that fast. So I think a lot of people miss the warning signs because high functioning exhaustion, it can look very productive on the outside. So I am curious for you, have there been warning signs where you were pushing yourself too hard in certain seasons?

SPEAKER_00 16:24

Yeah, I think two things. One, you know, you we talk about the warning signs and and high functioning exhaustion and how that looks, right? And and how it looks productive. I have since forever suffered from not feeling as if I could rest.

SPEAKER_03 16:45

Feeling guilty.

SPEAKER_00 16:46

I feel guilty when I sit down. Yeah. And and I've always been that way. There's always another, you know, counter to clean, floor to vacuum. There's always another chore to do. There's always something that can be done. I, you know, and then you get lauded for always grinding and always getting it done and always having something to do, right? But then the people closest to you go, you need to rest. And I spent years, probably even decades, of feeling immense guilt if I were to rest. And as a young adult and a young man, I was able to physically withstand that lifestyle. And then I hit, you know, mid-30s. You know, what what does it look like? What does a season look like when you're pushing too hard? I would have 24 to 48 hours of absolute collapse. 103 degree fever. I mean, all I could do was sleep 14 hours stints. I'd wake up for two hours, feel terrible, and sleep another 10 hours. I mean, just I my body manifested sickness to say, you must rest.

SPEAKER_03 18:14

But it's amazing. You don't go through that anymore.

SPEAKER_00 18:17

That is correct. And and and what did it take? It took me. Now now listen again, you know, a lot of that was just part of my nature. Part of it probably was my ego. Part of it is that that whisper, you know, of show your worth, show your value. You'll outwork everybody. You're never done. You can keep going, right? So there's there's the ego, but also I think like the the the whisper of, you know, self-worth and you know, pride and fear that, you know, if I don't do it, nothing's gonna get done, and I've got it, you know, all of this pressure that you kind of put on yourself. No one else, no one else says, hey man, those floors, why don't you vacuum them? You know, no, no one no one says that. No one's worried about that, but I see one thing, gotta get it done, gotta get it fixed. It took I'm sorry, and then single parents, right? You're you're divorced, you're a single parent.

unknown 19:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:14

And you literally feel as if well, you know.

SPEAKER_03 19:18

The world is on your shoulders.

SPEAKER_00 19:19

The world is on your shoulders, your world is on your shoulders. And, you know, the three-year-old, he's not gonna he's not gonna clean the counters, right? He's not gonna take care of himself. All these things aren't gonna get done. You still got bills to pay. You still We are afraid that if we slow down or even take one hour off, let alone one day a week, that every plate that we keep spinning is gonna fall and it's gonna collapse. I want to tell you from experience, it doesn't. If you're putting in that kind of work five days a week, even six days a week, you can take one day and give yourself some peace and some comfort and some relaxation. And listen, you got kiddos, relaxation looks simply like not doing a load of laundry today. But do it. Do it because the rest matters. I I I think we get so accustomed, as you said, and you live this way for so long, right? And how we handle it in the first year is not how our body and our minds and our souls handle it in the third or the fifth or the twelfth or the nineteenth year. We get older, the stress compounds. You know, we we've done a lot of research just given the medical stuff that's been going on with me, right? And you look at it and you go, the body has a fight or flight response. And that's supposed to happen when there is a disaster, when there is an emergency. We get so used to living in the emergency part of our body, like physiologically, we're always in the fight, fight, fight, survive mode that it like re-regulates your body and the way in which it processes everything else. Yeah. And if you do that long enough, your body gets and stays out of whack. And that's where you find yourself unable to, to, to move forward, where you find yourself stuck, or you find yourself overwhelmed, where you find yourself anxious. All of these things.

SPEAKER_03 21:29

With serious health implications. That's the other thing that we think we found is there is a direct connection to then your physical wellness. And it will impact you not only in the short term, but the long term. Right. There are there are small things that happen day to day in that moment, very, very much that are probably prominent and plaguing many of you right now. And then there is a future version of yourself that will be negatively impacted by that level of stress. So, so yeah, danger very much from a Mental wellness, but also physical well-being standpoint.

SPEAKER_00 22:03

And how ironic that you do all of these things in the present and you tell yourself it's for, you know, your family and for your kids and for your career and for your retirement and for your future and all these things. And so you're killing yourself today to make the future good. And what are you doing by killing yourself today? Yeah. You're killing your future. Yeah. And so, you know, you you again live in this heightened sense of survival mode and fight or flight. Then you also get burnt out and irritable. Or you kind of get numb and you're just like in your own head and and you're never present because you're always worrying and you're always considering and you're always thinking, and it's just a never-ending cycle.

SPEAKER_03 22:49

Yeah. For me, it shows up in that I I guess it would be irritability, that lack of grace that you can give everyone, even yourself and everyone around you. When I can, when I can tell that that, that is a very kind of a very short distance from the point where I'm I'm okay with the situation to the amount of grace I can give to where I get irritable. When that, when that has been shortened, when that is, when that is now too short for anyone's well-being, that's a that's a sign for me that I've already gone too far. It's already beyond where it should have been. And that's when I have to start looking at my list. And then usually the common, the common thread there is I've said yes to way too many things. And it's not always work-related. It's even things around the house. It's things in my personal life, the phone calls that I had to call back, the appointments I had to make, all the errands I had to run, all the things I had to do with the house. When I maxed out my calendar plus the professional commitments I have, that's when I have very little to pour from. And it's just an empty cup at the end. So I will say, you and I, I think have both been learning a lot about this and changing a lot about our day-to-day, where I'm seeing that less and less for both of us, which is great. And I think that's why we wanted to have this conversation today, because now we've we've lived and learned on both sides of the equation.

SPEAKER_00 24:07

Yeah. And and again, just as evidence, we both have incredibly demanding full-time jobs. We have six kids. We've started this brand. We are doing anything and everything around the house that needs to get done. We are parenting our tails off. We are active in our church. We have a million things that we do. And yet we have actually improved our quality of life and reduced, we hope and we believe, our capacity for burnout, even given how busy we are, because we are making these conscious efforts to one, protect kind of our our well-being and our schedule and our time, right? We we make good use of the time that is open. We are not we're trying our best. Uh we're not perfect, but we are trying our best to not fill empty time with stuff. Yeah. And we are becoming and have been more conscious over the last handful of months to take every Sunday to make that about presence and family and faith and rest and recovery.

SPEAKER_03 25:25

We're also now perfectly okay with asking for what we need, right? So if you need a rest hour or day or evening, if I do, if I just need, you know, a moment to kind of be on my own or be by myself or go for a walk, we ask for what we need. Yep. We're aware of what we need. And I will say, I think we've we've both this, I don't even know if you'll agree with this statement. I think we've both redefined what success is for ourselves. I know, I know I have. I'm curious to know if you would agree with this statement. And when I'm what I mean by redefining success, the only area where I strive for quote unquote perfection is in my relationship with this family. So am I spending enough quality time with each of the kiddos? Am I, do they, do they feel seen? Do they feel heard? Am I acknowledging what they need and kind of, you know, making sure that they're leaving with cups filled so that they can pour out during their days, right? Is our relationship, you know, healthy? And are we emotionally connecting on what we need? Right. So all of those things probably take greater priority now than they've ever taken versus trying to be perfect everywhere. And I'm not even saying that we can get to perfect in these relationships. But if there's anything that I kind of grade myself on at the end of the day, it's how well did I show up for my purpose and how much of a priority was it during my day?

SPEAKER_00 26:49

Yeah, I would absolutely agree with that, right? The again, we're we're making sacrifices, we're taking things off of our plate. We are saying no to certain things today to build the relationships within our family and to spend the time and have the the, you know, to be present to facilitate the future that we want, which is a healthy future, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, strong relationship and marriage between you and I, right? Which means that there are there are nights that we absolutely have to stay in, connect, talk, catch up, rest. And then there are times when I need to take you out on a date because that's what's going to be best for me a cocktail at an actual bar, not in my kitchen.

SPEAKER_03 27:37

But what did we just celebrate? You just celebrated this on social. You you put out the most amazing post about a toy a day we just canceled the other day. Oh, yes. We were both just exhausted. Because again, you can slip into these moments of exhaustion. And we're not here to say that even when you focus on the things you should be focused on, that you're gonna be rested. That's not the case either. Our days exhaust us no matter what. It's just do we feel fully and completely depleted to the point where you know we can't recover? So it is a balance. But that particular day, we just looked at each other and said, we don't have it.

unknown 28:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:12

No, cancel everything. We are staying in. We we want and we celebrated Mexican takeout, and we came home and and we did not. And and the other choice was to get all dressed up, to go out on an elaborate date and to go out to a, you know, restaurant.

SPEAKER_03 28:29

Still want to do that though.

SPEAKER_00 28:30

Yeah, I know you do, and and so do I, and I can't wait to do it when it works for us, right? But but we made, you know, a decision in the moment that changed our entire day, that was completely necessary. And we went to bed that night and woke up the next day refreshed and grateful at the decision that we had just made, at the sacrifice that we made. It was what we needed to do. And and the the real point was to encourage all of us to make more of those decisions. Now, I'm not saying this is an excuse to be selfish and say, hey, guess what? I need this, and so I'm not gonna do this, and all of a sudden, every single day I need all of these things, and everyone needs this. So, so please don't take this point to the whole opposite end of what the heart of this is, which is we want to prevent the pressure. We want to reduce the expectation that we must be busy every minute of every day, or there's some sense of failure or not meeting the expectation or not keeping up with the Joneses who you see, or just doing all these things. No. At times we must listen to our bodies. At times we must make decisions today to protect our future. And we want you to do that and to be open and honest with yourself and with your tribe about what you need and allow them to do the same. And then you help each other continue to recover and take on the responsibilities you all have, because there are things that we almost absolutely do.

SPEAKER_02 30:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:09

But don't add to it to the point that you are burning out and then not any use to yourself or those around you.

SPEAKER_03 30:18

And I want to make the connection of what you just said because it was so profound. It is how you get to joy regardless. Otherwise, you have joy never. Because if you're if you're burnt out, you've said yes to everything, and you're you are now a fully participating member of the hustle culture. Yeah, it's really gonna be a hard thing for you to say out loud that you have joy regardless, because you can't find the joy. You're too tired. You're too tired. So you you just actually gave a nice segue to the next question that I wanted us to kind of end on, which is about what you do next. Where do you go from here? Right. If if someone listening feels exhausted right now, but also feels trapped by by responsibility, like, yeah, Michael, I hear what you're saying, but I have all of these things on my plate and I can't say no to any of them. Maybe. Maybe. What would you want them to know?

SPEAKER_00 31:14

You know, we one of the things when we talk about purpose, we talk about prioritizing your purpose. And, you know, when when I talk about this specifically with individuals, or I I touch on it in the keynote, you know, whenever I'm trying to make a point about prioritization, our time, our calendars tell us a lot. One about what our purpose is, but the other kind of catch to time is we actually have more time than we acknowledge. I think a lot of times one yes, we get it, we are super busy and ours just disappear in the blink of an eye. But when you look at seven days holistically, I am going to guess, and I think we just saw a statistic in church over the last, I don't know, two months. The average American streams things like Netflix and Hulu and Prime like more than two hours a day.

SPEAKER_02 32:20

Really?

SPEAKER_00 32:21

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 32:22

So I don't remember that.

SPEAKER_00 32:24

Yeah. Oh, I do because I'm such a fan of technology.

SPEAKER_03 32:27

That's a shocking number.

SPEAKER_00 32:28

Yeah, no, it's it's incredible. Now, and now listen. Yes, there are many of Americans who watch 14 hours of Netflix. That probably includes scrolling and things. Yeah. Yes. I mean, look at your screen time. Yeah. Look at your screen time. You want to you want to do an audit of how much time you have in a day. Look at your screen time, check your screen time, do an audit of that, and it'll say you are on Instagram for 71 minutes, for example.

SPEAKER_03 32:52

If you're scrolling for that long too, I bet you do feel exhausted. I bet that is part of your body and your mind telling you you're in that over overproduction state of being.

SPEAKER_00 33:05

Sure. And people use that to kind of numb out, but then, you know, surprise the algorithms are actually made to actually keep you in that fight or flight stance. They make you, you know, aggravated and agitated and they they drive you up so that you continue to scroll because nothing makes us, you know, more engaged than fear. And so, you know, social with let's not get into the weeds.

SPEAKER_03 33:27

Social podcast coming up.

SPEAKER_00 33:28

That's right. But so I I talk about silence and I talk about time and I talk about peace, I talk about prayer, I talk about moments. I would challenge everybody, even that single parent working 12-hour days, seven days a week. There are five or seven or twelve minutes in a day, right when you wake up, right before you go to bed, sometime in the middle of the chaos, that we can stop, silence our phones, silence our noise, and anchor back into what? Those the that that inner voice that says who we are, what we want, what is our purpose, how do we get there, and breathe. Reset, re anchor. You're working 14 hours a day, you're doing it because something matters enough to you to do it. So again, congratulations. Re-anchor to remembering what that is so that you can finish the next six-hour shift off strong. Time and silence is available and is also neglected. None of my guy friends take time and silence. Right? I mean, that just When's the last time? I mean like when.

SPEAKER_03 34:52

I bet you're gonna get a few focus. I'm sure I am. I'm sure I am. Yes, I do. Yeah, that's right.

SPEAKER_00 34:57

But but silence is so valuable. And it has so many, it has physiological responses. You are calming yourself, you are regulating your breathing. Yeah, you are resetting your mind, you are taking and shedding the stress of the day or the moment or the moment, uh, the the day before, whatever it is. It leaves just a little bit, right? You talk about gratitude, you change your mindset. All of these things bring perspective that then gives us permission to rest, permission to remove things off, to say no, to alleviate stress, all in the name of what? My new purpose. Yeah. Which has changed from, you know, retire young so that I can do all this mission work and do all these things and be an active grandpa. Nah. My new goal is to be alive at 85. That's it. So now what do I require? It requires me to say no sometimes.

SPEAKER_03 35:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:57

It requires my 10-hour work days to become seven and a half.

SPEAKER_03 36:01

So evidence to this. I I I obviously subscribe to this method and to this approach, but evidence to this is interesting as it shows up in the workplace. There is, I think, an actual benefit. If you've never done this before, this is this is permission to try. There is a benefit to starting even a business, a professional meeting with a minute of silence. I don't know if anyone who's listening has ever tried this. I've tried this at work. It's amazing. It is almost profound. A minute of silence forces you to stop whatever train of thought was was kind of carried forward from the previous meeting, from the previous conversation, from the previous phone call, whatever it was that you were experiencing. Otherwise, you just kind of run right into the next emotion and you are just carrying whatever you had, all that baggage into the next conversation. One minute of silence gets you grounded, anchored, and actually thoughtful and intentional with the next thing you say. It's amazing. And I make that connection because what you're asking for is five, seven, 10 minutes of silence at the start or end of your day or any point where you can find it versus mindless scrolling. And the benefits of that to just overall, as an overall component to your own well-being and sense of self is it's it's amazing. It's life-changing. But just try it even in a in a professional setting, and you will see the benefits. And it's proof that when you stop your mind in its tracks, you regain a sense of control. And it is so empowering. So I I just I I I give you that as a proof of concept, not just in our day-to-day, but even at work, that this works.

SPEAKER_00 37:49

I love that. I I hope, I hope we get 30 messages next next week. So it's so great. That it's been done and tried, and uh that's incredible. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 37:58

Yeah. Well, you talked about small resets really making a difference. You talked about silence and reflection. I will also say we need to stop glorifying exhaustion. Like when you're when you're completely depleted at the end of the day and you're rewarding yourself for that, maybe think about rewarding yourself for keeping your purpose in priority order. Right. So rather than thinking about them the 10, 12, 15 tasks you were able to get off the list, think about the one or two that mattered most to you that were done, that were completed and were truly a priority in your day. And you just start rewiring your brain towards success, that can that can help tremendously. And then I would also say give yourself the permission to ask for help. Right. So if you can tap into your tribe, ask for help from the people around you, it can really go a long way. You might think that people know what you need, but they don't always, especially our partners, especially our partners in life. They don't always know what we need. And if we ask, I really do hope and pray that they are there for you in response. Because I will say, in my personal experience with Michael, never have I asked for something and not received it when he understands my purpose and my intent and what I'm dealing with. But I can't expect him to read my mind and no partner really can. So so that's the other thing I would say. If if it's if it's something you're dealing with, this feeling of exhaustion, this feeling of being trapped by responsibility, these are just a few things that can that can maybe help you. So I want to close this out, but Michael, any last words before I before I do?

SPEAKER_00 39:43

No, I I I think that's all great. Uh more than anything. More than anything. You know, yeah, the the glorification of hustle.

SPEAKER_02 39:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 39:52

Right. And it is so toxic and it has become just so cultural to say, look at how hard I work. Now, listen, we talk about grind before glory.

SPEAKER_02 40:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 40:03

And we say, we were made to work and working hard and working hard over long periods of time to achieve a goal brings fulfillment and that builds resilience. But when you are doing it with no purpose in mind, when you're doing it out of ego, like we touched on, or you're doing it just because it sounds good. That's right. Oh my goodness, yes, for for the wrong reasons, all of those things, none of that will lead to joy.

SPEAKER_02 40:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 40:29

And none of that builds resilience. It it just creates burnout, right? And then you're going backwards. We want to build momentum forward, not backward. And so, you know, for a second, I'll just touch on men, we are told to work harder than everybody else, and it is a true badge of honor. And you are looked at as how hard did you work this week? I mean, the first thing, you you get together with a guy at five o'clock, six o'clock on a Friday, and you're just taking inventory of everything you've done. What have you done? Everything you've completed. Give me a, you know, just a laundry list. You know, I did this and I did this and I did this and I did this. Oh, it's tiring. But I'm gonna keep on going because I'm so tough. If we aren't honest about how we are feeling, we will only be able to pretend for so long. And I want to make sure that all of us, right, and and men, I'm talking to you as well now kind of specifically. We've got to have someone that we can call to say, it's Wednesday at 8 30 in the morning, and I'm already done with this week. Life is killing me right now, and I need to say it out loud, and I need someone to hear me, and I need someone to speak truth and hope to me. And then we also gotta take inventory of what we're doing and why we're doing it.

SPEAKER_02 41:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 41:54

But burnout is real, anxiety is real, stress is real, and there are real long-term effects that come with it. And we need to begin making decisions today to protect that future, to protect our purpose, to protect ourselves today and in the future. And so I want to make sure that that that really comes across. And it also starts with the way in which we speak to others. So if we, you know, who are kind of all in on this, let's not burn out just to say we did or because culture expects it. The more we change the way that we talk about things and look at things, especially in our own circles, in our own tribes, our own families, our own communities, the more normalized it gets in in our circles, the more it becomes normal for others, then, right? And then it touches other people, whereas it's not a badge of honor to have worked 120 hours this week and never been home, and you're living fine and everything's okay. Prioritize. Anchor to that purpose, take time and silence to recover from what this world gives and to be ready for the next day and every day thereafter.

SPEAKER_03 43:11

Well said. Well, maybe one of the biggest mind shifts that people need right now is understanding this. Being constantly exhausted is not proof that you're succeeding. Sometimes it's proof that something needs to change. Work hard, be disciplined, chase purpose, but don't lose your soul trying to prove your worth through productivity. Some of the strongest people we know are not the loudest grinders in the room. They're the people who learned how to stay grounded, present, consistent, healthy, connected. That's real resilience. And maybe today is your reminder that rest is not weakness. Boundaries are not failure. Slowing down long enough to protect your joy doesn't make you less driven. It makes your life sustainable. Thank you so much for being here with us. Thank you for growing this community with us across so many cities and countries around the world. It's amazing. If this episode resonated with you, please do share it with someone who may need permission to breathe today and rest today. Download this episode, share it with someone that you love, and we're just so glad you were here. Thank you so much for being with us.

SPEAKER_00 44:16

Everybody have a great week.

SPEAKER_03 44:18

We're so glad you joined us today. If you found inspiration through today's episode, share it with a friend and make sure to follow so you don't miss what's ahead. Until next time, choose joy, regardless, in whatever comes your way. See you next week.