All Guts, So Gory: A Horror Movie Podcast

Demon Knight (1995) Billy Zane Steals the Show in a Cult Classic | Justin's Picks

• Mike, Justin, and Charlie • Episode 62

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All right, I know what you're thinking. You give up your soul, you turn into a demon, you listen to All Guts, So Gory. Where's the payoff, right? Listen to your friend Billy Zane, he's a cool dude, and he absolutely kills it as "The Collector". A hilarious demon in search of the last key that takes him to a small town inn, where he'll rule the universe if he succeeds. 

Demon Knight is a Tales From the Crypt Production. Directed by Ernest Dickerson, and starring Billy Zane, Jada Pinkett Smith, William Sadler, and Dick Miller.

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All Guts, So Gory is a weekly horror movie podcast hosted by Mike, Charlie, and Justin. Each week, one host picks a horror film of their choice—anything from cult classics and slashers to supernatural chillers and modern gore-fests—for the trio to dissect. With a mix of sharp insights, dark humor, and plenty of passion for the genre, All Guts, So Gory delivers lively discussions that celebrate the bloody, the bizarre, and everything in between. If you love horror movies, this is the podcast to sink your teeth into. 

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SPEAKER_03

A mysterious drifter arrives at a rundown boarding house, pursued by a charming yet deadly demon who wants a sacred key. When the building becomes a battleground, the residents must fight to survive the night against a growing horde of demons. Coming up next, all guts so gory presents Demon Night. All right, welcome back, guys. All guts so gory podcast presents Demon Knight. I am Justin. With me as always, I have Mike Randall. Oh, cut that. We don't want your last name. We got Mike and Charlie. Let's I'm gonna cut that like a little more shorter. Yeah, take two on that one. Take two. All right. Welcome back from the intro. I'll Guts So Gory podcast is presenting Demon Knight tonight. We've got to solve that either. Yeah, that's awful. Don't say Demon Knight tonight.

SPEAKER_02

Read your first one. Take three. Take three.

SPEAKER_03

All right. Welcome back. I'll Guts So Gory presents Demon Knight. I'm Justin. With me as always, I have Charlie and Mike.

SPEAKER_01

Deuces.

SPEAKER_03

How are we doing today, yes?

SPEAKER_01

Good enough. Great.

SPEAKER_03

Good enough. We have a what I think is a delightful movie that we are presenting today. It's 90 minutes long. It has some great that guys in it. Great people from the 90s. Yeah, we got Jada Pinkett. We got CCH Pounder. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

SPEAKER_01

You better keep her out of your mouth.

SPEAKER_03

Pounder hardly knew her.

SPEAKER_01

You get a pimp slap.

SPEAKER_03

But anyway, yeah, we got great people. We got a hokey story. Alright, so let's jump right into. I've seen this one probably, you know, seven to ten times. What about you guys?

SPEAKER_01

At least. Yeah, same. It's got a rewatchability. I like it.

SPEAKER_02

Like it, Mike. This was a first-time watch for me. First one. You you sprung this on us last night, and we're like, hey, can you guys watch this tonight? And I'm like, sure. Found it, threw it on, 90 minutes. Great. And you know, so I'm kind of wild guarding a little bit, playing the role of Charlie in this one because of the uh short time. But you know, I I think we can't really talk about this until we talk a little bit about Tales from the Crypt. Oh, we will. We will. My my history with Tales from the Crypt was I didn't catch it in its heyday. I caught it when it was in syndication. So it used to be on HBO, and it was blood and guts and nudity and curse words. And then they clean all that up, and after the HBO run, they run it on like Fox or the WB at like midnight. So it was like it was kind of a thing when I was a kid that you would be able to like catch tails from the crypt at midnight or whatever if you were able to stay up long enough and like sleep over or something. But it was on syndication on cable, so it was like all the good stuff was cut out. I think they took some of these that were like 40 minutes long and made them like 22 minutes.

SPEAKER_03

Um well you have to you have to jam in commercials and stuff, right?

SPEAKER_02

So that so Demon Knight was one that I was not familiar with, but that's kind of my history with Tales from the Crypt. Right. Seeing some like well-known actors playing a bit part in these, you know, little horror shorts. The one I remember vividly was Joe Pesci starring one.

SPEAKER_03

Nice. So yeah, Mike Mike mentioned this, and we can we can do this now. Tales from the Crypt ran on HBO from 1989 to 1996, so seven seasons with 93 episodes, contributions from hella famous people Robert Zemeckis, Richard Donner, Joel Silver, actors, you know, anybody from Brad Pitt, Demi Moore, Arnold Schwarzenegger, big names were wanting to be a part of this, right? So this movie came out in 1995. So at the tail end of the series run, it was the first, I believe it was before Bordello of Blood, it was the first one that went to Hollywood and released as a feature-length film, right? So I was also a big fan of the show. We did occasionally have HBO back when I was younger, so I occasionally caught some some live and in the in the at their gory best episodes. What about you, Charlie?

SPEAKER_01

What about you for so I remember when when this was playing, and you know, this was you know, I was mid-20s, you know, having kids like There's No Tomorrow. And so I there was some of this, you know, I it makes me want to go back and watch them again because they were really good. And it was, you know, like Twilight Zone, the new Twilight Zone, the second coming of Twilight Zone, and then there was that other show I can't remember what it was called. Oh, that's the shit movie. Uh sort of, you know, like the you know, Twilight Zone was the first, right? The outer limits this one, yeah. Outer limits. So this one, yeah. I mean, I loved it. When I could catch it, I would, and they were great. And Mike, you missed out. If you haven't gone back and watched them, HBO style, uh, I was just about to see if they're on HBO Max, so I can go watch a couple afterwards.

SPEAKER_02

Well, if they are, they have all their the rest of their HBO.

SPEAKER_01

But they don't they don't put everything out all at the same time, like they do like a Disney thing where sometimes they don't have their older stuff, and it'll come back for like a six-month, nine-month run, and then they'll swap in something else. It's not like Sopranos, Sopranos is on all the time, Game of Thrones on all the time.

SPEAKER_03

Well, that allows them to also rent out their their IP as well to like a Netflix, you know, for a while, and it actually gives value to Netflix for that time. It was based on an old comic, let's see, EC Comics, Tales from the Crypt. Not there was a movie in the early 70s about it too. I think we referenced it on our 1970 to 74. This is not a remake. Tales from the Crypt is not a remake of that, but it is the same source material, and it does have a crypt keeper. So the first thought when I was watching this again is how well does this play now to people that are not familiar with Tales from the Crypt at all? And this little goblin thing walking around making making stupid puns and you know, you know, the worst puns, right? But the best puns at the same time. How does that play? Is that annoying to somebody who's never seen it? But I mean, Mike, you're familiar with Tales from the Crypt.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, of course. I think if you've never seen Tales from the Crypt or have never seen The Crypt Keeper, then if you popped in this film, you'd be like, wait, what the fuck is going on? Like you wouldn't understand the intro and him being the director of this little film as he's introducing Demon Knight or the end of the film where they're you know he's in Hollywood, right? Demon Knight. You're like, you wouldn't you wouldn't understand. So you know, certainly helps if you at least have a little bit of knowledge of what Tales from the Crypt is before going into this, or you can just fast forward six minutes and then you're treated as a standalone film. Also, this was I just looked it up. Tales from the Crypt is on AMC Plus, which means it's on Shudder. Nice, not on HBO.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I was gonna say it is his historically, air quotes, not on HBO Max and not part of the HBO franchise where they play it, then it's exclusively on Shudder. Interesting.

SPEAKER_03

It must have bought that IP from them.

SPEAKER_01

No, no, I think HBO has just so much content. They don't want to water down the stuff that they that they really make money on.

SPEAKER_03

Alright, so what do we what do we give this movie though? Like I I like to say it's seven out of ten or so, but like a lot of fun, right? Always entertains myself.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. I like it. I mean, objectively, it's probably like a six.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, I mean that's not far off.

SPEAKER_01

I don't like it, it doesn't have to be an Academy Award-winning movie for me to watch it over and over and over and over and over again. And this is one of those movies that is like I don't really see flaws in it. I I just see the good stuff and I love it. So I I realistically I I would give it like a seven, seven and a half.

SPEAKER_03

All right. A Charlie score of seven. Yeah. An objective score of like a six or five, but a Charlie score of seven. Mike, what about yourself?

SPEAKER_02

If I'm giving an objective score, it's like a four or five, but but uh I'll give it a I'll give it a seven because I I enjoyed I enjoyed some of the lines. Billy Zane is having a fucking blast, and you can tell. Yeah, but there's the stuff that's just like, all right, dude, thank like what are we doing here? Like just from an objective. He stole the movie. He stole he 100% stole the show.

SPEAKER_03

You walk away from this being like that was the best performance.

SPEAKER_01

It was Billy Zane not winning Oscars and big movies now.

SPEAKER_02

I mean, he's out there like shooting fire out of his crotch. Sorry about that. Like it's just it's so over the top. But I but it I also like, I mean, all the characters were good. Like the I can't I don't know who the character was. Like I said, I'm wild charting this because you threw this on us last minute, but the girl, the the lady who runs the brothel, she's got some lines like get that pussy off the table. And CC while the while one girl's laying on the table. Yeah, you know, just it's some good lines, more like a tune-up and a lube job, you know. Uh oh my gosh. That was there's some good stuff in this. The guy from Wings. Right, Thomas Aiden Church, yeah. And I like how they made the demons look. Yeah. I like how they made the demons look. That can always go poorly, especially if they're just not done well, or if the makeup's not good, or if they're not scary enough looking. They made them look fucking gooey and like just hairy, gross, like you can smell how bad they look. It's it's uh really well done with the demons. And what'd you say, Charlie?

SPEAKER_03

Hear me out. Is that what you said? No, I did not.

SPEAKER_02

I love it. It's good that they set it in a brothel, but there's not like sex workers all over the place. So it's not exploitation.

SPEAKER_03

It's kind of like a boarding house. It's uh yeah, it's a hotel. They're selling other things. There is a there is one hooker that lives at the hotel.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, sex worker. Come on now.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, yeah, yeah, you're right. You're right, sorry. So it's not, but it's not exploitation, you know, there's not sex workers all over the place. So right, right.

SPEAKER_03

So the we will we'll talk about the elephant in the room. Tons of nudity. I'm just gonna throw it out there. There's tons of top, topless ladies in this movie. Sorry, Charlie, I know you're not a big fan of that kind of thing. I hate it. I hate it. So from from the fake movie at the beginning to to in the you know, in the movie where Willie's Willie's uh fantasy that uh Dick Miller, baby. Yeah, Dick Miller. No. So this uh was released by Universal Pictures with Dark Castle Entertainment, January 13th, 1995, runtime of 92 minutes, so it almost meets uh Mike's uh required 90 minutes. Budget of 11 million bucks, it made about 21 in the box office. So modest success, doubled its money, but also more of an advertisement. It probably was an effort to pick the ratings back up for the show as well, I would imagine, because it's right at the end, and that's probably when things start to die down a little bit. So let's let's give them a feature-length film here.

SPEAKER_01

But it kind of beat that, you know, like they have like a good show, and the m and they're you know, hey, this would be great as a movie, and it doesn't come out to like seven or eight years after the show's over. Like, what the fuck, what's the fucking point? Right, right.

SPEAKER_02

Like the Sopranos did that, but even longer, they had like the Sopranos prequel as a movie. Yeah, which wasn't necessary.

SPEAKER_03

I just feel like whenever like The Crow, nobody watched the crow because Brandon Lee died, and like you're bringing out another, you know, and like whenever you do that with like Gandolfini dying, and then you try to bring in I don't know, right? It's tough. It's a it's a tight rope to walk. You guys ready to talk about the casting crew a little bit? We'll do this. Alright, director was Ernest Dickerson, not really a a movie director, did a lot of show work, small screen, if you will, but he was a cinematographer on for the movie Juice with you know Tupac's Chicore, a long time collaborator with Spike as a cinematographer as well. So, yes, R.I.P. Tupac. Pour some out for him. Written by Ethan Reef and Cyrus Horas. Later they worked on Bulletproof Monk and Sleeper Cell. So also not in the horror genre. So this was kind of them.

SPEAKER_01

But decent. I've heard of those movies. I've seen them.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, sure. So Tony Shallou did that. In Bulletproof Monk? That's just monk. You're you that's close. That was the fat or whatever his name is. It was a I think it was uh a Woo. John Wu, maybe? Is that the one with Stifler?

SPEAKER_02

I know it's not Tony Schaloub.

SPEAKER_03

Stiffler was in it. Stifler was like the uh Tom Williams Scott. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Actors. I'm gonna lead off with the best performance in 1995, probably. Billy Zane as the collector. He I mean, he was charismatic, just cool as shit, delivered every line perfectly.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, Billy Zane.

SPEAKER_03

Just good stuff. Billy F and Zane. Mr. Titanic hates Rose or whatever. Yeah, the Phantom. Was he the Phantom? He was the Phantom. Oh, it was a horrible movie, but I'm not that Affleck was the bomb and Phantoms. This is just the Phantom. Singular. So he was also in Sniper and some other films like that. Zoolander. Zoolander, right? He's one of the bombers. Listen to your friend Billy Zayn there. Yeah. He's just known for being a good looking guy, right? To some. If you're into that kind of thing.

SPEAKER_02

Great bone structure and stuff. Yeah. In my group chat, him and Zoolander doing it's a walk-off when he does the it's a walk-off. Right. And that that gif we would share back and forth whenever the Orioles had a walk-off win. So well, you know, once a year.

SPEAKER_03

Right. I mean, when they win 13 games in a year, you know.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Oh burn. Oh, snap. Burn. Cal Ripkin Jr. Cal Ripkin Jr. is the is so unfortunately Mike's freezes up a little bit in the bottom of the screen. No, I'm not going to say that. I'm going to start talking. Okay. Okay. No, you're back. Your body was going to be around. I was never going, I don't think. Boomerang.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, you were gone.

SPEAKER_02

I started talking shit about the Oreos. My computer was like, dude, what?

SPEAKER_01

You didn't say anything when I said Cal Rickham Jr., so I knew something was wrong.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, I was ignoring you.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

No.

SPEAKER_03

So we also had William Sadler in his most likable role ever. Every other, well, the Bill and Ted stuff is pretty good, but normally he's an off-beat, creepy kind of guy that I don't like to do. Guy Hard II? Yeah. He wasn't the main guy in that, was he? Wait, who would the main character? Yeah. He was the leader of the Nation.

SPEAKER_01

He was the leader of the military squad that came in and was actually. Oh, okay. Gotcha. Gotcha.

SPEAKER_03

Not the bad guy.

SPEAKER_01

VFW.

SPEAKER_03

Right? Yeah. What's your relationship with William Sadler, Mike? You got any films you want to mention?

SPEAKER_02

No, unless he is the bad guy from Die Hard 2, then do a naked catch.

SPEAKER_01

He's done a lot of movies. Yeah, lots of movies. Shawshank Redemption.

SPEAKER_03

We have Ms. Yes. We have Mrs. Will Smith or Jada Pinkett Smith. Speaking of Tupac. Speaking of Tupac, they had a friendship. She was that was okay. I need to ask you guys, is it Geraline or Geraldine? Because people are calling her everything. I think somebody called her Geraline, and obviously she's known for The Matrix, Reloaded, Gotham. She's been in a ton of things. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02

Like I said. Bring it on. You put me on the spot for this one.

SPEAKER_03

CCH Pounder. Irene, the leader of, not the leader, the owner of the Motel. And Thomas Aydenchurch from Wings, Sideways, Spider-Man 3, all that. Alright, any any comments on any actors? Did I miss leave anybody out? Except Dick Miller. Dick Miller, man.

SPEAKER_01

Dick Miller.

SPEAKER_03

Back-to-back Dicks movie. We had Chopping Bone. Well, actually, no, it won't be back to back. But this is the second movie that we've got. Two out of three.

SPEAKER_01

Uncle Willie. Uncle Willie's been in 12,000 movies. Did it a lot.

SPEAKER_03

Alright. So we're good then. We want to jump right into this thing? Sure. Yeah, let's go. We start off with a chase scene, a very slow chase scene, but we've got Breaker running away from the collector, and we hear Filters, Heyman, Nice Shot, which is the most 1996 song that there is, I think. It was great at the time. Obviously Breaker, we don't know he's Breaker yet, but fleeing from it. So we don't know. Just two men chasing each other. He runs out of gas, turns, starts shooting, boom, big explosion. That forces the action into town, right? Into town. So we go to town.

SPEAKER_02

Even though you only see one village. Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01

Going over a hundred miles an hour. They were going over a hundred miles an hour.

SPEAKER_03

Wow. So he runs town because he's a thing. What'd he steal? Antiquity or something.

SPEAKER_01

We'll get there.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. So yeah, he breakers like crap. I gotta steal another car. Somebody catches him, forces him from the halfway house restaurant, is what it's called, the halfway house, which is, you know, real appealing restaurant, right?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

In New Mexico. To the it was another bad name hotel, but it was a motel. The overlook. Yeah, it wasn't the overlook. It used to be a church. Used to be a church. He snuck in the back way, and that's where he met Dick Miller. Drank some hooch off of him. And then Dick Miller's actually the one who owns. Willie actually owns this hotel. Sorry. CCH Founder Irene is just the uh the manager or co-owner or something. But anyway. The madam. Money talk. Yes.

SPEAKER_02

Not a madam. Is there or is there not a sex worker in this place?

SPEAKER_03

There is one sex worker. There's not a brothel make.

SPEAKER_01

It's like it's a classic end-of-the-road hotel, right? Right. Where you uh you are uh at at the bottom, you have hit rock bottom, and this is where you have wound up in a rock bottom state, love New Mexico, lived there for 12 years in the rock bottom hotel motel used to be a church, and they don't the town is so small they don't even show the fucking town.

SPEAKER_03

There's no town, there's two buildings, maybe a house or two. Didn't show it though. So yeah, we get to meet Dick Miller. He basically brings him in, and then we see all the people in Skid Row, right? One of my favorite lines coming up in a little Bit where the Thomas Hayden church or Roach, Mr. Roach, as he's called in this one, comes in and says, Hello, motel people. It's perfect because they're motel people. We've got the the postal worker. Down Mama's Bluck just got fired. We've got the sex worker as my reference. We've got the the one that's on prison release, work release. That's Jada Pinkett's character, Jaroline, Geraldine. We got Irene, the the tough, no shit taken front desk lady. Who am I missing here? That's it who lives there, right?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Wellie and the two cops.

SPEAKER_03

The two cops. Yeah. So there, yeah. So he gets there to the the motel, and then obviously the collector is like, I need your help chasing this guy down. So that brings the the action to a head there, right? They believe his story that he's on the he's chasing this guy because he stole something extremely valuable and he's a thief. Let's get him. You know, as cops do, you know. That both people walk away from this fireball. And they're fine, right?

SPEAKER_01

Airbags.

SPEAKER_03

You know what bothers me? Immediately Irene drops a dime on breaker. I know it doesn't matter. But like Irene's like calls the cops, doesn't it? Snitch. What's a snitch, man? Snitches get snitches and lose their arm later. Is what happens to snitches, right?

SPEAKER_01

And then get blown up.

SPEAKER_03

Right. Any any favorite characters so far? Any any uh favorite lines that I've missed or anything?

SPEAKER_02

I mean, Billy Zane's got a uh, you know, like a kind of wisecracking nature to him already. Like you already know you're gonna have some fun with this guy, even though you don't know what he's all about yet. Yeah. But he's he's kind of excited to see him more.

SPEAKER_03

He's well-mannered, he's complimentary of the cops, he's you know, he's working with them and and yeah, including them in his mission to get this really dangerous guy, right? Right. So I think they they're like puffed up a little bit. One of them seems super stupid, and the other one doesn't seem that much smarter, the two cops.

SPEAKER_02

No, they're they're very typical Keystone cops. Or they may even be brothers in this small town. Oh, they're definitely related, like a brother-in-law, probably.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We did, but did either of you guys want to talk about the fake movie before the movie, or no?

SPEAKER_00

Nah, good. Nah. I mean, it's it's job.

SPEAKER_03

But yeah, okay. So back at it. Help me out here. Where are we at? So the cops show up.

SPEAKER_01

The cop yeah, cops show up.

SPEAKER_03

They search his like his satchel, if you will, that he had on him. Couldn't find it. They go up to search the room for this key, right?

SPEAKER_01

Then movie full of snitches. Will Uncle Willie dimes him out.

SPEAKER_03

He's like, I saw him snatched even though I didn't know I saw it. Yep. What do you mean? So he finds the thing, and then we immediately see him, oh, he put something awful in there. Go ahead and dump that out for me, right? So that's our first indication that the collector cannot touch this key as is, right?

SPEAKER_01

Right. It's really important, and whatever's inside of it is really important too.

SPEAKER_03

Do we have did we have our first flashback yet?

SPEAKER_01

No, that's not until he is upstairs and falls asleep, I think. Right. Okay.

SPEAKER_03

So we don't know what's in it. We just know that he doesn't, yeah. He the collector wants it. The audience, I think, is hit to the fact that he shouldn't get this. This is not something we want him to get, right? Right. Fair enough. Just put it in here. In the meantime, quick. Something stops them from pouring it out and changes.

SPEAKER_01

The cop is like, whoa, don't do that. That's evidence. Oh, yeah, he took it. We need that.

SPEAKER_03

I think at the same time he found out that both cars were stolen, right?

SPEAKER_00

Yes.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Both tires were stolen, so we're both gonna we're gonna go down to the station, figure this out. Which is where the first batshit moment of the movie happens.

SPEAKER_01

And Billy Zane's like, we can figure this out right here.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Why wait? And what happens, guys? You could you could take this.

SPEAKER_01

Punch through the mouth and through the back of the head.

SPEAKER_03

Punch through the skull.

SPEAKER_01

It looked amazing.

SPEAKER_02

It looked like punching the T1000, like the head turned into liquid metal. You couldn't get your arm out of it.

SPEAKER_03

Which which indicates that this is a this is a Jason Borges type strength that this guy has, right? You punch through a head. Oh yeah, he's supernatural. Supernatural, you know. Yeah. And then, you know, I think Irene spits out her toothpick, and everybody's like panicking and and stuff. They are able to he's breaker is able to get the keys off of the dumber cop's belt, undo himself, and he's able to put the key against Collector's face.

unknown

Right?

SPEAKER_01

Which burns him.

SPEAKER_03

Which he's like, haha, and then he jumps out of there basically.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

And we're like, at this point, we're like, oh, there's something in that key that hurts him, that's their weapon against him, and shit's going crazy.

SPEAKER_00

Yep.

SPEAKER_03

And everybody's yelling at him, what the hell was that? What did you get us into, etc.? Meanwhile, he puts a drop of of the goo from inside the key on the door frame, creates a barrier. Well, it's it's blood.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

We do know it's blood, but I don't know if like he's announced it to. Right. So we do find out that it is blood. Not sure exactly when, but the story is that this was filled with Jesus' blood at one time. Right?

SPEAKER_01

Eventually we find that out, yeah.

SPEAKER_03

We find out that it was Jesus' blood at the beginning. That's mostly gone away. There's probably still a little bit of his DNA in that key somehow, but it's mostly filled up by the people that not that kind of movie.

SPEAKER_01

Not that kind of podcast. I I kind of, you know, I've seen this a bunch of times and I've seen it again. My idea of like what is going on is kind of evolved. And I think, you know, because when he lays down like the exposition of what's going on, we're talking like a span of three billion years. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. When the they were, you know, I'm sure you'll get to that, so I'll just pause that part. But then it's like, I feel like Jesus was just one of the guys in the long line of people, humans who were protecting this key from the bad guys.

SPEAKER_03

That is where they start us off. That is the first Demon Knight, if you will. That's so the movie is called Demon Knight K-N-I-G-H-T, as in a night against demons, right? So that is uh what this movie is after, and yeah, it leads us to believe that one of these flashbacks shows demons chasing a guy, just a guy, and what's a key from him? They accidentally walked under Jesus and the blood burns the demons. So I don't know if the key was just a key before the Jesus blood and gave him a weapon or not. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01

This is unfortunate. But why would it be a container? You know, right? There are some plot holes, it's a little confusing. You can go a lot of different directions, and there would be a lot of people. There would be nothing in the movie that would be like your theory's wrong, mine's right. Right. It's just it leaves it up to the viewer.

SPEAKER_03

So exposition tells us there are seven keys spread throughout the galaxy. Cosmos. Cosmos is what they said. Okay, so that is space and time. Is that what we're saying here? I don't know.

SPEAKER_01

I know what the cosmos is to you.

SPEAKER_03

So the demons have six of the keys, and it is down to the last key, which would make them rule everything, essentially, right? One of those catch-alls. If you get the last seventh key, yeah. Get the seventh key. Yeah, go ahead. Dark Lincolns over light stone. Yeah, kind of. This would be like the reality stone. If you get that reality stone, shit happens, right? Yeah, as Charlie was mentioned, though, I think dark wins out over light. Cosmo's full of dark. So it's down to us.

SPEAKER_01

Are we at the point where he he tells them and gives them that extra?

SPEAKER_03

It's all in this, it's all in this part, you know. Like pretty soon we divide up, right? We divide up. Cordelia, I think her name is, is obviously with Roach. We see them kind of jump up Mike's favorite part, right? Yeah, the jumper cable scene, right? You want to take that part? That's not my favorite part, but I mean you said it's just like a normal Tuesday for you, right? Oh, no. No, no. Well, my nipples are on fire. But yeah, so avoiding the city. Anyone who knows me knows I ain't doing anything like that. For some reason, the other cop needs to go search all the rooms. So he was looking for the key at first, but then he took the liberty of like staring in on the two, doing some pretty crazy stuff with jumper with battery, car battery, and some jumper cables.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

What did he refer to it like, Mike? What was your uh what was the description he said? I don't know. It's like a full full tune-up and lube job. Oh, yeah, something like that.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, when when he describes it, like more like a tune-up and a lube job. Yeah, something like that.

SPEAKER_03

I don't need to know. Get back to it, yeah. So anyway, Cordelia, we know that that is a regular John or Trick for the uh sex worker.

SPEAKER_01

Or maybe just her boyfriend.

SPEAKER_03

Maybe boyfriend, maybe all of the above.

SPEAKER_01

You know, knowable.

SPEAKER_03

Maybe she's not a sex worker.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, she's a sex worker.

SPEAKER_03

She does offer to give what's his name.

SPEAKER_01

The post office guy.

SPEAKER_03

Yes, a freebie.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, a freebie, right? She thinks about it.

SPEAKER_03

She doesn't offer it to him, but he loves he loves her. And that was another funny line where it's like, that's just what he needs to get screwed again by someone else or whatever.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Right. So yeah, we're jumping all over the place because this one is a short one with a lot of flying stuff happening around. So yeah, in this time, they split up, and we see that the the collector can tempt them, right? He tempts Cordelia.

SPEAKER_01

Well, doesn't he do his little dance outside first?

SPEAKER_03

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

When he couldn't get into the when he couldn't get in.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, that was the best.

SPEAKER_01

And he brings in the recruits.

SPEAKER_03

How did I almost forget that was a great scene, too? So like Breaker puts the key on his face, jumps out the window, and he says, What's with you, ho dunk, po dunk, mother effort? Like he does this whole little like country dance, and it is awesome. I'll probably put it on the insta so people can see it and enjoy it as much as I do. But at that point, he says, This place is condemned. I didn't want to do this, slices his hand open. Yeah. He's got surge in his blood, like the old soda surge. For like reanimator, yeah, exactly. Creation stuff, yeah. Yeah. He he slings it on the ground and out of the ground oozes up these demons that Mike was describing earlier, right? Great practical effects. They are gooey. There's some that are puppets, there's some that are people in suits with great makeup on, but it's great. They all have these green eyes. Yeah. Which is important later because everybody has amazing aim. Unbelievable, right? Unbelievable, right? So yeah. So they try to get in, and everybody runs around trying to you know fight them off, kill them, shoot them in the eyes, and it frees their souls. Shoot them in both eyes. So nothing else will kill them. Yeah. We're all together on this point. Yep. Yeah. You liking it? You liking the method of killing them?

SPEAKER_01

I mean, yeah, it's fine, but everyone has a really good shot in this movie.

SPEAKER_03

So good at killing these things. I'm like, holy shit, man. I've seen some movies where they can't hit somebody, you know, standing 10 feet in front of them, but they're shooting out eyeballs.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Boom, boom. Both of us.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, both quick shots. All right. So after that, after they've they're able to fight them off and put the barriers up, that's when the expedition happens, because they're like, what is happening? And he tells them. He's like, if you if you believe what I'm gonna say, I don't know if you're gonna believe me, but here's what's happening. Those are demons. I thought we were safe because there were only five people here. He's got this mark, he's got this tattoo of stars on his hands. So if all seven line up, he knows that that's the end game, right? He knows that he's he has to pass along the key to something else, to someone else, like it was done for him in World War One. Look like it. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

So he he's been carrying the the torch since World War One. So he should be like 80 something years old at this point, right?

SPEAKER_01

Or like a hundred.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, because he was had to be at least eighteen to be in there, right? Right. Well, back in World War One, who knows?

SPEAKER_01

They took what they get, they could get it.

SPEAKER_03

I think you could get a permission slip and you could join at like 14 back then, right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

He's almost a hundred somewhere in there.

SPEAKER_03

But exposition says at one point in this long line of demon knights, Jesus' blood was in here, but then after that, each demon knight kind of fills up the key and passes one to someone else.

unknown

Yep.

SPEAKER_03

Fair enough? Yep, yep, good. Alright, we're good. The end. No. So that was the first thing, and then you're right. Then then he starts, he being the collector, starts trying to pick them off one by one, appealing to their their weaknesses, tempting them, whatever. Right.

SPEAKER_02

Right. Making making them make deals with him.

SPEAKER_03

Deals with me. Yeah. Fair enough. Cordelia's the first one to get it because she got smacked in the face by Roach and was crying, and he's like, Oh baby girl. He did his like say anything without the boom box.

SPEAKER_01

He's like, Let me holler at you. Let me holler at you.

SPEAKER_03

Let me wipe that tear from down here. All you gotta do is let me in. Yep. And then she knows how to get is it Larry? Is that his name? Is that the poster?

SPEAKER_01

Post workman. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03

He gets got. Yeah, he got Scott. She eats him, eats him up good. I think he got like a little kiss out of it first. Oh, he got what he wanted.

SPEAKER_01

That was enough for him.

SPEAKER_03

What's the line from Stepfrothers? You're just curly headed. That's what he went. That's what this guy was. Yep. Alright. So that's the first one. We gotta kill Cordelia. And everybody's pissed because Cordelia's a beloved member of the family. Right. Right. Mike, did did uh Jaroline ever finish cleaning the stove in this movie? I don't know. No. Probably she did. She kids get distracted. She kids get distracted. There's a cat that keeps finding its way in, even though it's supposed to be an outdoor cat, I guess.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, it was up a little bit.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, your favorite line, right? Get that pussy off the table. And uh that Cordelia jumps off. Let's talk about the cat. That was good stuff. Yeah. Who wants to jump in? I feel like I'm talking a lot here.

SPEAKER_01

No, well, again, that's your movie. I mean, like so at this point, I mean, it it it's just following a great formula that always works in horror movies if you have decent acting, decent directing, and a decent script, where you have a a crew, a cast of characters who are isolated. What you know kind of works with Mike's theory on the the last podcast with Van Horizon, where you have like you know certain characters who fill certain roles. Crew, yeah. Yeah, there's there's no uh leftover characters, there's no forgotten about characters, they do their thing and they get you know persuaded to do the wrong thing.

SPEAKER_03

There's always one that's gonna shit goes wrong, yeah. Always one that's gonna sell you out to like like Roach is that character in this one. The first second he gets, he's gonna turn him over to try to think for themselves, but or to save themselves.

SPEAKER_01

Um yeah. He should have just shot and killed him early. Like, does that break the thing? Like if he kills one of the one of the seven?

SPEAKER_03

Maybe. Maybe. I mean, it's so also in this during the Cordelia fight, breakers like push, thrown to the side, other people try to break in. Irene grabs the key, tries to put it on Cordelia's head. She grabs her arm, breaks it, rips it off.

SPEAKER_02

No more arm, rips it off, rips it right off.

SPEAKER_01

Right, rips it off. I don't know how a person would react with their arm being ripped off. Not like uh not like that. Irene does a great job. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03

She was in shot, she was drinking a lot of the vodka.

SPEAKER_01

Running around, yeah.

SPEAKER_03

She was running around, they they they somehow get forced down into the basements.

SPEAKER_01

Is this the underground passages? There's like a tunnel or something. There's a boy right then. Area is riddled with my old mine shafts and tunnels.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, that's what it is. So so he the cat, they chase the cat down because I think he's the cat's not immune or something, right? He's trying to do it. But then they find out that there's a tunnel behind the there's a sp there's a passageway into the mines that Larry, not Larry, but Willie. Willie remembers from his time in the mines. There's a spur, there's a spur, north spur that gets in the middle.

SPEAKER_01

Don't they want to get out, but then he talks them out of it?

SPEAKER_03

And then they he says we don't know what's if they haven't if the demons haven't found this mines too, right?

SPEAKER_01

But then eventually they just go back to get out anyway.

SPEAKER_03

Stupid roach decides he's gonna call the shots and and bust down the that wall. And then it's basically like, alright, we're gonna stick together. Yeah, you know, put the put the drop of plug behind us. Obviously, the mind plan doesn't necessarily work out. Find the little kid, Timmy? Yeah, Jarline is kind of looking for the cap, but gets taken into the her fantasy of being basically like a fashionista, fashion model or something. Definitely the collector has the hots for her, has an eye for her, offers offers her the stuff. That was actually upstairs. Sorry about that, but anyway, that was that fantasy. Yeah, she she's gonna be able to do that. We see the kid in the co yes, we believe she resists. We see the kid in the mine, and then we see his parents have been turned into demons, right? Possessed.

SPEAKER_01

So they gotta beat feet out of the mine.

SPEAKER_03

They do, they gotta get out of there. They get out, put the drop of blood on the thing to block the dad and the mom in there.

SPEAKER_01

And then Mike fucking Roach. God damn fucking roach. Roach. Mike's like what happened. This, hey, you are being the best wild wild card, Mike. I'm not that wild.

SPEAKER_02

I watched this movie for the first time 20 hours ago.

unknown

All right.

SPEAKER_03

So Roach Roach says this is for all, this is like for 10 years of minimum wage work. Like, what the fuck does that even mean? And he like, I guess he's his boss, right?

unknown

Right.

SPEAKER_01

How is that the demon's fault?

SPEAKER_03

He's gonna but he's gonna shoot that demon because he was the boss, right? Right. It's like in The Simpsons, the Treehouse Hour, where he goes, hey, you shot zombie Flanders, and Homer goes, Flanders was a zombie. Right. Exactly. Just shoot him, but it also destroys the barrier, and you know, just more pouring in. Right. It's around this time that we also get to see get to see Roach's, not Roach's, because who cares about his fantasy? Willie's fantasy. Is Willie's fantasy the best fantasy guest?

SPEAKER_01

Well, yeah, they they they break in. Yes, objectively. Non un undebatable.

unknown

Right.

SPEAKER_01

So they break in. Yeah. They break in, so they all have to go upstairs.

SPEAKER_03

They do have to go upstairs.

SPEAKER_01

And then they put that barrier on the stairs so that they're they're up there safe, and that's when he falls asleep, and you see his experience, and then the whole where he gets the thing put in his hand, and then you see the Jesus scene.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Jesus. And we get to see the demons like walking around with like cloaks on, like they're full of people. Like a demon.

SPEAKER_01

Look at my 13-inch fingers. Do you think I'm just a demon in a cloak?

SPEAKER_03

Nah, man.

SPEAKER_01

I'm not a demon in a cloak.

SPEAKER_03

No, bro. Yeah, not the drones you're looking for. So yeah, we get to see she try he tries to tempt uh Irene with her arm back.

SPEAKER_01

Yep. No, that's that's later when they go up in the attic.

SPEAKER_03

Are we upstairs? We're on the upstairs, right?

SPEAKER_01

We're on uh upstairs, yeah, and then Willie goes missing and the kid goes missing. So that's when they they're still safe.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, they're up drinking in the attic, actually.

SPEAKER_01

So they're looking for them, right? So they're going from room to room, people split up like you should never do in a horror movie. And Irene finds Willie upstairs drinking, and the kids up there reading Tells from the Crook Comics.

SPEAKER_03

Yep, and that's that's when we also discovered that the postal worker was going postal, if you will, which is an offensive term, you know, for postal workers. But is it what is it accurate? So apparently uh he had a manifesto, he was going to, you know, even he had been secretly what he was fired for was legit. He was stealing everybody's mail and reading it. Yeah, and um it was up there.

SPEAKER_01

It's the kid, Irene, and the deputy are upstairs and they're going through his stash.

SPEAKER_03

Right. Right tons of guns but no ammo.

SPEAKER_01

And then they send Willie down to go get everyone else. Right. And I think Roach had lifted the key from Breaker before they all split up to go look for Willie and the kid. And Roach is by himself. So they're out, so yeah, he's holding on to it, and they're all looking around, but he doesn't have the opportunity to you know try to get out of there and make a deal or whatever yet. Then they go upstairs, they find Willie, the kid, and Irene and the cop, and they send Willie down to go get everybody, and that's when Willie gets it.

SPEAKER_03

She was like, leave the bottle, and he was still like wanting some alcohol, and that's what uh collector.

SPEAKER_01

Somehow the kid goes downstairs too, and he's in the room with Willie.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, he follows Willie down. Yeah, yeah. As Willie tries to kill Breaker right after his fantasy. Willie's trying to kill him.

SPEAKER_01

So Willie and the kid are in this room, and Willie's like, in this fantasy, and the kid's like, what the fuck, Uncle Willie? And then we get the whole Willie fantasy scene, which is the one.

SPEAKER_03

There were like, what, nine, nine models there with their their boobs out.

SPEAKER_00

A lot.

SPEAKER_03

Willie was he was not not hating it. Uh we get some more fun, Billy Zane playing the bartender. Drink up, Uncle Willie. Drink up. This is for you. Right.

SPEAKER_02

How many times did uh how many times did Dick Miller miss his mark or or missing speaker? Be like, oh guys, we gotta we gotta shoot this again. Like how many things you think they did? He's a confident professional. Was he drunk? Was he drunk, maybe?

SPEAKER_03

You think he accidentally fell on anybody, you know? Probably. Right? Accidental motorboat is what that you know, not an on-purpose one. All right, so uh sorry. This is gonna be the craziest episode yet, but we're trying to make this happen here. Willie trying to kill Breaker, the kid's screaming, don't do it, don't do it. Who chops off Lily's head?

SPEAKER_01

Um so how did he get a neck? What's her name? Gerlin comes in. He didn't want to do it, right? She doesn't want to hurt Uncle Will. She's like, put him down, put him down. He loves it and he Willie's got Breaker up against the wall by the neck. I mean, how this guy stays conscious that long is is unknowable, and then the kid's freaking out, and he Brager grabs the machete and he cuts his head off, but the body is still going after him. The kid like puts a blanket or a rug over the head and he can't see, and he's like, the eyes, the eyes, and then the kid picks up the head, and there's like these deer antlers mounted on this table, and he goes over and boom, eyes go out.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, like perfect slots for the eyes, you know, apparently. Great head though, right?

SPEAKER_02

I like that's what she said.

SPEAKER_01

But like I think this is the point where uh Roach goes to make his deal. Right. And I'll let you take that because that was a pretty good scene.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, it's a good scene. This is a deal with the devil, like I mean, this is the trope of the deal with the devil, is like exactly it never turns out what you expect it to be. You didn't really need to make it in the first place. And in this one, he just explicitly tells him, like, hey, I lied.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, right. He's like, okay, and does this and does that, gives him the key, thinks he's away. And the Billy Zane's like, Can I kill everyone else? She's like, Yeah, do what you gotta do, man. And then he goes downstairs, and when he's almost away, then he's like, Oh, one more thing. I lied, and then just gets like chewed up. Yep.

SPEAKER_03

Did you like how he had the the wet sponge in his mouth? Like that so he can't. It's cuts, good cuts, I guess.

SPEAKER_02

It was like you know, it was like the ATM machine like spitting your card back out, like a sponge coming out of his mouth. I'm like, holy shit, how'd they do that?

SPEAKER_01

So he wipes away the barrier so they can all go upstairs now and kill everybody else. And then he gets got and then they go upstairs to kill everybody else.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, but you know, he's getting killed down there, and Geraldine or somebody shoots the bow and arrow through his eyeball, forcing him back downstairs, and the key is still on that level. So he doesn't have the key anymore.

SPEAKER_01

Right. So then no, but he no, he's up. Geraldine is he there, all the demons are coming up and looking around, and everyone else, like they're in that one room where Uncle Willie was trying to kill everybody. The collector comes up with the other demons, and that's when he goes up into the attic or tries to get up in the attic, and Irene Irene is she he's like goes to do her fantasy, right? Like, here's your arm. I can make this happen. You could have your arm back. And she picks up her stump, and he's like, Is that a yes? And she's like, No, that's me giving you the middle finger. Yeah, right? And then it's so good. What does she do to drive him back down?

SPEAKER_03

He just says, Well, I guess that's a no. Or I guess I'll talk to you later. Something he just like is it works. Right. But that is when, yeah, so that's when Roach is getting killed. But at that time, it looks like he's got the keys, got everything he needs, but then he gets shot in the eye. Flops the suitcase, yeah. She drops the suitcase. Irene and Irene and the deputy force the others, or I guess it's just Jerlene, the kid, and Breaker.

SPEAKER_01

They're up in the attic. Go up to the attic, go up to the attic.

SPEAKER_03

My house, I make the rules. She's got the freaking six grenades on her or eight grenades that are kind of like daisy chained together, so she can use one.

SPEAKER_01

Which the postal worker was gonna use to go blow up the post office.

SPEAKER_03

Use like one pole bar to get all those. And the and the deputy to his credit did the brave thing and stayed with her. That was nice.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, he didn't have to. Nah, definitely didn't have to.

SPEAKER_03

But that was a lot. Didn't that seem very What's her name in Aliens?

SPEAKER_01

Elephant.

SPEAKER_03

No. Oh no, no.

SPEAKER_01

You're talking about the lieutenant and the the female corporal who are like you're a whatever your name is, and they blew up all the aliens in the van.

SPEAKER_03

Right. They're keeping the uh Gorman.

SPEAKER_01

You're an asshole, Gorman. And then they blow up all the aliens in the van.

SPEAKER_03

So we're safe. We're just gonna wait this out to the morning, right? That's what uh that's what the plan is in the attic, I assume, right? Let's wait this out to the morning. But that Tales from the Crypt, comic book, comes back, little boys reading it, the eyes open, possessed.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, wait, so they just have enough blood for one entry. Instead of putting it on the door up to the attic, window, they put it on one of like five windows. Like, what's the fucking point?

SPEAKER_03

And why not?

SPEAKER_01

It worked out that and then the little kid gets the demon special through the comic book.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, he he goes all pennywise, his mouth opens up crazy. Great, more great practical effects here. Yeah. Kills essentially gives Breaker the mortal wound, the the fatal wound, right? And then like sticks his tongue in it. Like, what the fuck? Yeah, but kicks him out the window that's got the barrier on it that kills him. But oh shit. He had kind of scabbard out earlier. She was able to tolerate the blood on her and put it on the window.

SPEAKER_01

He knew what the stereo was gonna be. The scenario was gonna be because he lived it. He was with seven people, including the whoever the key holder, or whatever he's called, when the key holder was taken out and he became the new key holder. So he knew it was gonna happen. Like he knew about the tattoos, a lining, and blah blah blah.

SPEAKER_03

He identified her after she was able to resist the temptation, right?

SPEAKER_01

And then took the blood and put it on the window herself. He's like, Oh, yep, you're the one.

SPEAKER_03

She knows how to do it. So anyway, so he tries to explain this has to be you, right? And passes it along. She gets all the visions, all the memories of all the key holders, right?

SPEAKER_00

Yep.

SPEAKER_03

And she has a full thing of blood on her, right? Now she's like, oh shit, Billy Zane, the collector, is coming in here. What am I gonna do? Does a cool, brilliant little thing, just uh gets naked-ish, pours blood on herself.

SPEAKER_01

I would have sealed up all the doors and windows, yeah. So there's no chance of that happening.

SPEAKER_03

You have plenty of blood now, right?

SPEAKER_01

But then the her her plan B or her plan A, which wouldn't have been mine, she covers herself in the dude's blood, the breaker's blood. So she's just a bloody shield, protected Jesus blood ready for Billy Zane to come up, and he doesn't see it coming.

SPEAKER_03

So hear me out, guys. No, I'm just all right.

SPEAKER_00

I'm gonna be doing that one.

SPEAKER_03

He tries to grab her arm and realizes, you know, she's covered this blood or whatever.

SPEAKER_01

And he like started to burn and be a lot of pain and dives down the attic door hole.

SPEAKER_03

Dives down, and then she follows, you know, like one shouldn't get away.

SPEAKER_01

No, I feel like that's when you secure all the entries. Oh yeah, okay. Anyone wouldn't have the great ending we had.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, the ending was great. He she tries, she follows into the bathroom, sees the first dead sheriff or deputy in the bathtub, but notices the shower curtain is down. Yep. He he grabs her with the shower curtain and starts to bathe her, right?

SPEAKER_01

Those in the bathtub and turns the shower on, and you know, what does he say? Like, you should know this. Cloniness is next to godliness. Yeah. Gets all the blood off of her.

SPEAKER_03

So I forgot a good line between Roach and the Collector when a roach is like Viaco Dios, and he goes, Viaco Diablos. Right, right.

SPEAKER_02

Anyway, but that was the uh cleanliness is close to godliness. Is that from like smashing pumpkins or something? Or is that like a Bible verse that's smashing pumpkins?

SPEAKER_01

It's a Bible verse first. Is it a Bible verse or just something Christians say that they think is in the Bible?

SPEAKER_03

Unknowable. Unless you want to read the most sell the most popular book of all time.

SPEAKER_02

I'm good. You know I don't read.

SPEAKER_03

Alright, tries to rinse her off, she's panicking, she quickly takes a giant swig of this of this vial, of the key, he makes her pork of blood. Yeah, but like the whole time I'm like, she's got all this blood in her mouth. But like he's he wants to tell her that despite everything, he wants to take she is the new demon knight. He wants to take her down, impress everybody, and maybe marry her. Blah blah blah. There's a a dance, a literal dance. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, literal dance. She it all ends with her spitting the blood into his face and crazy, like screaming, fire, skeleton wing thing, boom, explosion.

SPEAKER_01

Explodes. Oh, they tried to kill him with the air. Remember when he got the arrow in the eye? He's like, you know, that only works. Oh, yeah, when she stabs him with the kid, that only works on lower demons.

SPEAKER_03

Lower level demons, right? We get we get to see his big old fire penis come out, his big old leg penis come on. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Damn boy. Damn boy. Poor unhinged Billy Zane. So funny. So funny. Okay, real quick. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_01

Cleanliness is next to godliness is not in the Bible.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, it is. It's a probic episode. It's not in the Bible.

SPEAKER_01

According to Google AI, which is now the gatekeeper.

SPEAKER_03

Still salty, huh?

SPEAKER_01

Right.

SPEAKER_03

Alright. So yeah, basically that sets up the rest of Geraline's life will be outrunning these collectors. We she gets on a bus, says, wait, I need to do something real quick, puts protects the in the doorway into the bus. Was that Bubba from Forrest Cup?

SPEAKER_01

No. Was it?

SPEAKER_02

Did they maybe sure who this guy is supposed to be?

SPEAKER_01

Yes.

SPEAKER_02

I'm thinking that so the guy who says I'm gonna catch the next bus.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, he's another collector. The replacement because she killed the other collector. And I was confused for a long time watching the movies. Like the these demons that come up from wherever they come up from, when she when when they you know put out their eyes, are they destroyed or are they just sent back? And I think they're destroyed. And when they destroyed Billy Zane, their souls are freed. His replacement. Well, no, those guys, but I mean Billy Zane's a demon, so a higher level demon. So he's just energy in the universe now, in the cosmos. And this is his replacement. You know, he's the new hire to replace Billy. He's gonna now he's the guy that has to chase down the key holder.

SPEAKER_03

Yep, so so we see that. That's a fun little ending. He that guy walks away whistling the Tales from the Crypt song, brings us back to the grand premiere of the shitty movie that John Laird's in, I guess. But he's walking the red carpet, and then I guess the the there's one more cut to do, chops the crypt keeper's head off and roll credits. Just you know, cheesy ending, but like all in all, this was a if we take off the beginning part and the end part, this fits like it's probably a 70-minute movie, right?

SPEAKER_01

Like a 70-75-minute movie, yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, so I mean it's it's like an extended, maybe maybe 20 minutes longer than one of the episodes would be.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

I can't remember, Charlie. Do you remember if there were two stories per episode? Or did it I don't remember? I don't either.

SPEAKER_01

It's like I I think it was just one and it was an hour long on HBO.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, I think that's a good one. I remember like Terry Hatcher was in a good one. I remember there were some some great episodes in that, and if this this spot ever goes long enough to start you know incorporating TV shows and stuff, then you know we'll we'll talk about that more. But impossible.

SPEAKER_01

We'll never get to the movies.

SPEAKER_03

Well, we're we're mostly through them, right? There's no more out there.

SPEAKER_01

What are you talking about?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. There was a I think they tried to redo this with something called Body Bags. John Carpenter, but it's like three. It's three shorts that now is called is a movie called Body Bags, but I think they made three shorts to be like a rival to Tales from the Crypt, and it never took off. And so they're like, well, put these three things together and sell it as a movie. That's what they did.

SPEAKER_03

That's not what's not terrible, no. Yeah. Let's talk a few categories real quick.

SPEAKER_00

Okay.

SPEAKER_03

What is the best kill?

SPEAKER_02

I think it's the I think it's the cop, the hand the fist through the head. Oh. Yeah. That was the most unexpected, like, because you don't know you don't know Billy's Ain't power yet. You don't know what he's capable of. And when he punches the cop in the arm, just he's elbow deep in his fucking head. Yeah. It's the fucking shit.

SPEAKER_01

I mean, that's Roach's death kill was the most rewarding. Like that motherfucker should have died a long time ago. But I agree. The punch through the through the mouth, out the back of his head, and then he gets stuck. He just has to rip his head.

SPEAKER_03

It's like physical comedy at that point.

SPEAKER_01

And then he throws it at Breaker, goes, heads up, throws it at him.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, the uh I agree, punching the uh sheriff or the cop through the head, yes, set the tone, and we're like, what am I about to watch, right? Um so Roach, it kind of cut away a little bit. Yeah, we knew what he was gonna get torn away, but they didn't do a whole Romero type thing on it.

SPEAKER_01

There was like, I mean, he was attacked by like four or five of them. There was blood spurting everywhere, lots of screaming, very rewarding, dumbass.

SPEAKER_03

Irene, we didn't see uh Irene and the other cop, we just saw the explosion. We did see her arm get ripped off, though. Not a kill. And if if you want to count Breaker dying from the kid, that was a cool kill, too. The kid, you know, opening up and becoming this like thing monster.

SPEAKER_01

Sticking his tongue in his open chest.

SPEAKER_03

Alright, so let's segue into Gore Score.

SPEAKER_01

Pretty high for me.

SPEAKER_03

It's I mean, a punch through a head, we've got like wounds being licked, we've got arms being ripped off, blood birding. I think, I mean, at least a seven, and probably an eight.

SPEAKER_01

I think I'm thinking eight.

SPEAKER_03

And we get Willie's head chopped off, and like there's a head smashed on a thing.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, it's just a lot of it though, it's a lot of green blood, it's not like I don't count that guts.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, I don't count the the demons really, but I mean that's goo, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

When that kid monster stuck his tongue into his open chest wound that he like clawed open and stuck his hand in, and then stuck his yeah, that's at least an eight for me.

SPEAKER_02

I think I'm at seven, but okay.

SPEAKER_01

Let's be okay.

SPEAKER_03

So we'll call the seven point six six repeating.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. Or you so that means you've given an eight as well.

SPEAKER_03

I'm giving it an eight because I think even Cordelia got to get her head blown off. What was what happened to Cordelia?

SPEAKER_01

I think they shotgunned her head.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Yeah. Good stuff. Good kills in this one. Dumbest character. Roach.

SPEAKER_01

Roach. Without a doubt. The guy that makes the deal with the double or the bad guy or the monster. I guess. Dumbass.

SPEAKER_03

But if you were like thinking like if you gave him all an IQ score, I bet that cop.

SPEAKER_01

But it's not about IQ score.

SPEAKER_03

It's about who who makes the guess. Alright, fair enough. Mike, you're also Roach. Roach all the way. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Definitely. Roach.

SPEAKER_03

Alright. Going all over the place. Would you survive this?

SPEAKER_01

Uh yeah, because I would have put a bullet in Roach's chest early. I'd be like, come on, guys. I mean, like, he's obviously gonna sell us out later. Right. And I'd be like, look, we're all staying together. Daylight is all we're waiting for. Everything's sealed up. If anybody walks off, I'd snag them by the shoulder, pull them back, and like, don't. Bro, look away.

SPEAKER_03

You shit in the corner. It's fine, man.

SPEAKER_01

Right. I'll put a holder blanket up in front of you. Okay. Daylight comes and we're on our own. Fuck y'all.

SPEAKER_03

Worst food you've ever seen in a horror movie? I mean, it's pretty bad, but what is that? What's that like just like I mean, if the movie would have been like an hour longer, we would have seen William Sadler like shifting his brains out in the corner.

SPEAKER_01

Oh yeah. Somebody would somebody would have jerked off or something. What? That would have been the cutscene leading up to Uncle Willie's scene.

SPEAKER_02

Slick Willie.

SPEAKER_03

Like from beyond when they see the guy in the room. Alright. Let's talk about. Am I missing any categories, Mike? I don't have the agenda, but we can do Hall of Fame stuff.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, body count and Hall of Fame.

SPEAKER_03

Body count. All right, let's let's do the body count real quick. I'll look it up at the same time real quick.

SPEAKER_02

Seven.

SPEAKER_03

I mean seven.

SPEAKER_02

If you don't count the demons, you don't count the demons. No. What about well? There's the two cops. There's six of them that work there. There's Billy Zane. There's Gerolyn gets away.

SPEAKER_01

Do we count Zane? I think you have to count him. Okay. What's the I'm I'm saying seven.

SPEAKER_02

I'll say nine. I feel like you're probably right in seven, and I always feel like I'm like there's always probably two people I forget, so I'm gonna say nine.

SPEAKER_01

I'm always under.

SPEAKER_03

I'm gonna do anything that's not counted as like just random demon. Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

So Tupper, face punched out. Bob face singed. Which one's Bob?

SPEAKER_02

The other cop?

SPEAKER_03

Oh, that's not how he died though, right? He blew up. Yeah, he never blew up.

SPEAKER_01

The post office is Homer.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, Homer's the would have been the guy that made him work minimum wage job, right? Does that count? Because that's the kid's dad. Does that count as a new person? Oh, that's right.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. No, they were killed to become demons. And the mom? Yeah. I think that counts.

SPEAKER_03

So what's the what's the real number? Up to eight. Nine, Danny's the kid, right? Danny, breaker, breaker, ten, and then if we count the collector, it looks like eleven. They count 23 demons or 23 total kills. 12 men, 3 women, and 8 demons of unknown genders, but they've double counted people. They said like zombie. They said zombie Willy, and I'm like, nah, come on, man. That's not.

SPEAKER_01

No, it's Willie. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Like in when we did From Beyond, it listed like Dr. Pretorius, and then it listed like Mega Dr. Pretorius. Mega Jason. And then it listed like monster super mega Dr. Pretorius. I'm like, all right, he died once. Like Pretorius died.

SPEAKER_03

If if you like this movie, I do recommend that you check out Bordello Blood. It's another over the top with nudity and this type of just action and fun. It's another Tales from the Crypto film. And I think that's the only other one they did. I think so.

SPEAKER_01

So what about bad guy and hero?

SPEAKER_03

Okay, let's go with Hall of Fame categories. Is there okay? Let's start with female protagonist. Geraldine, Geraline is a to me, it's worth mentioning.

SPEAKER_01

I don't know.

SPEAKER_03

She's a strong female character that that actively kicks the shit out of a demon, spits blood in his face. Very useful the whole movie. I don't think enough people have seen it. That's that's what we're gonna have to you know kind of flush out one of these times. It's like, it doesn't matter if it's like just a super high movie on our pick. Does that give it more points than this is our podcast? Yeah, yeah, we we're gonna I would like to keep her on a maybe not the shortest of short lists, but if it grows a little bit, yeah, to consider her as a final girl slash female protagonist, is Breaker. A good performance.

SPEAKER_01

If you want to put her on the list, then you gotta put him on the list, or you gotta have neither of them on the list. It's a good point.

SPEAKER_02

He doesn't make it till the end.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. But I mean he he sacrifices.

SPEAKER_03

It's the best that William Sadley. It's the most enjoyable I've seen William Sadley in the movie. And that's gotta count for something.

SPEAKER_01

More than VFW? Come on, man.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, alright, alright. I feel like you don't want to ruin, you don't want to put the bar too high for Mike on this VFW movie that he's gonna watch with it. Alright, so maybe maybe it's a not yet. Maybe it's not yet. No. I'll bring it up each year. Each year I'll bring it up and we'll we'll debate it. Alright. How about Immortal Villains Um, the collector? Did he do enough? He stole this movie. Like this is Billy Zayn's movie, right? It's a thousand percent.

SPEAKER_02

I I think if we're putting about Jarrell in on a short list, he's on a short list too. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

If there aren't any lists, he's on the list.

SPEAKER_02

It's a good performance. Yeah. And he's versatile, he's doing different things to different people. He's uh you know, in your head thinking your dreams come true one minute and then killing you the next. I mean you can say there's a small itty bitty Freddy element to it.

SPEAKER_03

Love it, yeah. He's like in that whole like playing with you and and quips and stuff.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, put him on the list.

SPEAKER_03

Put him on the list. Is the key, is the key a prop?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, the the key's definitely a prop.

SPEAKER_03

Recognizable enough? Yep. You put it on the table, you're gonna be like, oh, that's Demon Knight.

SPEAKER_01

Yep, 100%.

unknown

Okay.

SPEAKER_03

Any other props? How about that soup?

unknown

No.

SPEAKER_01

No, not the soup.

SPEAKER_03

The Tales from the Crip magazine. Oh, yeah. What about the magazine? That one actually if it was open to like a certain page where it's like we knew No, I mean you just put it out there.

SPEAKER_01

I mean, it was a real comic book.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

So I mean. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

What about Willie's head?

SPEAKER_01

Nah. It could be anybody's head.

SPEAKER_03

Okay. Would the key need to have the box, the carrying case for the key? Is that a joint thing?

SPEAKER_01

Okay. Not necessarily. It'd be cool if it came with the box. It'd be a lot cooler if it is. Not necessary. Record a lot of non-horror movies on our horror movie podcast.

SPEAKER_03

Director, I'm gonna jump past it because this director really didn't direct many movies and definitely didn't get too far into horror films. So nothing there. Hmm. Did we get your opinion to go up, Mike, or down after we reviewed this? Oh, remembering all the hilarity. Oh, it's a 10? You said 10.

SPEAKER_02

No, I I it is it is it's a Billy Zane piece, though. I love I loved his performance. It was great. 100%. And I I wish he would do more things. I don't know. I feel like uh I just haven't seen him in much. It's like Zoolander and Titanic, and you know, now this.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

I mean, sure, I know he's done a shitload of other stuff.

SPEAKER_01

I just right, he's still working, he's doing a lot of stuff, but I feel like he's one of those guys that just never found he's a good actor, he's pretty. He just never found the right vehicle to make him a star. He tried not for lack of trying.

SPEAKER_03

Right, he tried the superhero thing, too. He tried the phantom thing, just the wrong one to do, right? That was a bad movie. Yeah, yeah. Was he course corrected? You know that bad guy in the first in the first Jumanji movie? What's his name?

SPEAKER_01

Anyone guy? Uh not the first Jumanji.

SPEAKER_03

I mean the first new Jumanji one. The first new one. What's his name? Card Cardeval or Bobby something or other?

SPEAKER_02

Bobby Canaval?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, I think I feel I feel like he kind of stole all of Billy Zane's roles later.

SPEAKER_02

Later, but later.

SPEAKER_03

Is there anybody else that could have done the would would Jim Carrey, for example, have been a better different, but I don't think it would have been better. Unimpeachable to have this movie.

SPEAKER_01

Like I mean, the whole movie could be recast and redone. Right, sure. Sure. I mean Billy Zane Zane is a star of that movie.

SPEAKER_02

I think it's important that Billy Zane is good looking in this movie, that like to play the different roles that he has to play and you know be able to trick the people that he does a certain way. I think it's important that you know it's someone that has like a look that you could hypnotize somebody with. And also and the charm, and also the way to and the way he manipulates with that. And then, but also can you know dance a jig outside a window and you know, just be like, you guys are fucking crazy, and just and then just be angry and dark, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Nice one one thing, one last thing I want to bring up about uh the crew. Someone below the line, but I always uh appreciate when I see his name come up is for the soundtrack, for the score, for the music is Michael Kamen. There's only a few names when you talk about like music and score that you know you're in good hands, like John Williams, Han Zimmer, Trent Reznor. Like when you see those names come up when they say Basil Polidorus.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, Conan Basil Polidorus did the Conan the Barbarian soundtrack.

SPEAKER_02

But when you see like John Williams and Hans Zimmer, you're like, fuck yeah, this score, this music is gonna be great choices. And Michael came in as one of those two. He did the music and score in Die Hard, Lethal Weapon, X-Men, Last Action Hero, oh yeah, Last Boy Scout, Event Horizon, which we just did.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_02

Wow.

SPEAKER_03

Look at our worlds coming together, yeah. Slept on category.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I mean when you combine like rock with action and an orchestra, like he was the guy for that. And so, you know, when you see his name pop up, it's like, yeah, you're gonna get some good shit.

SPEAKER_03

I hate to tell you this, Mike, but that made you lose your wild card for the for the day. When you pull in card you, okay. When you pull in the score person, when you pull in the Billy Kamen or William Kamen or what's his name? Michael Kamen. Michael Kamen, Michael. When you pull that out of your butt, you know, then you don't get to be the wild card.

SPEAKER_02

It's not pulling it out your butt if you know who if you recognize the name. Oh, I guess you read the credits. I guess that's Charlie Wild. I read the credits. Like when they showed the producers, I'm like Zemeckis, Joel Silver? Holy shit, this would be great.

SPEAKER_03

I saw a tagline we didn't cover the tagline when they're dead, they're not dead. What are we talking about?

SPEAKER_02

The one on the poster says uh ready for your dead time story. Nice.

SPEAKER_03

That is that is, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. I already talked about some of the early contributors to the show. Yeah, Mike's gonna go binge watch all the seasons on AMC Plus, I think.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, don't see that password from you whenever you're you're skip to them now.

SPEAKER_03

You're cutting out. Yeah, just give too much. There'd be thousands of people with that password because that's how many downloads we get.

SPEAKER_01

Your new bill is seven hundred and thirty-six thousand dollars.

SPEAKER_03

You know how many emails I would get? Do you allow this access? Five.

SPEAKER_01

Five is what I'm guessing.

SPEAKER_02

Sign up on our Patreon to get Justin's other password.

SPEAKER_03

It's about between somewhere between 18 and 7 million people would request it, okay?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

All right, so recapping this thing, so much fun. Live fondly. I think till I was 15 or 14 when I saw this. So too young for the you know the sex part. Right.

SPEAKER_00

Right, wait.

SPEAKER_03

But but for some reason it resonated with me. I don't know. I wonder you guys. Yeah, I don't know either. I can't quite put my fingers on it. But anyway. So you guys agree, except for Mike. Mike said it's a two. Oh, you did like a four or a five. I know. I'm just I'm just making him defend him stuff. All right, so I think the next pick is gonna be Mike if he's ready. Is it my pick? I I do have a pick. We're doing that. Okay, so so this is actually going to drop after this one, after the one you're thinking of, Charlie. Yeah. So this is a banky one. Gotcha.

SPEAKER_02

Thanks.

SPEAKER_03

So I think you, Mike.

SPEAKER_02

I do have a pick ready to go if you'll allow it.

SPEAKER_03

Um is a butterfly effect.

SPEAKER_02

Is that why it's not butterfly effect, but it's it it's more satire than it is horror. And there's elements of horror in it. They talk about horror in it.

SPEAKER_03

You already did American Psycho.

SPEAKER_02

No, it's not that. Oh, but it's it's satire, it's comedy, it's hilarious, it's Baltimore, Maryland, through and through. It's we just celebrated John Waters' 80th birthday a few weeks ago. So my pick is gonna be serial mom. Nice. I don't know if I've seen that one.

SPEAKER_03

I haven't seen it in so long.

SPEAKER_02

I think, Charlie, I think you're gonna love it. Is it as good as pieces? Uh better than pieces.

SPEAKER_01

Uh, all right, I'm in. It's good.

SPEAKER_03

Awesome. So, thank you guys for doing this on such a short notice. As Mike mentioned, I said, Hey, can you guys knock out this 90-minute movie in a day and a half? And they said, We'll try. And they did it.

SPEAKER_01

I finished the movie just before we started.

SPEAKER_03

We actually heard the credits running when the podcast started. He was like just finishing it up.

SPEAKER_02

I was about to go to bed, and you're like, Can you watch this real quick?

SPEAKER_03

And you hey, you know what? You know what the beauty of that is? You guys could have been like, nah, we can't do it. You it would have been fine. I wouldn't have been, my hurt feelings wouldn't have been hurt. What else am I going to do? The show must go on, though, guys. The show must go on. Speaking of the show, uh, we appreciate all the people listening. After hearing before this one, we you should have listened to our first fan-dedicated episode, which is what again? Heretic.

SPEAKER_01

Heretic.

SPEAKER_03

With the always charming Hugh Grant. Maybe not the most charming role he's ever done, but it's a great role for him. As always, I'm gonna try to butcher what Mike likes to put so elegantly. If you like our show, if you like this episode, which was all over the place because the lack of prep that I allowed for everyone to have, like and follow. Make sure to like so that you get those automatically downloaded or automatically queued up for you to listen to in the morning that they drop. We appreciate everybody listening. Tell your friends about it so we can uh just go viral, if you will. Yeah, mom's viral. Yeah. She took a shot, man. Anyway, anyway, so what else we got, Mike? Where are we where can you find us? You you've got those memorized pretty well.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, that's it. Just uh look for us on Instagram at all got SogoriPod. Like and I mean uh rate and review wherever you you listen to your podcasts at. Check out, drop us some fan mail in the link in all of our show notes if you got a movie request or something you want us to talk about. You know, or something hilarious Billy Zane did in this movie that we didn't mention.

SPEAKER_03

Oh yeah. So much stuff we didn't get to mention in it, but yeah. So Charlie, you got any extra stuff to say before we bounce out of here?

SPEAKER_01

I got nothing.

SPEAKER_03

Smash that like button.

SPEAKER_01

Smash it. Like Fergie.

SPEAKER_03

Uh, you know what after after butchering it. Let's let's let Mike tell Andy to take us out of here.

SPEAKER_02

All right. This is the All Guts podcast. This was Tales from the Crypt presents Demon Knight. I am Mike for Justin and Charlie. All Andy. Andy, take us home.

SPEAKER_03

This is friend.