Open Love, Boundaries & Lust: Exploring Love Beyond Monogamy | Lyrically Uncensored Ep. 1

What does it really mean to love outside the lines of monogamy? 
Can open relationships work?

Welcome to the very first episode of Lyrically Uncensored! In this episode, we dive deep into relationships, personal boundaries, and what it looks like to form your own rules in love. From "having your cake and eating it too," to polyamory, and exploring whether lust is truly a bad thing, we unpack the messy, beautiful, and liberating sides of non-traditional love. 

Topics we cover:
- Redefining love beyond monogamy
- Setting and respecting personal boundaries
- The role of lust in healthy relationships
- How to create your own rules in love & partnership
- Can open relationships actually work?

Artists & Songs in this episode:
- Trey Songz - Cake
- Capella Grey - Beachester
- Jay-z & Kanye West - No Church in the Wild 

If your ever questioned the limits of traditional love - or wondered how to make space for freedom and commitment - this conversation is for you.


What are your thoughts on open relationships? Or what lyric stayed with you? (it might make a future episode!) Share in comments - We'd love to hear your perspective.

Don't forget to subscribe so you don't miss future episodes on love, relationships, and real talk.

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Transcript

Intro song (00:19)
Welcome to Lyrically Uncensored, the podcast where song lyrics spark real conversations. I'm your host Tish. And I'm J.

And every episode Tish and I choose lyrics from songs that are relatable to Unpacked. Let's get into it.

Okay, what's the first song that you have for us today? So this episode, I chose

Trey songs. Cake. Cake. OK, I don't think I ever heard that song. So as you know, Trey is very. Very what? Lusty. Is he? He's a Sagittarius. We're all lusty. So let me just read the lyrics to you so they can get, know.

an idea of what I'm saying and we'll talk about it. So in the lyric that I pulled out of it, was, baby, this might sound rude. I'm taken, but I want you. I don't want to play by the book, no rules. They say you can't have cake and eat it too. But ain't that what you're supposed to do? Is that what you're supposed to do?

I know. mean, if that's the lifestyle you want to live and have your cake and eat it too, why not? I mean, I feel like most people do that at some point in their life. You know, it's OK to be greedy just a little bit. So my question to you is, if he were to present that to you. Who's he? He. Anyone. My husband? Not necessarily.

No, anybody. if they were to present have to think in the form of my husband, because I am married. So I can't just be like anybody, because if anybody approached me, I'm not going to be like, OK. We can't think in the matter. Like, if someone were just to present it to you, how would you feel about, like, they're just being upfront with you? hey, I have somebody, but. Yeah.

Well, first of all, I'd rather people be upfront with me. Like, I'd rather you tell me the truth, don't lie to me, so that way I can form my own decision of what I want to do. So if that's what you want to do and you want to do that with me and I'm okay with that, then why not? Because then you'll be my cake too. Have you ever had anybody present that to you like that? That way? I don't think so. I don't think so. think *** just do what they want to do.

And you find out later. Yeah, I don't know if I've ever had anybody that actually says like, hey, I have a girl, but. Yeah. I'm trying to mean, well, maybe, know, well, if I think back, you know, there was this guy when I was like 19, he lived across the street from one of my friends house. Yeah. And he had a girl. And at that time, I had like just broke up with my boyfriend

And I remember, you know, we both found each other attractive or whatever. And I have never seen him all the times I've been at her house I've never seen him before. I have all the years, but as soon as I broke up with him, you know, with my ex, I started seeing him. So, yeah, he I know he had a girlfriend, but they was like going through some troubles and we were just attracted to each other. We didn't do anything. We just talked a lot and kissed or whatever.

But yeah, that's But did he present it to you like that? Like, well, yeah, he didn't present it to me. just knew. Yeah, I knew. Yeah. And I was like, whatever. I don't care. You know, because I wasn't trying to be in a relationship. We was just like, oh, you're cute. I'm cute. OK, let's kiss. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I guess it's kind of relatable. I haven't had anybody just. I mean, I guess I have. I have had people in relationships definitely, you know, let me know they're.

in a relationship where they are, you know, if I'm down, know, I'm down, they're down. you know, so. As they should, as they should. Wouldn't you like to know So that way, you know, you could form your own, make your own decision on what you want to do. Yeah. Yeah. For the most part, it doesn't always go like that, Of course not. Y'all know that. So, know, you know, that's that's Trey Song's cake. And, you know, if you guys

get a chance to take a listen. maybe you have your own opinion on what you know what it is to you. But yeah, that was my first song. OK, what's the other song you got? So my second song is

Capella Gray. I love Capella Gray. He's a new artist, fairly new. This song is called Baechester. At least that's, you know, at least that's what you think. That's what it's called, you know. And in this song.

He says, me and my favorite eater ain't speaking. When we, ***, we  *** like. His favorite what? Eater. Oh, eater. Yeah. Okay. Eating what? I would have to assume it's his favorite eater. I don't know. Is he eating her or is she eating him? I would assume that. Favorite eater? Me and my favorite Me and my favorite eater. Yeah. Okay. He didn't say me and my favorite dinner. So.

me and my favorite eater ain't speaking when we fuck, *** we  *** like we beefing. So what is ***  like we're beefing? Is that like- Well, there's a lot of people out there that like to *** like  *** really hard when they are upset. Sounds like makeup sex. Yeah, like makeup sex. I don't think I ever had makeup sex because when I'm mad, I'm mad. I don't want see you. I don't want to touch you. I want you to touch me. yeah, I could never.

I don't think I ever had, well, if I did have makeup sex, I wasn't extremely upset. You know what I mean? So you're just faking it? No, I mean, if I was mad on a scale of one to 10, it probably would have been a five. You know what I mean? Like something I probably could get over. But if I'm extremely upset, no. Like leave me alone. I don't know. What? Well, you have sex regardless? If I'm, mean. Regardless of the situation? I can go back to being mad.

I mean, I can go back to being mad. so just for that little moment, you're not mad? because for me, everything has to do with my feelings and my emotions. depends on what level of angry I am. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, if I'm like, sick of you, sick of you, I'm like, But like, if, you know, we were out all night and we had a good time and then you pissed me off and, you know, I had... We'll talk about this tomorrow.

Nah, I'm not like that. No, if I'm mad, I'm mad. Like, I'm fiery. If I'm mad, I'm mad. Yeah. That's ridiculous. I don't agree. Yeah, because I can't have like, because everything for me is emotional. Everything that I do, how I am, you know, is emotional. And I'm not saying emotional, like to the point where

I don't know how to control my feelings or I'm crying all the time. It's just like, you know, an inner emotion that I have. So if I'm not feeling you, I'm not feeling you. And that's it. ⁓ I don't know if it's like that or some people may have makeup sex all the time. I just don't know that that's what I want to do. What?

It's like rough. You're saying like, ⁓ what is the lyric again? Beefing? Yeah. We *** we *** like we beefing. Like that's not. Yeah. Yeah. But he's making it seem like that's what they do all the time. Like that's what they do. And I like she's mad. Yeah. There are some couples or some people that I do that. like to throw shit at each other. Yeah. We're not doing that. Yeah. That's definitely not me. I definitely can't relate to that. Yeah. So.

Yeah. So pretty much, you know, that's my, those are my two for, for this episode. Okay. What do you got? Well, I have one.

So the song that I have today is

No Church In The Wild by J-Z and Kanye. Okay. You know, I love the lyrics, everything that, you know, they say.

But there's one line, one simple line in there that stands out for me when he says, form a new religion, no sins as long as there's permission. So I feel like in every relationship, it's to have their own rules. Basically, he's using the form of religion as the relationship. And when he says there's no sins as long as there's permission, meaning that

they can't be mad at each other because we have permission to go see other people. And I think that's okay if you both agree to do something like that. I feel like every relationship should have their own rules. No one should judge your relationship. They should decide what is it that they wanna do in their relationship.

Religion and society really makes you feel like you have to conform and have to be a certain way. You have to be proper. Things have to be this way. You can't be with more than one person. You always have to be with this person. And I don't agree with that. How do you feel about that? ⁓ I don't know how I feel about that. am so I've never engaged in.

anything that took place with more than one person. It's just, ⁓ so you mean you talk about like threesomes? Yeah, like so, and I don't know that I could do anything like that because I am very territorial. ⁓ yes, I am too. Yeah, I'm very territorial, I'm not jealous, but I'm very, very territorial, like what's mine is mine. Exactly. Yeah. I don't know that. But if I give you permission, because I say you can. So I wouldn't be a part of that religion. I couldn't be because.

I would definitely have a problem. ⁓ know, like, again, like we said, like what's mine is mine. Yeah, because I'm even like that with my friends. Like I'm talking to my friends, you're my friend. Yeah, you could go have other little friends because you get older, you develop friendship with other people, but just know that I'm number one. Yeah. You know, and I know they know. I couldn't be a part of that religion. Not judging anybody that is a part of that religion that is open minded that.

can, you they have that thick skin and they can deal with that. I am just not built for that. I can't share. I'm so sorry. I'm not a sharer. Sharing is not caring for me. Well, OK, so when it comes to polyamory, right? That's what you say, right? Polyamory. Actually, Willow Smith taught me about polyamory. What? Willow Smith. Willow?

Willow. Willow Smith. know, Jada and Will.

Yeah, their child. So she taught me about polyamory. So basically during COVID around that time, I was binge watching Red Talk Table because I really enjoy learning about other people's struggles and the things they go through, because you learn from that. And there was an episode where she did most of the talking and she was talking about polyamory. So I had it all in the living room. My husband was in the kitchen cooking or whatever. And as soon as he heard it, he went,

Like his ears opened up and he was listening. So after we was listening to, you know, the conversation that she was having, the way she had it, she totally explained what it is and what it meant. Yes. Yes. She practiced that. Yes. So she explained exactly what it was. So with her explanation, like it made me understand what it is more, because it's not just about cheating and being with other people and just having sex and stuff. It's much more than that.

Right? So after we heard it, me and him had the conversation about it. And we both agreed that if we would have known ⁓ exactly what it was and what it really meant and how to do it, we probably would have put that in our relationship in the very beginning. Yes. But he also admits that he knows that could never happen now because he fucked up too much, like way too many times, way too many times.

So the trust for that particular thing wouldn't be there and he knows that. But he says that he understands it. And I told him that too, like I understand it as well. Because there are people in your life that, not to say that you're madly in love with them, but you have an attraction to them and it doesn't always have to be sexual. Like sometimes it could be someone that inspires you or someone that...

you know, is very relatable, you have the same things in common and things like that. So it doesn't always need to be about sex. And sometimes you want to spend time with that person. That person might bring out something extra in you that maybe the person that you're with can't do. Not to say he can't do everything, but you know, there's other people out there, you know? So he said he understands that part and I understood it too, But obviously that's not something that we can do.

And I wish that I would have known about that when I was younger because I definitely would have done something like that. That is amazing. ⁓ That's amazing. What's amazing about it? That you guys had that conversation and that's what you guys would have done. Yeah, because- is my married friend and she said, I am single and I'm still not doing it. No, I'm still not. Well, maybe you haven't had anyone else that- I'm not doing it.

But have you never had anyone else that you would, okay, let's say if you was with someone, there was no one else that you had looked at or side-eyed anybody. Because you're not blind. But that would a one-way thing. In order for me to be in a polyamorous relationship, then I would have to agree to him also being Absolutely. And so, Well, for me, yes.

Okay, so let's say if we was to do something like that, right? We're not doing it. But let's say we was to do something like that. I wouldn't want to know that he's doing it. You know, and which will be hard because we obvious were married, we live together, so I think it would be much easier if he was like boyfriend and girlfriend, we didn't live together. So if you went out and went about your business that night or whatever, you just say, okay, I'm going out. I wouldn't know what you're doing, you know, but if you live together, whole point of that is to know.

So because you guys are supposed to Yes. Well, like I said, you can make your own rules, right? You can make your own rules. He should be like- He should what? Like Tish, I'm gonna see- No, I don't wanna know what you're gonna see, because I don't be laying up in the bed thinking about what you doing. You know what I'm doing, because we agreed to this religion. Yes, but I don't need to know the exact moment that you're doing it.

Why? I don't want you out there thinking I'm cheating. I'm going out there to tell I'm territorial at the same time. But I'm telling you what I'm going to go do. No, you don't need So you don't think I'm out here doing it with somebody else. I'm going to do it with my girlfriend. No, it's not a girlfriend. It's not a girlfriend. It's not a girlfriend. What is she? It's just another person that you're interested in. It would be you And like I said, it doesn't always have to be about sex,

So we can come up with our own rules exactly what it is that we wanna do and how we wanna do it, But ⁓ I don't want to know at all.

What? You don't think what? That's gonna work? Well, we're not doing it. I'm just saying. I don't think that it would have worked. Why? Because you don't want to know. But that's fine. So what if you want him for some reason? What if you're calling him or something? Well, obviously he's going to tell me, okay, I'm going out tonight. You know what I mean? But what I'm saying is I don't want to know exactly where he's going. And that's the hard part when you're married. Like I need to know where you are just in case something happens, you know?

If you think about when you're not living with someone and your relationship with someone that you're not living with, it's a little bit different. You're not going to be calling him every single second, where you at, what you doing, or whatever. You're just going to be, okay, I'm out. Okay, have a good time. I'll talk to you tomorrow. And that's about it. When you're married, it's a little different. I know couples. I know a couple that have done things like that. They had a living girlfriend and everything.

They had a living girlfriend, you know, they used to have threesomes and things like that, you know, before they had kids, and it worked well for them. And I did ask her, you don't get jealous or anything like that. And she was like, no, because he's basically in control of the situation. Like you have the thing is you have to trust each other, you know, especially him, because you know how guys be and they be lying. Yes, you have. I mean, women lie, You know, but.

Only men lie. Only men and children. Men and children. Yeah, so you have to be able to trust each other and you have to trust that what he's saying is what it is. so she says that, as long as they're put in their place and they don't overstep like the other person, then she's fine. She said there was a situation where the girl was calling him when she wasn't supposed to be calling him.

like on the side or whatever. And, the thing is he put her in her place and, that was the end of that. But if you have someone that doesn't do that, if you have someone, yeah, because they have, cause they have a different type of lifestyle now. They have kids and things like that. Yeah. This is before family stuff, you know? So, cause there's a lot of factors that play into it too, So, yeah, but she said as long as she, put her in her place and you know, and that was that.

Like it was never any issue or anything like that. So you really have to have big trust. And if you don't have trust in relationship or things has happened in the past that makes you not trust the person 100%, then it's not going to work at all. at all. It's just not going to work for me at all. I don't know. You should have an open mind because you just never know. I mean, you say that now, but you never know. You might meet someone later on, even though know you're single now, but you might meet someone later on.

Positively sure that I'm never gonna do that. And it also comes with the person too. You know what mean? The person have to make you feel comfortable enough and put you first as well. I'm letting you guys know. Please don't ever present that to me. Because the answer is no. It's no today, it's no tomorrow. It was no yesterday. And there's another line that I love in there too when he says love is cursed by monogamy.

You don't believe that? I think love is cursed by monogamy. Yeah. Because I don't feel like you're supposed to just love one person. Because that's not what we're here for. We're here to love everybody. And loving someone doesn't mean having sex, okay? You can love someone and not have sex with them. What kind of person are we loving? Like a best friend? No, a next person.

You don't think so? No, I'm asking you like what the next person is somebody like you're attracted to? Yeah, yeah, someone that you're attracted to. So you're going to be attracted to somebody and not have sex with them? I mean, if it's not possible, like if you live in another state or you're not close to the person, like think of it that way. If we are talking about monogamy, ⁓ wouldn't that be the act of being with one person? Yeah, but why would it be cursed?

So basically if love is cursed by monogamy. And who said that, Kanye, of course. what I take from it is that when he says love is cursed by monogamy, meaning that, you know, like I said, people make you feel like you're only supposed to love one person. And we're here, God set us down here to love everyone. And not to say love them in a.

sexual way, but you can have feelings for more than one person. You know, because let's say you're with one person, right? And you're with them for years and years and years and you love them, you're in love with them and everything and whatever. Y'all break up, then what? You find another person and you fall in love with them, right? I guess so. What you mean you guess so? Would you never been in love? Never. What? Ever.

But you got kids. Does this mean anything? No, but you've been with your children's father for a while. What does that mean? You was never in love? The point is. The point is that you've never been in love. I don't know. Maybe I thought I was in love. OK. OK, I see. doesn't necessarily mean maybe I didn't know. I thought I was. Well, maybe you was in love and then the things that has happened made you fall out in love with him.

What? I don't know. It's possible. That was many moons ago. I was a different age. But what about people after him because you have been with other people? What about the most recent? I've loved people. I just don't know if I was Been deeply in love. What would you consider being deeply in love?

That's a hard one. ⁓ when I was younger and I was doing all these things, know, like I was really going out of my way to do things like, I love him. You know, I just, I would do anything like that for anybody again. Because. Or I haven't done anything like that for anybody. And so I'm like, I don't know if that means I don't, I'm not in love with them or I just.

You have probably experienced that and I just don't want to do Exactly. You probably have your walls up because you don't want to be hurt again because you feel like, yeah, I can understand that because I feel like I am a different person now from when I was when I was younger because of the things that has happened in my relationships. I will say that I don't, I don't wear my heart in my sleep anymore. could basically say that, you know, before it was like, okay, yeah, whatever, not whatever you say, but basically, yeah, I'll do that. I'm gonna do this. Yeah. And now it's like, okay.

You know, so I understand that part but don't allow that to like, you know prevent you from really doing stuff for someone that... me but I'm just trying to figure out how would it be cursed? The monogamy part.

Seriously. How would it be? There's a lot of editing here. ⁓ I'm just trying to see how the love would.

Because you are free to love more than one person. It's that we choose to do that because that's what society tells us that we have to do. We don't have to do anything. This is our life. God gives us free will. We can do whatever. We can create whatever type of life we want to create, you know, and do that. So that's what I feel like he means by that. Like we don't just have to love one person. Yeah, you could probably be faithful to one person.

But to love one person, I don't feel like we should be able to just love one person. cause we're human. If you're only loving one person, it's cause you're choosing just to love one person. I feel like it's probably stifling your feelings. Or you just haven't met somebody else, no one else. That sparks your interest. Maybe you need to get out more. Me? Yes. no, I'm out.

Oh no, I go out. And mingle with the opposite sex a little bit more. What makes you think that I want to do that? I don't know because you're not, you know, maybe not as just lusty as me. Oh no, I'm out. I definitely go out. Yeah. Yeah. All right. So anything else about this? You know, so you definitely won't try polyamory. No.

ever, even if a guy let you feel comfortable with. No, no. OK. So you're just a one man woman person. ⁓ I'm not agreeing to him doing that. OK. It's not for me. OK. I'm not saying I'm agreeing to do it now. I'm just saying if I would have known about this when I was younger, definitely.

Definitely. I probably wouldn't mind an open relationship to a certain point. Like, I'm not saying that it has to be for the rest of our lives, because I don't think that will work for the rest of your lives. But during certain times, especially when you're younger, why not? Because I feel like you do need to explore different relationships and different people to really find out who you are, what you like, what you don't like, you know? Just because I know me. So I know that I wouldn't. So you'll get angry.

I would feel away for sure. that's what I'm saying. I would just feel away. I would definitely feel away. so I don't, don't want to. But you would like your number one. And I don't, I don't know. I guess if that would depends on a person, like if the person, you know, they they're willing to drop like, Hey, I want to do this. You have a date with this other person. And I'm like, I want to do something, you know, and they, they make me feel like number one, just the fact that there is another person. I just.

wouldn't like that. I get it. Yeah. That's all. Yeah. But yeah, I just just just because I know me. That's the only reason why I would feel away. OK. Yeah. So but that was I don't think I've ever I don't think I've ever listened to the song in that way at all. Yeah. There's certain lyrics in there like you really I know you told me you don't like metaphors. She doesn't like metaphors. I'm not a poet. I love metaphors. I love words. Sports. Yeah.

Yeah, so that whole song because there's more lines in there that relates to that too But I feel like this was the most that that stood out for me Yeah, when it came to this topic, I'm gonna go back and listen to it. You need some all of it. Yeah Alright, so what do you think that this playlist was about like this whole

We was a sum up this playlist. This is very, very lusty. Very lusty playlist. mean, I feel like it's okay to have lust and be in lust. You know, I don't think you should lust over people all the time and just a whole bunch of people, but it's okay to like lust, you know, cause that's the beginning for love. Yeah. It gets a little tricky sometimes, you know, people lust over people and they confuse it for love.

Because there's sometimes there's only there's people that's only good for lust to be honest. That's true. You know? ⁓ But yeah, it was a very lusty playlist. ⁓ That's what I got out of it. Okay. Learned some things. Broke it down. What you learned? you learned? ⁓ I learned that I would not be a part of a three-way lusty relationship. And then it doesn't have to just be three, could be four.

Anything more than two is not, is not for me. ⁓ but I can, I can be lusty. I'm not against it. Just want to be lust just with one person, one one person. Yeah. Alrighty.

Well, that's it for this episode of Lyrically Uncensored. Feel free to like and share your thoughts and feelings in the comments. If there's any lyrics that you would like to share with us, just DM us and let us know. And maybe we can put it on our next episode. And until next time, stay uncensored.