Episode 24: Bob

Bob, 59 juggles grandkids, coaching, leadership and his own health. Learn more about how he does it all!

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Hi, everybody, and welcome back to the Niners Podcast. My name is Tim Cunningham, your host, and today you get to meet my friend Bob.

SPEAKER_00 0:06

Welcome, Bob. I do some of that in my coaching and uh consulting speaking. And with that is really to be present and um with your you know present with yourself, you know, practicing better self-care, so you're taking time to get your exercise, your diet, nutrition is okay, all those self-care aspects of your life. Um and professionally to be present with your teams. You know, our our nursing leaders, healthcare leaders, leaders. It's a race to nowhere sort of concept. Um they're always wanting to achieve, and and don't always stay present in the moment long enough to celebrate the successes they do have. So just to slow down a little bit and enjoy where you are and be present. I was on a trip doing a speaking engagement somewhere, and he happened to come over and he was gonna spend the weekend here, and I was flying in the next day, and I could have had Benjamin, he's four years old, and I had Benjamin on the phone. I said, Benjamin, you know what I've been doing since you've been gone? And he goes, What? I said, Well, I've been watching videos on how I can wrestle and beat you. He goes, Really? And I said, Yeah. Well, we let that go. Karen calls me that night, and he's destroyed. He goes, Pops has been watching videos. I haven't been watching any videos. He's gonna he's gonna beat me. So I had they got me back on the phone. I had to talk him down that way, and he comes in and he'll beat me three out of five wrestling matches, but he's learning how to wrestle and and and having a good time with it.

SPEAKER_01 1:38

Good morning, good afternoon, good whatever time it is that you are tuning in. I'm Tim Cunningham, host of the Niners podcast, and I'm thrilled today to be learning from chatting with and actually celebrating on the day of this recording, the birthday of my friend Bob. Bob, welcome. How are you today?

SPEAKER_00 1:56

I'm doing well, thanks, Tim. And it's uh it's an honor to be able to spend uh my birthday breakfast time with you, Tim.

SPEAKER_01 2:02

It's uh it's you know, before we started recording, we were talking about how we're used to seeing each other in real life. We've had a lot of breakfast together, we've worked together, and so to see you virtually on your birthday, I'm sorry I didn't bring you an omelet or an avocado toast to munch on while we chat.

SPEAKER_02 2:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:19

Next time. Next time. Bob, as we jump in, can you tell us how old are you today? So today, no, I'm I'm 59 years old.

SPEAKER_00 2:28

Bob, a little bit of background. Can you tell us where you're from and and where you live now? So yeah, I was um I'm from Texas. I was born in uh Abilene, Texas. So I'm all part of West uh West Texas area. So I was raised in Sweetwater, Texas, small rural um town there. I actually um was part of the medical explorers there and did my first set of compressions as a medical explorer during my high school years while I was in Sweetwater. I think that's somewhat sealed the deal for me to get into healthcare. And then I spent part of my career in uh Arizona, Colorado, and and um so we moved here to Atlanta, Georgia area now about six years ago from Texas. And so I spent most of my growing up years and career in the Southwest. And so now being here in the Southeast, and it's we've we've loved it.

SPEAKER_01 3:18

I think Bob, you and I arrived almost at the same time to Atlanta. I think I came a a month or two after you.

SPEAKER_00 3:24

So we're 2019 and right before COVID. And oh man, you know, when all the crap hit the fan there.

SPEAKER_01 3:29

Yep, right before had we known it was coming. I'm glad we both landed here before I got here. Right, right. I'll say that. And so, Bob, you mentioned compressions, and just for the sake of the audience, you mean chest compressions, like doing CTR. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:41

So yeah, they uh I was working, you know, volunteering as much time as I could as a medical explorer. I was a junior and senior in high school during that time frame. Because I was volunteering my time over a Christmas break in the emergency department. Okay. And a guy came in and acute MI or uh having a heart attack, and the ED physician said, Bobby, that's what they called me back in West Texas. Bobby, you want to do some chest compressions? And I said, sure. And so I'm pulled over a stool and and did uh uh chest compressions on on this guy in the emergency department. Um so yeah, they get they allowed me to you know to be able to practice and learn and and and adapt. And so healthcare, uh, I've always been a part of it in some way, some form or fashion and love it.

SPEAKER_01 4:25

Yeah, and and and and as folks will know if not already, you you're you're quite the nursing name uh when it comes to nurse leaders and learn nurse leaderships nationally. And you've you've had, as I've continued to learn, quite an extraordinary career.

SPEAKER_02 4:38

Thank you. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:39

Yeah. Speaking of that, can you tell us a little more about how you spend your time, whether that's work, that not work, what whatever comes to mind.

SPEAKER_00 4:45

I spend my time right now, currently. Um I'm building the my um business. And so I do DBD or Dr. Bob Dent coaching and consulting, do speaking engagements um around the country, and even working with leaders and others in in uh other countries as well, and so global in that particular part. But I also enjoy my family. So my wife and I, we have um you know five children and five grandchildren, so spending time with them wrestling and playing and trick-or-treating. We just had you know went to on that on Halloween. So a lot of time with family, and because we we love our family, and then a church, and so we're heavily engaged in in our church, and so being involved in church and service. Those are some of the ways that I spend my time outside of just you know all the uh activities. Uh I love sports and exercise and in the great outdoors, but but yes, spending a lot of time I right now on my on my coaching consulting, speaking business, DBD coaching, consulting. So yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:43

And you were mentioning you did did some early morning birthday racquetball with some some guys from your church this morning. And I'm curious, Bob, did you dress up for Halloween? And if so, what did you dress as?

SPEAKER_00 5:53

You know, I um somebody else asked me that question too. So my grandson, he came in, he's four, and he dressed up like a um astronaut. He had his suit on, he had his he had um the propellers or whatever the uh things on the back of his suit. But that wasn't his true, that was a disguise, he said. It was because beyond behind the suit, he was a superhero. And so that was uh it was interesting, his uh his innovation or creativity and imagination in that. That's the next level. I dressed warm in. But I I was able to hold on to him, and occasionally those rocket propellers on the back of his uh superhero suit would go off and and we'd be running down the streets, you know. So it was fun.

SPEAKER_01 6:36

Nice. Well, I'm glad you helped him stay grounded so he could collect the candy before flying off to the next planet. That's right. That's right. Bob, as you think about being 59. Can you tell us a little bit about what excites you the most about moving forward into the next decade?

SPEAKER_00 6:49

Yeah, you know, this next decade, uh, I think there's a lot to be excited for in where we are. There's a lot of stuff to be concerned about. And with I think we'll talk a little bit more about that, perhaps. But um, but there is a lot of things to be able to look forward uh to for me personally and professionally, really defining what you know, purpose over position. So as you uh had perhaps may know, I know you know, but I was uh laid off from my my work uh earlier this year. And so redefining who I am and recognizing about titles and those kinds of things, and so redeveloping that. But when you think about where we are, there's so much innovation, uh, technology, AI, there's a lot of things that you know, we're just on the forefront of a lot of those. I think there's many systems who are developing those even better. But how do they do that and be able to recognize and augment the work that our nursing team do or the rest of the healthcare teams can do? You know, I'm looking forward to as I just did a uh post on LinkedIn just yesterday, and and looking at this past year with my birthday, a year of um reflection and renewal, if you will. Okay. And so I'm, you know, I'm looking forward to this next decade of um being able to do more teaching and mentoring and coaching and being able to support leaders where they are and uh offering my years of experience in this particular space and what I've learned and and how I can help other people be successful in there as well.

SPEAKER_01 8:17

Bob, you you you mentioned leaders and and you know, with your background as a nurse and a nurse leader and and your work with leaders. Are you are you focused only on nurse leaders, or do you are you talking leaders broadly across healthcare?

SPEAKER_00 8:29

No, broadly across healthcare and and others. There's there are other people that are not within healthcare that I coach as well. It's you know, I'm a board-certified coach with the International Coaching Federation, and so there's a group of standards there. I think, you know, my background lens on the healthcare side and the construct of coaching from a professional standpoint, um it transcends those sorts of boundaries and uh find, you know, what and it's about finding the right people. But leadership is leadership and understanding what that is and personal development and growth and being able to advance in that as well.

SPEAKER_01 9:01

Well, speaking of personal development and growth, if you were to look back over the last 10 years, how would you say that you've changed?

SPEAKER_00 9:08

Oh man, I I you know, since you asked me to be on this and thinking about the last decade, uh, there's been a lot that's gone on in the last decade, you know, both personally and professionally. And part of that lends into, you know, where we're headed and how we can be excited about that too. But I would say this last decade, dimming back to 2015 and before that, personally, uh it's been humbling. You know, you know, what I've been able to learn just before 2015, it was 2012, I had my first cardiac event, heart event myself. And um, and so I've had a um coronary artery bypass graph, uh, two graphs, one of those graphs had closed off. I have five stents in place, and and being able to recognize uh that part of it and and understanding, you know, part of that has stemmed in complex PTSD or, you know, uh some trauma perhaps, and or uh an inclusive of uh family genetics. And so really understanding from the health side. I think going in on the same thing, I struggled most of my career and uh and especially from looking back now from 2015 to 2018, I think it was 2018. I I was at a point with suicidal ideation. So I was having chronic suicidal ideation and uh engaged in suicide attempts. And so I'm a suicide to attempt survivor on that. And so I reached out to a colleague, a friend of mine, he was a psychiatrist and and said, I need, I think I need some help here. And um, and so I uh I sought help for the first time probably in 2018, but it wasn't until 2022 that I really reached out for help and to be able to do that. So I think going from surviving to now thriving, uh, recognizing where I've been from both a uh you know, a physical and mental health standpoint, to really practice, you know, self-care practic, you know, self-care kinds of things. So on that front, I've learned a lot and really understanding relationships and how important relationships are. And it's uh grounded me in a lot of different fronts, uh, from uh, you know, from being a, you know, trying to be a better person. Uh can I be a little more kind and and respectful and those kinds of things to being a better professional too in my in my workplace environments and recognize we all have our lived experiences and how to be able to recognize that. That's on the personal front. On the professional front, I've been, you know, as you mentioned earlier, I've had a blessed uh career. The last decade, I you know, I served as the on the board of directors of then the American Organization of Nurse Executives, became the president of uh the American Organization of Nurse Executives, and it was there working with the board of directors and uh the executive leadership team from AONE of nurse executives and the American Hospital Association. We questioned if we were an exclusive or an inclusive organization, and they allowed us to be able to have that sort of questioning. So we went through that process in 2018 and got approval from AONE and AON uh AHA to change the name to the American Organization for Nursing Leadership and uh to recognize our leaders at the front line and uh leaders in different and probably atypical maybe areas of nursing, just to be able to recognize all nurses, and then we created a driving force within at the same time recognizing every nurse a leader. And uh I think we can take that to really working with any discipline to say, you know, everybody's leaders, and how do we lead leaders from that standpoint? So that's a part of it. I've had the opportunity to write three books, uh, one of them in the third edition. I received its second award this year from the American College of Healthcare Executives and was in Chicago to receive that one.

SPEAKER_02 12:45

Congrats.

SPEAKER_00 12:45

Uh so there's been a lot on the professional front uh that um I've been fortunate and blessed to be a part of. Um and the big biggest part of that is just being part of great teams. You know, in um in my former organization, Little Memorial Hospital in Midland, Texas, at that team uh we were able to achieve Pathway to Excellence um a few times and several other awards. You can't get to those without creating a solid foundation and a culture. And so that's what I've written about is you know, building cultures of ownership and healthcare. And then here at uh uh Emory Healthcare, where I just left, uh took uh two hospitals to magnet uh status. And so but again, it's uh you know being parts of great teams.

SPEAKER_01 13:28

And I think about our shared network of people that we know uh in in in and across the healthcare professions and just such extraordinary people.

SPEAKER_00 13:36

Yeah, so I yeah, th this last uh 10 plus years, this last decade has been both humbling and uh rewarding. And so to be able to reflect on that's been good.

SPEAKER_01 13:45

Yeah. Well, Bob, if you could go back to Bob Dent at 49 years old, would there be any advice you would give yourself knowing now what you know?

SPEAKER_00 13:53

Yeah, you know, and I I feel like I do some of that in my coaching and and uh consulting speaking. Uh and with that is really to be present and um you know, with your, you know, present with yourself, you know, practicing better self-care. So you're taking time to get your exercise, your diet, nutrition is okay, all those self-care aspects of of your life. Um, and professionally to be present with your teams. Uh, I think a lot of times, you know, our our nursing leaders, healthcare leaders, leaders, it's a race to nowhere sort of concept. Um, they're always wanting to achieve and and don't always stay present in the moment long enough to celebrate the successes they do have. There's a lot of pressure on people. So you know, to be able to achieve from a balanced scorecard perspective to awards and recognitions, but uh so just to slow down a little bit and and enjoy where you are and be present, I think is uh one of the things that I would say most.

SPEAKER_01 14:50

Slow down and be present. Yeah. A lot of excitement moving forward. You've had so many transitions in your life and and learning experiences. Can you tell us a little bit about as you look forward again? What are some things that concern you?

SPEAKER_00 15:03

Yeah, you know, um, and it's that's important to and I've I've shared a little bit about uh my mental health and struggles and what I've done in practicing better self-care, seeing a therapist. I think uh what concerns me is just the um, you know, the mental health and well-being of leaders. And again, you can probably cross most areas, but um, you know, the more I've been vulnerable and in being an advocate and trying to, you know, to break the stigma, and I feel like there's still a stigma associated with mental health. Um, but um the more I share and been open about my struggles and what I my journey, the more people come out and and reach out to me, either direct message, text message, email, um, whether it's on LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, whatever, and saying, you know, I've never told anybody, but this is what I've been struggling with. And uh I think, you know, trying to be open a little bit more and helping people to be able to navigate that, uh, because there is a lot of support that can be available to our leaders. So that's one thing that I worry about is um is that I think this last month I read a quote, um, it was an interview with uh Dr. Brene Brown and um studied her uh a good part of my career. But she said, you know, our brains are not just wired to be able to handle this much change. And she said people are not okay. And so they'll be able to recognize that what is normal behavior versus maybe abnormal or somebody's just struggling or in crisis, and as leaders, to be able to have that sort of situational awareness, and I think it's gonna take a leaders to a next level or different level to be able to recognize that. We see that in our Gen Z population, you know, they they're more apt to be able to say, you know, I'm struggling, or and being open about that. How do we manage that from a Gen X or Boomer, you know, side where we're all in all the time, and not that they're not, uh it's just different, and and how do we navigate that in um in our uh in our workforce?

SPEAKER_01 17:00

Wow. So and Bob, you've mentioned a couple of times self-care. Uh and and you and I have talked about that extensively, and you know that's been a lot of my work and sort of what got me to a nursing leadership table, self-care, resilience, well-being, and things. Are there any other tactics or practices that you've developed that help you as you as you're concerned about the future?

SPEAKER_00 17:19

Yeah, I think um, you know, one, uh the biggest part for me is disclosing when I'm in distress sooner rather than later. Okay. And uh that uh whether that's um, you know, with my wife or with uh my therapist or somebody, but if I'm in distress to be able to talk through that before rumination really begins and and it drives you uh down that um you know a a darker path. Um but I feel like uh being able to disclose uh much more quicker and having those confidants. And I think the the the research and and evidence uh continue to show too that there's a question about should I be able to commiserate with people, whether it's at work or others. And it depends, right? I think in that depends, meaning, you know, is there something constructive or if I'm able to again disclose that I've had a rough day with some patients or I've had a rough day with a uh colleague or whatever that might be, but to be able to disclose that may help, you know, from a mental health and uh a sense of belonging there too. So, how do we help facilitate that uh from a leadership perspective in our workforce? So that's one, you know, self-disclosure. I think uh I've done more with uh physical health. And so if I feel like I'm getting into distress, if it's you know, I'm not gonna disclose, uh, then being able to get out and and do some walking or biking or go lift some weights or whatever on the physical health. And so practicing some of the uh the physical, emotional, psychological, uh professional kinds of things, uh those are the those are the uh some of the big things.

SPEAKER_01 18:51

Uh looking over the span, so you're 59. So you've been a niner a few times in your life, thinking about other niners that might be listening. Would you have any other advice to share for a different niner group? Uh, what would that group be and what might that advice be?

SPEAKER_00 19:05

That's a that's a really good question.

SPEAKER_01 19:08

And you could go ahead too. We had I interviewed one person who's who is like 39 and they wanted to give advice to an 89-year-old. So it could be any anyone on the niners.

SPEAKER_00 19:17

Yeah. So yeah, you know, I'd I'd probably, you know, look at the um, you know, that 19 to to 29. You know, if I were thinking through that, I mean there the world um the world is your oyster, really. There's so much opportunity to be able to um travel uh and get move. We're not necessarily stuck in one place if we don't need to, but really trying to find that joy and uh that happiness that um that you have, you know, and and that's whether it's gonna be in your work, but also within your relationships to be able to sense that and have that sort of happiness and joy. And if you can if you can do that, then you're gonna be able to go much further with what you're doing. Big question, Bob.

SPEAKER_01 19:59

Can you tell us a little bit about what matters most to you?

SPEAKER_00 20:02

Yes, and so probably goes back to a little bit of what we alluded to earlier, but my faith matters to me most in being a disciple of Jesus Christ and and living my life in in that way, understanding the example that you know he's given us and to be more kind to people, regardless of where who they are or what they've been through, uh to be but be kinder in in that perspective and and learn a lot, to continue to learn a lot as a as a disciple of Christ. Two, I think um, you know, my family. You know, I love my family. My wife and I, again, we have five children, five grandchildren, uh to be able to spend time with them. And um, you know, our you know, our extended family. My wife is uh uh seven of twelve children, and so we've got uh family all over all over the country. But you know, that family time matters and it's the quality and quantity of that. And so I'm really uh spending time with them. Karen and I, we do periodically, we'll do and try to do it almost yearly, but a a grand camp in which we get our grandchildren for several days and we do arts and crafts and games and activities. But it's that quality time that we get to spend uh with our with our grandchildren to to bond with them and to grow. So family is very important. And I think the the last one, and I've always had these sort of things written in my own personal strategic plan, you know, even since I was a kid, I had my own personal strategic plan, but it was always faith, family, and relevance. And I'm my relevance and and part of that is purpose. And so I'm I'm redefining what relevance is in staying purpose driven so I can make a difference in people's lives, uh, whether I'm on the street or on the racquetball court or in the in the boardroom or walking the halls of hospitals or others, you know, what's my purpose and impact and what can I do to be able to coach, mentor, teach, and and others through some of the things that I've done. Not that I know, you know, uh, as a fifty nine year old, I still have a lot to learn. But um but then but to be able to say that I've learned a lot and um I'm a much more humble and being more vulnerable than than I've been in years past. But so that's where I you know I think those are the the kinds of things I would I'd mention there. Thanks so much, Bob.

SPEAKER_01 22:15

Faith, faith, family, and and relevance. I want to learn a little bit more about Grand Camp. Do the grandkids come to you and Karen, or do you go to them, or does a location change? Like what is grand camp like? That sounds amazing.

SPEAKER_00 22:27

Yeah, yeah. So Karen and I, we've um done we've done it in multiple loc different locations. We one year we rented an Airbnb on a lake uh in St. Angelo, Texas, and all the grandkids were brought to us. We took we might have picked up one or two, they were brought to us, and uh we sat out, uh did a lot of swimming and fishing. They caught a lot of sunfish and we did bonfires or not bonfires, but fires and roasted uh schmores and other kinds of things. But again, it's a lot of you know fun and activities uh for that. Uh we rented another uh Airbnb in Lubbock, Texas, and and there we had a swimming pool in the backyard and fire pit. And so we just had a lot of fun there uh just playing games. Uh there was uh some arcade kinds of things in the in the room as well. And then excuse me. And um this last year we did we we've a couple of times now we've done the Great Wolf Lodge, one in in uh the Dallas Fort Worth area, Grapevine, I believe. And then we did one that was um here not too far from the Atlanta area in Georgia, in which the kids would come in and and we just spend a lot of time out in the in the pool. Uh kids uh you know, they're our all of our grandkids are between the ages of three and ten, but they love water and swimming, and we did generally do it in the summer. It gives them you know an opportunity for Karen and me to be able to have them, but it also gives our our children a little bit of a break too, so they can go and do something in that area if they wanted to. But they don't hang around with us. It's just my wife and I and and our grandkids.

SPEAKER_01 23:58

That's so special. And I I yeah listening to you Bob makes me reflect on trips that my grandfather took me on and and how those memories uh I mean are seared into some of the most joyful experiences that I had as a child. So what a what a gift that you're giving to them. And I'm sure receiving you're probably receiving way more than you're giving with that, but that sounds so great.

SPEAKER_00 24:18

Talking about receiving, I leave grand camp more bruised and sore. So I'm on the receiving end because they they uh they all love to wrestle. And um got uh one grandson that lives not too far from here, and and he's always wanting to wrestle. And then and so it's funny, quick funny story. I was on a trip uh doing a speaking engagement somewhere, and and he happened to come over and he was gonna spend the weekend here, and I was flying in the next day. And uh so I I was had Benjamin, he's four years old, and I had Benjamin on the phone. I said, Benjamin, you know what I've been doing since you've been gone? And he goes, What? And I said, Well, I've been watching videos on how I can wrestle and beat you. He goes, Really? And I said, Yeah, well, we let that go. Karen calls me that night and he's destroyed. He goes, Pops has been watching videos. I haven't been watching any videos. He's gonna, he's gonna beat me. And so I had they got me back on the phone. I had to talk him down from being that way. And he comes in and he'll beat me three out of five wrestling matches, but he's learning how to wrestle and and and having a good time with it. But we we do that. So I yeah, I do leave a little bit sore and uh bruise, but it's well worth it.

SPEAKER_01 25:24

All right. Well, uh, keep keep practicing your racquetball and pickleball games though. So as they get older, you can you can still have a leg up on them when they when they continue to out wrestling. Oh, yeah, no mercy. No mercy, no mercy.

SPEAKER_00 25:35

I told them you get in the racquetball court, no mercy or on the pickleball court or anywhere else. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 25:39

Mercy everywhere but on the court.

SPEAKER_00 25:41

That's it. That's it.

unknown 25:42

Cool.

SPEAKER_01 25:43

On the court, anything goes right there. There we go. Bob, this has been great. Thank you so much. As we wrap up, is there anything else that you would like to share with our audience?

SPEAKER_00 25:50

Uh yeah, no, Tim, I one, I appreciate the the opportunity that you have to bring me and others on the Niners podcast. You, you know, I've always admired your work and and what you stand for and and um and the message that you give around compassion. I'm looking forward to, I know this will be broadcast later, but you're doing a um a session with the the uh association for leadership science and nursing later today. I'll be on that one to be able to listen and learn even more from uh from you on that. But yeah, I think you know, just being able to take care of yourself. And as you take care of yourself, and when I always have this motto, it's um family first. And then when you're in the work setting, wherever you are, then it's people first, safety always. And so whenever you think about family first, and and I always liking family first is taking care of myself and my family. And whenever somebody calls me or is uh any time and during my career and they said they've got something going on at home, I said you know, family first. But then whenever you're in your work setting, people first, you know, it's those relationships. You build trust by being present with your team before the chaos actually happens. And so as you develop that communication relationship management is number one, and then at safety always in a in a healthcare setting or anywhere else, really. Uh, you want to make sure that um you're you're being the best for the people that we're serving. So I think I would leave leave with that.

SPEAKER_01 27:14

We will close with that. Bob, thank you again. Thank you for all you've done and continue to do. Yeah, I uh I do have to give that talk later today where I'm gonna have to wear another bow tie. So I enjoy these interviews because I can show up in my hoodie and my pajama pants. But I'll I'll get dressed up. I'll see you later today. And uh, folks, we will continue to see you over the next two years as we continue to release interviews of niners, people with a nine in their age, nine months pregnant, all the way up to people in their 90s. We're dropping a new episode every day of the month that has a nine, and so we are thrilled to stay connected, to keep learning from one another as we all move forward. Bob, it's been an honor today. Thank you. Thank you, Jim. Folks, thanks for tuning in. And next episode, you're gonna learn from my friend Hillary, who is a very serious clown. Thank you so much for joining, and special thanks to Jen Cornell for creating our intro and outro music. You can learn more about Jen Cornell at JenCello.com. Y'all thanks for joining the Niners podcast, and see you next time.