Gossip Bures

Episode 8: Traveller tradition and girls

• Season 1 • Episode 8

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In this episode, the Gossip Bures chat about the traditional expectations placed on girls and the total freedom enjoyed by the boys. 

SPEAKER_00

Casa Purez!

SPEAKER_01

Casa Purez Right, so girls, so we've had a different number of topics about what age girls should get married and education, but I really want to ask you, what's your family like? What is it for the girls and what is it for the boys like? How strict is it? Like for me, I think it's a tiny bit more stricter for like the girls and it won't be for the boys. What about you, Shannon?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I feel the same man now to be honest because my family is very strict on me, even though I am the oldest, like, but my brother, like my youngest brother, he's 17 and he still has like a say over me. Like my family is very strict. Like there's not certain things that I can do, like Yeah. And what about you, Annabelle? How is your family? I can get a load of free, my brother can have free and get a loader free. And like, are you left go to like concerts and no not that okay okay? Like w I'll I go to the shop my own and I'll I go anywhere, but not different. But they trust you like that. Certain people don't, like they don't, like they really don't and don't believe you like when you say you're such a lot. No like whereas with my family now my family is very, very easy going. Like I'm let like I go to concerts, I can like drive to different parts around like Dublin, every like everywhere like that. Um I'm let drink like stuff like that. Like my family, do you know my family don't really kind of stop me from going places and whereas like with the boys and the girls in my family, there is a bit of a difference, but there's not a lot of a difference. Like whereas me being a girl, I have to be home at a certain time.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Whereas with the boys, like I only have uh one older brother. My older brother's twelve, like he's a he's a small child, like but my older brother, like my older brother can kind of have like go out to what time he wants as long as it's not five or six o'clock in the morning that he's coming back in. Do you know, like certain things like that? But other than that, now my family is like very easy going.

SPEAKER_01

Like for my family, I have five older brothers and I'm two younger. So with like the five older brothers, like they'd be they'd be kind of they'd be weary, but they wouldn't like they all trust me enough, like yeah to to say like oh I'd be allowed go here and there. But obviously they draw the line with some things and all this, but even like certain things, I wouldn't even ask to go to or anything like that. It's just kinda like I already know that I wouldn't be allowed to do that, so I won't even go into a bottle or a basket. 'Cause it there'd just be no point. Like with all my brothers, like um as I'm getting kind of older, they've kind of not got a strict. Yeah, I think it's strict. I think it's about the age to do it.

SPEAKER_02

It is the age, like I'm I'm nearly nineteen, so my my family are more kind of laid back. Like, where's like if I'm going somewhere, I won't like I don't need to tell my family where I'm going. I'll just say I'm go I'm going away, like I'll see you later, love you, like and they won't like be like, Oh, where are you going? Who are you going with? What time of the way? Like they ask you a question like that, no. No, they they wouldn't like to say, Alright, enjoy yourself. Do you need money or do you have money? Like stuff like that. Just wear in like away for it. Like they'll ring in, like maybe about two hours after like I'm gone. Well, are you okay? Everything's like okay, safe. Yeah, yeah. Oh, it's only ringing and writing and all that. Yeah. Like in the winter times I do have to be back a bit earlier, but I understand because of ice and stuff like that, and it's just it's darker, it's darker quick than you know. And it's from dangerous like. Oh yeah, way dangerous. Way more dangerous.

SPEAKER_01

Like I feel like it's because um with traveller girls, a lot of stinks to be kind of thrown on top of them. Like if if they go here, if they go there, who you go and all this, it's kinda like, oh, you can't go there because someone's gonna say something, but it shouldn't really be that way.

SPEAKER_02

Like, yeah, no, I like I don't think like I don't find that now, like in my personal opinion, I don't find it like do you find a girls but like well, not really, because I know like that if I go to a place, I know I'm gonna come home somewhere to get it. Yeah, like I know how to carry your like myself. Yeah, like everybody knows, like you know right from wrong. You're very known right from wrong. So you know, right, well I can't do that because that's wrong. Or well I can do that because that's right, like you know right from wrong. Or you can't do stupid things then. Because if you do like things that's wrong and you know what's wrong, like obviously you have to pay the consequences to get me.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, like you know the consequences behind it. What kind of I mean is like with other kind of girls, what they'll say or what girls maybe it gets different for you when you're older, like but like with me.

SPEAKER_02

With younger girls, I think they're more like horrible. They can be a bit spiteful. Like there's jealousy. Children basically still, do you get me? Yeah, because they're only babies, they're not mature, like whereas like they don't have sense in their brain, like no, it's not even that they don't have sense in the brain, it's just they're not like they're not mature enough, like they're still only babies. Like, whereas we're like we're both 18, nearly 19, so we know like right, well, she she's such a person. She sometimes can be a bit funny, like she can be a bit stubborn, but she's still a nice girl, like do you know what I mean? Whereas younger girls, girls think, oh well, she's this, she's that, and then that's when another little girl is gonna go, Oh well, this one says she's that and she's this. So they're gonna talk about little girls because they're not mature enough to know well. If I'm talking about that little girl, that me saying that could ruin that whole girl's life, like when she gets older. Like, do you know what I mean? Like we've all done it because we've all been young, we've all been stupid. Yeah. But when you grow up and mature up, you're thinking you're younger and you're like, Laz, why did I carry on like that when I was younger? Like you can't do that. You really can't carry on that way towards people like Do you know what I mean? You're like a man like full human, like how did I ever carry on like this around the place? But then like when you're older, you're looking, you're like, it's all the one way for all the little travel girls.

SPEAKER_01

I think that's where the brothers come in as well. That's why they're there to stop you from doing all those stupid things as well. Like, oh yeah, definitely. Like I think that's why it's so different for them. Like, they they can go off and they can do their hunt and they can do whatever they want.

SPEAKER_02

Like, yeah, because the more true a boy, I think a boy is wilder, yes. But a boy have more of a brain when they're younger than a girl doing like a girl is more stupid and naive. Like, do you know what I mean? Like a girl can walk out and she'd be like, Oh god. But it's the truth, like it's probably seen like things stop running games, and when you come back home, you're like, Why did I ever carry on like that? What should I do? Like, why why did I do that? Whereas the boy, you can go out with expense, yes, or the act the act fills, but it's completely to know what a stand up. They know what you stand because they're both don't get in trouble at the end of the day.

SPEAKER_00

But can I interrupt you there as the only boy in the room? And and just let you know that boys are just as stupid.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, but they are, yeah, yeah. Like they know where to stand on, too. Yeah, like they know what they're doing before they do it.

SPEAKER_00

And what they do do you can I just ask a question then? Um, and for anyone listening to this, I have been relegated, I'm no longer the guests. I've been told I've been told to take care of the camera, but I I can't help but feel really interested in your conversation because I think it's an important one. Yeah, but can I ask you then? Do you not think that when you're looking at lads with all the freedom, you think that that's because they're what you said they have more of a brain when they're younger? Or do you think that there's just less pressure on lads and they don't have to worry about it?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, like a boy don't have to worry about, as travellers call it, getting scandalised or their name being put out. Whereas a girl, a girl has to carry that for the rest of her life. Like, whereas a boy, a boy can go out, they can have as many girlfriends as they want, they can be out around the roads till two, three, four o'clock in the morning, do what they like. Well, I won't, I know my brothers never come back in through the gate at five o'clock because they'd be put back out through the gate just as quick as they came in. But that's just my family. They're like, you know, that's disturbing everybody else because we have a yard we've got to be able to do. But is that fair?

SPEAKER_00

Is that fair?

SPEAKER_02

In my opinion, I think it is, because I I personally, myself, what would what would a girl want being out around the roads at four o'clock in the morning? Realistically. What would you be doing in four? Come on.

SPEAKER_00

But what are the boys doing at four o'clock in the morning on the roads?

SPEAKER_02

Carrying on around the roads, driving around and being fools.

SPEAKER_00

Like and why is it okay for lads to be fools around the road?

SPEAKER_02

Because a boy, a boy can come back home and wake up the next morning. Like nothing happened. No, like nothing happened, there's no consequence, there's nothing on Facebook, there's no scandal being given about you. Because he's a boy, a boy don't have a name, a boy can still get married at the end of the day. Whereas a girl, a girl could still go out, have her laugh, have her joke with her friends, go off of your Sunday, go to your concerts, go to your parties, go enjoy your life, but there's a set boundary. Like you can't go out, you can't have 50 boyfriends. Oh god. You couldn't have 50 boyfriends because at the end of the day you want to get married and still have your name.

SPEAKER_00

Like, do you think that boys, young fellas now get you know they're 80, 90? Do you think they got 50 girlfriends?

SPEAKER_02

No, no, no.

SPEAKER_00

Because I think there might be I think there might be a few lies being told there about the old girlfriend.

SPEAKER_02

Oh no, like they could still carry on, like they could still be on the phone, text a load of girls. Oh, you're the only girl in Texas.

unknown

You're the only one.

SPEAKER_00

Why girls do that too? You're the only one of my stepcats.

SPEAKER_02

Oh no, no, if a girl, like, if a girl really says, like, right, well, like, that is the boy that like I really like, I like that boy, but he's the only boy that she's going to ever look at in that way. Whereas a boy at Mike will be like, oh well, I like her. I like her for her looks, I like her for her her hair, or her personality, or how she gets on, or I like her for her teeth, stuff like that. And it takes ten girls, and it's not until why because at the end of the day, he's a boy. But not everybody's like that, no, not everybody. Now I will say that not everybody, not everybody's like that, like because I have a best friend, he's not like that. Like when he's when he's actually texting one girl, he is generally only texting that one girl, and he's committed, like, and like it's good in a way, but it can also be bad in a way, like Do you think that you know the culture should change where girls can enjoy having a boyfriend without having their name blackened? See, it's not that you can't enjoy having a boyfriend, right? Like I'm I'm nearly 19, like I can't say, Oh, I've never had a boyfriend. Because yes, I have had a boyfriend. Not ever gonna deny it. Like you can still have your boyfriend, you can go on your dates, you can go off, you can like enjoy having your boyfriend, but you know right from wrong, cause you're not. Do you know what I mean you're not gonna be out with your boyfriend until like 12 or 1 o'clock in the morning? Do you know what I mean? Like there's a set boundary, like you can get up, you can go off, like off the Sunday, you can fix yourself, you can go off, you can be off together all day long, enjoy yourself, go for food, go off, whatever, but then you can still come home. Do you know what I mean? Like, and in my opinion, like now I know nowadays, like m some of my friends meet their boyfriends, they don't have a third wheeler, but personally myself I'd like to take a third wheeler because even if you and that by finishing the morning, nothing can ever be said about you because you've had your third wheeler.

SPEAKER_00

And is there a real fear of young girls getting a bad name or scandalized? Yeah, I think is that a very real thing? Talk to me about that.

SPEAKER_01

Oh yes. It's like where if you go out with say a boy, like, and you're only 13, 14, 15, and like you're always gonna there's always that's like and anyone finds out, it's gonna be carried with you. Like, if you say if you get an egg with anyone, they're just gonna throw right back in that. Well, sure, you were with this and you were with this. It's always kind of like that. I'll stop you there.

SPEAKER_02

I've had a boyfriend, and I've never ever had that true in my face. Like it's not that it was denied, like everybody knew I had a boyfriend, but that was never true in my face. But you're very lucky it wasn't though, because I know certain girls that it would be, but it's because they obviously didn't carry themselves correctly when they were going with that boy. As long as you carry yourself correct, you'll go on with them.

SPEAKER_00

It's just no so that you're almost putting the blame on the girl for getting scandalized.

SPEAKER_02

No, I'm not like do you know, I'm not putting the blame on the girl because the girl is never like a boy could make up lies, but there's certain things like I've seen it myself with specific some girls, they will say, Oh, he done this, he done that and then when they have their third wheeler, their third wheeler will come out with the truth and it will the lies are always spread faster than the truth.

SPEAKER_01

Oh it is of course you have to remember that's a lot of things. I a boy can spread a lie like that because a boy mixes with everyone up in the middle country. If you bring your friend with ya, it's like I could easily like you could easily bring someone with ya and then they still make up the lies. Like the boy will be believed faster because you're bringing your friend with you. Your friend is obviously going to take your side, like that's what they could say, like anything can be met up, anything at all.

SPEAKER_00

Would you would you like to live in a world where you could date whoever you wanted and not have scandal?

SPEAKER_02

Well not everyone. No, not everybody is like that. Now I will not lie like nothing.

SPEAKER_00

No, but would would would you like a world would you like a world where traveller girls could date who they wanted without ever getting scandalised and date non-travellers as well, because that's another thing. How do the community feel about that?

SPEAKER_02

My family is not uh like against that. Like do you know what I mean? Like, now there's certain I might get a bit hate, there's certain minorities that my family wouldn't like coming back just because of their own opinion. But they wouldn't they wouldn't mind a non-traveller or a traveller. As long as they are good to their daughter and good towards their son, because they're funny on who their sons be as well. As long as they're good to you and don't you go for them, yeah, and you don't mistreat them and they don't mistreat you. You help each other in life, you try build each other, not drag each other down, they don't mind.

SPEAKER_00

How would you feel if uh non-traveller family said uh I don't care who my child dates as long as it's not a traveller?

SPEAKER_01

I think that's true. That's like if if if it was towards travellers, and like a lot of travellers are kind of down now, they don't really care about their girls or the youngsters going off with like they're not traveling.

SPEAKER_02

It wouldn't really be fair, like it's if it's like a traveller saying that it's the same thing. Travellers it's the same way. You can't you cannot hypocrite a non-traveller or you can't do or you can't hypocrite a traveller. A traveller will say the same to their children when they're grown up, or you can't you can't be with a in slang terms, a country person. You can't be with them, you have to be with a traveller and then a non-traveller so now I know some non-travellers, lovely people, best of friends with them, but I know others, they probably won't want them with a traveller. Oh, you can't do it with a traveller, you can't be with a traveller, you can't go with a traveller. So you can hypocrite a non-traveller person out of a settled minority and try right the wrongs of travellers as well, because the travelling community they'll be like, you can't be with a non-traveller, two wrongs don't make a right. Two wrongs do not make a right, so you cannot take a left a left pat and a right pat and put them on the same road.

SPEAKER_00

No, so what's our verdict? Are we saying that you should be allowed to love whoever you want?

SPEAKER_02

Yes, you can't help who you want. Because you cannot help who you love. Like, if you you could meet the person you love, you could walk on the street and you could see them. You might think nothing of it. Two years down the line, that same person you passed on that pat and didn't think nothing of is the person that actually is your soulmate. It's the person you're about to marry. Yeah. Do you know like if it's meant to be it'll be exactly if it's meant to be it would be like I like I always say it, like I live by that. If it's meant to be, it would be. Like, do you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00

What's for you?

SPEAKER_02

One patch. Yeah. My mother always says that. And I like I think like the path you go down in life, you have to you have to take a few wrong turns. Of course your mistakes is just what makes it better for your children. Like you never learn if you don't make mistakes, exactly. But as long as the mistakes are not big, like they're not major. So that's my opinion. Now I I know every other traveller has different opinions. Like my my father and mother would have a different opinion than what I have. My older brothers, well, I only have one older brother, my older brother have completely different opinion than what I would. Like my older brother personally, he's not against non-travellers. He would rather me be with a traveller than be with a non-traveller. Whereas my younger sister says it, she would like to be with a non-traveller over a traveller just because they're more about like, you know, girls going to college, stuff like that, whereas like me personally I don't do a shop, going to cinema and all that. Like I go everywhere. Like I I was never stopped from that, like, you know, like I won't say I was, but then my younger brother, my younger brother's like he grew up in a household where there's no old traveller traditions, like it's very modern. And he came out the most old fashioned boy in the world. You even know that yourself very old fashioned, like, oh you can't do this, you can't do that, you can't go there, you can't do this. And he's a little man, but he's only twelve. So it's it's compared to different worlds.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah, like same household, two different girls. But it also kind of like it's kind of what friends are hanging around with as well. Like, yeah, I know with like the boys, I think it's because when they see other girls doing it, they don't want you to do it. Yeah, because they can they see what girls do, they see what other girls do. Yeah, because they're boys, like they can see what other girls do.

SPEAKER_02

My brother says that they don't want you to end up like that because they know it's like my brother says the same thing to me now, he's 20 in December, and he looks at me, he's like you think just being going there, go and do that. You're fine, you can go do that, you can do this, you can dress however you like, do whatever you want. But there's things there that other girls would be doing that he's like, Oh, you're not dim that. You're not dim that because I know what way traveling girls can be, that you don't know what way traveling girls can be, because they're a boy.

SPEAKER_01

Boys can like sense of yeah, you we really can't put all the blame on the boys because there is some traveling girls. Oh, there's some traveling girls that actually do have a reason. Like they do, like their brothers would have a reason to be strict on them, and so would their parents, like, so it's not entirely like the brothers' fault. I think they just want you to go down the right path. They're trying to guide you in life, yeah. Cause they see what other girls do, and they don't want you to end up like that, or they don't want you to Do you can I ask you a question then?

SPEAKER_00

Once you get to 18 and you're an adult, yeah, should traveler girls be allowed to choose whatever they want to do in life? At what point do you stop have to be listen to what your parents or your brothers are telling you?

SPEAKER_02

No, wait, that's different. My brother doesn't tell me what to do. My brother has never ever controlled me or told me what to do, because in my household the only people who can tell me what to do, well, the only kind of person, because my father not so much, is my mother. What my mother says goes in our home. My father, yes, he can be a funny man, but my father's more easy going than my mother.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

But in my household, it's as long as you're living underneath my roof, you go by my rules. But my mother and father's rules aren't bad. Now I'm 18, I'm nearly 19. There's certain things there on Fab with my parents are away. Old fashion, old fashioned walking out the door, and I get away with, but then there's certain things, there's a boundary I know when my family says no, it means no. Like the thing of staying away from home for the night, that's a no. And I'm 18, I'm nearly 19. But if my family knew who it was and knew there wasn't boys in the house And then the left you say about Yeah, knew there wasn't boys in the house, then and only didn't put in their mind. But personally myself, like I like I wouldn't know what to do with myself if my family didn't have rules. Like I'd be like, I don't care how like it's easy going. Since I've turned 18, oh yes, like there's a lot of things that ruse has been cut off. Like, do you know what I mean? Like like I'm let do what I want, like go where I want, like as long as I'm back at a certain hour.

SPEAKER_01

Are you an older sister? Like, do you have the Ellis girl? Yeah, you'd Ellis girl. I think like even with me, I have two younger sisters as well. Even like what I do around them, I always have to watch because I'm setting an example for them. Because Melissa, my sister, is only ten, and little baby Ella Rose is only four. Yeah. And like even with Ella Rose, she's the smartest little like girl you'd ever get. Like she comes out with things that even if you don't do around her, like she'd be seen on the phone, like you you kinda have to tell her that that's not right, or like she even if she says a curse word, like me and my mother, even me, I'd be like, don't say that to allow that, because she could easily go into like the play school she's in and say that. Yeah, like because she doesn't know right from wrong yet.

SPEAKER_02

Like in our home we don't have babies. Like the youngest of us is nearly 13 and he's a boy. Yeah. My sister, well, she's my baby sister. I say she's my baby sister, but she's not, she's seventeen, she's nearly eighteen. So she's not a baby, she's nearly an adult. She's your baby, but she's still my baby sister, and there's certain things now, even though I'm like not even older than her by a lot, certain things I said, like, what are you doing up for? No, you're not allowed to do that. I was very I'm never allowed to do that. Yeah, I was like, I'm never allowed to us, you're not doing that. Do you know? Whereas my brother, like my younger brother, he's tallered me, so he's taller than me now, so I can't go for the hair and be like, hey, come back. I can't do that anymore. But his boundaries of when I was twelve are much more different than my than when I was twelve.

SPEAKER_01

So like the way your brother says you, you have a younger brother, like and would you like tell him as a boy, would you be like, you you can't do that, or you can't do this. Yes, yeah. You would tell him.

SPEAKER_02

But I would still get laughed in the face. I would say.

SPEAKER_00

So what you're saying is that even though you're older, the girls don't get respected.

SPEAKER_02

But I do get respected. Like he'll laugh, but he will still listen. Like if I tell him no, he'll laugh. But then I would look at him and I'd be very stern. I'd say, Johnny, no, and I will curse on something and he'll be right in and not gonna do a but he is a good child. Like when you say no, he will listen to you. Whereas like with my older brother, I'm not gonna go out and tell my older brother what to do because he's my older brother. Like it's not that like should be that way around like it's not that you wouldn't listen to you, it's just like you know where you saw. Yeah, like I'm very at home, like I'm like the bossy person. Shana will tell you that I have an older brother, but I still try to boss him. Like, you're not doing this, you're not going there. Why are you trying to go there for? Why are you carrying on like that for? And even though he's older than me, like if I sit down and I really say to him, like, look, Philip, like I'm genuinely being deadly serious, like I'm coming to you as like uh more of a friend than a sister, don't do that like a genuinely from the bottom of my heart, and I'll curse him somewhere and say, like a nanny scribe, like from the bottom of my heart and tell me this, like, don't go there and don't carry on like that and don't do this like that. Like he's listening. Yeah, he looked like right. So if you're genuinely saying that, like I will listen. Now sometimes he can pop it off, but if I really do mean it, he will listen, like, do you know what I mean? Like our house, like there's no disrespecting women in our home. There's no such thing as disrespecting a woman because if you disrespect your sisters and your mother, you can't treat a woman correctly. That is the household I was reading in. If you can't treat your sisters and mother correct, why should you think you can go out and try to date somebody else's daughter if you can't treat your women at home correct?

SPEAKER_01

Like I even have an older brother, Michael, and say even if I try to tell him what to do, like he's a fool two heads over me. Like he's two heads over me, and he's only he'd be a year and a few months older than me. Like, even when like say if he's texting a girl, obviously like he's well, like if he texts a girl, I'd be like, okay, don't be doing this, or don't be doing that, because how would you feel if someone did that to me? Yeah. Like in years to come, how would you feel if someone was down the phone and doing that to me or anything like that? Or if I said, Oh, like or if he says oh I'm gonna let her off and all this, I'd always be like, oh, don't do or don't say nothing about her and like that, because you won't like if that was done to any of your sisters, like imagine I I always say something, imagine a rose in 10, 20 years, like and someone said that or did this about her and like that, and he always says he'd never do that to her.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. Like in my household, my mother and my father, like it's very funny. Like he al they always say to my brother, like, you wouldn't like that done to your sisters. You wouldn't like it to done to your own little girls in years to come because you have to wear your own little girls. And you don't want a man mistreating them or carrying on towards them or speaking bad about them trying to put their name out bad. You wouldn't like that done to your children or your sisters, so why would you do it to someone else's hardware? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Or like even my brothers, like we could be best and all this, but my mother in always put them in for the youngers. But yeah, I think that's all for today anyway. Yeah, I think it is. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. No, it's not over.

SPEAKER_00

I was just gonna ask another question. Oh, yes, so when I do this, is just wrap up your question and give it a couple of minutes to stop a second side. Okay. No, but you put on it because you spotted it and you kept going. That was good, that's very, very good. Um I'm I may not have communicated it properly to the what I want.

SPEAKER_01

That was stopped.

SPEAKER_00

So that's stop, but this is I'm just getting your attention to say wrap up that question because I want to ask another one. And I want a clean break, which makes it easier for me to edit. So the question, and we'll finish off on something a bit lighthearted. Um one of you it was you that mentioned about the RDS, about these different meter points. Like that's fascinating. I didn't know that these plastics exist. Yeah. Um, do you want to maybe so I'd ask a question? How do young travellers meet their potential partners nowadays? Yeah? Is that is that a fair question?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, yeah. That's a bit of crazy.

SPEAKER_02

I was just about to say that.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, well, I was gonna say that actually, because you like you're a natural talker. So draw try and drag more time out of the guests. Yeah. Because I'm conscious that Annabelle hasn't spoken a lot and Shan hasn't spoken a lot. And actually, you haven't spoken a huge amount either. So try and yeah, well you have, you've asked side questions, but you you need to kind of find a balance, and that's only true practice, so don't worry. But but you're like me, you're a talker. And and every conversation.

SPEAKER_01

How would I get felt into this conversation though? Yeah, because Martin's gonna ask the question but I'm only 14, so how would I know anything about that?

SPEAKER_00

So so you that's then you say that. You say, Well, I'm only 14, so I'm not I've not started chatting to boys yet or looking for a boyfriend.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_00

Do you know what you can even ask a question?

SPEAKER_01

You're 17. Yeah. Have you ever chatted a boy? No.

SPEAKER_00

Have you got a whole hold up for camera? Hold up for camera. Oh, sorry, yeah. So maybe you can ask the question. You say, look, um anyway I have every secret. But but hang on a second. So so what'd you say, you you you're after having a conversation there now about boys and girls, right? Yeah. So then you can say, well, I'm only four so this is how you started. Well, I'm only 14 girls, so I'm a long way off chatting to boys anyway.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And then you could say, Well, it's all idiot, and then then Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

But then you could say, um Do you know what a bit um where I what was I saying? Oh, something about like say if I was scored, like I bring a boy. Well, you add that out because I meant it looked like I I was saying that I'll go off and meet a boy, bring someone.

SPEAKER_00

That did not come across that way. No, I think not each group didn't come across that way, and I'll probably I'm ca I'm conscious of all these things. I'm conscious of all these things. So if you say something, I'm giving you the opportunity to clear up just like you said a while ago. Some minorities won't be a joke in your home. I gave you the opportunity then to come back and say that you're allowed to love anyone, type of thing. So it doesn't come across like you're being racist. No, I'm not feeling like I have No no I know that, but this is I'm conscious of what you're saying.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, no, I my father is old fashioned way like that.

SPEAKER_00

No, no, I I g I get it, but what I'm saying is that I'm listening to what you say. So if I think that you're saying something that might look bad online, I'm coming with another question so you can clear it up.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

But you said nothing that comes across that way.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

And when I put this on the PC, if it comes across that way in front of me, I'll just cut it out. Alright. So don't worry about it. So do you want to maybe we get someone else to start a conversation about this then?

SPEAKER_02

So you're Anne, do you want to answer? Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Maybe you shouldn't.

SPEAKER_02

Me? I haven't been to most concert like around.

SPEAKER_00

Well maybe you can say that today. Um, you know.

SPEAKER_02

Have you been to a concert before? I have been to console with like a experience like for you. And we have like two more books now. Okay, I have two more books.

SPEAKER_00

So so you get you you you like going to concerts. Um can I ask you? I'd ask the question. Can I ask you girls?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

How do younger travellers meet their potential partners nowadays? As opposed to when I was younger, it was very, very different. And then social media changed everything. But are there any physical meetups? How do you meet?

SPEAKER_02

Like you attach them on the phone, like and then they ask you, will you meet them wherever you want? And well you don't really know. You don't re that doesn't really happen, no. You can meet a person without even knowing them, without even texting them, like and that'd be weird, like no, like I went to concerts and like RDS and stuff like the RDS is kind of every kind of Christmas and like traveling boys and traveling girls go to bed, like you know, and at the concerts, so like you're too young yet. Yeah, only 14 now because I don't want your mom be knocking on my door. Like when you go to the concerts and stuff, there's gonna be little boys there, there's gonna be little girls there. Like, and if if a little like a boy finds you like pretty looking or attractive, he'll approach you. Now there's two different ways this can go. A boy can grab you. Now it's not grab you, grab you, and bring you on, and bring you on. He'll grab you like by your hand or something, he'd be like just walk on, type of a thing, and you'd be like, Oh, what's your name? There's such a thing. Or another little boy can be manner and you walk over, oh like wash your name, like I seen you a second ago, like you're very pretty, or something like that, or your smile stood out or something, and like can I have your Snapchat or can I have your name? Like you don't have to give it to a boy if you don't think of a book. You don't want to, like, if you don't want to, you don't want to, like, end of. Um sometimes any little boy could see you on social media. And then the I grew up. Yeah, and she'd go I'm gonna add her to see if she had me back. And then if you don't add back, I'm often thinking they remove the ads and they renew their ad, you're like renewed ads, so it pops back home again. I don't know if you've ever experienced that. Like, well, I know you're probably because you're still only a child, you know, so you're not destroying like you obviously like have because like you're 17, like you know, and obviously you have I have. But like it's way more different now than like what I was years ago. Like my mummy and daddy met one other because they lived in the same town and he got my mummy's number out of her b her brother's phone. And he rang her phone and she didn't know who it was, because it was me daddy who's like, Oh, it's me, Philip. Like, you know, do you want to get chat and la la on that? Like she might you know whereas nowadays, like, you're not gonna see a boy getting your number out of your brother's that's not gonna happen. That'd be weird, like yeah. Well, my people need a microphone for that. They wouldn't. No.

SPEAKER_01

Do you think like say with like you, Shannon? Do you think that say with social media that that's a better way or do you think like face to face is better?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, it is because you can talk more and you get to per to know the person more.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Because over a text you can be like anything. You can be like the nicest person in the world, and then when you go to meet them, they're like a psychopath. What about literally What about you don't know them and they ask you ask your number? Like, wouldn't that not be weird? No, you don't give out your numbers. But they ask you what old do you and where your family? Yeah, yeah, that's normal. Like No, you can't give out the number straight away. No, I won't lie, I have a fake number memorized. I'm not gonna say it on this for personal reasons. But like if a boy approaches you, it's like, oh what's your number and a and then I'll fake digit. And like if the boy is like, oh, I'm gonna dial it, I'm gonna see it for two rings. It's like someone else on the other hand, you're like, oh like, oh not giving you my real number and like alright, what's your snapchat or something? And then you would like be like, oh well, you're not getting my snapchat, you're not getting anything. Like, we don't know who you are, like no, like a scram, like if you find the little boy attractive, or if you find him nice of how he approached you, yeah, and like he seemed like a genuine nice boy because uh over social media boy could be completely sick in any way. Yeah, be completely sick, could be a catfish. Oh god. Could be a catfish. And he could play you. Whereas in person you know how a boy is feeling, like even if you just if he's approaching the ones, you know, right, well, if this boy is approaching me, like he obviously like wants to know me, yeah, rather than all. She's just a ladder for the crack. Like she's just so social media. But like it's way more different now. Like have you ever texted a boy or anybody back? How old are you? I'm 17 inner 8. I date 18th, January 24th. What?

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Oh my god, no, you almost disappeared. Everyone has different views on it. Yeah, they do. Yeah, they do. She can't get over to the No No like do you have?

SPEAKER_00

We listen, we don't judge.

SPEAKER_02

No, no, I'm not judging, I'm not judging, I'm actually not judging. Do you like do you have boys back or no? No. Would you like to add them back? Would you like if they're nice to you and like they really actually want to get chatting to you, like would you chat back them or would you be because some boys say if you don't chat back to them like you're being ignorant, whatever. No, I want to be in my own, like, like don't get married, like saying with the parents, like I wanna be in my own language. If that's what you want, yeah. Like some guys some guys ignore you, like don't text you back, like what's the point going on with them? Like yeah. Yeah, but say then you won't ever know because you never text them. Do you get like like you have to text if some boys just add a girl for the crack and they ignore because they have no interest in the girl. Do you know what I mean? Like it's just sometimes just What about if the traveller girl likes other girls? There well, I don't I don't see a handle. Like if that's a girl likes a girl, that's their business. That's their business. That's not our business.

SPEAKER_01

That's the that's their personal like And saying about boys as well. You can help who you love. If you like that person. Whoever you love, you love.

SPEAKER_02

You love. Like I'm not being in front of you, didn't go to sleep and wake up all like I like girls. You knew that you like girls, and you knew that you like boys, or you knew that you like people who's transgender or like that. Exactly. That's gonna be not our business. And people I thought I'm gonna judge you on that. Yeah, it's like if that's for me, people I'm gonna judge you unless you try to come on and chat me.

SPEAKER_00

You don't have to worry about that, Lovey. You in all that. So I'm joking, I'm joking, I'm joking, I'm joking, I'm joking. You're gorgeous. No, you're gorgeous. But I'll can can I ask then? So we'll finish we'll finish this up with it with a bit of advice for all the boys out there. Alright. What do you expect from boys and what do they need to learn about girls?

SPEAKER_02

Love Ben. Um what else? See, a white thing's flashy things is all that. You need to cop yourself on and get it in your brains. Having a Rolex on your hand, having a brand new car and flashing cash don't mean a thing. Because you could be riding a girl in a big Mercedes-Benz or an Orline Golf. Yeah, it's nice. But you could be a pink to that girl, you might show her love and care. Like, yeah. Even if come even if you come up with ten euro worth of flowers. That's more meaningful than you know what I mean, or like just randomly out of the blue, like I say I love you, Body, say I love you, see you tomorrow, and you won't say, Yeah, see you tomorrow too. Yeah, just all you really want is like a little bit of tension and to reinforce and all. That's a bit long too. Yeah, like I won't lie now. I'll be a bit effortling to be honest. Efforts and entertainment. Like, yeah, okay, it's understandable. Why you have to get up, we have to go out and work. Of course. You can be on your phone 24-7. But you could give it to me. Or you look are you looking at the trailer seven old days, like looking in the trailer, and no one's deal with you, like he's gone to work. And you don't know what time. Yeah, but that's kind of marginal. That's kind of a good thing. Yeah, that's like own one.

SPEAKER_01

And not also having full control thinking that you own that girl. Like, there's no own another human being. No. You are your own.

SPEAKER_02

I always say it, the only person who owns me is my mummy and daddy and God himself. Because God created me, my mummy and daddy is my mother and father on earth. God's my father above. So nobody ever will control you. Like you have to think of that. Like a boy thinks so control is lovely, he's not. No.

SPEAKER_00

Question then. What an individually, starting from there to there. You're still a bit young, so this question might be up in the air for you. Your ideal traveller fella has arrived in front of you.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

What do you look like? How does he act like? And starting starting off with saying, My what's my ideal ask a question because I'm gonna cut out my voice in this so the audience knows what you're talking about. So, girls, what does your ideal traveller or or lads what does your ideal man look like? So say it to the girls.

SPEAKER_02

So girls, what say it again?

SPEAKER_00

We're talking over each other.

SPEAKER_02

So girls, what does your ideal man look like? I will tell you mine. Now, I like a tall boy, so maybe six foot, six footer. Oh I'm four foot eleven, but a tall boy is nice. Um, I like blue or green eyes. It's just really like that's just nice. Don't like brown, they're very scary. Yeah, all black, all black. And what color eyes do you have? Uh like um blue and grey.

SPEAKER_01

Oh friends.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. Um I like dark hair. I don't like black hair though, I like dark brown. Um or like um blonde brownie colour, darky blonde. Um I like kind of like a slim ability, like really like a healthy fit person. Um he has to be older than me. Has to be. Has to be older than me.

SPEAKER_01

What if someone is that love your life and he's three or younger?

SPEAKER_02

Oh, he's same for you and he's the same age than you and go around 20 years of age to get married. Like he's older, you're only 20 years of age. No. Why? Just they're not mature. Because older people have more maturity, they're more mature and the ha the nose will assumbe when they get to a certain age. Yeah, like I was a little boy, 18, 17, doesn't have personally myself. I'm just gonna a boy who's 20 years old on now, now I'm just saying a boy who is not 24 or 25 years of age, 20 to maybe 22 or 23 is my my age, but that is everybody else's different because in my opinion, I think a boy was more mature and he knows how to treat a woman correctly. And he had more sin, like in his older, like he had more sin in his brain, like what's your idea? What's like what's mine my Viking married I need blue eyes. Oh, sorry to stop you. He has to be on the road and be able to drive. My ear, my ears, the blue eyes, um the blonde hairs. Blonde hair. Yeah. Um fit and what? Fit and like well and make sure he'll more things in his brain. Yeah. Like don't talk stupid, like he's more sensing his brain. Yeah. And then my if he's the same age, my age, I can marry him. Like, would the boy have to be able to drive? Yeah, I got him. Tall, short. I like short. Shorts! Not very small, like he's like my dear, like you know what? It's not all about the he's not really the heart. It's about the heart. Yeah. Not really short. But it's man or whatever you like, like you have short or small. But we don't care about heart. Yeah, exactly. Like, we don't care anyway, so what's the point? It's a man, it's a man, not like a like a girl like. Yeah, true. What about you, Sean? It's a hard one. Um I'm about picking. Oh, I know. I don't know, it's just all about the heart really, and my and the personality. Like, I don't mind if a boy is tall or a little bit like short like not too short, like obviously. Yeah. Yeah. I'm five foot two, but like I like someone a little bit over. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But um What colour eyes, like what colour? I like blue eyes. Yes, I I no, I actually find very dark hair not attractive, that's very attractive. It's very nice.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

But I wouldn't mind a g uh like a boy with blonde hair either. Did you get me? Not really, really blonde hair like a girl girl. No dirty looking blonde. Dirty blonde. Yeah. Um I don't know. No. Red hair runs in my family. Red hair runs in my family on both sides of it. It runs in mine. I have broad sisters. No way! No way they're different. That's I love a brother sensor, but we never have one ginger red hair in our family. We don't have red hair children in our family. I know it runs in both sides very strong. Like my nanny lodge was red hair. So my father's family is red hair. Like in our family, I mean we only have four brothers, right? Like so we have ten sisters all together. In our family, our brothers, like I said, our brothers have blonde hair, uh every colour hair, they have brown hair, every colour, but we never have one red hair in our family. In our in the girls, they have blonde, grey, and every colour hair, they have never have red hair. Your ideal man. I'm your ideal man can't be.

SPEAKER_01

I don't know. Like, I'm only 14, like I don't know. Like, yeah, you're not gonna be thinking. No, I d I I don't maybe like when I'm out, I'll probably think about that kind of stuff, but not now. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02

Like, do you like like not saying you ever do now, but do you ever like? pass by the buy and you're like oh like he's very handsome he's a handsome face anymore like he has really nice eyes or he's like his hair's lovely or he's good looking and all the no no not really no see you're only a baby yeah don't get notions please after no don't please don't you'll be texting and what are you what are you telling my child like I just like when I pass someone I wouldn't like either I won't be looking like the brothers would probably behind me welcome Khaki welcome not like you Al when you'd be looking that bike or walking see if like it's not like I would look at anybody like no you don't know I don't I don't know where but if a little boy like approached me first thing first thing I look at is his teeth say I judge a boy on teeth I like straight teeth I don't like I don't really pass any like if you but as long as they're like clean then like I think a boy's voice a boy have to have a nice voice. Yeah so if it's like not like a no not even proper deep not like a bed no like no it has to be like you have to be well spoken. Like I like a well spoken person very clear voice not like butter butter like that don't mutter be well spoken like speak clear. Yeah didn't I look at the boy's eyes if the boy have an ice eyes that like like you know like I like a taller boy because when they're looking at you like you're just looking at their eyes like you're like oh I'm looking into his soul time when you're really not looking into his soul you think in your own head isn't he just it's a pig or isn't he a comma of a young pig? Yeah he's a pig but his eyes is not oh yeah it's a nice agenda what about you Shannon when you look her by when you're walking where you go approach yeah yeah I wanna like obviously you do like you do like you really do but like you wouldn't really say much about them do you get me? Like I wouldn't go up to her boy and say you're a good look the girls like and you find the boy like that he's a very good looking boy I'd have to give it to his mummy and daddy they have good looking children because sometimes they have other children like the children's all unbelievably even like they have this why do they say it like the parents say oh they're I'm read saying say oh the children's I mean like the I'm you know like just having an unreal family like I'm off for me now you get in the car with the girls like going off on a sudden right and a boy can appro after been approached and you get in the car anyway and you look to girls like girls like what what is our opinion before you even start your car you turn in your scene and you're like this face never this is a girls what is your opinion on what happened today what do we think about like the boy that approached like let's say for instance my friend Shaman no I'm not saying a boy ever did just say it was very innocent for example yeah yeah what do we think the infant approach like you didn't like what do you think about she can say oh like I thought he was like a grand looking boy but I didn't like how he didn't like how he spoke or I didn't like his attitude or the way he was acting with other boys and then he was self no I don't like that like or they acting stupid like yeah yeah a lot shows by a boy if they grab shot if they grab you I think a lot shows that it does just from listening what you're saying today I think just a lot shows like it shows that like if they can't come up and approach you correctly knowing up like can't grab any younger like that's not that's bad manner just yeah in like they could do it to the wrong girl like they could do it to and get in serious short like that girl go like if for me I won't let anything happen to me like for God's sake. I won't let men I won't even my brother boss me like I won't let him touch me like that. Like that's our m that's our body like nobody no man go around and pull a on a young and so eah yeah I know you say that but it's not it's a different one it's different in a moment when it really do happen like but in my opinion I always say it's like yes I've been grabbed more than one time I've been grabbed but I personally think that is a boy that is not a man if a man i if a man is a man doesn't care about age he could be 18 19 20 he grabs you he's a boy he's not a man if a man wants wants to talk to you let alone his age he will approach you nicely and he will try to speak to you ask you your name ask you where you're from try to have a simple conversation oh what are you doing for the rest of the day like what are you watch your watch say cracker more you doing on that shit. Yeah but if you like the conversation you'll probably like give them another try or whatever. Yeah you will add snatch up back or something like you be like alright like oh now adding you first like you add me like you'd be like do you know what we're doing it's a young flap sorry my grand it's a young fly like that's bad manners like grandma younger we don't know who they are like grandma young and then go around yeah you never like like that young would go to the guards like and say oh that young flaw no you wouldn't go to the guard about that they could though like they could look at it a different way like there's different but personally I think if a boy grab you like obviously it's not nice you wouldn't like to be grabbed it is not a nice thing being grabbed but like you're not gonna oh well I'm gonna go to the cars I'm gonna get jail the boy would get jail over some but you wouldn't wish that on anyone like it like for me if they don't yeah if they don't hit like a little girl or like even a non-traum oh yeah you go to cars yeah if it's not settled it's a completely it's a different view we know it's kind of normal for us to get rid of it shouldn't be normal but it's not normal it's not it's not normal like we know that happens it's normalized yeah like that's what it is not normalized and it's bad matters too yeah it's bad matters so when you go to these things you have to be aware of these you have to be prepared right well I think that's all for today anyway um thank you Shannon and thanks Alabama thank you very much Casa Pure