Taming The Tongue - Pastor Eric Skelton

Taming The Tongue looks at the surprising power of our words through Epistle of James. The real issue isn’t just controlling what we say. It’s what’s happening in our hearts. When the Holy Spirit transforms us from the inside out, our words begin to bring life instead of damage.

At The Neighborhood Church, we believe faith is lived out in everyday rhythms of love, grace, and purpose. Learn more and connect with us at https://theneighborhoodchurch.com/

Transcript

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Well, we are in um, believe it or not, we're in week 10 of this series from law to life. It's it's been a journey as we've looked at uh the heart of the law. The law, Old Testament law really reveals God's heart for his people. It's not just about a set list of rules that we follow. And then how the plan of Jesus coming fulfills the law because there's no way that we ever could on our own. And so Jesus comes to fulfill the law. And then we look into the book of James where Jesus' half-brother says, Hey, here's how now the church is going to operate because of the law, Jesus fulfilling the law, and this is how you're gonna operate and work within it with the help of the Holy Spirit. So it's been a beautiful series as we've gone through and we're gonna this Sunday, we're gonna hit kind of some a little bit more heavy stuff as James is talking to the church. So he's talking to us. Uh, and then next week we'll kind of wrap up this whole series, this 11 weeks, as we prepare to enter into holy season. Uh, we'll have Lamoris Crawford with us in a couple of weeks uh as part of the marriage enrichment, and then we're right into Palm Sunday and Easter. Uh, and then we're gonna be kicking off a brand new series after that. But church, I'm excited to uh to continue this, but I'm also kind of excited to wrap it up because this is a long, this is a long series. It's been good though. All right, so here we are, week 10 of this From Law to Life. Um, and I want to kind of set it up for us. Can we do that? Here's like the the setup. You have to have a good setup. Uh anybody have a gym membership? Anyone have a few of you do. Uh anybody actively go like all the time, like you really use it? Those you good, good. That's that's not bad. Um if we look at the economy of gym memberships, of the dieting stuff, of all that, that is a huge economy. That is a huge thing. People spend thousands of dollars on on memberships and and and equipment to tone and to build and to to fix our bodies, right? Um, we worry about our skin and our hair, um what we what we wash ourselves with, the type of toothpaste that we use, um uh all of this stuff. I mean, there's and you walk down the aisles in the stores of like hair care and beauty products, and it's massive. I mean, in all reality, uh there's more products that we put on ourselves than even sometimes that we feed ourselves with, right? But we we worry about the exterior a lot. We worry about our muscles and our health a lot. That's a big economy in our world. But what's really interesting, and James talks about this, there's actually a muscle in our body. It's about two ounces on average. About this this two-ounce muscle in our body that is more dangerous than a loaded firearm. And it's really more influential than even your bank account or your politics. This two-ounce muscle in your body. Now, James, who was, we know, the earthly brother of Jesus, the half-brother of Jesus, he was a man who grew up in a carpenter shop because his dad was a carpenter. He understood how things were built, he understood how things were disassembled and destroyed. He starts chapter three of James, which, if you want to turn in your Bibles, phones, tablets, whatever you want to use, James chapter three, he starts in this passage with a warning. And this should kind of make everybody in leadership. It should make you uh get a, you know, maybe a chill down your spine. But he says this he says, Not many of you should become teachers, for we who teach will be judged with greater strictness. Why do you think he opens up that passage that way? I have a I I think I have a reason. It's because a teacher's primary tool is their tongue. It's their tongue. That's how we speak. James gives us three images in this passage, and I'm just gonna read to you James chapter 3, verses 1 to 12 this morning. Are you ready? Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he's a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check. When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and driven by strong winds, they're steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a word of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course on its life, of its life on fire, and it it itself set on fire by hell. All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers, a fig tree, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt produce fresh water. Salt spring produce fresh water. The word of the Lord this morning. In that passage, James gives us uh three metaphors, three pictures, three images. The bit. Anybody work with horses, been around horses? This small piece of metal. A bit's not a big piece of metal, by the way. It's a small piece of metal. But that little bit can control a 1,200-pound stallion. The can it can tell it which way to turn. Tell it when to stop. That little piece of metal. Big animal, small piece, can control it. Think about a ship. Yesterday we picked our kids up at the airport, and so we drove by the by the port of the Everglades, and there's some there's some large ships out there. Some big boats. They're controlled by a rudder. Some of them have multiple rudders, but they're still controlled by a rudder. Right? These big, massive things controlled by a small rudder. And think about it. If you remember back in the news in 2023, there was a uh a gender reveal pyrotechnic. A small little look, we're gonna send some colors into the air and let you know what we're having as far as a baby goes. That little spark created a forest fire in California that burned 22,000 acres. That's a lot of land, by the way. Little spark, 22,000 acres. Church, I believe that uh our direction is not determined by our intentions. We might intend to be a good person, maybe a godly parent. But if our words are continually this sarcasm or this biting and nagging, then our ship is headed for resentment. We might intend to be a good, faithful friend, but if our tongue is that spark of gossip, we're gonna burn down the very forest that we claim to love. So here's what we're gonna kind of dig in. You might get uncomfortable today. I was uncomfortable as I was writing this. We might get uncomfortable. That's I think it's okay to be uncomfortable a little bit. Would you agree? I don't want you to walk away feeling defeated. Instead, I want you to walk away feeling challenged. All right? James then takes us in this passage and he moves really from direction. The first part of James chapter one and two, before he gets to chapter three, has been kind of some direction. And now he takes us into destruction. Because sometimes we need to tear down before we build back up. Yes? Look at verse 6. He says, the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. That's really kind of polite, nice language, isn't it? That makes you feel warm and happy. No, not at all. James is saying that when we use our tongues to manipulate or to lie or to belittle, we're literally borrowing the fires from hell. This is what he's saying. We're literally taking the fire from hell itself to fuel our conversations. Do you have that picture in your head? The Greek word used in this uh for this fire, this restless that he talks about is uh uh let me get it pronounced it right. Uh is it on there? I don't know if I yeah, it's on there. That word. Akatastaton, maybe. That word. I was having trouble pronouncing it earlier anyway to do. But it says it's unstable, staggering, like a drunkard. That's what he's talking about, this unrestlessness. And it really it means it's it's full of this deadly poison. Let me give you an example. You ever you ever vented to a friend? Like you just had to verbally vomit. Anybody ever do that? You have. Yes, you have. Don't shake your head no. You know where liars go. Have you ever done that? Like you just verbally vomited, and you probably said too much or more, or you shared more than what you should have, but yet there was still kind of that dark, strange satisfaction inside. Been there? That's the poison he's talking about. Or maybe, well, let's let's speak to a different generation. Maybe you've you've been a keyboard warrior and you you've posted that thing that you knew was gonna hit a nerve, you knew that it would sting just right. Right? That's the fire he's talking about. That's exactly what James is talking about. And then he tears us all up in verse nine. He says, with our tongue, with it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the very image of God. Think it just think about your drive to church this morning. Think about your commute in, or maybe your walk-in. Think about maybe the way you spoke to your spouse or your children today. And then ten minutes later, we stand in the sanctuary and we sing praises. James says this is this is really a biological impossibility. We can't do that. It doesn't work that way. He says a grapevine doesn't produce olives. It can't happen. A salt spring cannot produce fresh water. It doesn't work. And so if the water uh coming out of the tap is brown and metallic, we don't blame the faucet, do we? No, we know something is wrong in the well, in the cistern, something's wrong down there. It doesn't just, it's not just here to here, it's something in here. Make sense? You want to know why the church gets such a bad rap in the world today? What are we saying? So remember, this has been Law, Jesus, New Testament Church. This series. So we have to get back to the law. We have to get back and try to understand why. Why does God care so much about our small talk? If you didn't know that, he does, by the way. He cares about everything that comes out of your mouth. And I think it's this. I think because of the law of image bearing, the law of image-bearing. See, in the Old Testament, the law wasn't just about the rules, it wasn't just about rules, it was about reflecting the character of God. So we have to think about the character of God. In Genesis, how did God create? He spoke. He spoke it into existence. Let there be, and there was. Let there be. God's words are creative. And so when we use our words to create chaos, or to tear down, or to bring darkness, I really believe we're committing high treason against the very image of God. Does that make sense? Leviticus chapter 19, verse 16. We love, we love Leviticus, don't we? That's what we read to go to bed at night. Leviticus 19, 16. You shall not go around as a slanderer among your people. It's the heart of the law. We're to love God and to love others, or to love our neighbor as yourself. And I believe what that does is that doesn't just fulfill the law, but it also means to protect God's reputation among those who are yet to believe. Are you following me? If all we walk if all we do is walk around and and just spew junk, we are literally tearing down the image of God. You're awful quiet this morning. That's okay. I was too when I was working through this, and I figured it'd be it might be a little bit heavy. The perfect thing to preach on a day we lose an hour of sleep. That's the law of image bearing. We're called, we're called, we're commanded to hold up the image of our Creator. And really, if if we dig into it, and we're gonna be, if we're gonna be honest, which I think we should be, the law reveals that we are all failures. Nobody got excited over that one? Yeah, that's all right. Because here's to be completely the truth, we just can't keep our mouths shut. Right? We just can't do it. We're kind of like the prophet Isaiah, who when when he finally did see the holiness of God, he didn't cry out about all of his failures or all of his stuff. He just cried out of his out about his mouth. He said, Woe is me, for I am lost, and I am a man of unclean lips. He didn't say about the stuff that he'd been thinking about or different actions, he talked about this. I'm a man of unclean lips. So remember, the law reveals God's heart. The law is there to help us see and understand. The law can convict us. Yes? It gives us that, ooh, uh, uh, that feeling. So then when the law does that, and when we understand that, so then how do we find our way out? How do we find life from law to life in the midst of this if we're all gonna make mistakes and we're just doomed to, you know, ugh. Well, I think Jesus gives us this really neat little diagnostic tool. In Matthew chapter 12, verse 34, he says this for out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. So, according to Jesus, which I think that's one of those pretty good according to's, like we can, we can we can put some investment in that, right? You're gonna get a good get a good return from that investment. If you want to change our speech, I believe we have to stop focusing on your tongue and start start focusing on where your treasures are. If your heart treasures control, listen to this, your tongue is gonna be manipulative. Have you seen it? If your heart treasures approval, your tongue will be prone to lying and exaggeration to make you look better. If your heart treasures comfort, your tongue's gonna be filled with complaining. See, spiritual growth, spiritual growth is not about biting your tongue and holding back. That's not spiritual growth, that's just pain. You're just gonna wake up with a sore tongue and still a heart full of ugh, right? Spiritual growth is not about biting your tongue, spiritual growth is about confession, confessing what's inside. In Isaiah 6, an angel took a coal from the altar. Do you remember this story? An angel takes a coal from the altar, the place of sacrifice. He takes a coal and he touches Isaiah's lips. For a long time, this uh I didn't connect the two in my own life. I didn't connect the two to this. Why did he touch his lips? The angel takes the coal from the place of sacrifice, the altar. Then the holy of holies removes the coal and touches Isaiah's lips. He didn't give him a lecture, he didn't give him a whole cleaning of the exterior of his body. No, he took the coal, the fire, from the altar of sacrifice, and he consumed the fire from his lips that sin. Do you have that picture? In all of history, there's only been one person who perfectly tamed the tongue. See, when Jesus was insulted, he didn't insult in return. He didn't give it back. When he suffered, he didn't threaten others. In fact, on the cross with his very last dying breaths in his body, his throat parched and dry, beaten, bleeding, unrecognizable as a man. His final breaths were not to put down others or to curse his executioners. His final words were to pray for them, Father. Forgive them. Forgive them. They don't know what they're doing. Will you forgive them? His last and final words. Folks, Jesus. Jesus died in that moment for every reckless word that we're ever gonna say. And if we think about it, we've probably said some pretty horrible, awful stuff. He took on the weight and the judgment of our words so that he could give us a new voice, a new vocabulary. This morning, as we uh we're gonna worship in just a minute, but but as we do that, I want you to take an opportunity to just pause where you are. And as you leave this place, I want you to understand you're you're you're carrying a couple of things with you. Whether you recognize it or not, you're carrying a couple of things with you. You're carrying a rudder, something that's gonna turn a big ship. You have that. You have that ability, that power. You're you're carrying this spark. This spark that could, if used the wrong way, could ignite a whole forest fire. And we have a choice this morning. We have a choice this morning, how we're gonna be as believers, as followers of Jesus, how we're gonna be as a church. We have a choice. And so as we learn, it's not a it's not an issue of control over the tongue. It's not about biting the tongue, it's about fixing where the source is. And so I want to encourage you this week, this the coming days, maybe you need it this afternoon. Don't just try to be quiet this week. Instead, ask the Holy Spirit to dwell in your heart and give you an understanding of what comes out. The same way, Isaiah, I am a man of unclean lips. Would you touch? Would you let the fire of sacrifice burn off that chaff of sin? And here's an exercise I'd maybe like you to add. There's a thing that, mine is usually more than three seconds, but but take a three-second pause. Before you just fire back verbally, texting, whatever, before you fire back a response, before you hit send, before you whisper that prayer request that there's really more gossip than anything else. Take a three-second pause, and I want you to ask us just a couple of quick questions. Number one, is it true? Is what am I gonna is that true? Is it kind? And is it necessary? There are a lot of things that we say that that are untrue, that are unkind, and that are unnecessary. But yet we say it with a smile and a sweet voice and maybe a joke, and so we, it's okay. But is it really? And so practice that three-second pause. And then something that I'm gonna strive on doing in my life, and and and if if you want to join me in this journey, that'd be fantastic. I think we're kind of all called to this anyway. Because I want to become more of an encourager. I want to say things that are encouraging, uplifting, and building. Because we serve a God, we're made in the image of God who is a creator. Right? And so if death and life are in the tongue, which we're told that in scripture, and we've seen that, yes. If death and life are in the tongue, I think we should decide today to be a life giver. Yeah. We should be an encourager. What if this church became known as that friendly neighborhood church who built bridges where others had built walls? What if we became known as a people who strive to be more like Jesus and tore down those barriers between races, between status classes? What if we became known as a people who were kind, encouraging, and truthful? Folks, I don't want you to leave here trying to work harder at better managing your tongue. That's not what this is about. I don't want you to leave here, I'm gonna, I'll work harder, I'll do better. No, no, no, no, no. That's don't do that because it's not gonna work. I'll just straightforward, it doesn't work. Instead, I want you to leave here today asking the Holy Spirit to sit on the throne of your heart. Make him be the filter before it comes out. Yes, he wants to. He wants to. And I believe he wants to, I believe this is true because when the king sits on the throne, the rudder of that big ship will find the right direction. When the right person is piloting that boathouse, he knows where it's going and how to navigate those waters. When you have the right one in control, there's no longer sparks of destruction. Instead, it's encouragement and it's uplifting and it's building and it's life-giving. Folks, in just a few short words, you can uplift and create life, or you can tear down and cause death. My prayer today is that we would allow the Holy Spirit to dwell inside of us and be that filter from here to here and to begin to shape and create our mind as we share hope, hope with the people that walk around hopeless. Folks, we can't share hope if we're spitting poison. We can't share hope if we're tearing others down. We can't say one thing on Saturday and walk in Sunday and praise and worship. Let's begin to let the Holy Spirit tame our tongue. Let's let Him have control. Let's become known as a people who truly love people and speak life into others. Let's be discipled by Him. Amen.