Armored Garden
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Armored Garden
Gentleness & Self-Control: Strength Under Perfect Management
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🕊️ Gentleness is strength under control. Self-control is Spirit-led restraint.
In this episode of our Fruit of the Spirit series, the girls talk about gentleness and self-control , the fruit that shapes how we respond when we could react, and how we carry strength without causing harm. They unpack how gentleness isn’t weakness but a reflection of Christ’s character, and how self-control isn’t about willpower but about surrendering control to the Spirit.
From words we wish we could take back to impulses we struggle to manage, this conversation gets honest about what it looks like to live led instead of reactive. If you’ve ever felt the tension between what you feel and how you want to respond, this episode is a reminder that God doesn’t just change what we do — He transforms how we do it.
Led by the Spirit. Ruled by grace. 🌿
Scriptures:
Titus 3:1-2 NKJV
2 Timothy 1:7 (all three translations)
Matthew 11:29 ESV
1 Peter 3:15-16 NKJV
Galatians 6:1 NLT
Proverbs 25:28 NKJV
1 Corinthians 9:24-27 NLT
2 Timothy 1:7 ESV
Numbers 6:24-26 ESV
Spurred to Victory Service: https://youtu.be/Tv6TKW3MI44?si=wZPitrgmtDmOnlYd
You're kneeling in this soil of struggle. Marriage, mommyhood, friendships, workplace, all tangled up together in your hands. The world whispers you're not enough. Too tired, too broken.
SPEAKER_01But what if your very breath becomes a battle cry? What if the armor of God isn't cold steel, but living vines wrapping your heart, home, in your hardest day?
SPEAKER_03What would it look like if we take the attacks as target practice with our sword and weapons that have been crafted by our good, good Father God?
SPEAKER_00Welcome to the Armored Garden. I'm Lauren, a deeply in-love believer that the Word of God is a love letter all of our hearts need to hear and receive.
SPEAKER_01I'm Madison, a believer that even mustard seed faith can move mountains when we're suited up in Christ.
SPEAKER_03And I'm Tony, a fellow crowned daughter of the Most High God that wholeheartedly believes radical transformation is possible only with him. You have found a place where weary women become warriors, where Ephesians 6 meets our everyday, where we dig into God's word, plant truth and chaos, and watch him grow beauty from our battlefields.
SPEAKER_01You have entered into a secret space where we rest our tired bones in the presence of our Holy Father, and ask him to sharpen our swords and fill the holes in our armor for struggle and battles ahead.
SPEAKER_00So breathe a deep sister. That ache in your lungs, it's holy ground. Your prayers, even the whispered and unspoken ones, are oxygen to a garden the enemy can't touch.
SPEAKER_03Ready to trade overwhelm for overcoming? Let's armor up.
SPEAKER_00Hello, once again, fruit bearers, and welcome back to the Armored Garden, a safe space for you to come and encounter our Father God. We're very excited to be back in the garden with you, especially because we're coming to the end of our little fruitful time together. You're going along with me, Lauren, Tony, Madison, wherever you are or whatever you're up to, we invite you to grab your Bible, find you a comfy spot, and get ready to hear from our Master Gardener Father. Let's pray. Dear Heavenly Father, we just want to thank you, Lord, so much for your provision. I always include that in my prayer because it's such amazing to me that each day I we always awake with just what we need for the day. May we take this time to let everything around us fall to the wayside and we settle into your spirit, Lord. We just settle into your presence. The provision that you've given us for this time, it's come at the perfect time. You are always on time, Lord, and this time with you is precious. May we take this time to really open our hearts, open our eyes to see you, to understand you better, to hear from you, and to just leave this some time remembering that we are watched by a great father gardener that takes care of us, prunes us, feeds us, waters us when we need it, because you know all that needs to be done. Thank you for this day and your mercy and your grace. We pray that all this in your name. Amen. Amen. Amen. Last week we talked about, we just kind of been keeping them in tandem, dynamic duos. Last week was goodness and faithfulness, which I thought was really cool. More good reminder of really a picture of what we're supposed to be, not because we're being watched, but because that's who he calls us to be. Because the reality is you are being watched, but by him. So it doesn't really matter if your friend's watching, your mom's watching, your husband's watching, your best friends watching. It's about knowing that Father, our father, is watching us all the time. And today we round out our fruit study with our last dynamic duo. I like that we've done them in so you can like study them together and then take them apart. Today we're gonna round out our fruit study with our last dynamic duo, gentleness and self-control.
SPEAKER_03So long time ago, back when we first started with love, um, I remember I'm not even gonna quote who I heard say it because I might be wrong. But she, I think it was not Beth Moore. I don't know. Nope, it was Joyce Meyer for sure. Um, she called love and self-control the bookends of the fruits of the spirit, because love in action is what keeps the guardrails on all the other fruits. But then self-control, you can't do any of them without the self-control. So this is kind of rounding out, if you think of it like the bookends, love, you can't do any of them without love. And then self-control keeps them all kind of in line. So I liked that description. Um, because nothing is in random order. When you're reading the Bible, none of it is just kind of randomly, it's not a random, nothing is a random list.
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_03Um, so gentleness is going to be how we apply this love, patience, kindness, all of the other fruits that we've been studying, how we apply it with care, where self-control helps us to do it with consistency. Because it's really easy to just do things in bursts, you know, a little bit of here, a little bit of here, a little bit of here. For sure. And I'm even like working on that myself. Like I feel like if I had to pick a fruit, like I need to self-control. And it's a spot he makes you feel so guilty about that you can't sustain. Yes, but it's not guilt, it's not him. Yes. No, I'm saying the enemy uses that for sure.
SPEAKER_00Oh, you let you stopped again.
SPEAKER_03Yes, but the Lord in his gentleness, yeah, knows that you know it might be some conviction, but we're gonna get it together one day. He knows I'm gonna get it together one day. So gentleness and self-control is where we're heading. So these are the fruits because they're at the end of the list that keep the other fruits from rotting.
SPEAKER_01So good. So we're going to flip our Bibles open to Titus. Titus? I had to hunt that one down. I know. Don't really hear about him much. Um, and we're gonna be in chapter three, verses one and two is what I'm gonna read first. So it says, remind them to be subject to rulers and authorities, to obey, to be ready for every good work, to speak evil of no one, to be peaceable, gentle, showing all humility to all men. And then flipping over to 2 Timothy, another smaller one. I'm right behind it, because I just passed it. I know looking up and then that's verse our chapter one, verse seven. It says, For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and of a sound mind.
SPEAKER_03Which my version, the SV, some say, for God gave us not a spirit of fear, but of power and love and of self-control.
SPEAKER_00I like mine too, because it adds of for God has not given the mine's NLT, for God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity. Like not only being fearful, but being timid about something.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that's so good.
SPEAKER_00So good.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and it's funny because I actually like I tell my kids this now all the time too. Like, I'm like, all right, remember, you have a sound mind. So in in turn, you have self-control and you can be obedient. Like, and so I try and like walk them through that, especially my daughter. But going um back to those verses, just like pay attention to the gentleness that is kind of another command to us. Um, the spirit, the spirit's power is linked directly to that self-control. We can't have self-control if we do not have the spirit helping us with that self-control. And because when you go and try and act in the flesh, you definitely don't have self-control. You're like running around, I feel like without your left leg. So you're just spinning in a circle, like going in circles, going crazy. I don't know. Um, so it's interesting how God's power in us looks very gentle, but also very disciplined.
SPEAKER_03Which only he could master like those two things together. Together.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_00Cause it's not like yelling at you, like, don't do that. It's saying, here's what you could look like, but let's try this. Exactly what you do with your kids. Like that you could do that option, but here's another one. Right, right. Much better. Going into our first fruit, gentleness. The world, the world here's gentle, and they immediately think someone that's weak, like that timid, that spirit of timidity. They think like someone that's a pushover, passive, and literally just lets people get away with anything they want, the version of gentle. I think that's something in parenting, too, is a very fine line of helping your child to understand to not let things bother you to find that gentle place. But this is probably why we're not bringing the Lord into it. When you like bring him into it, that's when it all makes sense. In Greek, the word is proutis, which is meekness. Which when I think of the word meek, I don't think of weak at all. I think of a person that's calm and gentle in a way that's almost strength looking. They're not meek and weak. They're ooh, not meek and weak. We don't like those rhyming words. It's very different. It's described as a war horse under perfect control, immense power, just like a horse, a war horse would be, and responds to the rider's lightest touch. My husband's family is um, and at our church, actually, not even just my husband's family. We just had the most amazing visual. We can probably tag it down below of a um ministry that's at that we supported our church called Spurred to Victory. It's incredible, just the visual that it provides of what someone that is not broken by the Lord, but strengthened by the Lord. Because a lot of people, when they think of cowboys or horse riders or whatever, they think that's what you're doing, is you're you're breaking the horse to a place of leaving, but actually you're allowing them to come into full potential, which is exactly what this fruit is for. When you're in and you live in that gentle spirit, it's not just strength. It's actually when you channel his strength, which is what the rider does when they're trying to help the horse understand this is what you can do, and we're gonna do it together. So where are you wherever, where in your life are you, or where do you feel like you may have been called to channel strength with a precision as far as instead of just being like a big, strong, tough person, but sometimes it's gotta you gotta invade it into a certain area rather than just unleashing a like a I'm kind of you could walk around being like a bully, like being like, I'm so strong, yeah.
SPEAKER_03And that's where I think a lot of people think like church hurt might come from. Or I don't want to be the a Christian because I've seen, but then when you realize that we're all just you know, we're all sinners, we all fall short, but like that fruit of gentleness. I feel like once you see someone with it, you realize like wow, that's not of them because that is like so hard for like the flesh can't master that. And not not they can master like timid, but like that holy restraint of power, but it's so soft at the same time. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00I think your marriage is another place when you get a good balance of being able to love them, but also and vice versa, being loved in it too, to be able to output it like that. But that's one of those areas that and it's also exactly like at church where the enemy just loves to run rampant of like, do you hear how he's talking to you? Do you hear how she's talking to you when you really are trying to allow the Lord to lead you in that? But it's an easy spot, I think, for him to kind of like wriggle in there and be like, they're not saying that out of love, they're saying that out of strength and being over you and like an overlord over you, instead of it being like, No, I mean that in a gentle, because I love you. I'm gonna so true.
SPEAKER_03Um, I'm gonna read out of Matthew 11 29, focusing on our fruit of gentleness. My boy Matthew. This is Jesus talking. So listen up. Red lettuce. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me. For I am gently, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. So Jesus, this man that we also read about, he was there when the universe was created. You know, you see him pop up in the old, like I've been reading like in the old testament in the Bible recap. And some scholars believe, like when Hagar is out in the desert and it says the angel of the Lord, like some people believe they call it a Christophany, like that is Jesus Christ in the flesh, came to meet Hagar by that spring. So he's been all along, all like anytime you read the angel of the Lord. There is, I forget the number, but very cool, interesting old testament fact. That's a good deep dive. Terri Cobble sent me, gave me that knowledge. Um, that's my girl, TLC. I love her. Um anyway, so this man who's been part of all of it, and he we read about him driving out demons and overturning tables, but here he's describing his core nature as gentle and humble, and his yoke is easy and light. Like there's just no one else in the world that you could describe as both of those things. But again, if you just understand back to the Greek word, like he's not telling you to be timid and to be a pushover and to let people walk over you. He's saying, You have my power inside of you, but you have to put the holy restraint on top of it. His might cannot be separated from his meekness. And I think about him going out um into the wilderness. And when even he was Satan himself tempting him with scripture. He didn't like go guns ablazing at him. Like he could have taken that restraint off and been like, here it is. Like this is, you know, I'm gonna end it right now. But no, like still the meekness of the way that he just he knew the truth. He didn't get rattled, he didn't like bring out the troops and all the angels to come down and fight for no, he just so meekly delivered the truth back to him out of God's word, and it was done. Um, so his power it's was wielded in tenderness and precision. I like that word. He said that precision. Um, so this might even, if you start thinking about this, change your view of authority. So if the king of kings leads with gentleness, how can the small bits of power you have in your life, how can you wield your power that way? Whether you're a parent or you're a boss or you're a friend or you serve um, and you have some people serving under you, how can we take away that harshness that we might have that we might assume that might be being leaders, you know, being bold and having power, but like to do it like the king of kings and to do it with meekness and precision and without those harsh words or even that harsh tone behind it. Because sometimes sometimes it's the tone. It may not even be the words, delivery sometimes.
SPEAKER_01You know, so that's good. So we kind of have like the mission, right? The gentle answer here. So we're gonna go read first Peter 3, 15 through 16 first before we dive in. To the back. Yes. Says, but sanctify the Lord God in your hearts and always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you with meekness and fear. I want to pause real quick because even though my Bible says fear, what they mean is like reverence, reverence to the Lord. Like I think we also hear fear, we talk about this all the time, like how words are misused, right? Or misrepresented, depending on how what we're saying or how what we're speaking about. And fear, this is not to be like, oh, I'm trembling underneath the couch hiding from a monster. No, like this is fear in reverence and respect to your holy father in heaven. My Bible says respect with gentleness and respect. Yeah. So that's um, that was verse 15. Verse 16 says, having a good conscience that when they defame you as evildoers, those who rival your good conduct in Christ may be ashamed. Tony, what is your does yours say anything different than that?
SPEAKER_03Having a good conscience so that when you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame. Yeah. For it is better to suffer for doing good if that should be God's will than for doing evil.
SPEAKER_01Right. And so I just think back like even when you're defending the gospel, it must be wrapped up in gentleness. Like I talk about the Luke and I talk about this all the time. Like, where you see someone you love and you're like, it's right there. Like, you just want to shake them or be like, uh, or even like I feel like also when you're kind of like a early sisters for us, like as a new believer, you're like Jesus is coming back. You need to figure this out right now. Like, you just want to like fear monger, mongle them, and like that's not it either. Like, Jesus doesn't do that, like he and as you start walking with him, you're like, ah, you're so gentle. Like, and that's why that's my go-to saying, like, Lord, be gentle, gentle, and humble my husband before I do it, because I'm not gentle. Like, we are not in nature, we're not gentle human beings, but because of our flesh. And so, because gentleness disarms and kind of creates that space of like you're protecting the dignity of others, um, and it's not harsh, right? It's just you're not in it to have an argument to win the point and lose a soul, like you're in it to gently come alongside them. We like to say, as first followers, like as followers, like come alongside somebody so gently and be like, Look, like you're supposed to be representing Jesus and his gentleness, and he did. Like, I picture when he first went to the first two disciples, he wasn't like, Hey, drop your nets, leave your dad. We got to go, like, you need to do this now. Like, he was like, Hey, conversation. How are you? Throw your net in again. Now follow me, and I'll make you fishers of men. Like, he was so gentle about it. Like, he he could have told him, like, kind of like a um, what is it back in the day when you had to join the military, you didn't even have a choice with a draft. He could have drafted 12 disciples and been like, you, you, you, you, pack your crap, let's go. Like, we gotta go next.
SPEAKER_03In in proper authority because he can. Right. And even the gentleness of like free will, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_03Oh me, you know, like we I mean, even like the disciples, they had the free will to say no. Yeah, but he didn't force them. No. So that is as gentle. And then you realize the the going back to the first bookend of love, like that love without that agape love that you get to experience because you you said yes. Right. Because it was a decision you made.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, there's no strings attached, it's just love purely for love. And I think about too, like back then, where the Jews were at in that moment when Jesus did come to the earth and like start his ministry, was they were used to authority, they were used to like thumb on them, oppressive. Yes, and so like here you have this man Jesus walking up to you and being like, please follow me. Like, I'm calling on you. And he was so meek and tender and gentle with so much love wrapped up in it that they were like, I want whatever you got. Like, take me here. I am like, you know. Um so my question is Have you been on the receiving end of a hard truth delivered with true gentleness? And how did that affect you compared to necessarily a truth that was out of harshness?
SPEAKER_03Well, I think with harshness, it's so easy to feel offended. Oh, yeah. That spirit of offense, it's like like you feel the the guard gates just go up immediately, but yeah, the delivering makes a difference. The del the way you deliver it. When you feel someone coming at you with love, and then it's not just in that moment, too. It's like you know, like I know Lauren and I know the type of friend she is, and I know how you know, but I know that you love me and you want what's best for me, and we're walking alongside of each other, we're journeying together in our life, we're raising our kids together. And if Lauren comes at me with whatever she has to say to me, right, I'm gonna say, you know what? Like she she cares about me. Right. So the delivery is also based on the how I feel about our relationship. Relationship. So if I'm not walking with you and I just see a person and I'm like, oh, they need some some truth, and I just drop it, they're gonna be like, oh, that's that's again where that like that feeling of offense comes in the church. Because you have like the church isn't the building, it's walking and it's doing life together, and it's all of the things. So if those people that are coming alongside of me and journeying with me and my Christian walk have something that they feel like they need to deliver to me, right, and it's done in gentleness, it's because their walk with me is gentle as well. Right.
SPEAKER_00That is definitely where church hurt begins. Yeah. That's those pew people that sit in their designated pews, the pews that they've sat in for 10, 15, 20 years.
SPEAKER_03All right now, come on. And they I like my spot.
SPEAKER_00No, but they sit in their pews like they're owned of it. Like it's their pew to own. That's exactly why my dad never went to church and he. He had no problems telling anyone. He used to tell my husband all the time, I'm not gonna go sit in a room full of hypocrites because I know what they do in the dark. Yeah. And my husband always had to remind him that's their business, what's done in the dark. Even though you might be privy to their business, you come to that building to encounter God. You don't come for those people. It was very, very hard for my dad, though.
SPEAKER_01Very hard. It is funny though, because like if you see people that, yeah, like because I remember back when the church did have pews, and like, man, if you sat in somebody's pew, they would be like, born and raised Baptist.
SPEAKER_00I like my spot. No, you do pick a spot. No, you pick a spot, Tony, because you and you pick multiple spots though. I don't like all over this church. But anyone that sits in our spot, they can have it.
SPEAKER_03You can have my spot. No, but Tony would talk to me like my spot.
SPEAKER_00Like, we used to sit there yesterday.
SPEAKER_01But uh you can have it for today.
SPEAKER_00No, but I'm talking like old school, where the like I said where that turn joking. No, and like if you are Southern Baptist, you know we always sit at the back. Yeah. Tony like go breaks the mold, she goes all the way to front. Oh my gosh, Tony. Yeah. What's happening behind me? Oh my gosh, nobody stop. We're like, you really gotta turn around sometimes. It was the men's conference, wasn't it? Or something where you were all the way to the back and it was really neat. Three of us were in the back. Like see the church full.
SPEAKER_03It's so neat though. Yeah. And just to think like, how am I gonna take this word and like apply it to my life since we're like asking questions? For sure. Is I do feel like I struggle with timidness. Like I'm the person who's just gonna like take it to like not create conflict. Like, I can take it. I can't I'm not gonna mention anything, like I'm just gonna keep keep a walking. Yeah, you know, or I'm gonna just just take like take all of it to just not create that conflict. But that is not what the word tells me to do. That's right.
SPEAKER_01So just speak up with gentleness. What's Cindy's uh go-to saying about Jesus?
SPEAKER_03That he was not always kind, not he's always kind, he may not always be kind of nice, yeah, or that's flip-flops. I don't know which way. Nice, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Because a kind word can be an honest word, right? Like I love you, and I'm gonna tell you this.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. But sometimes, like when you're saying you're taking it because somebody's coming at you sideways, like you don't you can be kind, but you don't always have to be nice. I think back to Pastor Frank mentioned a thing in his sermon a couple weeks ago. He's like, This guy started coming at me a little sideways. And I was like, That was so funny. You need to stop. And the guy was like, Oh, I wasn't coming at you. He's like, Yeah, you were. And like, I feel like sometimes too, like, you don't even realize because you've maybe just hung up the phone and you're going into a new situation, and like, so you're taking that non-self-control, non-gentleness, non-kindness out of that situation that might have flustered you or frustrated you, and walking into a new one. And even Joe's sermon today, he was like, You never know what someone someone's going got going on in their life. So, like, you and the best example that he put in today was talking about a fast food restaurant. Like, you walk into or a restaurant in general, you walk into a restaurant and they mess up your order. You don't know what that person's going through. And like, are you gonna be so quick to judge and be like, oh my gosh, you messed up my food, you've ruined my day, and go off on them? Or are you gonna act in gentleness and kindness and be like, hey, you did mess this up, but it's totally fine. I'll keep it unless you are able to fix it and like approach it. That was just such a good example that he put out there today because I'm like, Oh, how many times have we done that? Been like, now I'm late for this, or now I'm this isn't what I wanted today, you know. And so I'm like, oof.
SPEAKER_00That was a and that that day that we were doing that, we were helping with the youth group, is where we were. And Joe was riddled with guilt about that day in particular because he said that was like a chance for me to me to step up. And I knew that's what the Lord was calling me to do, and I didn't do it. Right. So he always like harkens back to that moment, and he's like, I will no longer feel like if he's specifically asking me to do something, whatever it may be, a moment of gentleness, a moment of kindness, a moment of self-control, especially in a public situation like that, because he said that's what we are called to be. We're like walking billboards for the Lord.
SPEAKER_03I, in our devoted study, when we were studying the women of the Bible, I wrote it down and I can't remember for what woman it was for, but um it talked about how like we're always looking for an assignment, right? Like we go, we got our days so scheduled out, like Lord, take me where you want me to be today. But like normally the interruptions are the assignment. Yeah. And we're so focused on our schedule of like, oh, if my food's late and then I've got 10 minutes to be here, and then you have your schedule so like we work especially like as moms and working women, as dad, you know, a lot with people who wear, we most of us wear a lot of hats. Or even if you're just at home, you have a lot of hats because you gotta clean, you gotta cook, you gotta, you know, feed the kit, you gotta do all of the things. But like, I don't know, like Jesus never woke up and was like, here's the schedule today, guys. We're gonna, we're gonna cast the demons and we're gonna, then we gotta go, we gotta skirt a little left this way so I can meet the woman at the well. Don't fret, it's the Maria, it's fine. We're gonna, you know, like he did his business. Like he just, it was the interruptions. Like he, because he's all knowing and he's sovereign, he knew. But sometimes you got to look at that interruption of like, okay, Lord, how can I, how can I be a billboard for you today? How can I be more gentle here so that this person might get to experience?
SPEAKER_00I think it was in our devoted study too, where it talked about legitimately looking at every moment of your life, like, how can I bring God here in today? Right, how can I invade? I've that I think I don't know if we made the phrase up or whatever, but I just obsessed with that phrase, invade this situation with Christ.
SPEAKER_03Like, how do I and a lot of times gentleness could be such a great way to do that because a lot of times things and people and places aren't gentle, right? Not in this world, especially in our world. It's either like I said, like I struggle with being timid and maybe not speaking up, or on the other side of like, I'm gonna tell you how it is, ain't nothing gentle about me. Right. But like that holy restraint of power.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And I think about too, like you're saying that Joe um goes back to that moment, but it's like sometimes I want to talk about that for a second. Like when you're when you feel like you're called to do something and you don't necessarily do it that first time, but it's it's also a learning lesson. Yeah. Because in those moments, like he can refer back to that on a dime all the time now. And so he's able to recognize when the Lord is calling him to step out and be bold and be a billboard. Like for sure. And so I feel like too, same thing with going through self-control and gentleness. Like, I think about that all the time, like now, especially as a mom, where I might have lost it on my kids. And I'm like, oh my gosh, I can't go back to that moment. Like that was so not Christ-like. That was definitely me acting in my flesh. So here going forward, like if they start to do this or they're doing Lord only knows, every day is different with a child, but um amen. That saying you never know what coming out of a kid's mouth. You also don't know what their body is doing or thinking that day. But that is a like, you sometimes need those pivotal learning moments to start to recognize not only God's voice, but his gentleness and the way that he teaches us that self-control. And so that way it sticks and it's not just this one time slap a band-aid on it. I did a good job. Yeah, you know, it's uh starts to become your character, starts to become something that's second nature to you, starts to become like having a right arm and being able to pick up a pen and write with it, you know. Like it's just something that you are always doing at that point.
SPEAKER_00So good. So I can't let this when it when you asked that question and I thought about it, I visually got the picture of the day we brought Callum home. So my oldest son Ruger is there's two years' difference between my oldest and my second. And my first one, I had a touch of the PPD, and oh Lord, I just lay in that bed at night looking at him like Joe, we got taken back. I don't know what I'm doing. So then when Callum rolls around two years later, I'm like, I'm gonna hit this thing on the head like that nail. I got this thing. We get into the house. My numerically, there were so many people in this house. My sister, my brother-in-law, my mom, my amazing mom-in-law, my like my all my awesome mom's there to help me. My mom-in-law is helping like the baby and Rigger and my oldest, who's two. And we just thought, well, you know, they're outnumbered. So why don't we try and potty train Rigor while we're going through this, right? We thought, that'd be smart. So stupid. So that home is so full of people, so full of noise, so full of all the things. And Rigger's attempting to be potty trained, there's pee everywhere. He's just going random places and peeing, because we just thought, let's just leave him, you know, naked. It works, you especially for boys. It's kind of a lot easier, anywho. And my mom-in-law, I had also my two sister-in-laws, I forgot about them. They were minors at the time, so they had to come with my mom-in-law. And the moment, I think it was like the second or third day that they we were all there, like in this house. They were sleeping on the book, mattress in my middle of my living room. I'm trying to breastfeed, do all the things, and it's just like non-organized chaos. And my sweet mom-in-law, my poor mom's like, oh my gosh, is she like, she's my mom, so she wants to help me. And like my mom-in-law said, Okay, we're gonna take Ruger. And I was like, No, no, no. And my bar of my kitchen, there's a little walkway. When you walk into my kitchen, I'm standing in this little opening, like blocking my living room, like almost like putting my body in between. And she said, We're gonna take Ruger to Naples. And it was exactly what I needed, but I did not, I could not take that as reality of like, because Amelia the enemy told me, see, you can't do this. Right. You tried and you failed again, and you're failing, you're actively failing in this. Right. And it was like, and it was not to this day, I could never thank her enough. And I still don't think she completely understands in that moment. What and even Joe is like looking at his mom and he's like, Mom, I don't, I don't know how to do this. And she was like, It's okay. I could cry thinking about so she said, We're gonna take him. And she lived in Naples at the time, so it's two hours from us. So even if we wanted to get to Ruger, like we really he was off.
SPEAKER_01It's not out of drama.
SPEAKER_00But he got to spend time with his sugar and his pop-pop and all of his ants and stuff, and it was we had to learn our new baby, we had to figure out how to do the new life with the new baby. And what I always like to tell everybody is we had to learn the new normal, right? And I was forcing myself into what I thought the normal was gonna look like, and it was one of the hardest things, even harder than what I did with Ruger, because I was like, and Ruger wanted me to hold him, and I had a C-section. It was, but that moment of gentleness that she gave me of like, it's okay. Right. And she told me the first time too, it's fine. But that day it was more like it's okay. And I'm we're gonna work on potty training while we're there because that's what he needed. She's like, You and Joe are gonna figure out Callum, and then when we all get back together, it's gonna be like, it's gonna be fine. And I was like, but that immediate picture popped into my head when you asked that question because that right there was so hard for me, but it was truthful of what I needed. But it was the most gentle and kind thing. And then my mom was really able to help me, right? Her daughter, like really helped me with the baby, and then my sister stayed with me, and it was it was exactly what we needed. It was what Joe needed too because Joe was like lost in how to help me and how to help Ruger, and he felt overwhelmed too. And Joe, when Joe gets overwhelmed, he's like he immediately starts beating himself up badly. Yeah, and it was exact his mom knew, and his mom knew that's what he needed too. Right. It was just one of those beautiful. Now I look back and I'm like, dang. And now I'm like, oh my gosh, I can't wait to do that. Like for my sister, for my babies, like that gives me such joy that I can then take that and give that to them because I needed it desperately, but didn't will or wasn't willing to take it. But I was like, dang, I love that. That was like literally top five moments of my life, which was sad in the moment, but now looking back, I'm like, that was the best thing ever. Yeah, such good, such good gentleness. She embodies that for me in my life. The battle though, that we're gonna now kind of discuss is that is is confronting that thing that because a lot of times gentleness is gonna come, I don't want to say, and it will not always be near or around sin, but it's sometimes gonna be dancing around a sinful action or a simple thing. So if you'll turn over to Galatians, we're gonna be in chapter six, right at the very beginning, verse one. Galatians six, one. Minds NLT. Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path and be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself. I love Galatians. So good. So confronting that sin requires an unimaginable strength, really, like nothing that you can probably humanly understand or comprehend. It takes a great courage of yourself to not because you want to be better than them, but because you know that better can be. Right. And not because you want them to feel bad. So massive strength, a good amount of courage, and a good, healthy dose of truth telling. That's what Susan gave me that day was a little bit of it was all those things. It literally was my fruit basket. She was being loving to me, abiding, she was being obedient to the Lord. And because I know he probably told her that. She was being gentle with me, kind with me, all those things. That's what that gentleness is gonna come, is gonna look like. Not to make you feel like something's missing, but to remind you that something is supposed to be in that spot. Right. The goal isn't to be right or to punish that person or to make them feel bad about whatever it is they're battling, it's to help them heal and to really help the Lord do the healing work. You're just kind of helping them hold the door open and to bring back what require, what requires that self-control, which we're gonna talk about in just a second, to the absolute highest that it could possibly be. That gentleness is impossible when we pull from our own ego. Cause that's when you start doing the what I call the tally taker. I'm right, tomorrow you're right. Speaking of you married couples, I know the tally taker. He's wrong, I'm right. That's that that's not gentleness, that's tally taking. That's not doing it out of love or a place of no ego. That's just I want to be right and I need him to be wrong, so I feel better about it. And it flows from a being like we always we started this about abiding in our gentle king.
SPEAKER_03If gentleness is wielding power out into the world, so now we're gonna move on to self-control, which is the pairing fruit. It's how we govern that power inside of ourselves inwardly. So the Greek word for self-control is a gratia. Good job. It means inner strength or mastery. So that fruit is saying, I'm not ruled by the appetites of my flesh, which come victim. Yeah, I mean, okay, Lord, I got I got it, I got it. Every time I drive by the gym, I got it. Driving by the gym today. So it's not about what our flesh wants, what our willpower is telling us to do, but a spirit power that's aligning our desires with what the will that the Lord has for us, which amen and amen. Very easy to say.
SPEAKER_01Listen, y'all would be not so easy to do all the time. So excited because I feel like this is very lower elementary. I have a great way of distinguishing condemnation versus conviction. Have I told you all this yet? No, I don't think so. Oh, you're gonna be so excited. All right, so condemnation has an N in it. That means no no no no from the enemy. Okay, but conviction has a V in it for victory. Comes from that.
SPEAKER_00That's good for right, that's like a total first kinder thing. I love that.
SPEAKER_03They have to know N and V first, though. So maybe like a that's a Tony thing. I'm not used to that.
SPEAKER_00They better know N and V when they get up to it.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, that's a later kindergarten skill. I was just like the hand gesture did great. Yeah. So no, no, no, nobody's ready for it. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01I'm lying to that. So good. Talking about the contrast between um kind of self-control and things like that. It's pretty much when you don't have self-control, a city without walls. So um, we're gonna go to Proverbs chapter 25, verse 28. Permanent way back. Yeah. Let's go old school now. Old Testament, y'all. So whoever of King Solomon. Yes. Whoever has no rule over his own spirit is like a city broken down without walls. And a city without walls is very vulnerable amongst its enemies, right? I think about whenever I hear this, I just always think about Jericho.
SPEAKER_03Yep.
SPEAKER_01And once the walls came down, everyone inside was very vulnerable, right? They were unfortunately taken over. So um self-control is that inner fortification that the spirit does for us to kind of like help us bear these fruit, right? And help us abide. So it's saying no to the desires of the flesh, the things that you know we want instantly, instant gratification from, and things that in turn kind of lead us into temptation and sin. Whereas it's saying yes to that greater calling of like, okay, how can I produce, you know, peace, love, joy, all the things, patience, kindness, gentleness, because I have self-control. So it applies to everything. Our tongues, much mouth, water medicine is that was one I, you know, I did need to learn that. And I feel like a lot of as a woman, like sometimes that's kind of our hardest one was tongues. Um, tempers, that's another one I had to learn. Uh, time, um, thoughts, like our lives, our whether it be uh actual thing or physical appetites, emotional appetites, like whatever it may be. But um I don't know, tongues and temper was one that I there's been a lot of working. A lot of working for me on that one.
SPEAKER_00That's where you find like a lot of deep-seated roots when you're when you really start to want your relationship with the Lord to be better. That's that heart work that we're always talking about that you're gonna do, and that's looking at everything.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00What your past is like comprised of, how your present situation, what you're in, and what you imagine your future being like, like that's where your flesh is like, because your flesh remembers everything from back behind, and it's trained itself to however your version of survival looks. Maybe it's quietness in Madison and I situation, it's a little bit of a sharp tongue. That's just what we've trained ourselves, how we train ourselves to survive in situations and what we feel most comfortable in, and that for sure.
SPEAKER_01Well, that and that to me, I go back so much to like that generational thing. Like, why like because I think about that time all the time. I'm like, gosh, why is my flesh like this? Like, why is this something that like was such a hard battle for me? Why can't I be a little more meek or gentle? And I'm like, but then you think back and it's it all trickles down. Like, I think about how my parents handled situations or my grandparents handled situations or you know, things like that. And then it's like also going forward, so it's kind of like you can look back to go forward, going forward. How did I handle that situation with my children? And how did I act? And but then as soon as I act in my flesh, I'm reminded instantly, like, the Lord is so good about this. So, kind of like Joe being able to pull from that memory, I think back to my childhood and like, oh, I didn't like being treated, like I remember how it was to be treated that way in that situation. And um, so I definitely don't want my kids like because I'm like, they're gonna have this thought. They're gonna be like, oh, my mom did this that one time, and like remember that forever. Yeah. So what is an area in your life? Here's a question for you, um, that you most feel like a city with broken walls. Like, are there impulses that easily overrun your intentions? I was one so bad to see if Tony had a broken wall.
SPEAKER_03I know. I um I mean, I would say tongue and temper aren't mine, but I feel like I've kind of said it earlier, like maybe that just like passivity of like not what's the word? I don't know, like not having that like being vocal or whatever, yeah. Yeah, but just kind of taking it as it is and just kind of keep it moving forward, which that's not like the way that Jesus was in the Bible. So right, you know, I think just like looking at him and seeing where I don't really like that is my broken wall. Yeah, but there's a lot of areas because you know we're we're flushed. And on this side of the garden in the middle of the two, there's where there's gonna be broken walls. Yeah, for sure. Um, but I think what's really cool is when you start to build those walls up for yourself and you're like, okay, I'm gonna put some self-control here. And like, Lord, you told me no and I really want to, but you said no. So I'm gonna have some self-control. But like once you get on the other side of it, you're like, that was for my good. Thank you. And then you're like, okay, so now I know next time it's gonna be a little bit easier to say no to my flesh and say yes to you. And then it gets easier every single time. Yeah, doesn't always feel good, but that's that like sanctification that we have to go through. That's always a process. Yeah, you know, that is a journey. Like we are saved immediately, but are we sanctified immediately? No, we are not. Um, and I feel like you know, the deeper you get, sometimes the because the Lord is so gentle when he speaks to you at first, you're like, I can't hear you, God. Like, can you speak a little louder? He's not gonna speak louder. Right. He wants you to be more attentive. Right. So the more attentive you are as you go down your journey, you're like, okay, I heard that multiple times today. So, like, you know, our friend Rochelle says, like, the comb starts out like in the beginning of your journey, like a wide-tooth comb. Like, I got a few knots out of my hair today, but then it gets thinner comb in a thinner comb, you're like, ooh, there's a lot of knots up here. Like, I thought I worked all that out. Yeah, I thought I was there. I think that goes in with, you know, self-control because you have to, you, the Lord is gentle in his giving us our free will to be like, I'm listening to my flesh today. Right. But instead, if we choose to have that self-control and let the spirit guide us, that he's always got our best interest in mind and to see how it turns out for his glory and for his kingdom.
SPEAKER_00I shared mine, but I do like the visual of the wall only because when you think about a wall, especially in your younger years, I'm sure you think of a wall as keeping you in, right? As opposed to keeping other things out. Right.
SPEAKER_03And so defense as well as offense. And you have to know the difference. Like, is this a wall that was built in self-control to keep up? Right, or is this a fleshly wall that I built for myself that has to that was built in condemnation in no no, yeah, not conviction.
SPEAKER_00This is my victim wall.
SPEAKER_01See, we're using so I think about that because you just said like tearing down walls, right? And so, like, if we are a city without a wall, right? So, like, is this a Jericho wall that has to come in? Exactly. So he tears it down, and then I feel like every time you do have self-control, I just picture like bricks, right? And I picture him putting a little brick, and then the cement is just that love that he poured over you through that time, like and rebuilding this entire wall that actually is so much better and so much stronger because it's been built with the Lord.
SPEAKER_03When you look at your walls that you built out of condemnation, right? You feel like they're strong, ugly and but the Lord's like, let me just like put a little bit of my breath on it and it'll just like blow over. Like, let me just like breathe a little love, breathe a little bit of you know, all of the other fruits and just abide in me, and it's gonna fall down so easy. Yeah, but it's that again, like if you go all the way back to episode one, like if you're not holding on to that vine for dear life, abiding, that means not leaving.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, for sure.
SPEAKER_03And this feels so hard. Like it's not our self-control, it's not our none of this is ours. I think again, like it's just a good reminder. Like, we do not have a God by love, we do not have the joy from the kingdom, we do not have his peace, we do not have any of those things. It's all from him, and we're just the conduit that he's sending it through.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I was gonna say the fruits to me are such a visual good, and I just because I love visuals, a visual picture of his characters. Like these are him.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00When you think that you're trying to like go to the store and buy them, you might buy them, but they'll be the knockoff fake versions of them.
SPEAKER_03It'll be the Walmart delivery version when they send me rotten bananas.
SPEAKER_00Or you try to order a bunch and they give you one. I've never understood that.
SPEAKER_03I asked for oh no, there's a difference in the button. I've done the one single banana multiple times, and it's only because Chris did it first, and I was like, You ordered one banana? One, Lord's like, I'm gonna get you. You're lady's only gonna leave it multiple times.
SPEAKER_00So good. But it definitely is his a picture of who he is, which I don't know if it was just it's been a culmination of things between our first Bible study we did was Seamless, and then this one that we done together as a group of ladies is called Devoted, and it's um really honestly taking yourself out of it and letting it all be about Christ, all of it. I'm not like these things that I want to do in life are not so I'm clapped for or I'm praised. It's because I want people to understand who my Jesus is and what a good father that we have that he's willing to be like, you know, it's kind of annoying to build this wall again. But I don't mind. I'll bring the mortar, you bring one brick at a time, and I will stand here along with you and I will we'll build together. And he's willing to do that, to like step into it and build with us, as opposed to like, are you done yet? Like I'm waiting for your wall to be built. He's that's not the kind of that's not the kind of God he is right at all. So now we're gonna flip over to First Corinthians. I'm all up in the Athians Galatians, Philatians, Philippians. I love that Second Corinthians or far, sorry, 1 Corinthians 9, 24 to 27. So now that we've kind of like discussed what that self-control really what it means for our lives, I always like to have a little well now. What do I do? So 2 Corinthians 9, 24 to 27. NLT. Oh no. That's why I'm in Second Corinthians still. 924 to 27. NLT reads, Don't you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets a prize. So run to win. All athletes are disciplined in their training. They did they do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize. So I run with purpose in every step. I am not just shadow boxing. I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others, I myself might be disqualified. That was Paul talking. That's a good little like Chris needs that in the locker room.
SPEAKER_03I know. I was just thinking, like, that is a good one. That is good.
SPEAKER_00I like, and I like so I run with purpose in every step. That is very good. That is something that I feel like the enemy has always tried to do in my head is orient, like make my mind orient to what's next, what's next, what's next, right? It's next, instead of what's right now. Now, yeah. How can I be gentle right now? How can I show love right now? That's what these fruits are all in the moment. Like Rochelle's our friend Rochelle, one day she'll be on here, y'all, and you'll put a name with the face, but or the yeah, because she's just she always says, Where your two feet are, just where you're planted, just that's that's where you're gonna be focused on, where your two feet are. And that's not to say you neglect, like we're all teachers sitting here on these chairs. So we also get you have to make lesson plans, you have to plan for the next month and all those things, but you wake up knowing that the provision of today is here. I'm gonna focus on today's provision while still stewarding what the Lord's given me. So, this visual, once again, that Paul gave us of an athlete is such a good um metaphor. There you go, Madison. I got you an upper elementary metaphor. Self-control is that strict training that we need, that our desires need to reach that greater goal of living a fruitful and abided life in Christ. It's making and forcing our bodies, our appetites, those impulses, those fleshly wants and desires. It's making them uh making them into slaves, not the masters. They cannot run the show because they don't make very good choices. The flesh doesn't make very good choices. The goal for us all when we live with this fruit of self-control is a faithfulness that is just rooted in the gospel. And it's a it's finishing well. Like he was saying, like, I'm gonna run this race. Every step's gonna be my best step. Like, I will I do, I've been doing Pilates and I love she always does um when she's moving from one move to the other, she'll be like, give me your best 10 right now, give me your best five.
SPEAKER_01And I'm like, girl, I gave me like five moves ago, I'm out.
SPEAKER_00But I like that idea of like you're right now, like right in this moment. Give me your best ones. I'm like, okay. So word so right, estilogical. What? Estylogical. That's a lot of syllables. It is a lot of syllables. It's difficult, it's mean like it means like rooted in the word, like it's lived in the word, and it's that's our prize. Our am I a living, walking, breathing version of this word? That's the goal.
SPEAKER_03And the more you're in it, the more you because you're like, that's my goal. Yeah, but the more you or it may not even sound like a goal, like a winning prize to you if you're not in it. I like what I do. Like, I don't want to change, but the more you do have that self-control and you do start to root your life in that word, you're like, Oh, this is so good. And just like how we went back to like his yoke is easy, his burden is light, and you start to feel that versus the yoke and the burden that you were toting around, right? You realize why it's the prize. Because he embodies all of the things that we are not, and when we start to those fruits start to pop up that aren't ours, that are have nothing to do with us, we're just doing the easy thing of abiding, and then you're like, Okay, God, I I get it now.
SPEAKER_00I kind of get it.
SPEAKER_03I'm starting to understand.
SPEAKER_00And you enjoy it, it becomes like I I you and you hunt those situations down like and then you hunt the people who are showing those fruits.
SPEAKER_03Oh, yeah. So you're like, ooh, ooh, I know you, I I want some of that too. Yeah. And how do I get some of that? Because you're getting it from him. Then you start to rub shoulders with these people who are helping spur you along and journey you along and point you in the right direction. And then it just flows. Yeah. So good. So good. So wrapping up self-control, I want us to all flip back to 2 Timothy 1.7, which if you're looking for a Bible verse to memorize, this is a good one because it's just a lot. It's a good, it's, I mean, every verse is with purpose in the word, but this one just holds a lot of power too. Um, 2 Timothy 1.7, I read it to you guys earlier. For God gave us a spirit not of fear, but of power and of love and of self-control. Some of your work Bible translations might say of a sound mind. So this is just a this is the key to remember that the spirit we received, the Holy Spirit from the Lord who indwells in us, is not a fear. Um, God's power and love manifests itself inside of us to self-control. So when you're feeling that fear, a good way to pray it off is to know. 2 Timothy 1:7. You know, I know this is not a spirit of you, Lord. Like, I know that you gave me a spirit of power and of love and of a sound mind, of self-control. It proves that a higher holy power is at work within us and it points to his control, not our control, um, which can be a little hard to grab a hold of. But and it should encourage you that you're not battling this alone. That if the power that rose Jesus from that grave lives inside of us, we can handle, we together, the Holy Spirit leading and I following, can handle that fleshly appetite of my temper or of, you know, controlling my tongue or the food that we eat, or not wanting to, you know, take control of our temples and exercise and you know give ourselves to a living sacrifice to the Lord and making sure that we are doing those things that we're called to do. It's so hard when you're just thinking of doing it by yourself, but you are not alone that that is the spirit that is indwelling inside of you. And that spirit is the powerhouse of love and self-control and of every single one of these fruits that we've been studying. That is what the spirit is 24-7 with no days off, all of the time. And if that's indwelling inside of you, then we just gotta kind of we've got to abide. I mean, it just always goes back to that word of remaining in him, because he's remaining in you.
SPEAKER_00The Lord whispered to me not too long ago something about because I've and I've shared it with them in our Bible study group of I have recently, especially recently, battled really strongly with what is my flesh, what is the enemy, and what is the Holy Spirit. And I think because once you have decided to put two feet firmly in the kingdom, the enemy then has a different play he's got to do. He's got to now distract you and keep you from doing God's work because he no longer and he does, I feel like, understand that there are just some people that their salvation they understand is so much more valuable. So he can't fight you in that way, like keeping you from being saved and keeping you from the love of the Lord, but he's for sure gonna try and keep you from giving other people that good news. And so I personally have struggled with what those all sound like and how much differently. And the Lord whispered to me not too long ago because it is a gentle whisper, it is a kind voice, it is a sweet sound. And if you have, for however long you've listened to a harsh tone and to a like maniacal, like mean spirited sounding voice, that voice might sound not better, but you're used to it. So that gentle voice is almost like, well, that's what's too nice. Like, what the heck? Like, I have done wrong. Why does it sound like that to me? So he was like, just remember that you're learning my voice. You've listened to a different voice for a very long time. So that voice sounds normal, right? I'm gonna, my voice is different, and I felt so much better in hearing him say that because I was like, and I am, I'm more used to the harsher tone, to the convicting spirit as opposed to the condemnation as opposed to the conviction of him out of love. Right. I'm not used to that sound. So he was like, just remember you're learning it, you're tuning every day, and every day it's gonna get more and more more normal. Right. But I was like, okay, because honestly, the meaner voice sounds uh easier sometimes. Yeah, it makes more sense to me. Because it's also speaking to my flesh as opposed to speaking to my spirit, it's talking to my flesh and telling my flesh what to do. And the still small voice, the sweet, the the voice like honey is speaking to my spirit, which now runs the show.
SPEAKER_01But I was like, thank you for that because well, think about tuning a I think this is what he just gave me as a visual. Like, think about tuning the radio. And the closer you get to the station, the clearer it becomes. Yeah. So it's like as you get get closer to him, abide in him, the clearer and the more precise that you understand that is his voice. And all the other static, aka distraction and the enemy goes away. Yeah. Because you're tuned into him.
SPEAKER_00So I like that visual. That's so good.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. These two fruits are a perfect, interdependent pair. One without the other is a little dangerous, very much incomplete. So let's think about the danger of the imbalance between the two.
SPEAKER_00When you are a person that has like an overabundance of self-control, but no gentleness whatsoever, like you're just all about walls, walls, walls, walls, walls, icky, dirty walls. Then you become a critical, harsh judge, not only of yourself, truthfully, which what's that doing to you in here, but also to others. Right. That's a very and then what a um, like what a terrible existence, just walking around that you seek that out too. Like I'm gonna find critical moments of people where they're bailing or whatever. And that's you live, it's such a rigid version of how you could live. Like a you know, like Miss Trunchable walking around with swinging the girl with the pigtails, poor thing. I love that movie, Matilda. You can uphold the law, but you also kill any bit of the Holy Spirit that's in it. Like he does call us to be to have self-control, to raise your activities, your choices, your beliefs, your decisions. But and doing it in that way, like an evil principle walking around, you're killing the Holy Spirit and you're stifling it. Well, because you're sitting there condemning everybody, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Finger pointing.
SPEAKER_00You know that yeah, finger pointing. There's always three fingers pointing back at you. Right, yeah. And you need gentleness because gentleness is gonna give you the heart of grace, it gives purpose to the self-control. So true.
SPEAKER_03And then if you think about a person who is gentle, all gentle, but has no self-control in that, and is then they are simple, like it just turns into weakness. Um, and you're swayed back and forth by every feeling. Because if you're being gentle, then if you have this compassion for this person over here, then then then you're just kind of this an emotional like a wheel tree. Well, yeah, you're just kind of being blown around, or you turn into you know, floor mat, and then people just start walking over it with, you know. I mean, I don't know. It's just the complete polar opposite end of that spectrum. So we need to, you can't wield any power from the Holy Spirit if you don't have any mastery of that, any inner mastery. So we got to find that happy medium of well, not even a medium, you need all of the gentleness and all of the self-control, which neither of them belong to us, they all belong to him. So at the end, it just turns back into abiding in him every single day. For sure. Because in Jesus, that's where we see that perfect blend, right? And so I feel like, sorry, like if you're doing too much of this or too much of that, like that's you trying for sure to create it. Yeah, that's you trying to I'm I'm going to wield the fruit of self-control, but then you forget about it's like, I mean, you're doing this balancing act, there's nine different fruits, and you're trying to wield them all on your own. You're gonna one is gonna overpower the other, right? But when you abide in Christ, like you were just said, then that's a perfect blend of all of them. Super like a yummy smoothie, all mixed together.
SPEAKER_01Oh yeah, hmm. That's so good. So, yes, Jesus, he was the perfect blend, right? And he does, he blew perfect smoothie, perfect smoothie, and he had the ultimate self-control, and I think about that all the time. Like tempted in every way, yet never sinned. Like walked through temptation just like we do every day. And he was so perfect with how gentle he was. A bruised reed, he wouldn't he wouldn't break. Like he it didn't matter what they threw at him. Like, I think back um I was listening to our man 2019 this morning, and he was talking about how when Jesus was um he walked up, he was talking about marriage and divorce, and how the two like Sadducees and Pharisees came at him and one was this way and the other was that way, and they were talking about divorce and how willy-nilly people were back then. And so they were like, What do you believe, Jesus? And he what Philip Anthony Mitchell said was like he had to be very careful, right? Because if he said agreed with this person, it would offend this person, then he'd lose those people. And if he said he agreed with this person, he'd lose the rest of them. And what he said was, have you not read? Like, did you do you not know the truth? Like, and then what he brought it back to too was like you know, going back to the beginning is what he essentially said, but it was just so crazy because I think about that, like that was a lot of strength in him having to, you know, not only be submissive to what the father wanted him to speak in that moment, because you know, they're two and one sitting there together, and he's fully man in this moment on earth in the flesh. And that was a great temptation, just as much as 40 days in the wilderness. Like he could have sat there and be like, Well, you're wrong, and you're wrong, you know, and here's why. But he wasn't, he was super gentle about it, and he always, throughout every situation, um, just expressed so much in such a merciful, gentle, gentle, uh merciful and gentle way. So that that is how the power of the spirit works in us. Same thing.
SPEAKER_00Here's our final takeaway from all these beautiful, luscious, wonderful fruits themselves. A spirit filled life culminates and is complete. Compasses, not in unchecked power. That's what your flesh desires. I just want to do what I want to do, see what I want to see, go where I want to go, have what I want to have, eat what I want to eat, all those things. But rather that spirit-filled life is power perfectly submitted to our Heavenly Father and a loving wielding for others. So not only trying to make your life super abundant in that fruit, but then also pass that on to your children, to your friends, to your family. It's not about only your fruit basket, it's about everybody's fruit basket. Gentleness and self-control display for us God's kingdom. It's the strongest person, is the one who is a master of themselves through the Holy Spirit's power, not through your own. And they are in them, and then they are servant to all. This is the complete opposite of what we see in our culture now. Like absolute opposite. Whatever you feel, feel, whatever your heart's desire, whether, what, and because your heart isn't always rooted in the Lord, but you seek all those things. That's what the co that's what culture tells us.
SPEAKER_03We are talking about zero self-control.
SPEAKER_00Absolute none. What we're talking about is a heart that is yielded to the vine, to our, to our holy, to the Holy Spirit, to Jesus, to our Father God. That is what a fruitful life is.
SPEAKER_03As we close out this deliciously combined grocery list. Yes. Let's do a moment of surrender. So we're gonna look at the two fruits we did today: gentleness and self-control. Because we always end with some self-reflection here, some heart work. Which one do you feel like is the greater invitation for you from the spirit for you in this season? Do you feel like you're all gentleness, no self-control, or all self-control or in no gentleness? Which one do you feel like you need to be asking the Lord for some help, abiding in the Lord through that fruit and asking him to um let his self-control flow through you or his gentleness flow through you to help fortify those inner build up those good walls, not the the V conviction walls. Yeah, build those up victory, not the no-no wall.
SPEAKER_00And make a note of that, like today. Yeah. If you don't have a prayer journal, start one. Yeah, start writing that down because especially I think as you've watched these episodes, or hopefully if you go back and watch, if this is the first one you've seen, go back and check out the other fruit. Cause I promise you, you'll start watching, and one's gonna go like you're gonna literally feel a pierce to your heart of I've been talking to you about that particular thing. Yeah. And that let that be where you start your work and your walk with the Lord. Like, okay, I want to know that. I want to have that.
SPEAKER_03Show me, show me how. Well, it becomes a testimony of his faithfulness. Amen. As you look back and you read, and you're like, Oh, thank you, Lord. You answered this one. This wasn't, you know, oh, but my flesh wanted this answer, so you'd answer it this way. But I really see now why you did the way you did, because again, I mean, the flesh versus the spirit, that's like a constant battle. We're always fighting.
SPEAKER_00This week I was just talking to somebody about a prayer journal. One of the ladies that was helping with the shows, or my boy showed their animals this week. And she said what she always likes to do, especially she's asked and specifically to pray for someone, is she tries to make a note of it or whatever. And when she knows that prayer has been answered, she goes back and highlights it. That's cool. And she said, I'm just so obsessed with going back and like looking. And she's like, Sometimes it's my whole page, sometimes it's only two or three on the page, but it also reminds my heart what I should be praying for, that that hasn't necessarily been answered yet. I'm like, that's just such a pretty picture, though, to go back and see all those highlights. Like, oh man, that was so good. I love that.
SPEAKER_01Well, that's why they say, like, always write it down. Like, yes, I'm not good at that. I know I need to be better. But so challenge for the week, write down your prayers. No, I'm just kidding. Oh yes, please do that one. In addition, in addition to that, focusing on gentleness and self-control, gentleness specifically, because there's two parts to this in one conversation, just consciously like lower your voice voice, change your tone, listen a little more, choose softer, kinder words. Whereas um, for self-control, pick one impulse, whether it's checking your phone, eating, speaking, um anything happen at your child. I don't know, anything um go into check a tally against your husband, whatever it may be, start with a prayer and delay it for like five minutes. And it doesn't have to be a complex prayer, but just something super simple.
SPEAKER_03Sometimes it's just Lord help me.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, help me help. Yeah, and uh just allow the spirit to fortify you, allow the spirit to start building those victory walls back up. So this concludes our walkthrough the fruit of the spirit, but luckily, um the story isn't complete without looking at the opposite of what we've been talking about. So next week we will be um faced with a sobering reality of the fruits of the flesh.
SPEAKER_00It's icky stuff, y'all.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, from Galatians 5, chapter 5, 19 through 21 are the verses. So um, we're just gonna have to talk about that.
SPEAKER_00It's good conversation though. And it's a conversation I think people avoid. Like, you can't talk about the bad things, but you have to put those things in the light because the enemy is counting on you sticking them in the closet and leaving them there. So, like they're your dirty little secret of how you things you handle and things you deal with. Yeah. So these character fruits that we've kind of all now prepared for our beautiful smoothie we're gonna have. I love that visual of like a little Jesus smoothie. They are this final pair we've talked about today, like Madison said, is the end of our fruit dive as far as the good stuff. So next week, like she said, we're gonna dive into what are called fruits of the flesh. So if you want to get a little sneak peek, start looking and finding that in Galatians and let us know, maybe like make a prediction of what you think might or if that you immediately read it and you're like, oh gosh, like I see many of those things, possibly in myself. And then hopefully next week, we're gonna be kind of discussing how we find strength in allowing the Lord to help us master those things, not just us doing it of our own strength, like we've said many, many times. It is not of our own. Thank you so much for coming and growing with us in the armored garden today. We would be so honored to pray for you and your family, any kind of situation that you're going through. We're we're turtles on the ready, ready to information. If you don't know that reference, go check out the armory series. It's really good. It's just to say that we want to be your partners in whatever it is that you are seeking the Lord for, and we want to partner with you in that. So and we're your branches. Yeah. Yeah. We want we're we're growing along beside you, and we want to grow make sure you're going very strong into that. Oh my see, maybe y'all send me an email just now. Hello. But if you that wasn't you emailing, you can email us a prayer request and also join our social community. We have an Instagram and a TikTok at the armored garden. We are so thankful once again that you came here. And we're going to make sure you click like, subscribe, and give this video a thumbs up so you get that Wednesday alert of a new armored garden episode. Tony Man, will you pray us out? Absolutely.
SPEAKER_03Lord, we just come to you and we're just so thankful, God, that we are the branches on your vine, Lord, and that you, Father God, are the gardener, God, and that we could just abide in you every single day as we wake up, Lord, that all of the people listening and all of the people who um will be listening in the future, Lord, that they just see how abundant life can be, Lord, when we abide in you and we just remain in you through all of the things and all of the circumstances that this world throws our way, Lord. We're just so grateful that you even seen us fit to mirror the image of your son, Lord, as we just go through the sanctification process today, that we just want to become more and more like your son, Jesus, that walked the most beautiful, gentle, yet powerful life on this earth, Lord. It is truly um, as we read and learn and dive more into your word just to see how impossible that is for us to do in the flesh. That's how we know that you are working in our spirit, Lord. We love you so much. We thank you, and we just pray for a week of growth in the garden. In Jesus' name, amen.
SPEAKER_00Amen.
SPEAKER_03Can we read numbers? Yes. I got it open. You go read it. Go. Numbers six, twenty four. The Lord bless you and keep you. The Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you. The Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace. Amen. See you next week.
SPEAKER_01See you next Sunday.
SPEAKER_00Ready for Freddy's. Let's go. Ready, ladies? Freddie. Frida. Frida! Frida's don't rhyme now. Yeah, that doesn't rhyme. Okay.