Good Girl Complex Series Recap (What We Learned & Real Life Takeaways)

If you’ve ever felt like you’re doing all the “right” things and still feel anxious, guilty, or not quite lovable, this recap is for you. We sit down at the Table of Grace to wrap up our Good Girl Complex series and name what’s really happening underneath the pressure to perform: shame, people pleasing, comparison, control, and the belief that rest has to be earned.

We walk back through the stories that shaped the series, from Eve’s hiding and God’s gentle questions, to Sarah’s grasp for control when waiting feels unbearable, to Hagar’s wilderness where the God who sees calls her by name. We also talk Leah and Rachel and the way comparison turns life into a moving finish line, plus the Samaritan woman who is fully known by Jesus and still invited into purpose. Along the way, we share what listeners told us hit home most, and what we’re still learning in real time.

Then we slow down with two moments that cut straight to the heart: the bleeding woman who risks everything for one touch of Jesus, and Mary and Martha, where we confront the lie that “good girls can’t rest.” 

Our biggest takeaway stays simple and challenging: the way out of striving is not trying harder, it’s sitting at the feet of Jesus and trusting Him to be who He says He is.

If this series mashed your toes in the best way, share it with a friend, subscribe so you don’t miss what’s next, and leave a review to help more women find a seat at the table. Which woman’s story did you relate to most?

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Transcript

Welcome To Table Of Grace

SPEAKER_00 0:04

Welcome to the Table of Grace podcast, where every woman has a seat, every story matters, and Jesus is always at the center. We're here to create space for real conversations and faith-filled stories that help you grow in your walk with Jesus. So grab your favorite cup of coffee and pull up a chair, because at his table, there's always a seat for you.

Why We’re Recapping Good Girl Complex

Tessah 0:30

Welcome back to the Table of Grace podcast. I am Tessa Lovke with my co-host Courtney Newberry.

Courtney 0:36

I was early on my hello.

Tessah 0:38

That's fine. It's okay. I'm ready. There's grace for that. Let's go. Ready to go. Um we are actually today gonna do a little bit of a different episode, but it's still gonna be about the Good Girl Complex, and we're gonna be recapping some of our favorite. Recap wrap-up. It is the recap wrap-up of the series. We have had so much fun recording the series, and we thought it would be kind of fun to do like uh what we liked best, what was our favorites, what we related to most.

Courtney 1:06

What the takeaway was, yeah. Well, and I I think I learned some things about myself.

SPEAKER_05 1:10

Mm-hmm.

Courtney 1:11

Yep.

Tessah 1:12

I think, yeah, myself and God, I think. Yeah. More so. Yeah. Well, and God in me is what I mean by that. Not yeah.

unknown 1:17

Yeah.

Tessah 1:18

It's good. It was really good. I liked it a lot. Um, and I think we I don't know how many how many weeks. Probably like I think we did part seven was released technically today, and this will obviously be released next week. So we've been doing it for like seven, eight weeks. Yeah, we've been on it for a half minute. A long time.

Courtney 1:34

Um, and so it's been ADHD girls committing to something and finishing it.

Tessah 1:40

We're so disciplined. You know, it takes two. You know, if we were if I was doing displayability, definitely would not be accountability is crucial. Yeah, it is so crucial. Um, especially with ADHD. Anyways, um we're we've made it through. But um I we are gonna walk through a little bit of each episode, but first I would love Courtney to maybe share. Do you want to share?

Courtney 2:03

I do, but do we skip in table talk? Table talk.

Tessah 2:06

Oh no, we don't need we don't need that.

Courtney 2:08

Table talk. You always introduce it, so you say it right.

Tessah 2:10

Otherwise, you call it like table time, which sounds like tool time. It does, it's my 1990s childhood. It's okay. I used to watch that, but that were.

Courtney 2:16

You weren't even born in the 90s.

Tessah 2:18

Yeah, yeah, I was 98.

unknown 2:20

Barely.

Tessah 2:21

I counts. It counts.

Courtney 2:23

My beginning was still in numbers when the 90s were over.

Tessah 2:25

My beginning letters were driving. I was driving. Letters. Almost my beginning numbers were 19.

Courtney 2:31

Almost driving, right?

SPEAKER_05 2:32

I don't know.

Courtney 2:33

I was no, I was in the seventh grade. See, I was 13. You were so young. I got my hardship at 15.

Tessah 2:39

And I mean, we could be sisters. You know, we could.

Courtney 2:44

A poor mother.

Tessah 2:45

That wouldn't people do it every day. Um anyways, table talk.

Table Talk And Real Life Chaos

Tessah 2:51

Table talk. Um, how's your table been this week, Courtney?

Courtney 2:55

You know, um, I think that some tables are beautifully prepared, you know, like I think of like the fine china. Yeah, the hostess with the most tables.

Tessah 3:07

There's like a flower arrangement with hydrangeas. Yeah.

Courtney 3:10

Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And if I've got hydrangeas at my table, it's because I drew them myself and handed them out as play settings. Because that's where my table is this week. Like I am skidding in and sliding.

Tessah 3:23

You got a takeout.

Courtney 3:24

Oh, no, I'm not even the mail. Takeout. I ran to the Dollar General and I And we're having pizza and three legs on the table, and I found a baseball bat to prop up the other side, and nobody's sitting down there because it's gonna fall right at any minute. Yep. It's my table.

SPEAKER_01 3:40

Yeah.

Courtney 3:41

Actually, I'm gonna start packing picnic baskets and sending people outside.

Tessah 3:45

Yeah.

Courtney 3:45

Because that's my table this week.

Tessah 3:47

Yeah, I feel that. It's okay though. We've had like all if anybody, most people who listen to this probably live in Arkansas. It has been like the pollen count has been like a hundred percent mosquitoes are out. Mosquitoes are out. It's getting summertime. We're all like I'm stopped up, my husband's stopped up, my son's stopped up, we're all just battling.

SPEAKER_03 4:05

Yeah.

Tessah 4:06

Jackson was cutting like I don't know how many molars do they have. I don't know, all of them. He was cutting all the teeth this past week. It was nuts, it was crazy. Anything I had planned mostly didn't go well.

Courtney 4:17

We finished our 90th round of antibiotics. I'm exaggerating, but we are coming, and T. We are coming because it is time for tubes.

Tessah 4:26

Oh bless. Yeah, we did that at nine months. I'm thinking, well, we got that over with.

Courtney 4:31

I wish that we would have been younger because we're four and a half. Yeah, an ear infection's nasty. Um is extra on antibiotics. Maybe that's all in my head, but I feel like all the little things he does that make him who he is, you know, like his little quirks and things. Yeah, it's like they get like this nails on the chalkboard level, you know. Um and all of our emotions, he's emotional anyway, but they get really big and loud. Yeah. Um, and like we just destroy stuff. This is actually really funny. We it's not really funny because Nick didn't think it was funny, but I mean, this is it's not funny, but it is. There's he is obsessed with this rock that has a string tied around it. The logic I cannot explain. We're walking into the house, it's on the bench in the garage, and he takes it without looking behind him and slings his arm behind him.

SPEAKER_01 5:18

Oh no.

Courtney 5:18

This rock that bounces off of Nick's truck.

SPEAKER_01 5:21

Oh no.

Courtney 5:22

Like, that's the level of destruction that we're at. And then, like, doesn't see, like, oh, I hit your truck with a rock.

SPEAKER_05 5:29

Oh no.

Courtney 5:29

Like, doesn't get that that's problematic or not our normal usual behavior. But I could also be imagining these things, but I do think that antibiotics put us there.

Tessah 5:38

Yeah, probably, probably, probably. Um, well, with all that, well, you could just if uh if your table's like this, we see you. Yeah, yeah.

Courtney 5:48

It's okay if you're buried under it. We'll come find you.

Tessah 5:51

Yeah, it's okay. It's okay. I send a flare. Yeah, literally. Um, and for those of you who are having a great week, send that our way. Yeah, we'll take the prayers. We'll take

Listener Feedback And Favorite Stories

Tessah 6:01

it. Um, but I would love, Courtney. I know you we've got some really cool feedback from people who have listened to the series, which is really encouraging. We love to hear all the things and that you guys can relate to the podcast series.

Courtney 6:12

It is, and so like I just kind of visited with people who I knew had been listening, and if you know me, I'm not afraid to ask how are you? And I don't really do surface level conversation well.

SPEAKER_05 6:23

Yeah.

Courtney 6:24

Um, and so like I just kind of checked in on some people who I knew had been listening. Um, and one of my friends uh responded, I haven't got to finish listening yet, but I can tell you it is the most relatable thing that I have ever listened to. Um, and I was like, Man, I'll take that. I did ask my dad because my dad's an avid listener.

SPEAKER_05 6:41

I love that.

Courtney 6:42

Um, and his favorite was the bleeding woman, which no, I'm sorry, that was my husband's. My dad's was this uh the woman at the well.

SPEAKER_01 6:52

Yeah.

Courtney 6:52

And just kind of sitting with the space of like we're never too far gone for God to use us in a story.

SPEAKER_01 6:58

You know, that's good.

Courtney 6:59

No matter how far we've like messed up or screwed up.

SPEAKER_01 7:02

Yeah.

Courtney 7:02

Um, and then Nick's, I asked him, and he said, you know, the bleeding woman, you know, like just that desperation to get to Jesus because that's the thing that changes it.

SPEAKER_01 7:13

That's good.

Courtney 7:14

Yeah. Um, and then I had another friend that I checked in on. I'm gonna I'm gonna read hers. She told me to make it all eloquent, but I think it's perfect the way that she said it. Uh, she said, Leah and Rachel for sure, not in that I worship my husband, but because FOMO just gets in my way. And I feel like these two have big FOMO for each other.

SPEAKER_05 7:34

Yeah.

Courtney 7:34

For example, there's something that I feel like the Lord has really been working on me with, but then society says the exact opposite. So then I want to be like, well, Lord, how about I do this one thing first? And then once I get done with that, then I can go all in. But it never stops because society is constantly telling you that you need more, you need to do more, you need to have more your kid in more. And it just you just keep getting pulled and pumped into you, and everyone is telling you you need to do all those things, and so I feel constantly torn. And I was like, you know, how many times have I f my FOMO or my n struggle with comparison and then projected it onto merit? Yeah. You know, and that was what the conversation she and I had last night. Yeah, it was good. And then I had someone else say, Let me find it. I really got a summary from her. She said I could listen to these every day. I relate the most to the first one, which was Eve. Um, and then the second one was Sarah trying to control the narrative, but I also feel Hagar and feeling unseen. I'm better now about feeling like others' lives are better than mine since I'm not on social media as much. Good for you, girl. I think my favorite was the bleeding woman. Like, slap me in the face, good, hurt my feelings in a good way. She crawls to him knowing that if once she touches his clothing, she'll be healed, and I want that kind of faith.

Tessah 8:54

Mm-hmm. Yeah, it's good. I love those. Same. Those are really good. And uh, we're still waiting to get more, um, because there's a few people that we know have listened, and so I'll probably post some of their responses just so you can kind of see um what everyone's favorites was um or were were.

Courtney 9:09

Um I love when we hear back like we're mashing toes. Yes. That God's using us to mash toes. Yeah, you know?

Tessah 9:15

No, for sure, because I get my toes mashed when I'm getting this. I'm like, ooh, yeah, oop, that's hard. Yep, put it home. I'm gonna say it. Yeah. Saying it because it's true. Yeah, for sure.

Our Biggest Series Takeaways

Tessah 9:26

Um, so we did seven parts of this, and I kind of wanted to recap each of those, and so we can kind of talk a little bit about each one, a little summary, and then like kind of like what part of God's character kind of showed out. Like, what did he say, and like what was his response um in regards to the women and the their situations in that way. Because he still responds to us the same way, we just have to choose to hear it and see it and feel it. Yep, yep, for sure. So good. Um, I think also I maybe we should say our favorite. I was gonna ask what yours was. I think Samaritan Woman, which I still had, I had a lot of bias going in because I also just really love that story. Um, because there's so much um there's so much context to like and so many layers to it. Um there's a rich history in it too. Yeah, it's so good. And um I just love how Jesus just like does not care about social biases or you know, things that are just so man-made, like he just cuts like he I mean he just cuts it with a knife. Yeah, he doesn't he's like, I'm gonna I'm going to meet my daughter, and I don't care what other people think about me.

Courtney 10:43

I love the and if we look, you know, at these these characters and other characters, I love how Jesus uh intentionally chooses who he chooses to reveal and build relationships with. Because if he revealed that he was the messiah to a Jewish man, people uh probably it's not the credibility piece changes because if he is the messiah, then it would make sense uh in their world that he would review reveal himself to a Jewish man, but he chooses a woman, a sinful, struggling woman.

SPEAKER_05 11:20

Yeah.

Courtney 11:21

If you're gonna choose someone who's unlikely, then you have to question that.

Tessah 11:26

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Uh yeah, I I just I love her story. And I love that he just fits people's attention. Yeah, he it does. They listen. Yeah, it really does. And he like he not only reveals his himself as a Messiah to her and creates this intimate relationship with her, he also makes her basically she becomes the first evangelist. She responds in evangelism and to share and proclaim.

Courtney 11:54

Well, people believed in him because of her. Yeah. She she went and told everyone. Yep. Like unashamed. He knows everything I've ever done.

SPEAKER_01 12:02

Yeah.

Courtney 12:03

And they're like, Yeah, we do too. And she's like, Yeah, let me tell you about it. He knew it.

Tessah 12:06

Yeah, yeah. Isn't that crazy?

Courtney 12:08

And he still spoke to me.

Tessah 12:09

Yeah, so good. Yeah. He was so good. Um, so I let's go through what wait, what was yours?

Courtney 12:16

You know, I I love Hagar. I talked about that in the beginning just because I think when I think about like personal experience and the piece of feeling so unseen. Um and but the bleeding woman was probably my new favorite discovery in looking at things in a way that I had never looked at them before. Yeah. Um you know, I think that we get and I hate saying this, we get complacent when we read the Bible, especially like if you've done it a lot or you've heard the stories a lot. And so you lose some of those really important like context of thinking about her having a hemorrhage and what that would do to your body and the desperation piece that comes with that. Um kind of like that, you know, one of our listeners had mentioned like the crawling, like what's the level of desperation in that? And do I get that way? That was my big my big takeaway. Am I am I crawling to him? Yeah, or am I just complaining? Am I coming in prayer? Am I on my face, or is my pride in a way?

Tessah 13:27

Yeah. Yeah, that was a really good episode. I love that one. It's my new faith. Yeah, it's a real and like what's so cool too is like, and I think that I can definitely get prideful in a way of like, oh, I've read that story, or like I know that story. Or like it. And Holy Spirit has just convicted me, I mean like all the time, of like, yeah, you can never you can never read it enough. Like there's not a point where you're like, Oh, yeah, I got it. And I think we can like get the concept, you know, like we can get it, but like God still has things to teach us through it.

Courtney 13:59

Well, and you get a new lens in which you see the world, like with Hagar, like I've read it over and over and over, but I haven't ever read it as a mother with the way that we read it.

Tessah 14:07

Yeah.

Courtney 14:08

And that's completely different.

Tessah 14:09

Oh, for sure. And I mean, in so many different seasons of life, like and just it even throughout like our sanctification, how God has grown is growing us, and if you're under discipleship, which you a hundred percent recommend that you should be, um, I think like you continue to grow and you continue to learn and see things in a different way. And so like even like reading this individually, but also reading it in community. Yeah. It has so it has so much power to it. Um, and we can always learn something new.

Courtney 14:39

Absolutely.

Eve And The Roots Of Shame

Tessah 14:40

Um so the first episode we did was Eve. Um, and we kind of obviously positioned her as she was like the first good girl. She was. Yes, she was. Um because that shame piece. Mm-hmm. Yep, shame and guilt, and then partial truth and hiding. Um covering up. Yes. I don't want to be seen the way that I am.

Courtney 15:01

I want to be seen the way that I want you to see me.

Tessah 15:04

Right. Absolutely. Um, but there's a lot of hope in how God responds. Um and I love how he responds. I know, isn't that cool? And he's so he's so good. And he doesn't do it with condemnation and um shame. He opens it up with, you know, where are you?

SPEAKER_03 15:22

Yeah.

Tessah 15:22

And who told you? And he asks these kind of questions not out of condemnation or shame, but to actually seek out because he has this relationship with his kids. You know, like yeah.

Courtney 15:34

Right. Well, and I think that like if we think of that like in like a parenting context, right? So the father, yeah. Well, if you were a parent and something that you wouldn't your kids not ready to know, or you don't want them to know because maybe of their age, or it's like an adult concept, or like if you discovered something that would be hurtful or harmful to them, yeah, you know, um, and they and you find out that they are aware of it, and uh it's almost like that's like the the the visual I get like modern day, like who told you that?

Tessah 16:08

Yeah, yeah. It's a very sorrowful. Where are you? Yeah, you know? It's like we yeah, we don't want I I mean I the protection piece is what really resonates with me. Yeah, for sure. I mean, this obviously we know how awful the world is and you want to protect your kids from it, but also position them to be able to live in it, you know, at the same time.

Courtney 16:27

And so I think I'm thinking developmental, yeah. Like where some you can't understand something like a you know, merit it for somebody shows him something on television that he shouldn't see. Right, that would oh it would bust me.

Tessah 16:39

Yeah, you know, yeah, it's awful. And you want to fight someone. Um God fights our battles. Right, absolutely. Um we let him. Yes. Um and so we see that God kind of positions himself as he's obviously the father and he he meets them where they're at versus shaming them. And obviously, like yes, there are consequences that we see to that sin, but he even in those he does out of love. Like he he takes them out of the garden because he loves them.

Courtney 17:09

Well, and he's still protecting them because there are other things there.

Tessah 17:12

Yep. Yeah, yep. Anyways, that was such that was a really good episode. And I love that, like we kind of also see the roots of how the enemy tempts us, how he is malicious, how he's a liar, and how he still does these same things to do.

Courtney 17:28

So there's a little bit of truth in it. Yeah. Not that he can hook us.

Tessah 17:31

Yes, partial truth that yeah, that begins a lie. You know, it's and he's not like the enemy can't he's not God, so he can't create things. He can't create new things. He's doing the same stuff he's been doing, you know, in just different ways.

Courtney 17:46

And he takes our insecurities and plays on them.

SPEAKER_01 17:49

Yep. Yep.

Tessah 17:52

Yep. I'll leave. Um, but I I love that because it does really give us that framework where we're able to like kind of follow we follow the rest of the series kind of from that too, is out of that shame that we can all experience in different ways.

Courtney 18:07

And it's not because we're obsessed with shame. I need to I think I need to say that because that's a theme that comes up really regularly when we talk, but I think that as much as we bring it up, people are hiding in it ten times more.

SPEAKER_05 18:20

Yep.

Courtney 18:21

And the only way for us to overcome that is to let it come out into the light and surrender at the feet of Jesus.

SPEAKER_01 18:30

Yep.

Courtney 18:31

And if we don't talk about it, then it stays in the dark.

Tessah 18:34

Yep.

Courtney 18:35

So let's tear the walls to shame that.

Tessah 18:37

And I think that's a part I know we've talked about.

Courtney 18:39

Burn it down.

Tessah 18:40

Burn it down. Burn it down.

Courtney 18:42

We ride it on.

Tessah 18:43

We write it on. Get your short. Um, I think that's a lot of my lot of my story, and stuff that I still have to like remember, like Romans 8.1, you know, like there's no condemnation in Christ Jesus, and like guilt and shame are not from the Lord, you know, like, and I think I have to remind myself that all the time because I walked in cycles I lived in cycles of shame and guilt and shame for a long time, and finally breaking free out of that, you can kind of see like oh wow, God didn't God didn't want me there. You know, like that was not his best for me, and that was not my best for me either. And so I think if the enemy can keep us if he can't if he can't humiliate us publicly, he will try to tear us down privately before I mean I'm I honestly like that's and then keep us so busy that we worship ourselves in our calendar. Yeah, that might be a whole nother podcast episode. And also guilty. Yeah, same for

Sarah And Trying To Control

Tessah 19:39

sure. Um next, part two with Sarah, which um Ah Sarah.

Courtney 19:45

I love her too though.

Tessah 19:46

Yeah, you know, and I think we're really quick to judge her, but she was going through it too. You know what I'm saying? Like she was living a woman's worst nightmare in the modern and in the age that she was in the timing uh of her life, like in ancient, you know, Middle East, whatever position, I obviously I think they were in the middle of the year.

Courtney 20:06

Geography was really good. I have no idea. I mean I'm actually good geography.

Tessah 20:09

Geography is really bad. I'm I'm just guessing, just based on where North is always in front of me. Always in front of me. Where's the sun at? I don't know. Um, but like in her lifetime, like there was a lot of weight on if you could bear kids or not. And you know, she's struggling with infertility, she's confused, God's called her husband, she follows her husband, um, and you know, trusting God, leading them.

Courtney 20:37

She's literally uh I don't want to use the word gypsy, but you know, yeah, a sojourner, I think was the word that we talked about. Yeah, sojourner needed that vocab to fire up for a second.

Tessah 20:49

Right, yes. Um and I think really what we learned from her story is that your worst decision cannot cancel God's promise. His character doesn't change because you're still growing.

Courtney 20:59

You want to hear something really cool? Um, so someone had listened to this episode and in real life, and I was having a conversation with them. Um, and I was worried about something, and her response to me was it doesn't matter if you messed it up, because if it's meant to be, God's gonna take care of it anyway. Isn't that what Sarah episode was about? Like literally like hey, a ding. And I was like, Oh yeah, that's totally what we talked about.

Tessah 21:28

Yeah, that's hilarious. No, yeah, don't you love when Jesus people Jesus duke you with your own? I'm telling you, telling you. It's tough. Um I needed it though. Right.

Courtney 21:37

It was real in my feels.

Tessah 21:38

Yeah, no, I feel that. Um, and like God's response to her situation is basically saying, Is anything too big for the Lord? You know, is anything too far gone for me, or is anything too big for me to not do? And basically, because she was at this elderly age, God has promised them a son. She had not yet Gotten pregnant. Hijacks it. Yeah. I yeah. Obviously, if you go back and listen, so they make a lot of mistakes.

Courtney 22:06

Um, but his will didn't change because of her mistakes.

Tessah 22:09

Right.

Courtney 22:09

Yeah. We don't have the power that we trick ourselves into thinking that we have.

Tessah 22:13

Yeah.

Courtney 22:14

Right. Yep. Or Satan tricks us into thinking that we have.

Tessah 22:18

Yeah. A little bit of both. One of the lines uses against us, yeah. Yeah. Um, but yeah, he still God still uses her.

Courtney 22:28

And like when he says, you know, is anything too big for God? And we can say that all day long to each other. In the context of this story, like, she laughs. And it's not a hee-hee hee, no. It's like a psh.

SPEAKER_03 22:46

Yeah.

Courtney 22:47

It's it's a disbelief. It's a laugh of disbelief. Like it's laughable. It's so unbelievable.

Tessah 22:54

Right.

Courtney 22:54

Um, but God loves to be set up like that for his glory to be shown.

Tessah 22:58

Mm-hmm. Yep, for sure. And he also calls her out on it, which I think is kind of funny. Um yeah, but Sarah laughed. And she's like, No, I didn't. No, but you did. But you did. But you did laugh. Yeah. Um, and then she does have a baby, and it's uh obviously a really cool story because from that God's promise is fulfilled, and we see from Abraham to Isaac to Jacob and beyond, we get Jesus, and because of Jesus, we are all his adopted kids. So obviously a really good ending to that story.

Courtney 23:29

I love that you said and beyond, and I was like, she's about to do lineage.

Tessah 23:33

I know about to sing it, I'm about to wrap it. I don't have that memory. I should memorize that though. That would be fun. That would be a fun party trick. Right? Yeah.

Courtney 23:44

I can't say all those names.

Tessah 23:46

Yeah, I bet I could win a gift card if I had a memorized. You know what I no listen, one that literally happened to me one time. We I was in a leadership retreat, and um I think I don't know why, but I was like, I'm gonna memorize everybody's names, because you know, like, why not challenge myself every day of my life? Um, and I was like, I'm gonna memorize everybody's names. I don't know how many people we had like over 40 people, and I had like 24 hours to memorize everybody's names. Um I didn't know this is actually gonna be a thing that was asked, like, does anyone know everyone's name? I didn't know that was gonna happen. But I literally memorized everyone's name, and the speaker the next day, uh like we were just talking about random stuff, and then he goes, Does anyone have know everyone's name? And I was like, Me. I'm the nerd that memorized everyone's name for fun because I got bored and I needed to challenge myself for some reason, and I was like just like like naming everybody off, and I got twenty dollars. So hot cash like two shad racks, okay. Anyways, so um that wasn't not related at all. But um my phone just zapped. There it is. Oh, there you go.

Courtney 24:49

That's where the my notes are.

Tessah 24:50

Oh, yeah, you gotta have that.

Courtney 24:52

Yeah, and then I just couldn't get it to

Hagar And The God Who Sees

Courtney 24:54

work.

Tessah 24:54

And then one of Courtney's favorites, part three, Hagar, um, living under the pressure to perform, um, or be good enough for God to show up. And we talked a lot about um how God meets Hagar in the wilderness and calls her by name. Twice meets her there.

Courtney 25:13

And different times, let me try this again. I have words that work. Two different occasions with two different outcomes, yeah. And he she knows God after the first one because shit's when she names him the God who sees.

SPEAKER_05 25:27

Yep.

Courtney 25:28

And I think the new insight for me in this story is I had never really thought about how much she no voice and no choice.

SPEAKER_01 25:36

Yeah.

Courtney 25:36

Um, nothing was her own.

SPEAKER_01 25:38

Right.

Courtney 25:39

She was she wasn't even a passenger. She was the the luggage.

SPEAKER_01 25:45

Yeah.

Courtney 25:46

She was the wagon.

SPEAKER_01 25:47

Yeah.

Courtney 25:48

Um, and I hadn't ever really sat with that before. Like the the God who sees piece was always the heavy piece, and I think that um that was in a season before I got married. And did you forget me? Like I'm still here, you know. Um but I think that just understanding how uh uh much she wasn't her own person and didn't get to say, and anyone who knows me knows I have lots to say. Um so I can't imagine what that would feel like, you know. Right. And when she runs from him the first time, she doesn't know him.

SPEAKER_01 26:27

Yeah.

Courtney 26:27

But when she runs from him the second time, she lifts her face and cries out, yeah, and he meets her there in that. Yeah because she remembered the first time, because he is the god who sees, and she knew he saw her.

Tessah 26:44

Yeah. So good. Um and also she's the first person to name God, which I think is pretty cool.

Courtney 26:51

Yeah, again, a woman, a slave woman.

Tessah 26:54

Yeah. Yeah, a low statue. Unlikely. Yeah, unlikely. Um it also just like it's such a reminder that like you don't have to be this. It's just like God wants to use the lowly. And I think a lot of times we want to be so high, like we want to be up on this pedestal and think like we need to be in this position in order to be used by God. And God just wants us to be, I mean, like, in the Beatitudes, like be like, be meek and be like uh Matt Chandler actually was talking about this in this episode. But he talked a lot on that the episode, his recent episode with the parries that I've talked about like five times now. Um, but he talked about this, and I was thinking about yesterday's like he's like be low but stand up.

Courtney 27:36

He talks about the coil.

Tessah 27:37

Okay, yes.

Courtney 27:38

Okay, so like because I was listening to this this morning. He talks about how that like God uses this kind of like a coil and it's not a straight line and it moves, but he can't use me in my highs if I haven't experienced my lows. Because that's where I'm learning about who he is.

Tessah 27:53

Yep, yep.

Courtney 27:54

That's where he's changing me.

Tessah 27:56

Mm-hmm. Yeah, it's such a good episode. Go listen to it. I didn't like it because it's so good. It's like I'm telling you, it's just one of those ones I'm gonna have to go back and won't listen to it on a long drive because it was so good.

Leah And Rachel Comparison Traps

Tessah 28:05

Um and then next we see uh the sisters, Leah and Rachel.

Courtney 28:11

Um before we recorded that episode, I told Tessa I was like, listen, I'm an only child.

Tessah 28:15

Right.

Courtney 28:16

And I don't have a sister or any siblings. But I do think that like, you know, as women we struggle with comparison. And I can't imagine how that would feel if you have siblings that are immediately under the same roof as you, and that would just be married to the same man, absolutely. Yeah, like let's complicate it beyond all complications, you know. This is not a well and like married to the same man, not because the same man wanted both of you, but because he had to marry you so he could have your sister.

Tessah 28:49

Right.

Courtney 28:49

Because that's who he really wanted. Yeah, you know.

Tessah 28:51

Um and and your father set you up. Man, it's just yeah, maybe set you up for failure.

Courtney 28:56

Man, it was a it's uh therapy was a thing back then, you know.

Tessah 29:00

You would definitely be in business, Courtney. Oh man, I don't know. I don't know if you'd want to deal with them. You might want to pass up that.

Courtney 29:06

No, I want to help all the people, but I just um I don't know that I would be capable of what I was thinking.

Tessah 29:11

Yeah, yeah, I don't know. Yeah, only God had to fix this one. Um but uh in their story, we see obviously a lot of jealousy and a lot of um basically comparison in in this, like if t I get what she has, I'll finally be okay, or I'll finally be happy, or I'll f this belief that a lot of us have is that if I get X, Y, and Z, or if my husband finally loves me enough, or if or if my circumstances change, I'll be okay.

Courtney 29:42

Yeah, that ebbs and flows like the ocean tide, yeah. And you know, give it a minute and it's not gonna be cool and fun and trendy anymore. Or maybe it's a big heart desire. Um, but at the end of the day, our our needs have to be met in God, and the rest flows from that.

SPEAKER_05 30:03

Yep.

Courtney 30:03

And when things of this world are the finish line for us, then we're missing out.

Tessah 30:10

Oh, yeah, for sure. We're getting caught up in the things that are not eternal, for sure. And I think that also makes us miss out on the people that God wants to draw to himself.

Courtney 30:21

Well, and we're missing out, and we're gonna get called out if you're a believer. If your finish line is something of this world, some marker that has been set, um, whether by you or by a person or someone that you know and love, if it is of this world and you are missing out on God and you belong to him, he will call you out of that. Yeah, he will get your attention in it, yeah. Um, and he will remind you of the main thing being the main thing. Um and so I think that if we can check ourselves, yeah, when that happens, okay, is this important to me because this is God's will for me, or is this important to me because this is Courtney's will? Yeah, that's why Courtney's got a strong will. Yeah, same gets in check a lot. The Lord has to check me.

Tessah 31:07

Same. I get humbled all the time. Um and what's really cool about Leah and Rachel's story, although all the chaos that feels like a reality TV show. Um I'd probably watch it. Yeah, right. Like it's it's like Sister Wives on TLC. Yeah. Um, but like worse. Yes. God still uses Leah and Rachel. First off, they their children are the twelve tribes of tribes of Israel. How cool is that? Really cool. Um, their whole family is still kind of a hot mess, as we see in the story of Joseph later on. But God's family isn't a hot mess on some level.

Courtney 31:43

Right.

Tessah 31:43

You know, like it's God still uses them though, which is so cool. And we see even uh Leah through her son Judah is also in the lineage of Jesus, which is pretty neat.

Courtney 31:52

I and this was the first insight for me. Now, how I missed this, I don't know, you can judge me, it's okay. I didn't if you if I would have been on Bobble Jeopardy, if that's a thing, um, which don't volunteer me to do that.

SPEAKER_01 32:06

Trivia, Bobble Trippy.

Courtney 32:08

Yeah, uh well, if someone would have said who Adam Lea and Rachel's kids were in the lineage of Jesus, I'd have been like, it's Rachel. She was the favorite one.

Tessah 32:17

You would have thought Joseph. Because that's easy to think. Yeah. But he it wasn't.

Courtney 32:21

No. Isn't that interesting? I know.

Tessah 32:23

Now, Joseph, though, if you look at his story, I'm gonna nerd out for a second, it has a lot of similarities to Christ. It is honestly kind of crazy. It's one of my favorite stories, um, because of just how much I mean I'm I'm gonna make my dad write a book with me because he is like such a Bible theology nerd. Um, he literally can just like constantly relate, like he can just draw he's one of those people that can like read scripture and draw the lines really fast. Um and so he we and him can sit and talk about hours about how Joseph's story relates to Jesus. It's so cool. If you ever want to, if you're ever like instead of scrolling TikTok tonight, do some Googling and maybe just disconnections.

Courtney 33:03

Disconnect your TikTok. Right, it's not doing you any good.

Tessah 33:06

Right, it's just increasing your spending time. It's it's not good. Um anyways, say that to say God still uses Leah and Rachel. I mean, they're both of their kids are still the tribe of Israel. God has a lot of plans for the 12 tribes in Revelations, like they're still a big part of the story, you know, like they're still a big part of that, and they we obviously obviously see the whole nation of Israel built from those. So it's really cool.

Courtney 33:31

Um and I bet that when they were fighting over who gets um Jacob tonight, that they the last thing they thought about was how God was gonna use their children to create a nation.

Tessah 33:44

Right, yeah.

Courtney 33:45

Because I don't think I would have thought about that. I'd have been when we have that comparison piece in the way, yeah.

Tessah 33:50

You're so caught up in it.

Courtney 33:51

Yeah, your your mirror's looking at the wrong place.

Tessah 33:54

Yeah.

The Samaritan Woman Fully Known

Tessah 33:55

Um, next, uh, we kind of hit on this earlier, but the woman at the well obviously loves so much of this. Um, Jesus tells her that he is the Messiah, he's a she she is the first person that he reveals his messiahship to. Um, and she responds as an entire evangelist and becomes like the first evangelist that tells everyone about this guy that knows everything she ever did, and then multiple people come to know Jesus from that situation. From her, instead of him calling her out and c condemning her, he calls her to himself. And I think that's such a cool reminder of how God wants to meet us. Like he he's not waiting to throw a rock at you. No, he he got hit with a like you know, he took the suffering so that we didn't have to, you know.

SPEAKER_03 34:44

Exactly.

Tessah 34:45

Um, and so like he that's just the type of God he is, and I just always love this.

Courtney 34:49

Well, and fully known. Yeah. Like you don't have to clean up.

Tessah 34:52

Yeah.

Courtney 34:53

And and if you were in a season where you were trying to clean up before the Lord, um stop. Yeah.

unknown 35:01

Yeah.

Tessah 35:01

I think so many people stay stuck in not committing their lives to Christ because they think they have to have it all together before and like that's actually the quite the opposite. Yeah, like he wants he wants us to run to him and be like fully who we are. Yeah. And like he after that, it's his work to and like he wants to change us to become more like who he is. But that first step is just running to him, you know, and just saying, like, here I am, like, I'm a sinner, I've made mistakes, I'm you know, I'm a mess. Like he is not like you're not too messy for him.

Courtney 35:42

No. Well, and and and I think that if we keep the parental lens, because we are his children, if I think about if something Merritt has done that has hurt him or harmed him, maybe he didn't mean maybe he's not listened and broke a hand or an arm. I don't want him to fix his own hand and arm before he comes crawling and screaming to me.

SPEAKER_05 36:04

Right.

Courtney 36:04

I want all of it. I want it immediately. Come to me. Let me protect you, let me try to take care of you. If you're scared, come to me. Don't try to fix it on your own. Talk to me about it. Let me know. Let me do my parental job.

Tessah 36:18

Yep.

Courtney 36:19

And God's no different.

The Bleeding Woman Desperate Faith

Tessah 36:22

Yeah. How much more so does he love us? Uh, next, Corney's new favorite. My new fave. Um, the bleeding woman. Um, I think I named this one. Uh I'm trying to remember what I named it.

Courtney 36:35

Did the bleeding woman give you the did you realize that's not well I don't want people to not listen because it says that, yeah.

Tessah 36:41

I don't know. I I also I I think I named it uh I had some help from the AI on here. But it's like when you have nothing left but faith. Yeah, it's a true story. I that was a little bit better for I mean my marketing person's coming out, but for like searchability, like faith and yeah, anyways, but I did love her story and Courtney talked a little bit about what you loved about her story.

Courtney 37:03

Uh well, and I think that her story um was super relevant to me because you know, the when I had married I had a pretty significant hemorrhage and almost died. And so I think about, you know, what I physically felt. Um, I mean, Nick pushed me around a hospital in a wheelchair for two weeks because I couldn't walk. I had like no strength or stamina. Um, and she couldn't either. You know what I mean? Like if she'd been bleeding for twelve years, I mean like she she was tired.

SPEAKER_01 37:37

Yeah.

Courtney 37:38

And I would your blood pressure gets low and you're dizzy and you're nauseous and you're a fall risk, which is why she crawled. And I think that that is just the the what are you willing to do to get to him?

SPEAKER_01 37:54

Yeah.

Courtney 37:55

What are you willing to do to just to get a touch of a tassel?

Tessah 37:59

And do you believe that he can do it? Yeah. Yeah.

Courtney 38:02

Well, well, because the physical requirement to do what she did, I think that's the piece that it's that second lens like I didn't have before. Um the physical requirement to get to him is uh proportionate to the amount of faith that she had because it risked not just the social stuff that we talked about, you know, like here's this woman who's unclean. Yeah, but the physical cost of it. Yeah, because you're moving slower. It she wasn't allowed to be in town, so she it would have taken her, and I don't know, this is just me like thinking a significant more amount of time to get to him than it would have someone who was upright and walking and of good health. Yeah. And so and ceremonially clean. Exactly. Yeah, that's okay. Yeah, because she was having to hide as she moved into town.

Tessah 38:55

Yeah, yeah.

Courtney 38:57

And that just it sits on me and yeah.

Tessah 39:01

And I love how also he calls her daughter. Like he just meets her so relationally in who he is and calls her this intimate name. Because she is his daughter. Yeah. And um and just like heals her on the spot and doesn't shame her, doesn't I mean there's just like there's just no shame there. Like, there's just just I feel like this weight that's lifted in the presence of Jesus that like is no isn't you can't find anywhere else. No.

SPEAKER_03 39:29

And we fight it.

unknown 39:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 39:31

I shake myself sometimes. Courtney, what are you? You're doing it again.

Tessah 39:35

Yep. Next is Mary Martha.

Mary And Martha Learning To Rest

Tessah 39:39

This is uh this is the last one, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 39:42

Yeah.

Tessah 39:43

We just like as we're recording this, I just released this today. Um, which I'm a day behind, so don't sue me for that. No one's suing you. Oh put your attorneys up. I didn't for real. Um, but Mary and Martha, um, uh Courtney uh has a really good like I feel like spion. This is like we all have a lot of we have a lot of Martha, a little Mary in all of us.

Courtney 40:08

Yeah, and well, and I think that we all kind of exist on this spectrum, um, depending upon who our audience is, yeah, um, how what the pressure is, um, what the the stakes are, yeah. And we desire to to be intimately known like Mary, um, but we get real far down on the Martha spectrum.

SPEAKER_01 40:31

Yeah.

Courtney 40:31

And it's hard to to get back to that space if we're trying to do it on our own accord.

Tessah 40:36

Yeah, and I think we it's so easy to get caught up, especially as women. Like, there's a different pressure there. I think I think men struggle with this in a different way, but like there's a lot of pressure to be to do, and the more valuable, the more I do, the more valuable I am. It's this like lie that we can easily like walk in. And we see Martha doing this exact same thing. We see her believing that in order to be loved or accepted by Jesus, his disciples, she needs to be doing all the things that traditionally was required of her or expected of her. And again, we see Jesus turn up, turn tradition on its head, and is like, no, Mary, or Martha, stop.

SPEAKER_01 41:13

Mm-hmm.

Tessah 41:14

You're anxious about so much. Come sit with me. Yeah. Just come sit with me.

Courtney 41:18

It's all your anxiety is telling me you need some time with me.

Tessah 41:21

Exactly. And it's honestly, it's kind of funny when you think about it. It's like Jesus could literally just make bread out of thin air, or like turn a rock into bread. It's like Martha, you don't need to be cooking a fish. What are you doing, girl? You got yeah, God with you in your presence. Calm down. You know, and I think that would that I can relate to her so much. And if I could pick anyone I'm most related I feel related to, isn't Martha, is just like that the constant um desire or temptation to be doing and busy and like finding value in that, and then also falling into the cycle of that and and forgetting that like, oh, like I'm God doesn't need me to do anything. I'm not there's not anything I have done that hasn't can tear me from his love, you know, like and also there's nothing I can do that will make me any more valuable to him.

Courtney 42:12

Well and and in, you know, in the good girl series of things, she is in the good girl series of things, I totally forgot what I was gonna say.

Tessah 42:26

I was talking about Martha and um how she uh gets caught up in the more that I do, the more I do the more.

Courtney 42:35

Good girls can't rest. Right. Right? Isn't that the lie that Satan tells us? Yeah. Yeah. Get busy, go serve, do this, cook for these people, clean your house, yeah. Be perfect. Right?

SPEAKER_01 42:50

Yeah, yeah.

Courtney 42:52

And I think that that's why Martha is so relatable, because I think that if, you know, I like data, so if we could measure a common lie that women believe, yeah, I think that that's probably at least top two.

Tessah 43:07

Oh, for sure, yeah, yeah.

Courtney 43:09

I think right behind I'm unlovable.

Tessah 43:11

Oh yeah, for sure. I think and what's crazy too is I think a lot of I know for me, I always say I'm like a recovery and control freak. Um that because because that means that it could still come up.

Courtney 43:22

But I totally You're in recovery from your perfectionism, right?

Tessah 43:25

Exactly. Is the way exactly it's like recovery alcoholic. I'm never not going to struggle with it. I just have to not be not fall into the things that can cause does that make sense?

Courtney 43:37

And the further I spend time like Mary, the further I get away from sitting at the feet of Jesus, the bigger that gets. It's inversionally proportional.

SPEAKER_01 43:48

Yeah, yeah.

Tessah 43:49

Mm. Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's good. Um, and I think that's the that is the answer to the question that we're asking, I think, in the Good Girls. series is like, okay, how do I step out of the cycle of guilt and shame and striving and people pleasing and feeling like I'm not good enough, feeling like I'm unlovable, feeling like I have to do all these things in order to be loved by God, loved by people. And the answer to to that is to be more like a position like Mary.

SPEAKER_05 44:20

Yeah.

Tessah 44:21

Like are you sitting with Jesus? Yeah. Are you are you believing what he says about who you are and who he says you are to be true. And have you dug enough into his word and into scripture to really know what he says about who you are.

Courtney 44:35

And do you trust him to be who he who he is?

SPEAKER_01 44:39

Yeah.

unknown 44:40

Yeah.

Courtney 44:40

Because I think that we spend hours or at least I do in my head of minor monologues roll out. Yeah, man, she needs to sit down. She needs a time out I I want to outthink and to outrun any sense of struggle that I could see coming.

SPEAKER_01 45:03

Yeah.

Courtney 45:03

And I have been able to do that some. So like then Satan uses that and reinforces that I'm capable. But I'm not.

SPEAKER_05 45:15

Right.

Courtney 45:15

I'm capable because God allowed me to be and that was in his will.

SPEAKER_05 45:18

Yeah.

Courtney 45:18

For me. Yeah. Not because I out thought it or I saw it coming and planned ahead or I executed well.

SPEAKER_05 45:25

Right.

Courtney 45:26

Or you know I figured it out before the next person did.

Tessah 45:30

Right.

Courtney 45:30

That's that's not that's not why. But those are lies that we believe.

Tessah 45:34

Yeah. We think we have a lot more control than we do.

Courtney 45:36

And the more time I spend like Mary at the feet of Jesus, the less my brain thinks like that and the more peace I have.

SPEAKER_01 45:45

Yep.

Courtney 45:45

But I have to be willing to surrender that.

Tessah 45:48

Yep. Yeah and that's the hard part.

Courtney 45:50

It is hard.

Tessah 45:51

And I think it's also not this thing where me and Courtney are sitting here and we're going, we have it all figured out like that's actually part of the truth.

Courtney 45:57

Honestly sometimes I'm like they're probably going to stop listening if you keep being honest about this. If you keep being vulnerable they're going to stop listening.

Tessah 46:05

Don't yeah right yeah I think it's I think it's I love I love the vulnerabil vulnerability and transparency because I think it's so true. Like we are all a work in progress and I think God is constantly shaping us and teaching us um and you know doing doing the work in us for us to be more like him and like that's the goal. It's the end of the day to be more like Jesus and to love God and love his people in a way and sometimes that almost always means us dying to ourselves getting out of the way and letting God use us um and being you know selfless in that and that's a discipline I know I have to I have to commit to that every day. Like I have to have that I have to make that decision every day.

Courtney 46:50

Well and like I talked about in the Mary and Martha episode um I did it again.

SPEAKER_01 46:54

Right, yeah.

Courtney 46:55

And not like in a fun like Britney Spears way like in like this Brittany. No. Not Britney no it's a Courtney way. Yep. And I did it again.

Tessah 47:07

I should I I I that needs to be the intro to this episode. That would be funny. That would be funny. I won't do that to y'all. Um but I yeah I think that's it same like I've you feel like you learned a lesson or you've got it figured out air quotes and then you look in the mirror and you're like oh whoops here we are.

Courtney 47:28

My figuring it out isn't forward it's backwards. And so like I need to stop saying I figured it out. I need to say God has given me the hindsight to understand. Yeah right because A it's not me.

SPEAKER_01 47:40

Yeah for sure.

Courtney 47:41

B it's not because I figured something out moving forward it's because I understood what he was doing now that I've walked through it.

Tessah 47:47

Yeah for sure yeah yeah it's Holy Spirit hindsight not 2020 hindsight.

Courtney 47:52

Yeah well and I can't expect myself to figure things out yeah because I'm not supposed to right yeah for sure if I'm figuring things out then I'm not relying on him and I'm being Amartha.

Tessah 48:04

And trying to be a good girl.

Courtney 48:06

Yes.

Series Wrap-Up And Connect With Us

Tessah 48:07

Yes well we hope you guys love this series as much as we enjoyed recording it. I feel like I learned so much about myself I learned so much about these like women that we talked about in scripture and I learned so much more about God and that was the hope that we had for you guys is that you could learn um maybe something about yourself that you didn't know before and something about God you didn't know before and something about the women in the Bible that you didn't know.

Courtney 48:34

Go deeper.

Tessah 48:34

Yes yes definitely challenge you to dig even deeper into these stories and read them for yourself if you haven't got to um and if you haven't told us already let us know what you thought about the series. We would love to know um we're at Table of Grace on Instagram and the Table of Grace podcast on Facebook. And obviously if you know me or Courtney in our real lives um feel free to stop us in Walmart or somewhere at the gas station.

Courtney 48:59

You can call me I've had the same phone number since I was 15.

Tessah 49:01

Alright same right yeah it's kind of scary if I never had it and it's still there. It's still the same one. Yeah um it's honestly kind of crazy about having a phone number that all um but feel free to send us a message like we would love to know like what you thought about this series and feel free to request what we should do next because we're still figuring that out.

Courtney 49:19

So we'll get there we're figuring it out.

Tessah 49:21

We're figuring it out we're gonna ask we're gonna sit at the bait of Jesus we're gonna pray and ask the word we're gonna spend time with Mary. Yep yep that's what we should do that's love y'all yes and we will see you next episode bye