Recognize and Rejoice with Ali Durham

Ali is a delight.  She keeps you laughing with so many varying experiences throughout her life.  Living the artists life, she directs, writes, produces, acts, creates voice overs and even cooks delicious food.  You can find her work at her and her husband's production company, Martian Studios - see link below.  With all the fun an artist's life brings, it also brings struggles and challenges which we all can relate to on some level.  Making hard choices, living with and overcoming rejection are just some of the hurdles through which Ali has found solace and strength in the Lord.  Enjoy her stories and rejoice with us as we see the hand of the Lord in her life. 

https://www.martianstudios.com/

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Hello everyone. Welcome to Recognize and Rejoice, where it is my honor to rejoice with you as we recognize the hand of the Lord in each of our lives. I'm Megan Jorgensen, and I'm excited to meet with you again to rejoice in the Lord through the stories of our lives. I would like to recognize and thank our sponsor, Coach Katie Swim School, which helps keep our episodes available indefinitely. Welcome to Recognize and Rejoice. This is Megan, and this week we have Allie Durham on our podcast today. And I know Allie, I actually don't know you very well. I just know you from my ward, and I just love you. I see you is a light and so bubbly. And I feel like when we've talked, I'm like, yes, I agree with everything that you have just said. All I know about Allie. So I'm so excited to hear her stories today. And she'll start us off with telling us her stage of life, what she likes to do, what she's doing right now, and then when she decided to follow Jesus Christ, followed by a number of stories where she recognized the hand of the Lord in her life. And then we'll end with our questions. So Allie, take it away. Let us know who you are.

SPEAKER_00 1:17

Okay. Well, you know my name, Allie Durham. And uh the stage of life I'm in, I have older kids. My youngest is a junior. I have a middle child who's on a mission currently for the church in Alabama. He's Spanish speaking there. And then I have twins that are 24, and one of them is married, and one of them's going to BYU. And uh so I'm almost an empty nester, and it feels really weird. I definitely don't feel ready to be in that stage of life, but uh we're still busy. Um, my daughter, who's going to BYU, lives at home, so she can save on rent, which a lot of young people have to do these days. And uh we have my son who's a junior, he's still with us. And our house is a is kind of a hub. So lots of people come in and out, and we get lots of visitors and people stay with us from time to time. So I still have a very busy household, and who knows what'll happen over the next few years. Maybe it'll get so quiet and empty that I'll just have to like go crazy and go move in with someone else. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 2:24

I see your house staying the hub, Allie. I see people coming home all the time.

SPEAKER_00 2:29

I hope so. In in my heart, I hope so. Sometimes I get a little frazzled like everybody does, but you know, the the true things that we value are definitely the family connection. So let's see. Things that I love to do right now for my work. I'm an actress and a voiceover artist. And also my husband and I own a production company called Martian Studios. And so, in that capacity, I also direct, I write, and I produce. And I still sometimes do voiceover and stuff for our own company if we have certain projects that need those kinds of things. I even do cooking for our company. So one of my hobbies that I haven't made a serious profession yet, however, I have uh professionally been certified is later in my life, I went back to school and I got certified to be a personal chef. So I went through culinary school. It was always a bucketless dream of mine because I've been a foodie ever since I can remember, honestly. And I really wanted to do that, but I always pushed it way to the future, thinking, well, there's no time limit on that. And I can do that in my 50s or 60s, but there's a time limit on the acting career. So I should probably do that first. But the opportunity arose back in, let's see, that would be 2019. And the spirit told me, now's the time, just get into culinary school. And I thought, oh my goodness, I have all these, you know, young kids and teenagers at home. And at that time we lived in Spanish Fork. And I thought, that's not possible. Why is the spirit telling me to do this? I can do this later in my life. But the Lord, He just has plans, you know, and there's no getting in the way of his plans for you. So I followed that prompting and I signed up for culinary school in Orim through UVU, and it just all worked out so well. I was home by pretty much the same time the kids were home every day from school, and I got to see them in the morning before I left. And my husband started working from home just around that time. And so everything just came together and was the right thing. And then shortly after that, I had some culinary opportunities that were really neat that I was able to participate in with confidence and with credentials. And then we made a movie about a chef and I starred in it. So it all came together.

SPEAKER_01 5:14

That is so cool. And it's so true. When the Lord's hand is in it, things just fall in line. Like your husband working from home at that point, the school hours being just right. I think just work. I love that.

SPEAKER_00 5:31

It's true. So I love to do that. Some of my hobbies, apart from work, uh, I love to garden so much. I love to raise my own food because, of course, I want to cook really quality ingredients. Yes. So I'd like to raise vegetables and fruits, and I have chickens that give me eggs, and I really, really want bees, but my husband is really scared of the neighbors getting stung and stuff like that. So he's like, I don't want you to have bees, but I'll get them. One of these days, I'll get them. I'll be like, they won't bother anyone, trust me. Uh so bees, and I would love to get, I don't have one yet, but I would love to get a milking goat. That would be fabulous. Then I can make cheese and all kinds of fun things and use the milk, but that is definitely one of my hobbies. I also love music with all my heart, and I played the piano and something funny recently. So I haven't played really for 29 years. Seriously, I played in high school, and then when I left the house, that was kind of the end of that. And I only just played the hymns or played here and there or whatnot, or accompanied myself for singing sometimes because I like to sing as well. And finally, since all my kids are almost up and grown, I decided when my middle child went on his mission, you know what? He's leaving, and he's leaving an empty spot in his piano teacher's schedule. I'm gonna take that spot. So I signed up for piano lessons after 29 years. And it has been so fun and so challenging. You know, the brain works a little differently when you're in your, let's just say, 40s. Yes. And it's been wonderful, actually. I'm really enjoying it and I'm enjoying the challenge. I had to do my first, it was Christmas time that I had to do my first recital after 29 years. And I thought, hey, I'm ready for this. I could do this. It's I'm an adult now. I'm, you know, I'm experienced and I'll be fine. Well, I got there and I sat down at the piano and I just white as a sheet, I just blanked it out and I looked at all the people waiting to listen to it, and I just got scared, basically. I just froze up and got scared, and I felt like I was 12 years old again at a piano recital.

SPEAKER_01 8:02

It was so especially with all of your acting experience and like you are not afraid to be in front of people at all. And then you just revert back. You're like, oh my gosh, I'm 12.

SPEAKER_00 8:14

Yep, that's all exactly. And then I realized, okay, here's something to talk about with my therapist. What is the issue with piano performance? Anyway, it's been good.

SPEAKER_01 8:27

That was just a very recent thing then, because your middle child just barely left then. That was right.

SPEAKER_00 8:33

He left in July in this last July. So I started basically after he left. And then I had my first piano recital in December. And my next one is coming up this spring in a month.

SPEAKER_01 8:50

I was gonna say the spring recitals, they're coming.

SPEAKER_00 8:55

I'm nervous, but I feel a little more comfortable now that I got the first one out of the way. I feel a little more confident. Like, I'm not gonna choke. I'm just gonna, you know, say my mantras and just get it done. Yes. Oh, I love that. I love it. Uh, other things I like to do. I'm trying to think of other hobbies. I do have so many hobbies. I'm one of those people, it was really hard for me to choose a major in college because I just loved so many things. And someone would tell me about things that they did, and suddenly I'd be like, that sounds like the best thing in the world. Maybe I should do that, you know. But one thing I knew I always wanted to do was act, and I had forgotten how early that had come into my life as something I wanted until my mom about a year ago sent me a text. And it was a text of a picture done by a little girl, and it was this scrawled, you know, looking with the head is too big like a balloon, and the arms are coming out of the head, and you know, and it was a lady who was a fancy lady and she like had a boa on and lipstick, and it said uh the top of it was in print saying, What do you want to be when you grow up? And I it was scrawled out in kid letters, I want to be an actress, spelled all wrong, and things like that. And that was from kindergarten, and I didn't even know that existed. And my mom sent that to me. She's like, Look, this has always been something you've wanted to do.

SPEAKER_01 10:32

It's like, Wow, I guess you're right.

unknown 10:34

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 10:36

That is precious. That's why we keep those things. That's why, as moms, we have big boxes of all of our little kids' stuff because someday it is so true.

SPEAKER_00 10:47

I have a big file cabinet basically of my kids' job, and I'm really excited to hand them that box someday, like when they have their kids and be like, look, this is your history.

SPEAKER_01 11:00

Yes, so yes, I have it too, and my mom had it too. And I'm so grateful because it is our history and it was important, and it is important. These are the things that made us who we are, you know?

SPEAKER_00 11:13

Yeah, it's true. And actually, that came at a good time because acting is a really difficult career. It's one of those ones, it's basically how to take rejection 101. So if you're not very good at receiving rejection and judgment, and judgment, then it's not the best career for you because basically you are what can I compare it to? A piece of meat at the market, you know? It's about how you look and how you sound and how you deliver yourself. And almost always they're looking for something very specific. So most of the time you're not the right fit. And only some of the time you are the right fit. And it has very little to do with your level of talent and things like that. Because a lot of uh factors come into play when they make their final decisions. And you just have to learn to first of all be assessed on surface things, and then also deal with lots and lots and lots and lots of rejection. And every once in a while you get those fun projects where you do get to participate and it's great. And that's that's what actors have to do.

SPEAKER_01 12:26

Wow. That's a world I do not understand. I always wanted to be on stage, and I was in a school play, but that was the end of my career. I was in one, I was in the end. That's awesome. That is so awesome. Yeah, I think that oftentimes you don't realize how much work a career that you have not chosen really is, you know, and the difficulties of that career. So I thank you for pointing that out because I think that a lot of us don't understand the rejection and the that does come with acting and all of the ups and downs and the struggles that I'm sure that it is for you, for actors in general.

SPEAKER_00 13:12

Do you mind if I share a story on that point?

SPEAKER_01 13:14

I would love you. That's the whole point of this. Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_00 13:19

So uh just for example, and of course, you know, most people who are attracted to something like acting and performing in any of the kind of performance arts are usually creative types. And creative types have a lot of empathy and have tender hearts. And so I don't know why they're in this industry because it's like one of the hardest industries ever. But, you know, you just can't help yourself because you just really want to give to the world in a certain capacity. But I had my heart set when I was young, younger. I had my heart set on a certain role that I had always wanted to play. And I studied that character. I read books about her. I thought a lot about her. I envisioned her life and what it must have been like. Well, the church was making a movie, and I had the opportunity to audition for that character, and I was so excited. I was like, this is this is it, this is the whole thing. And in my head, it's very hard to balance having an acting career with being a mom and stuff like that. That's another story I may tell. But um, but it was very hard. And one thing that you're always looking for is like the validation from the Lord that you're doing the right thing. And yes, so at that time in my life, too, and this was before I had fully 100% learned to prioritize correctly or judiciously. And so I was still kind of serving two masters and getting frustrated and like, oh, I don't know, I'm feeling guilty if I went to an audition, had to get a babysitter and, you know, things like that. And then going back and forth, where I'd be at home changing lots of diapers and thinking, oh, I wish I was out auditioning, you know, and it would be back and forth and back and forth. And, you know, the scriptures tell us that you cannot serve God and ma'am, and you cannot serve two masters because you'll hate the one and cling to the other. And that's exactly what was happening in my life. And so when this opportunity arose with the church, I told myself, as we always do, because we want to make excuses to have our cake and eat it too all the time. And I said, this is it. This is how the Lord is gonna make it all okay. Because if I start working for the church a lot, then that will justify all the time I spend away for my family and my kids, you know?

unknown 15:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:59

And it'll be the perfect union that I'll be a missionary and also being an actress and also getting lots of work and da-da-da-da, you know. So in my head, I had told myself these tales. Well, it just so happened that they really liked my audition and I got through callbacks, I got through second callbacks, I got through third callbacks, I got to a screen test. And in my head, I'm thinking, man, this is really gonna happen. I'm a shoe-in. This is crazy. And so I go through the screen test and went really well. It went super well. And I'm thinking, this is great. And then they called me in for another screen test. And I'm like, oh my gosh, wow. Yeah, I might as well just plan on it, you know, calendar it out. And after that one, I remember my scene partner who was doing the scene with me, he seemed a little tired. He wasn't really giving it his all. And I was like, Well, I still did a good job, but it just didn't have the quite the same energy or whatnot. And he actually apologized afterwards and said, I'm so sorry, I've been really tired today and I didn't give you my all and you know, whatever. And I was like, ah, that's okay. They've seen me before, and it'll be fine. Well, as I was walking out of the building, I got a prompting from the Holy Spirit that said, You are not getting this job. And I was like, What? They haven't even made the decision yet, and they're seriously considering me. There were like five casting directors, and I know that at least four of them were dead set on me. And the spirit said, No, you're not going to get this job. And I was crestfallen because for me at this point in my life, it was so important to me. And it just seemed like the right path. How could it be the wrong path? And I needed this leg up as well for working and things like that. I needed the not the press, but the attention, I guess, and the the work, because basically you're only as good as your last gig, is how they say it in the biz, which is basically like people want to know that you're working fairly regularly. And if you're not, then you get forgotten quickly. Yes. And so there were just so many reasons why this was so good. And when the spirit told me I wasn't getting the job, I just argued. I was like, um, no, this is perfect for me. I've always wanted to play this character. I am perfect for this character. Okay. Um, and it's for the church. Hello, how much better could it be? And I just knew somehow, without even being told, I just knew I am not getting this. So that night I was in tears. I was like crestfallen, not knowing what to do with myself. And in the morning, I decided, super early in the morning, I decided, well, I don't want the Lord to feel like, you know, I only love him or care about him based on what he gives me. So I'm gonna get up really early and I'm gonna go to the temple and serve in the temple because I don't want to be that person who doesn't get what she wants and then is just like fine, I'm not going to church, you know. So I got up at 6 a.m. and I went to the temple. It was the Provo temple that is now being demolished or has been demolished. And I didn't know what I was gonna do, but I walked into the temple and I saw the little sign, the little placard on the front desk saying patrons needed for ceilings. And so I thought, well, I guess I'll go do ceilings. And I just went up there. And my heart was very heavy at this time because it was a real struggle, because it also was making me question my future, like maybe it's time to give this all up and to just focus on being a mom and figure something else out, you know. So I went in there, I went to do ceilings, and while I was there, there was a couple in there and doing ceilings, and they kept like looking at me and whispering and stuff. Like, what's the deal? And they kept smiling at me, smiling, and I'm like, oh, stop smiling at me. Like I was like, you know, when you're you want to be in your own little cave because you're all mad or depressed or crying or whatever, you don't want anyone to look at you, you just want to like be alone in your grief, you know? Yes, totally. So I was like, oh man, stop trying to be my friend. And then so after the the ceilings were done, I went into the celestial room to ponder and pray and basically just be a crybaby and cry in there. And I went in there and there was no one in there, and I was like, oh, good. And I just broke down in tears. Like I couldn't help myself. I was like, Lord, I don't know what to do with myself. I don't know why I have these yearnings, I don't know why I have these talents, even like I didn't ask for this, and I thought this made so much sense. And why is this not gonna be? And I still hadn't been officially told I wasn't getting it, but I just knew. And I was crying and oh, feeling sorry for myself. And in walks this couple, and they kind of pat him gently, and they come over and they she pats me and she's like, Oh, are you okay? And all I'm thinking is, Oh my gosh, leave me alone. I'm like, I do not want to chat right now, and I don't want to tell you my life story, so you know, just please go away. But I didn't want to be rude. So Was like nodding and smiling, like, oh, it's it's nothing. It's it's really, I mean, you know, no one's dead, no one broke their leg. It's it's just a silly personal issue, you know.

SPEAKER_01 22:10

No one's dead, don't worry. Yeah, totally.

SPEAKER_00 22:14

And so I got up hurriedly to leave so I wouldn't have to keep talking. And I went out to the stairs and I started stepping down the stairs, and they followed me. They like ran after me and followed me to the stairs, and they stopped me. And I'm in my head now, I'm thinking, this is ridiculous. I didn't have catch a hint, people. Well, they stopped me and they said, uh, listen, I think you should know. Well, first they said sometimes it really helps to talk about these things and share these things with someone. She said, My husband, he was a stake president for years, and we have 16 children.

SPEAKER_01 22:56

Holy cow.

SPEAKER_00 22:57

Yes. And she said, Um, I have two sets of twins, and I have a set of twins too. So I was like, Whoa, two sets of twins. Dang, girl. She said, I have two sets of twins and they're both on mission. So I have four out on a mission. And she said, Um we came early to the temple because last night my husband had a dream that we had to go early to the temple, and he saw you crying on the stairs, and he came to comfort you and give you words of comfort. And so they recognized me in the temple from her husband's dream. I just immediately felt like the worst person in the world. I was like, wow, the Lord cares about me, me, and this stupid first world problem. And he got this sweet couple up out of their beds early in the morning with all these kids at home, and they lived down in Santa Quin. Wow. And got them up so early just to come comfort me. And I just never felt the love of the Lord so powerfully. And I sat down with him, I told them the whole thing, and he gave me some beautiful advice. And uh among among the advice was uh to go get a blessing for my husband. And so they were just wonderful, and you know, we were hugging each other by the end and we were all in tears, and it was really beautiful. And they said, Hey, please let us know. Just call us or something, let us know about what the end result is because we want to find out if you get the part. I'm like, I will, I will. So we parted that day. I never saw them again after that. I did go home and I got a blessing from my husband, and it was a beautiful blessing. The Lord promised me that I had really neat things to do for him still, and that I needed to continue applying my faith and uh prioritizing properly, but continuing to do what I was doing and some other lovely things. And I was feeling really good that day. I had a soccer game and and I made this amazing goal from all the way across the field. I was like, today I'm indestructible. It was just incredible. And um I never saw them again, but then I did get the news from the casting office that I had not gotten the part. So I called them and I let them know, and I just thanked them for everything. But it's because the Lord had prepared me to receive that news. I I already knew. And so it didn't hit me as hard as it would have if it come out of the blue. And I just felt at peace because after I realized that God cared about me so much, and He did care about what I did for a living. And just knowing that was enough to put my heart at peace regarding whatever opportunities or whatever roles I might play or might miss out on playing or whatnot. Yeah, it was just a beautiful experience where I saw the hand of the Lord specifically in my life in an unexpected way. Because in my mind, I had foolishly made this barbed wire fence between the acting career, my relationship with God, and my desire to be a good wife and mother. And the truth was the Lord has a mission for each of us, and we have gifts and talents given by the Spirit, and He expects us to use and magnify those things. But as long as we properly prioritize, then those things are serving one and the same master. It's not two masters, it's just one, it's him, and that was a lesson that I needed to learn. And after that, I decided irrevocably first I'm a mom and then I'm an actress. And that made my life so much easier. It just made everything so much easier because then I didn't worry about losing opportunities or whether I was getting out there or that, you know, things like that. If my kids really needed something, uh, if they had a performance or if they had a recital or, you know, or a sports thing, or even just a birthday, or something that was really important to them, it gave me the license to say, oh, I can't go to that audition, or I'm sorry, I won't be able to make that shoot date. You know, I have something else I have to be doing. And to just let it sail and not worry about it because I knew that number one, my job was in the home. And I loved that because it relieved me of so much stress. And I was able to focus on the children, on their education, on their opportunities, on building a loving, an unconditionally loving relationship with them and building memories in our home and things like that, and creating a place where the gospel could be taught concertedly in our home. And it was great because then they didn't resent uh every time that I had an opportunity, they'd be like, That's so awesome, mom. Good luck. You know what I mean? It was just a totally different dynamic than if you're always kind of contending or making them feel guilty for holding you back or you know, being irritable with your kids because you're not being able to do this. And then when you're doing that, then you're pining for them, and you know what I mean. It just takes that away. And I was just grateful for that lesson.

SPEAKER_01 29:14

I think that's a really powerful lesson because it's not just with acting, but it's any career. There's as many desires as there are people, you know, like as many talents as there are people. And we do have these desires to accomplish so many things. And they are given to us as gifts from God to accomplish and to do and to create and to become in whether you're an engineer, whether you want to be a lawyer, or if you want to be someone who helps in charitable organizations, or if you want to be a teacher, or if you're drawn to politics, or if you're drawn, whatever you're drawn to, I love how you mentioned that it becomes one and the same. It's all serving the same master and um and just keeping your priorities straight and and checking in. I I feel like for me, I just have to continually check in and be like, okay, Heavenly Father, I I want to make sure that I'm still prioritizing correctly. Have you had that experience where you're like, oh, I may have gone off on this a little bit and I need to re-prioritize? Or have you been pretty straight arrow?

SPEAKER_00 30:25

Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. Um, you know, after I learned my big lesson that initial time, it was still not perfect. And also Satan likes to use things that are good for us as temptations that are bad for us. And so you're constantly having to recalibrate and reorient your compass and be like, okay, I let's try this again, you know?

SPEAKER_01 30:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:55

And yeah, yeah. So it's been adjustment over the years. I feel like right now in my life, I'm at a good balance and I feel more comfortable with that relationship and that realm in my life. Um, but it was definitely a learning curve. Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_01 31:12

Yeah. And I love how you also mentioned that your kids cheered you on. Like when your life is in perspective and or when your priorities are are correct, I guess. I wonder if that's just a natural occurrence. I don't know. I'm trying to think of my own life. I don't think my children cheer me on. Well, they're young. They're still early. They're still young. I love that it becomes a family experience. Like you're cheering your kids on and they can turn around and cheer you on. Like you come together not just as a parent child. That relationship is always there, the parent child um roles and responsibilities and such, but within those roles and responsibilities, you can be cheerleaders for each other in your goals because we're all spirits that have lived for a really, really long time. And we all have unique gifts and talents. And we can cheer each other on as co-experitors on this earth. That made no sense to delete that part. It's a good new word. Experiator. But I just I like that because I do look at my children and I just I'm so excited for them. I'm so excited for the choices they get to make and the life they get to live and who they are, and discovering what their spirits are like and being partners in this life together. Like I get to be the mom, yeah. And there's things that I've learned in my experiences that have helped me be their mom. But really, we're just in this together and cheering each other on. I just really obviously liked that sentiment because I have grasped onto it.

SPEAKER_00 33:06

It's a good sentiment that I think many women, especially these days, wrestle with. I know my um one of my nieces has wrestled with it. She's a brilliant mind and um went to BYU for programming and had a lovely career ahead of her. And she is a really good teacher and a really good worker. Like she does well in the work environment. And she definitely had to wrestle with it. And when she had her first child and everything, it was difficult and she didn't know what to do with herself. And, you know, little bouts of depression and things pop in. I mean, that happened to me when I first had my twins, and I had not made that decision yet. I got really depressed because it was very hard to not be able to do what I wanted to do and what I felt called to do. And then somewhere along the line, I realized that also the greatest calling is the calling of creation. Then your second callings are awesome after that. You know what I mean? But I had put too much in my pride and in my hubris, I had put too much weight in my calling as an artist, you know? And I think a lot of people do that. What is whatever their spiritual gifts are, it's it just becomes too important to them, if you know what I mean. It is always important, but there's nothing more important than God's work. And God's work is creation and increase and progression. And he asks us all to participate in that. So if you're not personally progressing, or if you're not participating in creation or helping someone participate in creation, then we start to lose our fundamental self, which is the soul, you know? And then things get out of balance and get all wacky, and we start putting other weird beliefs and justifications in our head. Wow.

SPEAKER_01 35:05

See, this is what I meant at the very beginning. I talk to you and then I end up just saying, yes, I totally agree with everything you're saying. But I do want to hear more of your stories. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_00 35:16

Okay, let's see. So speaking of the artist's life, we had a time when we were producing a TV show for BYU TV. But my husband and I were still in the throes of corporate life. We learned uh Tom worked for a corporate studio, and I was still freelancing as an actress and voiceover artist and being a stay-at-home mom. And we got this job, freelance, which was really exciting and really awesome. And we were thinking, hey, maybe this is our big break where we can cut ties with corporate and start our own studio. This is many years ago. And so we quit our comfy corporate job in which we could expect a paycheck every two weeks.

unknown 36:02

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 36:03

And all of the health benefits and whatnot. We quit that and we started producing this TV show for BYU Broadcasting. And we created the show and did the first season, and it was great. And everybody was super excited. And we thought, okay, certainly they're going to contract us for the second season. Well, they waited and deliberated and they said, you know, don't take other jobs and other offers because we're still trying to figure it out. Well, his old work uh offered him money to come back and said, Hey, we're having a hard time filling your position. If you come back, we'll give you a raise and, you know, tried to entice him. But BYU Broadcasting said, no, don't take any jobs because we're we're probably gonna do second season. So we turned down other things. Well, they finally gave us a contract, and the numbers were just so low. We were like, uh, we're not gonna do this. And my husband's like, we can't do the show with this. So he told them, this is not, I don't think so. But it was unfortunately, I think their kind way of trying to to maybe edge us out or something like that, because I think they had another producer that they had in mind that they wanted to use. And so unfortunately, we were left high and dry, and all of our employees didn't have a job anymore, and we didn't have a job anymore, and we didn't have opportunities anymore either. And we at that point in our lives were like young, married, and our kids are little, and we didn't have any savings to speak of. We were just living kind of hand to mouth at that point, and so we were in a situation. Well, previous to that, when we were doing that first season of the show, we were making good money, we had no reason to have a food storage. But I started getting this little antsy feeling from the spirit. Put together a four-month food storage. I'm like, oh maybe later, you know, I kept getting this feeling, kept getting this feeling. And then there was a lesson in Relief Society on preparedness, and they were saying, you don't need a year supply, but you can at least do three or four months, and it's totally doable. And here's how you do it. And for some reason, I was wrapped attention on that lesson. Like for some reason, I'd heard many other lessons on preparedness that I kind of dozed off in. But for for this day, I was like, yes, yes, I need to do that. And that was obviously the spirit, you know, urging me, uh, despite myself. And so I decided I'm gonna do that. So previous to this snafu with the whole work situation, I had built up a four-month food storage. Well, now here we were, unemployed. And we were unemployed for four months. And I used every bit of that food storage, and other crazy, miraculous things happened. My blender broke and I use the blender a lot. I use it for making things for the kids and special um from scratch treats and stuff because I don't buy a lot of processed food or junk food, and I didn't feed myself or my family any refined sugar. And it broke and started smoking. Well, I kid you not. An hour later, I hear a knock at the door, and it's my sister at the door with a blend tech. And she said, Oh, um, my husband's been working on set with blend tech, and they gave him one of the model ones, and it's brand new. So you want our old one? And it wasn't even that old. And I was like, Yes, did you not know that our blender just broke? And so now instead of this old crummy austerizer, I had this state-of-the-art blend tech for free. Um Wow. Yes. And then another thing, um, I mentioned we didn't eat refined sugar, and I really wanted to stick to that because once you learn something that's true and positive, you really don't want to go back to how the way things were, you know? And so I was praying and I was like, Lord, I really want to make my kids a family night treat. I just want to so badly, but I'm out of alternative sweeteners and they're really expensive, and we have no money right now. And so I was praying. Well, a little while later, I hear another knock at the door. And it's our friend from another neighborhood from a previous ward we were in. And she said, You know, a long time ago you brought me a cake on this platter and I never returned it to you. So here is your cake platter, and here's some brown rice syrup, which is one of the sweeteners I use for my cookies. And she's like, I didn't know if you were gonna use this or not, but I knew you were kind of like healthy type. And so I went to Good Earth and I just saw this on the shelf and I thought, maybe she can use this. Well, it was the exact ingredient that I needed. Whoa. Yes, and things like that just kept happening. Um, it was incredible. The Lord sustained us all through that four-month period, and then we were able to get his old job back at a pay cut because they were a little salty. Yes, yes, but still we were so fortunate to have it, and we were able to have that job until we lit out on our own for real and started our studio and and everything like that. But it was just, you know, you pay your tithing and you listen to the spirit and you do your best, and the Lord just takes care of you. That's what I've learned. He just takes care of you. And you may not be overflowingly wealthy, but he will take care of you and he will fill your needs.

SPEAKER_01 42:05

You could have been so bitter at BYU broadcasting. As you told that story, I was kind of mad for you. You had so many other opportunities, and they were like, no, don't do it yet. And then they gave you something you couldn't even do. You could have been so mad at them, but you weren't. You accepted life the way it was, and you didn't get mad. You're like, whatever, this is life. And you were able to see the hand of the Lord in your life through the trial of those four months. You could see that the Lord prepared you for this. And then He blessed you with all of these people who brought things to you. And I do have to say, those stories make me think, I really want to listen to the spirit more and be that person who brings things to people and is there for people. We can be really helpful to people as we listen to the spirit. Because I've had stories like that where people just show up and I'm like, am I that person? Am I that person that's just gonna show up to somebody because I feel the spirit telling me to do it? I love these stories, they're so empowering to me.

SPEAKER_00 43:14

That is such a good point. And I I feel the exact same way. Again, we agree. Um I actually feel a little worried sometimes if I'm missing out on some of those opportunities. I feel like there are certain seasons of my life when I was really good at that. I think right now, in this season of my life, I need to repent. I need to be better at asking the Lord every day, who can I serve? Or if I have just a minute or I'm in the car and I have a minute and just saying, is there anyone I can see? Is there anyone I can text? Is there anyone? You know what I mean? I need to be better at that.

SPEAKER_01 43:50

I like that. I I do too. I want to be. It's not just I need to be, I want to be. I want to be that person.

SPEAKER_00 43:58

Yeah, me too. I I do want to be that I have the best intentions in the world. Ah, if only I could uh live up to them. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 44:08

Right. Yes. Yes. Awesome. Kate, you have another story for us.

SPEAKER_00 44:15

Let's see. I do. Oh, this one. Okay. When I was but a lass, I was single. I was going to BYU, and my parents up and sold our ancestral home in Concord, California, and moved to Grants Pass, Oregon. And I was like, do what? Where do I go home now for holidays? You know, it was so weird. But they did that, and because it was actually a great situation, they moved into like an attache home with my sister. So they got to be together on like four acres in the forest. Super cool. And then shortly after they moved up to Oregon, they went on a lifestyle mission to China and left the country. And I was like, whoa, where's my parents? I think I'm only 18 at this time. Holy cow. Yeah. So they went and did that.

SPEAKER_01 45:14

And are you the youngest?

SPEAKER_00 45:16

I am the youngest. I'm the youngest of eight.

SPEAKER_01 45:18

Okay. So they like waited for you to leave and then they just like took up and took off. Yep. Peace out. See ya. Okay. And can I just tell you something really cool? I lived in Concord until I was eight. And then when I got married, Tim's grandma lived in Grant's Pass.

SPEAKER_00 45:38

Are you serious?

SPEAKER_01 45:39

Yes. So like both of those sounds are really important to me too.

SPEAKER_00 45:44

So awesome. So yeah, um, I was up at college and I realized I don't know where to go for the summer break. Like I don't know what to do or where to go. And so my parents, they called from China and they said, um, hey, we've lined you up with a job out here. Why don't you come out to China and live with us from April to August? And you can work and save up money for college and whatever. And I was like, okay. I had never had the desire to go to China previously because I thought I was more of a like European kind of girl. But once I got there, I fell in love. Fell in love. I was like, whoa, this is so cool and so different from anything I'd ever experienced. And even the toilet paper is different. Yeah, it was really neat experience and really fun. And I taught English at a couple different university summer programs. And I also did acting work and modeling work. And it was super fun. Like the first day I touched down in Beijing, literally the first day. I get off the plane, my parents introduce me to a Chinese friend of theirs, and we go on a walk in the city, and a guy comes out talking really fast and all excited and talking to our friend I was walking with. And she turns to me and she says, um, he wants to do a photo shoot with you for a magazine. And I'm like, what? And she's like, Yeah, he wants to do a whole layout for this magazine. Can you do it? And I was like, sure. So we went up to his studio. I got in makeup and we just did this whole photo shoot for Friends Magazine. And that was my first day in China. I was like, I'm gonna like this place. And it was true. We I did a lot of media work while I was there, and it was super fun and really interesting. But that's not the story. The story is that uh we attended a branch in Beijing, and it's a branch that had to meet at an old um office building, and it was just made up of kind of expatriates and people who worked at the embassy and people who were there on business and things like that. But currently in communist China, you cannot preach anything from your church. You can't really even talk about it with people. At least when we were there, we weren't allowed to talk about it with people. And you're not allowed to invite anyone to church. That's Chinese. And so um it was mostly just made up of other people and uh people who were maybe there from Taiwan or Hong Kong or, you know, other places. There were a few young adults in the area, and a lot of them were students, and some of them were doing similar things to what I was doing, where they were teaching English at different places and stuff like that. Well, there was going to be a branch activity for the young adults, and it was one of the expats' homes who worked for the embassy in this really nice neighborhood where it's kind of the special, like for Americans only type neighborhoods where it's not like anything like the rest of China, but it's like this little walled neighborhood, and they actually have like ovens in the houses and stuff like that, you know? And uh I was not very familiar with the city and I didn't speak Chinese at that point. I hardly spoke any Chinese at all. And I got myself into a taxi and thought, okay, I'm just gonna go to this activity. But once I got in the taxi, I realized that I had not communicated correctly where I needed to go. So I was in the taxi for a long time. And he took me across town and it was the wrong place. And I was like, oh my gosh, how do I get out of this situation? I don't speak the language. And at that time, like nobody spoke English. It was before the Olympics and everything and anything, the internet, everything. And so I started to get really worried because he took me to this hotel. And I'm like, is this the right place? I don't think this is the right place. And he could see the concern on my face. And usually I was kind of scared of the taxi drivers because you don't know if they're gonna try to like pickpocket you or traffic you or who knows what. You know what I mean? The possibilities are endless. And so I had, you know, previously been like really careful. But this guy, he saw the look on my face, and I think he just, the Lord had prepared this man and he had compassion on me. And so he's like motioned like he's gonna wait for me. So I went into the hotel, I'm trying to ask around, found someone who spoke a tiny bit of English. They're like, no, nobody's meeting here or whatever. And I'm like, oh, where am I? What am I gonna do? Where am I supposed to go? I think I said this address wrong. I think I wrote this address wrong, and I don't even know how to get home. So I got back in the taxi and through hand gestures and broken Chinese and broken English, I'm trying to describe where to go. And the spirit just rested on us. And this sweet man, he just drove me around all around town, just trying to help me find my destination. And finally, he got it into his head that it was going to be in one of these expat neighborhoods. And he took me to the neighborhood, and we were able to find the branch president's house. And I got to the activity, which was literally a miracle. If you consider everything, it was a miracle, and he didn't even charge me. What? Yes, this darling man, the Lord had prepared a man with compassion and who could listen to the spirit enough without the gift of the Holy Ghost to help me get to where I was going. Otherwise, I could have been lost in Beijing forever.

SPEAKER_01 52:14

Um, what a terrifying experience. That would be so scary.

SPEAKER_00 52:20

It was really scary, but it ended really well. And then, of course, people who knew what they were doing helped me get home after that, and it was fine and great. But it just went to show again, once again in my life that the Lord has tabs on you. He knows who you are, he knows where you are, he knows what your situation is, and he will do whatever he needs to do to help you. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 52:48

So I'm gonna ask you the final question. But before I do that, do you think that you could tell us when you decided to follow Jesus Christ if you have a story of that? And then I'll ask you the question.

SPEAKER_00 52:59

Um, yeah, I do, but it's kind of a summation, because I there's not like one point in my life when suddenly I decided I'm going to follow Christ. But there's definitely a specific two points, or actually three points in my life that just locked me on the path, I should say.

SPEAKER_01 53:20

Awesome. Do you want to elaborate on those a little bit?

SPEAKER_00 53:23

Oh, sure. Yeah. The first time I realized that I wanted to follow Christ, I was very little. I think I must have been uh six years old. And I was really, really ill. And I, my body just hurt and my head hurt so bad, and I didn't know what was wrong with me. But my mom had put me in her bed and was taking care of me. And she had gone out and I was supposed to be trying to sleep, but I couldn't sleep because my head hurt so bad. And I was just feeling so, so bad. And I just prayed and I prayed and I prayed, Heavenly Father, please, I beg you, please help me feel better. And after I prayed, I remember this wash going over my body, the feeling of like almost water just being poured out over my body, and my headache subsided, and I was able to go to sleep and I I'll never forget that because that was the first time I realized God is there, He hears you, He answers prayers, and I knew I wanted to be loyal to that person. And then at my baptism at eight years old, I felt the spirit so strongly. And when they said, receive the Holy Ghost, again, I felt that wash of energy just kind of flood into my body. And even though I was just a kid, I knew the Lord is with me and I want to be with him. It was just like a feeling. And then later on, you know, life gets in the way, and for different reasons, you make different decisions that either take you closer or take you further from the Lord. And there was a period in my life where I was taking further from the Lord, and I was being a little bit rebellious, even. I was prideful, I was naive, and I was just kind of trying out my wings away from home. And I made some mistakes, and I had to go through a process of repentance, and I remember feeling bad at that time, but also knowing deep in my heart, I really just wanted to be good, but I didn't really understand what that meant. And as I went through that process of repentance and diligently searched the scriptures and did everything that my bishop told me to do, and did everything that my parents told me to do, I had an aha moment, just like Alma the Younger, in which I realized that Jesus was the way. He was the way, and that all the choices I had made or whatever, I didn't want to be that way anymore. I didn't want to make those choices anymore. I wanted to follow his way. And it was so strong to me that I just like made up my mind. It was just weird. I was like, I just made up my mind at that moment that I'm gonna conquer this, and I'm gonna be with Jesus. I want to do it right. And so I got through that process, became worthy, and I was able to go to the temple. And that experience blew my mind and just solidified what I had already learned through the process of repentance that I wanted a relationship with Jesus Christ. I wanted to follow him, and his way was so much happier and so much more fulfilling and would turn me into the kind of person that I really wanted to be. And ever since then, I've just never turned back on my covenant. I value my covenant so much. And I've learned, and the Lord has taught me a lot because, especially with my career and everything, you have to find your boundaries and get over little hurdles and morality hurdles and things like that. And there's lots of stories I have about that. But he has led me and he has taught me and he has shown me in such a way that I know that he cares and that he loves me and that he is my biggest cheerleader. He wants me to be successful as a person, not just as an actress or as a mother or any of that, but also just like a successful good person. You know, he wants me to turn into that person I want to be, the compassionate person I want to be, the loving person I want to be, the patient person I want to be, the kind of person who actually wants to live in the celestial kingdom and do the things that God does. And he's working with me on that. And I just I can't imagine doing anything else. Like, as far as thinking about other paths I might take, like, no way. I don't know. I feel like kind of the brethren in the New Testament that it's like, well, to who else would we go, Lord? You know, you are the way. I I can't, I just have no interests in any other way. That's really beautiful.

SPEAKER_01 58:33

And as a final question, what action or practice would you suggest to help others to recognize and rejoice in God's hand in their lives?

SPEAKER_00 58:42

Well, if they are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I would say go to the temple as often as you possibly can. Work at the temple, be there, go there. And remind yourself of your covenant and receive the peace and the blessing of your covenant. That would be my number one. And for those who may be religious but are not of my faith, I would say don't stop praying. Just include the Lord on everything you do, even if it seems weird and silly, like, oh, I have a really busy day today. I don't know how I'm gonna fit it all in. Take it to the Lord and ask him to help you. And just imagine holding his hand all the day long.

SPEAKER_01 59:29

That is a beautiful image. Imagine holding the Lord's hand all the day long. Ali, thank you so much for coming. It has been so fun. And like all my conversations with you, yes, I agree with everything that you've said. Thank you so much for joining us today. Oh, thank you. It's been such a pleasure. Thank you for listening to Recognize and Rejoice, where we come together to rejoice in the many ways that the Lord shows up in each of our journeys in unique ways. We hope you have found peace and joy in the time you've spent with us today and encourage you to continue recognizing and rejoicing in the hand of the Lord in your own life. We would be honored if you followed and shared this podcast so others may come and rejoice with us. If you or someone you know would like to be a guest or a co-host, please send us a text and we'll see what we can do. See you again next week.