The Power of Speech (Proverbs 18:21 Explained): Wisdom for Life | Week 7

Message from May 31

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” — Proverbs 18:21

In this week’s Wisdom for Life series, we explore one of the most powerful forces God has given us: our words.

Every day, our words have the ability to build up or tear down, heal or wound, bring life or spread destruction. Proverbs reminds us that what comes out of our mouths reveals what is happening inside our hearts.

This message unpacks why our natural tendency is often toward criticism, gossip, anger, and division—and how the gospel transforms not just our hearts, but our speech. Through the power of Jesus, a tongue once used for destruction can become a source of encouragement, healing, truth, and life.

📖 “For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.” — Luke 6:45

The words you speak are never neutral. They reveal your heart, shape your relationships, and influence the lives of those around you. The question is: Are your words producing death… or life?

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Uh everybody else, thank you so much for being here this morning. It is going to be a good Sunday as we continue to worship Jesus through listening to the Word of God. If you have a Bible or Bible app, I'm going to ask you to turn to Proverbs chapter 18, verse 21. That's Proverbs chapter 18, verse 21. And for those of you who are joining us online, we're glad that you're here or if you're in one of our other venues. Proverbs 18, 21 is maybe the best verse I could choose as it pertains to our continuing series this morning on wisdom for life. Wisdom for life has been an opportunity for us to look at a variety of topics and how God's Word gives us wisdom in these topics. But when you look at the book of Proverbs, there's so much wisdom around our speech. It's really hard to pick just one of the Proverbs about the words that leave our mouth. And so if I had to choose just one, and I am just choosing just one as the anchor scripture, it's Proverbs 18, 21. And so I want you to get in your Bible, find it, highlight it, mark it. You're going to want to remember it because this is going to be a critical verse for those of you who follow after Jesus. Now, as we continue our series, I want to remind you of our definition of wisdom. Wisdom is simply this: wisdom is knowing the difference between what is right and what is wrong, and then choosing to do what is right. When it comes to our words, we have an everyday experience where if we are not cognizant of choosing to do what is right, we will definitely do what is wrong. Can I get an amen to that? I'm not sure what you've said this morning to your spouse or your children, but it's highly probable that at some point in time you said something that was less than loving, and it's only 9.30 in the morning. We have got to find the reason, and we have got to lean into the solution of how to control the words that leave our mouth. And according to God's word, there is a right way and there is a wrong way to use words, and I think we're all very familiar with it because words are incredibly powerful. Now, in my free time, like many of you, I like to read various books. One of the books I like to read are Presidential Biographies. As I was looking through uh Reagan's biography, there was a whole section on Reagan's speechwriters. And he was famous for telling jokes, and he always had a good joke, but he was actually uh a really good linguistic speaker. And he had great speechwriters, but one of the lines that he recently that he said back when he was president that echoed with me in terms of being one of the most powerful phrases he said during his presidency is this one. And if you were alive during this time, you've probably heard it. He said, You can go to live in France, but you cannot become a Frenchman. You can go to live in Germany or Turkey or Japan, but you cannot become a German, a Turk, or Japanese. But anyone from any corner of the world can come to live in America and become an American. What a powerful phrase. And I don't know where you stand right now ideologically or politically, but there was a time when this nation believed that anyone from anywhere could come here and become an American. And if you listen to the words, they inspire, if you're an immigrant, they inspire hope. They inspire opportunity. It speaks something inside your soul where you say, I think, I think I want to be a part of something greater than what I'm a part of right now. And if you have been a naturalized American citizen for a long time, or you were born here and your ancestry dates back here, it's this reminder that you didn't start here, most likely. Your family did not begin here, most likely, unless you're part of the First Nations. It wasn't your heritage. You and your family came here and you became from something and you became something different. These are powerful words. And Reagan used that line again and again and again for about 19, I think it was 1983 or 84. He used it that during that time period a lot as he gave a lot of various speeches. What you learn with powerful words, especially when you read the biographies of presidents and about their speeches, or we listen to great uh pastors or preachers from times of old, is that powerful words have a unique capacity to them. They move beyond the ear and into the heart. That's what powerful words do. Powerful words move beyond the ear and into the heart. And we can use words powerfully for constructive activity, and we can use words powerfully for destructive activity. And that's really the first two ways that we use them. We would like to believe that the primary way we use our words is in a constructive way, that they would be uplifting, encouraging, they'd be words of endearment, they'd be thoughtful and meaningful words. Last week we celebrated my daughter Ceci's 10th birthday. All five of my kids are now 10 and older. I feel like we've moved into a new phase of life. And I don't know if it's good or bad. I think it's good. But what I was amazed by was all of these wonderful words that people spoke to my 10-year-old daughter. Whether they wrote these words in a card for her or if she wrote the words about herself in this poem that she wrote, so many kind words, cards, text spoken. She felt like a million bucks all week. I think that even this morning, if you see her running around, and just you'll see she's just shining with all this joy from the past week of people pouring life into her through their words. It's been fun to watch. But that's not usually the primary way we use our words. Our primary use of words leans towards destruction. And I think everyone in this room can readily recall hurtful words that have been used against you. There are some things that people have said to you that they went through your ears and they anchored deep into the lowest parts of your heart. They were hurtful, they were painful, and they were identity forming. And maybe you've carried that your entire life. You've always felt like a failure because when you were young, someone called you a failure. You've always felt like you're never going to be enough because for whatever reason you couldn't seem to please the most important people in your life as a child. And they maybe even alluded to that with things they said. Everybody has a phrase or a comment that was either spoken to them directly and intentionally, or just mumbled out of somebody's mouth along the way, that has gone through the ears and anchored deep into our heart. That's what powerful words do. They move beyond the ear and they go into the heart. And while I would love to believe that our words should be seasoned with grace and truth and wonderful encouragement, and that's what we all like to believe is true about our language, when we really assess our speech, it's usually more likely filled with death. And here's why. Here's what Proverbs 18, 21 says. This is the powerful anchor verse about our words. Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit. Death and life. Listen, friends, in a fallen world, the immediate inherent danger in our words is their power to wound, divide, and destroy. This is the immediate, inherent danger of words is that when they leave our mouths, they can wound, they can divide, and they can destroy. Proverbs 18, 21 does not begin with the word life. It begins with the word death. And I really believe that word order matters. The tongue naturally bends towards destruction. Death and life are in the power of the tongue. Death comes first. Why does death come first? Why does a piercing word spoken in anger, why is that the first thing that wants to leave your mouth? And that happens for many of us. If you've been in a relationship with somebody, whether it's your child or a friend or a coworker or a spouse, when you're in relationship, we are more oftentimes wanting to say things that can cut and to hurt or to prove our point. Many times divisive words leave our mouth. We speak words behind people's back. Whether it's online or in conversation, we use words to recruit allies to our side. And in order to recruit allies to our side, we have to belittle somebody else. That's what our words are used for. Or a dishonest word. People who speak words of dis dishonesty. It's maybe a small lie or a big lie, but all of a sudden these lies, these words we speak, they can erode years of trust that has taken time to build. The fallen tongue will always drift towards death, not towards life. And nearly every proverb in the book of Proverbs that deals with your words begins with death, not life. Here's just a couple of them. Proverbs 12, 18. The words of the reckless pierce like a sword. Just out of curiosity, has anyone in this room ever been pierced to the hearts by reckless words spoken in your direction by somebody you loved? They weren't saying those things intentionally, they said them recklessly. And it hurts and it wounds. How about Proverbs 10, 8? A babbling fool will come to ruin. People who talk all the time, incessant amounts of words that leave their mouth. You know what they find themselves in? Difficult positions because they can't remember all the things they've said, and words just come pouring forth. How about Proverbs 11:9? With his mouth, the godless man would destroy his neighbor. Ever experienced that? Somebody gossiping behind your back, somebody throwing you under the bus, somebody speaking mistruths, or maybe speaking truths, but doing it harmfully instead of seeking reconciliation. That's what people do with their words. They use them for destruction. Now here's why the word order matters: death and life. It always begins with death, and here's why. A long, long time ago, there was a man and a woman living in a garden. Adam and Eve. And they ate of this fruit that they were told not to eat from. And when Adam ate of that fruit, sin entered the world. And when sin entered the world, death entered the world with him. And as a result, death has corrupted our bodies, it has corrupted our minds, it's corrupted our hearts, and as a result, it's corrupted our tongues. So the natural disposition of our heart is death. The natural disposition of our tongue will be to speak death and destruction. It just flows naturally out of who we are, because brokenness and death are man's natural position without Jesus. Now, if you do not know Jesus and you've never chosen to follow after Jesus, and many of the people in this world are just like that, their unredeemed tongue will always become the instrument of death before it becomes an instrument of life. And if you're at a workplace or you're in school, maybe you're a young person in school, this is why gossip spreads faster than encouragement. Because the tongue is bent towards death. It's why criticism comes far easier than encouragement. Because the tongue is bent towards death. It's why anger and angry words flow naturally from your mouth when you stub your toe. But patience when you stub your toe, restraint is something that has to be learned. One careless sentence, of which we speak many of them, can destroy years of trust and do great damage in somebody's life. Apart from Christ, the human heart will always and is always bent towards death and destruction and sin, and our language will always follow. And here's the indicator. Even if you don't think that this is entirely true because you really aren't sure exactly how this works, here's the indicator you know it's true. Being hurtful and sinful with our language is as natural as breathing. While being encouraging, uplifting, and honoring takes real intention. You have to think in order to say kind things. You don't have to think at all in order to tear somebody down. That indicates to me our natural state. You don't have to think about breathing, do you? You're breathing right now. You're probably thinking about it as I'm talking about it. Wait, in, out. That's the only time you ever think about it. Otherwise, your body just does it naturally. The same is true with the words that leave our mouth. You have to be intentional and think about saying, honoring, loving, uplifting, building speech. It's natural to speak destruction, it's unnatural to speak life, and that's why death comes first in all of the Proverbs. It's the natural order through which the Bible views the tongue. So as a result, the Bible gives us some safeguards. This is really important. The Bible gives us a safeguard for the tongue, and a safeguard for the tongue is silence. Oh boy. Anyone have a problem staying silent? Is it just me? All right. I'm naturally extroverted. I like to talk to people. I'm highly opinionated. It just leaves. Yeah? Have thought, we'll speak. It just comes right out. So a safeguard for the tongue is silence. Now there's a wonderful phrase that goes back, you probably heard as a kid. Silence is golden. You've heard that? Silence is golden. What you might not know is that it comes from a Germanic phrase, and the full expression of the phrase is that speech is silver, but silence is golden. So it's Germanic in its history, it's in its origin, it's an old proverb. It doesn't come out of the Bible, it doesn't come out of Christendom, but it speaks to a truth. It's one that we all recognize. Well, words can be valuable. Sometimes not using your words is far more valuable. It's what you don't say that can mean more than what you do say. Here's what Proverbs 10, 19 says about our words. When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent. The more you talk, the more likely you are to be destructive with your words. And I think you've all been there. You've been in a conversation or you've been in a room where there's like that one person and they just won't stop talking. And as they're talking, you can see a giant shovel leaving their mouth, and they grab it with their hands, and the more words they use, they just keep digging that hole. And you're thinking to yourself, the entire time, if you would just be quiet, you wouldn't put yourself in this position. And as you're thinking it, they just keep talking and they keep shoveling. And it's like they can't see the hole that they're burying themselves in. And the entire time, the only solution that would stop the hole from being dug is if they just silenced their mouth. And as much as we can see that in others, it's really hard to see it when it's ourselves. But every one of us has used our tongue to dig ourselves into a great big hole because we just won't stop talking. So silence is a form of wisdom. Restraint is a form of wisdom when it comes to our word. It's the guardrail that keeps our tongue from spreading death in the world. I think we're all aware that we live in a world that is quick to give their opinions and to wag their tongues on social media and news outlets about everything. Doesn't matter what it is. On all things, at all times, and in all ways, opinions are flying everywhere. And there's many you agree with and many you disagree with, but they're flying around all the time. When opinions are always out there in the world and you are forced to hear them, your heart's gonna have a natural response to the ones that you disagree with. Either you're gonna see an opinion and disagree with it, and you're gonna get hot on the inside, which has its own form of consequences. Or you're gonna hear someone's opinion and you're gonna immediately go negative. That's our disposition. Rarely do we hear an opinion and go, yes. It's almost always, I don't know, and I'm gonna be negative about it. And if you don't believe me, just get on the Lititts Community Facebook page. Lots of opinions, lots of gossip, lots of conversations about all the things happening in and around this area that nobody really has the truth, but everybody's got an opinion. And those opinions range from really asinine to kind of asinine. People are looking for reasons and opportunity to belittle, to prove that we're right, to make someone else look foolish. And once we get going, once we start unloading our opinion, it just wants to keep flowing forth. You ever been in an argument with somebody? And you know you should stop, but you can't? You ever typed out that email? And like, all right, I know I shouldn't send this, but it's really long, and then you do, or you sent a text that was five pages long, and you said, Hey, I know probably shouldn't send this, but I'm going to, and so you do. Once we get going, once our opinions and the destruction begins to leave our mouth, braining it in is really hard. And so we have to start with silence, not speak so much that we're done with our words, and then we're silent. Because the destruction has already happened, and we need to refrain what we're gonna say. Here's what Proverbs 1720 says, 27 says about a person who can restrain their lips. Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding. The Bible calls you knowledgeable if you restrain your words. It is a form of knowledge to learn, to acquire restraint, because not everybody can acquire restraint. When you learn to silence your tongue and to tame your tongue, you are now a person of knowledge, a person of understanding. And here's what wisdom understands. You ready for what wisdom understands? Not everyone cares about your opinion. That's what wisdom understands. Wisdom also understands that because they don't care about your opinion, if you share it, all you're gonna do now is incite an argument because they don't care to hear what you have to say. And in a world like ours, where no one really cares what you have to say, here's your best weapon to be wise. Restraint and silence. Now I'm not telling you not to have an opinion. I think having an opinion is important. It's part of how God wired us, it's how he influenced the world around us. But opinions and convictions must lead to action. Words are just words. It's how we live and work and do life that actually changes the world around us. So have your opinions, but share them in the right context. In a context where people care about what you have to say, instead of just out there on social media where nobody could give a hoot. Okay. One thing every person in this room has the power over is whether or not you're gonna use your words to speak. You have the power over that. It's your power. I can open my mouth or I can keep my mouth shut. Now you can't always control how you feel. You're not always gonna be able to control what other people say, and you're not gonna understand or be able to control the outcomes of all situations. But by the grace of God and the Holy Spirit that dwells in you, you do have the self-control to not say anything that exacerbates the situation. It is your power. Proverbs says that is wisdom. So wisdom does not say everything it thinks, it does not respond to every insult. Wisdom does not have to win every single argument, wisdom does not need to have the last word. Wisdom holds back. Here's what Proverbs 17, 28 says. Even a fool who keeps his mouth silent is considered wise. When he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent. You can be the dumbest person on the planet Earth. You can be the greatest fool who's ever walked the planet, and if you keep your mouth shut, people will perceive you as wise. Almost humorous. The wisest thing we can do is speak little. And when we do speak, speak rightly. Man, that's wise. So hard to do. Incredibly wise. Now, if restraint was the goal and learning restraint was all the Bible taught, we'd be in trouble. Fortunately, there's a lot more in the Word of God as it pertains to wisdom. The reason we want to make sure that we're transforming our heart and mind to become people who speak less and speak what is right, is because as soon as you say those words, and you didn't want to say those words, or you said them recklessly, or you said them when you were angry, you know what happens when they're out there in the world? You can't take them back. How many of you, and it's okay, every hand will raise in the air, so don't feel embarrassed. How many of you have said something out loud where you thought to yourself, I wish I could take that back? All of us. It just and as it's as it's on its way out of your lips. You're like, no, no, no, no, no, no. Come back here. We have to learn restraint so that we don't create more death in the world, but we have to learn restraint so that when we speak, we actually speak life. And here's where restraint comes from. It comes from taming the tongue, not with self-discipline, but with the gospel. You see, a tongue tamed by the gospel can speak genuinely transformative life-giving words. That's what happens. A tongue tamed by the gospel can speak genuinely transformative, life-giving words. We talked a little bit about encouragement. Everyone in this world is capable of saying encouraging, kind, and nice things. You don't have to be saved or redeemed to say kind and encouraging things. It can happen from anybody. The source is not that complex. All people are able to string together words that motivate, equip, and instill values. And everyone can learn how to use words to build people up. If you're an elementary school teacher or you when you were in elementary school, they taught you a lot about how to use your words kindly and appropriately. But only a tongue tamed by the gospel can become a genuine fountain of life-giving words. And the only way to tame the tongue by the gospel is to allow the gospel to completely transform your heart. This is what Jesus says in Luke chapter 6, verse 45. This verse will be on the screen for you. So Luke 6, 45. A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart, for the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. Look, friends, when you are ruled by sin and death, then your heart is filled with corruption and brokenness and self-interest. Therefore, the words that will primarily leave your mouth are going to be destructive, not constructive. But when the heart is redeemed by the gospel of Jesus Christ, and the Spirit of God indwells, there's a new creation now dwelling within you. And the Holy Spirit of God begins to put inside of you the person of Christ. The biblical word for that is sanctification. You're becoming more holy, more like Jesus. But it begins when the Spirit of God indwells in your heart. It begins to bring forth the fruit of the Spirit of Christ. I think many of you have heard the fruit of the Spirit song. The fruits of the Spirit are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Okay. If you don't know it, your children do. All right. Those are the fruits. And the Holy Spirit of God is producing the fruits inside of you. Gentleness. Self-control. A transformed creature that is able to speak different words. Friends, the gospel of Jesus makes your words more gentle. Listen to Proverbs 15:4. A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit. The word gentle. Many people think gentle is a demeanor. Gentle is not just a demeanor, it's also the words we say and how we say them. Somebody who's filled with the Spirit of Christ can speak gentle words. Now the word gentle here has this connotation of healing. Some words that we speak, when we speak truth with love and healing, or speak truth with love, actually become healing words in somebody's life. But when they were very, very little and they would get hurt, they would not run to dad, they would run to mom. And when Amy would pick them up and hold them, she would be very gentle with them. And even though they scraped their knee or scraped an elbow or bonked their head, she would say words to them, and they were gentle words of healing. And you could see in every mother's experiences for the most part, when they speak gentle words to their child, it has a healing effect. It's almost as if the pain of the boo-boo goes away and it's replaced with comfort because of the words. There's a healing power in the words that are spoken gently. When we are seasoned by the gospel, and our first response to one another is truth with love and a gentle nature, it heals and restores relationships. But if our first response to one another is that of a flesh-driven priority of what we want to see happen, it creates division. And so the evidence of a gospel-tamed tongue is that it speaks the truth in love. It knows what truth is, it understands what truth is, but it never speaks truth to hurt or to wound or to throw it in somebody's face. It speaks truth with love to restore somebody back into right living. I think we all know what it looks like to speak truth without love. Maybe some of you grew up with a parent who only ever pointed out your failure. Maybe some of you have been in a relationship, maybe a marriage relationship or dating relationship with someone who weaponizes honesty in the middle of a fight. They're saying the truth, but they're saying it to expose a weakness to win the moment. That kind of truth hurts. Yeah, it's true. But it's like being beat over the head with a club. It doesn't actually heal or restore, it just wounds. That is not the gentleness of Christ. Jesus never avoided speaking truth. He always spoke truth, he always broke hard words, but there were words filled with love. So here's the most powerful words that you get to speak as a follower of Jesus because life is inside of you through the gospel. The most powerful words the tongue can speak are the message of salvation through faith in Jesus. Only a redeemed tongue can speak this message because it has to come from somebody who's experienced the truth of salvation through Jesus themselves. The gospel is this incredible announcement of life transformation. It's the announcement that once your heart filled with sin and destruction and evil and is bent towards creating evil, can be redeemed by the person of Jesus Christ and become a heart that speaks life and life to the good of somebody else. Friends, the gospel is a powerful message. And many of you know the gospel. It's a pretty simple message, actually. Jesus Christ died for our sins. He was buried in a grave. Three days later he rose again from the dead. And he rose again from the dead to prove that he had power over life and death. And in his resurrection and in that proof, those who have faith in Jesus' power to forgive sins are now forgiven, redeemed, and made right before God the Father. That's the gospel message. It's the most powerful words of love that any Christian can speak in this world. Now here's the power of words. When we speak that gospel message, Romans 10, 17 tells us something else happens. Consequently, faith, the words go through the ears, move down into the heart, they produce faith. Because faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word about Christ. So when we speak the gospel message and just the simple truth that God loves them, even though that they were still sinners, Christ died for them. For everyone who has faith in him, those powerful words go through the ear and they anchor into somebody's heart. And when they anchor in somebody's heart, they begin to produce life. Friends, God has chosen words to be the mechanism through which life is birthed in somebody's heart. That's God's wisdom. That's not human wisdom. It's not emotional manipulation. There's no clever performance that you can do to convince somebody to put their faith in Jesus, but the power of the word is that when it's proclaimed, it goes through the ears and down into the hearts. That's how powerful the tongue is. The same tongue that can curse their neighbor can also confess Christ and be forgiven for that very curse. And that's where all of us stand. Broken people with broken hearts who speak destructive words, who, by the grace of God, when we called upon him and asked him to forgive us for the sins of those words, is faithful to forgive and then faithful to renew in you a new heart and faithful to take that tongue which once spread death to become the very thing that now spreads life. I love the gospel for that. Now there may be some of you here in this room, you don't believe in Jesus. Maybe some of you watching online, you've struggled with your relationship with Christ for a long time. You have heard the gospel message preached, but you quite haven't made that decision. Friends, today is the day because the gospel is powerful. I just declared it. And when you heard it, those words went through your ears and down into your heart, and now the Spirit of God is wrestling with you, and you're wrestling with Him, and you've got to decide whether or not you're gonna allow the gospel message to produce life or if you're gonna cling to death. So, church, I'm gonna ask you to bow your heads and pray with me now. And if you are already a follower of Jesus, pray that the hearts of those who are wrestling with the gospel message at this moment would be surrendered over to the Lord. That they would make the mental decision to give their life fully to Christ, to trust in Him for their salvation, to submit their life to Him as Lord and Savior. If you want to put your faith in Jesus this morning, use your tongue to confess that Jesus is Lord. Believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead and you will be saved. Father, for the unbeliever in this room or for those who are watching online or hearing this message, would you give them the courage to call out your name for their salvation? For those in the room who are actively walking with you, would you instill inside of them the spirit of Christ? The spirit of Christ that is passionate about sharing the message of the kingdom of God, that they would use their words to confess the person of Jesus and bring people into the kingdom of God. It is the highest use of our words, Jesus. Would you bless our faith as we use them to expand the kingdom? I ask that in Jesus' name. Amen. If you placed your faith in Jesus this morning, there's a card in the seat pocket in front of you called Next Steps. I'm asking you to do a very simple thing. When the service is over, fill out that card. I want you to take your card to the next steps table where they're gonna give you a Bible and they're gonna pray with you, and they're gonna celebrate with you about the decision that you've made to follow Jesus.