Hair Removal and Hot Ointments

Kenn and Ron take things back to the 1970s with another round of unforgettable high school track stories—this time featuring a mix of pranks, poor decisions, and plenty of laughs.

The first tale centers on a classic locker room prank: someone secretly slipped hair-removal cream into a teammate’s varsity jacket sleeves. The result? One very confused (and suddenly very smooth-armed) athlete. To this day, the culprit remains a mystery.

The second story shifts to a dedicated—but slightly over-the-top—long-distance runner who swore by using extra-strength warming ointments to battle the cold. Despite constant warnings from teammates to go easy, he didn’t hold back. During one two-mile race, things took a painful turn when the ointment made its way into his eyes. What followed was a chaotic attempt to finish the race while half-blinded, yelling, and tearing up—earning more laughs than sympathy from the sidelines.

From harmless pranks to questionable race-day decisions, these stories capture the wild, anything-goes spirit of 1970s high school sports.

Another nostalgic—and hilarious—installment from Boomers on the Edge.

• Boomers rating: Under the Edge.

https://www.boomersontheedge.com

boomers@boomersontheedge.com

Transcript

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SPEAKER_00 0:02

Hey, and welcome to Boomers on the Edge. Some guys in their 60s who still think they're 60. Your hosts, Ken and Ron. Let's get started. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 0:19

So Ken? The music we just picked is called what? Smartflow.

SPEAKER_00 0:25

Smart Flow Systems.

SPEAKER_01 0:27

Smart Flow Systems. We were looking for something that might have been like barbershop related or beauty shop related or something like that.

SPEAKER_00 0:36

But you made me continue to play Smartflow Systems, so there must be something you like about this one.

SPEAKER_01 0:42

Well, it does say smart in the uh title of the genre, but I wanted to talk to about something that didn't seem so smart. Oh. I see. I don't know if it was last week or possibly the week before. I don't know if you saw it. There was a woman who looked like she had a chemical burn on her face. And the captioned underneath of it said, Don't put Nair on your face.

SPEAKER_00 1:11

So is this Nair music? I don't know, but this is smart music.

SPEAKER_01 1:14

It's it says smart.

SPEAKER_00 1:15

So why did that prompt a story for our show?

SPEAKER_01 1:19

Well, Nair might have been mentioned in one of our former episodes about locker room antics. Not sure. There was this individual who he wasn't really well liked. We've mentioned him before. I think we called him Glom. Yeah. Now I didn't do this. This dude, Glom, was one hairy dude. Remember how hairy he was? He was hairy. He had so much hair, I couldn't believe it. He was like chimp hairy.

SPEAKER_00 1:48

Anyways, might have been related to that girl that brandy went out in one of the other episodes, if you heard it, uh unfortunately referred to her as Planet of the Apes. But anyway.

SPEAKER_01 1:59

Now I didn't do this. Someone allegedly put Nair in the sleeves of his varsity jacket. They put it in his Varsi jacket sleeves so it would take his hair off, I suppose. It took his hair off his hairy arms. Okay. His chimp-like hairy arms. And then there was another track incident with another.

SPEAKER_00 2:18

That prompted a conversation with us. So on the track team, uh, they used to use uh, I don't know if this brand is still available, but it was like uh a hot uh we called it cream jezic. And everybody, you know, some guys would rub it on their you know thighs. I think it was called Kramer Jeesic. Kramer Jezic? Yeah, atomic bone. Atomic bomb. So this one kid, he went a little crazy with it. We won't say his name, but what will we? Why don't we just call him Rob? Rob. So Rob, he was a two-miler, I believe. He'd get going with this Kramer Jezak, and he'd be rubbing it on his chest and rubbing on his like he pretty soon he was rubbing it on everything. One particular meet, uh, and everybody's be telling him, hey, what are you doing with that Kramer Jeesac? Like putting it on everything. He's like, I like it, it helps me. I remember this one meet. He's running around pretty soon. Do you do it? I know where you're going. I know where you're going with it. He he's running around.

SPEAKER_01 3:23

Hey, this he put it on so thick it was clearing our sinuses. And we didn't even have it on us dead. I think you thought it would keep him warm.

SPEAKER_00 3:30

I thought it would keep him warm on like it's a two mile and he's gonna run. So, what's he doing? Here he comes around and he's crying. Like, what's wrong? And he won't stop. You know, he's gonna keep going. And so he's like, I got I got craver Jesus to come back. And like uh, you know, in in true boomers fashion, no one had any empathy. Like none.

SPEAKER_01 3:57

No, he always looked like when he ran, he always looked like he was straining himself. He always looked like he was like really, I don't know, ready to give up or something.

SPEAKER_00 4:08

And he always had this like, yeah, face like he's like, you know, he's gritting his teeth and and and and like he looked like he was like had an enema or something. And then he's like so now he's crying the whole way around. The Kramer Jesus that Nair kind of drove us to the Kramer Jason story, exactly. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:33

So and I don't know what the kids are doing today. If they're running track, I don't know what kind of uh chemical items, sprays, ointments, or whatever that they're putting on. You ever heard of any of that? You're you you had kids that played sports.

SPEAKER_00 4:48

Yeah, uh uh Tiger Baum. Tiger Bomb on the track team, oh yeah, it was Tiger Bomb. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:54

Because that was like a status thing to be using Tiger Bomb.

SPEAKER_00 4:57

Yeah, Tiger Bomb, you you rub it out. You rubbed it down. Kind of like Kramer Jeesac. Yeah, it is. Very I don't know what happened to Kramer Jeezak, I'll have to go look it up, but Tiger Bomb is the one that they use today, the kids.

SPEAKER_01 5:09

Yeah, we didn't use that in football.

SPEAKER_00 5:11

No?

SPEAKER_01 5:11

No. So that that's uh that's all I had on that topic. Not a great ending, but you know, just the the chemical on the face. Oh, it did you know, the nair on the face, you know, and she looked so bad with that chemical burn. I thought to myself, these like women mostly use this stuff, right? I'm not saying men can't, but usually it looked like it was marketed to women. They put it on their legs and stuff like that. Yeah. And I thought that is it called a depilatory or something like that. What is that? That's removed hair. Yeah, I think it's what it's called. Okay. But I I I wouldn't want to after I saw what happened to that lady's face, I would sure hope that they wouldn't put that in their nether regions. Because it looked like it was pretty painful. I mean, I didn't spend a lot of time looking at that or looking up what she normally looks like, but she didn't look like she was that unattractive. But I did. Maybe she I didn't look at it that closely. Maybe her no but maybe I don't know maybe she just had overly sensitive skin. You know what it's funny?

SPEAKER_00 6:14

I think subconsciously I was starting to picture Rob uh running around the track with all the cream and cheese when he saw that red face. Because I think actually what happened to him, he put it under his nose, and that was how he got it in his eyes. But anyway. What an idiot.

SPEAKER_01 6:33

Okay I wonder if it made him run any faster.

SPEAKER_00 6:37

Like he wanted to get he was crying, like he wanted to get to the locker crap off. So it was nice that that story prompted our another track story. So you never know where you're gonna go. That's it. Okay, thanks. Thanks. Hey, thanks for joining us here on Boomers on the Edge. We hope you'll join us again. And until then, have a great time. Thank you.