Goalie Shots

Welcome back everyone. A weird week here with your host Riley Purser. We were joined with Julian and Chloe. Talking about Asthma Fights, Flat Tires, and If you can shoot a goal with a goalie.

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[DISCLAIMER] 
All comments made in this video are purely satirical and for comedic/entertainment purposes only. This is a comedy video. Do not take anything said in the video seriously. All people seen in this video are actors, this video was filmed on a film set with professionals. Comments made by actors are not to be confused with the real opinions of the actors. This is a staged comedic performance.

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Okay. Welcome.

SPEAKER_05 0:02

I just blew that in your face.

SPEAKER_02 0:03

I'm sorry. To the I just moved mine into your face. Motherfuckers, we're in the intro.

SPEAKER_01 0:08

Sorry.

unknown 0:09

Go ahead.

SPEAKER_02 0:10

Welcome to the Drunk Cacti Podcast, where the arguments are dumb, logic is slurred, and we're bound to make someone upset to breathe the same round as us. I'm your host, Riley Purser. Joined today with Julian.

SPEAKER_05 0:21

Julian and Chloe. I got Patrick's socks on.

SPEAKER_02 0:30

Okay. Good to know. Well, thank you for joining us this week, guys. It looks a little bit different than last week. We had a little bit of a filler episode, but that's okay.

SPEAKER_03 0:39

It was still funny. What was that?

SPEAKER_02 0:40

The last episode. It was the one that I was sick on, so it was just Lola and Vivian.

SPEAKER_05 0:45

And they would get a wheel of like mixed drinks.

SPEAKER_02 0:48

Yeah, yeah. So they were like making drinks and stuff.

SPEAKER_03 0:51

So how come we're not doing that? Lola, you're supposed to plan these things for the episodes to help us out here. You're the intern to help us here. Why are you doing it on your episode, but you're not influencing our episode?

SPEAKER_05 1:06

She works very hard.

SPEAKER_02 1:07

We can always talk about not hard enough for her free income that she doesn't get.

SPEAKER_03 1:13

Yes, yes. Yeah, this is all just able to go on your resume. Yep. That's about it.

SPEAKER_02 1:21

So when your next employer calls, you're not gonna have a very good answer.

SPEAKER_03 1:26

How do you even afford your rent? Isn't this the only thing you do, Lola?

SPEAKER_00 1:31

I just need to.

SPEAKER_02 1:32

She definitely doesn't sleep with the host, that's for sure. Don't tell your wife. I I told you, shut up. I think she listens through the vents now. I don't know why she doesn't trust Lola. I don't know what it is. Yeah, I don't know.

SPEAKER_05 1:45

I don't know. Lola seems like a very genuine person.

SPEAKER_02 1:49

Yeah, I think so, yeah. You can always trust women. Okay, we always trust women.

SPEAKER_03 1:55

Yeah, women never lie. Never women never cheat. Women never oh. Oh, wait. I think they do all those things.

SPEAKER_02 2:03

Shit. Oops.

SPEAKER_00 2:07

Sorry.

SPEAKER_03 2:08

Sorry to every guy out there that's ever been hurt. Uh yeah, yeah, my bad. And that's why they're players now. Okay, that's how it works. Yeah, dude. It's done a actually, it is kind of crazy how it's done a uh complete 180 on how it used to be. It used to always be where uh, you know, men objectify the women, now it's completely 180. I think it's because they have rights now. I think that's the problem.

SPEAKER_05 2:30

Well, part of it is like there's some not to sound like a pick me girl, but there's like the whole thing about like, oh, boss bitch type of thing. And whenever there's instances of like um, let's say like domestic violence of a man against I love that stems into this stems into like a pop culture thing. I want to mention later on if you guys are interested, but um, but like whenever a guy talks about like, oh, like I was abused by my partner, it's always not always, but like typically, or I guess in domestic violence instances in general, where it's like, oh, what did you do to cause this? Or especially if it's like a social media type of thing where there's like one, it's like an influencer involved, and the influencer is the one that's being accused of said violence, then it's like a lot of the internet is on the influencer side because they're a fan of them. And it's like, okay, what did this person do? They're trying to find every excuse to justify violence or things.

SPEAKER_02 3:31

I mean, I think it's fair. I think we just need to start, you know, putting them in their place.

SPEAKER_03 3:35

I feel like women are the abusers now in the relationship. They they've they've gotten really uh real vocal. Yeah, that's that is the exact word I was thinking about. Yeah, dih.

SPEAKER_05 3:46

I will say, like, whenever like stuff like that comes up, there's always like TikToks coming up of like uh anybody really echoey. I'm sorry. Um but like there'll be like responses to it of women saying like women in dominated sports, I'm here for it. And I'm like, that's like honestly so fuck. I'm like this video of like a guy getting like beaten up by his girlfriend or whatever, and they're like women in dominated sports, and I'm like, what the fuck?

SPEAKER_03 4:15

Yeah, I think I think men need to uh take back control. I think we need to start uh start body slamming the sumo slam the their asses.

SPEAKER_02 4:25

They uh they need we need to survive the fittest, I think fits in with this.

SPEAKER_03 4:29

Yeah, I I think we need to put them back in their place, find the nearest woman, grab her by her ankles, we don't lift her up and just slam her down. We don't condone violence.

SPEAKER_05 4:41

I feel like I'm honestly like when it comes to those types of no, if you're like getting bullied at school or whatever, this is something my parentals have done with me. It's like you don't start a fight, but you finish it. So it's like they you can't throw the first punch, but you better finish it.

SPEAKER_03 4:57

Now, screw it. If it find the closest woman you can start that fight, start that fight finish it yourself. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:06

No, it's not what it is.

SPEAKER_02 5:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:10

You talk about the survey.

SPEAKER_02 5:11

You talk about women in men's sports, where are we at on that?

SPEAKER_05 5:15

Like transgender.

SPEAKER_02 5:17

Yeah. You know, like the transformers.

SPEAKER_03 5:20

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I think, I think, I think, I don't think.

SPEAKER_02 5:25

I don't think. Actually, I was gonna ask you guys something, and it is kind of a little old now, but I want to know your guys' thoughts, okay? Because me and my girl have been arguing about this, okay. I don't know how much you guys watch, right? But you I'm sure you guys understand in professional sports, there's certain medications you can't use and things of that nature.

SPEAKER_05 5:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:44

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 5:44

High performance enhancing drugs.

SPEAKER_02 5:46

Stuff like that, yeah. Okay. There was an incident in the UFC.

SPEAKER_05 5:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:51

You heard about this? Yes. Julian, have you heard about it?

SPEAKER_03 5:54

What was there a chick that took stairs?

SPEAKER_02 5:57

It was a dude. Hold on. In the middle of the fight, on the corner, he had taken uh I think it was like two hits or whatever, it doesn't matter how many, but he hit his inhaler. And so after the fight, because nobody like really saw it until it like came to notice to like Dana White and stuff, because he's the one that owns UFC. Um, they ended up going to the back room and calling a no contest.

SPEAKER_05 6:29

Yeah. Which is like it's so ironic. It's like the other stuff they allow in, and I was like, that's what does it.

SPEAKER_02 6:36

Wait, what do you mean the other stuff they allow in?

SPEAKER_05 6:39

When it comes to transformers. I'm not talking about transformers. This is a straight cis male. Oh, I was thinking of something entirely different.

SPEAKER_02 6:48

No, no, no, no. I'm just talking about the fact of he used an inhaler, a a regular dude, well, not a regular, I mean he's a fighter, but he used an inhaler in the middle of a match. So, like, not like like during the you know how they go from like they like take a break and then they'll go back into the fight? Yeah. So it was during that he took a hit from his inhaler, and so afterwards they called it no contest.

SPEAKER_03 7:10

So no contest, is that saying he lost basically? It's saying nobody won.

SPEAKER_02 7:15

Okay. But he was mad because if you win, you get more money. So, but he was and if the no contest had came through, he had already won the fight.

SPEAKER_03 7:24

So here's here's the problem with that. If he d there is a high probability, uh very potential chance, that if he didn't hit his inhaler right there, he would have fing died.

SPEAKER_02 7:42

See, but that's the part I have a hard time with. Okay.

SPEAKER_05 7:46

If people die?

SPEAKER_02 7:47

Hear me out. I'm not saying that. People in sports always get pulled out when they're to the point of that, right? If somebody needs, like if somebody breaks their leg, they get pulled out of a fight. So if you need an inhaler, I feel like you get pulled out of the fight and that's it. You lose, you forfeit.

SPEAKER_05 8:07

So I think or at least like reschedule the fight.

SPEAKER_02 8:12

Like, I understand he was like he could have possibly died, right? Okay, then you lost the fight. That's the whole point of fights, is you get knocked out.

SPEAKER_03 8:21

No, yeah, no, honestly, I I do I do honestly think that when you're not that cosmatic attack, yeah. Or even the whole point of a fight is it's supposed to be who can fight who and win. And the longest is what they have. Yeah. So if you have something that holds you back, like you know, um asthma. Asthma, that is one of the things you have to work around. Um and if part of it is actually that, you know, like I well, I do think it sucks because yes, if you didn't hit that, you probably would have died. But I do agree that it's actually a little bit better to say that there's it's no contest, nobody won because at that point you're winded. If your other opponent who doesn't have asthma gets winded halfway through the fight and he can't keep fighting because he can't catch his breath and he doesn't have asthma, but if he keeps fighting and might die, well, why is it any different for him? Just because you while you do have a medical issue with asthma, there are instances where you are able to, you know, have more endurance, more stamina throughout to be able to make it to the end. So work through it. If you've got a call it quits, call it quits, you're winded. That's what your opponent would do if he didn't have asthma. If he's winded, yeah, he'd be winded.

SPEAKER_02 9:48

That's what I'm saying. Like, and but it was partly that, and also the other part of it is because the rules were saying that um because Dana Wyatt came out in an interview, and he was saying the only thing you're allowed to have in the corner is water, and some states you can have Gatorade. So my other thing though is like, okay, he needed the the inhaler to live, right? You also need food to live, but you're not allowed to have that in the corner. I think it's also just your your presence on camera and stuff like that, too. You know what I mean? I don't think it's just that. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_05 10:23

I mean maybe I honestly can't say much because I don't watch a whole lot of fighting except for like the news articles that pop up.

SPEAKER_02 10:29

I don't either. I saw it on TikTok.

SPEAKER_05 10:31

Uh okay, same here, but I guess but I don't even remember the fighter's name. It's like it's like the most I know it's like sometimes Jake Paul fights people, sometimes he fights old people.

SPEAKER_03 10:43

I honestly maybe they ought to just do a slightly longer, uh like extended break. Like you can't, you know, use your inhaler during that break, but allow them to have like an extra two to three minutes in that corner to be able to like re-catch themselves to be able to potentially go on again. But if by the end of those two to three minutes they can't recoup themselves and they can't go one more match, that's it.

SPEAKER_02 11:11

Yeah, I just feel like that's like the yeah, because just like you were saying, if a a normal healthy person can get winded too with that much physical activity.

SPEAKER_03 11:19

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 11:20

So, like, how come one person can have an advantage and not the other person? 'Cause they shouldn't be doing it to begin with that they know that they have asthma because you're willingly putting yourself at risk, maybe.

SPEAKER_03 11:31

Which means at the same time, when you're taking that risk, that's the thing you have to work around. Yeah. So are we gonna have some Kool-Aid before we do it?

SPEAKER_05 11:40

Are the are the purple?

SPEAKER_03 11:43

No, I like red Kool-Aid. Red Kool-Aid.

SPEAKER_05 11:46

Did you guys not get the joke? The purple Kool-Aid with the Colt?

SPEAKER_03 11:50

It's always red Kool-Aid I think. Oh, colts are red Kool-Aid. It's always drink the red Kool-Aid.

SPEAKER_02 11:58

I was gonna talk about bringing the watermelon. I think we're on the separate different pages here.

SPEAKER_05 12:02

Watermelon? No. I was talking about like don't drink the Kool-Aid, and it's regarding the cult. It happens, I think it's Wacon, Texas, where they literally had everyone drink the Kool-Aid, and they literally committed like a massive on YouTube.

SPEAKER_03 12:23

Mass unalive self-unaliving.

SPEAKER_05 12:26

That it's like Wake Wacon?

SPEAKER_03 12:29

You're talking about Waco?

SPEAKER_05 12:30

Waco, Waco! Yes, Waco. That did not do that on Wacon.

SPEAKER_03 12:35

That was that's yeah, Waco was a mass murder, not mass suicide. From our own government. Government threw in tear gas that was flammable, and then they fired a tank shot into the bunker and ignited the tear gas, killing everyone inside.

SPEAKER_02 12:55

Well, actually, the other thing is all the women and all the children, they were actually they had locked themselves into the uh like the fridge pantry area where it had like a big lot.

SPEAKER_03 13:06

It was a it was a special basement. Yeah, it's like a safeguard area that they were fast to get to.

SPEAKER_02 13:12

And the United States the United States government saw heat sinks out.

SPEAKER_03 13:17

Not just the United States government, it was the FBI, some of the CIA, and it was the ATF.

SPEAKER_02 13:25

They saw heat sink, so they threw a bunch of tear gas into that bunker and killed all the women and children.

SPEAKER_05 13:31

That's fucking crazy, man.

SPEAKER_02 13:33

I remember I bought Waco, Texas. You should watch it.

SPEAKER_05 13:36

I don't know if I saw that, but I've saw that.

SPEAKER_03 13:38

There's also another YouTuber you can watch Wendy Goon. He's got a whole thing on it.

SPEAKER_05 13:43

He loves that.

SPEAKER_03 13:44

Yeah, you gotta watch his Waco episode.

SPEAKER_05 13:47

I saw one where it pissed you off. Like this one Asian guy, like he it was like the aftermath of uh um Yoshima bombing, and it was like his skin slowly melted. Yeah, he melted so it so fucked up, but so freaking good. And I was just like, ooh, I was so locked in watching that video. I was like, it was so disgusting, but I was like, another good one was Ruby Ridge.

SPEAKER_02 14:11

Yeah, that one was crazy. They killed his wife and his kid and his dog.

SPEAKER_03 14:17

Is that mean? Started with his dog if I remember correctly. Yeah, I think so. Shot his dog in front of his kid. Kid ran off, told his dad, and that started a whole thing, I think. Yep. He shot his wife as she went to go out as they were trying to basically get to safety.

SPEAKER_05 14:37

Lila helped me out. The one I was referencing, designing the series, not the the the Kool-Aid was the Jonestown mass suicide.

SPEAKER_03 14:45

Yes, the Jonestown.

SPEAKER_05 14:47

I just got the mixed up. I got my suicides mixed up. Sorry, guys.

SPEAKER_02 14:51

I thought we were getting races mixed up. Ice people. Ice people? I said nice people.

SPEAKER_05 14:59

Ice ice baby. Oh.

SPEAKER_02 15:00

I almost said something uh Whoa, we don't have any Mexicans on the pot. I don't think we can say all that.

SPEAKER_05 15:07

Well, that was it.

SPEAKER_02 15:09

You want some more ice in your drink?

SPEAKER_05 15:11

You know what's crazy? So in my area, there like hasn't been as much lately, but check out Burt.

SPEAKER_02 15:23

That's because they don't live down there.

SPEAKER_05 15:24

Well, there's a lot of actually people living out there, but there's been actually like a decent amount of like ice protests happening, and then there's people driving by with the ice ice baby song. Like and I'm just like, damn, that's crazy.

SPEAKER_02 15:41

Julian, where are you at on this religious movement, okay? We need you to to accept Jesus Christ in your life.

SPEAKER_05 15:47

You want to come to church with me?

SPEAKER_03 15:49

Jesus, are you there?

SPEAKER_05 15:50

No, hold on.

SPEAKER_03 15:53

He ain't saying nothing yet, so we're we'll talk about it later. He's still been giving me the silent treatment for me.

SPEAKER_05 16:00

You have to go out and seek him. You can't just like phone a friend type of thing.

SPEAKER_03 16:04

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 16:05

It's different from the five.

SPEAKER_03 16:06

Well, he knows I'm freaking busy, man. I'm sorry, dude.

SPEAKER_05 16:10

Like, you're too busy for your father?

SPEAKER_03 16:12

Yeah. Well, Jesus is not your father.

SPEAKER_02 16:15

I look forward to seeing that. No, he's not. What are you talking about? Jesus is not the father. He's our son. I know you go to a huge rock church, don't you? Rock church? Me? I do. What kind of church do you go to?

SPEAKER_05 16:28

It's called the Arizona One. You know? Is it just a rock church?

SPEAKER_02 16:32

Oh, multiple cables? Yeah, that's why. That's why you think they're all the same person.

SPEAKER_05 16:37

Why do you think it's wait, what's a rock church? I'm confused.

SPEAKER_02 16:41

A rock church where they have a huge like musical concert at the beginning.

SPEAKER_05 16:44

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:45

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not yet. They're waiting for the budget to hit, guys. What's that budget? You know it flying around.

SPEAKER_05 16:58

Like I do, like with like my church, like no hate on start thing. That is because there's like a location in Mesa, Gilbert, Queen Creek, um, I think in northern Arizona as well. But um, no hate on it, but the pasture, like the main pasture that talks, he only goes mainly to one location.

SPEAKER_02 17:20

And they record it.

SPEAKER_05 17:21

Yeah. And that and like personally for me, like the message is good. So like nothing against that. But I just wish, like, even if we are seeing recording, that like maybe there can be like a separate pastor at that location of the church to give their thoughts about it instead of just like, okay, here's our it's called worship. Yeah, our concert, it's worship, okay.

SPEAKER_02 17:43

Uh it's a con it's got a concert budget.

SPEAKER_05 17:47

Um, but uh like I just wish like they would just give their two cents instead of just like us going there and just being a bunch of iPad kids and the same, like the message is really good. Like, I do feel like I get a lot of a lot out of it um from their teaching sort of thing. But it's also like the same teaching. It's like they post on their YouTube channel of their sermons. And so like when I'm save, like since I've been like saving money on gas, sort of thing, I've just been watching the sermons at home, which is just like I'm watching what everyone else is watching because we're just watching a giant screen journal. Like I said, nothing against a lot of uh especially non-denominational churches, yeah. That's what they've been hearing. And it's definitely been more prominent, I've heard, with more denominal churches like uh like uh Christians, obviously, Mormons, not Christians, I'm Catholics and Mormons and more specifics. It's definitely more of like, oh, there's someone there at the church talking like they're individuals.

SPEAKER_02 18:44

It's not like a yeah, it's it's it's all of them except for the rock churches.

SPEAKER_05 18:48

Yeah, and like I and when I was like a kid, I went to Catholic church.

SPEAKER_02 18:51

To bring her on the pod.

SPEAKER_05 18:52

For real. Like it's bringing my mom.

SPEAKER_02 18:54

Would she be on the pod?

SPEAKER_05 18:56

Probably not. But you can ask her separately.

SPEAKER_02 18:58

But like she grew up like I'll DM her, I'll just slide in M DMs. But I can do that. Don't tell my wife. How old is your mom?

SPEAKER_05 19:05

Yeah, uh, she's 59. That's all you, bro! That's all you!

SPEAKER_03 19:10

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Trying to get into that home ownership high five. Hey, just because there's a goalie doesn't mean you can't.

SPEAKER_05 19:20

Hey, that's pretty fitting.

SPEAKER_03 19:21

Just because there's a goalie don't mean you can't score. Bingo!

SPEAKER_05 19:26

Stay away from my mom.

SPEAKER_03 19:28

You don't want to see him at family meetings?

unknown 19:30

No.

SPEAKER_05 19:31

Not in that con. I'm not calling you daddy.

SPEAKER_03 19:35

How long have they been together?

SPEAKER_01 19:37

Over like 15 years, bro.

SPEAKER_03 19:39

15? Yeah, she can start over.

SPEAKER_02 19:44

I yeah, I think so. Yeah, yeah. Bro, you're missing out, bro. I'm gonna buy a hooker for you to eat your ass, okay? Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_05 19:55

I'm not even gonna test her before that.

SPEAKER_02 19:57

No, bro. Some chicks are into it.

SPEAKER_05 20:00

And that's probably why you need to test them.

SPEAKER_03 20:03

Yeah, make sure they don't have herpes. Maybe you're just too vanilla.

SPEAKER_05 20:08

I'm so vanilla. I don't like we should talk about STP or sexually transmitted.

SPEAKER_03 20:15

Yeah, but is she gonna give you her mouth herpes on your way?

SPEAKER_02 20:20

I think I heard that happen to someone I used to know.

SPEAKER_05 20:22

If you have like if you have like mouth herpes and then you go down on someone, you give them genital herpes.

SPEAKER_02 20:28

Yeah. So it's like And then if you if you go down on somebody, if you go down on somebody and they have genital herpes, you don't get mouth herpes. You know that you get genital herpes on the mouth. That's a real thing. They're two different things.

SPEAKER_05 20:46

Hey, you know, I don't I never had that chance because I've had good parents grow up. Drink of the week!

SPEAKER_04 20:58

Welcome to the drink of the week with Lola. This week we're going to do the gimlet. It's a very simple cocktail. It's three ingredients. So we're gonna start out with our vodka. We have two ounces of vodka. We're gonna put everything in a shake. And then we have zero point seven five of our simple syrup. And then lastly, you just have some lime juice. Same thing, zero point seven five for that. Right. We're just gonna shake all that together. And now we have our gimlet. Traditionally, it's topped with a little lemon or a little lime wedge. So you can do that. All right. Please like, subscribe, comment, text in, tell us your stories, good, bad, and everything. We'd love to hear from you. Let's get back to the show.

SPEAKER_02 22:33

And we're back. We have the gimlet this week.

SPEAKER_05 22:50

You guys can hear my slurping, right?

SPEAKER_02 22:54

It's me.

SPEAKER_05 22:55

Okay. I can I'm like, oh that's really good. Lemon. It's really refreshing. And it's very refreshing. And it's very fitting for.

SPEAKER_02 23:06

I say it as like a summer drink, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 23:09

I mean, even though we are t what like right now we are technically, I think, still winter.

SPEAKER_02 23:16

I think we just hit spring.

SPEAKER_05 23:18

Just briefly, but I talked about you guys. I talked about this like a couple days ago, but or this was this happened a couple days ago by just now talking guys about it. But two gay two two days ago. Oh my god. Two days ago.

SPEAKER_02 23:32

Yes, ma'am. Um Yes, Quayne.

SPEAKER_05 23:36

In I th I never even heard about this until I saw the news article, but it's called Oh, I was reading something.

SPEAKER_02 23:43

Do you want margarita? So that we can actually have a straight story over here that I don't have to cut a million times.

SPEAKER_03 23:53

Give me my simply put some put some salt on the rim.

SPEAKER_04 23:58

Of this?

SPEAKER_03 23:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:00

Okay, now everybody shut up so that we can have a story that I don't have to cut.

SPEAKER_05 24:04

Sorry.

SPEAKER_02 24:05

Okay, go ahead, Chloe.

SPEAKER_05 24:06

Um, but uh, but yeah, since we obviously live in Arizona. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:11

Um, she has to turn the cup over. Thank you.

SPEAKER_03 24:21

Oh.

SPEAKER_02 24:22

Okay, now let's wait until Lola's done making noise. Um, I'm even here.

SPEAKER_05 24:27

I just heard people freaking out.

SPEAKER_02 24:29

I heard the big oh.

SPEAKER_05 24:32

It's like men ASMR. You're good. I'll be quiet and then Okay, go ahead.

SPEAKER_02 24:38

You have 30 seconds.

SPEAKER_05 24:40

Okay, um, so I didn't even know Martinez, Arizona was a place to begin with.

SPEAKER_02 24:47

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 24:48

Um, but a couple days ago from the time where we're filming, um, Martinez, Arizona hit 110 degrees, and that is the hottest day in March that has ever been recorded in the US. And that and since like before Martinez, Arizona, the most recent time that has hit that record was at 108, and it was somewhere in Texas, I think in the 1960s. Oh wow. Also, have you guys been having an issue with grasshoppers in your area? Because I know I live kind of far away.

SPEAKER_03 25:21

So many grasshoppers.

SPEAKER_05 25:23

Like the area, like literally, I can't open my door without like 10 flying in.

SPEAKER_02 25:27

Yeah, one of them hit my girl in the face the other day.

SPEAKER_03 25:32

Wait, which one?

SPEAKER_02 25:34

No need to disclose.

SPEAKER_03 25:35

But yeah, no, dude, I've been seeing them all over the place. There were some in my sink train the other day. I I I literally went to wash my dishes and it jumps at me in the face. I'm like, what the f dude? Is it the is Armageddon happening? Like, is are we going through Ragnarok soon?

SPEAKER_05 25:52

Like, is the second coming approaching?

SPEAKER_03 25:54

Yeah, like is it the end times here?

SPEAKER_02 25:58

I got a subject change, guys. I want to ask you something. I want to hear your guys' thoughts on this. How do you feel in a relationship?

SPEAKER_05 26:05

Oh, I love this question already.

SPEAKER_02 26:07

How do you feel if a man doesn't know or is unwilling or can't change a flat tire on a car?

SPEAKER_05 26:19

Um, can I say it personally?

SPEAKER_02 26:21

Yeah, go ahead.

SPEAKER_05 26:21

Okay. So I don't personally have a problem with it because honestly, until my own husband taught me how to change a flat tire, I didn't know. I think the standard for everyone, as someone that didn't know at the time that I was learning how to drive, should learn how to change a tire, a flat tire in general, as they're learning how to drive.

SPEAKER_02 26:41

I see I can agree with that, but I feel like at the end of the day, though. They are like the dude should know how to.

SPEAKER_05 26:51

It is ideal because they are stronger. Because even when my husband was teaching me, I was struggling so much, and like he's not just stronger.

SPEAKER_03 26:57

They have a penis. So you're they should be doing all the dirty stuff. Yeah, you you're fine with having a feminine man.

SPEAKER_05 27:03

It doesn't matter, just like someone is like doing I don't want I think people just just know how to know how to drive, how to how to change a tire, babe.

SPEAKER_02 27:12

How unattractive would that be? You get a flat tire, you pull over on the side of the road, and you're like, hey babe, can you go change the tire the spare tire on? And he's like, I don't want to get my fingers dirty. I don't know how to do it. I'm sorry. I don't know how to do it. Or even just I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to change a tire, babe. I like that's attractive.

SPEAKER_05 27:31

I personally date that. I personally know how I have I'm indifferent to it because I'm like, I get it, because like I don't know how to change it.

SPEAKER_02 27:37

Yeah, but you're a girl though. I feel like that's different.

SPEAKER_03 27:40

Okay, how about this? I think it's a scenario. So hold on, hold on, hold on. Let's see in this scenario. If I don't know how to paint my nails, let's add a little bit to the scenario. That's a girl thing. Let's add a little bit to the scenario. Okay, go ahead. So so you so you tell him, okay, babe, come watch me change this tire so you can do it. And he's like, I don't want to.

SPEAKER_05 27:59

If he's like, I refuse to learn, that's a different story.

SPEAKER_03 28:03

Well, okay, so he's gone to this point in his life without learning. Do you think he's gone to this point in his life without learning? Without refusing to learn.

SPEAKER_05 28:17

I guess that's fair. Yeah. Yeah. Kind of just like uh learned hopelessness sort of thing. I guess but then can't you apply that to like not even necessarily just men, but women in general? Because that's just kind of like a survival thing. Like I know there's like certain areas where it's like it's not a requirement to drive, um, so it's like more understandable. Uh like New York or Eastern sort of thing. But in our areas, it's like you have to drive, like to go to work, sort of thing. It's like a normal thing to drive an hour for work. So um when it comes to that, like if my husband's like, Oh, I don't know how to change a tire, and and if this was the case, like if I knew it, and then I was like, Oh, can I teach you? He would be all for that. But in this case, he was like, Oh, I already know how to change a tire. Can I like let me teach you? So like this is a situation we're in. And so he fully like taught me, but if like in any scenario where he was like, I I don't want to do it, I don't want to learn, then it's like, you're being a why are you being such a fitch?

SPEAKER_02 29:23

Like let me ask you this, just let me ask you this scenario. Let me ask you this scenario, okay? And I know you're very prominent on not thinking like this, but pretend for a second that you're single and you're in the dating field, even if it's just you're looking back at that time, right? Okay, you're single in the dating field, you go on two different dates. Okay, you're both driving in the car, both dates, tire blows. Okay if the dude, if the tire blows, and the guy and you don't know how to change a tire at this point, right? And the guy's like, Oh, I'm I don't want to do it, or I'll I'll just call somebody or or whatever, right? At the end of the day, it doesn't change it. Or second scenario, you blow a tire on the freeway and the dude's like, hold up, I got it, you wait here, I'm gonna go take care of it, I'll be right back. Which is more attractive.

SPEAKER_05 30:15

I will say the second one because it's like the whole idea of like, if it's specifically like, don't worry about it, I'm gonna take care of it. It's not even just like a overall, like, oh, he has everything handled in this scenario, it's just kind of like the umbrella. It's like he has the shit handled in general. He's gonna take care of me no matter what, like he is my protector, like that sort of thing.

SPEAKER_03 30:40

Including if you also have the option of either one of those guys, you get to a point of actually dating them, you blow a tire, and you're able to call either one and say, Hey, I blew a tire, can you come change it for me? You taking the one that comes changing it to change it for you, or you're taking the dude that just sits back and goes, I don't know how to do a Zara baby.

SPEAKER_02 31:01

You gotta call someone naturally, but like that's what I'm saying though, is it's important for there's certain things that a guy should just know how to do. You should just know.

SPEAKER_05 31:08

Oh, I I agree. Especially it's just like not as common, honestly.

SPEAKER_02 31:14

And I think that's a problem though.

SPEAKER_05 31:16

Oh, I agree, yeah. Like I'm sure I don't want to like discredit, like, oh, like you shouldn't like like I was saying, like, people who should that are driving in general should know how to change a tire across the board. Like, you should know how to do that.

SPEAKER_02 31:28

You better be careful with Chloe. Last time she got too drunk and had to stay the night. Chloe, you were gone. Horrible.

SPEAKER_04 31:35

I was fine.

SPEAKER_02 31:36

No, you weren't. You were swaying sitting down.

SPEAKER_04 31:40

Was I really?

SPEAKER_02 31:41

Yeah, I was bad. She's like, I'm just gonna sleep in my car. Chloe, just there's an extra bed. That shit was horrible, and yours definitely had more than mine. Oh yeah, Chloe, you were gone. You blew what, a 2.5 or a 0.25?

SPEAKER_05 32:01

It was like that's what I said.

SPEAKER_02 32:04

Yeah, you were at least two.

SPEAKER_05 32:05

I was not like thinking about driving. Let me just clarify that.

SPEAKER_02 32:08

No, no, for sure. I knew you weren't, but I was like, I don't even know if you could walk to your car right now. Thank you for joining us this week on the Drunk Cactide Podcast. We appreciate you guys here with Julian and Chloe. And I'm Riley. And every episode at 3 p.m. Mountain Standard Time, we'll see you guys next week. Like, subscribe, comment, bye.