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Welcome back everyone. A weird week here with your host Riley Purser. We were joined with Julian and Chloe. Talking about our fake fan, Review, and Prostates.

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[DISCLAIMER] 
All comments made in this video are purely satirical and for comedic/entertainment purposes only. This is a comedy video. Do not take anything said in the video seriously. All people seen in this video are actors, this video was filmed on a film set with professionals. Comments made by actors are not to be confused with the real opinions of the actors. This is a staged comedic performance.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:02

Welcome to the Join Cat Dye Podcast, where the arguments are dumb, the logic is slurred, and we are bound to make someone upset to breathe the same air as us. I'm your host, Riley Purser. Join here today with Chloe and Julian. Thank you for joining today, guys.

SPEAKER_03 0:23

Also, I have a skort on, so I'm not flashing anyone, just so anyone is one.

SPEAKER_01 0:28

Oh, did you say skirt?

SPEAKER_03 0:29

Squirt. Squirt.

SPEAKER_01 0:31

I heard skirt and I was like, wait. Skort. That is not what I heard. Oh God. Uh the one I heard uh had a Q in it, so squirt. That's why I said what? Squirt today. Not gonna flash y'all. Yeah. Thanks for letting us know. I was very concerned. I was thought I gotta call your husband. Yeah, we'd have to be like, hey, bro, can you just come get her?

SPEAKER_03 0:57

She's only had half a beer. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 0:59

Half a beer in, and she's already thrown herself out. Come on, bro, get out of here. Put a camera in front of her all of a sudden. She's trying to be the top 1%, bro, the United States. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That makes the most money.

unknown 1:14

Oh.

SPEAKER_04 1:16

What?

SPEAKER_01 1:16

We're talking about porn.

SPEAKER_04 1:19

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 1:22

Julian, how's your week? Um, it was another week of bull crap. I hated it. Boring. Wanted to shoot myself. Yay. Chloe, how was your week?

SPEAKER_03 1:32

Um, pretty good. Trading at my job's been great. I don't want to say where I work, um keep it private, but it's been going well.

SPEAKER_01 1:41

It's a bank. It's only fancy.

SPEAKER_03 1:43

No, it's no, I don't think it's but it's it's been going great. Yeah. Um I heard that the have you guys heard about like the gossip about the Avatar movie? Like Airbender? Have you seen the show? No. Have you seen the show?

SPEAKER_01 1:59

I know of it.

SPEAKER_03 2:00

Okay, so they there they were or it was already like officially like talked about like, oh, there's gonna be a theatrical release for the Avatar last Airbender movie.

SPEAKER_01 2:09

So wait, real quick, by theatrical, do you mean like a live action, a musical?

SPEAKER_03 2:13

It's a live it's a it's still a cartoon, but it's so like the show, but it's the entire cast, like all grown up essentially. Um and so it was originally gonna be released in theaters, but then they're like, oh, we're actually gonna release it in like on the Paramount outserts. And recently, I don't know how exactly, I guess someone that was working on the movie accidentally sent the entire film to someone, and then that person leaked the entire there's clips of it all over the internet, like people are watching it full on, like it's all over TikTok right now. That's crazy, but like they meet the men so fine, like my childhood crushes are now age appropriate again.

SPEAKER_01 2:58

Spoiler alert and concerning a little bit worrying. That sounds like grooming to me. You're just waiting for the age to come.

SPEAKER_04 3:12

Let's go! Oh, we're there!

SPEAKER_01 3:15

No officer only hand stuff. I thought it was okay when women do it. It doesn't count. Don't they all say I wish it was me? Well, it was him.

SPEAKER_03 3:29

Well, I'm gonna calm down. I'm not calling Ballinger.

SPEAKER_01 3:32

I'm gonna explain the the elephant in the room that probably nobody noticed. We have some interesting cups. Yeah. Uh there's gonna be a slightly different set next week. Or not, because I'll postpone it. It'll look exactly the same with a different wall color. We're moving the set. We're moving it. He's broke. Hey, whoa. Podcast ain't paying much, but hey, our numbers from the from the episode from the commercial doing pretty good. Yeah, almost in the 50s. Almost in the 50s. It's way better than what our other ones do around this time. Listen, man, listen, man, listen, man. We got a couple in there with a little over 200. All right. Yeah, but those are also from like the beginning, months ago. Yeah. These this is only like two episodes ago. This is way good numbers for net for usual. We gotta we gotta come up with something really good appearing. Oh, we got a couple in the bag. Cody, did you ever end up did you go to the massage parlor? Oh, I uh Magic Mike's you didn't go to Magic Mike's?

SPEAKER_03 4:33

Not yet.

SPEAKER_01 4:33

I've heard some good reviews. Have you even seen the reviews? Pretty good.

SPEAKER_03 4:38

I haven't seen the reviews personally.

SPEAKER_01 4:40

You haven't seen the video?

SPEAKER_03 4:41

No, I've seen the video.

SPEAKER_01 4:42

Oh, okay. That's what we were talking about.

SPEAKER_03 4:43

Well, yeah, but you said reviews.

SPEAKER_01 4:46

The reviews, remember in the middle of the video how they sat down and gave reviews?

SPEAKER_03 4:49

Oh, I guess I don't watch it all the way. What?

SPEAKER_01 4:53

I came on the guy. You didn't watch it?

SPEAKER_02 4:57

I watched like half the video. What a fan!

SPEAKER_01 5:01

Fake. We need full reaction. Zoom in on our face.

SPEAKER_02 5:05

I don't have any.

SPEAKER_01 5:07

Hey there. I'm Magic Mike, the owner of Magic Mike's Massage and Facials. I've been watching you, but not in a creepy way. Wait. You've been holding a lot of tension. Your shoulders are tight, your back is sore. There's a few places that you haven't been properly touching twice too long.

SPEAKER_00 5:27

That's why I opened Magic Mike's massage and facials. Not just another massage spot. No. This is one where you can come to finally release. Where every touch is slow, deep, and exactly what your body's been begging for. If you don't believe me, just listen to some of our testimonies. So how was your experience? Oh, it was deep, very deep. I've never had my back been so sore, it's so loose at the same time. I only paid for 15 minutes, but he gave me a whole hour for free. He called it his signature. Every bit of my experience was like no other shop. Let me say the facial at the end was the icing on the cake.

SPEAKER_02 6:18

That was your experience. It was nice, very smooth. The music was great. It matched the atmosphere. I enjoyed the delicate but firm touch. Would you like some more warmth?

SPEAKER_01 6:36

Julian, she's about to lose it for the next cut.

SPEAKER_02 6:38

Somehow I think you feel both pampered and oddly seen. The lotion he used made my skin glow and really clean. What's lotion? And they gave it to me in a little to-go drawer. Oh my gosh, I'm gonna use that shit forever. And it gave the the receipt, gave a handwritten note, and it was so sweet. And the peppermint on the way out just gave me a little giggle. The digital footprint's gonna be cool.

SPEAKER_01 7:05

Just wait.

SPEAKER_02 7:05

I love they gave me a little atmosphere, the customer service, an unforgettable, cheeky kind of experience.

SPEAKER_01 7:14

So how was your experience? It was the best massage ever. I know I'll be telling it again and again and again. Not a lot of business, but there is a 30-minute wait usually.

SPEAKER_02 7:31

It's fine. Bye. The farmer's head is crazy.

SPEAKER_00 7:37

Best facials in town. And you get a complimentary walk. So come on down, see for yourself at Magic Mike's Massage and Facials. Open 9 p.m. until 4 a.m. where the facial is on you. Oh, just wait. Just wait. Noah. Thank you for coming. Ooh, Rich. Thank you for coming.

SPEAKER_03 8:14

It's gonna be complete.

SPEAKER_00 8:16

Thank you for coming. Thank you for coming.

SPEAKER_03 8:18

Children are looked as happy like mommy, daddy. Who's Uncle?

SPEAKER_02 8:24

Is that Uncle Mike?

SPEAKER_01 8:26

Who's Uncle Mike? Oh, you mean Julian? So what do you think? We put a lot of time and effort into that.

SPEAKER_03 8:36

Amazing.

SPEAKER_01 8:40

Oh, and it was deep. Very deep. Just gave me a little giggle. Because we had him reading it normally at first, and then And then he was like, You want me to do an accent?

SPEAKER_03 8:54

Yeah, you guys like AI modified.

SPEAKER_01 8:57

No, that's what it was. We didn't touch it. He was just like, Want me to do an accent? Yeah, yeah, do an accent. He started doing it, we're like, Yes! No, it wasn't even that. He didn't even ask if he wanted if he won if we wanted him to do an accent. He started he started talking like Shrek to Vivian. Oh yeah. And then we were like, bro. That's right. Oh, dude. It was a lot of fun. No, the funniest part. Giggle.

SPEAKER_03 9:23

I bet the testimonies like how great.

SPEAKER_01 9:28

They wrote their own testimonies. No, I wrote like half. Oh, you wrote Vivian's. No, I wrote no Vivian wrote most of her own, but there was a couple renditions that we did. I can't remember exactly what. It was uh what's his name's uh Josh. Josh's. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh I wrote like 90% of his. Mine was all me. You know what was funny when we were shooting the uh of him in front of the spa? There was somebody working in the window. They were folding towels. When we started. And Julia was out there in women's yoga leggings. They peeked the door open when we were trying to get started. Like they opened the door. Did you see there's a watch? His nice yoga leggings. I'm like half a swastika there.

SPEAKER_03 10:17

That should be a statue.

SPEAKER_01 10:19

Yeah, all I gotta do is put my arm straight up and bam, I'm a swastika.

SPEAKER_03 10:25

Someone else going with that.

SPEAKER_01 10:27

Sorry, my bad.

SPEAKER_03 10:28

You just need to find someone with like a 3D printer and get like a tiny Julian. Oh wait, Marie, like magic mics, like just that facial ones. Dude, that's it.

SPEAKER_01 10:39

Dude! Dude, dude! Julian, Julian, is Epstein alive? Did you watch that video I sent you? Which one? The Palm Beach P? I told you Palm Beach P is. No, no, no, no, no, no. The thing about his prostate. Oh, yeah, how his prostate didn't match. Bro. Bro, did you hear about that? You know, they also wheeled out a fake body when they wheeled him out from the hot the uh Okay. No, hold on, hold on. Chloe needs to be caught up. Chloe needs to be caught up. It's also been confirmed that the body when they wheeled him out, the one that the press saw was a fake body. I'm sure. Okay, Chloe, we need to catch you up here, okay? They just found out. So, in the Epstein files, right? Because it's basically anything with anybody's name in it, there was paperwork done back in the, I think it was the early 2000s, correct me if I'm wrong. Early 2000s, of he went to the doctors because he had to have his prostate removed.

SPEAKER_03 11:24

Oh, that sucks.

SPEAKER_01 11:25

Okay, so is of what a prostectomy or something? I don't know what the name of it is. It's some sort of ectomy. Obviously, that's not something you can grow back, right? And we do not have the science to be able to lab create one or whatever, or or transplant. The autopsy says that his prostate looked fine.

SPEAKER_03 11:47

What the hell? Well no, I gotta do my art research on that because that sounds so fucking crazy.

SPEAKER_01 11:52

No, they said it they said it looked healthy, but it was slightly like slightly enlarged, like slightly a little bit big. Like he got fucked. Well, but so That can't be his body. Hear me out. That they autopsied. Remember the saying, whatever you think the government did, it's much worse. Yeah. He is dead, but they found a way to grow back human body parts through the baby eating. That is possible. That is possible.

SPEAKER_03 12:19

I mean the way that like a lot of people. That's stem cell research. Who knows?

SPEAKER_01 12:24

It's actually kind of fun, guys. Like that could be it.

SPEAKER_03 12:26

Well, no, I just don't think there's probably like so many like medical advances that we don't know about as the not one percent that like they just have full-on access to. Um, like, or uh like a whole thing, it's like, oh, whenever someone finds like a cure for uh crippling illness, and it's like they just steer Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:47

So Julian, I got a question for you. Did you know you can run cars on trees? What? Rent cars on trees? No, run cars on trees. Apparently, there's a uh method called gasifier engines, and what it is is it's giant like a giant pressure chamber that you stack with wood chips inside, and when you burn it and you have this fan at the bottom that sucks all the gases through, when you burn the wood without catching it on fire, it creates hydrogen gas. So you can actually have that get collected into a collector, go up into your uh intake and have a wood-powered car. Who created it? Um, apparently, there's actually a bunch of them. There's there's actually a whole forum. Are they still alive? Yeah. Oh surprisingly. That's crazy. Not for long. Remember the old water engines? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. No, I don't because they got killed. Yeah, they didn't live for very long.

SPEAKER_03 13:37

Super unrelated, but just randomly pops my head. I thought I think it's funny. And my husband thinks it's funny. So one of my best friends, her birthday is actually today as we're filming.

SPEAKER_01 13:46

Yes. Uh don't say that's why it's funny, is because she died in the universe. I thought that that's what we were talking about.

SPEAKER_03 13:52

No, she's not. I thought that's why it was funny.

SPEAKER_01 13:55

Did she know Epstein?

SPEAKER_03 13:56

Not personally.

SPEAKER_01 13:57

That might be why she's dead.

SPEAKER_03 13:59

That's what I was saying. So I got my days mixed up. I thought what when it was like the 13th, for some reason I thought it was the 19th. And so I wished I'm like, happy birthday. And she like full-on like went on, like, oh, thank you so much. Like doing that thing. And then um, and it and the reason why I I remember to like, oh, I gotta wish her happy birthday is because my husband and I were watching this history documentary that was happened on nine, um, on April 19th years ago. It was like the um, can't remember the name of it, but it was like the craziest um terrorist attack before like 9-11, where there was like that preschool, there was like multiple, like 19 children died. I would have to look it up.

SPEAKER_01 14:37

But it was my birthday, I'm watching stuff about terrorism.

SPEAKER_03 14:41

Well, I was like, oh my gosh, that's sorry, I'm watching terrorists. Let me message her real quick, and then she was like, Oh, thank you so much. And I was like, Oh my gosh, Alex, that's so funny that like this happened, it's her birthday, and I just remember. And he's like, It's not the 19th. And I was like, What do you mean? He's like, it's the 12th right now, and I was like, oh shit. And I'm like messaging her, I'm like, I'm so sorry. I just realized it's not actually her birthday, but she was like, It's okay, I didn't want to make you feel bad. I thought you thought my birthday was actually on the 12th, and I just send her a video of me like turning on the documentary was like April 19th.

SPEAKER_01 15:24

That's wild.

SPEAKER_03 15:25

And then she left me on red.

SPEAKER_01 15:26

Like, oh, that's what reminded me. Did you hear it? They're actually coming out with a documentary on Disney Channel, or not Disney Channel. About Disney Plus. No, no, no, no. It's about the uh the plane hijacking in Seattle.

SPEAKER_03 15:39

What?

SPEAKER_01 15:40

Do you guys know about that situation?

SPEAKER_03 15:41

Uh wait, when was this?

SPEAKER_01 15:42

Oh, yeah, I don't think so. This was let me get the d the year, because I can't remember. It was 2018. So this guy worked for the um Oh, are you talking about Sky King? Sky King? You're talking about Sky King. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you're talking about Sky King. Yeah, that wasn't like a terrorist hijacking. That was no no, I wasn't saying terrorist. No, no, no, no, no. Dude just wanted to live in his final place. Yeah, it's crazy. So he's he had taken a plane that he learned how to fly from Microsoft Flight Simulator.

SPEAKER_03 16:30

What the hell?

SPEAKER_01 16:31

Took the plane. He was a he was also a terminal worker. He was he used to throw the bags on the plane.

SPEAKER_03 16:38

Oh wait, I did wasn't he like on like oh my I didn't realize my screws were loose until now.

SPEAKER_01 16:44

Yeah, pretty much.

SPEAKER_03 16:45

I did see that.

SPEAKER_01 16:46

And he couldn't figure out how to pressurize the the cabins we kept throwing up. And then he's like, Well, I think he was also just sucking with them a little bit.

SPEAKER_03 16:53

He was like, Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 16:54

Yeah, because he went to like Mount uh Rainier and stuff, but it was funny because he he actually did a barrel roll over and the majority of uh people who are experienced with those said like he did something that people could only ever dream of doing and only dream of succeeding. Yeah, yeah. It was crazy though, because if you remember from listening to the calls between him and the tower, um he did the roll and then they're like, Okay, well let's try to land it. He's like, Oh, I don't know. I didn't think I was gonna make it out of that one. I didn't think I was gonna make it this far. You're probably gonna snatch me up when I get that. Yeah, he's like, This should be jail for life, I think. Oh, we just want to get you down here. He's like, I don't know, man. Yeah, I'm from Washington, and so I've I've talked to a couple people that like my family members and stuff, and they all saw because it was actively live on the news. Yeah, so you can see him flying through the sky, yeah. Yeah, dude, that was awesome, bro. Yeah, but they're gonna they're doing a documentary on uh Disney Plus. That's crazy. That's funny that it's on Disney. Yeah, I mean Sky King deserves it. He was uh just a troubled man.

unknown 17:55

Poor guy.

SPEAKER_01 17:55

Actually, we should we really should No, we no, that's bad. Because it is a bad don't hijack your you know a a multi-billion dollar plane. Bro, the CIA is gonna be honest. But if you do hijack a plane, do a barrel roll. That was sick, bro.

SPEAKER_03 18:14

It kind of reminds me of like, um, I don't know if you guys have seen it, but it's like a really it's like an OG YouTube video where it's like it it's about a Kiwi bird and they're flightless birds, and like he um the Kiwi is a cartoon, like he builds like puts all these uh trees on a mountain so it's like vertical, and so he and then he slings them shots off the mountain so he can experience flight for the first time. So he positioned the trees a certain way so when he's falling, it looks like he's flying, and then it it's just him dying at the end. He just wanted to have the experience to fly. Watch that when I was like eight and I was in a puddle.

SPEAKER_01 18:54

Chloe, I gotta ask you a question. And this is a callback to the last episode that you weren't here for. Is I remember is Bieber fever back?

SPEAKER_03 19:03

Oh yeah. I was never like a believer.

SPEAKER_01 19:08

Are you sure?

SPEAKER_03 19:09

I I like Son of Not to be racist. What? I'm I was never really into like, oh, I'm into the I would if someone was like asking me as like a kid, like, oh what band are you into? And I'd just come up with whatever popular name.

SPEAKER_01 19:23

I'd Jackson 5.

SPEAKER_03 19:25

No. But like I don't know, but it's they might still own that.

SPEAKER_01 19:36

No, I sang it wrong. I said one, two, three, it's easy as one, two, three. Oh, that I wait, isn't that a different song? No, that's that's just the song, but wrong. As easy as I love you. No, there's a song like it.

SPEAKER_03 19:49

It's clearly called ABC.

SPEAKER_01 19:50

Yeah, ABC. There's another song. I'll look it up after this.

SPEAKER_03 19:56

But yeah, like at least on my algorithm, it seems like the fever is back.

SPEAKER_01 19:59

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 20:00

For sure.

SPEAKER_01 20:01

What's your favorite band or single artist?

SPEAKER_03 20:06

Um, it's right now.

SPEAKER_01 20:08

Um technically, are you supposed to ask that question differently? Like, do you ask favorite band and then a favorite single artist, or can you mix the question together?

SPEAKER_03 20:15

I guess you can like just favorite.

SPEAKER_01 20:17

Who's your favorite artist? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 20:19

In general, I can be a you can group that in the group, but I like Van Gogh. I mean me too, but uh musical-wise, Katie Perry. I like no, I like John Mabellion.

SPEAKER_01 20:29

Oh, that's fire. Mike Wazowski. Hey, wait. Did Katy Perry go to space?

SPEAKER_03 20:35

I don't follow. I don't care.

SPEAKER_01 20:36

There's no way even I'm you're asking if they the if the astronauts, if the first female astronauts really went to space, you're asking me that? Um, yes, women have been to space now. Get with the times. Well, technically, there's already been women in space. Have there? Well, because they were on the the mess, yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 20:58

And she's technically the first um plumber in space because they had like repair her, she had to repair a toilet or something in there. So she became the first plumber.

SPEAKER_01 21:07

Oh my gosh, do you guys remember the the teacher that was on the spacecraft? The one that explained. And it blew up.

SPEAKER_04 21:14

Why are you laughing?

SPEAKER_01 21:19

He's talking about the challenger explosion. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 21:22

You know the way you laughed at the end. Everyone's just like, Degas, Miss What's her name?

unknown 21:27

I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 21:28

Miss What's her name?

SPEAKER_01 21:30

Oh yeah, it did not make it very far.

SPEAKER_03 21:33

Alright, kids, we're all going home today.

SPEAKER_01 21:36

Julian, let me ask you a question. If you had unlimited money and we had the capabilities No, what? I was supposed to buy you one, remember? We already talked about this. Oh yeah. Would you go to Mars? Or just space in general? I don't want to be one of the first. I don't want to be one of the first ones on Mars. You want to let him work out some kings first? Yeah. Well, because honestly. I I think because of the and as fucked up as it sounds, because of the way that humanity is at plague on this planet, our best option is to go terraform other planets. We're the aliens. We're eventually going to terraform the majority of our solar system for sure. Within the next like thousand years. Do you think we'll actually be able to, or do you think our earth will fall apart and we go into extreme? We might die. We might die first. We might find a thing.

SPEAKER_03 22:31

We might destroy ourselves with like a war or something way before that even happens. Because people like because people are too late. I want the power. No, I want the power.

SPEAKER_01 22:40

We love anybody that has war crimes. We love anybody that will give us money. APAC hit us up. But I I will say I did my part today. My my brother and his uh his wife, they were playing with the baby and shit, and you know, they had this little water thing that had like a gallon and a half of water. Instead of pouring it down the drain, I poured it onto the sidewalk, returned it to the water cycle. Dude, remember the whole kick during Instagram? Remember the whole kick during Instagram where every time you'd open it, someone's getting shot? Oh yeah. I started with iFunny a little bit. Well you want to bring up iFunny again? Well, there was a I don't know associated. Was it last year or the year before? But there was a day on Instagram where no matter what, yeah. Yeah. Like for the whole day on Instagram, and then the next day back to normal. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 23:34

That's so weird.

SPEAKER_01 23:35

My Instagram still has people dying on it because I have Instagram Well, I'm wondering what your algorithm is. Well, I like them every once in a while just to make sure they keep showing up. Did you say you have Instagram premium? That's what I call it when I see those for real. Oh, I thought you were like paying for this.

SPEAKER_03 23:51

Like, you're paying for social media.

SPEAKER_01 23:53

My Instagram is just unhinged, bro, but I like it unhinged. You you will scroll, you'd be like, oh, that's a really funny racist meme. Scroll the next one. Oh, that's just a dude dying. Scroll the next one. Oh, it's the K-pop commercial. Well, we're gonna go ahead and go on a drink of the week.

SPEAKER_03 24:15

Is there gonna be a drink of the week?

SPEAKER_01 24:17

Yeah, remember. And we're back. We don't have a drink of the week. Yeah, the drink of the week was the or wait, hang on, guys. Drink of the week. I'm our special cups. He's got vodka, she's got a beer, I've got whiskey sour. I have to drive after this. Yeah, he's he's actually just got her. I would drink a thing of vodka like that. I'd be down for some vodka. Yeah, you gotta take the headphones off. Yeah, buddy, you gotta take the headphones off. I have a very personal question for you. Oh god. Where in the family tree? Oh yes. Sister.

SPEAKER_03 24:55

Why are you already laughing?

SPEAKER_01 24:56

Where in the family tree does it not become incest? Sister, bro.

SPEAKER_03 25:01

Never actually looked it up.

SPEAKER_01 25:03

Google says fifth generation cousins.

SPEAKER_03 25:06

Why are you looking this up? Are you curious?

SPEAKER_01 25:08

Someone told me the other day, apparently it's only the third cousin or second cousin, actually, technically, is acceptable. Acceptable. So where do you draw the line? Family in general, like yeah, but you're saying you don't have that one hot cousin that makes up the I don't think about my cousins that way enjoy it. What if you have like a family friend? Do they count under your logic as a couple of things? Well, then when you see them cities, they're like, I want to see that doesn't count. Oh, you'd be kicking it with family friends, huh?

SPEAKER_03 25:38

I'm married.

SPEAKER_01 25:39

You used to kick it with family friends, huh?

SPEAKER_03 25:41

They were way older than me, but Epstein Who? No, no, no, no, no. I would have crushes. No, I would have crushes on my brothers are way older than me, so I would have crushes on their friends.

SPEAKER_01 25:56

Barack Obama.

SPEAKER_03 25:57

That's the That's it.

SPEAKER_01 25:59

Sama Famaden.

SPEAKER_03 26:00

That's it.

SPEAKER_01 26:01

That's fair. Apparently I'm related to Barack Obama. Actually. Nah, but my my niece is I think just because you're black does not mean you're automatically related to Barack Obama. I am though. Apparently, I actually know I'm my uh Wait, your niece. You're wait, she's not black, she's Mexican. Oh. The one up in Montana, I actually have uh my my half family. My yeah, my half grandma's daughter, so my half aunt, my half-aunts, so my half-cousin, I guess, is what she would be. Yeah. I think. But yeah, she's apparently related to Obama. They did DNA testing and found that somewhere in the tree they are related. They send a little thing Obama, hey, we're really related. And they got an automated thing sent back that was signed by them. And that's sick. Yeah, but they they like they have it like all up in their family uh and entertainment center, but they're always talking about how Obama sent it to him, but I'm always thinking, um, well, it was this press secretary, I'm pretty sure. If it was even her.

SPEAKER_03 27:09

If it was even sometimes like uh, at least at that time, like if you gave donations or you were actively writing letters, you just get like a signed thing back. Like my grandparents had a signed thing from Obama at the time.

SPEAKER_01 27:24

Obama, where are you at now? Yeah. Julian, I gotta ask you one more question and then we'll go. Yeah. His name was mentioned in the files. Trump. A lot of people are iffy on whether he went there for those reasons or not. Clinton. You think he went there for Clinton reasons? No, I think they uh well, they all went there. So here's the thing. This might sound controversial. Yeah, that's what we're going for. But I think if you went to Epstein's Island, that's bad. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 28:02

Yeah. A little bit.

SPEAKER_01 28:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 28:05

It doesn't look good for him.

SPEAKER_01 28:06

That's my two cents. Well, that's the craziest part too, is because if you look back, I can't remember the exact crime, but he was already caught with this kind of stuff back in the early 2000s. So if people were going after him. So did you know that Epstein initially was a teacher, a math teacher? And do you wanna know who hired him at Harvard? I believe was Harvard, Bill Barr's father. He was Bill Barr's. So Bill Barr, the uh I can't remember if he was the district attorney, but he was one of the people who oversaw a lot of the information during the or I think he was part of the CIA, but a lot of the uh uh investigation on Epstein, the same guy whose father, so so Bill Barr's father was part of the CIA and was also the head of, I believe it was Harvard at the time, I but I might be wrong. But he was also the one who personally hired Epstein, and on top of that, he didn't hire Epstein uh uh to be the teacher for his credentials. He hired Epstein because he had a notorious uh thing about hiring people, uh not because of what uh like their history, like what they have on there, but like just if they know their stuff. Oh gotcha. That was like his whole thing was if you know your stuff, you're hired. Crazy shit. So that guy, his son, oversaw Epstein's uh trial the first, I believe, the first uh time around. On top of that, you know, the first time it was known as the sweetheart deal, where he was only jailed for I think it was what a year or two or something like that, but he was allowed out for 12 hours a day. Yeah, Epstein was went to jail or prison for you know child trafficking. I've heard it so allowed 12 hours a day each day for business. I've heard some people do that, like for like jobs and stuff, but usually not for those kind of crimes. Yeah, and I'm pretty sure his job was still trafficking children during this point. Now, who was it? The uh owner of Victoria's Secret, um Wesner. Um was in cahoots with Epstein the whole time. That's how they trafficked a lot of the mobile.

SPEAKER_03 30:27

Oh, not Victoria's Secret!

SPEAKER_01 30:29

Yeah, we have no Victoria show.

SPEAKER_03 30:31

Her secret's out.

SPEAKER_01 30:32

Yeah, her secrets out now. But uh yeah, no, he was the one. Uh I I can't believe remember what aspect uh Epstein had initially, but eventually uh Epstein was given power of attorney over Westner for Victoria's Secret and everything. A guy that literally, like three years prior to that, one of the people who was initially talking to Epstein to find out whether or not to bring him on as his financial manager was like, don't go to that guy, he's a fucking fool, he's an idiot. And then not a year later, that same guy that said that was fired because he walked into the office and who was sitting at the head desk? Epstein. And then, like two years after that, Epstein has power of attorney over Western. So and this was also during the height of all the trafficking that was going on. Yeah, yeah. It was a lot of shit. And then there's also a lot of people say, Oh, yeah, but they had humanitarian things that they uh had set up. All the humanitarian projects that Epstein and Gasly and Maxwell had set up were all defunct after about a year and a half. They were just tax fronts. They were a business made to lose business, to liquidate, to allow themselves to make money out of nothing. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 31:56

It was it like money money laundering?

SPEAKER_01 31:58

Yep. All money laundering. Just like how Epstein also uh what's it called? Um helped create a meeting between the KGB and Massad. In Israel. He helps facilitate a meeting between them. Well, yeah, Julian, the comments are all gonna say that you're wrong about everything. It was nice knowing you. Yeah, I'm gonna be dead next week. Yeah, I mean, I'm and to be fair, a lot of that is uh like paraphrased and whatnot, but the information for it is public. You can find it all online. They're in the EFTA files, and on top of that, there are there's plenty of documentation on Bill Barr's father. Um, it's all out there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. Well, that's gonna be our pod. We gotta go move some stuff. Thank you for joining us, Chloe. Thank you, Julian. Thank you for watching with us this week. Oh god. Every Wednesday at 3 p.m. Arizona time, tune in, tell your grandma and your ex-girlfriend, and we'll be here. Text us. Text us. Like it subscribe, subscribe, comment, subscribe, comment, YP algorithm. For you page Netflix. Oh I don't want to. I've already thought FC will get us demonetized before we're monetized.

SPEAKER_03 33:31

Um Arizona, because it's trending.

SPEAKER_01 33:34

Arizona, cactus, conkin ball torture, cock and ball torture. Okay, we're out of here.